Latest / Wedding Pros who are ready to grow - with Becca Pountney / How to stop holding yourself back with Barbara Nixon
Transcript
- 0:00Barbara: Our subconscious brain's primary objective is to keep us safe.
- 0:04Now, safe doesn't mean excited, abundant, you know,
- 0:08accomplished, all the good stuff.
- 0:10It doesn't mean all of that.
- 0:11It just means alive.
- 0:13So our subconscious brain's primary objective is to keep us alive.
- 0:18And the way that it does this is by using our programming from what our
- 0:23conditioning from all of our experiences, and it sends us tailor made messages
- 0:29and tailor made tricks and techniques.
- 0:30It throws everything at it to keep us going.
- 0:33back in our comfort zone.
- 0:35I think the problem with the word comfort zone is the word comfort.
- 0:38Yeah?
- 0:39We assume that comfort zone is comfortable.
- 0:42In actual fact comfort zone isn't comfortable.
- 0:45It's just okay.
- 0:47And nothing great happens from just being okay.
- 0:49We don't take amazing action from being okay.
- 0:52We just bumble along.
- 0:53And we do enough because we think I'm okay right now.
- 0:56I'm doing alright.
- 0:57Becca: I'm
- 1:00Becca Pountney, wedding business marketing expert, speaker, and blogger,
- 1:03and you're listening to the Wedding Pros Who Are Ready to Grow podcast.
- 1:07I'm here to share with you actionable tips, strategies, and real life
- 1:11examples to help you take your wedding business to the next level.
- 1:14If you are an ambitious wedding business owner that wants to take your passion
- 1:18and use it to build a profitable, sustainable business, doing what you
- 1:21love, then you're in the right place.
- 1:23Let's get going with today's episode.
- 1:27Can you believe that we're already at the end of August?
- 1:30And that brings us to the end of our summer series here on the podcast,
- 1:34where I've been taking you behind the scenes of my Wedding Pro Members
- 1:36Lounge and bringing out some of the amazing training from the archives to
- 1:40share with you here on the podcast.
- 1:41And today is our final day.
- 1:42final one of these sessions.
- 1:44As I mentioned a few weeks ago, the Wedding Pro Members Lounge houses
- 1:48my Wedding Pro Success Ladder.
- 1:49This is my training platform with loads and loads of training
- 1:52for all areas of your business.
- 1:54That is divided into three sections, build, grow, and
- 1:57advance, and then within that.
- 1:59I separate the sections into the following categories, get connected,
- 2:02which is all about networking, get booked, which is all about sales and
- 2:05making more bookings, get visible, which is all about marketing, get organized,
- 2:09which kind of speaks for itself.
- 2:11And then finally, be calm and confident.
- 2:13And that's the session we're going to be looking at.
- 2:15today.
- 2:15You see, I realized that learning about business is important, but a
- 2:19lot of the things that hold us back are actually around our mindset
- 2:22and the way that we view ourselves.
- 2:24So I now have training dedicated to that area of business as well
- 2:28as the practical business tips.
- 2:30Now this session was recorded back in September, 2022 with an amazing lady
- 2:35called Barbara Nixon, and it's all about how to stop holding yourself back.
- 2:39If you are inside the members lounge, you'll find this in the grow
- 2:42section under be calm and confident.
- 2:45So you can go and watch it with the slides.
- 2:47If you want to, I've really enjoyed this summer series, and I would love
- 2:51for you to become a part of the members lounge and get trainings like this.
- 2:54Every single month from the best guest experts, as well as access to that full
- 2:57wedding pro success ladder, accountability calls each week, and lounge calls
- 3:01where we track our goals and targets every single month on zoom as well.
- 3:06It's a great community.
- 3:07I cannot tell you how much fun it is to be part of and what a great
- 3:10support network is for your business.
- 3:11If you want to try it out, my special summer deal is ending in
- 3:15just two days at the end of August.
- 3:17So if you want to join us for just 10 pounds for the first month,
- 3:20before it goes to the regular price of 37 pounds, per month, then use
- 3:23the code summer at the checkout and you'll get it at that reduced price.
- 3:28You've got nothing to lose.
- 3:29Come and try it out.
