Latest / Start Your Comeback: Rebuilding after Divorce, Empty Nest, and Loss of Spouse / When The Big Things Break, The Small Things Save You

Transcript

When The Big Things Break, The Small Things Save You · Start Your Comeback: Rebuilding after Divorce, Empty Nest, and Loss of Spouse

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Is there a major life transition pinching you?
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: I know you may be asking, what's next?
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_01: What's my purpose?
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_01: What if?
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_01: Because I've asked those two.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Start Your Comeback Podcast.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Tony Thrash, a certified life coach, and I want to share the tools and practical steps to help you create a winning game plan to move into your new adventure.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: And we're kicking off a brand new four-week series I'm calling The Little Things Matter.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_01: Because when you're in the middle of a major life transition, divorce, retirement, emptiness, loss, or just plain figuring out who you are now, the big stuff can feel overwhelming.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: But the little things, that's your lifeline.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_01: You see, the big shifts are loud, but the little things whisper you through.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_01: When life knocks you off your feet, it's rarely the big heroic moments that pull you out of the pit.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's the tiny, consistent, almost forgettable habits that keep you standing when everything else is shaking.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: We tend to underestimate those small choices.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: Little ones like making your bed, lighting a candle, getting dressed and not staying in your pajamas, taking a walk, calling a friend, maybe reading one verse of scripture, or writing one line in your journal.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_01: When you're in transition, everything feels unstable.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: Your routines, your relationships, your finances, even your emotions.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: Nothing looks the same, and your instinct is to look for the big fix.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: The one big grand move that makes everything all better.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_01: But the truth is you rebuild your life one small brick at a time.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: If I were in the middle of a transition, and I have been more than once, here are the most basic life-anchoring things that help me get through it.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: Number one, get up and move.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: I mean move your body.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: Even just a little.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_01: Walk the dog.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: Stretch in your living room.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: Sit outside on the porch with your coffee.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: Because you see, movement creates momentum, and momentum is what your soul needs when everything feels stuck.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: It's hard to stay in despair when you're in motion.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_01: I learned that during my own seasons of loss.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't always want to go to the gym, which, by the way, I didn't go to the gym, but I could take a walk.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: And for me, that meant I would walk literally four to five miles a day because I needed that time outside of my house to clear my head.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_01: I could move just enough to remind my body that I was still breathing.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: Just don't underestimate the healing power of a 20-minute walk.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_01: Number two, feed your mind something good.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_01: During transitions, your thoughts will run wild if you don't guide them.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: This is where many people get lost.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_01: They let fear or regret take over the narrative.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_01: So choose what you feed your mind.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_01: Podcasts that lift you up, worship music that grounds you, scripture that steadies your faith.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: For me, Philippians 4 8 has been a big compass.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, think about these things.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_01: You can't always control your circumstances, but you can't control what you dwell on.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_01: Starve your fear and feed your faith.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: Number three, create a small routine that's yours.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: Because when life falls apart, you crave control.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_01: You want something predictable.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: That's why a simple routine can be your greatest comfort.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not talking about a 5 a.m.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_01: miracle morning unless at your jam.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: Mine's 4 30.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just being honest.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm talking about something small that tells your nervous system we're safe, we're okay.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: As a six on the Enneagram, trust me, this is key for all of us.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_01: It could be making your bed every morning.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: It could be sitting in the same chair for prayer or for journaling.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's your nightly Epsom salt bath.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_01: Ask me how I know.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_01: The point is consistency, not complexity.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: Because your body will start to associate that small act with peace.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: And peace is what you're fighting for.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_01: Routines aren't rigid, they're rescue lines.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: Number four, stay connected to one or two safe people.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: In transition, isolation is the enemy.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: It tricks you into thinking you're alone when you're not.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: You don't need a crowd, you need a few people who can handle your real.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_01: I have five such friends.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_01: They are there in my disappointments, my joys, and everything in between.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_01: They're the people that I can text and say, today was hard.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: They're friends who will sit with me without trying to fix it.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: The world preaches independence, but comeback stories are always built in community.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_01: Even Jesus didn't go it alone.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: He had twelve and then three that were really close.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_01: If the Son of God needed a circle, so do we.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: Healing happens in the presence of saved people.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: No greater truth than this.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: Number five, do something creative.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_01: When you create, you remind your soul that beauty still exists.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: Write or journal, paint, cook, rearrange a room, plant flowers.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't matter what, just make something.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: When I was walking through my divorce, creativity became my therapy.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_01: I wrote pages and pages.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_01: I never intended anyone to read, but it helped me breathe again.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_01: I've given strict instructions to my people to confiscate them and burn them when the time comes.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: Creation helps you process the destruction going on around you.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: And finally, number six, end the day with gratitude.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_01: Even if it's just one thing.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_01: See, gratitude rewires your mind to see hope where it's been hidden.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_01: Some nights your gratitude might be as small as I made it through the day.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: My coffee was hot.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, my kid texted me back.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: You see, that's okay.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: Gratitude isn't about pretending life's perfect, it's about remembering they're still good even when life's messy.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: Gratitude turns surviving into thriving one small things at a time.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: Now, over the next four weeks, we're going to break this idea down even more.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: So here's what's coming.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_01: Today we talked about the movement, mindset, routine, connection, creativity, and gratitude.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_01: Those are the six little anchors for getting through the storm.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: Next week, we're going to talk about the power of small wins.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: We'll talk about celebrating small victories.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_01: We'll talk about how celebrating small victories rebuilds confidence and how keeping a personal win list can change your motivation completely.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: In week three, we'll talk about the little habits that build your big faith.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_01: This one will dive straight into your spiritual side, how the smallest spiritual practices, one verse, one prayer, one pause, become your greatest lifeline in transition.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: And then finally, in week four, we'll talk about the little things that help us rebuild our identity.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: We'll finish it with a look at rediscovery, how the small choices that we make every day start shaping our next chapter one layer at a time.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_01: So today I've got one final thought for you.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: If you're listening right now and thinking, Tony, my life feels like a mess, and I get it.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: But you don't rebuild a house by staring at the wreckage.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_01: You pick up one little brick, you do one small thing that matters, and then you do it again tomorrow.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_01: The little things are not little, they're sacred.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: They're the scaffolding that holds you up until you can stand on your own again.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_01: So this week, I want to give you a challenge.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: I want you to write down three small things that you can do every day for the next seven days.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_01: They don't have to be big, just consistent.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's journaling one line, maybe it's drinking more water, maybe it's taking a 20-minute walk.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's just saying one little prayer.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_01: And when you do them, remind yourself, this little thing matters.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_01: It's part of my comeback.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_01: Because you deserve to not just survive this season, but I really want you to start your comeback.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for being here.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_01: I'll see you next time.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, thanks for listening.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_01: I don't take it for granted that you're here.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_01: You didn't listen by mistake.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_01: If you want to reach out, you can DM me on Instagram at Tony Thrash.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_01: Until next week, remember, there's still time left on the clock.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_01: Let's get you off the bench to start your comeback.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_01: I want to give a special shout out to Country Club for the original music.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: You can find them on Instagram at Country Club.