Latest / Curiously Guided Podcast / Ep.05 | Navigating the Highs & Lows of Owning a Business With Ash Burnside of Healing Hustle Co

Transcript

Ep.05 | Navigating the Highs & Lows of Owning a Business With Ash Burnside of Healing Hustle Co · Curiously Guided Podcast

• 0:05
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome back to the Curiously Guided Podcast.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_02: We're your hosts, Mariah and Jay, two intuitive business strategists exploring the intersection of entrepreneurship, spirituality, and the subconscious mind.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_02: And y'all, man, this episode, episode number five, we are so insanely stoked for it.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_02: So this is our very first guest interview with Ash Burnside of Healing Hustle Co.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_02: And we're basically talking about self-care, mental health, ADHD.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_02: We dive into like this whole spectrum of really juicy information.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_02: And it also includes like so many little pockets of like transformation and like challenging darkness, but also like a shit ton of magic.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, let's just go into Ashley's bio real quick and then we'll talk more about the episode.
• 1:04
  unknown: Yeah.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: So this was actually my first time meeting Ashley.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um her and Mariah have known each other for quite a bit.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I was really just blown away by her.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: Mariah and I both re-listened to the episode this morning and we're texting each other.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_01: Can you believe how incredible this is?
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so excited.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: It's definitely one that will leave you feeling inspired and encouraged.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: Ashley is an incredible human and her journey is so relatable.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: She is a multi-passionate spiritualist and serial entrepreneur herself.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_01: She calls herself a master marketer and she's built funnels, multiple six-figure launch campaigns for a variety of different businesses, from creative solopreneurs launching their first Oracle deck into the world to make up brands like Boss Babe.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: She was featured as one of Yahoo Finance's top 10 marketing coaches in 2020, but has recently been heeding the call of spirit to slow down, tune in, and work with her gifts in a far more purposeful and impactful way than a marketing alone.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: When she's not chasing her three boys or recovering from her latest fiction book binge, you can find her helping to heal others when it comes to all things burnout boundaries and self-care.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_01: Just in our hour-long conversation with Ash, I definitely think she helped me heal some things around burnout boundaries and self-care.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: This conversation was so nourishing, and I'm really excited to share it with you guys.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and I do think, like when I first reached out to her to see if she would be interested on, you know, being a guest on the podcast, my initial idea was that we would be talking about like the shame in the online business world if you go from working for yourself full time to working for somebody else.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_02: Because, you know, as you dive deeper into the episode, Ashley kind of goes through and talks about that.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_02: But like the conversation became so much more than that in the best way.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_02: Like we were blown away by her transparency and just like her opening up and being vulnerable about our story, um, especially over the like past couple of years, because you know, as you're gonna find out, she went through some different periods of some dark times and some challenging things.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_02: And just like her story is just so incredible.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_02: And like, I feel like we went through so many different areas in such a short amount of time.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I feel like it was like a time warp because it was like, I don't know, like looking at the clock, it was like that was only 60 minutes because we end up talking about like neurodiversity, exploring ADHD.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_02: And yeah, Shay was saying we were listening to this episode back, and I was just like, I need to re-listen to this every month.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_02: This is such a good conversation.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_01: Well, without further ado, let's hop right into it.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_02: Ash, dude, we are so excited that you said yes to being a guest on the podcast.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_02: We got some really, some really cool questions and just like perspectives that I think that we want to dive into, especially around things in business and like spirituality and like the combination of both and just like the shit that nobody really talks about.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm really grateful that like you're you're here to kind of talk about it.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_02: And it's funny, me and Shay, yeah, me and Shay were talking, and Shay was like, How did you unash me?
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, I have no idea.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I do you know?
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_02: No, I don't.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_02: I have no idea.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my god, that's so funny.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe you know what?
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna put this on Instagram.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_02: I was probably stalking somebody and then found yours, and then I think it was your branding like three years ago.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_02: It's changed a lot for a while.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, that's probably accurate.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and I think that I reached out and I was like, honey, do you want to be my friend and have coffee?
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_02: And then you were really nice and said yes.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_02: And I feel like we've just been like supporting each other on the interwebs ever since.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, that sounds right.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, the internet is so is it a virtual coffee?
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_01: Are you guys located near each other?
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: No, it was like a virtual nice.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, I'm a human, you're a human.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: Dope.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: Let's be friends.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: I gotta meet up.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I love that.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_01: That's my favorite part of business, I think.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_01: And honestly, it's probably one of the the best, really, is like building relationships like that slowly.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_02: Agree.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I agree.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_02: So, Ash, you just want to give me give us like the spiel, just like who are you?
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_02: How did you how did you get here?
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like this, there's so many layers to this question.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like, this is a lot to unpack, okay?
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but if I give you like high-level overview, I'm a master marketer, turned healer.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm also a multi-passionate person.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, not gonna lie to you, there's a lot going on in my world at pretty much at all any point in time.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I work for a major brand right now as their head of funnels.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I do have a nine to five, which has been a fun adventure to juggle.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then I also have my marketing side hustle still, and then I do uh been getting more into healing and like building up a kind of, yeah, it's like a safe space basically of like let's talk about all the cringy things that no one wants to talk about so we can all get healthy.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so really that's kind of a really high-level overview of like the things that I'm doing and like how I I guess it's not really how I got here though.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: How I got here was a really long, ugly, dark journey that no one talks about.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: And again, that's like kind of why I wanted to create a space and why I'm so excited to be here to talk about it because it was like this dark journey.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: I I had been working in marketing for five years.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: This was last year.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I don't know what happened.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: I I'm assuming it's some sort of like cosmic awakening because like out of nowhere, I started having um really intense remembering episodes um from some traumatic experiences of like things that like I genuinely didn't think happened to me.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like I just had put it out of my mind for so long.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um the universe was like, now's a good time to do your shadow work.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: Here you go.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: One-on-one, we're gonna crash course.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, what?
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: So went through all of that, and it was just like going through that intensity and then also trying to act like everything's fine, shiny marketing, like buy the things.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, I don't have a soul anymore if I keep doing this, like absolutely not, I can't.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so that like just took like a like it's straight up a sabbatical.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's also one of the reasons why I got a nine to five job where I was just like, I can't, like, I need to take care of me.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um and yeah, so there's kind of the fast forward of like, here we go, here's how I got here.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, that's incredible.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you so much for sharing that.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_02: Obviously, like I had no idea of the backstory and things like that.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like there's so many, so many paths that we can go down here.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_02: Shay, you have any questions?
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: I just want to say that I I feel like I'm along with you.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know everything that you were saying.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, yes, yes, exactly.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_01: This past year has been a rough ride for me as well.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I actually have joined a team, joined a couple teams and more of like a consulting role.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_01: And it's been such a relief because my capacity to wear all the hats just feels like depleted.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_01: So to join a team and just be able to focus on one thing and let other people kind of lift you, it's been a really re-energizing thing.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: I had forgotten about how nice it is to be in collaboration like that.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_01: So I just really like to resonate with that journey a lot.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_01: That's so um interesting and relatable.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like a lot of people shame that too.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's something that I see in the business world a lot of like, oh, we're gonna nine to five, or like it's somehow a failure if you go get a nine to five.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, but no, no, why?
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: Where did it come from?