- 3:30I promise you'll want to stay.
- 3:31Enjoy today's session with Barbara and I'll see you soon.
- 3:35Barbara, it's great to have you.
- 3:36I'm thrilled to have you in the members group this morning.
- 3:38Do you want to just explain to people a little bit about
- 3:40who you are and what you do?
- 3:42Barbara: Yeah.
- 3:42So my name is Barbara Nixon.
- 3:43I'm a success coach and founder of smash your own ceiling.
- 3:47And I've been in the people development arena space for, I think it's
- 3:51about 26 years now, which is always scary when you say that out loud.
- 3:55And I've had, you know, time in corporate and I've been running my business.
- 4:01So in that time, I've worked with thousands of business owners and leaders
- 4:04to help them stop holding themselves back, get out of their own way and start getting
- 4:08the results that they really, really want.
- 4:09And it's something that I'm so passionate about because as you
- 4:12said in your introduction, we all struggle with this, don't we?
- 4:15Me included.
- 4:16I'm holding my hand up now.
- 4:18We all just really, really struggle with this.
- 4:19So I'm super excited to be here.
- 4:22Becca: Amazing.
- 4:23Well, like I said in my intro, I know that lots of people struggle with this.
- 4:26I know lots of those guys who are here live will be struggling with this as well.
- 4:30So thank you for coming in.
- 4:32Everyone here is in the wedding industry.
- 4:34So we're going to be having, so everyone's a wedding chat.
- 4:36I don't know if you want people to pop in the chat what they do exactly.
- 4:39So if you are here live.
- 4:40put in the chat and tell Barbara what part of the wedding
- 4:43industry you're in, what you do.
- 4:44And Barbara, I'm going to hand over to you and I will come back.
- 4:47If you guys have questions as you go through, pop them in the chat.
- 4:49We'll do a bit of a Q and A at the end, but like I said, it's going
- 4:52to be a super interactive session.
- 4:54So enjoy.
- 4:55Over to you Barbara.
- 4:56Barbara: Thank you.
- 4:57Yeah.
- 4:57As Becca said, this isn't a sit and listen kind of deal.
- 5:00I want you to get involved.
- 5:01So please say hi in the chat.
- 5:02Bye.
- 5:03Let's let's start some chat going.
- 5:05Let me know what, what your business is, cause I'd love to know.
- 5:08And I'd also love to know what is it that you do to hold yourself back?
- 5:12Cause my intention is for today that it's, it's super interactive,
- 5:16really informal, but I want to give you everything that you need.
- 5:19So you go away with some really, really practical solutions.
- 5:22So pop it in the chat.
- 5:24Tell me, how do you currently hold yourself back?
- 5:26And what is it?
- 5:27What is it that What's the impact of that on your business?
- 5:31So stick it in the chat.
- 5:32Let's have some, some interaction going.
- 5:35And also if you've not done, not got it yet, get your notebook and pen.
- 5:40And I always feel that you learn better when you've got a really nice cup
- 5:42of tea as well, which I've got mine.
- 5:44I'm never far away from a cup.
- 5:46So yeah, let us know what do you do to hold yourself back?
- 5:49How do you get in your own way?
- 5:50And especially I'd love to know how does it impact your business?
- 5:54What is it?
- 5:55What is it that you do that impacts your business?
- 5:58Because as I mentioned earlier, I have been there, I have been there,
- 6:02done it and worn the t shirt.
- 6:03And the reason that my business is called Smash Your Own Ceiling is
- 6:06because I see so many people, so many people holding themselves back.
- 6:11They We create a ceiling for ourselves, don't we?
- 6:14Of the things that we think that we're able to do, the things
- 6:18that we allow ourselves to do.
- 6:21And often that's as far as we go.
- 6:23In fact, one of my clients quite a few months ago now actually said that
- 6:29she's only been reaching for the, the lowest branch that she can see.
- 6:35And it's a, it's a really, really interesting way of
- 6:38describing it, isn't it?
- 6:39That we can only reach the lowest price that we can say.
- 6:41That's as far as we're allowing ourselves to go.
- 6:43And this can have a massive impact on our business.
- 6:47It can have a massive impact on our confidence and the results
- 6:49that we really, really want.
