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Learn how to create more fun in the bedroom with Dr Trina · Inspiring Stories

0:04
Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to the picture of the radiant.
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Speaker 2: Rat.
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Speaker 3: You readything to me?
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Speaker 4: Oh well, well.
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Speaker 3: Say, oh well.
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Speaker 2: Not bad. So I just see.
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Speaker 3: Song splash song? Is it as.
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Speaker 1: Okay? Welcome back everybody. This his inspiring stories. While I
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introduced her next guest, please go get your coffee, your
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snacks and everything. Be prepared to listen to what our
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next guest, Doctor Trina Reid has to say. She is
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a Calgary based sexologist, best selling, award winning author, and
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relationship expert. For twenty five years, she is has helped
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married women and couples reignite passion connect after the honeymoon
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phase has faded. The journey inspires her to create a
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new literary genre called self help fiction stories about both
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that both entertain and transform. She has an award winning novel,
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The Sex Show, was the first of its kind in
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the world, blending engaging storytelling with practical tools for real
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life intimacy. Now that does sound very interesting her. She
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has a new upcoming release, The Taboo Show, that continues
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that mission, helping women to find their voice through through
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her books, masterclasses, and podcast appearances. Hey, one of our
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podcast appearances will be just in a few minutes aim
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to make conversations about intimacy and relationships open, empower empowering
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and joyful. And I have to agree with her on
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that last point that conversations between especially between couples, about
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intimacy should be open and empowering. And maybe not, maybe
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there are always going to be joyful, but definitely the
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first to open and empowering because your partner or your spouse,
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however you want to say, it should be a point
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of empowerment to you, helping you be that person that
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you're supposed to be.
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Speaker 3: Something we can.
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Speaker 1: All right, doctor Trina, welcome to the show. It's a
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pleasure to meet you. You said off air that you've
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been doing this for twenty five years.
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Speaker 5: Yes, and I know I don't look at day over
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five years, but yes, I have been helping women and
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couples in long term relationships be excited to be intimate.
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Speaker 6: And emotionally connect. And you know, it's it's been a
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wild ride. Let me tell you. I think the biggest
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hurdle for me twenty five years ago and to this
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day right now is I can go on to TV,
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and I can go on radio, and I can talk
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all I want about all the things that are wrong
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about sex, so sexual dysfunction or sexual assault or like
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all the all the negative things about sex. But the
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moment that I start talking about women's sexual pleasure or desire,
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I get censored. So the you know, the majority of
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my career has been about like working around this idea
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that you know, we can't talk about couples connecting and
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having a deeper, more emotional intimate connection. Uh, because what
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most people here are only the negative things. If that
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makes sense to you.
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Speaker 1: That does make sense to me. But okay, for me
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thinking about this that sex is in a relationship is
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the result of a healthy relationship, especially if both people
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are getting pleasure out of it.
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Speaker 6: Yeah, well there's there. Honestly, there's so many things that
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get in the way of couples being able to connect
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that way. And I think one of the biggest things
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is people come to conflate this idea of having sex
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with all the other things that are going on in
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their relationship. So I always say, you can always tell
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what's going on inside the bedroom by what's going on
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outside the bedroom. So if you're having some conflicts or
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some issues, you know, or you're in a season of life,
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like you have little kids, or you're having some difficulty
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at work, or you know, you know it's a stressful
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holiday season. All of that stress is going to you know,
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be associated with not wanting to connect with your partner
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because I feel like a couples oftentimes when we're stressed
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and you know, feeling anxiety, we just want to be alone,
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when in actuality, in those moments, we should be leaning
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into our partner and you know, getting that nurturing and
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emotional connection with that other person, and that's going to
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help us ride through this difficult period. If that makes sense.
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Speaker 1: That does make sense. I was going to ask, when
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do you advise? Okay, I have dealt with with people.