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_02: I I agree.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like there's so many perspectives in terms of just like how to teach people or guide people in leaving their nine to five because growing their own business is the answer.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_02: And there's not a lot of information about like what happens if you're going through some shit or you want some space and you don't you don't want to have to juggle everything on your own.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, another like big catalyst, like literally, I feel like everything happened at once last year.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: So like I started having these really intense remembering, which ended up being PTSD that I got help for.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I also had undiagnosed ADHD, which was like, hello, like this is what no wonder my life felt so hard because I had no idea that I had this.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: So I had no way to give myself any sort of grace, no understanding of like the different type of support that I would need, no understanding of like, oh, my brain works in this way, which means that I need to establish these types of symptoms.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_01: Let's dive in here for a little bit about like neurodiversity and how I've heard that entrepreneurs are like, it's like one in or it's it's very you're a lot more likely to end up in entrepreneurship.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's like 70% or something.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like a massive, which makes sense because like one of the big struggles with being neurodivergent is that like it's it's hard to stick to a thing, like it's hard to stay in a lane because we want to like go in all these directions and we have all this energy, and we need the variety because dopamine, like that's that's the whole thing.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so being an entrepreneur like gives you that flexibility.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you can determine your days, you can determine what you're focusing on, you can determine what you're passionate about, and like, yeah, so it makes sense.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, oh, of course, of course.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_02: Holy shit, my brain is like melting through my ears in the best way.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_02: Because I feel like the only thing that I have heard about this, like why you're interested in so many things, is because you're a manifesting generator.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, like that's literally like the only lane that I've seen correlate with business owners.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, well, I'm not a manifesting generator.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_02: So am I not supposed to like different things?
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I don't know.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: So I feel like this is wow.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: This is this is, I think, what's really important about like getting to know yourself, like being able to create space for yourself to just get to know yourself and take care of yourself, but also in like really marrying the spiritual part with like actual practical, real life things.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because for me, one of the one of the big catalysts last year, what made me even start looking into this was obviously I was like in a space of crisis, like not doing well.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: I had a business coach at the time who was very much like she just didn't get it, and she wasn't willing to look at the practical side of it.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: She's like, Oh, you're a manifesting generator, like you just need to do all of these things.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: And like obviously, as an ADHDer, I'm like, what?
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that's impossible.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that's literally you can't give me a list like that.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: What do you mean just just to do these things?
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: 15 things every single what?
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: How?
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so it was this huge.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we had a huge falling out because it was just I felt so incredibly unseen because again, like there was no willingness to be like, hey, you know what?
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like, it sounds like you might have something else going on here.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why don't you, you know, like that would have been safer for everybody to be like, hey, this is outside of my realm.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like, maybe consider, you know, checking out.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: You'd have to refer to me to therapist, but even like, hey, there's these creators that I think have some helpful information for you.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why don't you go check them out?
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: But it was like nothing like that.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: And it was just, it was awful.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's not great, but yeah.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_02: Or even like diving into the resistance of like, what is it like asking those questions to be like, okay, this seems really overwhelming for you.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_02: So, like, let's break it down piece by piece by piece by piece by piece and keep asking questions and hold that safe space for support.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_01: One thing Ryan, I talk about is wanting to shift away from that coaching norm coaching norm of I'm gonna try to fit your square peg in my round hole, you know, like this is the way to do it.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_01: And I I my first coach was very much like that.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I had a lot of shame because I could not make it work, like she wanted me to make it work.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so it's it's a bit relieving for me to hear you say that too.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's a common journey a lot of people go through.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I think a lot of the problem too is like, and this is like me speaking from a marketing perspective now, is like people, you want to be able to sell the framework and like here's how you would do it.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's flexible so you can fit into it.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: That's the ethical way to market something, that's the ethical way to sell something.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: What it goes wrong is when they're selling the dream, like they're trying to implant their dreams into your head and be like, these are the steps you have to get to get this dream.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: You're like, Well, that's not my dream, though.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: And then it's then you get this like weird resistance like, why isn't this working?
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: There's something wrong with me, but like there's something wrong.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: You just that's just not your dream.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, wow.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like, yeah, absolutely.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_01: And it's so easy to just pick up everybody else's dreams and work toward them.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_01: It's weird to see how common that is.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you dress them up, they look shiny, they're beautiful, and like honestly, when you really dig into it, discovering your dreams is a lot of work.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that's work.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: So it's easy.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, of course it's easy to pick up.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I would say just from my experience, I obviously like I went through a different path, but I feel like we all came to like the same conclusion of like, if I'm gonna have a business, I'm gonna need to run it in a way that feels really good for me.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_02: And like, how do I ask questions?
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_02: Where do I find these questions?
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_02: What do I do in order to figure that out?
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_02: Because, like, in the marketing, in the business world, it's very much like you do this to be successful, you do this and you want this and you want that.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_02: And then it's like, wait a minute, but what if I don't want that?
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_02: And then I'm comparing myself to all of these other people because they seem to want that.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm the different one.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_02: So then it's like coming back to this place of trusting yourself, which our entire lives we've never been taught how to do.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, no, it's not profitable to trust yourself.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: At least rather than that.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_01: That's a good way to put it.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_02: So how like how did that transition go?
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_02: Like, can you walk us through like what happened?
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_02: You're like, you're realizing that you really need some space, and then you get this nudge to maybe look into a nine to five.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_02: Did the nine to five fall into your lap?
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_02: Like, man, how did this happen?
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: From the period of August to December was really hard, really dark, and chuck full of magic.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like every time I look back, I'm like, what?
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like, how did I not see all this stuff going on?
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: So um I'm gonna like take you through a little bit more.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, in August is when I started remembering.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I started remembering specifically after I told the universe, I'm ready.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm ready for whatever the next step is.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: And like, universe is like, you got it, girl, it's carrying for you.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, no, wait, that's not what I meant.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: No, wait, I take it back.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so sorry.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't mean it.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: So I was like, yeah, no, it was like, here you go, crash course, all your shadow shit, deal with it.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, no, not ready.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: So went through all that, started the intense remembering.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's when, so like September, October, very dark.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I things were not good.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like I was, I was in a loop.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I don't know how familiar you are with like PTSD, but like you get pulled into loops um where like nothing exists, like you are not in the present time, you don't know what's happening around you.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: All you're you're just in that memory happening over and over again because your your brain is trying to process it.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um and it was really, it was really hard.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um I uh I I really got to the point where I I didn't know if I could keep living.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um I started a countdown for myself where I was like, I I don't think this is it.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like if I have to keep waking up to this, I don't want to wake up anymore.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so I made it all the way down to uh two days until I was going to Wow, I have like full body chills.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for being so transparent about this.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_00: This is I want to talk about this.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: This is important stuff.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um two days until I was going to unalive myself.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: I like still can't bring myself to fully say it.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um and uh this whole time, right after I had told the universe in August that I was ready for whatever, I didn't know what I was ready for, but I started getting calls from myself on my cell phone.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_00: And it would happen every time I got in the car.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, yeah, oh yeah, there's more.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like sweating over the first time it happened, I was like, what's going on?
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: Cause like I'm a mom, I have three boys, I drive a van because like there's no other way to exist.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so there's Bluetooth in my van.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: Every time I hop in, like it just connects to itself.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: And it never done this before.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: I've owned my van for years, there's nothing wrong with it.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: But like I took it in to get like tuned up again.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, something's going on with the radio.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm getting calls from myself, and they're like were looking at me like no, you're not.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: But like I would look because I have caller ID on the Bluetooth that comes through, it says the name, it would say Ashley, and then it had my number coming through on the thing, and like on the Bluetooth in my van, it just automatically picks it up.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: So it would pick up this call and it's just static.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, what is this?
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: And like the first time it happened, that's why I took it in.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I was like, there's something wrong, like something's wrong.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: And then it kept happening.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: And like when it got to that really intense period when I was in my countdown, it was happening every day, multiple times a day.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I would I would all the time, all the time, all the time, all the time.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: And like I finally I had a dream where in the dream the calls were coming from me from now, and it was like me, it was like basically the whole concept was your future is calling.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_00: What is she saying?