- 6:52And when I was in this place, because when I started my business back in 2010, I'd
- 6:57been in corporate for a number of years.
- 6:59And I'm just going to click on there.
- 7:03Actually, I'm not.
- 7:04So all of a sudden I'm seeing the chat.
- 7:06I was clicked on the wrong thing.
- 7:07So I was in corporate for a number of years.
- 7:10And then when I left to go into start my own business, all of a sudden I realized.
- 7:15that I struggle being visible.
- 7:17I struggled with so many things that I needed to do in
- 7:19order to market my business.
- 7:21And I started noticing these blocks that I put in for myself.
- 7:25So morning, Alyssia, let me go through the chat that I've, I missed out.
- 7:30If you've not put your given StreamYard permission.
- 7:33To see your name, that'd be fantastic.
- 7:35So I'm just getting lots of Facebook users there.
- 7:38Yeah, crazy days.
- 7:40Yeah, you're right.
- 7:40Good morning.
- 7:41I'm a wedding celebrant.
- 7:42Lovely.
- 7:43Pebble artist.
- 7:45Morning, Kylie.
- 7:46Wedding videographer.
- 7:48Veil Production's been going for almost 10 years, and yet I
- 7:50still doubt myself all the time.
- 7:52Yeah.
- 7:53Thanks for, for sharing.
- 7:54Rachel, Kylie I want to do a craft Feb, but I'm too scared.
- 7:58Imposter syndrome.
- 7:59You've got your cup and your water.
- 8:00Fantastic.
- 8:02You're I've got a Facebook user.
- 8:03I'm a venue stylist, and now offering fresh flower designs.
- 8:06Morning Gareth Alyssa, I hand make book binding keepsakes like photo albums.
- 8:12Vowel booklets.
- 8:13I think I hold myself back to let the people know that they
- 8:16can have from to know what they can have from me and selling.
- 8:20Yeah, so do you mean that you're holding yourself back from actually selling?
- 8:25Another Facebook user, I produce personalized artisan ice
- 8:28cream for weddings and events.
- 8:30Definitely a level of imposter syndrome.
- 8:32So yeah, it comes up time and time again, doesn't it?
- 8:35Imposter syndrome.
- 8:35So if anybody doesn't know what imposter syndrome is, it's that,
- 8:38that feeling of being found out that we're not good enough.
- 8:41But any minute now, somebody is going to find us out and say, no,
- 8:45you're, what are you doing here?
- 8:46You don't belong here.
- 8:47This isn't, this isn't, you're, you're not good enough to be here.
- 8:50So give me a yes in the chat if you can relate.
- 8:52So I'm sure we've all been there.
- 8:54So common.
- 8:55We've got another imposter syndrome having moved from corporate office roles to a
- 8:58new business in a very different sector.
- 9:01And again, I really felt that as well, whoever that was that produces
- 9:05personalized artisan ice cream.
- 9:06That sounds delicious.
- 9:08Amazing.
- 9:08So we can feel often like we've got, we're, we've got all these goals, we've
- 9:15got all these ambitions, we've got all these amazing things that we want to
- 9:19do because you wouldn't actually have started your business if you didn't
- 9:22secretly believe that you could do it.
- 9:24Yeah.
- 9:24But yet we still hold ourselves back and it's like, it's like running your business
- 9:30with one foot firmly on the brake pedal.
- 9:32So you've got all these goals, these aspirations, these dreams, things
- 9:36that you want to do, but yet you hold, you're kind of keeping yourself small.
- 9:40You're keeping yourself firmly just family, like in your
- 9:43safety, in your comfort zone.
- 9:45And often that can feel so very frustrating and it's exhausting, right?
- 9:50Give me a one in the chat if you can relate to it, just being
- 9:53frustrating and exhausting because you feel like you just got this push
- 9:58pull thing going on all the time.
- 10:01And when you're resisting something, when you're really resisting
- 10:04something, it takes up a lot of energy.
- 10:07It takes an awful lot of energy because give me a yes in the
- 10:11chat if you can relate to this, where you've got this idea.
- 10:14Maybe you want to market your business.
- 10:16Maybe you want to be visible.