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It's more on a spiritual basis because at times I
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am Reverend Michael, and when when the couples come, they
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it's I would say, it's like, well, I say to
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the mend it's like, Okay, she's having trouble at work
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or something like that. Do you sit down and you
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listen to her or do you glaze over it. It's
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like you have to honestly sit down, stop what you're
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doing and listen to each other. Right, that's right, and
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and it doesn't that reflect also in the in the bedroom.
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Speaker 6: Oh for sure. I would say, like one of the
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biggest pieces of advice, you know, in the top five
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things that I would say help keep a couple together
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is an emotional Like so, you know, sex happens, that's safe,
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you know one day, you know, but like for me,
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sex is everything that happens in between the act. So
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everything that you're doing in between those times that you're
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physically connected that way, So it's in how you touch
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each other every day in a non sexual way. So
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you go and you hug your partner, or you give
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them a kiss on the cheek, or you say something
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nice to them. These these moments I like to call
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them erotic simmerings, where you know, like these are the
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moments that are that are keeping you connected and threading
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you together as a couple. That you know, so that
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when you know it's time to have sex, you're you're
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so much more into it because you've put the emotional
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investment into it, you know, all week long or all
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month long, you were you know, you've been doing something
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every single day to stay connected with your partner. Because
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I find that relationships are like house plans. You know,
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if you leave your relationship in the corner, in a
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like shadow corner, and you don't water it and you
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just ignore this plant, it's going to die. So if
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you just leave your relationship and your intimacy and all
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that in a shadowy corner and you're not giving it
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any TLC, nothing, it's going to die. And the thing is,
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if you're a reverend, then you know, like once you
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get to this point as a couple where you are disconnected,
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it's it's incredibly hard to get it back. Like you
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know you can, you can get it back, it just
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takes a lot more effort than putting in that those
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those little moments every single day that keep that erotic
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simmering going. And you know, I think relationships are so
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much better when you have those flirty moments, like you
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can be like I've been with my husband for twenty
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three years and I get, you know, being flirty. Some days,
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you know, you just don't feel like it because you
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know you've had a day and you know you're so
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used to each other. But when you actually make the
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effort to you know, send a flirty text or you know,
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like you know, show your show, you know, like you
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do those little flirty things with each other all of
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a sudden, you still have that spark, and you still
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and you remember why you chose this person in the
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first place. And I think, you know, you know, if
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I could give any advice to couples, it doesn't take
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a lot of effort. It's more the consistency every day
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just doing something little to cherish your partner.
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Speaker 1: It's a consistent decision to pay attention, yes.
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Speaker 6: With intention, pay attention with intention.
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Speaker 1: Yes, good point, good point. Yeah, I like that.
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Speaker 6: Thank you.
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Speaker 1: I wish I would have met you years ago. It
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may it may have affected who I married first time around,
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and I would have or not or not, like we
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maybe i'd have waited. Yeah, h Seriously, I've been I've
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been with my current wife for ten years.
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Speaker 6: Oh, congratulations, ten years.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, and I was in a previously. I was in
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another marriage for for thirteen years and it was a
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struggle every day just to to be there.
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Speaker 6: Yeah.
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Speaker 1: And when both people seem to put in it's it
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seems it seems that like the last sen years have
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gone past, and like, oh it's been ten years already.
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Oh wow.
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Speaker 6: Yeah. So yeah, well it's you know, I just I
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just find that I believe and you know, I don't
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know if everybody would believe this, but I believe that
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monogamy is a choice you make every single morning you
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wake up, so you wake up with this person, and
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you're making that choice to be in this relationship. So
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I just feel like, if you're choosing to be here
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in this relationship, then like make it work, do something
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to do something nice for your partner, Do something nice
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for your relationship so that you know it just you
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know it makes it makes it a happier, pleasurable relationship
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for you. And the thing is, when you have that
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good couple's usual, moving into the bedroom is effortless. It's honestly,
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it's seamless and being Like, so the thing that couples
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have the hardest time doing with each other is communicating
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about things they want to try or things they don't like.
