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The Importance of Being Earnest - Oscar Wilde · Comedy Library

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde. First act scene,
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: morning room in Algernon's flat in Half Moon Street. The
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: room is luxuriously and artistically furnished. The sound of a
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: piano is heard in the adjoining room. Layne is arranging
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: afternoon tea on the table, And after the music has ceased,
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: Algernon enters.
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: Did you hear what I was playing? Lane?
• 0:27
  Speaker 3: I didn't think it polite to listen, sir.
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry for that for your sake. I don't play accurately.
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: Any one can play accurately, but I play with wonderful expression.
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: As far as the piano is concerned. Sentiment is my forte.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: I keep science for life, yes, sir. And speaking of
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: the science of life, have you got the cucumber sandwich
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: cut for Lady Bracknell, Yes, sir.
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: Hence them on a salver, inspects them, takes two, and
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: sits down on the sofa.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: Oh, by the way, Lane, I see from your book
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: that on Thursday night, when Lord Shoreman and mister Worthing
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: were dining with me, eight bottles of champagne are entered
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: as having been consumed.
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: Yes, sir, eight bottles in a pint.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: Why is it that at a bachelor's establishment the servants
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: invariably drink the champagne? I ask merely for information I.
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: Attributed to the superior quality of the wine, Sir. I
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: have often observed that a married household the champagne is
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: rarely of a first rate brand.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: Good heavens his marriage so demoralizing as.
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: That, I believe it is a very pleasant state, sir.
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: I've had very little experience of it myself up to
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: the present. I've only been married once, that was in
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: consequence of a misunderstanding between myself and a young person.
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: I don't know that I am much interested in your
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: family life. Lane, No, sir, it is not a very
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: interesting subject. I never think of it myself.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: Very natural, I am sure that will do. Lane, Thank you,
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: Thank you, sir.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: Lane goes out.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: Lane's views on marriage seem somewhat lax. Really, if the
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: lower orders don't set us a good example, what on
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: earth is the use of them? They seem as a
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: class who have absolutely no sense of moral responsibility.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: Enter Lane, mister Ernest worthing Enter Jack. Lane goes out.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: How are you, my dear Ernest? What brings you up
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: to town?
• 3:01
  Speaker 4: Oh? Pleasure? Pleasure. What else would bring one anywhere? Eating
• 3:07
  Speaker 4: as usual? I see algae.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: I believe it is customary in good society to take
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: some slight refreshment at five o'clock. Where have you been
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: since last Thursday?
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: Sitting down on the sofa in the country?
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: What on earth do you do there.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: Pulling off his gloves.
• 3:30
  Speaker 4: When one is in town, one amuses oneself. When one
• 3:33
  Speaker 4: is in the country, one amuses other people. It is
• 3:38
  Speaker 4: excessively boring.
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: And who are the people you amuse?
• 3:45
  Speaker 4: Oh? Neighbors? Neighbors?
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: Got nice neighbors in your part of Shropshire?
• 3:51
  Speaker 4: Hm, perfectly horrid? Never speak to one of them.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: How immensely you must amuse them?
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: Goes over and take sandwich?
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: By the way, Shropshire is your county, is it not.
• 4:05
  Speaker 4: Eh, Shropshire? Yes, of course? Hello? Why all these cops?
• 4:15
  Speaker 4: Why cucumber sandwiches? Why such reckless extravagance in one so young?
• 4:21
  Speaker 4: Who is coming to tea?
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: Who merely Aunt Augusta and Gwendolen?
• 4:27
  Speaker 4: How perfectly delightful?
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: Yes, that is all very well, But I am afraid
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: Aunt Augusta won't quite approve of your being here.
• 4:39
  Speaker 4: May I ask why my.
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: Dear fellow, the way you flirt with Gwendolen is perfectly disgraceful.
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: It is almost as bad as the way Gwendolen flirts
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: with you.
• 4:54
  Speaker 4: I am in love with Gwendolen. I have come up
• 4:58
  Speaker 4: to town expressly to propose to her.
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: I thought you had come up for pleasure. I call
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: that business.
• 5:06
  Speaker 4: How utterly unromantic you are.
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: I really don't see anything romantic and proposing. It is
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: very romantic to be in love, but there is nothing
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: romantic about a definite proposal. Why one may be accepted
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: one usually is, I believe, then the excitement is all over.
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: The very essence of romance is uncertainty. If ever I
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: get married, I'll certainly try to forget the fact.
• 5:37
  Speaker 4: I have no doubt about that, Dear Algae. The divorce
• 5:40
  Speaker 4: court were specially invented for people whose memories are so
• 5:44
  Speaker 4: curiously constituted.
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: Oh, there is no use speculating on that subject. Divorces
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: are made in heaven.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: Jack puts out his hand to take a sandwich. Algernon
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: at once interferes.
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: Please don't touch the cucumber sandwiches. They are ordered specially for.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: Aunt Augusta takes one and eats it well, you have
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: been eating them all the time.
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: That is quite a different matter.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: She is my aunt, takes plate from below.
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: I have some bread and butter. The bread and butter
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: is for Gwendolen. Gwendolen is devoted to bread and.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: Butter, advancing to table and helping himself.
• 6:30
  Speaker 4: And very good bread and butter.
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: It is too well, my dear fellow. You need not
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: eat as if you were going to eat it all.
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: You behave as if you were married to her already.
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: You are not married to her already, and I don't
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: think you ever will be.
• 6:46
  Speaker 4: Why on earth do you say that?
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: Well, in the first place, girls never marry the men
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: they flirt with. Girls don't think it right.
• 6:58
  Speaker 4: Oh, that is nonsense.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: It isn't. It is a great truth. It accounts for
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: the extraordinary number of bachelors that one sees all over
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: the place. In the second place, I don't give my
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: consent your consent, my dear fellow. Gwendolen is my first cousin.
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: And before I allow you to marry her, you will
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: have to clear up the whole question of Cecily rings Bell.
• 7:32
  Speaker 4: Cecily, what on earth do you mean? What do you
• 7:37
  Speaker 4: mean algae by Cecily. I don't know anyone of the
• 7:41
  Speaker 4: name of Cecily.
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: Enter Lane, bring me that cigarette case mister worthing left
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: in the smoking room the last time he dined here.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: Yes, sir, Laine goes out, Do.
• 7:55
  Speaker 4: You mean to say that you've had my cigarette case
• 7:57
  Speaker 4: here all this time? I wish to goodness you would
• 8:01
  Speaker 4: let me know. I've been writing franticly. It's a Scotland
• 8:05
  Speaker 4: yard about it. I was very nearly offering a very
• 8:08
  Speaker 4: large reward.
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: Well, I wish you would offer one. I happen to
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: be more than usually hard up.
• 8:15
  Speaker 4: There is no good offering a large reward. Now that
• 8:18
  Speaker 4: the thing is found.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: Enter Lane with a cigarette case on a salver. Eljernon
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: takes it at once. Lane goes out.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: I think that is rather mean of you, Ernest, I must.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: Say, opens case and examines it.
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: However, it makes no matter, for now that I look
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: at the inscription inside, I find that the thing isn't yours,
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: after all.
• 8:43
  Speaker 4: Of course, it's mine. Moving to him, you have seen
• 8:47
  Speaker 4: me with it a hundred times, and you have no
• 8:50
  Speaker 4: right whatsoever to read what is written inside. It is
• 8:54
  Speaker 4: a very ungentlemanly thing to read a private cigarette case.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: Oh, it is as to have a hard and fast
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: rule about what one should read and what one shouldn't.
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: More than half of modern culture depends on what one
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: shouldn't read.
• 9:10
  Speaker 4: I am quite aware of the fact, and I don't
• 9:13
  Speaker 4: propose to discuss modern culture. It isn't the sort of
• 9:17
  Speaker 4: thing one should talk about in private. I simply want
• 9:21
  Speaker 4: my cigarette case back.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: Yes, but this isn't your cigarette case. This cigarette case
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: is a present from someone of the name of Cecily.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: And you said you didn't know anyone of that name.
• 9:38
  Speaker 4: Well, if you want to know, Cecily happens to be
• 9:42
  Speaker 4: my aunt. Your aunt, Yes, charming old lady, she is too,
• 9:48
  Speaker 4: lives at Tunbridge Wells. Just give it back to me.
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: Aljer retreating to back of sofa.
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: But why does she call herself little Cecily if she
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: is your aunt and lives at Tunbridge Wells. Reading from
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: Little Cecily with her fondest love, moving.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: To sofa and kneeling upon it.
• 10:15
  Speaker 4: My dear fellow, what on earth is there in that
• 10:19
  Speaker 4: some ants are tall, some antsw are not tall. That
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: is a matter that surely any aunt may be allowed
• 10:26
  Speaker 4: to decide for herself. You seem to think that every
• 10:30
  Speaker 4: aunt should be exactly like your aunt. That is absurd.
• 10:34
  Speaker 4: For Heaven's sake, give me back my cigarette.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: Case follows Aldernan around the room.
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: Yes, but why does she call you her uncle? From
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: Little Cecily with her fondest love to her dear uncle Jack.
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: There is no objection. I admit to an aunt being
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: a small aunt. But why an aunt, no matter what
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: her size may be, should call her own nephew her uncle.
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: I can't quite make out. Besides, your name isn't Jack
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: at all. It is Earnest.
• 11:16
  Speaker 4: It isn't Earnest. It's Jack.
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: You have always told me it was Ernest. I have
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: introduced you to everyone as Earnest. You answer to the
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: name of Earnest. You look as if your name was Earnest.
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: You are the most earnest looking person I have ever
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: seen in my life. It is perfectly absurd. You're saying
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: that your name isn't Earnest. It's on your cards.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: Here is one of them taking it from case.
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: Mister Earnest, worthing be for the Albany. I'll keep this
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: as a proof that your name is Earnest. If ever
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: you attempt to deny it to me, or to Gwendolen
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: or to anyone else.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: What's the card in his pocket?
• 12:03
  Speaker 4: Well, my name is Ernest in Town and Jack in
• 12:06
  Speaker 4: the country, and the cigarette case was given to me
• 12:08
  Speaker 4: in the country.
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: Yes, but that does not account for the fact that
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: your small aunt Cecily, who lives at Tunbridge Wells, calls
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: you her dear uncle. Come, old boy, you had much
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: better have the thing out at once.
• 12:27
  Speaker 4: My dear allergy, you talk exactly as if you were
• 12:32
  Speaker 4: a dentist. It is very vulgar to talk like a
• 12:34
  Speaker 4: dentist when one isn't a dentist. It produces a false impression.
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: Well, that is exactly what dentists always do. Now, go
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: on tell me the whole thing. I may mention that
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: I have always suspected you of being a confirmed and
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: secret bunbarriist, and I am quite sure of it.
• 12:57
  Speaker 4: Now, Bunburiest, what on earth do you mean by a
• 13:01
  Speaker 4: bun barrist.
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: I'll reveal to you the meaning of that incomparable expression,
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: as soon as you are kind enough to inform me
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: why you are Earnest in Town and Jack in the country.
• 13:14
  Speaker 4: Well, produce my cigarette case first.
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: Here it is hans cigarette case.
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: Now produce your explanation and pray make it improbable.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: Sits on sofa, my dear fellow.
• 13:32
  Speaker 4: There is nothing improbable about my explanation at all. In fact,
• 13:36
  Speaker 4: it's perfectly ordinary. Old mister Thomas card You, who adopted
• 13:40
  Speaker 4: me when I was a little boy, made me in
• 13:43
  Speaker 4: his will guardian to his granddaughter, Miss Cecily card You. Cecily,
• 13:48
  Speaker 4: who addresses me as her uncle for motives of respect
• 13:51
  Speaker 4: that you could not possibly appreciate, lives at my place
• 13:55
  Speaker 4: in the country, under the charge of her Admiral Governess,
• 13:58
  Speaker 4: Miss Prism.
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: Where is that place in the country, By the.
• 14:03
  Speaker 4: Way, that is nothing to you, dear boy. You are
• 14:08
  Speaker 4: not going to be invited. I may tell you candidly
• 14:12
  Speaker 4: that the place is not in Shropshire.
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: I suspected that, my dear fellow, I have been buried
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: all over Shropshire on two separate occasions. Now go on,
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: Why are you Earnest in town and jack in the country.
• 14:32
  Speaker 4: Oh, my dear algae, I don't know whether you will
• 14:38
  Speaker 4: be able to understand my real motives. You are hardly
• 14:43
  Speaker 4: serious enough. When one is placed in the position of guardian,
• 14:47
  Speaker 4: one has to adopt a very high moral tone. On
• 14:52
  Speaker 4: all subjects. It's one's duty to do so, and as
• 14:55
  Speaker 4: a high moral tone can hardly be said to conduce
• 15:00
  Speaker 4: much to either one's health or one's happiness. In order
• 15:03
  Speaker 4: to get up to town, I have always pretended to
• 15:06
  Speaker 4: have a younger brother of the name of Ernest, who
• 15:09
  Speaker 4: lives in the Albany and gets into the most dreadful scrapes. That,
• 15:16
  Speaker 4: my dear Algae, is the whole truth, pure and simple.
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: The truth is rarely pure and never simple. Modern life
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: would be very tedious if it were either in modern
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: literature complete impossibility.
• 15:32
  Speaker 4: That wouldn't at all be a bad thing.
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: Literary criticism is not your forte, my dear fellow. Don't
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: try it. You should leave that to people who haven't
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: been at university. They do it so well in the
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: daily papers. What you really are is a Bunburiist. I
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: was quite right in saying you were a Unburiest. You
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: are one of the most advanced Bunbariists that I know.
• 16:00
  Speaker 4: What on earth do you mean?
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: You have invented a very useful younger brother called Earnest
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: in order that you may be able to come to
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: town as often as you like. I have invented an invaluable,
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: permanent invalid called Bunbury, in order that I may be
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: able to go down into the country whenever I choose.
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: Buonburry is perfectly invaluable. If it wasn't for Bunburry's extraordinary
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: bad health, for instance, I wouldn't be able to dine
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: with you at Willis's tonight, for I have been engaged
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: to Aunt Augusta for more than a week.
• 16:44
  Speaker 4: I haven't asked you to dine with me anyway tonight.
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: I know you are absurdly careless about sending out invitations.
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: It is very foolish of you. Nothing annoys people so
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: much as not receiving invitations.
• 17:04
  Speaker 4: You had much better dine with your Aunt Augusta.
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: I haven't the smallest intention of doing anything of the kind.
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: To begin with, I dined there on Monday, and once
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: a week is quite enough to dine with one's own relations.
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: In the second place, whenever I do dine there, I
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: am always treated as a member of the family and
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: sent down with either no woman at all or two.
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: In the third place, I know perfectly well whom she
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: will place me next to. To night. She will place
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: me next Mary Vaqua, who always flirts with her own
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: husband across the dinner table. That is not very pleasant. Indeed,
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: it is not even decent. And that sort of thing
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: is enormously on the increase. The amount of women in
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: London who flirt with their own husbands is perfectly scandalous.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: It looks so bad. It is simply washing one's clean
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: linen in public. Besides, now that I know you to
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: be a confirmed Bonburiist, I naturally want to talk to
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: you about Bunburying. I want to tell you the rules.
• 18:28
  Speaker 4: I'm not a Bunburyist at all. If Gwendolen accepts me,
• 18:33
  Speaker 4: I am going to kill my brother. Indeed, I think
• 18:35
  Speaker 4: I'll kill him. In any case, Cicely is a little
• 18:39
  Speaker 4: too much interested in him. It is rather a ball.
• 18:43
  Speaker 4: So I'm going to get rid of Ernest, and I
• 18:44
  Speaker 4: strongly advise you to do the same with mister but
• 18:50
  Speaker 4: with your invalid friend who has the absurd name.
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: Nothing will induce me to part with Bunbury. And if
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: you ever get married, which seems to me extremely problematic,
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: you will be very glad to know Bunbury. A man
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: who marries without knowing Bunbury has a very tedious time
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: of it.
• 19:13
  Speaker 4: That is nonsense. If I marry a charming girl like Gwendolen,
• 19:19
  Speaker 4: and she is the only girl I ever in my
• 19:22
  Speaker 4: life that I would marry, I certainly wouldn't want to
• 19:25
  Speaker 4: know Bunbury.
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: Then your wife will. You don't seem to realize that
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: in married life, three is company and two is none.
• 19:38
  Speaker 4: That, my dear young friend, is the theory that the
• 19:43
  Speaker 4: corrupt French drama has been propounding for the last fifty.
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: Years years, and the happy English home has proved in
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: half the time.
• 19:54
  Speaker 4: Oh, for heaven's sake, don't try to be cynical. It's
• 20:00
  Speaker 4: perfectly easy to be cynical.
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: My dear fellow. Isn't easy to be anything nowadays there's
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: such a lot of beastly competition about.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: The sound of an electric bell is heard.
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: Ah, that must be Aunt Augusta. Only relatives or creditors
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: ever ring in that Wagnerian manner. Now, if I get
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: her out of the way for ten minutes so that
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: you can have an opportunity for proposing to Gwendolyn, may
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: I dine with you tonight at Willis's.
• 20:33
  Speaker 4: Oh I suppose if you want to, Yes.
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: But you must be serious about it. I hate people
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: who are not serious about meals. It is so shadow
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: of them.
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: Enter lane, Lady Bracknell and Miss Fairfax.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: Algernon goes forward to meet them. Enter Lady Bracknell and Gwendolen.
• 20:57
  Speaker 5: Good afternoon, dear Algernon, I hope you're behaving very well.
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: I'm feeling very well on Augusta.
• 21:04
  Speaker 5: That's not quite the same thing. In fact, the two
• 21:07
  Speaker 5: things rarely go together.
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: Seized Jack and bows to him with icy coldness.
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: To Gwendolen, dear me, you are smart.
• 21:18
  Speaker 6: I am always smart, am I not mister worthing.
• 21:23
  Speaker 4: You're quite perfect, Miss Fairfax.
• 21:26
  Speaker 6: Oh, I hope I am not. That it would leave
• 21:29
  Speaker 6: no room for developments, and I intend to develop in
• 21:33
  Speaker 6: many directions.
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: Gwendolen and Jack sit down together in the corner.
• 21:38
  Speaker 5: I'm sorry if we are a little late, Aldernon, but
• 21:41
  Speaker 5: I was obliged to call on dear Lady Harbury. I
• 21:44
  Speaker 5: hadn't been there since her poor husband's death. I never
• 21:47
  Speaker 5: saw a woman so altered. She looks quite twenty years younger.
• 21:52
  Speaker 5: And now I'll have a cup of tea in one
• 21:54
  Speaker 5: of those nice cucumber sandwiches you promised me.
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: Certainly at Augusta.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: Goes over to tea table.
• 22:02
  Speaker 5: Won't you come and sit here?
• 22:03
  Speaker 6: Gwendolen, Thanks Mama, I'm quite comfortable where I am.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: Picking up empty plate in horror.
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: Good heavens vane. Why are there no cucumber sandwiches? I
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: ordered them specially?
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: There were no cucumbers in the market this morning, Sir.
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: I went down twice. No cucumbers, no, sir, not even
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: for ready money.
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: That will do Lane.
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: Thank you, Thank you, Sir goes out.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: I am greatly distressed, Aunt Augusta about there being no cucumbers,
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: not even for ready money.
• 22:51
  Speaker 5: It really makes no matter, Algernon. I had some crumpets
• 22:54
  Speaker 5: with Lady Harbury, who seems to me to be living
• 22:57
  Speaker 5: entirely for pleasure.
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: Now I hear her hair has turned quite gold from grief.
• 23:04
  Speaker 5: It certainly has changed its color from what cause, I,
• 23:07
  Speaker 5: of course cannot say.
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: Algernon crosses and hands tea.
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 23:13
  Speaker 5: I've quite a treat for you tonight, Algernon. I'm going
• 23:16
  Speaker 5: to send you down with Mary Farkarr. She's such a
• 23:19
  Speaker 5: nice woman and so attentive to her husband. It's delightful
• 23:22
  Speaker 5: to watch them.
