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Why Are Narcissists So Mean When They Discard You? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  So y'all, why are narcissists so cold and callous and heartless
• 0:07
  during the discard? Like when they finally decide to
• 0:10
  discard you and end the relationship, why can't they
• 0:14
  just do it with any kind of like niceness and just be like
• 0:18
  amicable? Why?
• 0:19
  Why do they have to be so damn evil at the end?
• 0:23
  That's what we're talking about today, yo.
• 0:24
  That's what that's what we're covering today.
• 0:27
  If y'all new here, I'm Lee Hammock.
• 0:29
  I'm a diagnosed narcissist and I just break down the thoughts and
• 0:32
  the inner workings of the mind of a narcissist and that's where
• 0:35
  we're hopping in today. Y'all like seriously
• 0:38
  narcissistic people are so cold during the end, like doing the
• 0:43
  discard phase. Why can't they just be humans,
• 0:46
  right? Why can't they just meet you in
• 0:48
  the middle? Just be somewhat nice to you
• 0:51
  when did when a discard happens? Why do they have to be so damn
• 0:55
  dark and evil and cold? Well, one of the main reasons
• 0:58
  why is because they have to make sure that they are making the
• 1:02
  right decisions to themselves. And I know that sounds stupid.
• 1:08
  I know that it sounds totally ignorant.
• 1:11
  I know it sounds ridiculous. I Yeah, when I tell y'all, I
• 1:14
  understand it. Believe me that I understand how
• 1:16
  stupid it sounds, right? I get it.
• 1:18
  I really, truly do. But that's how of the minds of a
• 1:21
  lot of narcissists work right there.
• 1:24
  They really think that because they are doing this type of
• 1:27
  stuff, because they behave in a certain type of way, right?
• 1:29
  They really think that they want to make sure that they're doing
• 1:33
  the right thing. They have to make sure that you
• 1:35
  are destroyed and that you are broken.
• 1:37
  So in my mind, I can justify breaking up with you.
• 1:41
  You know what I mean? I can justify getting rid of you
• 1:44
  because you're like this, because you're so sad and you're
• 1:47
  so hurt. I can justify everything that
• 1:50
  I'm doing. Does that make sense?
• 1:53
  Like in the mind of a narcissist, I have to treat you
• 1:55
  badly to make sure to myself that I am doing the right thing.
• 2:02
  And I know to people that sounds stupid.
• 2:04
  I know it's I know it sounds ignorant.
• 2:06
  I know it sounds foolish, but that really is how a lot of
• 2:09
  narcissist minds work, right? We are conflicted beings inside
• 2:14
  of our minds, inside of our heads.
• 2:16
  And I, I, I think a lot of people already know that.
• 2:18
  I think well, Lee, you have to say that I knew, I knew
• 2:21
  narcissist are conflicted. They are like the narcissist I
• 2:24
  was with was the most conflicted person I've ever met in my life.
• 2:27
  And I was just, and that's going to happen a lot of times, right?
• 2:30
  They're going to be super conflicted.
• 2:32
  They'll be conflicted as hell, right?
• 2:34
  So at the end, regardless of how the relationship has gone with
• 2:38
  you, regardless of how things have went, regardless of how you
• 2:43
  have treated you have treated this person, if they've treated
• 2:45
  you regardless, they're going to have to make sure that you are
• 2:49
  broken at the end to verify to themselves that they are making
• 2:52
  the right decision. Like so in my mind, if I see you
• 2:55
  begging and pleading and crying and you're hurting beyond
• 2:59
  nature, in my mind, I'm like, OK, this is a broken person.
• 3:05
  So I can't be with this broken person.
• 3:07
  I need to be with somebody that's better.
• 3:09
  So you're broken so I can't fix you.
• 3:12
  So I need it justified me. It justifies me going and
• 3:15
  finding a new supply. It justifies me going and
• 3:18
  finding a new partner and whatnot.
• 3:20
  That is this how it works in some the mind of some
• 3:23
  narcissists, not all notice I said not all.
• 3:27
  Some narcissists. This is how they justify in
• 3:31
  their minds by leaving you broken, right?
• 3:35
  And this is where it goes. And like some narcissistic
• 3:38
  people and like this is another reason why I hear y'all, some
• 3:40
  narcissists like to be super cold and callous and so
• 3:44
  calculated at the end is because they want you to think that
• 3:48
  they're that this is it right here, that they're never going
• 3:51
  to come back to you, that this is the final, this is final.