- 10:18Maybe you want to do something that's might be a little bit different.
- 10:20You might want to run a stall or run, go to a fair and you start
- 10:25second guessing yourself, right?
- 10:28You start going, Oh, should I?
- 10:29Oh, hang on.
- 10:30Will there be anybody there?
- 10:31Oh, hang on.
- 10:31Is it right for me?
- 10:33Oh, I've never done it before.
- 10:34Maybe I should wait a little bit longer.
- 10:37And all the while, rather than just doing it, which would probably take two minutes
- 10:41of putting your name down somewhere or replying or turning up, we go round and
- 10:46round and round the houses, just torturing and tormenting ourselves over and over
- 10:51and over again, until either we do it, after we've gone through all of this,
- 10:55this stuff, or we end up not doing it.
- 10:58Anybody been in that situation?
- 11:01Garen's got all ones.
- 11:03Kylie's saying yes.
- 11:04Yeah, Becca's saying one.
- 11:05It's mentally draining.
- 11:07Absolutely right, Becca.
- 11:09And it takes us so much time.
- 11:12So much time.
- 11:15So, we, yeah, we need to do something about it.
- 11:17So, Rachel, I'm the same as Kelly.
- 11:20I definitely stay in my comfort zone.
- 11:22I increased my prices this summer.
- 11:23Yay, Rachel, well done.
- 11:25And haven't had many inquiries since.
- 11:27And now I just have to be patient and keep my cool.
- 11:29Absolutely.
- 11:30Keep you cool and believe.
- 11:32Definitely.
- 11:32Definitely.
- 11:34Alyssa is saying, yes.
- 11:36So we're all in the right place.
- 11:38And the one thing that I want you to know is that this is perfectly normal.
- 11:44Yeah, the fact that we're all here, the fact that this is at my entire business
- 11:48means that it's perfectly normal.
- 11:51This is all just part and parcel of being human, right?
- 11:55So it's just part and parcel of being human.
- 11:58Kelly's She's put prices up and it's slowed down.
- 12:01Yeah.
- 12:02Rachel.
- 12:02Yes, Gareth, I'm the same.
- 12:04I make excuses all the time.
- 12:05Sophie.
- 12:06Sorry, I'm late.
- 12:07No, no worries.
- 12:08You're all, you're, you're here at the right time.
- 12:11So holding yourself back is just part and parcel of being human.
- 12:15We've all done it at some point.
- 12:17We just, I don't, just don't think we talk about it enough because we expect
- 12:20ourselves to be, you know, perfect.
- 12:22We still aim for perfection.
- 12:23We expect to be, once we know we've run our business, we expect to just
- 12:27be that person that's got all, all our ducks in a row and we're on it.
- 12:31And it's hard for us to kind of own up and go, yeah, I've got
- 12:34one foot on the brake pedal.
- 12:35I'm seriously holding myself back right now.
- 12:38But imagine what it'd be like if you didn't.
- 12:41Imagine what it'd be like if you didn't.
- 12:43So can you put that in the chat for me?
- 12:45What would it actually be like if you took that foot off the brake pedal?
- 12:49If you didn't second guess yourself anymore, if you didn't go
- 12:53around in circles, if you didn't listen to your inner critic,
- 12:56what would that actually be like?
- 12:58What would the results be like?
- 12:59What do you reckon it would be?
- 13:01Stick it all in the chat because so often we focus on other things that were,
- 13:05we feel as though we're doing wrong.
- 13:07But very rarely on the things that actually this is the things
- 13:10that we want things that we want to happen What would it be like?
- 13:14Oh, yes.
- 13:15I've just seen the note freedom.
- 13:17This is where freedom lives Yeah, this is where freedom lives.
- 13:21Give me a two in the chat if you started your business for
- 13:25freedom I did back in 2010.
- 13:29I'd just gone back to work after having my, my youngest daughter
- 13:34and been on maternity leave.
- 13:35I'd gone back to my corporate job and I wanted freedom.
- 13:38I actually wanted to do the school run every single day.
- 13:41I wanted to do the coffee mornings, like what Talks about this morning.
- 13:45That was my dream because when I was in corporate, I never was able to do that.