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: I am afraid, Auntie Gusta, I shall have to give
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: up the pleasure of dining with you tonight.
• 23:30
  Speaker 5: After all, I hope not, Algernon. It would put my
• 23:34
  Speaker 5: table completely out. Your uncle would have to dine upstairs.
• 23:38
  Speaker 5: Fortunately he's accustomed to that.
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: It is a great bore, and I need hardly say
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: a terrible disappointment to me. But the fact is I
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: have just had a telegram to say that my poor
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: friend Bunberry is very ill.
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: Again exchange his glances with Jack.
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: Do they seem to think I should be with him?
• 24:06
  Speaker 5: It is very strange this mister Bunbury seems to suffer
• 24:10
  Speaker 5: from curiously bad health.
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: Yes, poor Bunberry is a dreadful invalid.
• 24:19
  Speaker 5: Well, I must say, Aldernon, I think it's high time
• 24:22
  Speaker 5: that mister Bunbury made up his mind whether he was
• 24:24
  Speaker 5: going to live or to die. This shilly shallyer with
• 24:27
  Speaker 5: the question is absurd. Nor do I in any way
• 24:30
  Speaker 5: approve of the modern sympathy with invalids. I consider it
• 24:33
  Speaker 5: morbid illness of any kind is hardly a thing to
• 24:37
  Speaker 5: be encouraged in others. Health is the primary duty of life.
• 24:41
  Speaker 5: I'm always telling that to your poor uncle, but he
• 24:42
  Speaker 5: never seems to take much notice. As far as any
• 24:45
  Speaker 5: improvement in his ailment goes, I should be much obliged
• 24:49
  Speaker 5: if you would ask mister Bunbury from me to be
• 24:51
  Speaker 5: kind enough not to have a relapse on Saturday. For
• 24:54
  Speaker 5: I rely on you to arrange my music for me.
• 24:57
  Speaker 5: It is my last reception and one wants something that
• 25:00
  Speaker 5: I will encourage conversation, particularly at the end of the
• 25:03
  Speaker 5: season when everyone has practically said whatever they had to say,
• 25:06
  Speaker 5: which in most cases was probably not much.
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: I'll speak to Bunbury aunt Augusta if he is still conscious,
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: and I think I can promise you he'll be all
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: right by Saturday. Of course, the music is a great difficulty.
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: You see, if one plays good music, people don't listen,
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: and if one plays bad music, people don't talk. But
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: I'll run over the program I've drawn out if you
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: will kindly come into the next room for a moment.
• 25:39
  Speaker 5: Thank you, Algernon. It is very thoughtful of you.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: Rising and following Algernon.
• 25:45
  Speaker 5: I'm sure the program will be delightful. After a few
• 25:48
  Speaker 5: expigations French songs, I cannot possibly allow people always seem
• 25:53
  Speaker 5: to think that they're improper and either look shocked, which
• 25:55
  Speaker 5: is vulgar, or laugh which is worse. But German sounds
• 25:59
  Speaker 5: a arly respectable language, and indeed I believe is so. Gwendolen,
• 26:03
  Speaker 5: you will accompany me, certainly, Mamma.
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: Lady Bracknell and algerinin go into the music room. Gwendolen
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: remains behind.
• 26:13
  Speaker 4: Charming day it has been, Miss Fairfax.
• 26:16
  Speaker 6: Pray, don't tell me about the weather, mister Worthing. Whenever
• 26:19
  Speaker 6: people talk to me about the weather, I always feel
• 26:22
  Speaker 6: quite certain that they mean something else, and that makes
• 26:25
  Speaker 6: me so nervous.
• 26:28
  Speaker 4: I do mean something else.
• 26:31
  Speaker 6: I thought so. In fact, I am never wrong.
• 26:36
  Speaker 4: And I would like to be allowed to take advantage
• 26:38
  Speaker 4: of Lady Bracknell's temporary absence.
• 26:42
  Speaker 6: I would certainly advise you to do so. Mama has
• 26:45
  Speaker 6: a way of coming back suddenly into her room that
• 26:48
  Speaker 6: I have often had to speak to her.
• 26:49
  Speaker 4: About Miss Fairfax. Ever since I met you, I have
• 26:54
  Speaker 4: admired you more than any girl I have ever met.
• 27:00
  Speaker 4: Since I met you.
• 27:03
  Speaker 6: Yes, I am quite well aware of the fact, and
• 27:06
  Speaker 6: I often wish that in public, at any rate, you
• 27:08
  Speaker 6: had been more demonstrative for me. You have always had
• 27:13
  Speaker 6: an irresistible fascination. Even before I met you, I was
• 27:17
  Speaker 6: far from indifferent to you.
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: Jack looks at her in amazement.
• 27:21
  Speaker 6: We live as I hope you know, mister Worthing in
• 27:25
  Speaker 6: an age of ideals. The fact is constantly mentioned in
• 27:28
  Speaker 6: the more expensive monthly magazines and has reached the provincial
• 27:32
  Speaker 6: pulpits I am told and my ideal has always been
• 27:36
  Speaker 6: to love someone of the name of Earnest. There is
• 27:40
  Speaker 6: something in that name that inspires absolute confidence. The moment
• 27:44
  Speaker 6: Algernon first mentioned to me that he had a friend
• 27:47
  Speaker 6: called Earnest, I knew I was destined to love you.
• 27:52
  Speaker 4: You really love me, Gwendolen passionately, Darling, you don't know
• 28:00
  Speaker 4: how happy you've made me my own Earnest. You really
• 28:06
  Speaker 4: don't mean to say that you couldn't love me if
• 28:09
  Speaker 4: my name wasn't Earnest.
• 28:11
  Speaker 6: But your name is Earnest.
• 28:15
  Speaker 4: Yes, yes, I know it is. But supposing it was
• 28:19
  Speaker 4: something else, did you mean to say that you couldn't
• 28:22
  Speaker 4: love me then?
• 28:24
  Speaker 6: Ah? That is clearly a metaphysical speculation, and like most
• 28:28
  Speaker 6: metaphysical speculations, has very little reference at all to the
• 28:32
  Speaker 6: actual facts of real life as we.
• 28:34
  Speaker 4: Know them personally. Darling, to speak quite candidly, I don't
• 28:39
  Speaker 4: much care about the name of Earnest. I don't think
• 28:43
  Speaker 4: it suits me at all.
• 28:44
  Speaker 6: It suits you perfectly. It is a divine name, It
• 28:48
  Speaker 6: has a music of its own, It produces vibrations.
• 28:54
  Speaker 4: Well, really, Gwendolen, I must say that I think there
• 28:58
  Speaker 4: are lots of other, much nicer names. I think Jack,
• 29:01
  Speaker 4: for instance, a charming name.
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: Jack.
• 29:05
  Speaker 6: No, there's very little music in the name Jack, if
• 29:09
  Speaker 6: any at all. Indeed, it does not thrill. It produces
• 29:12
  Speaker 6: absolutely no vibrations. I have known several Jacks, and they all,
• 29:17
  Speaker 6: without exception, were more than usually plain. Besides, Jack is
• 29:22
  Speaker 6: a notorious domesticity for John, and I pity any woman
• 29:26
  Speaker 6: who is married to a man called John should probably
• 29:29
  Speaker 6: never be allowed to know the entrancing pleasure of a
• 29:32
  Speaker 6: single moment's solitude. The only safe name is Ernest.
• 29:38
  Speaker 4: Gwendolen. I must get christened at once. I mean, we
• 29:43
  Speaker 4: must get married at once. There's no time to be
• 29:46
  Speaker 4: lost married. Mister Worthing, Well, surely you know that I
• 29:53
  Speaker 4: love you, and you led me to believe, Miss Fairfax,
• 29:56
  Speaker 4: that you were not absolutely indifferent to me.
• 30:00
  Speaker 6: I adore you, But you haven't proposed to me yet.
• 30:04
  Speaker 6: Nothing has been said at all about marriage. The subject
• 30:07
  Speaker 6: has not even been touched on.
• 30:09
  Speaker 4: Yeah, well me, I propose to you now.
• 30:12
  Speaker 6: I think it would be an admirable opportunity and to
• 30:15
  Speaker 6: spare you any possible disappointment, mister Worthing, I think it
• 30:19
  Speaker 6: only fair to tell you, quite frankly beforehand, that I
• 30:23
  Speaker 6: am fully determined to accept you.
• 30:26
  Speaker 4: Gwendolen.
• 30:27
  Speaker 6: Yes, mister Worthing. What have you got to say to me?
• 30:32
  Speaker 4: You know what I've got to say to you?
• 30:35
  Speaker 6: Yes, but you don't say it.
• 30:38
  Speaker 4: Gwendolen, Will you marry me?
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: Goes on his knees.
• 30:45
  Speaker 6: Of course I will, Darling. How long you have been
• 30:48
  Speaker 6: about it? I am afraid you have had very little
• 30:51
  Speaker 6: experience and how to propose.
• 30:54
  Speaker 4: My own one. I have never loved anyone in the
• 30:56
  Speaker 4: world but you.
• 30:58
  Speaker 7: Yes.
• 30:59
  Speaker 6: But men often propose for practice. I know my brother
• 31:02
  Speaker 6: Gerald does. All my girlfriends tell me. So what wonderfully
• 31:06
  Speaker 6: blue eyes you have, Ernest, they are quite quite blue.
• 31:10
  Speaker 6: I hope you will always look at me just like that,
• 31:13
  Speaker 6: especially when there are other people present.
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: Enter Lady Bracknell.
• 31:19
  Speaker 5: Mister Worthing, Rise, sir from this semi recumbent posture. It's
• 31:23
  Speaker 5: most indecorous.
• 31:26
  Speaker 6: Mama.
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: He tries to rise, she restrains him.
• 31:30
  Speaker 6: I must beg you to retire. This is no place
• 31:33
  Speaker 6: for you. Besides, mister Worthing has not quite finished.
• 31:36
  Speaker 5: Yet finished what may I ask?
• 31:40
  Speaker 6: I am engaged to mister Worthing, Mamma.
• 31:43
  Speaker 5: They writes together, pardon me, you are not engaged to anyone.
• 31:48
  Speaker 5: When you do become engaged to someone, I or your father,
• 31:51
  Speaker 5: should his health permit him, will inform you of the
• 31:54
  Speaker 5: fact an engagement should come on a young girl as
• 31:56
  Speaker 5: a surprise, pleasant or unpleasant as the case may be,
• 32:00
  Speaker 5: it's hardly a matter that she should be allowed to
• 32:02
  Speaker 5: arrange for herself. And now I have a few questions
• 32:05
  Speaker 5: to put to you, mister Worthing. While I'm making these inquiries,
• 32:08
  Speaker 5: you Gwendolen, will wait for me below in the carriage, Mamma.
• 32:13
  Speaker 5: In the carriage, Gwendolen.
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: Gwendolen goes to the door. She and Jack blow kisses
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: to each other behind Lady Bracknell's back. Lady Bracknell looks
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: vaguely about, as if she could not understand what the
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: noise was. Finally turns round Gwendolen.
• 32:29
  Speaker 5: The carriage.
• 32:31
  Speaker 6: Yes, Mamma.
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: Goes out, looking back at Jack sitting down.
• 32:38
  Speaker 5: You can take a seat, mister worthing.
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: Looks in her pocket for note book and pencil.
• 32:43
  Speaker 4: Thank you, Lady Bracknell, I prefer standing.
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: Pencil and notebook in hand.
• 32:49
  Speaker 5: I feel bound to tell you that you are not
• 32:51
  Speaker 5: down on my list of eligible young men, although I
• 32:54
  Speaker 5: have the same list as the dear Duchess of Bolton has.
• 32:57
  Speaker 5: We work together. In fact, however, I am quite ready
• 33:00
  Speaker 5: to enter your name should your answers be what a
• 33:02
  Speaker 5: really affectionate mother requires.
• 33:05
  Speaker 4: Do you smoke, well, yes, I must admit I smoke.
• 33:10
  Speaker 5: I am glad to hear it. A man should always
• 33:12
  Speaker 5: have an occupation of some kind. There are far too
• 33:14
  Speaker 5: many idle men in London as it is. How old
• 33:18
  Speaker 5: are you?
• 33:19
  Speaker 4: Twenty nine?
• 33:21
  Speaker 5: A very good age to be married at. I have
• 33:23
  Speaker 5: always been of the opinion that a man who desires
• 33:26
  Speaker 5: to get married should either know everything or nothing. Which
• 33:30
  Speaker 5: do you know?
• 33:32
  Speaker 4: I know nothing, Lady Bracknell.
• 33:37
  Speaker 5: I am pleased to hear it. I do not approve
• 33:39
  Speaker 5: of anything that tampers with natural ignorance. Ignorance is like
• 33:43
  Speaker 5: a delicate exotic fruit. Touch it and the bloom is gone.
• 33:46
  Speaker 5: The whole theory of modern education is radically unsound. Fortunately
• 33:51
  Speaker 5: in England at any rate. Education produces no effect whatsoever.
• 33:55
  Speaker 5: If it did, it would provide a serious danger to
• 33:58
  Speaker 5: the upper classes, and probably into acts of violence. In
• 34:01
  Speaker 5: Grosvenor Square, what is your income.
• 34:05
  Speaker 4: Between seven and eight thousand a year?
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: Makes a note in her.
• 34:09
  Speaker 5: Book in land or in investments?
• 34:13
  Speaker 4: In investments?
• 34:14
  Speaker 5: Chiefly that is satisfactory. What between the duties expected of
• 34:19
  Speaker 5: one during one's lifetime and the duties extracted from one
• 34:22
  Speaker 5: after one's death. Land has ceased to be either a
• 34:25
  Speaker 5: profit or a pleasure. It gives one position and prevents
• 34:28
  Speaker 5: one from keeping it up. Hmm, that's all that can
• 34:30
  Speaker 5: be said about land.
• 34:32
  Speaker 4: I have a country house with some land, of course
• 34:35
  Speaker 4: attached to it, about fifteen hundred acres, I believe, but
• 34:39
  Speaker 4: I don't depend on that for my real income. In fact,
• 34:43
  Speaker 4: as far as I can make out, the poachers are
• 34:46
  Speaker 4: the only people who make anything of it.
• 34:49
  Speaker 5: A country house, how many bedrooms? Well, at that point
• 34:52
  Speaker 5: can be cleared up afterwards you have a townhouse. I
• 34:55
  Speaker 5: hope A girl with a simple, unspoiled nature like Gwendolen
• 34:58
  Speaker 5: could hardly be expected to reside in the country.
• 35:02
  Speaker 4: Well. I own a house in Belgrave Square, but it
• 35:05
  Speaker 4: is let by the air to Lady Bloxam. Of course
• 35:08
  Speaker 4: I can get it back whenever I like, at six
• 35:10
  Speaker 4: months notice.
• 35:12
  Speaker 5: Lady Bloxam, I don't know her.
• 35:15
  Speaker 4: Oh she goes about very little. She is a lady
• 35:19
  Speaker 4: considerably advanced in years.
• 35:22
  Speaker 5: Ah, nowadays that is no guarantee of respectability of character.
• 35:27
  Speaker 5: What number in Belgrave square one nine?
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: Shaking her head?
• 35:33
  Speaker 5: The unfashionable side. I thought there was something, however, that
• 35:37
  Speaker 5: could be easily altered.
• 35:38
  Speaker 4: Do you mean the fashion or the side both?
• 35:42
  Speaker 5: If necessary? I presume What are your politics?
• 35:46
  Speaker 4: Well, I am afraid I really have none. I am
• 35:50
  Speaker 4: a liberal Unionist.
• 35:52
  Speaker 5: Oh they count as Tories. They dine with us or
• 35:54
  Speaker 5: come in the evening at any rate. Now to minor matters,
• 35:58
  Speaker 5: are your parents living?
• 36:00
  Speaker 4: I have lost both my parents.
• 36:04
  Speaker 5: To lose one parent, mister Worthing, may be regarded as
• 36:06
  Speaker 5: a misfortune. To lose both looks like carelessness. Who was
• 36:10
  Speaker 5: your father? He was evidently a man of some wealth.
• 36:13
  Speaker 5: Was he born in what the radical papers call the
• 36:16
  Speaker 5: purple of commerce? Or did he rise from the ranks
• 36:19
  Speaker 5: of the aristocracy.
• 36:21
  Speaker 4: I am afraid I really don't know. The fact is
• 36:24
  Speaker 4: Lady Bracknell I said I had lost my parents. It
• 36:28
  Speaker 4: would be near the truth to say that my parents
• 36:31
  Speaker 4: seem to have lost me. I don't actually know who
• 36:35
  Speaker 4: I am by birth. I was where I was found found.
• 36:44
  Speaker 4: The late mister Thomas Cardu, an old gentleman of a
• 36:47
  Speaker 4: very charitable and kindly disposition, found me and gave me
• 36:52
  Speaker 4: the name of Worthing because he happened ever first class
• 36:55
  Speaker 4: ticket for Worthing in his pocket at the time. Worthing
• 36:59
  Speaker 4: is a place in Sussex. It's a seaside resort.
• 37:03
  Speaker 5: Where did the charitable gentleman who had a first class
• 37:05
  Speaker 5: ticket for this seaside resort.
• 37:07
  Speaker 4: Find you in a handbag?
• 37:11
  Speaker 5: A handbag?
• 37:13
  Speaker 4: Yes, Lady Brackdam, I was in a handbag, a somewhat
• 37:20
  Speaker 4: large black leather handbag with handles to it, an ordinary handbag.
• 37:29
  Speaker 5: In fact, in what locality did this mister James or
• 37:34
  Speaker 5: Thomas Cardu come across this ordinary handbag?
• 37:39
  Speaker 4: In the cloak room at Victoria Station. It was given
• 37:43
  Speaker 4: to him in mistake for his.
• 37:45
  Speaker 5: Own the cloakroom at Victoria Station.
• 37:49
  Speaker 4: Yes, the Brighton line.
• 37:53
  Speaker 5: The line is immterial, mister Worthing. I confess I feel
• 37:57
  Speaker 5: somewhat bewildered by what you've just told me to be
• 38:00
  Speaker 5: born or at any rate bred in a handbag, whether
• 38:03
  Speaker 5: it has handles or not, seems to me to display
• 38:07
  Speaker 5: a contempt for the ordinary decencies of family life. That
• 38:10
  Speaker 5: reminds one of the worst excesses of the French Revolution,
• 38:14
  Speaker 5: and I presume you know what that unfortunate movement led to.
• 38:17
  Speaker 5: As for the particular locality in which the handbag was found,
• 38:21
  Speaker 5: a cloak room at a railway station might serve to
• 38:24
  Speaker 5: conceal a social indiscretion has probably indeed been used for
• 38:28
  Speaker 5: that purpose before, but it could hardly be regarded as
• 38:31
  Speaker 5: an assured basis for a recognized position in good society.
• 38:35
  Speaker 4: May I ask you, then, what you would advise me
• 38:38
  Speaker 4: to do. I need hardly say I would do anything
• 38:41
  Speaker 4: in the world to ensure Gwendolen's happiness.
• 38:45
  Speaker 5: I would strongly advise you, mister Worthing, to try and
• 38:48
  Speaker 5: acquire some relations as soon as possible, and to make
• 38:51
  Speaker 5: a definite effort to produce, at any rate, one parent
• 38:54
  Speaker 5: of either sex before the season is quite over.
• 38:58
  Speaker 4: Well, I don't see how I could possibly managed to
• 39:00
  Speaker 4: do that. I can produce the handbag at any moment.
• 39:04
  Speaker 4: It is in my dressing room at home. I really
• 39:06
  Speaker 4: think that should satisfy you, Lady Bracknell.