• 3:55
  Like I want you to see that I'm being so evil to you right now
• 3:59
  that you should not come back to me.
• 4:03
  I want you to be done right. I want you to be done with me.
• 4:09
  I don't need to leave. It's kind of like leave.
• 4:11
  It's kind of like you go UN alive a bunch of people.
• 4:13
  You don't want to leave any witnesses.
• 4:15
  You're the witness right here of this relationship.
• 4:17
  So I need to emotionally UN alive you so I can be able to
• 4:21
  move on with myself, so I can justify moving on so I can
• 4:25
  justify the stuff that I've been doing is I can justify how I've
• 4:28
  been behaving, how I've been treated.
• 4:30
  I can justify all of this stuff because of how it goes right?
• 4:34
  I know y'all see the the stuff love brand, I'm good, I love me,
• 4:37
  I'm good. You find that mental
• 4:40
  illness.net, everything is a mental illness.net.
• 4:43
  But is it they really want to leave you emotionally broken,
• 4:47
  right? So you won't try to come back to
• 4:49
  them. That's what goes on right there.
• 4:52
  So you won't try to come back to me.
• 4:54
  I need to leave you emotionally broken.
• 4:57
  And I know it sounds stupid like, well, how that's dumb.
• 5:00
  Why do they think like this? I wish I could explain why
• 5:04
  narcissists, a lot of narcissists think the way that
• 5:06
  we think. But sometimes it really is just
• 5:08
  deeply embedded in our brains and we behave this way.
• 5:11
  We think this way because it's so deeply embedded in US that
• 5:14
  this is just us, right? This is truly just us.
• 5:18
  It's so deeply embedded in us that this is really how we
• 5:22
  behave. This is really how we are active
• 5:24
  really, really how we are activated, right.
• 5:26
  This is really how our minds work.
• 5:29
  And one of the most is this right here might blow your mind
• 5:35
  a little bit. Another reason why they want to
• 5:37
  leave you broken is because, drum roll please is because they
• 5:45
  want you to be broken so they can come back later on.
• 5:50
  They want you to be so broken that you take so long to heal
• 5:54
  that if whatever I'm doing, the person I'm leaving for or the
• 5:58
  person, the people that I'm leaving for or whatever, I'm
• 6:00
  leaving you for, whatever the relationship is ending for.
• 6:03
  If that doesn't work out for me, you'll still be healing so I can
• 6:09
  come back later on. If it takes you a long time to
• 6:12
  heal because I left you so broken I did you so dirty, then
• 6:17
  I like I said then I might have a chance of hoovering you or
• 6:20
  coming back into the relationship later on.
• 6:23
  I know that sounds crazy as hell, but that's how the mind of
• 6:27
  a lot of narcissists work right there y'all.
• 6:28
  I'm just keeping the hot and ready like a Little Caesar's
• 6:30
  pizza. That's literally how the mind of
• 6:32
  a lot of narcissists work right there.
• 6:34
  They want you to be literally broken down, hurting, destroyed,
• 6:39
  because at the end of the day, it benefits them greatly to do
• 6:43
  that. It benefits them greatly just
• 6:46
  like that in order to have that going on.
• 6:48
  That's what they literally, yeah, that's literally, that's
• 6:51
  literally what happened. That's literally what happens in
• 6:55
  the mind of a lot of narcissists right there.
• 6:58
  Like in the crazy thing about it is, Lee, are they actively
• 7:01
  thinking about this? Are they actively planning this?
• 7:04
  Or is this something that they really aren't doing?
• 7:06
  Or is it just kind of behind the scenes subconscious?
• 7:10
  I think most times it's behind the scenes subconscious right?
• 7:17
  Because a lot of people also ask me do they ever forget about
• 7:20
  you? No narcissist don't forget you
• 7:21
  like the easy y'all. If they spent any time, any type
• 7:24
  of time with you, they will not forget you that easy.
• 7:27
  It just y'all. It just that just doesn't happen
• 7:29
  that way. If they spend any amount of
• 7:31
  discernible time with you, then they really they, they just they
• 7:35
  will not forget you that easy. They, it just doesn't work that
• 7:38
  way. I know some people think it
• 7:39
  might work that way, but for most people it just doesn't.
• 7:42
  It really truly doesn't work that way.
• 7:43
  That narcissistic person or people, this is what goes on in
• 7:46
  their mind. This is what they're doing.
• 7:47
  Like it's really is kind of like some stuff going on.