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Let's say your partner, your partner's doing something and you're
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not really crazy about but you don't know how to
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tell them, and it's really awkward, you know, or you know,
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you like you want to go in a different direction
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in the bedroom. Like, all these things are pretty common
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questions I get from the people that I speak with, Like,
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you know, they love their partner. They want to stay
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in the relationship, but they want the sex to change.
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So how do you get to a place in your
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relationship where you both are comfortable. Well, when you invest
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every day in your relationship and you have that good usual,
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all of a sudden, communicating all of these things becomes
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infinitely easier. Like you're coming, I hope this makes sense.
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But instead of saying, you know, I really don't like
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what we're doing in the bedroom, which is like, you know,
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like you might just it's just the worst way to communicate,
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you're saying, you know, I think you know, I'd like
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to be more connected with you, And this is how
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I was thinking we could do it. And you know,
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I just think this is so much easier when you
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have that good relationship emotional attachment to each other.
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Speaker 1: That that makes sense, Because well, I think we should dive
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deeper into this, sure, because there's a lot of people
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that that are in healthy relationships, but they still struggle
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to ask for what they want, yeah, in the bedroom,
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So let's go further into that. How do how do
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we ask for something more or criticize something without belittling
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the other person?
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Speaker 6: First, Well, the short answer like this is a This
15:40
is a three dollars, three day long answer. But the
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short answer is, first of all, decide whether this is
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a small commmmunication or a big communication. So a small
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communication is you know, you're you're in the middle of
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things and your partner, you know, you want your partner
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to do something different. You can you can say like,
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you know more of that, or you know, like and
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so in the moment, if it's just a small thing
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like move your hand or try that, you know these
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or you can even take that person your partner's hand
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and show them with your own hand. You know. These
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are all small things. But if you want to do
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something big, like let's say you want to, you know,
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try a new position, I would do this outside the bedroom,
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like this is this is like you're it would be
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so awkward if you're in the middle of things and
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you're like, hey, I've got this great idea, let's you know,
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and I just think that's not the time for it. So,
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you know, and I think a lot of times we
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give a lot of information in how we're you know, gesturing,
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and so like if you aren't you know, enjoying things
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in the middle of things, you can just like you
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can just sort of, you know, maybe push your partner's
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hand away or you know, give them that kind of signal.
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And I think most of us would catch on pretty quick.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, a little hand push it with something major. So
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we should have it. We should have more more of
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a conversation out so both parties can be be be
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ready for what we're going to try next. Is that
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what your Yeah?
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Speaker 6: And you know that. I just think the personally and
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everybody communicates with their partner different. I just find that
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instead of I would just get an article, like there
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are a million articles on Google, and you know, if
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you wanted, if you want something different, all you have
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to do is go on Google and like search like
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I would like to try this, and there's going to
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be an article or a blog that somebody has written,
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and then you can send that to your partner and
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you know say, hey, like I'd like to talk about this.
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So it gives your partner some time to think and
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you know, have to process it. So instead of coming
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at them and saying, you know, this is this is
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something different. I really like the idea of just giving
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your partner something a video to watch or an article
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to read, and then they get to process it and
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then you can sit down as adults and have this conversation.
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Speaker 1: That makes a lot a lot of sense because then
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there's some comfort there. Yeah yeah, yeah yeah. So of
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course in the intro I talked about you have at
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least two books, So the is the taboo book out
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yet or were We're still waiting for that one?
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Speaker 6: Okay, Well, so I I'll just get some backstory. So
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I have. In two thousand and eight, I wrote a
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best selling book called Tell sexu ust part. It was
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a nonfiction. It did really well in Canada, and I
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walked away from that experience learn and having learned a
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lot of things. And one of the things that I
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learned is there are a lot of women who want
19:29
to read a self help book on sex. But there's
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a lot there's just as many or more women who
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are not interested in reading a self help book. So
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I thought, how can I get some good information to
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women in a way that they would want to consume it.