• 39:09
  Speaker 5: Me, sir, what has it to do with me? You
• 39:12
  Speaker 5: can hardly imagine that I in Lord Bracknell, would dream
• 39:15
  Speaker 5: of allowing our only daughter, a girl brought up with
• 39:18
  Speaker 5: the utmost care, to marry into a cloak room and
• 39:22
  Speaker 5: form an alliance with a parcel. Good morning, mister worthing.
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: Lady Bracknell sweeps out in majestic indignation. Good morning, Elgernon
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: from the other room strikes up the wedding march Jack
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: looks perfectly furious and goes to the door.
• 39:39
  Speaker 4: Oh, for goodness sake, don't play that ghastly tune analogy.
• 39:43
  Speaker 4: How idiotic you are.
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: The music stops and Algernon enters cheerily.
• 39:49
  Speaker 2: Didn't it go awful? Right, old boy? You don't mean
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: to say. Gwendolen refused you. I know it is a
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: way she has. She has always refuge using people. I
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: think it is most ill natured of her.
• 40:05
  Speaker 4: Oh. Gwendolen is as right as a trivet. As far
• 40:09
  Speaker 4: as she is concerned, we are engaged. Her mother is
• 40:13
  Speaker 4: perfectly unbearable. Never met such a gorgan. I don't really
• 40:19
  Speaker 4: know what a gorgan is like. But I'm quite sure
• 40:21
  Speaker 4: that Lady Bracknell is one. In any case, she is
• 40:24
  Speaker 4: a monster without being a myth, which is rather unfair.
• 40:30
  Speaker 4: I beg your pardon, Algie, I suppose I shouldn't talk
• 40:35
  Speaker 4: about your own aunt in that way before you.
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: My dear boy, I love hearing my relations abused. It
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: is the only thing that makes me put up with
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: them at all. Relations are simply the tedious pack of
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: people who haven't got the remotest knowledge of how to live,
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: nor the smallest instinct about when to die.
• 40:58
  Speaker 4: Oh, that is nonsense.
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: It isn't well.
• 41:03
  Speaker 4: I won't argue about the matter. You always want to
• 41:07
  Speaker 4: argue about things.
• 41:09
  Speaker 2: That is exactly what things were originally made for.
• 41:13
  Speaker 4: Upon my word, if I thought that, I'd shoot myself.
• 41:19
  Speaker 4: You don't think there's any chance of Gwendolen becoming like
• 41:23
  Speaker 4: a mother in about one hundred and fifty years, do you, Aldre?
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy.
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: No man does. That's his?
• 41:39
  Speaker 4: Is that clever?
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: It is perfectly phrased, and quite as true as any
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: observation in civilized life should be.
• 41:48
  Speaker 4: I am sick to death of cleverness. Everybody is clever.
• 41:53
  Speaker 4: Nowadays he can't go anywhere without meeting clever people. The
• 41:58
  Speaker 4: thing has become an absolute public nuisance. Wish to goodness
• 42:03
  Speaker 4: we had a few fools left we have, I should
• 42:08
  Speaker 4: extremely like to meet them. What do they talk.
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: About the fools? Oh about the clever people, of course?
• 42:17
  Speaker 4: Oh what fools.
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: By the way, did you tell Gwendolen the truth about
• 42:23
  Speaker 2: your being Earnest in town and Jack in the country.
• 42:27
  Speaker 4: My dear fellow, the truth isn't quite the sort of
• 42:31
  Speaker 4: thing one tells to a nice, sweet, refined girl. What
• 42:35
  Speaker 4: extraordinary ideas you have about the way to behave to
• 42:39
  Speaker 4: a woman?
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: The only way to behave to a woman is to
• 42:43
  Speaker 2: make love to her if she is pretty, and to
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: someone else if she is plain.
• 42:50
  Speaker 4: Oh, that is nonsense.
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: What about your brother? What about profligate Earnest?
• 42:58
  Speaker 4: Oh, before the end of the word, I shall have
• 43:01
  Speaker 4: got rid of him. I'll say he died in Paris
• 43:06
  Speaker 4: of apoplexy. Lots of people die of apoplexy quite suddenly,
• 43:11
  Speaker 4: don't they.
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: Yes, But it's hereditary, my dear fellow, It's a sort
• 43:16
  Speaker 2: of thing that runs in families. You had much better
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: say a severe chill.
• 43:21
  Speaker 4: You are sure severe chill isn't hereditary or anything of
• 43:25
  Speaker 4: the kind.
• 43:26
  Speaker 2: Of course, it isn't very well.
• 43:29
  Speaker 4: Then, my poor brother Ernest to be carried off suddenly
• 43:34
  Speaker 4: in Paris by a severe chill that gets rid of him.
• 43:42
  Speaker 2: But I thought you said that, miscard, you was a
• 43:46
  Speaker 2: little too much interested in your poor brother Ernest. Won't
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: she feel his loss a good deal?
• 43:53
  Speaker 4: Oh? That is all right. Cecily is not a silly
• 43:57
  Speaker 4: romantic girl. I am glad to say. She's got a
• 44:01
  Speaker 4: capital appetite, goes long walks, and pays no attention at
• 44:04
  Speaker 4: all to her lessons.
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: I would rather like to see Cecily.
• 44:10
  Speaker 4: I will take very good care. You never do. She
• 44:13
  Speaker 4: is excessively pretty and she is only just eighteen.
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: Have you told Gwendolen yet that you have an excessively
• 44:21
  Speaker 2: pretty ward who is only just eighteen? Oh?
• 44:26
  Speaker 4: One doesn't blurt these things out to people. Cecily and
• 44:30
  Speaker 4: Gwendolen are perfectly certain to be extremely great friends. I'll
• 44:35
  Speaker 4: bet you anything you like that half an hour after
• 44:38
  Speaker 4: they've met they will be calling each other sister.
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: Women only do that when they have called each other
• 44:44
  Speaker 2: a lot of other things. First, now, my dear boy,
• 44:49
  Speaker 2: if we want to get a good table at Willis's.
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: We really must go and dress. Do you know that
• 44:55
  Speaker 2: it is nearly seven?
• 44:57
  Speaker 4: Oh, it's always nearly seven.
• 45:02
  Speaker 2: Well, I'm hungry.
• 45:05
  Speaker 4: I never knew you when you won't.
• 45:08
  Speaker 2: What shall we do after dinner? Go to a theater?
• 45:12
  Speaker 4: Oh no, I loathe listening.
• 45:15
  Speaker 2: Well, let's go to the club.
• 45:18
  Speaker 4: Oh no, I hate talking.
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: Well, we might trot round to the empire at ten.
• 45:26
  Speaker 4: Oh no, I can't bear looking at things. It is
• 45:29
  Speaker 4: so silly.
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: Well, what shall we do?
• 45:34
  Speaker 4: Nothing?
• 45:35
  Speaker 2: It is awfully hard work doing nothing. However, I don't
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: mind hard work when there is no definite object of
• 45:43
  Speaker 2: any kind.
• 45:45
  Speaker 3: Enter Lane, Miss Fairfax.
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: Enter Gwendolen. Lane goes out Gwendolen.
• 45:53
  Speaker 6: Upon my word, Algae, kindly turn your back. I have
• 45:57
  Speaker 6: something very particular to say to mister.
• 46:01
  Speaker 2: Really, Gwendolen, I don't think I can allow this at all, Algae.
• 46:07
  Speaker 6: You always adopt a strictly a moral attitude towards life.
• 46:11
  Speaker 6: You are not quite old enough to do that.
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: Eljerinnon retires to the fireplace.
• 46:16
  Speaker 6: My own darling, ernest, we may never be married. From
• 46:22
  Speaker 6: the expression on Mamma's face, I fear we never shall.
• 46:26
  Speaker 6: Few parents nowadays pay any regard to what their children
• 46:29
  Speaker 6: say to them. The old fashioned respect for the young
• 46:32
  Speaker 6: is fast dying out. And whatever influence I ever had
• 46:36
  Speaker 6: over Mamma I lost at the age of three. But
• 46:40
  Speaker 6: although she may prevent us from becoming man and wife,
• 46:43
  Speaker 6: and I may marry someone else and marry often, nothing
• 46:47
  Speaker 6: that she can possibly do can alter my eternal devotion.
• 46:50
  Speaker 4: To you, dear Gwendolen.
• 46:55
  Speaker 6: The story of your romantic origins, related to me by
• 46:58
  Speaker 6: Mama with unpleasing comments, has naturally stirred the deeper fibers
• 47:03
  Speaker 6: of my nature. Your Christian name has an irresistible fascination.
• 47:08
  Speaker 6: The simplicity of your character makes you exquisitely incomprehensible to me.
• 47:14
  Speaker 6: Your town address at the Albany I have. What is
• 47:17
  Speaker 6: your address in.
• 47:18
  Speaker 4: The country, the manor House, Woolton, Hertfordshire.
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: Elgernon, who has been carefully listening, smiles to himself and
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: writes the address on his shirt cuff, then picks up
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: the railway guide.
• 47:33
  Speaker 6: There is a good postal service. I suppose it may
• 47:37
  Speaker 6: be necessary to do something desperate that, of course, will
• 47:40
  Speaker 6: require serious consideration. I will communicate with you daily, my
• 47:46
  Speaker 6: own one. How long do you remain in town till monday.
• 47:51
  Speaker 6: Good Algae, you may turn around.
• 47:53
  Speaker 2: Now the thanks I have turned round already.
• 47:58
  Speaker 6: You may also ring the bell.
• 48:01
  Speaker 4: You will let me see you to your carriage, my
• 48:03
  Speaker 4: own darling.
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: Certainly to Lane, who now enters.
• 48:08
  Speaker 4: I will see miss Fairfax out.
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: Yes, sir, Jack and Gwendolene go off. Lane presents several
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: letters on a salver to Algernon. It is to be
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: surmised that they are bills, as Algernon, after looking at
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: the envelopes, tears them.
• 48:24
  Speaker 2: Up a glass of sherry. Lane. Yes, sir, tomorrow, Lane,
• 48:30
  Speaker 2: I'm going bunburying. Yes, sir, I shall probably not be
• 48:36
  Speaker 2: back till monday. You can put up my dress clothes,
• 48:39
  Speaker 2: my smoking jacket, and all the bunburry suits.
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: Yes, sir, handing sherry.
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: I hope tomorrow will be a fine day. Lane.
• 48:50
  Speaker 3: It never is, Sir Lane, You're a perfect pessimist. I
• 48:55
  Speaker 3: do my best to give satisfaction, sir.
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: Enter Jack Lane goes off.
• 49:00
  Speaker 4: There's a sensible, intellectual girl, the only girl I ever
• 49:05
  Speaker 4: cared for in my life.
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: Algernon is laughing immoderately.
• 49:11
  Speaker 4: What on earth are you so amused at?
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: Oh?
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: I'm a little anxious about poor Bunbury. That is all.
• 49:18
  Speaker 4: If you don't care, your friend Bunbury will get you
• 49:22
  Speaker 4: into a very serious scrape one day.
• 49:25
  Speaker 2: I love scrapes. They are the only things that are
• 49:29
  Speaker 2: never serious.
• 49:31
  Speaker 4: Oh that's nonsense, Algae. You never talk anything but nonsense.
• 49:39
  Speaker 2: Nobody ever does.
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: Jack looks indignantly at him and leaves the room. Algernon
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: lights a cigarette, reads his shirt cuff and smiles. End
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: of Act one, second act scene garden at the manor house.
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: A flight of graystone steps leads up to the house.
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: The garden an old fashioned one full of roses. Time
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: of year July. Basket chairs and a table covered with
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: books are set under a large yew tree. Miss Prism
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: discovered seated at the table. Cecily is at the back,
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: watering flowers.
• 50:20
  Speaker 8: Cecily, Cecily. Surely such a utilitarian occupation as the watering
• 50:26
  Speaker 8: of flowers is rather Molten's duty than yours, especially at
• 50:30
  Speaker 8: a moment when intellectual pleasures await you. Your German grammar
• 50:34
  Speaker 8: is on the table. Pray open it at page fifteen.
• 50:37
  Speaker 8: We will repeat yesterday's lesson.
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: Coming over very slowly.
• 50:43
  Speaker 9: But I don't like German. It isn't at all a
• 50:46
  Speaker 9: becoming language. I know perfectly well that I look quite
• 50:49
  Speaker 9: plain after my German.
• 50:50
  Speaker 8: Lesson, child, You know how anxious your guardian is that
• 50:54
  Speaker 8: you should improve yourself in every way. He laid particular
• 50:58
  Speaker 8: stress on your German as he was leaving for town yesterday. Indeed,
• 51:03
  Speaker 8: he always lays stress on your German when he is
• 51:05
  Speaker 8: leaving for town.
• 51:06
  Speaker 9: Dear uncle Jack is so very serious. Sometimes he is
• 51:10
  Speaker 9: so serious that I think he cannot be quite.
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: Well drawing herself up.
• 51:15
  Speaker 8: Your guardian enjoys the best of health, and his gravity
• 51:18
  Speaker 8: of demeanor is especially to be commended in one so
• 51:20
  Speaker 8: comparatively young as he is. I know no one who
• 51:24
  Speaker 8: has a higher sense of duty and responsibility.
• 51:26
  Speaker 9: I suppose that is why he often looks a little
• 51:29
  Speaker 9: bored when we three are together.
• 51:31
  Speaker 8: Cecily, I am surprised at you. Mister Wilding has many
• 51:35
  Speaker 8: troubles in his life. Idle, merriment and triviality would be
• 51:39
  Speaker 8: out of place in his conversation. You must remember his
• 51:42
  Speaker 8: constant anxiety about that unfortunate young man his brother.
• 51:46
  Speaker 9: I wish Uncle Jack would allow that unfortunate young man
• 51:50
  Speaker 9: his brother to come down here. Sometimes we might have
• 51:53
  Speaker 9: a good influence over him, Miss prison, I am sure
• 51:56
  Speaker 9: you certainly would you know, German and geology and things
• 52:00
  Speaker 9: of that kind influence a man very much.
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: Cecily begins to write in her diary, shaking her head.
• 52:08
  Speaker 8: I do not think that even I could produce any
• 52:10
  Speaker 8: effect on a character that, according to his own brother's admission,
• 52:13
  Speaker 8: is irretrievably weak and vacillating. Indeed, I am not sure
• 52:17
  Speaker 8: that I would desire to reclaim him. I am not
• 52:20
  Speaker 8: in favor of this modern mania for turning bad people
• 52:23
  Speaker 8: into good people at a moment's notice. As a man sows,
• 52:27
  Speaker 8: so let him reap. You must put away your diary, Cicily.
• 52:31
  Speaker 8: I really don't see why you should keep a diary
• 52:32
  Speaker 8: at all.
• 52:34
  Speaker 9: I keep a diary in order to enter the wonderful
• 52:36
  Speaker 9: secrets of my life. If I didn't write them down,
• 52:39
  Speaker 9: I should probably forget all about them.
• 52:41
  Speaker 8: Memory, my dear Cecily, is the diary that we all
• 52:44
  Speaker 8: carry about with us.
• 52:46
  Speaker 9: Yes, but it usually chronicles the things that have never
• 52:49
  Speaker 9: happened and couldn't possibly have happened. I believe that memory
• 52:53
  Speaker 9: is responsible for nearly all the three volume novels that
• 52:57
  Speaker 9: Muty sends us do not.
• 52:59
  Speaker 8: Speak sla writingly. Of the three volume novels ssly, I
• 53:02
  Speaker 8: wrote one myself in earlier days.
• 53:05
  Speaker 9: Did you really, Miss Prism, how wonderfully clever you are?
• 53:09
  Speaker 9: I hope it did not end happily. I don't like
• 53:11
  Speaker 9: novels that end happily. They depress me so much.
• 53:15
  Speaker 8: The good ended happily and the bad unhappily. That is
• 53:19
  Speaker 8: what fiction means.
• 53:20
  Speaker 9: I suppose so, but it seems very unfair. And was
• 53:25
  Speaker 9: your novel ever published?
• 53:27
  Speaker 8: Alas, no, the manuscript, unfortunately was abandoned.
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: Cecily starts.
• 53:32
  Speaker 8: I used the word in the sense of lost or
• 53:34
  Speaker 8: mislaid to your work, child. These speculations are profitless.
• 53:40
  Speaker 9: Smiling, but I see dear doctor Chasuwall coming up through
• 53:44
  Speaker 9: the garden, rising and advancing Doctor Jusugal.
• 53:49
  Speaker 10: This is indeed a.
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: Pleasure entered Cannon Chazeball.
• 53:53
  Speaker 10: And how are we this morning, Mistrism? You are I tossed? Well.
• 53:58
  Speaker 9: Miss Prism has just been complaining of a slight headache.
• 54:02
  Speaker 9: I think it would do her so much good to
• 54:03
  Speaker 9: have a short straw with you in the park, doctor Chasibel.
• 54:07
  Speaker 8: Cecily, I have not mentioned anything about a headache.
• 54:11
  Speaker 9: No dear miss Prism, I know that, but I felt
• 54:14
  Speaker 9: instinctively that you had a headache. Indeed, I was thinking
• 54:18
  Speaker 9: about that and not about my German lesson when the
• 54:21
  Speaker 9: rector came in.
• 54:23
  Speaker 10: I hope, Cecily, you are not inattentive.
• 54:26
  Speaker 9: Oh I am afraid I am that is strange.
• 54:30
  Speaker 10: Were I fortunate enough to be Miss PRISM's pupil, I
• 54:33
  Speaker 10: would hang upon her lips.
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: This Prism glares.
• 54:37
  Speaker 10: I spoke metaphorically. My metaphor was drawn from bees m
• 54:43
  Speaker 10: Mister Worthing, I suppose has not returned from town yet.
• 54:47
  Speaker 8: We do not expect him till Monday afternoon.
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: Ah.
• 54:50
  Speaker 10: Yes, he usually likes to spend his Sunday in London.
• 54:54
  Speaker 10: He is not one of those whose sole aimy's enjoyment,
• 54:57
  Speaker 10: as by all accounts that unfa anwatunate young man his
• 55:01
  Speaker 10: brother seems to be. But I must not disturb a
• 55:05
  Speaker 10: Jellier and her pupil any longer.
• 55:08
  Speaker 8: In Jerier. My name is Letitia, doctor bowing.
• 55:14
  Speaker 10: A classical illusion merely drawn from the Pagan authors. I
• 55:18
  Speaker 10: shall see you both, no doubt at evenson, I.
• 55:22
  Speaker 8: Think, dear doctor, I will have a stroll with you.
• 55:24
  Speaker 8: I find I have a headache after all, and a
• 55:27
  Speaker 8: walk might do it good.
• 55:29
  Speaker 10: With pleasure, mistrism, with pleasure, we might go as far
• 55:33
  Speaker 10: as the schools and back.
• 55:35
  Speaker 8: That would be delightful. Cecily, you will read your Political
• 55:39
  Speaker 8: Economy in my absence, the chapter on the fall of
• 55:42
  Speaker 8: the rupee.
• 55:43
  Speaker 2: You may omit.
• 55:44
  Speaker 8: It is somewhat too sensational. Even these metallic problems have
• 55:48
  Speaker 8: their melodramatic side.
• 55:50
  Speaker 1: Goes down the garden with doctor Charsibal, picks up a
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: box and throws them back on table.
• 55:56
  Speaker 9: Horrid political economy, horrid geogray, horrid horrid German.
• 56:04
  Speaker 1: Enter Merriman with a card on his salver.
• 56:07
  Speaker 11: Mister Ernest Worthing has just driven over from the station.
• 56:12
  Speaker 11: He has brought his luggage with him.
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: Takes the card and reads it.
• 56:17
  Speaker 9: Mister Ernest Worthing B four the Albany w uncle Jack's brother.
• 56:25
  Speaker 9: Did you tell him mister Worthing was in town.
• 56:27
  Speaker 11: Yes, Miss, he seemed very much disappointed. I mentioned that
• 56:33
  Speaker 11: you and miss Prison were in the garden. He said
• 56:35
  Speaker 11: he was anxious to speak to you privately for a moment.