- 13:49And I wanted freedom, but freedom didn't actually come properly for me until I
- 13:54took my foot off the brake pedal and I started allowing myself to just do
- 13:59the things that I want to do rather than holding myself back all the time.
- 14:03So we've got freedom.
- 14:04I think we think everyone else has got it together.
- 14:07Yeah, it would be great.
- 14:09Not second guess ourselves.
- 14:10I completely agree.
- 14:11Kylie, we do think like that, don't we?
- 14:13It will be relief.
- 14:14Felicia said.
- 14:15Gareth's saying, genuinely think my business would fly.
- 14:18Yeah.
- 14:18Right.
- 14:19Mindset is the only thing in my way.
- 14:21Nothing else.
- 14:22I am so pleased that you're here then Gareth.
- 14:25I'm so pleased that you're here.
- 14:26So as I said, it is a human condition.
- 14:30We all do this from time to time because our subconscious brain's
- 14:34primary objective is to keep us safe.
- 14:37Now, safe doesn't mean excited.
- 14:40Abundant, you know, rich, successful, accomplished, all the good stuff.
- 14:45It doesn't mean all of that.
- 14:46It just means alive.
- 14:48Safe just means alive.
- 14:49So our subconscious brain's primary objective is to keep us alive.
- 14:54And the way that it does this is by using our programming from What are conditioning
- 15:00from all of our experiences and it sends us tailor made messages and the tailor
- 15:06made because it's our brain, right?
- 15:07It knows us.
- 15:08It knows what's going to help work.
- 15:09It sends us tailor made messages and tailor made tricks and techniques.
- 15:13It throws everything at it to keep us going.
- 15:16Back in our comfort zone.
- 15:18Now, I prefer to, instead of saying comfort zone, because I
- 15:22think the problem with the word comfort zone is the word comfort.
- 15:25Yeah?
- 15:25We assume that comfort zone is comfortable.
- 15:29In actual fact, comfort zone isn't comfortable.
- 15:32It's just okay.
- 15:34Let me know in the chat if you can relate.
- 15:36When you're working in your comfort zone, you're just okay and nothing
- 15:39great happens from just being okay.
- 15:41We don't take amazing action from being okay.
- 15:43We just bumble along and we do enough because we think I'm okay right now.
- 15:48I'm doing all right.
- 15:49Let me know in the chat if, if you can relate.
- 15:52So when we start to stretch our comfort zone, when we start to stretch
- 15:57that and because we're all business owners, we're here for a reason.
- 16:00We're here because we want to give our gifts to the world.
- 16:02When we start to stretch that and do exciting things and we start to
- 16:06bump up to the side of our comfort zone, our brain has a mini meltdown.
- 16:10It literally goes, no, the alarm bells go off.
- 16:14We don't want that.
- 16:15No, no, no, no.
- 16:16I don't know that I can keep you safe out there.
- 16:18I don't know when you do this.
- 16:20this wedding's there, or when you start being more visible on, on the, the, Social
- 16:26media or when you start putting yourself out there that I can keep you safe.
- 16:30So we're not doing that.
- 16:32So instead we'll, I'll send you some messages like, oh, you're not good enough.
- 16:35Oh, you're gonna fail.
- 16:36Nobody's buying right now.
- 16:37Oh, you put your prices up.
- 16:39That's it.
- 16:40And before you know it, what do we all do?
- 16:45We come back to the safety of our comfort zone or our familiar.
- 16:50Now, I prefer to use the word familiar because that's all it is.
- 16:53It's not comfortable, it's just familiar.
- 16:55It's just okay.
- 16:57So, this is what's happening all the time.
- 17:00And every time we get a new idea, every time we think, Oh,
- 17:02I'm going to do that, our brain goes, Ha, ha, ha, no, no, no, no.
- 17:05What are you doing?
- 17:06Come back, come back.
- 17:08But just because our brain does this, and it's always going to do this,
- 17:13It's always going to do this, doesn't mean to say that we have to let it,
- 17:18doesn't mean to say that we have to listen, doesn't mean to say that it
- 17:21stops us from doing what we want.
- 17:23Because if we, if we didn't, there'd be no growth, you know, nobody
- 17:27would ever do anything, but we can't take that part of our brain away.