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So I came up with this idea of writing a
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fiction book, a self help fiction book. So I wrote
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this a book called The Sex Course. There it is.
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And so this book is about four women who take
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a sex course it's kind of on the nose, a
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little bit on the nose, and you know it's there there,
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you know. They they take this. So it's four very
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different women and it's and what was interesting about this
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book is they all were getting the same they were
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all taking the same course, but how it resonated with
20:19
them was all very different. So this book ended up
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winning an award.
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Speaker 2: Yay.
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Speaker 6: And so the sequel to that The Sex Course is
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the Taboo Show. So the Taboo Show. These same these
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same four women go to the Taboo Sex Show. So
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I don't know, they have the Taboo Sex Show in Vancouver.
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It's it's an actual show. It's an actual thing that
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I spoke at for many years across Canada.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, the it's it's a conference.
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Speaker 6: It's a trade show. Yeah yeah, it's a trade show.
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So these so these four women go the Taboo Text
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Show and it's their adventures inside the show. And what's
21:08
interesting is because I spoke at the Taboo Show for
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so many years, I accumulated all of these experiences. So
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every so when you read it, when you read the
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Taboo Show, you're like, oh, could that be real?
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Speaker 2: Did that?
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Speaker 6: You know? That can't be real? All of these things
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happened to me. All of them happened to me, So
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you know, the things that are happening to the women,
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they all happened to me. And it's like it's just
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this crazy roller coaster ride. But ultimately, what I'm trying
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to do with both of these, you know, the sex
21:44
course and the Tyep Taboo show, is you know, I'm
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I'm showing women how to be empowered in the bedroom,
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ask for what they want, lean into the pleasure that
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they asked for, and it's and I'm doing that from
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or very different perspectives. So it's it's very it's very
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interesting to me to have for just ordinary women walk
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into like a sex course and it's like all of
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a sudden, they're learning these really not radical things, but
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these really these things that they've never encountered before. And
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then they go into the Taboo show and they're encountering
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things that they've never encountered before and just having that reaction,
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like you know, what their journey and how they react
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to their partner after they've been in the show. It's
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it's I think it's been a really fun and interesting
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way to talk about sex to women in a way
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that they probably have never heard or seen before, so
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you know, you know, So the Taboo The Taboo Show
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comes out February fourteenth, twenty twenty six. Pre orders will
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be like, I'll have orders up and yeah, I think
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you know. I'm really excited because it's it's an excellent
23:05
book and I'll send you a copy if you want.
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Speaker 1: That would be I'll make sure that you have my
23:10
address because I think we're connected via text message, and
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I will send it over to you. It it's it
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sounds like a really cool way like being like in
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a novel format. But but there's advice in the novel
23:28
format because I know my wife and I we we
23:33
we listened to audiobooks. So the audiobooks thing is mostly
23:38
because if if I, if she was to read a
23:40
book and then and then wait for me to finish
23:44
reading the book, it would take forever. But the audiobook
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we can do, we can do together, right. Yes, So
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there are there are some authors out there that they
24:01
they put a really cool storyline to things, but the
24:05
intimacy is tucked in there and she enjoys that and
24:11
we make comments about wow, that particular author, she's got
24:15
some imagination, doesn't she? I was like this, listen to
24:20
how they go at it as a couple. You know.
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Speaker 6: So let me tell you as a sexologist, I went
24:28
into my first book thinking, oh, how hard could a
24:32
sex scene be to write? Like, how hard could that
24:34
be to write? It's hard. It's not easy writing a
24:39
sex scene because you've got all these limbs and things
24:42
going and it's like you have and having to describe things. Now,
24:46
I have the utmost respect for authors who are able,
24:51
as you say, to write that really well, because trust me,
24:55
it wasn't easy. I was like, I was scratching my
24:58
head thinking, oh and what so you know there's a
25:02
it's a real art and actually they have there's a
25:07
There used to be an award. I don't know if
25:09
there still is, but there used to be an award
25:11
for the the best sex scene in a book. And I,
25:20
you know, I I always wondered why there was, but
25:23
now I know because it's so difficult.