• 56:39
  Speaker 9: Ask mister Ernest Worthing to come here. I suppose you
• 56:42
  Speaker 9: had better talk to the housekeeper about a room for him.
• 56:46
  Speaker 1: Yes, Miss Merriman goes off.
• 56:49
  Speaker 9: I have never met any really wicked person before. I
• 56:52
  Speaker 9: feel rather frightened. I am so afraid he will look
• 56:55
  Speaker 9: just like everyone else.
• 56:57
  Speaker 1: Enter Elginnon, very gay and debonair he does, raising his hat.
• 57:03
  Speaker 2: You are my little cousin, Cecily.
• 57:05
  Speaker 9: I'm sure you are under some strange mistake. I am
• 57:09
  Speaker 9: not little. In fact, I believe I am more than
• 57:12
  Speaker 9: usually tall for my age.
• 57:15
  Speaker 1: Eldernon is rather taken aback.
• 57:17
  Speaker 9: But I am your cousin, Cecily. You, I see from
• 57:20
  Speaker 9: your card, are Uncle Jack's brother, my cousin Ernest, my
• 57:24
  Speaker 9: wicked cousin Ernest.
• 57:26
  Speaker 2: Ooh, I'm not really wicked at all. Cousin Cecily, you
• 57:31
  Speaker 2: mustn't think that I am wicked.
• 57:34
  Speaker 9: If you are not, then you have certainly been deceiving
• 57:36
  Speaker 9: us all in a very inexcusable manner. I hope you
• 57:39
  Speaker 9: have not been leading a double life, pretending to be
• 57:42
  Speaker 9: wicked and being really good all the time. That would
• 57:46
  Speaker 9: be hypocrisy.
• 57:48
  Speaker 1: Looks at her in amazement.
• 57:50
  Speaker 2: Oh, of course I have been rather reckless.
• 57:55
  Speaker 9: I am glad to hear it.
• 57:57
  Speaker 2: In fact, now you mentioned the subject, I have been
• 58:01
  Speaker 2: very bad in my own small way.
• 58:04
  Speaker 9: I don't think you should be so proud of that,
• 58:07
  Speaker 9: though I am sure it must have been very pleasant.
• 58:10
  Speaker 2: It is much pleasanter being here with you.
• 58:13
  Speaker 9: I can't understand how you are here at all. Uncle
• 58:16
  Speaker 9: Jack won't be back till Monday afternoon.
• 58:19
  Speaker 2: That is a great disappointment. I am obliged to go
• 58:23
  Speaker 2: up by the first train on Monday morning. I have
• 58:25
  Speaker 2: a business appointment that I am anxious to miss.
• 58:30
  Speaker 9: Couldn't you miss it anywhere but in London?
• 58:33
  Speaker 2: No, the appointment is in London.
• 58:35
  Speaker 4: Well.
• 58:36
  Speaker 9: I know, of course how important it is not to
• 58:38
  Speaker 9: keep a business engagement if one wants to retain any
• 58:41
  Speaker 9: sense of the beauty of life. But still, I think
• 58:45
  Speaker 9: you had better wait till Uncle Jack arrives. I know
• 58:48
  Speaker 9: he wants to speak to you about your emigrating, about
• 58:52
  Speaker 9: my what you're emigrating. He has gone up to buy
• 58:56
  Speaker 9: your outfit.
• 58:58
  Speaker 2: I certainly wouldn't let Jack buy my I outfit. He
• 59:00
  Speaker 2: has no taste in nickties at all.
• 59:04
  Speaker 9: I don't think you will require neckties. Uncle Jack is
• 59:07
  Speaker 9: sending you to Australia.
• 59:09
  Speaker 2: Australia, i'd sooner die.
• 59:12
  Speaker 9: Well, he said at dinner on Wednesday night, that you
• 59:15
  Speaker 9: would have to choose between this world, the next world,
• 59:18
  Speaker 9: and Australia.
• 59:19
  Speaker 2: Oh well, the accounts I have received of Australia and
• 59:23
  Speaker 2: the Next World are not particularly encouraging. This world is
• 59:27
  Speaker 2: good enough for me, Cousin Cecily.
• 59:29
  Speaker 9: Yes, but are you good enough for it?
• 59:34
  Speaker 2: I'm afraid I'm not.
• 59:36
  Speaker 7: That.
• 59:36
  Speaker 2: That is why I want you to reform me. You
• 59:40
  Speaker 2: might make that your mission if you don't mind, Cousin.
• 59:43
  Speaker 9: Cecily, I'm afraid i've no time this afternoon.
• 59:47
  Speaker 2: Well, would you mind my reforming myself this afternoon?
• 59:52
  Speaker 9: It is rather quixotic of you, but I think you
• 59:55
  Speaker 9: should try.
• 59:56
  Speaker 2: I will. I feel better already.
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 9: You are looking a little worse.
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 2: That is because I am hungry.
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 9: How thoughtless of me. I should have remembered that when
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 9: one is going to lead an entirely new life, one
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 9: requires regular and wholesome meals. Won't you come in?
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 2: Thank you? Might I have a buttonhole first? I never
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 2: have any appetite unless I have a button hole first.
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 9: A Marshall Nielle picks up scissors.
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 2: No, I'd sooner have a pink rose.
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 1: Why cuts a flower?
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 2: Because you are like a pink rose.
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 9: Cousin, Cecily, I don't think it can be right for
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 9: you to talk to me like that. Miss Prism never
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 9: says such.
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 2: Things to me, then Miss Prism is a short sighted
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 2: old lady.
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 1: Cecily puts the rose in his button hole.
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 2: You are the prettiest girl I ever saw.
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 9: Miss Prism says that all good looks are a snare.
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 2: They are a snare that every sensible man would like
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 2: to be caught in.
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 9: Oh, I don't think I would care to catch a
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 9: sensible man. I shouldn't know what to talk to him about.
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 1: They pass into the house, Miss Prism and doctor chasbel return.
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 8: You are too much alone. Dear doctor Chesogel, you should
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 8: get married a misanthrope. I can understand a woman thrope,
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 8: never with.
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 1: Their scholars shudder.
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 10: Believe me, I do not deserve so neologistic a phrase.
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 10: The precept, as well as the practice of the primitive Church,
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 10: was distinctly against matrimony.
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 8: That is obviously the reason why the primitive Church has
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 8: not lasted up to the present day. And you do
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 8: not seem to realize, dear doctor, that by persistently remaining single,
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 8: a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation. Men
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 8: should be more careful. This very celibacy leads weaker vessels astray.
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 10: But is a man not equally attractive when married?
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 8: No married man is ever attractive except to.
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 10: His wife, And often I've been told not even to her.
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 8: That depends on the intellectual sympathies of the woman. Maturity
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 8: can always be depended on Ripeness can be trusted. Young
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 8: women are.
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 1: Green, Doctor charlesbol starts.
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 8: I spoke horticulturally. My metaphor was drawn from fruits. But
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 8: where is Cecily?
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 10: Perhaps she followed us to the schools.
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 1: Enter Jack slowly from the back of the garden. He
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 1: is dressed in the deepest morning with crape hatband and
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 1: black gloves.
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 8: Mister Worthing, Mister Worthing, this is indeed a surprise. We
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 8: did not look for you till Monday afternoon.
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 1: Shakespeare's PRISM's hand in a tragic manner.
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 4: I have returned sooner than I expected, Doctor Charsible, I
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 4: hope you are well.
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 10: Dear mister w I trust this garb of woe did
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 10: not betoken some terrible calamity my brother. More shameful debts
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 10: and extravagance still leading his life.
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 1: Of pleasure, shaking his head.
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 4: Dead. Your brother Ernest dead, quite dead?
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 8: What a lesson for him? I trust he will profit
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 8: by it.
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 10: Mister Worthing. I offer you my sincerest condolence. You have
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 10: at least a consolation of knowing that you were always
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 10: the most generous and forgiving of brothers.
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 4: Poor Ernest, he had many faults. But it is a sad,
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 4: sad blow, very sad.
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 10: Indeed, were you with him at the end?
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 4: No, he died abroad in Paris. In fact, I had
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 4: a telegram last night from the manager of the Grand Hotel.
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 4: Was the cause of death mentioned a severe chill? It
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 4: seems as a man so so.
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 1: Shall he reap raising his hand.
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 10: Charity, dear misprism, charity. None of us are perfect. I
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 10: myself am particularly susceptible to drafts. Will the interments take
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 10: place here?
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 4: No? He seems to have expressed a desire to be
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 4: buried in Paris.
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 1: In Paris, shakes his head.
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 10: I fear that hardly points to any very serious state
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 10: of mind. At the last, you would, no doubt wish
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 10: me to make some slight allusion to this tragic domestic affliction.
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 1: Next Sunday, Jack presses his hand convulsively.
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 10: My sermon on the meaning of the manner in the
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 10: Wilderness can be adapted to almost any occasion, joyful or
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 10: as in the present case, distressing.
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 1: I'll sigh.
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 10: I appreached it at harvest celebrations, christenings, confirmations, on days
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 10: of you umiliation, and festal days. The last time I
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 10: delivered it was in the cathedral as a charity sermon
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 10: on behalf of the Society for the Prevention of discontent
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 10: among the Upper Orders. The Bishop, who was present was
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 10: much struck by some of the analogies.
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 4: I dow, ah, that reminds me. You mentioned christening. I
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 4: think to doctor Chosibel, I suppose you know how to christen?
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 4: All right?
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: Doctor Chasible looks astounded.
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 4: I mean, of course you are continually christening, aren't you.
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 8: It is, I regret to say, one of the rector's
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 8: most constant duties in this parish. I have often spoken
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 8: to the poorer classes on the subject, but they don't
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 8: seem to know what thrift is.
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 10: But is there any particular infant in whom you are interested,
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 10: mister Worthing, your brother was a belief unmarried.
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 1: Was he not?
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 4: Oh?
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 8: Yes, people who live entirely for pleasure usually are.
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 4: But it is not for any child. Dear doctor, I
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 4: am very fond of children.
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 2: Know.
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 4: The fact is I would like to be christened myself
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 4: this afternoon, if you have nothing better to do.
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 10: But surely, mister Worthing, you have been christened.
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 4: All lady. I don't remember anything about it, But you have.
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 10: Any grave doubts on the subject.
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 4: I certainly intend to have. Of course, I don't know
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 4: if the thing would bother you in any way, or
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 4: if you think I am a little too old now,
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 4: not at all.
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 10: The sprinkling, and indeed the immersion of adults is a
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 10: perfectly canonical practice.
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 4: Immersion You need have no apprehensions.
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 10: Sprinkling is all that is necessary, or indeed, I think advisable.
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 10: Our weather is so changeable. At what hour would you
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 10: wish the ceremony performed?
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 4: Oh? I might trot round about five if that would suit.
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 10: You, Oh, perfectly perfectly. In fact, I have two similar
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 10: ceremonies to perform at that time. A case of twins
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 10: that occurred recently in one of the outlying cottages on
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 10: your own state. Poor Jenkins the Carter, a most hard
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 10: working man.
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 4: Oh I don't see much fun in being christened along
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 4: with other babies. It would be childish. Would half past
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 4: five do admirably?
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 1: Admirably takes out watch.
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 10: And now, dear mister Worthing, I will not intrude any
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 10: longer into a house of sorrow. I would merely beg
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 10: you not to be too much bowed down by grief.
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 10: What seemed to us bitter trials are often blessings in disguise.
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 8: This seems to me a blessing of extremely obvious kind.
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 1: Enter cecily from the house.
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 9: Uncle Jack, Oh, I am pleased to see you back.
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 9: But what horrid clothes you have got on? Do go
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 9: and change them?
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 10: My child? My child?
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 1: Cicely goes towards Jack. He kisses her brow in a
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 1: melancholy manner.
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 9: What is the matter, Uncle Jack? Do look happy? You
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 9: look as if you had toothache, And I have got
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 9: such a surprise for you. Who do you think is
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 9: in the dining room? Your brother?
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 4: Who?
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 9: Your brother, Ernest? He arrived about half an hour ago?
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 4: What nonsense, I haven't got her brother?
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 9: Oh, don't say that. However badly he may have behaved
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 9: to you in the past, he is still your brother.
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 9: You couldn't be so heartless as to disown him. I'll
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 9: tell him to come out, and you will shake hands
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 9: with him, won't you.
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 1: Uncle Jack runs back into the house.
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 10: These are very joyful tidings.
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 8: After all, we had all been resigned to his loss.
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 8: His sudden return seems to be a peculiarly distressing.
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 4: My brother is in the dining room. Oh, I don't
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 4: know what it all means. I think it is perfectly absurd.
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 1: Enter Algernon and Cecily. Hand in hand. They come slowly
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 1: up to Jack. God Heavens motions Algernon away.
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 2: Brother John. I have come down from town to tell
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 2: you that I am very sorry for all the jouble
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 2: I've given you, and that I intend to lead a
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 2: better life in the future.
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 1: Jack glares at him and does not take his hand.
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 9: Uncle Jack, you are not going to refuse your own
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 9: brother's hand.
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 4: Nothing will induce me to take his hand. I think
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 4: is coming down here disgraceful. He knows perfectly well.
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 9: Why, Uncle Jack, do be nice. There is some good
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 9: in everyone. Ernest has just been telling me about his poor,
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 9: invalid friend, mister Bunbury, whom he goes to visit so often,
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 9: and surely there must be much good in one who
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 9: is kind to an invalid and leaves the pleasures of
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 9: London to by a bed of pain.
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 4: Oh, he has been talking about Bunbury, has he?
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 9: Yes, he has told me all about poor mister Bunbury
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 9: and his terrible state of health.
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 4: Bunbury. Well, I won't have you talk to him about Bunbury,
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 4: or about anything else. It is enough to drive one
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 4: perfectly frantic.
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 2: Of course, I admit that the faults were all on
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 2: my side, But I must say that I think that
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 2: brother John's coldness to me is peculiarly painful. I expected
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 2: a more enthusiastic welcome, especially considering it is my first
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 2: time I have come here.
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 9: Uncle Jack. If you don't shake hands with Ernest, I
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 9: will never forgive.
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 4: You, never forgive me, never, never, never. Well, this is
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 4: the last time I shall ever do it.
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 1: Shakespeare with Algernon and glares.
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 10: It's pleasant, is it not? To see so perfect a reconciliation?
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 10: I think we might leave the two brothers together.
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 8: Cecily, you will come with us.
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 9: Certainly, Miss prison. My little task of reconciliation is over.
• 1:11:17
  Speaker 10: You have done a beautiful action today, dear child.
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 8: We must not be premature in our judgments.
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 9: I feel very happy.
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 1: They all go off except Jack and Algernon.
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 4: You young scoundrel, Algie, you must get out of this place
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 4: as soon as possible. I don't allow any bumbling here.
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 1: Enter Merriman.
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 11: I have put mister Ernest's things in the room next
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 11: to yours, sir. I suppose that is all right. What
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 11: mister Ernest's luggage, sir, I have unpacked it and put
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 11: it in the room next to you. Your own his luggage, yes, sir.
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 11: Three portmanteaus, a dressing case, two hatboxes, and a large
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 11: luncheon basket.
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 2: I am afraid I can't stay more than a week
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 2: this time.
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 4: Merryman, order the dogcart at once. Mister Ernest has suddenly
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 4: been called back to town.
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 1: Yes, sir, goes back into the house.
• 1:12:31
  Speaker 2: What a fearful liar you are. Jack, I have not
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 2: been called back to town at all.
• 1:12:36
  Speaker 4: Yes you have.
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 2: I haven't heard anyone call me.
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 4: Your duty as a gentleman calls you back.
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 2: Why duty as a gentleman has never interfered with my
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 2: pleasures in the smallest degree.
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 4: I can quite understand that.
• 1:12:54
  Speaker 2: Well, Cecily is a darling.
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 4: You are not to talk of miscard. You like that,
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 4: I don't like it.
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 2: Well, I don't like your clothes. You look perfectly ridiculous
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 2: in them. Why on earth don't you go up and change?
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 2: It is perfectly childish to be in deep mourning for
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 2: a man who is actually staying for a whole week
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 2: with you in your house as a guest. I call
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 2: it grotesque.
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 4: You are certainly not staying with me for a whole
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 4: week as a guest or anything else. You have got
• 1:13:24
  Speaker 4: to leave by the four five train.
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 2: I certainly won't leave so long as you are in mourning.
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 2: It would be most unfriendly. If I were in mourning
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 2: you would stay with me. I suppose I should think
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 2: it very unkind.
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 4: If you didn't, well, will you go if I change
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 4: my clothes?
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 2: Yes? If you are not too long. I never saw
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 2: anybody take so long to dress, and with such little result.
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 4: Well, at any rate, this is better than being always
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 4: over dressed as you are.
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 2: If I am a king hasionally a little over dressed,
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 2: I make up for it by being always immensely over educated.
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 4: Your vanity is ridiculous, your conduct and outrage, and your
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 4: presence in my garden utterly absurd. However, you have got
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 4: to catch the four or five, and I hope you
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 4: will have a pleasant journey back to town. This bunburying,
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 4: as you call it, has not been a great success
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 4: for you.
• 1:14:25
  Speaker 1: Goes into the house.
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 2: I think it has been a great success. I'm in
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 2: love with Cecily, and that is everything.
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 1: Enter Cecily at the back of the garden. She picks
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 1: up the can and begins to water the flowers.
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 2: But I must see her before I go and make
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 2: arrangements for another bunbury. Ah, there she is.
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 9: Oh, I merely came back to water the roses. I
• 1:14:51
  Speaker 9: thought you were with Uncle Jack.
• 1:14:54
  Speaker 2: He's gone to order the dog cat for me.
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 9: Oh, is he going to take you for a nice drive?
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 2: He is going to send me away?
• 1:15:02
  Speaker 9: Then? Have we got to part?
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 2: I'm afraid so. It's a very painful parting.
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 9: It is always painful to part from people whom one
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 9: has known for a very brief space of time. The
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 9: absence of old friends one can endure with equanimity, but
• 1:15:21
  Speaker 9: even a momentary separation from any one to whom one
• 1:15:24
  Speaker 9: has just been introduced is almost unbearable.
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 1: Thank you, Enter Merriman.
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 11: The dog cart is at the door.
• 1:15:33
  Speaker 1: Sir Algernon looks appealingly at Cecily.
• 1:15:37
  Speaker 9: It can wait Merriman for five minutes.
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 1: Yes, miss except Merriman.
• 1:15:46
  Speaker 2: I hope Cecily, I shall not offend you if I state,
• 1:15:49
  Speaker 2: quite frankly and openly, that you seem to me to be,
• 1:15:54
  Speaker 2: in every way the visible personification of absolute perfection.
• 1:16:00
  Speaker 9: I think your frankness does you great credit, Ernest. If
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 9: you will allow me, I will copy your remarks into
• 1:16:06
  Speaker 9: my diary.
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 1: Goes over to table and begins writing a diary.
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 2: Do you really keep a diary? I'd give anything to
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 2: look at it?
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 1: May I oh no, puts her hand over it.
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 9: You see, it is simply a very young girl's record
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 9: of her own thoughts and impressions, and consequently meant for
• 1:16:28
  Speaker 9: publication when it appears in volume form. I hope you
• 1:16:32
  Speaker 9: will order a copy, but pray, Ernest, don't stop. I
• 1:16:37
  Speaker 9: delight in taking down from dictation. I have reached absolute perfection.
• 1:16:42
  Speaker 9: You can go on. I am quite ready for more.
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 1: Somewhat taken aback.
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 9: Ahem, ahem, Oh, don't cough, Ernest. When one is dictating,
• 1:16:54
  Speaker 9: one should speak fluently and not cough. Besides, I don't
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 9: know how to spell.
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 1: A off, writes as Algernon speaks.