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_00: And it was like, it was yes, like seriously.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: So it was a combination of like that, and just like I like was randomly getting these people that were reaching out to me of like, hey, I just wanted to check on you.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, I've not fucking heard from you forever.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like, where did you come from?
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: And it was like, it just felt like like this reality and and this universe kept trying to like send me little things to like tether me back down to earth because I did not, I didn't think I was gonna be here.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, so made it through that period of like huge transformation, huge like dark night of the soul, September, October, November.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like starting to get out of it.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_00: I started therapy in October, which was also like therapy's great, but like no one tells you how hard it is.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's amazing, but like really fucking hard.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's horrible.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like, okay, good.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um yeah, super hard.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so, but like doing it.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_00: I when I started therapy, I was like, I don't want to feel like this.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: Here's what's up, here's what's wrong.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_00: We don't have to spend any time digging.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like, this is exactly what I need to talk about.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: And she's like, okay, okay, let's go.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_00: And so like got through that.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: November was it was slowly getting better.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: By December, I had at least um gotten out.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't looping so much anymore.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: I was starting to see, like, okay, like there's a there's a reality that exists.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm not in my head all the time.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I uh I don't even know, like the the job honestly kind of fell in my lap.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: So throughout the summer, I had started a certification program to become a certified master marketer.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I was plugged into this really cool community of other marketers, and um, they have a really awesome ethics, like they're just like they're great people, it's a great program.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I got through, I got connected to a couple of people, and like randomly one day, someone in there she was like, Hey, um, I work for this brand now, and we are hiring these types of people.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_00: Are you these people?
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: And this group is not very big, it's like 800 people or less.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I was like, I'm that people.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_03: I think I could do that.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I almost talked myself out of it.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: So I was like, I don't, I don't know if I have the experience.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what if I don't feel like what if I don't get it?
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what happens?
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, fuck that.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm just gonna try because the worst is no.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_00: The worst case is no.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna let myself talk myself out of it.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: And then like got the interview, like smashed the interview.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_00: It was amazing, and then like immediately got the job within like a two week period of me not even thinking that I wanted this.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_00: To like, I'm starting in nine to five now, and I'm like, what just happened?
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what's happening right now?
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_00: So, and it was really healing because that gave me the space to continue to like create this space for myself, continue to heal and um yeah, take the take the space that I needed for my business.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Business to kind of like reorganize my life, my brain and my soul.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_01: And you still now have kept something on the side, right?
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_01: Like, so are you you've got the nine to five, are you moonlighting?
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_01: Or um, you know, you still have kind of a personal passion business that's going on.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: So have the nine to five.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, I took a nice healthy break in July, was the first time that like someone, it was similar to like Ryan and I, where she like, we've been friends in just like revolving around each other for a couple of years and just supporting each other.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_00: And she was like, You're the first person I thought of.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm doing this thing, I don't know how to do this thing, it's a marketing thing.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like, will you help me?
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, Yeah, let's do an intensive, I guess.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, that was the first thing where I was like, Oh, this is fun.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I like working with people again.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_00: Great, spark's back, let's do something with this.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, it's just yeah, like you were saying everything fell in exactly when it needed to fall in.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_02: Did you now did you deal with any like, because we kind of talked about like the shame that comes from like having the nine to five when you were thinking about applying and like leaving your business, even though you literally didn't even have space to run a business?
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_02: Was there still like some shame there that you had to work through?
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_02: Or were you kind of just like, um, I'm open to anything, somebody please help me.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_00: It was kind of 50-50.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, obviously, the other one really won out.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: It was there though.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: The shame was there of like, because this was also like pre-ADHD diagnosis.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like that diagnosis has given me so much grace for myself to be like, this is what I need, and I'm not gonna feel bad about it because this is the way I am.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_00: The end.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so how empowering there was a lot of shame of like, am I a failure?
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like, does this mean I'm a failure because I'm going to this thing?
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: And like the other part was so loud, like, no, do it.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you need this.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_00: I literally can't.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like, no.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_02: Did you so?
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, from from your examples and your story and everything, it sounds like your intuition is very loud and like likes to come through in undeniable ways.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_02: Has it always been like that?
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_00: I've always had a very strong gut response.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't always call it intuition because I wasn't always as um spiritual as I am now.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_00: Probably like four or five years ago.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um, probably when I actually started getting into marketing, I went through like a whole revolution of self and I started getting really spiritual.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so it always been there.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know how to trust it like I do now.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like that is something that self-trust of like, is my intuition talking, and I'm definitely gonna listen to her now.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like that is something that has been cultivated pretty recently because I didn't used to listen to it.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like we talked about that in a previous episode.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_02: And I used the example of my mom.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_02: Like I grew up and she was always like, Trust your gut, trust your gut.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_02: And like, so it's like we grew up hearing something like that, but like never really hearing the words of like intuition, intuitive hits, like follow the curiosity, trust yourself, even though that's what they're saying.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_02: But it's like we have to go through this, like, I don't know if it's like an up level, if it's a transformation, whatever it is, until we start feeling safe to call it intuition.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_00: It is like that, it's got a whole um, I guess, yeah, it's got like a whole vibe to it that people, you either are for it or you're not.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_00: And it's the same thing.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like we're all talking about the same thing, it just has different words.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_00: So, but yeah, yeah, agree.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_01: You know, one thing I'd love to talk with, like dive in a little bit, is this idea of choosing, you know, choosing this path, following intuition.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_01: The words I chose for this year were trust and surrender.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I have just been like looking back, I'm like, what was I thinking?
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_01: Why did I choose these words?
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_01: Because I do think when you choose an area, you know, you're having that kind of intuitive hit, you know, hey, there's something here, I'm gonna focus on this.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_01: It shows up for you.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I like that phrase you um used, hard, dark, and chalk full of magic.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_01: Because I definitely think those up-level moments, that's such a nice way to describe that.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_01: Because it's it's a lot.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_01: And um man, I I feel like I have a million little side streets I want to go down with you.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_01: Mariah, are you happy with the origin story?
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_01: Can we kind of like dive in?
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, go for it, Chad.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_01: So, Ash, I want to know, let's start with the ADHD diagnosis.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_01: This is something that I am going through.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_01: I know a lot of female entrepreneurs are dealing with.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_01: Women are especially underdiagnosed.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I know that TikTok is really revolutionizing information in the space, and it's uh allowing a lot of people to find community and to share resources.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I am on the journey myself and I keep, I'm wondering, you seem to be like me, where my life I've been pretty high achieving, I can mask well.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I'm it's been hard to get started, honestly.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_01: I've tried to talk about it with my therapist, and I kind of get a lot of, you seem like you're doing fine.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_01: So, would you mind kind of walking through us?
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_01: How did you go from TikTok video to like getting diagnosis?
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what did that, if you mind, if you don't mind.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, I'm happy to talk about this because it's it was a little unconventional the way that I approached it.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it definitely with the theme of self-trust.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I had been, I started like getting a lot of like the ADHD TikTok, and I'm like, this is me.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like they are describing my life and my brain and my thought.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like, how is it on this on point?
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_00: So that was like what really started turning me on to be like, I need to at least talk to someone about this.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like, this is a whole thing.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I didn't really know anyone in my family, I didn't know anyone personally, like I didn't know anyone that I could talk to that had this, especially that was in a similar situation.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like that was a woman that had masked her whole life, that was a high achiever that like, because it yeah, it was the same thing.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_00: People were like, Oh, you're so successful.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, I'm dying on the inside.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_00: So um, yeah.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_00: So going from TikTok, I had brought it up with my therapist.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I will say the therapist that I worked with was not a psychologist.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_00: So she wasn't even, she didn't have the capacity to like do diagnoses.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, she gave me the same kind of like dismissive, like, you're doing okay, and you know what, we're gonna focus on this PTSD thing.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, I think, I think they might be related though.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like, can we please like talk about them together?
