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Grace and Authenticity: Kathleen’s Journey to Self-Awareness and Empowerment · Authentic Living

• 0:01
  Welcome to Authentic Living with Roxanne, a place where we have conscious conversations
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  about things that really matter in our lives.
• 0:12
  And now here's your host, Roxanne Durhaj.
• 0:40
  Hi, everyone.
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  It's Roxanne Durhodge.
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  Thanks for tuning in again to Authentic Living with Roxanne.
• 0:45
  Today, have a guest that is gonna discuss something that I think as every woman we can
• 0:50
  relate to.
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  It's Kathleen Conner.
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  Kathleen, thanks so much for being here today.
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  Oh, I'm honored to be here and to have your listeners listen to us today.
• 0:57
  I'm excited.
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  Thank you.
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  So let me tell you a little bit about Kathleen.
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  The full bio will be in the show notes, but a bit about her and why she's here to share her
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  wisdom today.
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  She's the woman that everybody calls when they need something.
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  I don't know if any many people can relate.
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  Ranch hands, taco guy, chief bottle washer, you name it, known as the unofficial mayor and
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  Angie's list of people.
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  She built a life of service as a business owner, wife, mother, volunteer, and
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  humanitarian.
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  At 53, she realized she had built a perfect life serving everyone else while becoming
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  nothing to herself.
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  This awakening launched her transformation from depletion to authenticity.
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  And she's gonna use some words of wisdom from her father, which I'll let her share with you,
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  and kind of what her transformative process has been.
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  Kathleen, let's just dive in to I think a lot of women are on that trajectory that's kind of
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  being explained in your bio.
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  Yeah.
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  I think all of us, men and women, but I'm focusing on women because that seems to
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  resonate with me, I am one and I'm there, is that we have a lot of moments.
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  There's a lot of times in our lives that we get caught in a And prior to transforming and
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  realizing and making myself a priority, I just let them pass like a moving car, just a vision
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  out of the window, like, uh-huh.
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  Yep.
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  We'll deal with that later when I have time after this, after that, after the all these
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  other things on my list.
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  And then it just became more and more of them.
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  And I realized through self awareness and through my own practices that the moments I
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  stopped and paused and said, what am I learning from this?
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  What are you teaching me today?
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  And some of them were just profound.
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  And one of the things that you mentioned or that we've talked about prior to the call was I
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  had a neighbor that lived next door to me and there's a 100 yards between our houses.
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  And I was a high school and college athlete and that sport I played was a yards.
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  I ran it competitively a million times through my life and the day that the ambulance came to
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  his house, of course being of service, I ran that 100 yards to his driveway and I couldn't
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  get into the house because I was so out of breath and that was my moment, one moment that
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  just really set me back on my heels and said, Who am I?
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  What am I doing?
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  I was at the prime of my life prior to these years and what happened and who am I and what
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  person am I and why am I living a life of image or of ego or of material things when I can't
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  even be authentic to myself?
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  And so I left that day after helping serve him and serve his needs with a new found energy of
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  I was disgusted with myself and I joined the gym the next week and I went and worked out and
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  lost a lot of weight.
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  More importantly, I found myself.
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  It wasn't about the image that I was portraying.
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  It was about finding myself internally.
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  And I think that's a lot of most women or a lot of women go through is that we're living our
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  lives in these boxes.
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  And I've identified boxes that I think we put ourselves in as women.
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  The good employee, the perfect mother, the people pleaser, the invisible woman.
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  It's too late kind of box.
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  And it's not.
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  We don't have to live in a box as a woman or as a human being anymore.
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  It's so interesting.
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  Think I alluded to it before we got online, but my story is pretty interesting as well.
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  I was married for twenty five years.
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  Marriage was being held together by some little plasters or whatever.
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  I was in a cooperative, loved my environment corporately, had a beautiful son, the whole
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  nine yards.
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  Marriage falling apart, corporate very stressful.
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  Only thing that was working really was my son.
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  And I was not told by a complete stranger walking down the steep street in Toronto,
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  Kathleen.
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  And that's what my opening story is when I'm speaking.
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  Because as I'm knocked out, I literally get knocked out by a complete stranger and I wake
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  up.
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  And at that point, I don't realize it.
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  And the stranger who had stopped to help me said, are you okay?
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  And I said he said to me, are you okay?
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  And I said, I think things are gonna be alright.