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 2: Cecily. Ever since I first looked upon your wonderful and
• 1:17:09
  Speaker 2: incomparable beauty, I have dared to love you wildly, passionately, devotedly, hopelessly.
• 1:17:20
  Speaker 9: I don't think that you should tell me that you
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 9: love me wildly, passionately, devotedly, hopelessly, hopelessly. Doesn't seem to
• 1:17:28
  Speaker 9: make much sense, does it, Cecily enter Merriman.
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 2: The dog cart is waiting, so tell it to come
• 1:17:38
  Speaker 2: around next week at the same hour.
• 1:17:40
  Speaker 1: Looks at Cecily, who makes no sign. Yes, Sir Merriman retires.
• 1:17:47
  Speaker 9: Uncle Jack would be very much annoyed if he knew
• 1:17:50
  Speaker 9: you were staying on till next week at the same hour.
• 1:17:54
  Speaker 2: Oh, I don't care about Jack. I don't care for
• 1:17:56
  Speaker 2: anybody in the whole world. But you, I love you. City.
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 2: You will marry me, won't you?
• 1:18:05
  Speaker 9: You silly boy? Of course, why we have been engaged
• 1:18:09
  Speaker 9: for the last three.
• 1:18:10
  Speaker 2: Months, For the last three months.
• 1:18:14
  Speaker 9: Yes, it will be exactly three months on Thursday.
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 2: But how did we become engaged?
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 9: Well, ever since dear uncle Jack first confessed to us
• 1:18:26
  Speaker 9: that he had a younger brother who was very wicked
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 9: and bad, you of course have formed the chief topic
• 1:18:31
  Speaker 9: of conversation between myself and miss Prism. And of course,
• 1:18:36
  Speaker 9: a man who has much talked about is always very attractive.
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 9: One feels there must be something in him. After all,
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 9: I dare say it was foolish of me, but I
• 1:18:46
  Speaker 9: fell in love with you, Ernest.
• 1:18:49
  Speaker 2: Darling. And when was the engagement actually settled?
• 1:18:53
  Speaker 9: On the fourteenth of February last. Worn out by your
• 1:18:57
  Speaker 9: entire ignorance of my existence, I determined to end the
• 1:19:01
  Speaker 9: matter one way or the other, and after a long
• 1:19:04
  Speaker 9: struggle with myself, I accepted you under this dear old
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 9: tree here. The next day I bought this little ring
• 1:19:12
  Speaker 9: in your name. And this is the little bangle with
• 1:19:14
  Speaker 9: the true lovers not I promised you always to wear.
• 1:19:19
  Speaker 2: Did I give you this? It's very pretty, isn't it.
• 1:19:23
  Speaker 9: Yes, you've wonderfully good taste, Ernest. It's the excuse I've
• 1:19:27
  Speaker 9: always given for your leading such a bad life. And
• 1:19:30
  Speaker 9: this is the box in which I keep all your
• 1:19:33
  Speaker 9: dear letters.
• 1:19:35
  Speaker 1: Niels at table opens box and produces letters tied up
• 1:19:39
  Speaker 1: with blue ribbon.
• 1:19:40
  Speaker 2: Why letters but my own, sweet Cecily, I have never
• 1:19:45
  Speaker 2: written you any letters.
• 1:19:47
  Speaker 9: You need hardly remind me of that. Ernest. I remember
• 1:19:51
  Speaker 9: only too well that I was forced to write your
• 1:19:53
  Speaker 9: letters for you. I wrote always three times a week,
• 1:19:57
  Speaker 9: and sometimes oftener.
• 1:20:00
  Speaker 2: Oh, do let me read them?
• 1:20:02
  Speaker 9: Cecily, Oh, I couldn't possibly, they would make you far
• 1:20:06
  Speaker 9: too conceited.
• 1:20:08
  Speaker 1: Replace his box.
• 1:20:10
  Speaker 9: The three you wrote me after I had broken off
• 1:20:12
  Speaker 9: the engagement are so beautiful and so badly spelled that
• 1:20:16
  Speaker 9: even now I can hardly read them without crying a little.
• 1:20:21
  Speaker 2: What was our engagement ever broken off?
• 1:20:24
  Speaker 9: Of course it was on the twenty second of last March.
• 1:20:28
  Speaker 9: You can see the entry.
• 1:20:29
  Speaker 1: If you like Show's diary.
• 1:20:33
  Speaker 9: To day I broke off my engagement with Ernest. I
• 1:20:37
  Speaker 9: feel it is better to do so. The weather still
• 1:20:40
  Speaker 9: continues charming.
• 1:20:42
  Speaker 2: But why on earth did you break it off? What
• 1:20:45
  Speaker 2: had I done? I had done nothing at all, Necessily,
• 1:20:49
  Speaker 2: I am very much hurt, indeed to hear you broke
• 1:20:51
  Speaker 2: it off, particularly when the weather was so charming.
• 1:20:55
  Speaker 9: It would hardly have been a really serious engagement if
• 1:20:58
  Speaker 9: it hadn't been broken off at least once. But I
• 1:21:01
  Speaker 9: forgave you before the week was.
• 1:21:03
  Speaker 1: Out, crossing to her and kneeling.
• 1:21:07
  Speaker 2: What perfect angel you are?
• 1:21:09
  Speaker 9: Says it you, dear romantic boy.
• 1:21:13
  Speaker 1: He kisses her. She puts her fingers through his hair.
• 1:21:17
  Speaker 9: I hope your hair curls naturally, does it, Yes, Darling,
• 1:21:23
  Speaker 9: with a little help from others.
• 1:21:25
  Speaker 2: I am so glad you will never break off our
• 1:21:28
  Speaker 2: engagement again, Cecily.
• 1:21:30
  Speaker 9: I don't think I could break it off now that
• 1:21:32
  Speaker 9: I have actually met you. Besides, of course, there is
• 1:21:36
  Speaker 9: the question of your name. Yes, of course you must
• 1:21:42
  Speaker 9: not laugh at me, darling. But it had always been
• 1:21:45
  Speaker 9: a girlish dream of mine to love someone whose name.
• 1:21:48
  Speaker 1: Was Ernest Algonon rises, Cecily.
• 1:21:51
  Speaker 9: Also, there is something in that name that seems to
• 1:21:55
  Speaker 9: inspire absolute confidence. I pity any poor married woman who
• 1:22:00
  Speaker 9: husband is not called Ernest.
• 1:22:03
  Speaker 2: But, my dear child, do you mean to say you
• 1:22:06
  Speaker 2: could not love me if I had some other name?
• 1:22:10
  Speaker 2: But what name?
• 1:22:13
  Speaker 4: Oooh?
• 1:22:14
  Speaker 2: Any name you like? Algernon, for instance, But I don't
• 1:22:21
  Speaker 2: like the name of Algernon. Well, my own, dear, sweet,
• 1:22:26
  Speaker 2: loving little darling, I really can't say why you should
• 1:22:29
  Speaker 2: object to the name of Algernon. It is not at
• 1:22:32
  Speaker 2: all a bad name. In fact, it is rather an
• 1:22:36
  Speaker 2: aristocratic name. Half of the chaps who get into the
• 1:22:39
  Speaker 2: bankruptcy court are called Algernon.
• 1:22:42
  Speaker 1: But seriously, cecily moving to her.
• 1:22:46
  Speaker 2: If my name was Algae, couldn't you love me?
• 1:22:50
  Speaker 1: Rising?
• 1:22:51
  Speaker 9: I might respect you, ernest, I might admire your character,
• 1:22:55
  Speaker 9: but I fear that I should not be able to
• 1:22:58
  Speaker 9: give you my undifided attention.
• 1:23:00
  Speaker 1: Ahem is cssly picking up hat your rector?
• 1:23:06
  Speaker 2: Here is I suppose thoroughly experienced in the practice of
• 1:23:12
  Speaker 2: all the rights and centamo needles of the church.
• 1:23:16
  Speaker 5: Oh?
• 1:23:16
  Speaker 9: Yes, Doctor Chasibell is a most learned man. He has
• 1:23:20
  Speaker 9: never written a single book, so you can imagine how
• 1:23:22
  Speaker 9: much he knows.
• 1:23:24
  Speaker 2: I must see him at once on the most important christening,
• 1:23:28
  Speaker 2: I mean, on the most important business. Oh, I sha'n't
• 1:23:33
  Speaker 2: be away for more than half an hour.
• 1:23:36
  Speaker 9: Considering that we have been engaged since February the fourteenth,
• 1:23:40
  Speaker 9: and that I only met you today for the first time,
• 1:23:43
  Speaker 9: I think it is rather hard that you should leave
• 1:23:45
  Speaker 9: me for so long a period as half an hour?
• 1:23:48
  Speaker 9: Couldn't you make it twenty minutes.
• 1:23:51
  Speaker 2: I'll be back in no time.
• 1:23:53
  Speaker 1: Kisses her and rushes down the garden.
• 1:23:56
  Speaker 9: What an impetuous boy he is. I like his hair
• 1:23:59
  Speaker 9: so much much. I must enter his proposal in my diary.
• 1:24:04
  Speaker 11: Enter Merriman a Miss Fairfax has just called to see
• 1:24:08
  Speaker 11: mister Worthing on very important business. Miss Fairfax estates.
• 1:24:14
  Speaker 9: Isn't mister Worthing in his library.
• 1:24:17
  Speaker 11: Mister Worthing went over in the direction of the rectory
• 1:24:19
  Speaker 11: some time ago.
• 1:24:21
  Speaker 9: Pray ask the lady to come out here. Mister Worthing
• 1:24:24
  Speaker 9: is sure to be back soon and you can bring tea.
• 1:24:28
  Speaker 1: Yes, Miss goes out.
• 1:24:30
  Speaker 9: Miss Fairfax. I suppose one of the many good elderly
• 1:24:35
  Speaker 9: women who are associated with Uncle Jack in some of
• 1:24:38
  Speaker 9: his philanthropic work in London. I don't quite like women
• 1:24:42
  Speaker 9: who are interested in philanthropic work. I think it is
• 1:24:45
  Speaker 9: so forward of them.
• 1:24:47
  Speaker 1: And toer Merriman. Miss Fairfax enter Gwendolen exit Merriman, advancing
• 1:24:54
  Speaker 1: to meet her.
• 1:24:55
  Speaker 9: Pray, let me introduce myself to you. My name is
• 1:24:58
  Speaker 9: Cecily card You.
• 1:25:00
  Speaker 1: Cecily Cardieu, moving to her and shaking hands.
• 1:25:04
  Speaker 6: What a very sweet name. Something tells me that we
• 1:25:07
  Speaker 6: are going to be great friends. I like you already
• 1:25:10
  Speaker 6: more than I can say. My first impressions of people
• 1:25:13
  Speaker 6: are never wrong.
• 1:25:15
  Speaker 9: How nice of you to like me so much after
• 1:25:18
  Speaker 9: we have known each other such a comparatively short time.
• 1:25:22
  Speaker 9: Praise it down, still standing up.
• 1:25:26
  Speaker 6: I may call you Cecily, may I not with pleasure,
• 1:25:30
  Speaker 6: and you will always call me Gwendoline, won't you.
• 1:25:34
  Speaker 9: If you wish?
• 1:25:35
  Speaker 6: Then that is all quite settled, is it not?
• 1:25:39
  Speaker 9: I hope?
• 1:25:39
  Speaker 1: So a pause they both sit down together.
• 1:25:45
  Speaker 6: Perhaps this might be a favorable opportunity for my mentioning
• 1:25:49
  Speaker 6: who I am. My father is Lord Bracknell. You've never
• 1:25:53
  Speaker 6: heard of Papa, I suppose, I don't think so. Outside
• 1:25:58
  Speaker 6: the family circle, Papa, I am glad to say, is
• 1:26:01
  Speaker 6: entirely unknown. I think that is quite as it should be.
• 1:26:05
  Speaker 6: The home seems to me to be the proper sphere
• 1:26:07
  Speaker 6: for the man. And certainly, once a man begins to
• 1:26:09
  Speaker 6: neglect his domestic duties, he becomes painfully effeminate, does he not?
• 1:26:14
  Speaker 6: And I don't like that makes men so very attractive. Cecily. Mamma,
• 1:26:21
  Speaker 6: whose views on education are remarkably strict, has brought me
• 1:26:24
  Speaker 6: up to be extremely short sighted. It is part of
• 1:26:26
  Speaker 6: her system. Should you mind my looking at you through
• 1:26:29
  Speaker 6: my glasses?
• 1:26:31
  Speaker 9: Oh not at all, Gwendolen, I am very fond of
• 1:26:34
  Speaker 9: being looked.
• 1:26:34
  Speaker 1: At after examining Cecily carefully through.
• 1:26:37
  Speaker 6: The lorn Yet you are here on a short visit.
• 1:26:42
  Speaker 9: I suppose, oh no, I live here.
• 1:26:46
  Speaker 6: Really your mother, no doubt, as some female relative of
• 1:26:50
  Speaker 6: Advancieers resides here.
• 1:26:52
  Speaker 9: Also, Oh no, I have no mother, nor in fact
• 1:26:56
  Speaker 9: any relations. Indeed, my dear guardian, with the assistance of
• 1:27:02
  Speaker 9: Miss Prisom, has the arduous task of looking.
• 1:27:05
  Speaker 6: After me your guardian.
• 1:27:09
  Speaker 9: Yes, I am mister Worthing's ward.
• 1:27:12
  Speaker 6: Oh what is strange? She never mentioned to me that
• 1:27:15
  Speaker 6: he had a ward. How secretive of him. He grows
• 1:27:19
  Speaker 6: more interesting hourly. I am not sure, however, that the
• 1:27:23
  Speaker 6: news inspires me with feelings of unmixed.
• 1:27:26
  Speaker 9: Delight, rising and going to her.
• 1:27:29
  Speaker 6: I am very fond of you, Cecily, I have liked
• 1:27:31
  Speaker 6: you ever since I met you. But I am bound
• 1:27:34
  Speaker 6: to state that now that I know that you are
• 1:27:36
  Speaker 6: mister Worthing's Ward, I cannot help expressing a wish you
• 1:27:39
  Speaker 6: were well, just a little older than you seem to
• 1:27:42
  Speaker 6: be a not quite so very alluring an appearance. In fact,
• 1:27:45
  Speaker 6: if I may speak candidly.
• 1:27:48
  Speaker 9: Pray, do I think that whenever one has anything unpleasant
• 1:27:51
  Speaker 9: to say, one should always be quite candid.
• 1:27:55
  Speaker 6: Well to speak with perfect candor. Cecily, I wish that
• 1:27:59
  Speaker 6: you were fully forty two and more than usually plain
• 1:28:02
  Speaker 6: for your age. Ernest has a strong, upright nature. He's
• 1:28:06
  Speaker 6: the very soul of truth and honor. Disloyalty would be
• 1:28:09
  Speaker 6: as impossible to him as deception. But even men are
• 1:28:12
  Speaker 6: the noblest possible moral character, or extremely susceptible to the
• 1:28:16
  Speaker 6: influence of the physical charms of others. Mardern, no less
• 1:28:20
  Speaker 6: than ancient history supplies us with many most painful examples
• 1:28:23
  Speaker 6: of what I refer to. If it were not so, indeed,
• 1:28:27
  Speaker 6: history would be quite unreadable.
• 1:28:30
  Speaker 9: I beg your pardon, Gwendolen, did you say, Earnest? Yes, Oh,
• 1:28:36
  Speaker 9: but it is not mister Ernest Worthing who is my guardian.
• 1:28:39
  Speaker 9: It is his brother, his elder brother.
• 1:28:42
  Speaker 6: Sitting down again, Ernest never mentioned to me that he
• 1:28:46
  Speaker 6: had a brother.
• 1:28:48
  Speaker 9: I am sorry to say. They have not been on
• 1:28:50
  Speaker 9: good terms for a long time.
• 1:28:54
  Speaker 6: That accounts for it. And now that I think of it,
• 1:28:57
  Speaker 6: I have never heard any man mention his brother. The
• 1:29:00
  Speaker 6: subject seems distasteful to most men. Cecily, you have lifted
• 1:29:04
  Speaker 6: a load from my mind. I was growing almost anxious.
• 1:29:09
  Speaker 6: It would have been terrible if any cloud had had
• 1:29:11
  Speaker 6: come across a friendship like ours, Would it not of course,
• 1:29:14
  Speaker 6: you are quite quite sure that it is not mister
• 1:29:17
  Speaker 6: Ernest Worthing, who is your guardian.
• 1:29:20
  Speaker 9: Quite sure a pause, in fact, I am going to
• 1:29:26
  Speaker 9: be his.
• 1:29:28
  Speaker 6: I beg your pardon.
• 1:29:30
  Speaker 9: Dearest Gwendolen. There is no reason why I should make
• 1:29:33
  Speaker 9: a secret of it to you. Our little county newspaper
• 1:29:36
  Speaker 9: is sure to chronicle the fact next week mister Ernest
• 1:29:40
  Speaker 9: Worthing and I are engaged to be married.
• 1:29:43
  Speaker 6: Quite politely, rising, my darling, Cecily, I think there must
• 1:29:48
  Speaker 6: be some slight error. Mister Ernest Worthing is engaged to me.
• 1:29:55
  Speaker 6: The announcement will appear in the morning Post on Saturday
• 1:29:57
  Speaker 6: at the latest.
• 1:29:59
  Speaker 9: Very plain rising, I am afraid you must be under
• 1:30:03
  Speaker 9: some misconception. Ernest proposed to me exactly ten minutes ago.
• 1:30:08
  Speaker 1: Show's diary. Examine's diary through her lorn yette carefully.
• 1:30:13
  Speaker 6: It is certainly very curious for he asked me to
• 1:30:16
  Speaker 6: be his wife yesterday afternoon at five thirty. If you
• 1:30:20
  Speaker 6: would care to verify the insidant, pray do so.
• 1:30:23
  Speaker 1: Produces diary of her own.
• 1:30:25
  Speaker 6: I never travel without my diary. One should always have
• 1:30:28
  Speaker 6: something sensational to read in the train. I am so
• 1:30:31
  Speaker 6: sorry dear Cicely if it is any disappointment to you,
• 1:30:34
  Speaker 6: But I am afraid I have the prior claim.
• 1:30:38
  Speaker 9: It would distress me more than I can tell you,
• 1:30:40
  Speaker 9: Dear Gwendolen, if it caused you any mental or physical anguish.
• 1:30:44
  Speaker 9: But I feel bound to point out that since Ernest
• 1:30:47
  Speaker 9: proposed to you, he clearly has changed his mind.
• 1:30:51
  Speaker 6: If the poor fellow has been entrapped into any foolish promise,
• 1:30:55
  Speaker 6: I shall consider it my duty to rescue him at
• 1:30:58
  Speaker 6: once and with a firm hand.
• 1:31:00
  Speaker 9: Whatever unfortunate entanglement my dear boy may have got into,
• 1:31:04
  Speaker 9: I will never reproach him with it after we are married.
• 1:31:08
  Speaker 6: Do you allude to me, Miss Cardieu, as an entanglement?
• 1:31:13
  Speaker 6: You are presumptuous. On an occasion of this kind, it
• 1:31:17
  Speaker 6: becomes more than a moral duty to speak one's mind.
• 1:31:20
  Speaker 6: It becomes a pleasure.
• 1:31:22
  Speaker 9: Do you suggest, Miss Fairfax, that I entrapped Ernest into
• 1:31:26
  Speaker 9: an engagement? How dare you? This is no time for
• 1:31:30
  Speaker 9: wearing the shallow mask of manners. When I see a spade,
• 1:31:34
  Speaker 9: I call it a spade.
• 1:31:36
  Speaker 6: I am glad to say that I have never seen
• 1:31:38
  Speaker 6: a spade. It is obvious that our social spheres have
• 1:31:41
  Speaker 6: been widely different.