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_01: Well, the other thing I've heard a lot of people say is like, yeah, women are just expected to do a lot.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_01: It's really, you know, they like kind of put it on like the you know, invisible labor woman thing.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, no, it's more than that, and I don't really know how to describe it.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_01: So thank you.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, no, it is though, and like that really frustrates me because I'm like, first of all, don't invalidate me.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_00: Second of all, I know myself.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_00: Third of all, my brain is quite literally wired differently than yours.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_00: You take brain imaging scans, different parts of my brain light up than yours.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_00: They're different, like you can't just say it's just different expectations.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_00: We have different like now, it's not what it is.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_00: So got dismissed by my therapist, and I just like I'm a Virgo, so like I will be freakish about finding every avenue that works and like doing the pro and con list, making a spreadsheet.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_00: And so, like, there was a creator, I'm gonna have to look her up.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, she was on Instagram and she was like, she posted these cute little graphics for like ADHD things about like diagnoses, and then she started talking about self-diagnoses.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, what is this thing?
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_00: She had this really awesome, like 30-page workbook basically, where she's just going through symptoms.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_00: And so, like, you would rate on a scale of like one to 10, like, how intensely do you experience this symptom or how often?
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then you would go and interview what an incredible thing to find.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_02: Can I just pause here for a moment?
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just like, wait a minute.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_02: So you were on TikTok and then you were on Instagram looking at online business owners, and then just happen, like air quotes ironically, irony is not a thing, but like find this workbook to help you self-yeah, I know, I know.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_00: There's so much alignment that's just it's too much.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so found this workbook and working through it.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_00: The other helpful part of it, so you rate your symptoms, how intense you experience them, how often.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because those are things that a psychologist would ask you.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_00: And then a you also We linked to this in the show notes.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_02: I think that for our listeners, this might be super helpful.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'll find the link.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_00: I'll send it to you guys after this.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_00: You can include it.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_00: Cool.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um, um, so going through this, and then you also you go and you interview family and friends to ask them about this.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like there was parts of it where I was like, so one of the the things that's really common is um I say what all like I don't I might know what you said, but my brain is still processing what you said.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_00: So I say what just automatically, and or people think that I'm not listening, but I'm so involved in what I'm doing that I can't disengage one part of my brain to tell you that I heard what you said.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like I just I just can't.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_00: And so that was something that was in there.
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like, does it ever seem like I'm not listening to you, or that I say what a lot?
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_00: And when did you first think that I, or when did you first see that I was doing it?
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm like asking my mom these questions, and she's like, Oh, she's like, I we had you evaluated for hearing when you were little, and like I started getting all these stories without saying that this was ADHD.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just asking about symptoms because I didn't want the weirdness of like you don't have ADHD.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so I got all these stories.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, oh my gosh, like I have proof, I have concrete evidence now.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_00: And so there is another, I I looked, I did again my all my assessments, all my things.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_00: I found all the local psychologists.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_00: There's like like specifically like ADHD and um neurodivergent psychologists in my area, like all these people.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_00: My problem that I then hit was coverage and insurance because it is hella expensive to get diagnosed.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_00: It was between like$800 and$1,200 to get diagnosed out of pocket.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's after insurance that you still have to pay for.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, that's not very accessible.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_00: And like this is important to me.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like, this is this is a way for me to validate myself.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_00: This is a way for me to know what to even look up in the future for how to help myself.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I want this.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_00: And so more research later, uh, I found I think it's called ADHD online, so adhdonline.com.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I ended up doing that.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_00: And basically, they ended up, you take an assessment, that assessment gets sent to a psychologist that is located in your state, and your state psychologist will review your stuff and then provide you with the diagnosis or not.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_00: So I have a formal diagnosis.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_00: I went about it in a very roundabout way, but that workbook was also really helpful because I already had all the answers to every question he was asking me about that.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_00: I could just copy, paste, copy, paste, copy, paste.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_01: You know what's in.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_01: I think oh go ahead.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_01: Sorry.
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, sorry.
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_00: Uh that assessment was only like 150 bucks.
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm like, I can do that.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_00: Diagnose for 150.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_00: Here we go.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_00: Done.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I just there's an awesome Facebook group.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like our resources section of this show is gonna uh blow up, but there's this Facebook group, it's called um ADHD for smart ass women or something.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, oh my gosh, I love that community.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_01: And they just had a big feed about that ADHD online and how helpful that's been to so many people.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_01: And that blew my mind because I've been feeling a bit just like frustrated and like, oh, how am I gonna find all these people?
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so that seems like such um a cool solution, a very modern solution, but I'm happy to have that avenue.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_02: This is incredible.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I didn't even know that there was that kind of thing available.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_02: I know.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_02: Ash, you are literally like when I say that my brain is melting out of my ears in the best way, like this holy shit.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_02: Can you just give us an example of like something that you have to do differently that like really works for you now that now that you know?
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_00: Ooh.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_00: Man, this is in so many different okay.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so one of the things that I have to do is I list out, ooh, actually, oh gosh, I have so many.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_00: There was like one and then two, and now there's eight.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um so um I have to list out everything that I do.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like, so I have a morning checklist that I put right next to the clipboards where my kids' chores are, because I literally don't remember routines.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's little stupid, mundane things like that that your brain is supposed to just hold, like short-term memory.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_00: These are things that we do to like keep life moving.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like that doesn't work in my brain at all.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's not there.
• 34:51
  SPEAKER_00: So anything that needs to be done on a routine basis, like I have to have it visually represented somewhere.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_00: So like my checklist is like take your vitamins, make sure you eat breakfast, fill up your water bottle for the day, make sure you have your lunch set aside, otherwise I'll just forget to eat lunch.
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um, put away the clean dishes, like little things that make my life easier.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_00: That like it just without that, it would never occur to me to get those things done.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_00: That's one example.
• 35:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_00: The other example is I started building um basically a second brain.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I have like a digital kind of command center basically of just like it's got everything in there.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_00: I've got like a board of like, here's all thoughts that I don't want to forget.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like it could be like a product that I heard, or like someone bought this cool thing on Amazon.
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to, I don't want to forget, but I'm not ready to add it to my cart yet.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_00: And someone told me about this cool concept.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, there was like the whole like if your left ear is ringing, it means this thing.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_00: If your right ear is ringing at this pitch, it means this thing.
• 35:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, oh, I don't want to forget that.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, put that in there, and then like I've got routines in there, like everything that doesn't fit in my brain is now in my digital command center.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_00: But like, I don't know.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_01: What platform is your digital command center on?
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_00: Trello.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so I just set one up for Notion, but it's like I've been calling it my second brain.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_01: So I was really excited when you said that.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_01: I heard the phrase, you know, use your brain as a processing tool, not a storage tool.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_01: And that's very helpful for me.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_01: So I have Idea Island because I am like you where I'm constantly like one, two, eighty.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_01: So I gotta get them down, or else we'll just keep pinging around and I can't do anything else.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, real allowing systems to come in and support you has been a big help for me.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I resisted that for a while because my inner rebel like wants to rebel against routine, but the ADHD brain needs that support system.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes.
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_00: And it's been really cool though, too, because like by supporting myself with systems, I'm actually able to access the superpowers that ADHD gives you.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like I have these systems to support myself now.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_00: And an affirmation that I have been saying to myself a lot is time does not apply to me because I can process things and I can work so fast.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like when I'm on, I'm I'm on and I can go so fast.
• 37:09
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's that's something I've been saying to myself.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I can get so much done, but it's because like I've got all these other things to support me.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_00: Because before it was, yeah, it was like you're saying, like I was so bogged down.
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like I had anxiety because I knew I was forgetting things and I couldn't remember what I was forgetting.