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  And since that day, which was fifteen years ago, Kathleen, my life has not stopped
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  changing.
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  So it's interesting because I said to you I can relate because it took something, as I said,
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  the universe just thought it needed to be a little bit more aggressive with me.
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  And after that, it was
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  a cascade of the
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  dominoes and quite literally it was 11/11/2009 and my life has not stopped Congratulations
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  changing since
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  on your moment.
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  And it doesn't have to be a rough bottom.
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  It doesn't
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  be have a rough bottom.
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  Think they're just, it's like a cycle or a loop.
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  They're just there and keep coming in until we learn from them.
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  And until we pause and say, exactly what I said, what is my lesson today?
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  What are you trying to teach me?
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  Instead of reacting, I could have reacted and become very frustrated and just walked away and
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  not helped or but I didn't.
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  I looked at my house and the amazing location that I lived in and I thought, wow, this really
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  isn't who I am.
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  This isn't this I'm just living for somebody else, for an image, for a role, for a box,
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  those types of things.
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  So it was and so my purpose and I hope in life is that I can save women and men, but women
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  especially time, money, and pain and learn the lessons that I've gone through.
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  And just there's a lot of us out there.
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  They say band of brothers.
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  I think it's a war of women.
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  We have to just work together and just acknowledge.
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  Another thing that we talked about prior to coming online is how many times, and I hope
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  that I can bring this to your audience's ears, how many times a day I hear the word fine from
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  people, from women.
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  How are you today?
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  Fine.
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  How are the kids?
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  Fine.
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  How's your job?
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  Fine.
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  And it's such a meh word.
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  To me, it almost it used to really irritate me and now I find it profound.
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  That's and I hope I can tell people when they say it like you're better than fine.
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  You know, your life's better than fine.
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  And it's not a it's not a word or expression or an emotion.
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  I have was sitting on a plane one day, and someone I heard someone say, the word fine
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  stands for feelings I never expressed.
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  And I, yeah, and you know how busy planes can be and how loud and it was when people were
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  boarding.
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  So it was even more distract distracting.
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  And this woman said it, and I was like, that's exactly how I feel about that word.
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  That's exactly when people say it, I think, oh, it's such a mad term.
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  You wouldn't describe a plate of food in front of you or a bouquet of flowers or something,
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  your child is fine.
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  Yeah.
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  So you said that it obviously doesn't have to be as catastrophic.
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  Mine is one of those rare stories.
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  I would say to people don't go get knocked out to wake up.
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  When women are coming forward and working with you, how are they getting there?
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  Are women starting to slow a little bit more to reflect?
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  Because I'm thinking, right, you're busy, you're working, you're raising children, you're
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  all those things and doing all the things necessary to run alive.
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  What are the points of contact that women are getting to to come to you to be able to start
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  to do some of this awareness work?
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  Certainly my website's available at chasingpurpose.com where you can certainly,
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  they can certainly reach out and schedule a discovery call.
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  There's also an emotional baseline assessment available for them on my website that they can
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  just take it.
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  There's no wrong or right.
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  There's no it's just for their information.
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  The data isn't kept on our end.
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  It's just for them to say, where am I?
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  It's on a scale of one to 100.
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  There's 13 questions.
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  You can take it in a matter of minutes.
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  And it's just, am I at 20% and do I want to get to 40?
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  Do I want to, how do I get to another level?
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  And I think on levels like a vibration or frequency.
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  You want to level up, they say level up.
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  That's exactly what we need to do.
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  So yeah, they can reach out to me via my website and find me that way social media as
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  well.
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  They can reach out to me there.
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  It's on my it's I'm sure you're gonna link my social media to your account as well.
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  But there's a lot of work to do and life is hard enough that if you have resources like you
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  and like me, utilize our experience.
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  Don't go through it any harder than you need to.
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  It's time.
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  It's our time as women to find our voice and more importantly, our feet and move forward.
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  It's time to really just step into our power.
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  So do you think, like the women that come to you, are they at a developmental stage?
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  Are younger women coming?
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  Is it women in more kind of 40s and 50s?
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  Or does is there any kind of theme to the the age brackets of people coming forward?
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  Well, find that to be that's an interesting and great question, and thank you for asking it.
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  It's a range of any woman at any age can go through a transition, having a baby, changing
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  jobs, military spouses that go through change in very location.