• 1:31:44
  Speaker 1: Enter Merriman, followed by the footman. He carries a salver,
• 1:31:47
  Speaker 1: tablecloth and plate stand. Cecily is about to retort. The
• 1:31:52
  Speaker 1: presence of the servants exercises a restraining influence, under which
• 1:31:56
  Speaker 1: both girls chaf.
• 1:31:58
  Speaker 11: Shall I lay to you here as usual?
• 1:32:00
  Speaker 9: Miss yes, as usual?
• 1:32:04
  Speaker 1: Merriman begins to clear table and lay cloth. A long pause,
• 1:32:09
  Speaker 1: Cecily and Gwendolen glare at each other.
• 1:32:11
  Speaker 6: Are the many interesting walks in the vicinity, Miss Cardo.
• 1:32:15
  Speaker 9: Oh, yes, a great many. From the top of one
• 1:32:19
  Speaker 9: of the hills, quite close one can see five counties.
• 1:32:22
  Speaker 6: Five counties. I don't think I should like that. I
• 1:32:26
  Speaker 6: hate crowds.
• 1:32:27
  Speaker 9: I suppose that is why you live in town.
• 1:32:30
  Speaker 1: Gwendolen bites her lip and beats her foot nervously with
• 1:32:33
  Speaker 1: her parasol. Looking around.
• 1:32:37
  Speaker 6: Quite a well kept garden, this is, Miss Cardo.
• 1:32:41
  Speaker 9: So glad you like it, Miss Fairfax.
• 1:32:43
  Speaker 6: I had no idea there are any flowers in the country.
• 1:32:48
  Speaker 9: Oh, flowers are as common here, Miss Fairfax as people
• 1:32:52
  Speaker 9: are in London.
• 1:32:54
  Speaker 6: Personally, I cannot understand how anybody manages to exist in
• 1:32:58
  Speaker 6: the country. If anybody who is anybody does the country
• 1:33:02
  Speaker 6: always bores me to death.
• 1:33:05
  Speaker 1: Ah.
• 1:33:05
  Speaker 9: This is what the newspapers call agricultural depression, is it not?
• 1:33:10
  Speaker 9: I believe the aristocracy are suffering very much from it.
• 1:33:13
  Speaker 9: Just at present it is almost an epidemic amongst them.
• 1:33:17
  Speaker 9: I have been told, may I offer you some tea,
• 1:33:20
  Speaker 9: Miss Fairfax.
• 1:33:22
  Speaker 1: With elaborate politeness.
• 1:33:24
  Speaker 6: Thank you aside, detestable girl, But I require tea sugar. No,
• 1:33:34
  Speaker 6: thank you, Sugar is not fashionable anymore.
• 1:33:38
  Speaker 1: Cecily looks angrily at her, takes up the tongs and
• 1:33:41
  Speaker 1: puts four lumps of sugar into the cup.
• 1:33:45
  Speaker 9: Cake or bread and butter.
• 1:33:48
  Speaker 6: Bread and butter, please. Cake is rarely seen at the
• 1:33:51
  Speaker 6: best houses nowadays.
• 1:33:54
  Speaker 1: Cuts a very large slice of cake and puts it
• 1:33:56
  Speaker 1: on the.
• 1:33:56
  Speaker 9: Tray, hand that to Miss Fairfax.
• 1:34:00
  Speaker 1: Does so and goes out with footmen. Gwendolen drinks the
• 1:34:04
  Speaker 1: tea and makes a grimace, puts down cup at once,
• 1:34:08
  Speaker 1: reaches out her hand to the bread and butter, looks
• 1:34:10
  Speaker 1: at it and finds it his cake rises in indignation.
• 1:34:15
  Speaker 6: You have filled my tea with lumps of sugar, and
• 1:34:18
  Speaker 6: though I asked most distinctly for bread and butter, you
• 1:34:21
  Speaker 6: have given me cake. I am known for the gentleness
• 1:34:25
  Speaker 6: of my disposition and the extraordinary sweetness of my nature.
• 1:34:29
  Speaker 6: But I warn you, miss Cardo, you may go too far.
• 1:34:34
  Speaker 9: Rising to save my poor, innocent, trusting boy from the
• 1:34:38
  Speaker 9: machinations of any other girl. There are no lengths to
• 1:34:42
  Speaker 9: which I would not go.
• 1:34:43
  Speaker 6: From the moment I saw you, I distrusted you. I
• 1:34:46
  Speaker 6: felt that you were false and deceitful. I am never
• 1:34:50
  Speaker 6: deceived in such manners. My first impressions of people are
• 1:34:53
  Speaker 6: invariably right.
• 1:34:55
  Speaker 9: It seems to me, Miss Fairfax, that I am trespassing
• 1:34:58
  Speaker 9: on your valuable time. No doubt you have many other
• 1:35:02
  Speaker 9: calls of a similar character to make in the neighborhood.
• 1:35:05
  Speaker 1: Enter Jack, catching sight of him.
• 1:35:10
  Speaker 7: Earnest my own earnest Gwendolen Darling offers to kiss her, draws.
• 1:35:20
  Speaker 6: Back a moment. May I ask you if you are
• 1:35:24
  Speaker 6: engaged to be married to this young lady?
• 1:35:28
  Speaker 1: Points to Cecily.
• 1:35:30
  Speaker 4: Dear little Cecily, Oh, of course not. What could have
• 1:35:35
  Speaker 4: put such an idea into your pretty little head?
• 1:35:39
  Speaker 6: Thank you, you may.
• 1:35:41
  Speaker 1: Offers her cheek.
• 1:35:43
  Speaker 9: I knew there must be some misunderstanding, Miss Fairfax. The
• 1:35:47
  Speaker 9: gentleman whose arm is at present round your waist is
• 1:35:50
  Speaker 9: my guardian, mister John Worthing.
• 1:35:53
  Speaker 6: I beg your pardon.
• 1:35:54
  Speaker 9: This is uncle Jack receding Jack.
• 1:35:58
  Speaker 1: Oh, enter Algernon.
• 1:36:01
  Speaker 9: Here is Ernest.
• 1:36:04
  Speaker 1: Go straight over to Cecily, without noticing anyone else. My
• 1:36:09
  Speaker 1: own love offers to kiss her, drawing back a.
• 1:36:15
  Speaker 9: Moment, Ernest, May I ask you, are you engaged to
• 1:36:18
  Speaker 9: be married to this young lady?
• 1:36:22
  Speaker 1: Looking around?
• 1:36:24
  Speaker 2: To what young lady? Good heavens and Gwendolen?
• 1:36:29
  Speaker 9: Yes, to good Heaven's Gwendolen. I mean to Gwendolen, of.
• 1:36:34
  Speaker 2: Course, not what could have put such an idea into
• 1:36:37
  Speaker 2: your pretty little head?
• 1:36:39
  Speaker 1: Thank you, presenting her cheek to be kissed. You may
• 1:36:45
  Speaker 1: Algernon kisses her.
• 1:36:47
  Speaker 6: I felt there was some slight error, Miss Cardio. The
• 1:36:50
  Speaker 6: gentleman who is now embracing you is my cousin, mister
• 1:36:54
  Speaker 6: Algernon Moncrief.
• 1:36:56
  Speaker 9: Breaking away from Algernon, Algernon Moncrief. Oh, the two girls
• 1:37:02
  Speaker 9: moved towards each other and put their arms round each
• 1:37:05
  Speaker 9: other's with protection. Are you called Algernon?
• 1:37:10
  Speaker 2: I cannot deny it?
• 1:37:13
  Speaker 6: Oh is your name really? John?
• 1:37:19
  Speaker 1: Standing rather proudly?
• 1:37:21
  Speaker 4: I could deny it if I liked. I could deny
• 1:37:23
  Speaker 4: anything if I liked. But my name certainly is John.
• 1:37:30
  Speaker 4: It has been John for years.
• 1:37:33
  Speaker 9: To Gwendolen, a gross deception has been practiced on both
• 1:37:38
  Speaker 9: of us.
• 1:37:40
  Speaker 6: My poor wounded Cecily.
• 1:37:43
  Speaker 9: My sweet wronged Gwendolen.
• 1:37:46
  Speaker 6: You will call me sister, will you not?
• 1:37:50
  Speaker 1: They embrace Jack and Eldernan groan and walk up and down.
• 1:37:55
  Speaker 9: There is just one question I would like to be
• 1:37:57
  Speaker 9: allowed to ask, my guardian.
• 1:38:00
  Speaker 6: An admirable idea, mister Worthing. There is just one question
• 1:38:04
  Speaker 6: I would like to be permitted to put to you.
• 1:38:07
  Speaker 6: Where is your brother Ernest. We are both engaged to
• 1:38:10
  Speaker 6: be married to your brother Ernest, so it is a
• 1:38:12
  Speaker 6: matter of some importance for us to know where your
• 1:38:15
  Speaker 6: brother Ernest is at present.
• 1:38:18
  Speaker 4: Gwendolen, Cicely, it is very painful for me to be
• 1:38:24
  Speaker 4: forced to speak the truth. It is the first time
• 1:38:26
  Speaker 4: in my life that I have ever been reduced to
• 1:38:28
  Speaker 4: such a painful position, and I am really quite in
• 1:38:32
  Speaker 4: experience in doing anything of the kind. However, I will
• 1:38:35
  Speaker 4: tell you quite frankly that I have no brother, Ernest.
• 1:38:39
  Speaker 4: I have no brother at all. I never had a
• 1:38:41
  Speaker 4: brother in my life, and I certainly have not the
• 1:38:44
  Speaker 4: smallest intention of ever having won in the future.
• 1:38:49
  Speaker 9: No brother at all, none.
• 1:38:54
  Speaker 6: Had you never a brother of any kind?
• 1:38:58
  Speaker 4: Well, never, not even of any kind.
• 1:39:03
  Speaker 6: I'm afraid it is quite clear, Cecily, that neither of
• 1:39:07
  Speaker 6: us is engaged to be married to anyone.
• 1:39:10
  Speaker 9: It is not a very pleasant position for a young
• 1:39:13
  Speaker 9: girl suddenly to find herself in, is it.
• 1:39:16
  Speaker 6: Let us go into the house. They will hardly venture
• 1:39:19
  Speaker 6: to come after us there.
• 1:39:21
  Speaker 9: No men are so cowardly, aren't they.
• 1:39:25
  Speaker 1: They retire into the house with scornful looks.
• 1:39:28
  Speaker 4: This ghastly state of things is what you call bunbering,
• 1:39:33
  Speaker 4: I suppose.
• 1:39:34
  Speaker 2: Yes, and a perfectly wonderful bunberry. It is the most
• 1:39:38
  Speaker 2: wonderful bunbury I have ever had in my life.
• 1:39:42
  Speaker 4: Well, you have no right whatsoever to bunbury here.
• 1:39:46
  Speaker 2: That is absurd. One has a right to bunbury anywhere
• 1:39:49
  Speaker 2: one chooses. Every serious bunburiest knows.
• 1:39:53
  Speaker 4: That serious bunburriest.
• 1:39:58
  Speaker 2: Oh good heavens, whill one must be serious about something
• 1:40:04
  Speaker 2: if one wants to have any amusement in life. I
• 1:40:07
  Speaker 2: happen to be serious about bunburying. What on earth you
• 1:40:10
  Speaker 2: are serious about? I haven't got the remotest idea about
• 1:40:14
  Speaker 2: everything I should fancy you have such an absolutely trivial nature.
• 1:40:20
  Speaker 4: Well, the only small satisfaction I have in this hale
• 1:40:24
  Speaker 4: of this wretched business is that your friend Bunbury is
• 1:40:28
  Speaker 4: quite exploded. You won't be able to run down to
• 1:40:30
  Speaker 4: the country quite so often as you used to, Dear Algae,
• 1:40:34
  Speaker 4: and a very good thing too.
• 1:40:37
  Speaker 2: Your brother is a little off color, isn't he, Dear Jack.
• 1:40:42
  Speaker 2: You wouldn't be able to disappear to lun quite so
• 1:40:44
  Speaker 2: frequently as your wicked custom was not a bad thing either.
• 1:40:50
  Speaker 4: As for your conduct towards Miss card You, I must
• 1:40:53
  Speaker 4: say that your taking in a sweet, simple, innocent girl
• 1:40:57
  Speaker 4: like that is quite inexcusable. Say nothing of the fact
• 1:41:00
  Speaker 4: that she is my ward.
• 1:41:03
  Speaker 2: I can see no possible defense at all for your
• 1:41:05
  Speaker 2: deceiving a brilliant, clever, thoroughly experienced young lady like Miss Fairfax,
• 1:41:10
  Speaker 2: to say nothing of the fact that she is my cousin.
• 1:41:14
  Speaker 4: I wanted to be engaged to Qwendland, that is all.
• 1:41:17
  Speaker 4: I love her.
• 1:41:20
  Speaker 2: Well, I simply want to be engaged to Cecily. I
• 1:41:23
  Speaker 2: adore her.
• 1:41:25
  Speaker 4: There is certainly no chance of you marrying misscard You.
• 1:41:31
  Speaker 2: I don't think there is much likelihood, Jack of you
• 1:41:34
  Speaker 2: and miss Fairfax being united.
• 1:41:37
  Speaker 4: Well, that is no business of yours.
• 1:41:42
  Speaker 2: If it was my business, I wouldn't talk about it.
• 1:41:45
  Speaker 1: Begins to eat muffins.
• 1:41:47
  Speaker 2: It is very vulgar to talk about one's business. Only
• 1:41:51
  Speaker 2: people like stockbrokers do that, and then merely a dinner parties.
• 1:41:56
  Speaker 4: How you can sit there calmly eating muffins when we
• 1:41:59
  Speaker 4: are in this horrible trouble I can't make out. You
• 1:42:02
  Speaker 4: seem to me to be perfectly heartless.
• 1:42:05
  Speaker 2: Who will? I can't eat muffins in an agitated manner.
• 1:42:09
  Speaker 2: The butter would probably get on my cuffs. One should
• 1:42:12
  Speaker 2: always eat muffins quite calmly. It's the only way to
• 1:42:16
  Speaker 2: eat them.
• 1:42:17
  Speaker 4: I say, it's perfectly heartless. You're eating muffins at all?
• 1:42:21
  Speaker 4: Under the circumstances.
• 1:42:24
  Speaker 2: When I am in trouble, eating is the only thing
• 1:42:26
  Speaker 2: that consoles me. Indeed, we're not even really great trouble,
• 1:42:31
  Speaker 2: as anyone who knows me intimately will tell you. I
• 1:42:34
  Speaker 2: refuse everything except food and drink. At the present moment.
• 1:42:38
  Speaker 2: I am eating muffins because I am unhappy. Besides, I
• 1:42:42
  Speaker 2: am particularly fond of muffins rising.
• 1:42:47
  Speaker 1: Rising.
• 1:42:48
  Speaker 4: Well, that is no reason why should eat them in
• 1:42:52
  Speaker 4: that greedy way.
• 1:42:55
  Speaker 1: Takes muffins from Algernon offering tea cake.
• 1:43:01
  Speaker 2: I wish you would have tea cake instead. I don't
• 1:43:04
  Speaker 2: like tea cake.
• 1:43:05
  Speaker 4: Good heavens. I suppose a man may eat his own
• 1:43:09
  Speaker 4: muffins in his own garden.
• 1:43:12
  Speaker 2: But you have just said that it was perfectly heartless
• 1:43:15
  Speaker 2: to eat muffins.
• 1:43:17
  Speaker 4: I said it was perfectly heartless of you under the circumstances.
• 1:43:22
  Speaker 4: That is a very different thing.
• 1:43:26
  Speaker 2: That may be, but the muffins are the same.
• 1:43:30
  Speaker 1: He seizes the muffin dish from Jack.
• 1:43:33
  Speaker 4: And Jane. I wish to goodness you would go.
• 1:43:38
  Speaker 2: You can't possibly ask me to go without having some dinner.
• 1:43:42
  Speaker 2: It's absurd. I never go without my dinner. No one
• 1:43:46
  Speaker 2: ever does, except vegetarians and people like that. Besides, I
• 1:43:52
  Speaker 2: have just made arrangements with doctor Charsbell to be christened
• 1:43:55
  Speaker 2: at a quarter to six under the name of Ernest.
• 1:43:59
  Speaker 4: My dear. The sooner you give up that nonsense, the better.
• 1:44:04
  Speaker 4: I made arrangements this morning with doctor Chosible to be
• 1:44:07
  Speaker 4: christened myself at five point thirty, and I naturally will
• 1:44:10
  Speaker 4: take the name of Ernest. Gwendolen would wish it we
• 1:44:14
  Speaker 4: can't both be christened earnest. It's absurd. Besides, I have
• 1:44:18
  Speaker 4: a perfect right to be christened if I like. There
• 1:44:20
  Speaker 4: is no evidence at all that I have ever been
• 1:44:23
  Speaker 4: christened by anybody, I should think it extremely probable I
• 1:44:26
  Speaker 4: never was, and so does doctor Chosible. It is entirely
• 1:44:29
  Speaker 4: different in your case. You have been christened already.
• 1:44:35
  Speaker 2: Yes, but I haven't been christened for years.
• 1:44:39
  Speaker 4: Yes, but you have been christened. That is the important thing.
• 1:44:45
  Speaker 2: Quite so, so I know my constitution can stand it.
• 1:44:49
  Speaker 2: If you are not quite sure about your ever having
• 1:44:51
  Speaker 2: been christened, I must say I think it rather dangerous.
• 1:44:55
  Speaker 2: You're venturing on it now. It might make you very unwell.
• 1:45:00
  Speaker 2: You can hardly have forgotten that someone very close connected
• 1:45:03
  Speaker 2: with you was very nearly carried off this week in
• 1:45:07
  Speaker 2: Paris by a severe chill.
• 1:45:10
  Speaker 4: Yes, but you said yourself that a severe chill was
• 1:45:14
  Speaker 4: not hereditary.
• 1:45:16
  Speaker 2: It usedn't to be, I know, but I dare say
• 1:45:19
  Speaker 2: it is now. A science is always making wonderful improvements
• 1:45:23
  Speaker 2: and things.
• 1:45:24
  Speaker 1: Picking up the muffin dish.
• 1:45:26
  Speaker 4: Oh, that is nonsense. You are always talking nonsense.
• 1:45:32
  Speaker 2: Jack, You are at the muffins again. I wish you
• 1:45:36
  Speaker 2: wouldn't There are only two.
• 1:45:38
  Speaker 1: Left takes them.
• 1:45:41
  Speaker 2: I told you I was particularly fond of muffins.
• 1:45:45
  Speaker 4: But I hate tea cake.
• 1:45:48
  Speaker 2: Why on earth, then, do you allow tea cake to
• 1:45:51
  Speaker 2: be served up for your guests? What ideas you have
• 1:45:56
  Speaker 2: of hospitality?
• 1:45:59
  Speaker 4: Algernon? I I've already told you to go. I don't
• 1:46:01
  Speaker 4: want you here. Why don't you go?
• 1:46:05
  Speaker 2: I haven't quite finished my tea yet, and there is
• 1:46:08
  Speaker 2: still one muffin left.
• 1:46:11
  Speaker 1: Jack groans and sinks into a chair. Algernon still continues eating.
• 1:46:19
  Speaker 1: End of second act, third act scene, morning room at
• 1:46:26
  Speaker 1: the manor house. Gwendolen and Cecily are at the window,
• 1:46:29
  Speaker 1: looking out into the garden.
• 1:46:32
  Speaker 6: The fact that they did not follow us at once
• 1:46:34
  Speaker 6: into the house is as anyone else would have done,
• 1:46:37
  Speaker 6: seems to me to show that they have some sense
• 1:46:39
  Speaker 6: of shame left.
• 1:46:41
  Speaker 9: They have been eating muffins that looks like repentance.
• 1:46:45
  Speaker 6: They don't seem to notice us at all. Couldn't you cough?
• 1:46:50
  Speaker 9: But I haven't got a cough.
• 1:46:52
  Speaker 6: They're looking at us.