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Speaker 1: Well, writing writing fiction isn't isn't exactly easy.
25:34
Speaker 2: No.
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Speaker 1: I have written technical manuals, how to manuals, things like that,
25:41
but when it comes down to trying to actually write
25:45
a story that that becomes very difficult to to to
25:53
add the rate detail that keeps the reader involved.
25:57
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's definitely labor of love. These these books have
26:02
taken me each a year and a half to write,
26:07
and you just think, well, how how there's just so much.
26:10
There's just so much you have to think about. And
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as you say, it's really about it's called pacing. Like
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I don't know if you care, but it's called pacing.
26:19
So you have to make sure that each chapter has
26:22
a good pace, and you know, like and there's things
26:25
called plot points, so you know, you have you know,
26:29
the plot points as you're going through, Like, these are
26:31
all new things to me. I write nonfiction, right, Like
26:34
that's always been like nonfiction is pretty straightforward. But now
26:38
all of a sudden, you have pacing, and you've got
26:40
plot points, and you have to add in description. Oh
26:43
my gosh, you know like this And actually one of
26:45
the one of the comments from my editors was, you know,
26:49
I think you should get at thesaurus and start looking
26:52
up some different words to describe things, because I used
26:55
to say words over and over again. So you know,
26:58
it's there's it's really there's a lot of deep detail.
27:04
There's uh, yeah, there's just a lot to think about,
27:07
and I know, first for authors who grew up writing fiction,
27:13
this is not such a mental process. But for me
27:16
coming in to it, it was, you know, like it's
27:19
just been it's just been a completely I think. I
27:22
like to think of it as I write nonfiction from
27:25
one side of my brain, and I write fiction from
27:27
the other side of my brain. And you know, it's
27:29
just trying.
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Speaker 1: To probably very very very true because now you're starting
27:36
to describe your your doctor part. Uh, it sounds like
27:43
your doctor part is very scientific, right for sure?
27:47
Speaker 6: And you know, I've always you know, there's just so
27:52
much misinformation on the internet, especially around sexuality, you know,
27:59
and and with you know, the prevalence of porn and
28:06
the miseducation that you get from porn. You know, like
28:09
there's just so much that people can get wrong inadvertently
28:13
about sex. And so it's just so very important to
28:16
me that you know, I get I make sure I
28:20
get the information right. And a lot of my job
28:23
is is taking scientific papers and translating them to every
28:33
day speak. I don't know if that makes sense to you,
28:35
but you know, like you have these you have these
28:37
really highly worded, you know, sometimes difficult to understand documents
28:45
that are really juicy and like has like such important information.
28:50
But the average person, if they're trying to read this study,
28:53
they'd be like, like, I don't get it. So I
28:55
take that and my job is to translate it into
28:58
something that people can consume and understand.
29:03
Speaker 1: Yeah, well you know you can. You can always be
29:07
as technical as you want, and it's going to be
29:11
it's only going to going to be understood by a
29:15
very narrow group. But you gotta open it up a
29:20
little bit, shall we say, I'm I'm avoiding using the
29:23
term that that was handed to me is like dumb
29:26
it down.
29:28
Speaker 6: Well, no, it's just make it. I like to say,
29:30
make it accessible to everybody.
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Speaker 1: Accessible sounds it sounds way you know.
29:36
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's what I like to do, is just make
29:37
it accessible so that everybody goes, oh, well that that
29:40
research does make a lot of sense, you know, because
29:43
even i'm you know, I've been even I read some
29:46
of these things and and you know, my brain's going like,
29:49
oh yeah, it's not it's not easy.
29:54
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's it's like trying to chew on sandpaper. Yeah,
30:00
you know, the information is there, right, it was like,
30:07
but okay, so the way the way I understood how
30:12
you're actually writing your books for the public, though you
30:18
are taking the information you're putting into language and story
30:23
form so that it does become accessible. Oh well I did.
30:29
AT's a I didn't know that that this thing existed.
30:35
Oh well, maybe that's why I want this instead of
30:39
that or some you know things like that.
30:41
Speaker 6: Well, it's it's more like, what I really love about
30:45
fiction is I'm able to take an average woman's response.
30:51
So you know, they they're in a situation and she's
30:55
just an average woman and she has this response. And
30:57
I know that because I've talked to thousands of women
31:01
that that's the response they have. But a lot of
31:04
times when it comes to sex, we never talk about
31:07
it to other people, so we feel like we're the
31:09
only ones who are having that response and it's not true.
31:14
So like, so the reader gets to see that, Oh,
31:18
so she was in this situation and she felt this way,
31:20
and I can really relate to that, and oh, I'm
31:23
normal and my reaction is normal, and how I feel
31:26
about this is normal. So a lot of this book
31:29
is just helping women to see she's absolutely normal, and
31:34
you know how she feels and how she reacts and
31:37
what she thinks, you know, and that was very important
31:40
to me to you know, help women just see, you know,
31:43
like we're all in this like couples, we are all
31:46
in the same boat together. We are all trying to
31:49
figure this out as we go along. And you know,
31:52
sex is messy and it's complicated, but it's also one
31:57
of those things that is the glue that will hold
32:01
you together with your partner through thick and thin, and
32:04
it's going to be one of those things that when
32:07
you look back at your life, you will, you know,
32:11
be happy that you made a big effort to make
32:15
that connection with your partner, or you will be sad
32:18
that you miss that opportunity. But I think, you know,
32:20
this is one of those things in life that you know,
32:24
there's a lot of there's a lot of opportunity now
32:28
for couples to you know, come. You know, even even
32:33
if you've been together for a long time, you can
32:36
still have a deep intimate connection. And in fact, the
32:40
longer you've been with a person, the more you trust them,
32:44
the more you can be vulnerable with them, the better
32:47
your intimate relationship can be. You know. So I just
32:50
I feel like these books really show case that idea
32:55
of you know, you're in a relationship, you've got kids, like,
32:58
you've got like your life is messy. All these things
33:01
are happening, but you can still have that really great
33:04
connection with your partner. And here's how.
33:06
Speaker 1: Yeah, because i'd like what your books are doing. Because
33:12
this is what what I see on the internet, especially
33:16
in social media. Well, I I know, I'm i'm misshaped,
33:23
I'm overweight, I'm this, or I'm that. It's like, but
33:26
why men, Why don't men love me? It's like, and
33:32
I see when you see enough of these things, you're like, well,
33:34
why is it that that that that these women think
33:38
that they had to post this in order to get
33:43
to attract attention. Why can't we post something empowering and
33:50
receive attention?
33:53
Speaker 6: Yeah, I do, I understand. I fully understand what you're
33:56
saying and agree. And I do feel like the top
34:00
it is turning. Like from when I started this twenty
34:02
five years ago to now, I do see that younger
34:08
women are taking up the torch to be empowered and
34:10
not put themselves out there. You know, it's but it's
34:15
it's a slow change. But you know, I do want
34:18
to take those young lad some of those young ladies
34:20
and just give them a shake and say, honey, honey,
34:23
you don't have to do this. This is you know,
34:26
like it's not you can be empowered in a different way,
34:30
you know, But so I do. But I do see
34:33
a change, Yeah, I do.
34:35
Speaker 1: Yeah, because because the way you're describing your books, within
34:40
your books, the way you're writing things, it sounds like
34:42
empowering someone to be who they are is more important
34:47
than trying to find attention by being something that you're not.
34:54
Speaker 6: Yeah. And you know, and in my first book, The
34:58
Sex Course, I one of the one of the four women.
35:03
I actually I talked about body issues. So she's a
35:07
mom and she's got you know, she's got a mom
35:09
bought and you know, she's trying to come to terms
35:11
with it. And it was really difficult to write, you know,
35:16
helping to show her evolution of really hating her body
35:22
to somewhat accepting her body. I don't believe that, you know,
35:26
in a story arc she's going to go from hating
35:29
her body to loving her body. That's just not how
35:31
life works. But we got to a place where she
35:34
could look at herself in the mirror and not hate
35:36
her body, which I thought was you know, a really great,
35:40
so women, you know, I hopefully. And actually it was
35:43
interesting because one of the best comments I got from
35:48
a reader who is a personal friend of mine and
35:52
is on the big side. And when I was writing
35:54
this book, I was thinking, if I could give this
35:57
person some love and advice, how could I help her
36:02
start loving her body? And she was reading my book
36:10
on a beach and she decided that she was going
36:15
to wear a bikini. So she went out and bought
36:18
herself a bikini, and she went on to the beach
36:20
and she was proudly just being herself because she wanted
36:25
to wear a bikini. I don't know if you can
36:27
get the gravitas of how empowering that moment is, but
36:31
like it just in that moment, it just showed me
36:34
that a book can change a life, right like she
36:37
just she went from not loving her body to being
36:41
able to wear a bikini on the beach because she
36:44
read this book. And I'm like, my work, my work's
36:47
done here, I'm good.
36:49
Speaker 1: I think that's actually huge.
36:51
Speaker 6: You know, yeah, I know it is.
36:53
Speaker 1: It's huge because I don't know. And this is in
36:59
this is when I get back from men because because
37:02
they're like, well, what do you mean that that the
37:07
most important uh sex organ on a woman is her mind.
37:11
I was, like, it does It doesn't matter what size
37:18
she she is. If her mind isn't working, she's she's
37:27
not gonna be any good good in in the intimacy role.
37:32
Speaker 6: Right Yeah, And like a huge part of my whole,
37:38
like my whole practice is mindset. You know, my mindset
37:41
is such an overused term now, but it's true. Like
37:45
this whole this, this is this is a work book.
37:48
It's called You Me Bed Now, and this is all
37:52
about helping women switch their mindset from negative to positive,
37:58
like having like walking into the sexual experience, you know,
38:03
anticipating it and you know, having fun with it. And
38:06
how do you how do you move if you right
38:09
now don't want to have sex or feel like having sex?
38:13
You know, you love your partner and you want to
38:15
stay connected and you don't know how, but you don't
38:17
really like the sex part. So this helps you move
38:21
from you know to you know, you know, walking into
38:25
the experience going oh, this can be fun again. So
38:29
you know, I feel like you're absolutely correct. You can
38:34
have you know, the best body and the best lingerie
38:37
and the best everything. But if your mindset is negative,
38:41
you're not going to enjoy it no matter what. But
38:44
if you have a great mindset, it doesn't matter what
38:48
you look like or what you're wearing. It doesn't matter
38:51
because you're walking into the experience like whoa, it's time
38:54
to go, and like everybody you know, like that's that's
38:58
what your partner wants, right, It doesn't matter if you
39:00
have a little fat or you know, like you're not dressed,
39:03
or you didn't shave under your arms. It doesn't matter
39:06
because you're invested in your partner and you're invested in
39:10
that moment. And I think, you know, we you know,
39:14
one of the things that oftentimes happens with long term
39:18
partnerships is we forgot we forget to cherish and desire
39:22
our partner. And so you know, having that, you know,
39:25
showing our partner that we desire them and we cherish them,
39:30
you know, that's a really important part of keeping that connection.
39:35
Speaker 1: Yeah, on the cherish part, It's something I think might
39:42
be important is asking that person how they want to
39:46
be cherished.