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  And then as we age through, then it's difference of community, maybe a relationship
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  change, divorce, separation, infidelity, empty nesting.
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  Really goes from like 35 to 75.
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  We all have changes and transitions in our lives that occur at different times.
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  It's how we deal with them and how numb we are during when they are and when we wake up and
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  say, oh, I'm finished.
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  I can't take anymore.
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  I'm tired of living my life for somebody else.
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  And that could happen in someone when they're 30.
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  It could happen when they're 40 or 50 or 60.
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  But there is that time when I think all of us get to the point where we're, Wow, life has
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  passed me by.
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  When is it my turn?
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  And it's that person.
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  It's that person.
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  It's the woman who has done therapy.
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  I love therapy.
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  I've been doing it for years, decades.
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  Therapy is about your past and where you've been.
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  What I do is identify where you are today and where you wanna go.
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  That's most importantly.
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  I'll help you identify triggers and coping mechanisms that have occurred in your past and
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  patterns.
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  But I'm here to march you forward and to figure out a path that you can live authentically and
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  just like your brand, authentic living.
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  So let's talk about when we overhear these conversations with cafes or you hear it, I'm
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  fine, I'm fine.
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  And women or men, like to your point, they're they're going to answer that question like
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  that.
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  And they're thinking, I've been doing it like this Kathleen for a very long time I need
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  something.
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  What along with your and we're gonna put her assessment in the show notes but what are some
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  things if you're if a woman's listening now and she's saying, I need to start doing something.
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  What are some quick tips that you could give her now to just start to shift a little bit?
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  I would say the bet the first thing to do is recognize, like anything, self awareness.
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  Recognize where you are, what box are you falling into.
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  And I hate to use the term box, but it is so simple.
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  It is a methodology that people can relate to.
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  The perfect wife, the good mother, the the great employee, all of those things.
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  So identify that, where you wanna be, and then reject any other outside influence that's
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  coming into your life.
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  It's nice to have influences.
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  It's nice to have conversation, but really decide who you are and who you wanna be.
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  And then replace the things that happened in your life or that are happening now that are
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  causing negativity or bad feelings or just a bad day or a bad mood with something else.
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  It doesn't have to be anything.
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  I'm not asking or we're not asking for people to suddenly pack their suitcases and leave
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  their house.
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  It can be very small.
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  Get up in the morning and make your bed.
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  Start the day on a bright side.
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  Listen to your favorite song when you're dancing around the kitchen, those types of
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  things.
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  It's just the quick things that can bring you joy.
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  Make eye contact, Acknowledge people.
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  People who are always on our phones with their heads down and we're not.
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  We're always in deep thought.
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  Look up.
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  Head up.
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  Shoulders down.
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  Chest out.
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  March forward.
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  That's what I would say.
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  And then just repeat the practice.
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  Replace the toxicity with positive thoughts and positive affirmations and positive behavior,
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  and then just repeat it.
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  Life's a cycle and every day we have twenty four hours to do our 1% to be better.
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  That's all it takes.
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  1%.
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  Do better.
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  Be better.
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  And before you know it, you're at 100%.
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  You don't have to be.
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  We should all be changing every single day.
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  I'm not the person I was yesterday.
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  Thank goodness.
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  So your dad shared some wisdom about givers and takers.
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  Let's talk about that because I think as with my clinical background it's kind of the concept
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  of looking at how did we learn to be who we are, right?
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  And so there's so many variables that ends up giving us our sense of identity.
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  And your dad talked a little bit with you or shared his wisdom about givers and takers.
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  Tell me a little bit about what he taught you about that, Kathleen, and how that's informed
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  some of the work that you do today.
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  My dad was an amazing man and I miss him.
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  He's been called almost twenty years.
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  But he did have words of wisdom that he shared with us.
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  And especially me, I was a curious cat and always listening to him.
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  And he always said that there were two types of people in the world.
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  There were givers and takers.
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  And givers give without question and without thinking.
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  And they rarely take.
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  We rarely take as givers.
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  And when they do or when we do as givers, I'm a giver, it's always with respect and
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  appreciation.
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  But he always said that the takers never give.
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  And he always emphasized never.
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  He always said never.
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  They never give.
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  The takers will always take without empathy and compassion and care.
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  Because for the takers, it's he always said it was about them and what they received that
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  benefited them from the givers.
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  And he was just yeah.
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  He always he always he didn't do it in a judging way.