• 7:51
  The gears are turning, but you don't know what's really turning
• 7:54
  the gears. You don't know the power source.
• 7:56
  I would say, I think a lot of narcissists see what they're
• 7:59
  doing and when they, when they're doing it in the moment,
• 8:01
  it's like, why am I doing this? But they're still doing it
• 8:04
  because something else is in control.
• 8:06
  And I know I look, I already know when I say something else
• 8:08
  is in control. I already know where y'all's
• 8:11
  minds go. Where'd you what?
• 8:12
  When I say something else is in control, what's the first thing
• 8:15
  you thought? That's the devil, Lee.
• 8:20
  That's a demonic possession. That's what most of y'all
• 8:22
  thought right there. Especially if y'all have any
• 8:23
  type of religious beliefs, spiritual beliefs or whatnot.
• 8:27
  I know you thought like that's the deadly gotcha.
• 8:30
  You say you don't believe the devils and narcissists.
• 8:33
  You just said it right there, brother, but I know I didn't say
• 8:38
  that, but literally some narcissists are jet like and
• 8:41
  I'll I'll say this as well. Y'all, at the end of the day,
• 8:45
  some narcissists are just horrible, evil people.
• 8:48
  They are terrible people. So one of the the one of the the
• 8:52
  last probably reasons I'm going to talk about is some of them
• 8:54
  leave you cold, callous and broken because they're evil
• 8:56
  bastards. They just are.
• 8:59
  These are evil human beings. They have, knows them near, they
• 9:03
  have, they lack so much empathy. They, they, they don't care how
• 9:06
  you feel at the end, right? Some of them do not care about
• 9:09
  how you feel. They just want to make you.
• 9:11
  Some of them like the fact that you're hurting.
• 9:13
  Some of them are taking pleasure in the fact that you're hurting
• 9:15
  and the fact that you're crying and the fact that you are having
• 9:18
  such a visceral emotional reaction.
• 9:20
  Some of them are taking pleasure in your reaction, which again,
• 9:24
  is evil. You know, there's no other way
• 9:26
  to slice it other than being evil.
• 9:28
  This is evil. This is evil.
• 9:30
  They're treating you. This is evil.
• 9:32
  What they're doing. So they have nothing to say.
• 9:35
  They have no other elite they that so they want to have you
• 9:38
  broken. They want to see you cry.
• 9:39
  They want to see you sad as hell.
• 9:41
  Because at the end of the day, it makes them feel good about
• 9:43
  themselves. It makes them feel like they
• 9:45
  have some type of power. It makes them feel strong.
• 9:48
  And I know that's weird, but some narcissists do feel strong
• 9:51
  after they've done something horrible to you, after they've
• 9:56
  put you through something horrible or said something
• 9:57
  horrible or done something horrible to you.
• 9:59
  A lot of them do feel stronger, like they ain't control.
• 10:02
  They want to inflict more pain upon you because you're begging
• 10:05
  and screaming and crying and asking them to stop.
• 10:07
  Some of them will keep saying stuff about you.
• 10:09
  Some of them, some of them will just tell you that you're not
• 10:10
  good enough or how negative you are or how draining you are to
• 10:14
  be with. They'll blame you for everything
• 10:16
  that you're going through. They'll blame you for everything
• 10:19
  that you're experiencing. They absolutely will.
• 10:22
  They'll put it on to you, but how you're not good enough and
• 10:24
  why they're going to give the next person everything that
• 10:26
  you've ever wanted because you're not good.
• 10:28
  You were not good enough to get it in the first place.
• 10:32
  That happens. That absolutely happens to so
• 10:34
  many people right there. So just like when you're dealing
• 10:37
  with an emotional abuser, emotional an emotional abuser or
• 10:40
  manipulative person, at the end, if they try to break up with
• 10:42
  you, you don't need to have a final conversation with them,
• 10:44
  y'all. Because sometimes their final
• 10:46
  conversation will just bring them pleasure because they still
• 10:48
  want to see you in pain. They want to see you cry.
• 10:50
  They want to see you have some type of reaction to what they're
• 10:52
  saying and doing to you. So if you can, if you can
• 10:55
  withstand it, try to avoid having it final closure
• 10:58
  conversation because you don't need closure from an abuser.
• 11:00
  Yeah anyway, y'all thanks me to the end of my video Mental
• 11:04
  illness.net for all things Lee Hammock.
• 11:07
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• 11:17
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• 11:19
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