39:47
Speaker 6: I think about that, Yeah, I you know, I I
39:53
never thought about it. So now you've given me something
39:56
to think about.
39:59
Speaker 1: Okay, so you've actually educated me quite a bit on
40:06
quite a number of things, like, oh did I never
40:10
never thought of so many, so many different ways that
40:17
that that women think about themselves. It's like, it's just
40:21
an amazing thing.
40:23
Speaker 6: So yeah, well, you know, if you want to do
40:25
a part two, like if you have, if you if
40:27
you go away from this and you have and you
40:29
think about it and then you have some more questions,
40:31
we can do a part two.
40:33
Speaker 1: Well, I think I think I may even keep you
40:37
as like maybe I should keep you as that relationship
40:40
consultant to bring back on again. I'm here for It's
40:48
like because hey, we're seeing this trend and things happening,
40:54
because we even haven't even touched any of the political
40:58
things that are happening around the world with women and
41:01
how that actually affects intimacy. Oh my gosh, as far
41:07
as like choices and healthcare and all that kind of stuff,
41:11
we're concerned. We haven't even gone down that road yet.
41:14
And it's something that we should talk about.
41:17
Speaker 6: Uh sure, it's a very it's it's really important, you know,
41:22
and we need and you know, we need platforms like
41:26
you to be able to talk about it.
41:29
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I'm not gonna I'm not going to touch
41:33
you the usual curveball question about the beautiful world in
41:36
this particular one, because that's what you've been describing this
41:39
whole time, is how to make a wonderful world for
41:44
us and our partners to live in. Yeah, but what
41:49
are the best ways to get a hold of you
41:51
and actually work with you as a therapist.
41:55
Speaker 6: So my website trying to read dot com. It has
41:58
my books and I have of some Oh I just
42:03
lost the word I. So I have online courses. So
42:06
I saw my website trainery dot com has my books
42:10
and it has my online courses. It's got freebies. Everybody
42:14
loves a freebie, so you know, if you just want
42:16
to try before you buy, you there's several freebies that
42:19
you can down you can download from there. Yeah, and
42:23
also if you could give me a follow on Instagram
42:26
or Facebook or I have two podcasts. The one is
42:31
the Pursuit of Pleasure podcast and the other is the
42:34
Sensational Sex Podcast that I co host with Amy Rowan,
42:38
who's from Georgia. And so you know, if you you know,
42:42
we talk about communication and you know, how do you
42:44
talk to your partner? And I just find if you listen, Like,
42:48
you can go on to my podcast and there's a
42:51
lot of different topics there and you can just listen
42:54
to this with your partner, and this is a great
42:57
way to break the ice and have that conversation. So
42:59
Amy and I, you know, we do a deep dive
43:02
into a lot of really complicated issues and she's got
43:06
her perspective, I've got my perspective, and I think as
43:10
a couple, it's a good place to start if you
43:14
want to start, you know, if you want to have
43:16
that conversation with your partner, like you can listen to
43:18
these podcasts or you can read my books too.
43:20
Speaker 1: Cool, awesome. You know, it's been great meeting you, and
43:27
to everybody out there, go to her website. Check it out.
43:33
I did. I was like amazed. Entertaining, informative, a great
43:42
mix of all of it. You'll find something in there
43:46
that will actually affect you and your partner's life on
43:51
on Traina's website. So uh, thank you again Trina for
43:56
coming on.
43:56
Speaker 6: Thank you for having me. It was lovely meeting you.
43:59
And anytime you want to do part two, you just
44:01
give me a call.
44:02
Speaker 1: Okay, look forward to to part two. Guys, if you're
44:06
listening and we'll see you next time.
44:10
Speaker 4: Help us so bad? So I don't know, so your
44:39
phone match what listen says, save me out.
45:05
Speaker 2: Job in the wall shows we can't t serva, so
45:50
she got start stop.
46:32
Speaker 1: The show has been produced by Depictions Media. Please contact
46:37
us at depictions dot media for more information