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  My father was not like that.
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  He was not a judgmental man.
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  But he always said just when you greet people, givers or takers, just think about them.
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  And then you place them and where you want them to be in your life.
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  And I have I also use the term friendlies.
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  And friends.
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  You know, I have a million friendlies.
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  I keep in touch with everybody.
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  Right?
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  Everybody I went to school with, kindergarten, all.
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  They're my friendlies.
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  I have a million of them.
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  But I have like very few and they're my friends.
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  But I have a lot of friendlies.
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  It's the same thing.
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  It doesn't mean that my friends are friendlies or givers and takers.
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  It's just another analogy about people or how to prepare yourself or how to cope with them.
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  So you just meet people and you say, okay.
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  That's interesting, right?
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  So I did a podcast a little while back and the woman talked about daughtering and she talked
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  about the burdens, the implicit burdens that daughters take on and they don't even real it
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  was such an interesting concept.
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  Right?
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  The daughters are the ones thinking about the maybe the aging parents, and they're taking
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  care of obviously, they're taking care of their children, but they're always telegraphing
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  forward about what is needed for the family system.
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  So it's interesting.
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  Right?
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  Because if you think about it, women don't wait to get things done.
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  They just do it.
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  And if if they don't have that centering point to your point, like, it doesn't take much to
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  deplete.
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  And then you're depleted and then you get fine and then they keep taking on more or maybe
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  potentially things get start to get piled on them and they can't say or they don't say no.
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  So with this awareness that you're allowing or teaching people, do you find that women find it
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  hard to say no even though they know they need to say no?
• 17:18
  Yeah, one of the boxes is the people pleaser.
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  Know, no one wants to disappoint.
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  Then I think one of the most important things in self awareness is it's okay to disappoint
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  people.
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  It's okay to set boundaries in a soft, compassionate, empathetic way and say, I just
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  don't have time.
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  You know, I don't want I don't wanna do that today.
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  That doesn't feel right for me.
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  No one can argue that you're expressing your in a feeling.
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  I don't feel like going.
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  I don't feel you can't they can't argue that away from you because it's your feeling.
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  You have a right to share it.
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  Yeah, I think people in women, because we're always the caretaker, the nurturing soul, all
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  of those things that we put ourselves last on the list, we put ourselves and then we don't
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  have anything in our cup to pour from.
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  So how can I be a great mother when I'm not great to myself?
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  When I'm not empowering myself as a confident and powerful and authentic person?
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  How can I teach my son that?
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  How can I teach him, if I'm not showing he's going to model my behavior, and my tone and my
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  vocabulary and all of those things?
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  So if we can't be true to ourselves, then how can we teach authenticity to our loved ones?
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  Absolutely, and it's so important.
• 18:44
  I would say that most of us have been pricked and prodded along the way, which kind of takes
• 18:50
  away from that concept of being true to yourself or authentic.
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  And like you said, the transitions or like the loss or the new job or the new city or blending
• 19:02
  of families, whatever that transition is wakes you up to some degree and then you have to
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  address what's happening from that state to start to think, like you said, who am I?
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  What am Right. I
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  I
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  We don't have to play a role.
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  Don't have to be the stepmother, the mother.
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  We can be Kathleen.
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  We can be that powerful woman and person, but you can you are you.
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  No one else is ever is like you.
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  That's what we need to do is just as a society and as a female empowerment, just be ready to
• 19:36
  be ourselves and to just find our voice and our feet.
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  Think that's the most important thing is, it's okay to not know.
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  I don't know.
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  We don't know everything.
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  And when we do, that's when our time here on earth is gone, When we finished learning at
• 19:51
  least to our capacity.
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  So I hope there's never a time that we aren't always learning and being curious about things.
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  And we just have to reflect on, I think pausing is great.
• 20:01
  Breathing is even better.
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  I used to be a very reactive person, always wanting to convince and compete and do all
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  that.
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  I still have that nature in me.
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  I'm just better with it.
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  I just cope with it better.
• 20:13
  I'm still a very competitive person and all of that, but I just, I don't lead with it.
• 20:18
  I want people to know me as me and just know that's part of me, but that's not who I lead
• 20:25
  with, what I lead with.
• 20:29
  You brought up a really important point.
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  And what I wonder is what are girls seeing and learning from their moms?
• 20:39
  And then, like you said, the shift, have a son as well, Kathleen, and I always try to have him
• 20:45
  see the flip side of his perspective.
• 20:48
  Obviously, he was raised by me as a single mom.
• 20:51
  And it's interesting because you're right.
• 20:53
  Once you share more, they're sponges.
• 20:55
  Right?
• 20:56
  They really they really do gain a perspective because you're not really trying to keep it all
• 21:01
  together.
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  You're not trying to you have to give certain things you have to get done but when you show
• 21:06
  your vulnerability, I'm not so good at this, I'm good at this or whatever or I need your
• 21:10
  help.
• 21:11
  And even for girls I think there's a lot of pressure and I don't know if you would agree
• 21:14
  with women just now because we're getting the scholarships, getting the degrees, getting the
• 21:19
  positions, there's a lot more pressure for women to perform at work and at home.
• 21:25
  And our daughters are looking at this as well, trying to figure out where's the middle.
• 21:30
  So for professional women or women staying at home, it doesn't matter.
• 21:34
  I think women fill roles.
• 21:36
  What guidance do you give the mother that's trying to juggle it all and keep the boat
• 21:42
  afloat as their children look on?
• 21:45
  I would say be present with themselves and with their kids.
• 21:49
  So that's most importantly.
• 21:50
  Think that there's because of social media and we use that every single day and promote our
• 21:54
  brands that there is that like image.
• 21:57
  We have to be out there.
• 21:58
  We have to have the Stanley Cup.
• 22:00
  We have to do all of these things to, to look the same, to be the same.
• 22:04
  We don't.
• 22:05
  What's more important to be authentic.
• 22:08
  And I think just pausing, I think when my son and I talk and there's an experience that he
• 22:13
  sees something or feels something from someone that he's not enjoying, instead of trying to
• 22:20
  tell him how I would do different or what would happen if some hypothetical was different, I
• 22:26
  would say to him, and I do say to him, then you know what not to do when it's your turn.
• 22:32
  Then do better, then be better.
• 22:35
  Those are the things like if he's having problems with a teacher or with a friend or
• 22:39
  whomever, it's okay, put it in your bank of information to know how not to behave if that
• 22:44
  was you.
• 22:45
  And so those are the things we're not, I make mistakes every single day and I hope I learn
• 22:50
  from them.
• 22:51
  And I tell them, I'm having a hard day.
• 22:54
  We didn't do that.
• 22:54
  We didn't that wasn't a conversation that went well for us.
• 22:58
  He and I have a word.
• 22:59
  It's not a safe word because we're always in a safe environment, but we have a word that we
• 23:03
  say purple.
• 23:04
  And when we say purple, the conversation stops and we breathe.
• 23:09
  So there's no more conflict or convincing or those types of negotiating as mom and child can
• 23:16
  do.
• 23:17
  It's just a calm and it can just happen in a heated discussion or just in a, I don't have
• 23:21
  time today.
• 23:23
  I'm busy right now.
• 23:24
  I'm working.
• 23:24
  I am juggling.
• 23:25
  I'm doing all the things that I have to do, and I'm going to always be there for you.
• 23:29
  But right now, I have to say purple.
• 23:32
  And and and it's it's that simple.
• 23:34
  Right?
• 23:35
  It's communication, but it's sometimes just getting that cue word that allows you to just
• 23:39
  stop.
• 23:39
  Yeah.
• 23:39
  And he just respects it.
• 23:40
  It took all the times for us to remember when it was said to stop.
• 23:45
  So it's not but it now it's and again, it's not used daily, but when it is used, it's very it's
• 23:50
  a very respectful and just a, okay.
• 23:52
  Pause.
• 23:53
  Breathe.
• 23:54
  And then we can pick back up the conversation later when we both do have time.
• 23:59
  So what do you think employers should think about when they're thinking of females in their
• 24:04
  workforce?
• 24:05
  That's a great
• 24:06
  Yeah.
• 24:07
  Corporate That's thing.
• 24:08
  Because we know that obviously anxiety and depression is on the rise and I think women are
• 24:14
  the numbers are stacking higher for women.
• 24:16
  What should employers kind of keep up at the forefront of their mind in order to potentially
• 24:24
  explore or think and meet about meeting the needs of these women?
• 24:27
  Because they're obviously, they're gonna perform and overperform potentially.
• 24:31
  But in order to keep them well and productive, what kinds of things from your coaching lens
• 24:37
  would you think employers should consider?
• 24:40
  I think anything when it comes to a positive and impactful culture is huge.
• 24:45
  I think open communication is essential in our work environment, especially giving them space,
• 24:50
  letting them take time to say, you know, I'm anxious right now.
• 24:54
  I can't focus.
• 24:55
  I had a bad night.
• 24:56
  I had a bad day.
• 24:57
  I just got off the phone and I'm frustrated with what just happened.
• 25:00
  And instead of rushing them to the next meeting, giving them grace, allowing everybody
• 25:06
  but especially females because we do so much, a little and a lot of grace.
• 25:12
  It goes a long way.
• 25:13
  My father, another thing that he would say is grace over grudge.
• 25:18
  I was raised in a very
• 25:20
  Grace over.
• 25:21
  But that's it.
• 25:22
  I hope you've used that for know your marketing.
• 25:24
  All the time and I was used, yes.
• 25:26
  And I, we were raised in an Irish family and there was a lot of stubbornness and a lot of
• 25:30
  grudges.
• 25:31
  He wasn't that man.
• 25:32
  He did lead with grace and he taught us to lead with grace.
• 25:36
  And I love that when people, and I think that companies back to your question, corporate in
• 25:41
  any company, any size, just lead with grace, understand.
• 25:46
  I was behind a car twenty years ago that this really resonated with me at the time and still
• 25:51
  does.
• 25:52
  There was a sign, a handwritten sign in the back window of a car and I was at the red light
• 25:57
  and this woman was in front of me.
• 25:58
  This person was in front of me and it said, cancer patient struggling with my thoughts, be
• 26:05
  kind.
• 26:06
  And I thought, what a profound thing to put out there, very vulnerable.
• 26:12
  But I also thought, I hope no one honks at her.
• 26:15
  I hope no one in some cities, people tend to honk.
• 26:18
  Yeah, depending on how big of a city
• 26:19
  or whatever.
• 26:20
  They're like
• 26:20
  move along.
• 26:21
  They don't have time to go from the break to the gap.
• 26:24
  Or even adopting that scientist, human on board, thoughts might be scattered.
• 26:30
  Like it's cancer, which is very serious, obviously.
• 26:33
  Yeah, right.
• 26:34
  The thing is any of us could be going through that scattered feeling and just to have, like
• 26:39
  you said, to your point, grace, like your father is very wise, clearly, to be able to see
• 26:44
  that because we sometimes you don't you literally don't know what someone's
• 26:48
  experiencing.
• 26:48
  You don't.
• 26:49
  Don't just go, go, go, go, go, but just stop, like, take a pause to your point and say, you
• 26:55
  know, how you how you like, how are you really doing?
• 26:59
  Right.
• 27:00
  Yeah.
• 27:00
  And another thing is just believe that everybody has the best intention.
• 27:04
  Everybody wants to, we're all in this together.
• 27:07
  So just know that if anybody comes across as nasty or mean, or even snide or whatever the
• 27:13
  comment is, that's their stuff that they're dealing with.
• 27:16
  And again, give them grace.
• 27:19
  Just take it instead of reacting.
• 27:21
  I think there's a lot of especially in our environment right now, there's a lot of
• 27:24
  reactive energy, right?
• 27:27
  And our climate I think right now it's just it's okay to just breathe and pause and just
• 27:35
  don't respond.
• 27:36
  Just that little minute or second of silence really can transform any conversation or even a
• 27:44
  text.
• 27:44
  Hey, I need a minute to think about this.
• 27:47
  I'm not gonna respond right now.
• 27:49
  You've triggered something in me.
• 27:50
  There's a, you know, there's a lot
• 27:51
  of Maybe we need to come up with
• 27:52
  a human pause button, you know, like like when you pause or two together.
• 27:58
  I'm Like
• 27:58
  come up with something like that.
• 28:01
  Yeah, I just think that there's just too many reactive.
• 28:04
  We're just so quick to for instant gratification, we want it on the good side, but
• 28:08
  we also just, there's so much competitive or energy that says, I can't let that person win
• 28:14
  or control.
• 28:15
  I think a lot of our society and a lot of what we deal with all day is just control tactics.
• 28:20
  And if we just acknowledge we're not gonna play, we're not gonna play when people try to
• 28:25
  control things.