• 1:46:54
  Speaker 9: What effrontery they're approaching. That's very forward of them.
• 1:47:00
  Speaker 6: Let us preserve a dignified silence.
• 1:47:04
  Speaker 9: Certainly, it's the only thing to do.
• 1:47:06
  Speaker 1: Now, enter Jack, followed by Algernon. They whistle some dreadful
• 1:47:11
  Speaker 1: popular air from a British opera.
• 1:47:13
  Speaker 6: This dignified silence seems to produce an unpleasant effect.
• 1:47:18
  Speaker 9: A most distasteful one.
• 1:47:20
  Speaker 6: But we will not be the first to speak, certainly not,
• 1:47:26
  Speaker 6: mister Worthing. I have something very particular to ask you.
• 1:47:30
  Speaker 6: Much depends on your reply.
• 1:47:33
  Speaker 9: Gwendolen, your common sense is invaluable. Mister Montcrief, kindly answer
• 1:47:39
  Speaker 9: me the following question, Why did you pretend to be
• 1:47:42
  Speaker 9: my guardian's brother in.
• 1:47:45
  Speaker 2: Order that I might have an opportunity of meeting you?
• 1:47:50
  Speaker 9: To Gwendolen, that certainly seems a satisfactory explanation, does it.
• 1:47:55
  Speaker 6: Not, Yes, dear, if you can believe him.
• 1:48:00
  Speaker 9: But that does not affect the wonderful beauty of his answer.
• 1:48:04
  Speaker 4: True.
• 1:48:06
  Speaker 6: In matters of grave importance, style not sincerity is the
• 1:48:10
  Speaker 6: vital thing, mister Worthing. What explanation can you offer to
• 1:48:14
  Speaker 6: me for pretending to have a brother? Was it in
• 1:48:18
  Speaker 6: order that you might have an opportunity of coming up
• 1:48:20
  Speaker 6: to town to see me as often as possible?
• 1:48:23
  Speaker 4: Can you doubt it? Miss Fairfax?
• 1:48:27
  Speaker 6: I have the gravest doubts upon the subject, but I
• 1:48:30
  Speaker 6: intend to crush them. This is not the moment for
• 1:48:33
  Speaker 6: German skepticism. Moving to Cecily, their explanations appear to be
• 1:48:39
  Speaker 6: quite satisfactory, especially mister Worthings. That seems to me to
• 1:48:43
  Speaker 6: have the stumper truth upon it.
• 1:48:46
  Speaker 9: I am more than content with what mister Montcrief said.
• 1:48:50
  Speaker 9: His voice alone inspires one with absolute credulity.
• 1:48:55
  Speaker 6: Then you think we should forgive them? Yes, I mean no, true,
• 1:49:01
  Speaker 6: I had forgotten. There are principles at stake that one
• 1:49:05
  Speaker 6: cannot surrender. Which of us should tell them? The task
• 1:49:08
  Speaker 6: is not a pleasant one?
• 1:49:10
  Speaker 9: Could we not both speak at the same time?
• 1:49:13
  Speaker 6: An excellent idea. I nearly always speak at the same
• 1:49:17
  Speaker 6: time as other people. Will you take the time from me?
• 1:49:20
  Speaker 9: Certainly?
• 1:49:21
  Speaker 1: Gwendolen beads time with uplifted finger.
• 1:49:24
  Speaker 6: Speaking together, your Christian names are still an inseparable burial.
• 1:49:29
  Speaker 9: That is all?
• 1:49:31
  Speaker 1: Speaking together? Is that all?
• 1:49:36
  Speaker 4: But we are going to be christened this afternoon to Jack.
• 1:49:40
  Speaker 6: For my sake, you are prepared to do this terrible
• 1:49:44
  Speaker 6: thing I am to.
• 1:49:46
  Speaker 1: Algernon to please me.
• 1:49:49
  Speaker 9: You are ready to face this fearful ordeal.
• 1:49:52
  Speaker 6: I am how absurd to talk of the equality of
• 1:49:56
  Speaker 6: the sexes where questions of self sacrifice are concerned, the
• 1:50:00
  Speaker 6: men are infinitely beyond us.
• 1:50:03
  Speaker 1: We are clasps hands with Algernon.
• 1:50:06
  Speaker 9: They have moments of physical courage of which we women
• 1:50:09
  Speaker 9: know absolutely nothing.
• 1:50:11
  Speaker 1: To Jack Darling, to Cecily Darling, they fall into each
• 1:50:18
  Speaker 1: other's arms. Enter Merriman. When he enters, he coughs loudly,
• 1:50:23
  Speaker 1: seeing the situation. Lady Bracknell, God heavens, Enter Lady Bracknell.
• 1:50:33
  Speaker 1: The couple separate an alarm except Merriman.
• 1:50:37
  Speaker 5: Gwendolyn, what does this mean?
• 1:50:41
  Speaker 6: Merely that I am engaged to be married to mister Worthing.
• 1:50:44
  Speaker 5: Mamma, come here, sit down, Sit down immediately. Hesitation of
• 1:50:50
  Speaker 5: any kind is a sign of mental decay in the young,
• 1:50:53
  Speaker 5: of physical weakness in the old.
• 1:50:55
  Speaker 1: Turns to Jack.
• 1:50:57
  Speaker 5: Apprized, Sir, of my daughter's sudden flight by her trusty maid,
• 1:51:01
  Speaker 5: whose confidence I purchased by means of a small coin.
• 1:51:04
  Speaker 5: I followed her at once by a luggage train. Her
• 1:51:07
  Speaker 5: unhappy father is I am glad to say, under the
• 1:51:10
  Speaker 5: impression that she is attending a more than usually lengthy
• 1:51:13
  Speaker 5: lecture by the University Extension scheme on the influence of
• 1:51:17
  Speaker 5: a permanent income on thought, but I do not propose
• 1:51:20
  Speaker 5: to undeceive him. Indeed, I have never undeceived him on
• 1:51:23
  Speaker 5: any question. I would consider it wrong. But of course
• 1:51:27
  Speaker 5: you will clearly understand that all communication between yourself and
• 1:51:31
  Speaker 5: my daughter must cease immediately from this moment. On this point,
• 1:51:35
  Speaker 5: as indeed on all points, I am firm.
• 1:51:38
  Speaker 4: I am engaged to be married to Gwendolen. Lady Bracknell, you.
• 1:51:43
  Speaker 5: Are nothing of the kind, sir. And now as regards Algernon, Algernon, Yes,
• 1:51:50
  Speaker 5: Aunt Augusta, may I ask if it is in this
• 1:51:53
  Speaker 5: house that your invalid friend, mister Bunbury resides.
• 1:51:57
  Speaker 2: Ooh, no, Bunbury doesn't live here. Bunbury is somewhere else
• 1:52:05
  Speaker 2: at present. In fact, Bunbury is dead dead. When did
• 1:52:10
  Speaker 2: mister Bunbury die? His death must have been extremely sudden. Oh.
• 1:52:15
  Speaker 2: I killed Bunbury this afternoon. I mean, poor Bunbury died
• 1:52:21
  Speaker 2: this afternoon.
• 1:52:23
  Speaker 5: What did he die?
• 1:52:24
  Speaker 2: Of Bunbury? Oh? He was quite exploded?
• 1:52:28
  Speaker 5: Exploded? Was he the victim of a revolutionary outrage? I
• 1:52:32
  Speaker 5: was not aware that mister Bunbury was interested in social legislation.
• 1:52:36
  Speaker 5: If so, he is well punished for his morbidity.
• 1:52:39
  Speaker 2: My dear aunt Augusta. I mean he was found out.
• 1:52:43
  Speaker 2: The doctors found out that Bunbury could not live. That
• 1:52:48
  Speaker 2: is what I mean. Is so Bunbury died.
• 1:52:53
  Speaker 5: He seems to have had great confidence in the opinion
• 1:52:55
  Speaker 5: of his physicians. I am glad, however, that he has
• 1:52:58
  Speaker 5: made up his mind at the last to some definite
• 1:53:00
  Speaker 5: course of action and acted under proper medical advice. And
• 1:53:04
  Speaker 5: now that we have finally got rid of this mister
• 1:53:06
  Speaker 5: Bungry maya asked mister Worthing, who is that young person
• 1:53:10
  Speaker 5: whose hand my nephew Algernon is now holding in what
• 1:53:13
  Speaker 5: seems to me a particularly unnecessary manner.
• 1:53:18
  Speaker 4: That lady is Miss Cecily. Card you, my ward.
• 1:53:22
  Speaker 1: Lady Bracknell bows coldly to Cecily.
• 1:53:25
  Speaker 2: I am engaged to be married to Cecily. Aunt Augusta.
• 1:53:29
  Speaker 5: I beg your pardon.
• 1:53:31
  Speaker 9: Mister Montcrief, and I are engaged to be married, Lady Bracknell.
• 1:53:36
  Speaker 1: With a shiver, crossing to the sofa and setting down.
• 1:53:39
  Speaker 5: I do not know whether there is anything particularly exciting
• 1:53:42
  Speaker 5: in the air of this particular part of Hertfordshire, but
• 1:53:45
  Speaker 5: the number of engagements that go on seems to me
• 1:53:48
  Speaker 5: considerably above the proper average that statistics have laid down
• 1:53:51
  Speaker 5: for our guidance. I think some preliminary inquiry on my
• 1:53:55
  Speaker 5: part would not be out of place. Mister Worthing, is
• 1:53:59
  Speaker 5: Miss Cardew at all connected with any of the larger
• 1:54:02
  Speaker 5: railway stations in London. I merely desire information. Until yesterday
• 1:54:07
  Speaker 5: I had no idea that there were any families or
• 1:54:09
  Speaker 5: persons whose origin was a terminus.
• 1:54:12
  Speaker 1: Jack looks perfectly furious, but restrains himself.
• 1:54:16
  Speaker 4: Miss Cardiu is the granddaughter of the late mister Thomas
• 1:54:20
  Speaker 4: Cardu of one four nine Belgrave Square, Southwest Jervy's Park, Dorking, Surrey,
• 1:54:26
  Speaker 4: and the sporign feifscher n B.
• 1:54:31
  Speaker 5: That sounds not unsatisfactory. Three addresses always inspire confidence, even
• 1:54:35
  Speaker 5: in tradesmen. But what proof have I of their authenticity?
• 1:54:40
  Speaker 4: I have carefully preserved the court guides of the period.
• 1:54:43
  Speaker 4: They are open to your inspection, Lady Bracknell.
• 1:54:46
  Speaker 5: I have known strange errors in that publication.
• 1:54:50
  Speaker 4: Miss Cardhu's family solicitors are monsieurs Markby, Markby and Markby.
• 1:54:57
  Speaker 5: Mark By, Markby and Markby, a firm of the very
• 1:55:00
  Speaker 5: highest position in their profession. Indeed, I am told that
• 1:55:03
  Speaker 5: one of the mister Markby's is occasionally to be seen
• 1:55:05
  Speaker 5: at dinner parties. So far I am satisfied.
• 1:55:10
  Speaker 4: How extremely kind of you, Lady Bracknell. I have also
• 1:55:15
  Speaker 4: in my position, you will be pleased to hear certificate
• 1:55:18
  Speaker 4: of Miss Cardu's birth, baptism, whooping cough registration, vaccination confirmation,
• 1:55:24
  Speaker 4: and the measles, both the German and the English variety.
• 1:55:29
  Speaker 5: Ah a life crowded with incident, I see, though perhaps
• 1:55:33
  Speaker 5: somewhat too exciting for a young girl. I am not
• 1:55:37
  Speaker 5: myself in favor of premature experiences.
• 1:55:41
  Speaker 1: Rise's looks at her watch Gwendolen.
• 1:55:44
  Speaker 5: The time approaches for our departure. We have not a
• 1:55:47
  Speaker 5: moment to lose. As a matter of for mister Worthing,
• 1:55:50
  Speaker 5: had I better ask you if miss Cardu has any
• 1:55:52
  Speaker 5: little fortune.
• 1:55:55
  Speaker 4: About one hundred and thirty thousand pounds US in the funds.
• 1:56:03
  Speaker 4: That is all. Good bye, Lady Bracknow so pleased to
• 1:56:05
  Speaker 4: have seen you sitting down again.
• 1:56:09
  Speaker 5: A moment Mister Worthing a hundred and thirty thousand pounds
• 1:56:14
  Speaker 5: and in the funds. Miss card seems to me a
• 1:56:18
  Speaker 5: most attractive young lady, now that I look at her,
• 1:56:21
  Speaker 5: few girls of the present day have any really solid qualities,
• 1:56:24
  Speaker 5: any of the qualities that last and improve with time
• 1:56:28
  Speaker 5: we live. I regret to say, in an age of surfaces,
• 1:56:32
  Speaker 5: to Cecily, come over.
• 1:56:34
  Speaker 1: Here, Dear Cicely goes across.
• 1:56:38
  Speaker 5: Pretty child. Your dress is sadly simple, and your hair
• 1:56:41
  Speaker 5: seems almost as nature might have left it. But we
• 1:56:44
  Speaker 5: can soon alter all that. A thoroughly experienced French maid
• 1:56:48
  Speaker 5: produces a really marvelous result in a very brief space
• 1:56:52
  Speaker 5: of time. I remember recommending one to young lady Lansing,
• 1:56:56
  Speaker 5: and after three months her own husband did not know her.
• 1:57:00
  Speaker 4: And after six months nobody knew her.
• 1:57:05
  Speaker 1: Glare's at Jack for a few moments, then Ben's with
• 1:57:07
  Speaker 1: a practiced smile to Cecily.
• 1:57:10
  Speaker 5: Kindly, turn around, sweet child.
• 1:57:12
  Speaker 1: Cecily turns completely round.
• 1:57:14
  Speaker 5: No, the side view is what I want.
• 1:57:17
  Speaker 1: Cecily presents her profile.
• 1:57:19
  Speaker 5: Yes, quite as I expected. There are distinct social possibilities
• 1:57:23
  Speaker 5: in your profile. The two week points in our age
• 1:57:27
  Speaker 5: are its want of principle and its want of profile.
• 1:57:30
  Speaker 5: The chin a little higher, dear, style largely depends on
• 1:57:34
  Speaker 5: the way the chin is worn. They are worn very
• 1:57:36
  Speaker 5: high just at present.
• 1:57:38
  Speaker 2: Aldronon Yes, Aunt Augusta.
• 1:57:41
  Speaker 5: There are distinct social possibilities in miss Carter's profile.
• 1:57:45
  Speaker 2: Cecily is the sweetest, dearest, prettiest girl in the whole world.
• 1:57:52
  Speaker 2: And I don't care two pens about social possibilities.
• 1:57:57
  Speaker 5: Never speak disrespectfully of society, Algernon. Only people who can't
• 1:58:02
  Speaker 5: get into it. Do that to Cecily, dear child. Of course,
• 1:58:07
  Speaker 5: you know that Algernon has nothing but his debts to
• 1:58:09
  Speaker 5: depend on. But I do not approve of mercenary marriages.
• 1:58:13
  Speaker 5: When I married Lord Bracknell, I had no fortune of
• 1:58:16
  Speaker 5: any kind, but I never dreamed for a moment of
• 1:58:19
  Speaker 5: allowing that to stand in my way. Well, I suppose
• 1:58:22
  Speaker 5: I must give my consent.
• 1:58:24
  Speaker 2: Thank you, Aunt Augusta.
• 1:58:26
  Speaker 5: Cecily, you may kiss me kisses her.
• 1:58:30
  Speaker 9: Thank you, Lady Bracknell.
• 1:58:32
  Speaker 5: You may also address me as Aunt Augusta. For the future,
• 1:58:35
  Speaker 5: Thank you, Aunt Augusta. The marriage I think had better
• 1:58:39
  Speaker 5: take place quite soon.
• 1:58:41
  Speaker 2: Thank you, Aunt Augusta.
• 1:58:43
  Speaker 9: Thank you, Aunt Augusta.
• 1:58:46
  Speaker 5: To speak frankly, I am not in favor of long engagements.
• 1:58:49
  Speaker 5: They give people the opportunity of finding out each other's
• 1:58:52
  Speaker 5: character before marriage, which I think is never advisable.
• 1:58:56
  Speaker 4: I beg your pardon for interrupting you, Lady Bracknell, But
• 1:59:00
  Speaker 4: this engagement is quite out of the question. I am
• 1:59:03
  Speaker 4: Miscardu's guardian, and she cannot marry without my consent until
• 1:59:08
  Speaker 4: she comes of age. That consent I absolutely decline to give.
• 1:59:14
  Speaker 5: Upon what grounds may I ask? Algernon is an extremely
• 1:59:18
  Speaker 5: and may I say, an ostentatiously eligible young man. He
• 1:59:22
  Speaker 5: has nothing, but he looks everything. What more can one desire?
• 1:59:28
  Speaker 4: It pains me very much to have to speak frankly
• 1:59:31
  Speaker 4: to you, Lady Bracknell, about your nephew. But the fact
• 1:59:36
  Speaker 4: is I do not approve at all of his moral character.
• 1:59:40
  Speaker 4: I suspect him of being.
• 1:59:42
  Speaker 1: Untruthful Algernon, and cicely look at him in indignant amazement.
• 1:59:49
  Speaker 5: Untruthful, my nephew, Algernon impossible. He is an Oxonian.
• 1:59:55
  Speaker 4: I fear there can be no possible doubt about the matter.
• 1:59:58
  Speaker 4: This afternoon, during my temper absence in London on an
• 2:00:01
  Speaker 4: important question of romance, he obtained admission to my house
• 2:00:05
  Speaker 4: by means of a false pretense of being my brother
• 2:00:08
  Speaker 4: under an assumed name. He drank. I just been informed
• 2:00:13
  Speaker 4: by my butler in entire pint a bottle of Perrier
• 2:00:16
  Speaker 4: Joue Brew eighty nine wine, I was specifically reserving for myself.
• 2:00:22
  Speaker 4: Continuing his disgraceful deception, he succeeded in the course of
• 2:00:26
  Speaker 4: the afternoon in alienating the affections of my only ward.
• 2:00:30
  Speaker 4: He subsequently stated tea and devoured every single muffin. And
• 2:00:36
  Speaker 4: what makes his conduct all the more heartless is that
• 2:00:40
  Speaker 4: he was perfectly well aware from the first that I
• 2:00:43
  Speaker 4: have no brother, that I never had a brother, and
• 2:00:46
  Speaker 4: that I don't intend to have a brother, not even
• 2:00:48
  Speaker 4: of any kind. I distinctly told him so myself yesterday afternoon.
• 2:00:55
  Speaker 5: Hum, mister Worthing. After careful consideration, I have decided entirely
• 2:00:59
  Speaker 5: to overlook my nephew's conduct to you.
• 2:01:02
  Speaker 4: Oh, that is very generous of you, Lady Bracknell. My
• 2:01:05
  Speaker 4: own decision, however, is unalterable. I decline to give my
• 2:01:11
  Speaker 4: consent to Cecily.
• 2:01:14
  Speaker 5: Come here, sweet child.
• 2:01:16
  Speaker 1: Cecily goes over.
• 2:01:18
  Speaker 5: How old are you, dear?
• 2:01:21
  Speaker 9: Well, I am really only eighteen, but I always admit
• 2:01:25
  Speaker 9: to twenty when I go to evening parties.
• 2:01:28
  Speaker 5: You are perfectly right in making some slight alteration. Indeed,
• 2:01:32
  Speaker 5: no woman should ever be quite accurate about her age.
• 2:01:35
  Speaker 5: It looks so calculating eighteen, but admitting to twentieth evening
• 2:01:40
  Speaker 5: parties will, it will not be very long before you
• 2:01:43
  Speaker 5: are of age and free from the restraints of tutelage.
• 2:01:46
  Speaker 5: So I don't think your guardian's consent is after all
• 2:01:48
  Speaker 5: a matter of any importance.