• 37:23
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's like I wasn't able to take action on anything.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_00: So I was always like, Well, what am I forgetting?
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't know.
• 37:29
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, it was a whole thing.
• 37:31
  SPEAKER_01: And then for me, that fear kind of turned into this chronic fear of getting in trouble.
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_01: Like I was always afraid that I was gonna forget some date or miss a meeting or let a client down that I was waking up in the morning just freaking out constantly in that fight or flight.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, that, you know, and then you start to read about, oh, there's other people who feel like this.
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_01: And hey, your brain maybe works a little bit differently.
• 37:55
  SPEAKER_01: It's just been such a relief.
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um wow.
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_01: And that I like what you said there.
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_01: There's a superpower to it, that hyperfocus is awesome and like what an incredible thing.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I I've kind of always known that my brain works differently, but I've always thought about it as a good thing, you know.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_01: And so, and then it's been nice talk about like opening the door and shining light on shadows.
• 38:18
  SPEAKER_01: You see this and you're like, oh, oh yeah, I'm like you where I'm reading assessments, and it's not just like, yeah, yeah, I get like that.
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, hell yes, fuck yes, 10 out of 10, you know.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_01: So you're making me feel really inspired and encouraged.
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I appreciate you sharing all that with us.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_02: Good, yes, that's what we want.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_02: I'm over here, like, wait, that's how my brain, like that's how I I thought everybody was like this.
• 38:43
  SPEAKER_02: I thought that everybody operated like this.
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, that is like the biggest thing, too.
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_00: Where I was like, wait a minute.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_00: You're telling me that people don't hear electricity, like that's not a thing.
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_00: You're telling me that people don't close their eyes and see like bursts of patterns and colors, like everyone else is not experiencing this.
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, oh, well, that's good to know now.
• 39:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what?
• 39:07
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna have to take a look at this.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_02: At first, when we first started talking about it, I was like, no.
• 39:13
  SPEAKER_02: And then you just keep giving information, and I'm just like, wait a minute.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I like how the language has changed around it, of it's now talked about as a spectrum, like a neurodivergent spectrum.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_01: So a lot of us probably have a lot of these tendencies, you know.
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_01: It is a lot of, I think that's what's been so hard to diagnose people because it's just very normal things that all of us can relate to, but some people just experience it to the extreme.
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_01: And there's a lot of shame in like your lazy story.
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like I like what you said, Ash, about like bringing up with your family.
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_01: They're like, no, you don't, you know, yeah, you're fine.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it's really interesting.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think thinking about it as like not a yes or no, but like I could be a little bit, I could be here, I could be there was like helpful for me to wrap my brain around.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 40:02
  SPEAKER_00: I think the other thing too, that's been a really interesting kind of unfurling journey, and it's been parallel with my spiritual journey, is being able to accept this part of myself.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_00: I've been slowly, slowly more and more not masking as much, which requires a lot of intentionality and a lot of grace with myself and self-acceptance to be like, this is who I am.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna turn it down.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna be afraid to like be myself.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like I am, I'm a vibrant person.
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like I am just animated and excited and talking a million miles an hour, and I I but this is who I am.
• 40:36
  SPEAKER_00: And for a long time, like I felt really bad about that.
• 40:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, oh, like people aren't like me, or like, you know, people make you feel weird when you're the odd one out.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I I resisted that a lot.
• 40:46
  SPEAKER_00: And this past year have been a lot of like, I'm not going to mask anymore because it's exhausting, and I'm done with that.
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I I don't mask now, and when I do it, I can feel when I'm doing it because I don't do it very often.
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, this is exhausting and sucky, and I don't like it.
• 41:01
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, thank you.
• 41:02
  SPEAKER_00: Exhausting.
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_00: No, thank you.
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, I would say that like that was one of the first things that I think drew me to you was like, I find that we have similar personality traits where we can get like super stoked about something, super animated.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_02: I've been called animated like most of my entire life.
• 41:25
  SPEAKER_02: And just like super amped up.
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_02: And I remember starting a business and being like, okay, we have to do everything professionally.
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_02: We have to use these words.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_02: Me and Jay were talking about it earlier this week.
• 41:36
  SPEAKER_02: We called it like net 30 brain, because I remember one of my first clients was like, Can we net 30 that?
• 41:42
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, oh my God, I'm a failure at business because I don't know what net 30 is.
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_02: And then so I look and I was like, wait a minute.
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_02: No, like it's just so funny.
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_02: Like how when you start in business, you think that it's one thing.
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_02: And then the deeper you get to know yourself, the deeper that you get to trust yourself, you like come back around and you show up in your business or a business or in life in general, being authentically you.
• 42:11
  SPEAKER_02: And you're just like, this is so empowering.
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_02: And now it's so obvious the moments and the reasons why I thought that I had to dim down.
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_02: Because I didn't think that I could be successful being me, because there wasn't a lot of examples of people showing up authentically.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_02: But maybe that's why we're the ones going through this process, we're the ones doing the deep work right now in this moment, is because people need to see that like animated, loud, talking fast, people that swear all the fucking time can be insanely successful too.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_00: Hell yeah.
• 42:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, exactly, exactly that.
• 42:53
  SPEAKER_00: And it is a lot about like the just yeah, being able to be authentic with yourself and realizing the moments of like, why am I doing this other thing?
• 43:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like, this is not this is not me.
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_00: Because there are moments though where I find myself dimming myself, but I'm dimming myself out of safety, which is different.
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's a different type of masking, still exhausting, but you know, it's it's giving space for that nuance of like, yeah, be yourself authentically.
• 43:17
  SPEAKER_00: But that's also made me realize of like what is the healthiest path for me.
• 43:22
  SPEAKER_00: And it it's it just keeps opening up of like, oh, it is like you know, doing my thing, it is being able to work at home, it is being able to like set my own boundaries and be like very secure in my own space so that I don't have to mask out of safety or you know, to make ends meet, basically, because that sucks for everybody.
• 43:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and even I mean, like I feel like I have 45 ideas coming through.
• 43:49
  SPEAKER_02: So it's even allowing ourselves, like we're known, like we might be known as the animated, the loud, the outgoing person, but then there's this.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_02: Other side that like needs the safety, needs the quiet, the more introverted side.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_02: And I feel like that was it's a huge thing that just recently I've been starting to be able to accept that like I don't have to be turned on all the time.
• 44:15
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm allowed to give myself space to rest.
• 44:18
  SPEAKER_02: And I don't have to want to be around people.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_02: When before I remember like as a teenager, as a young adult, I was literally like, okay, well, somebody asked me to do something, and like my identity is that I'm outgoing.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_02: So that now equates to me having to say yes.
• 44:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 44:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's where honestly, that is where that affirmation for myself came from.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I time does not apply to me.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_00: I exist outside of time.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like, I feel like most people have this very linear journey of like, this is how time works.
• 44:50
  SPEAKER_00: This is how my journey is.
• 44:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, this is my journey.
• 44:54
  SPEAKER_00: It is a spiral.
• 44:55
  SPEAKER_00: It is an ever going spiral.
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm just going to keep cycling through because I'm a cyclical person and that's how it works.
• 45:00
  SPEAKER_00: And and it's yeah, so like this the cyclical nature and the spiral living has given space for that for me to like step outside of the timeline and be like, I'm gonna rest right now because that's what I need.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_00: I don't need to be on all the time because I'm not a linear person.
• 45:14
  SPEAKER_00: And like that being able to rest, like truly allow myself to just rest, like, hey, you don't have to be on today.
• 45:21
  SPEAKER_00: Amazing.
• 45:22
  SPEAKER_00: I can read a book and talk to no human beings and not put on a bra, awesome.
• 45:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like, how often can we do this?
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_00: But it's like giving your space to that, like you're excited to jump back in because you like truly get to meet your own needs.
• 45:35
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_01: I, you know, it's funny.
• 45:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I have a mantra that's similar to yours.
• 45:39
  SPEAKER_01: I always tell myself, I'm right on time.
• 45:41
  SPEAKER_01: I'm exactly on time.
• 45:42
  SPEAKER_01: And it's interesting how we have that was honestly the one of the biggest things when I switched to working for myself was this constant feeling of being behind.
• 45:52
  SPEAKER_01: And like, I can't catch up.
• 45:54
  SPEAKER_01: I'm always behind, I'm overwhelmed.
• 45:56
  SPEAKER_01: And so just I even today, I can't I'm right on time.
• 46:00
  SPEAKER_01: I find myself like I'll wake up right away.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, so much to do, so much to do.
• 46:04
  SPEAKER_01: I'm right on time, I'm right on time.
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I really like the aspect you're adding to it of like this happens for me, how it happens for me.
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_01: And it's different from how it happens for other people.
• 46:15
  SPEAKER_01: So just because something may take them eight hours, I know that I can sit down and hyperfocus and knock it out, you know.
• 46:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I like that.
• 46:22
  SPEAKER_01: Like time works special for me.
• 46:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I absolutely growth is not linear, like it is a spiral.
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_01: And in man, this is awesome.
• 46:32
  SPEAKER_01: One thing that's popping up a lot for me is this idea of unmasking and how as we allow ourselves to unmask, it's potentially led to, you know, more success in whatever way that we're defining success, right?
• 46:44
  SPEAKER_01: But then you have to balance that with that it always has to come from um a safe place, a grounded place, which I really, really like.
• 46:52
  SPEAKER_01: That's a very, very nice caveat.
• 46:54
  SPEAKER_01: Um anyway, I just think that you are the coolest.
• 47:01
  SPEAKER_01: And so I wouldn't know you have like a new program that are you how are you bringing this all together in some kind of new thing?
• 47:09
  SPEAKER_01: Can you tell me about the hustle, like where you're at right now and what's the new platform?
• 47:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, um, yeah, this is like a whole thing in the works.
• 47:17
  SPEAKER_00: Oh man, there's more magic behind this.
• 47:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'll tell you a little bit.
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_00: I can't tell you a whole lot yet, but I can tell you some of this.
• 47:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so this is yeah, it's in line with when I when I got my nine to five and I just took a break, and then like I didn't do anything on Instagram for a while.
• 47:33
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, I don't know, man.
• 47:34
  SPEAKER_00: There's no more brain cells in here.
• 47:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm trying to figure out this new role.
• 47:38
  SPEAKER_00: I got a people again in this job.
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what's going on?
• 47:41
  SPEAKER_00: And so it took me a couple months to settle.
• 47:44
  SPEAKER_00: In like April, I started getting the itch of like, I'm gonna do things on the gram again, like just put myself out there.
• 47:50
  SPEAKER_00: But I did it purely out of just, I'm just gonna have fun.
• 47:54
  SPEAKER_00: I have no idea what I want to do.
• 47:57
  SPEAKER_00: I have no idea how I'm gonna monetize any of this.
• 47:59
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna do this because I want to, because it's fun for me.
• 48:02
  SPEAKER_00: And at the top of the year, I had rebranded whatever the marketing channel was at that point.
• 48:08
  SPEAKER_00: I think I was calling it marketing with Ash.
• 48:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and which all of my rebrands make sense now.
• 48:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, of course, this is an ADHD thing.
• 48:15
  SPEAKER_00: I just didn't know.
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so I think I was marketing with Ash, and I changed it to Healing Hustle Co because that's where I was.
• 48:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like I was healing my own hustles, healing a lot of things.
• 48:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and it just became this kind of open space of me to just like talk about the things self-discovery and boundaries and personal power and self-care and all of these things that had been really transformational for me that I had never consciously thought about before.
• 48:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I was just doing it in a fun way.
• 48:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like I was throwing out quotes, I was like doing funny little things, like, and it was just fun for me.
• 48:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I knew in April when I started to really get back into it, April through May, I was like, I want to do something.
• 48:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I think there's something here for me.
• 48:55
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what it is yet, but I was starting to get that like little intuition, little nudges where I'm like, I there's I don't know what it is, but something is unfolding for me.
• 49:04
  SPEAKER_00: And once again, I had said out loud to the universe, like, hey, it would be super cool if I could meet someone else that was also had the same vision as me, but had opposite skill set.
• 49:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I can market the shit out of anything.
• 49:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I am an excellent writer, like I can own that for myself.
• 49:21
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a great big picture thinker, creative thinker, got the squiggly brain, like, you know, I can do all of those types of things.
• 49:28
  SPEAKER_00: I can't do like operations, spreadsheets, systems, finance, absolutely not.
• 49:32
  SPEAKER_00: No, I'm over here, like, oh, God bless the people that can because I cannot.
• 49:37
  SPEAKER_00: And that is who I hire in my business because I was like, man, like I would love to share this vision with someone to just walk this road with me.
• 49:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, not expecting anything out of it.
• 49:48
  SPEAKER_00: I have a um my best friend I'd actually asked, I was like, hey, like, would you maybe want to like start this business together?
• 49:54
  SPEAKER_00: And we talked about it seriously for like six weeks, and then we're like, you know what, like, nah, let's keep our friendship just a friendship, it's not gonna work, whatever.
• 50:02
  SPEAKER_00: And then we kind of just ditched it.
• 50:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, my best friend actually, I also met on Instagram, which is hilarious to me.
• 50:08
  SPEAKER_00: But, anyways, back to the story at hand.
• 50:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so had this thing and then it started developing.
• 50:14
  SPEAKER_00: I've been working at this company, and this other woman that works there with me um had reached out to me in August of this year, and I I love her, I trust her, and um, I trusted her by proxy because she came in through a mutual friend in the company.
• 50:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, she sent me a random boxer one day, like absolutely random.
• 50:34
  SPEAKER_00: And it was just like, hey, uh this feels awkward, but I think you're dope human.
• 50:42
  SPEAKER_00: I think we should be friends.
• 50:44
  SPEAKER_00: Also, do you want to build an empire together?
• 50:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, I don't know, but yeah, just because you said it like that, absolutely, yes.
• 50:50
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what we're gonna do, but yes.
• 50:52
  SPEAKER_00: So, anyways, the universe responded.
• 50:54
  SPEAKER_00: She was the response, and so what we're building, we are building together.
• 50:59
  SPEAKER_00: It is still in the lines of like we're talking about, going to be officially talking about and coaching on and mentoring and building toolkits and workshops for things of like burn out, self-care, self-discovery, inner power, boundaries, things of that nature.
• 51:12
  SPEAKER_00: So that's what we're working on.
• 51:14
  SPEAKER_00: It will be a new kind of like brand reveal since we're kind of coming into this new thing together with both of our identities.
• 51:19
  SPEAKER_00: We have similar but opposite journeys.
• 51:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so that's what's coming.
• 51:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's about all I can say right now because everything else is still in the works, but that's that's what's up.
• 51:29
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that's perfect, and that's actually a wonderful transition to another thing I was hoping to dive in with you, which is you know, a lot of this unmasking, it's all about embracing imperfection, right?
• 51:41
  SPEAKER_01: And so you mentioned before we got online, you brought up this idea about, you know, being in the messy middle and letting it be imperfect.
• 51:50
  SPEAKER_01: And what does that look like?
• 51:51
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and so for me, as I've tried to show up more authentically, let the mask down, it's been a lot of dealing with perfectionism and um, you know, just showing up as a human and allowing myself to not be perfect and to trip over to my words and to, you know, not uh Mariah and I want always want to go back and like write out a script and edit it everything.
• 52:12
  SPEAKER_01: And we're really trying to use this podcast honestly as an experiment and letting it be imperfect.
• 52:17
  SPEAKER_01: And what I found is it's freeing, right?
• 52:20
  SPEAKER_01: And so I would love for you to kind of pull the curtain back as much as you can around that idea of being in the messy middle and just like allowing yourself to show up even when there's not a bow on top, right?
• 52:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 52:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I think a lot of it does have to come from there's two things at play here that I'm seeing.
• 52:36
  SPEAKER_00: One, for me, it was a lot of waking up to the powers that be, the systems that be.
• 52:42
  SPEAKER_00: So like patriarchy, capitalism, and like what those types of things demand of us.
• 52:48
  SPEAKER_00: And those things do demand.
• 52:49
  SPEAKER_00: They demand perfection, they demand things look good, they demand productivity and efficiency.
• 52:55
  SPEAKER_00: None of those things are inherently human, like they're inhumane traits that are being asked of us for an external output.
• 53:03
  SPEAKER_00: And so a lot, my word of this year actually was untangle.
• 53:07
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know what I was saying at the time.
• 53:08
  SPEAKER_00: I was just like untangle, it seems like a good one.
• 53:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, wow, that was really accurate.
• 53:12
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, because it was like waking up and untangling myself and my sense of self-worth and my ties to these systems.
• 53:19
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, they exist.
• 53:20
  SPEAKER_00: We all have to, we're all in an abusive relationship with these systems, but they are still there.
• 53:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but it was just kind of seeing like, where do I start and stop?
• 53:30
  SPEAKER_00: Because I am my own person within myself, and I don't have to be any of those other things.
• 53:35
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like it was like being open to being like, okay, I get to be messy because I'm a human.
• 53:40
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have to be perfect because nothing is perfect.
• 53:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like aesthetic is simply for a sales, you know, a sales perspective.
• 53:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, if it's for external, right?
• 53:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like you can want to have pretty things, we can want to have like a beautiful environment, but that's for you.
• 53:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's for your own nourishment.
• 53:57
  SPEAKER_00: That's not benefiting anyone else.
• 53:58
  SPEAKER_00: So a lot of it was that.
• 54:00
  SPEAKER_00: And then it was this other side of it of unmasking and really um inviting a sense of playfulness into my life, which I really missed.
• 54:08
  SPEAKER_00: And that came from that really came from a lot of the healing I was doing.
• 54:11
  SPEAKER_00: I was doing a lot of like inner child healing, um, which came from like, okay, I'm clearly missing a massive sense of play in my life because that's what I mean, that's what a lot of what I was going through was doing to me.
• 54:22
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't I was burnt out, perfectionist, former gifted, like all of these like overachieving things.
• 54:28
  SPEAKER_00: And like when you are all of those things, like you don't have room to play.
• 54:31
  SPEAKER_00: And so it was like inviting this playfulness in there, and and when you're playing, you know, it doesn't matter.
• 54:36
  SPEAKER_00: The end result doesn't matter.
• 54:38
  SPEAKER_00: And it's I think it's about shifting this perspective from I'm getting to this perfect outcome.
• 54:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm on this journey to this place.
• 54:45
  SPEAKER_00: And instead, again, this comes with a linear linear journey.
• 54:48
  SPEAKER_00: We're not we're not going towards anything specific, we are enjoying the journey itself because it's just this ever-revolving spiral.
• 54:54
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's where the play gets to unfold, and that's where we really get to like be present and like I'm here for like this evolution and this unfolding.
• 55:01
  SPEAKER_00: And it is inherently messy.
• 55:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so it's been really, yeah, it's like getting cozy in that like vulnerability of like, ugh, uh, this isn't this isn't the destination, this isn't sparkly and pretty, but uh here we are.
• 55:16
  SPEAKER_00: And it's been very polarizing.
• 55:18
  SPEAKER_00: I will say, it's been very polarizing.
• 55:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, where people are like, what are you doing?
• 55:23
  SPEAKER_00: Bye.
• 55:23
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and I'm just like, all right, see ya, thank you.
• 55:25
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have to mask around you anymore.
• 55:27
  SPEAKER_00: You, you were the little energy leak.
• 55:29
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks, bye.
• 55:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then, you know, in in its place is um people that are showing up with the same level of like vulnerability and authenticity or at least an openness to that, to be like, hey, I kind of like what you're doing.
• 55:42
  SPEAKER_00: And like, because it gives, you know, when you have the ability to do that, it just opens the door for everyone else to have that too.
• 55:48
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, the world becomes a better place.
• 55:50
  SPEAKER_00: The spaces that you're in become better because no one's expected to be perfect, everyone's allowed to just be messy however they are.
• 55:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 55:58
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if that answers the question.
• 56:00
  SPEAKER_02: Mic drop on that one.
• 56:02
  SPEAKER_02: Damn.
• 56:03
  SPEAKER_02: I was over here nodding my head for like a continuous like five minutes.
• 56:07
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, uh-huh.
• 56:10
  SPEAKER_01: Ash, that theme keeps popping up for us, this idea of, and you've mentioned this earlier, how could this be fun?
• 56:16
  SPEAKER_01: Or how can I incorporate more play into my life or into my business or my schedule?
• 56:21
  SPEAKER_01: Will you give us some um IRL examples of how you bring play into your life?
• 56:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'll say it didn't start with that question.
• 56:30
  SPEAKER_00: The question that I consistently ask myself, and the answer is always play.
• 56:34
  SPEAKER_00: The question I ask myself is how can I create space for myself?
• 56:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so, and that to me, like space, this is self-care.
• 56:41
  SPEAKER_00: This is what boundaries are.
• 56:43
  SPEAKER_00: But if it comes back to that, like that's the theme.
• 56:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like, how do I create space?
• 56:46
  SPEAKER_00: And so the way that I like to create space is through play.
• 56:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but also I I am an imaginative person.
• 56:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know if this is an ADHD thing or if this is a me thing or whatever, if this is a spiritual thing, but I like to be very imaginative with things and I like to give things meaning.
• 57:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like I just love that about my own journey.
• 57:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so like play in space for me looks like going in meditating in the woods, or but like to me, like that's playing.
• 57:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm playing with the spirits of the forest, like just going out.
• 57:19
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have anything to do, just hanging out there.
• 57:22
  SPEAKER_02: For your plants, right?
• 57:24
  SPEAKER_02: Did I see something on Instagram where you like name all of your plants and you get to know them?
• 57:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I name all my plants and I get to know them, and I literally hang out with my plants, talk to my plants.
• 57:35
  SPEAKER_00: My boys all talk to the plants, like they all know the plant's name.
• 57:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like, mom, Carlo, I think needs some water because his leaves are getting droopy.
• 57:43
  SPEAKER_00: And we all celebrate.
• 57:45
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, Medusa is my snake plant.
• 57:46
  SPEAKER_00: They're like, Medusa got a new leaf, yes.
• 57:49
  SPEAKER_00: And so, like, it just is fun.
• 57:51
  SPEAKER_00: So I was like, that's another way I name my plants.
• 57:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I have started getting into like uh moving my body.
• 57:58
  SPEAKER_00: I don't like the word exercise.
• 57:59
  SPEAKER_00: I just think it's so wellness moving my body.
• 58:03
  SPEAKER_00: That's another way that I'm creating space for myself, creating like literal physical time space to move my body.
• 58:09
  SPEAKER_00: I've really enjoyed lifting weights.
• 58:11
  SPEAKER_00: And that to me is play in a different type of way for two reasons.
• 58:15
  SPEAKER_00: One, I really like fantasy series, and like there's always like a you know, a heroic feminine that like goes through this intense like training before she goes to the big battle.
• 58:23
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, I like to picture myself like that, like I've gone through the dark night of the soul, I'm preparing for this epic battle.
• 58:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just like gonna, you know, get swole.
• 58:31
  SPEAKER_00: And then there's another part of me that's like that the meaning that I assign to this, which again, like this is all play because it's part of the imaginative process.
• 58:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like the assigning meaning is the play to me.
• 58:42
  SPEAKER_00: Of I think about a lot of my female ancestors and about how they were in positions and in scenarios and in times where they were not allowed to be fierce, they were not allowed to like be in their power, they were not allowed to even just be themselves.
• 58:59
  SPEAKER_00: And so, me learning how to be strong and me learning how to like step into my own power and learn how to be authentic and fierce in my own ways is honoring for all of us.
• 59:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I get to do this for all of us, and so that's something that is like it's playful, but it's also really meaningful.
• 59:14
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like it's things like that.
• 59:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I create the space, I do a thing in the space, and then I have fun assigning meaning to whatever I'm doing in that space.
• 59:24
  SPEAKER_02: What an incredible answer.
• 59:26
  SPEAKER_02: I love you.
• 59:26
  SPEAKER_02: I can't wait to have you back on the podcast again because I'm already thinking of like a million different things that we could talk about and like just to hear the transition of you know, the new the new business you have coming through in December.
• 59:41
  SPEAKER_02: I'm so excited for you.
• 59:43
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like I can just I can feel the energy and the passion in your heart when you talk about it, and it's super motivating.
• 59:51
  SPEAKER_02: And absolutely let us know when like you're launching things because like we would love to support you in it.
• 59:57
  SPEAKER_02: Hell yeah.
• 59:57
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 59:58
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
• 59:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm already so excited to come back too.
• 1:00:00
  SPEAKER_02: This is amazing.
• 1:00:02
  SPEAKER_02: So I think we're gonna end every podcast episode that we have a guest in with a little question here.
• 1:00:11
  SPEAKER_02: So, like, we just want to know what's been sparking your curiosity lately.
• 1:00:16
  SPEAKER_00: Ooh, ooh, this one's good.
• 1:00:20
  SPEAKER_00: Hmm, what's been sparking my curiosity?
• 1:00:23
  SPEAKER_00: Probably the same thing that's always sparked my curiosity.
• 1:00:26
  SPEAKER_00: I have always been a why person.
• 1:00:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why, why, but why?
• 1:00:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why does that work?
• 1:00:33
  SPEAKER_00: I just need to, I could I think it's because I'm a big picture person.
• 1:00:35
  SPEAKER_00: So like that's where I always go.
• 1:00:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why does that work?
• 1:00:40
  SPEAKER_00: And in a big picture sense, and why would that work for me?
• 1:00:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like, where does this lead?
• 1:00:44
  SPEAKER_00: And kind of following that little golden thread wherever it goes.
• 1:00:48
  SPEAKER_02: What's the what's the why question you've asked recently?
• 1:00:52
  SPEAKER_02: Like about what?
• 1:00:53
  SPEAKER_00: Hmm.
• 1:00:56
  SPEAKER_00: There's so many.
• 1:00:57
  SPEAKER_00: It just keeps going.
• 1:00:59
  SPEAKER_00: Hmm.
• 1:00:59
  SPEAKER_00: The why question I've been asking myself recently.
• 1:01:03
  SPEAKER_03: Hmm.
• 1:01:05
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I've been doing a lot?
• 1:01:07
  SPEAKER_00: I have been slowly creating a practice of going outside and stargazing whenever I can.
• 1:01:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's been really rainy, so I don't get to do it a lot, but I've been stargazing and I keep asking myself, like, why am I doing this?
• 1:01:18
  SPEAKER_00: Because that is a totally new thing.
• 1:01:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why would I be drawn to go outside?
• 1:01:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and that's been really fun.
• 1:01:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that's a totally like open, just like, I don't want to say off the wall, but like kind of as existential.
• 1:01:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why am I going outside to stare at the dark sky?
• 1:01:35
  SPEAKER_00: And that's been really fun.
• 1:01:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that's a fun, curious spiritual thread to follow that's been really healing in like my sense of belonging.
• 1:01:44
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, I'm really glad that I asked that follow-up question and we got that response because I don't want to go outside and look at the stars.
• 1:01:52
  SPEAKER_01: Right, I know.
• 1:01:53
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and also that practice is getting you into the observer mode.
• 1:01:57
  SPEAKER_01: I love that of just like real every every day you have like a very tangible opportunity to look at yourself.
• 1:02:04
  SPEAKER_01: Why am I behaving this way?
• 1:02:05
  SPEAKER_01: Why am I making these decisions?
• 1:02:07
  SPEAKER_01: That's such a cool practice and really powerful.
• 1:02:11
  unknown: Yeah, thank you.
• 1:02:12
  unknown: It's fun.
• 1:02:14
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so I think we're ready to wrap this, wrap this up here, but let's finish it off with Ash.
• 1:02:21
  SPEAKER_02: Tell our listeners where they can find and connect with you.
• 1:02:24
  SPEAKER_00: Oh dear, here's where the messy middle comes in.
• 1:02:27
  SPEAKER_00: So there's two ways that you can find and connect with me.
• 1:02:30
  SPEAKER_00: I have no website right now.
• 1:02:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's a hot mess.
• 1:02:32
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I've already admitted that.
• 1:02:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so two ways you can find me.
• 1:02:36
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to know like marketing things, follow me on the marketing channel.
• 1:02:39
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, you can find me on Instagram at Ash DoesMarketing.
• 1:02:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, if you want to stay in tune with this evolution of all things kind of self-healing and things of that nature, Healing Hustle Co.
• 1:02:51
  SPEAKER_00: is going to be the space where that's going to be.
• 1:02:53
  SPEAKER_00: That'll be actually the account that this new brand will be coming out of as well.
• 1:02:56
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, cool.
• 1:02:57
  SPEAKER_02: We'll we'll be sure to include those links in our show notes.
• 1:03:01
  SPEAKER_02: And then Shay, are you feeling called to share anything else before we close it down?
• 1:03:05
  SPEAKER_01: No, I'm good.
• 1:03:06
  SPEAKER_01: This has been incredible.
• 1:03:07
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much, Ash.
• 1:03:08
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I cannot wait until Healing Hustle Co.
• 1:03:11
  SPEAKER_01: comes to life and um we're excited to follow along on the journey.
• 1:03:14
  SPEAKER_01: And you're very much, you know, you're a wonderful example of exploring curiosity and using that as a tool to heal yourself.
• 1:03:23
  SPEAKER_01: And it's just been so uh nourishing to speak with you.
• 1:03:26
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for having me on here.
• 1:03:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's been wonderful.
• 1:03:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, this was really awesome.
• 1:03:31
  SPEAKER_02: All right, so if you enjoyed this episode, feel free to share it with someone you think would love it or on social media.
• 1:03:38
  SPEAKER_02: And then tag us in your chairs and let us know what you love or what topics you'd like us to explore next.
• 1:03:44
  SPEAKER_02: Also, totally DM us, literally any of us, with questions or feedback or whatever you're feeling, because we would love to connect with you.
• 1:03:53
  SPEAKER_01: And as always, thank you so much for listening and for your support.
• 1:03:56
  SPEAKER_01: Consider subscribing to this podcast or leaving us a five-star review so we can continue to all grow together.
• 1:04:03
  SPEAKER_01: And until next time, remember that you have the power to create whatever the hell you want.
• 1:04:09
  SPEAKER_01: Follow the nudge, ask questions, and let curiosity guide the way.
• 1:04:13
  SPEAKER_01: We'll see you in the next episode.