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Stronger Than Before: Chyna on Motherhood, Surrender & Finding Her Way Back · Tone It Down

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  The power of surrendering control is the most empowering thing that you can do.
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  I feel so much lighter when you're not trying to hold everything so tightly in your hand.
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  Hello and welcome back to Tonit Down every Tonit Down Tuesday. I'm really excited about this week's
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  episode. We are sitting down with China Ray, fresh off two days of filming the brand new Radiate
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  and Rise series for your app coming out in May. So China sits down. This is her very first solo
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  episode. She was definitely nervous and I'm so excited that she decided to do this. I want to do more
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  of these trainer episodes and solo episodes. But she sat down and really shared what's been on her
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  heart. She opens up about the unexpected curveballs that shaped the last six years of her life
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  from leaving the fitness world and discovering her inner artist to becoming a mother and finding
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  her way back to Tonit up in the community. This episode is warm, honest, and it's a reminder that
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  you don't always have it all figured out. And that's okay. And sometimes the most beautiful
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  chapters of your life might be the ones you never planned for. So in this episode, China
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  discusses how the curveballs you didn't see coming can lead to gifts you never would have found.
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  Otherwise, and always stay open to new ideas and sides of yourself, your creative self, your
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  athletic self, your nurturing self, they can all coexist and take turns. And she also discusses how
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  every unexpected chapter is an opportunity to discover just how multifaceted and capable you
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  truly are. This episode is about releasing your grip on how things should go opens up space for
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  something even greater to come. Enjoy this episode. Make sure you hit subscribe and share this
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  episode with someone you love who needs to hear this message from China.
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  Hey, everybody. It's your trainer China. This is the Tonit down podcast. This is my first solo
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  episode. I am so excited and not going to lie. I'm a little bit nervous. So we've been filming the
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  Radiate and Rise series the last two days. And it has been epic. I'm loving it. I'm loving all
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  the workouts. And the last two days I've known I'm going to film this podcast and I'm just like
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  circling and circling and circling because I have so much I want to say to you girls, especially
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  after six years kind of of a little bit of a separation. There's just so much of life that's
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  happened in so many ways that I've changed and we've all changed. So it's kind of hard to funnel
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  into what exactly I want to talk about. But it kind of led me to just the concept in general of
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  how many times in life something completely unexpected happens. Some curveball happens that just
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  changes your perspective on life in general. Honestly, I would love to hear stories from you girls
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  too because they're what inspire me so much is is just how I don't know how we as women can get
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  through certain things together that we didn't see coming. And so I was thinking of a few examples
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  and even honestly being here right now is a major curveball in my life doing these workouts again
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  and working out as intensely as I have been. I didn't know if I was ever going to do again.
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  Five, six years ago with toned up was a completely different stage. That was pre-baby. I was still in
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  my 20s and I was working out and I was working out for entirely different reasons. I was just coming
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  out of fitness modeling and I was very determined to be the best and that has its pros and its cons.
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  And I think out of the last five or six years I'm learning that my identity is not in being the best
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  per se. It's more in just being myself and being okay with whatever season I'm in. And that
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  stuff is so cliche and so easy to say but I feel like it's just a good reminder for all of us that
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  kind of the point of it all is figuring out who you are and being yourself and that's the win.
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  Yeah, five years ago I was no baby yet, never gone through a pregnancy and it's been really humbling
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  and really exciting to be filming these workouts again because I didn't see toned up coming back
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  into my life. I had no idea this was going to happen and I was kind of on and still I'm on a
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  trajectory really in the arts and have kind of opened myself a lot up to painting and writing
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  and creating. If you follow me on Instagram you've seen a lot of this and that came from the
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  unexpected curveball of leaving the fitness industry. So every curveball that's happened in life
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  over the last six years has kind of led to something even greater than you think. So toned up right
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  now bringing fitness back into my life as something that I didn't see coming has just been a really
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  cool experience to remember how multifaceted we are as women. It's like the fitness side of me
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  sure it's been dormant for a little bit but it's still in there or the creative side of me that
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  I didn't know that I had when I was more involved with fitness was able to come out because toned up
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  and I separated for a little bit and when that first separation happened the few years after
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  toned up we're kind of confusing in a really good way because it was the first time I was evaluating
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  what I want to keep doing it was a confusing time and I'm sure so many of us have been in that where
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  it's like what I'm doing isn't quite working for me at the moment at this stage in my life
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  but I don't exactly know what's next and they're really scary places to be
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  but it was kind of some of the greatest years in my life having to dig so deep in realizing that
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  who I am isn't what I do and who I am isn't what I've accomplished continuing to answer those
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  questions of like okay well who am I without fitness modeling who am I without toned up who am I
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  without leading workouts because that wasn't exactly the stage in my life and I realized that
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  something cool that happened is I discovered there was a whole new thing inside of me that I don't
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  think I ever would have seen if I kept going in the trajectory of fitness so if there's anything
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  in your life right now that feels a little confusing because it doesn't look like how you thought
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  it would look I challenge you to start looking at it from a different perspective so all of that
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  whirlwind to say I don't know I've just been processing the last two days about curveballs taking
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  place that I didn't see coming that I thought my plan was my life direction was going a certain way
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  nope it's not going that way or you know for better or for worse and at the end of the day just
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  the power of surrendering control of your plans is the most empowering thing that you can do
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  because when you think about it it opens up so much more space for the universe for love for God
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  for whatever you believe in to open up now and to move in your life and so if there's something
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  that's like a scary transition because I think that's what the last couple years have been for me a
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  lot of vulnerable transitions but the more that I would let go and lean into it the more space
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  there was for that force to enter in and kind of surprise me I just kept getting surprised at
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  every corner I was like wait you're telling me there's an artist in me that I never would have