• 2:01:51
  Speaker 4: Pray excuse me, Lady Bracknell, for interrupting you again, but
• 2:01:56
  Speaker 4: it is only fair to tell you that, according to
• 2:01:58
  Speaker 4: the terms of her grand will miscaard you, does not
• 2:02:02
  Speaker 4: legally come of age until she is thirty five.
• 2:02:07
  Speaker 5: That does not seem to me to be a grave objection.
• 2:02:10
  Speaker 5: Thirty five is a very attractive age. London society is
• 2:02:14
  Speaker 5: full of women of the very highest birth who have,
• 2:02:16
  Speaker 5: of their own free choice, remained thirty five for years.
• 2:02:21
  Speaker 5: Lady Dumbleton is an instance in point, to my own knowledge,
• 2:02:24
  Speaker 5: she has been thirty five ever since she arrived at
• 2:02:27
  Speaker 5: the age of forty, which was many years ago. Now
• 2:02:30
  Speaker 5: I see no reason why our dear Cecily should not
• 2:02:33
  Speaker 5: be even still more attractive at the age you mentioned
• 2:02:35
  Speaker 5: than she is at present. There will be a large
• 2:02:37
  Speaker 5: accumulation of property algae.
• 2:02:40
  Speaker 9: Could you wait for me till I was thirty five?
• 2:02:43
  Speaker 2: Of course, I could, Cecily, you know I could.
• 2:02:48
  Speaker 9: Yes, I felt it instinctively, but I couldn't wait all
• 2:02:52
  Speaker 9: that time. I hate waiting even five minutes for anybody.
• 2:02:55
  Speaker 9: It always makes me rather cross. I am not punctual myself,
• 2:03:00
  Speaker 9: I know, but I do like punctuality in others. And
• 2:03:03
  Speaker 9: waiting even to be married is quite out of the question.
• 2:03:08
  Speaker 2: Then what is to be done, Cecily.
• 2:03:11
  Speaker 9: I don't know, mister Moncrief.
• 2:03:13
  Speaker 5: My dear mister Worthing, as Miss Curdus states positively that
• 2:03:16
  Speaker 5: she cannot wait till she is thirty five, a remark
• 2:03:19
  Speaker 5: which I am bound to say, seems to me to
• 2:03:21
  Speaker 5: show us somewhat impatient nature. I would beg of you
• 2:03:24
  Speaker 5: to reconsider your decision.
• 2:03:26
  Speaker 4: But my dear Lady Bracknell, the matter is entirely in
• 2:03:30
  Speaker 4: your own hands. The moment you consent to my marriage
• 2:03:34
  Speaker 4: with Gwendolen, I will gladly allow your nephew to form
• 2:03:38
  Speaker 4: an alliance.
• 2:03:38
  Speaker 1: With my ward rising and drawing herself up.
• 2:03:42
  Speaker 5: You must be quite aware that what you propose is
• 2:03:44
  Speaker 5: out of the question.
• 2:03:47
  Speaker 4: Then a passionate celibacy is all that any of us
• 2:03:50
  Speaker 4: can look forward to.
• 2:03:52
  Speaker 5: That is not the destiny I propose for Gwendolen. Algernon,
• 2:03:56
  Speaker 5: of course, can choose for himself.
• 2:03:58
  Speaker 1: Pulls out her watch. Come, dear Gwendolen rises.
• 2:04:03
  Speaker 5: We have already missed five, if not six, trains. To
• 2:04:07
  Speaker 5: miss any more might expose us to comment on the platform.
• 2:04:11
  Speaker 1: Entered Doctor Charlesible.
• 2:04:13
  Speaker 10: Everything is quite ready for the christenings.
• 2:04:16
  Speaker 5: The christenings, sir? Is that not somewhat premature?
• 2:04:20
  Speaker 1: Looking rather puzzled and pointing to Jack and Algernon.
• 2:04:24
  Speaker 10: Both these gentlemen have expressed a desire for immediate.
• 2:04:26
  Speaker 5: Baptism at their age. The idea is gross and irreligious, Algernon,
• 2:04:33
  Speaker 5: I forbid you to be baptized. I will not hear
• 2:04:35
  Speaker 5: of such excesses. Lord Bracknell would be highly displeased if
• 2:04:39
  Speaker 5: he learned that that was the way in which you
• 2:04:41
  Speaker 5: wasted your time and money?
• 2:04:43
  Speaker 10: Am I to understand then that there are to be
• 2:04:46
  Speaker 10: no Christenings at all this afternoon?
• 2:04:49
  Speaker 4: I don't think that, as things are now, it would
• 2:04:53
  Speaker 4: be of much practical use to either of us, Doctor Chosible, I.
• 2:04:57
  Speaker 10: Am grieved to hear such sentiments from mister Worthing the
• 2:05:02
  Speaker 10: savor of the heretical views of the Anabaptists, views that
• 2:05:06
  Speaker 10: I have completely refuted in four of my unpublished sermons. However,
• 2:05:12
  Speaker 10: as your present mood seems to be one particularly secular,
• 2:05:17
  Speaker 10: I will return to the church at once. Indeed, I
• 2:05:20
  Speaker 10: have just been informed by the pew opener that for
• 2:05:23
  Speaker 10: the last hour and a half Miss Prism has been
• 2:05:25
  Speaker 10: waiting for me in the vestry starting Miss Prism.
• 2:05:30
  Speaker 5: Did I hear you mention a Miss Prism?
• 2:05:33
  Speaker 10: Yes, Lady Wagnell, I'm on my way to join her.
• 2:05:37
  Speaker 5: Allow me to detain you for a moment. This matter
• 2:05:40
  Speaker 5: may prove to be one of vital importance to Lord
• 2:05:42
  Speaker 5: Bracknell and myself. Is this Miss Prism a female of
• 2:05:46
  Speaker 5: repellent aspect remotely connected with education?
• 2:05:50
  Speaker 10: She is the most cultivated of ladies and the very
• 2:05:53
  Speaker 10: picture of respectability.
• 2:05:55
  Speaker 5: It is obviously the same person. May I ask what
• 2:05:58
  Speaker 5: position she holds in your house?
• 2:06:01
  Speaker 10: I am a.
• 2:06:01
  Speaker 1: Sellimant madam interposing Miss Prism.
• 2:06:07
  Speaker 4: Lady Bracknell has been for the last three years, Miss
• 2:06:12
  Speaker 4: card who's esteemed governess and valued companion.
• 2:06:17
  Speaker 5: In spite of what I hear of her, I must
• 2:06:19
  Speaker 5: see her at once. Let her be sent for looking
• 2:06:22
  Speaker 5: off she preaches, she is not enter.
• 2:06:27
  Speaker 1: Miss Prism hurriedly I will.
• 2:06:29
  Speaker 8: Told you expected me. The vest Ratia Canon. I've been
• 2:06:32
  Speaker 8: waiting for you there for an hour and three quarters.
• 2:06:35
  Speaker 1: Catches sight of Lady Bracknell, who has fixed her with
• 2:06:38
  Speaker 1: a stony glare. Miss Prism grows pale and quails. She
• 2:06:42
  Speaker 1: looks anxiously round, as if desirous to escape Prism. Miss
• 2:06:47
  Speaker 1: Prism bows her head in shame.
• 2:06:50
  Speaker 5: Come here, Prism.
• 2:06:51
  Speaker 1: Miss Prism approaches in a humble.
• 2:06:53
  Speaker 5: Manner, Prism, where is that baby?
• 2:06:57
  Speaker 1: General consternation. The Canons are back in horror. Algernon and
• 2:07:02
  Speaker 1: Jack pretend to be anxious to shield Cecily and Gwendolen
• 2:07:06
  Speaker 1: from hearing the details of a terrible public scandal.
• 2:07:09
  Speaker 5: Twenty eight years ago. Prism, you left Lord Bracknell's house,
• 2:07:13
  Speaker 5: number one oh four Upper Grosvenor Street, in charge of
• 2:07:16
  Speaker 5: a perambulator that contained a baby of the male sex.
• 2:07:19
  Speaker 5: You never returned. A few weeks later, through the elaborate
• 2:07:24
  Speaker 5: investigations of the Metropolitan Police, the perambulator was discovered at midnight,
• 2:07:28
  Speaker 5: standing by itself in a remote corner of Bayswater. It
• 2:07:32
  Speaker 5: contained the manuscript of a three volume novel of more
• 2:07:35
  Speaker 5: than usually revolting sentimentality.
• 2:07:38
  Speaker 1: Miss Prism starts in involuntary indignation.
• 2:07:41
  Speaker 5: But the baby was not there.
• 2:07:44
  Speaker 1: Everyone looks at miss Prism.
• 2:07:46
  Speaker 5: Prism, where is that baby?
• 2:07:50
  Speaker 8: A pause, Lady Bracknell, I admit with shame that I
• 2:07:55
  Speaker 8: do not know. I only wish I did. The plain
• 2:07:59
  Speaker 8: fact of the case are these On the morning of
• 2:08:02
  Speaker 8: the day you mention, a day that is forever branded
• 2:08:06
  Speaker 8: on my memory, I prepared, as usual to take the
• 2:08:09
  Speaker 8: baby out in its perambulator. I had also with me
• 2:08:12
  Speaker 8: somewhat old but capacious handbag in which I had intended
• 2:08:16
  Speaker 8: to place the manuscript of a work of fiction that
• 2:08:19
  Speaker 8: I had written during my few unoccupied hours. In a
• 2:08:23
  Speaker 8: moment of mental abstraction for which I can never forgive myself,
• 2:08:26
  Speaker 8: I deposited the manuscript in the bassinet and placed the
• 2:08:29
  Speaker 8: baby in the hand bag.
• 2:08:31
  Speaker 1: Who has been listening attentively.
• 2:08:33
  Speaker 4: But where did you deposit the hand bag?
• 2:08:38
  Speaker 8: Do not ask me, mister Worthing.
• 2:08:41
  Speaker 4: Miss Prism, This is a matter of no small importance
• 2:08:46
  Speaker 4: to me. I insist on knowing where you deposited the
• 2:08:48
  Speaker 4: hand bag that contained that infant.
• 2:08:51
  Speaker 8: I left it in the cloak room of one of
• 2:08:53
  Speaker 8: the larger railway stations of London.
• 2:08:55
  Speaker 4: What railway station quite crushed.
• 2:09:01
  Speaker 8: Victoria is the brighton line.
• 2:09:05
  Speaker 1: Sinks into a chair.
• 2:09:07
  Speaker 4: Oh, I must retire to my room for a moment. Quinlon,
• 2:09:11
  Speaker 4: wait here for me.
• 2:09:13
  Speaker 6: If you are not too long, I will wait here
• 2:09:16
  Speaker 6: for you all my life.
• 2:09:19
  Speaker 1: Exit Jack in great excitement.
• 2:09:22
  Speaker 5: What do you think this means, Lady Blacknell, I dare
• 2:09:26
  Speaker 5: not even suspect, Doctor Chazybell, I need hardly tell you
• 2:09:30
  Speaker 5: that in families of high position, strange coincidences are not
• 2:09:34
  Speaker 5: supposed to occur. They are hardly considered.
• 2:09:36
  Speaker 1: The thing noise is heard overhead, as if someone were
• 2:09:40
  Speaker 1: throwing trunks about. Everyone looks up.
• 2:09:44
  Speaker 9: Uncle Jack seems strangely agitated.
• 2:09:47
  Speaker 10: Your guardian has a very emotional nature.
• 2:09:50
  Speaker 5: This noise is extremely unpleasant. It sounds as if he
• 2:09:54
  Speaker 5: was having an argument. I dislike arguments of any kind.
• 2:09:57
  Speaker 5: They are always vulgar and often convincing.
• 2:10:00
  Speaker 1: Looking up, it has stopped. Now, the noises redoubled.
• 2:10:05
  Speaker 5: I wish you would arrive at some conclusion.
• 2:10:08
  Speaker 6: This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.
• 2:10:13
  Speaker 1: Entered Jack with a hand bag of black leather in
• 2:10:15
  Speaker 1: his hand, rushing over to miss prism.
• 2:10:19
  Speaker 4: Is this the handbag in this prism? Examine it? Carefully
• 2:10:21
  Speaker 4: before you speak. The happiness of more than one life
• 2:10:23
  Speaker 4: depends on your answer.
• 2:10:26
  Speaker 8: It seems to be mine.
• 2:10:27
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 2:10:28
  Speaker 8: Here is the injuried received through the upsetting of a
• 2:10:31
  Speaker 8: gower street omnibus in younger and happier days. Here is
• 2:10:35
  Speaker 8: the stain on the lining caused by the explosion of
• 2:10:38
  Speaker 8: a temperance beverage, an incident that occurred at Leamington. And
• 2:10:43
  Speaker 8: here on the lock are my initials. I had forgotten that,
• 2:10:47
  Speaker 8: in an extravagant mood, I had had them placed there.
• 2:10:50
  Speaker 8: The bag is undoubtedly mine. I am delighted to have
• 2:10:53
  Speaker 8: it so unexpectedly restored to me. It has been a
• 2:10:57
  Speaker 8: great inconvenience being without it in all these years.
• 2:11:00
  Speaker 4: Is this prison more is restored to you than this handbag?
• 2:11:05
  Speaker 4: I was the baby you placed it.
• 2:11:09
  Speaker 1: You embracing her. Yes, mother, recoiling in indignant astonishment, mister Worthing.
• 2:11:19
  Speaker 2: I'm unmarried.
• 2:11:21
  Speaker 4: Unmarried, I do not deny that is a serious blow.
• 2:11:26
  Speaker 4: But after all, who has the right to cast a
• 2:11:29
  Speaker 4: stone against one who has suffered? Cannot repentance wipe out
• 2:11:33
  Speaker 4: an act of folly? Why should there be one law
• 2:11:35
  Speaker 4: for men in another for women? Mother?
• 2:11:38
  Speaker 1: I forgive you tries to embrace her again, still more indignant.
• 2:11:45
  Speaker 8: Mister Worthing, there is some.
• 2:11:46
  Speaker 1: Error, pointing to Lady Bracknall.
• 2:11:49
  Speaker 8: There is the lady who can tell you who you
• 2:11:51
  Speaker 8: really are.
• 2:11:53
  Speaker 4: After a pause, Lady Bracknell, I hate to seem inquisitive,
• 2:12:05
  Speaker 4: but would you kindly inform me who I am?
• 2:12:09
  Speaker 5: I am afraid that the news I have to give
• 2:12:11
  Speaker 5: you will not altogether please you. You are the son of
• 2:12:15
  Speaker 5: my poor sister, missus Moncrief, and consequently Algernon's elder.
• 2:12:20
  Speaker 4: Brother, Algae's elder brother. Then I have a brother. After all,
• 2:12:31
  Speaker 4: I knew I had a brother. I always said I
• 2:12:34
  Speaker 4: had a brother. Cetely, how could you have ever doubted
• 2:12:37
  Speaker 4: that I had a brother?
• 2:12:38
  Speaker 1: Seize his hold of Algernon, Doctor.
• 2:12:40
  Speaker 4: Chosible, my unfortunate brother, Miss Prism, my unfortunate brother. Gwendolin,
• 2:12:45
  Speaker 4: my unfortunate brother Algae, You young scoundrel. You will have
• 2:12:49
  Speaker 4: to treat me with more respect in the future. You
• 2:12:51
  Speaker 4: have never behaved to me like a brother in all your.
• 2:12:55
  Speaker 2: Life, well not till today, old boy. I admit I
• 2:13:00
  Speaker 2: did my best, however, though I was out of practice.
• 2:13:03
  Speaker 1: Shakes hands to jack my own.
• 2:13:08
  Speaker 6: But what own are you, what is your Christian name?
• 2:13:12
  Speaker 6: Now that you have become someone else?
• 2:13:16
  Speaker 4: Good heavens, I'd quite forgotten that point. Your decision on
• 2:13:21
  Speaker 4: the subject of my name is irrevocable.
• 2:13:23
  Speaker 6: I suppose I never changed except to my affections.
• 2:13:29
  Speaker 9: What a noble nature you have, Gwendolen.
• 2:13:32
  Speaker 4: Then the question had better be cleared up at once,
• 2:13:35
  Speaker 4: Aunt Augusta a moment at the time when miss prison
• 2:13:38
  Speaker 4: left me in the handbag? Had I been christened? Already?
• 2:13:42
  Speaker 5: Every luxury that money could buy, including christening, had been
• 2:13:46
  Speaker 5: lavished on you by your fond and dirting parents.
• 2:13:49
  Speaker 4: Then I was christened. That is settled. Now what name
• 2:13:55
  Speaker 4: was I given? Let me know the worst, being.
• 2:13:58
  Speaker 5: The eldest son, you were naturally christened after your father?
• 2:14:02
  Speaker 4: Yes, but what was my father's Christian name?
• 2:14:06
  Speaker 5: I cannot at the present moment recall what the general's
• 2:14:09
  Speaker 5: Christian name was, but I have no doubt he had one.
• 2:14:12
  Speaker 5: He was eccentric, I admit, but only in later years,
• 2:14:16
  Speaker 5: and that was the result of the Indian climate and
• 2:14:18
  Speaker 5: marriage and indigestion and other things of that kind.
• 2:14:22
  Speaker 4: Algie, can't you recollect what our father's Christian name was?
• 2:14:27
  Speaker 2: My dear boy, we were never even on speaking terms.
• 2:14:31
  Speaker 2: He died before I was a year old.
• 2:14:34
  Speaker 4: His name would appear on the army lists of the
• 2:14:35
  Speaker 4: period I suppose on AUGUSTA.
• 2:14:38
  Speaker 5: The general was essentially a man of peace, except in
• 2:14:40
  Speaker 5: his domestic life. But I have no doubt his name
• 2:14:43
  Speaker 5: would appear in any military directory, the.
• 2:14:46
  Speaker 4: Army list of the last forty years. I hear these
• 2:14:48
  Speaker 4: delightful records should have been my constant study.
• 2:14:52
  Speaker 1: Rushes to bookcase and tears the books out.
• 2:14:56
  Speaker 4: M General's Madam Maximell Magley, What castling names they have
• 2:15:03
  Speaker 4: mark by mixed mes Moncrief lieutenant eighteen forty, captain, lieutenant, colonel,
• 2:15:08
  Speaker 4: colonel generally eighteen sixty nine, Christian names.
• 2:15:13
  Speaker 1: Ernest John puts book very quietly down and speaks quite calmly.
• 2:15:18
  Speaker 4: I have always told you, Gwendolyn, my name was Ernest. No, well,
• 2:15:22
  Speaker 4: it is Ernest after all, I mean, it naturally is Ernest.
• 2:15:29
  Speaker 5: Yes, I remember now that the general was called Ernest.
• 2:15:32
  Speaker 5: I knew I had some particular reason for disliking the name.
• 2:15:36
  Speaker 6: Ernest, my own Earnest. I felt from the first that
• 2:15:42
  Speaker 6: you could have no.
• 2:15:43
  Speaker 4: Other name, Gwendolen. It is a terrible thing for a
• 2:15:48
  Speaker 4: man to find out suddenly that all his life he
• 2:15:51
  Speaker 4: has been speaking nothing but the truth. Can you forgive me?
• 2:15:56
  Speaker 6: I can, for I feel that you are sure to change.
• 2:16:02
  Speaker 1: My own one to miss prism.
• 2:16:06
  Speaker 8: Letitia embraces her, Frederick at last.
• 2:16:13
  Speaker 1: Hessanly embraces her at last. Gwendolen embraces her.
• 2:16:22
  Speaker 5: At last, My nephew, you seem to be displaying signs
• 2:16:26
  Speaker 5: of triviality.
• 2:16:27
  Speaker 4: On the contrary, Aunt Augusta, I have now realized for
• 2:16:31
  Speaker 4: the first time in my life the vital importance of
• 2:16:37
  Speaker 4: being earnest.
• 2:16:40
  Speaker 1: End of the third Act. End of the Importance of
• 2:16:44
  Speaker 1: Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde