Latest / R.E.A.L. Talk for REAL L.Y.F.E. / Call It, Clock It, Carry On — Stop Letting Chaos Set Up House

Transcript

Call It, Clock It, Carry On — Stop Letting Chaos Set Up House · R.E.A.L. Talk for REAL L.Y.F.E.

• 0:00
  Welcome to Real Talk for Real Life, where we're realizing everyone is always
• 0:07
  learning and living your full experience.
• 0:11
  I'm your host, Coach C, and this is Season 6, Episode 4.
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  Call it, clock it, carry on.
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  Listen, have you ever allowed a situation to create chaos in your calm?
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  You know what I'm talking about. You're minding your own business,
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  drinking your water, handling your responsibilities, trying to grow,
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  trying to heal, trying to become.
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  And here they come, whoever they are, with the foolishness.
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  And you're sitting there like, huh?
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  Wait a minute. What just happened? Did they really say that?
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  Did they really do that?
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  Did they really think I wasn't going to notice that?
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  Listen, at this season of my life and at my big age, I have developed a response.
• 1:06
  Call it, clock it, carry on.
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  Because becoming on purpose requires you to become intentional about your choosing,
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  your choices, and your changing.
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  And everything does not deserve unlimited access to your attention,
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  Call it Call that thing a thing Stop trying to make inappropriate behavior appropriate
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  because you love somebody,
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  Stop renaming disrespect as that's just how they are Stop calling inconsistency
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  they're just busy Stop calling manipulation they really care about me
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  Stop calling a pattern an accident
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  because admitting it's a pattern would require you to make a decision.
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  Sometimes we know exactly what something is.
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  We just don't like what knowing means. Because once you call it,
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  you have to decide what you're going to do with what you now know.
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  And listen, calling something out does not always mean having a confrontation.
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  Sometimes calling it happens quietly within yourself.
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  I see what this is. That's it. You don't need a PowerPoint presentation.
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  You don't need 17 screenshots. You don't need to convene a jury of your girlfriends,
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  cousins, co-workers in group chat.
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  You saw it. Call it.
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  Because sometimes folks will think you're boo-boo the fool and try to play right in your face.
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  Baby, call it.
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  Clock it. Now that you've identified it, make the mental note because clocking
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  something isn't about keeping score.
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  It's about collecting information.
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  I noticed that. I noticed how you responded when I needed you.
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  I noticed how you celebrated everybody except me.
• 3:02
  I noticed how you speak to me when you're frustrated.
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  I noticed that what you say and what you do keep introducing me to two different people.
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  I notice that every time I leave this environment I feel depleted I notice that
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  I keep making excuses For something that continues to hurt me.
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  Clock it, and then make the necessary adjustment.
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  Because information without adjustment will have you repeatedly volunteering for the same lesson.
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  Phew! Sometimes the adjustment is a conversation.
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  Sometimes it's a boundary. Sometimes it's reduced access.
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  Sometimes it's changed expectations. sometimes is simply saying,
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  now I know how to deal with you.
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  Not maliciously, not vindictively, not bitterly, just accurately. That's maturity.
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  Because boundaries are always big announcements. Sometimes the strongest boundary
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  you'll ever create is the one you quietly enforce.
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  And then carry on.
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  This is where we sometimes get stuck. Because we called it, we clothed it, but then we moved in.
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  Baby, why did you furnish the place? You bought curtains, hung pictures,
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  changed your mailing address?
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  No, we are not building a condo in the confusion.
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  You're supposed to learn there, not live there.
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  Carry on. And carrying on doesn't mean what happened didn't matter.
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  It doesn't mean you weren't hurt. It doesn't mean there shouldn't be consequences.
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  It means I refuse to let what you did become where I live.
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  There is a difference between processing something and permanently parking there.
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  There is a difference between remembering and rehearsing.
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  There is a difference between wisdom and resentment.
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  Take the lesson, make the adjustment, protect the boundary, and move.
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  Because remember, we're becoming on purpose.
• 5:25
  See, this is why this matters for our season six theme.
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  Becoming on purpose means I cannot become who I'm supposed to be while continuously
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  giving yesterday's foolishness today's energy.
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  I have somewhere to go. There is still life to live. There are still things to build.
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  There are still places I'm supposed to walk into.
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  There are still parts of me I haven't even met yet.
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  And I cannot keep interrupting my becoming to investigate behavior I've already identified.
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  Some things don't need another conversation. You already called it.
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  Some people don't need another chance to show you. You already clocked it.
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  And some situations don't need another ounce of your emotional energy It's time to carry on,
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  And carrying on doesn't always mean leaving a person Sometimes you carry on differently
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  Different access, different expectations, different boundaries,
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  different response, different you.
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  Because once I know better, I have a responsibility to move better.
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  Here's your fearless homework, the three C's. This week, I want you to identify
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  one situation that has been taking up too much emotional real estate.
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  Not 10, 1. Then write these three things down. 1. Call it.
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  What is actually happening? not the softened version not the version that protects
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  everybody else's feelings not the version you wish were true what is it,
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  finish this sentence if i stop making excuses for it i have to admit that blank,
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  to clock it what has this situation taught you what pattern did you notice?
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  What boundary, expectation, behavior, or access needs to change because of what you now know?
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  Finish this sentence. Now that I see this clearly, I need to adjust blank.
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  And three, carry on. What would moving forward actually look like?
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  What are you still replaying, revisiting, re-arguing, or trying to make make sense?
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  What would happen if you stop?
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  Finish this sentence. I am no longer giving my energy to blank.
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  Instead, I am choosing blank.
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  And here's your challenge. Do not revisit the situation this week unless new
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  information requires a new decision,
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  No imaginary arguments in the shower No replaying the conversation while driving
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  No checking their page No telling the story to six more people just so you can
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  get six more confirmations that you were right,
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  We clocked it already Now carry on.
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  Here's my final word. Listen, everything you recognize does not require a reaction.
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  Everything you clock does not require confrontation.
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  And everything that hurts you does not deserve permanent residence inside you.
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  Sometimes becoming on purpose sounds less like a dramatic declaration and more like, Yep, I saw that.
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  Call it and I'll remember it Clock it But you will not derail me Carry on Because
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  we're not building condos and chaos anymore We have somewhere to be
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  And somebody to become Call it,
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  Clock it Carry on Now go live fearless,
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  Keep learning Keep living This is real talk for real life where we're realizing
• 9:37
  everyone is always learning and you're living your full experience.
• 9:44
  Make sure you're following me on Instagram and Facebook at Real Talk for Real Life.
• 9:49
  That's L-Y-F-E for more inspiration, merchandise, and motivation between episodes.
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  This is Coach C. I'll see you in the next one.