• 28:26
  We're just
• 28:27
  That's the most powerful thing you can do is create the silence or create the gap where
• 28:32
  Yeah.
• 28:32
  Just a sense of peace, just a sense of, I'm not gonna let you get to me.
• 28:36
  Right.
• 28:37
  Absolutely.
• 28:37
  It's hard.
• 28:38
  It's and it does take time.
• 28:39
  I it's gotta and it's
• 28:41
  have to lots of practice too.
• 28:43
  And
• 28:44
  I'm not saying that yeah.
• 28:46
  That there's things that are perfect, but it's There are times that you're going to slip up, a
• 28:50
  lot of them, but eventually you'll get to the place where you'll pause
• 28:54
  and breathe.
• 28:55
  Absolutely.
• 28:57
  This has been a beautiful conversation, Kathleen.
• 28:59
  Well, thank you very much.
• 29:01
  So, again, tell everybody where you hang out on social and a bit more remind them about the
• 29:08
  assessment again and your website so that anybody that's wanting to to explore further or
• 29:13
  have conversation with you, they can reach out and spend some time with you.
• 29:17
  Yeah, I appreciate that.
• 29:18
  So the discovery calls are free.
• 29:19
  They're half hour or so to spend time with me talking about a few things.
• 29:22
  You can find the link to my website, my Calendly link.
• 29:25
  Get on my calendar.
• 29:26
  I'd love to talk to you.
• 29:27
  You can find me on social media, Instagram, and now we just started Substack and Facebook, so
• 29:32
  we're out there as well.
• 29:33
  You'll link them to your social media, I'm sure.
• 29:35
  But, yeah, just find me.
• 29:36
  I'm here.
• 29:37
  I'm listening.
• 29:38
  More importantly, I'm pausing before I talk, and I wanna help people help themselves more
• 29:43
  importantly.
• 29:44
  So what am I taking about away?
• 29:47
  What you're doing?
• 29:48
  Yeah.
• 29:49
  When someone says fine, probe a little bit more and grace ahead grace instead of grudges
• 29:57
  according to Mr.
• 30:00
  Kathleen's dad.
• 30:01
  If you can apply those two things, what a shift you could potentially make in someone's life
• 30:07
  you never know.
• 30:08
  You might need it sometimes and in doing that with people around you make a difference.
• 30:13
  Just listen for it because the words define, just remember it as feelings I never expressed.
• 30:20
  And then when someone says that's what they're doing, they're not expressing their true
• 30:24
  feelings.
• 30:25
  Yeah.
• 30:25
  I like it.
• 30:26
  Like it.
• 30:27
  Grace of a grudge.
• 30:29
  Yep.
• 30:29
  Straight mark that.
• 30:31
  Yeah.
• 30:32
  It's a good one.
• 30:33
  Kathleen, thank you so much for your time.
• 30:36
  And for everybody listening, thank you for hanging out with me week after week.
• 30:40
  And hit that subscribe button so you can know when I have amazing guests like Kathleen on.
• 30:45
  Do a review so we can know what's going and potentially what kind of topics you wanna hear
• 30:51
  more of.
• 30:52
  For employers listening out there, leaders, think how is it that you can meet women where
• 30:58
  they are to optimize their capacity?
• 31:01
  Clearly, they have capacity, but to optimize their ability to stay healthy, functional, and
• 31:07
  creative and at work so that they can come back after doing what they need to do outside of
• 31:12
  work and bring the best version of themselves.
• 31:15
  So for everyone, what am I up to?
• 31:17
  I am launching the course on the ROR course on my book and life coaching.
• 31:24
  For more information, just reach out to me at roxanneroxandderhodge dot com.
• 31:28
  Again, Kathleen, thank you so much.
• 31:30
  Yeah.
• 31:31
  Thank you.
• 31:32
  For everybody, thank you, and we'll see you again next week.
• 31:35
  Take care.
• 31:35
  Take care.
• 31:36
  Bye bye.
• 31:36
  Thanks, Roxanne.
• 31:37
  Thank you.
• 31:38
  Thanks for tuning in to Authentic Living with Roxanne, creating the space for positive,
• 31:44
  healthy change.
• 31:45
  Roxanne is a keynote speaker, psychotherapist, and coach.
• 31:49
  To work with Roxanne, visit roxannederhaj.com/blueprint.
• 31:55
  We'll see you next time on Authentic Living with Roxanne.