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  seen if I would have continued on my you know fitness modeling track that I was getting burnt out of
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  and scared to leave but I left and discovered you know all of these kind of jewels inside of me that
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  I didn't know same with coming back to tone it up where I'm like okay well now I'm on this creative
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  journey and I'm loving writing but tone it up arrived once again which I had I just feel so
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  grateful for so the last few years the levels and levels and levels of surrender have been huge
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  and every single time I've surrendered more life has opened up even more and it's so funny how
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  fear works that way where it's like every layer of surrender is so scary but you don't realize
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  how much more is on the other side of it and the more trust you put out there the more you can
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  receive but the more that I kind of wanted control of my plans and wanted to know what was ahead
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  the more rigid it felt and honestly the more scary it felt because you feel like it's all in your
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  shoulders so I don't know I'm just talking full circle here because I've been processing a lot with
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  my last two days back at tone it up and how I never pictured being here I never pictured this coming
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  back into my life and I never knew if I could do it again after having a baby to be honest and so
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  I'm just really grateful for the last few years of having to learn how to surrender and then just be
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  so grateful for everything that shows up in your path because I didn't see this coming but someone
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  saw what I needed and put it right in front of me and I needed this community at the moment and
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  I'm so grateful for that and so moving forward I just feel like life feels so much lighter when
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  you're not trying to hold everything so tightly in your hands like an exercise that I literally do
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  is that my hands when I I don't even know how tight they are sometimes we don't even know how
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  tight and clenched our fists can be holding on to stuff that were so scared to lose and I literally
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  flip it over and let it go I surrender it I put it out there and I can feel if you if you do this
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  with me tell me if you feel it too but I can through that action that mind body connection I can feel it
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  open up in my chest and realize how much I was trying to carry that is not mine to carry
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  so just remember today every day honestly every morning I've been waking up surrendering to the day
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  and when you let go of all of that pressure and expectation that we put on ourselves nobody's
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  putting pressure on you this is so much of this is us putting it on ourselves I'm not saying nobody
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  but for the most part we're our harshest critics so waking up surrendering and then I
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  it just allows you to be light and to be free and to be open and to be excited about what's ahead
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  and I don't know I'm really inspired and I'm really grateful to be with you girls and I really
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  want to hear kind of the last five years of how much life has changed for you because I've
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  heard a lot of us have been on some roller coasters and there's a good chance that we're all in a
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  similar place now of kind of learning that life isn't something you can control so many curveballs
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  the last few years I mean my mother-in-law passed away I got pregnant unexpectedly I just didn't
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  think that I was ready for it so talk about another curve ball of kind of having plans set before
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  me and then finding out I'm pregnant which I am so grateful for but not thinking I was ready for
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  was a really unique experience because I felt so grateful but then I felt like I thought I
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  would be more prepared or more ready for such a change like this and that was one of the coolest
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  experiences of my life it's it's again the same thing happened where I didn't know that I was
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  ready for it but you just keep moving and you just keep moving forward with the train of life
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  and then I get to discover oh my gosh I've been ready for this I had no idea but I'm actually
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  made for this to do this and that was another curve ball of life the last few years that I'm
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  super grateful for and it's not that it's amazingly easy but it is so rewarding and now raising
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  Kai as soon as I think I have something figured out and I'm like oh I know what to do I know how to
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  get him to sleep I know how another curve ball comes in so pretty much that's kind of in the theme
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  and that's what's been on my heart lately is wow these curve balls of life are really trying to
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  keep showing me that I can never control life more than I realize that and I'm the more that I
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  flow with it and then I trust life and I trust that it's working for my good and I trust that
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  good things are coming life just gets so much later and that's where I feel right now I'm just so
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  grateful to be with you guys I'm so happy to be back on this set I'm so proud of these workouts
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  that we're making the first challenge you did the fall challenge was really a great intro for me
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  back into the program and the workouts were intense but there's something different happening
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  with the summer series it's like reconnecting with the athlete and me that I haven't been connected
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  to in a while that I didn't know was still in there and I hope if you're doing this series with
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  us or if you plan to do this series with us that you get to have those similar experiences if
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  you haven't been working out recently and you're you're trying it again that you just get to wake
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  up and return to parts of you that are still in there they're still in there anyways wrapping
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  this conversation wrapping up these last few years of life that have been ups and downs and curveballs
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  and so many unexpected things I didn't know we're going to happen in my 20s or my 30s reminder trust
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  your intuition trust your gut trust that life is working for you and that things are working for
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  your good and you do not have to have it all figured out the goal is realizing I don't have to play
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  my own life there is such a relief in that in kind of letting life unfold unfold out of you instead
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  of thinking you got to play on the whole thing and control it life is so much more freeing this way
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  and it's something that I wish I would have known a long time ago and wish I would have more
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  fearlessly acted on because I would say I knew it but it was too scary to open my fist and actually
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  let go of that control and if I did that so much sooner how I can just feel how much more present
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  I could have been and grateful I could have been and how different my perspective every day could
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  have been on enjoying this life instead of worrying every second about how I'm going to control
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  the next step so hoping this all makes sense you got this it's okay if you don't have it figured out
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  it's okay if you have no idea what's next because I didn't know tone it up was about to call me back
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  and my life changed within a week and that keeps happening I'm sure it keeps happening to you so
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  you don't know what's ahead it's okay if you don't have anything planned out literally sometimes it's
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  the best place to be so I can't wait to have more of these conversations I'm so glad I got to just
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  sit and do a little catch up and man be ready for this summer series because these workouts are
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  some of my they're coming for you and there's some of my favorites that we've ever done
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  love you it's China once again and I will talk to you guys soon
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  you