- 17:31We can't actually stop that from happening.
- 17:33I can't literally reach in there and stop it because that's how we're designed.
- 17:39It doesn't stop us from, it shouldn't stop us from doing what we're doing.
- 17:42And that's what we're going to talk about today.
- 17:45Is that okay?
- 17:46So let's look at some of these super common blocks.
- 17:49Now I come up against I see blocks all the time with the people that I work with.
- 17:55So we're gonna, I'm gonna go through some of the most common ones.
- 17:58And if you've got something like a question or another block
- 18:02that you're thinking about, they, Oh, I always do this.
- 18:05Then by all means, ask me, because one of the benefits of being here live is
- 18:09that you can literally pick my brains.
- 18:10We can do this together.
- 18:12And.
- 18:13We can start to get some, some real benefits for you
- 18:16because you're here, right?
- 18:18So the first block that I'm going to talk about is hiding or playing
- 18:23small or not being visible.
- 18:25Give me a yes in the chat.
- 18:26If you know exactly what I'm talking about, because this is one of your blocks.
- 18:32So hiding, playing small or not being visible.
- 18:35Give me a yes in the chat.
- 18:37What do you think?
- 18:40This was a big thing for me when I first started.
- 18:43We've got yes.
- 18:44We've got yes, yes, yes, all down.
- 18:47We've got yes.
- 18:49So I'd love to know how, how do you do this?
- 18:52How are you playing small?
- 18:54How are you hiding?
- 18:55What is it that you do?
- 18:56And it might be, we might start seeing similar things popping up, or it
- 18:59might be different for each of you.
- 19:02So let me know how it is for you.
- 19:05What is it that you do?
- 19:06For me, back, back, way back when I first started, and, and it often
- 19:12pops up from time to time now, is my inner critical pop up, or I'll
- 19:18just not, I might not post as much.
- 19:20I might not, I might have been inconsistent with being on social
- 19:23media, or postponing things to do.
- 19:27Yeah, good one, Alicia.
- 19:28Any others, anything else that pops up for you?
- 19:31How are you playing small right now?
- 19:33How are you hiding?
- 19:34Not very good at marketing, so don't do it often or well.
- 19:38Yeah, so you might not share things about your business.
- 19:41You should be out selling, but you don't, yeah, resisting selling is a big one.
- 19:47Resisting selling, avoiding face to face video or FaceTime for videos
- 19:51when I know I need to do more.
- 19:53And often, this is the thing, what Kyla's just hit on, right, is that
- 19:57we know that we need to do it.
- 20:00We know the benefits, we know that it works, but yet we're stopping.
- 20:04Am I right?
- 20:06We all know the benefits, but we're stopping.
- 20:08And we tell ourselves some things like, I don't want to annoy people.
- 20:11Anyone said that?
- 20:12Or thought that?
- 20:14We don't want to annoy people.
- 20:15I don't want to be spamming people.
- 20:17Everybody should know what I do.
- 20:19Or they'll come to me, they already know what I do.
- 20:21Or I've posted once, and it might be once at the beginning
- 20:23of the week or once a while ago.
- 20:25So they should know.
- 20:27You might worry about what other people think.
- 20:29Anyone worry about what other people think?
- 20:30You might even worry about being challenged, especially
- 20:33if imposter syndrome bubbles up for you from time to time.
- 20:40Very rarely share personal stuff.
- 20:42Yeah, especially with follow up emails.
- 20:45So give me some more information, Rachel, do you mind?
- 20:47So what so when you need to follow up with an email, do you struggle with that?
- 20:51Is that what you mean?
- 20:52Avoid videos would mean it.
- 20:53Videos are a big thing, right?
- 20:55So often we do that.
- 20:56We can avoid videos because that's literally putting ourselves out there.
- 21:01Often we can feel as though we can hide behind words or a
- 21:03nice image or something, but.
- 21:05When we're in a video like I'm now, you're literally seeing me, you know, I'm there
- 21:10front and center in front of you so it can feel quite vulnerable and exposing.
- 21:15So I want to tell you a story and please while I'm talking just feel free to
- 21:19just put anything that pops into your head or anything that that you notice
- 21:22that you do because then I can really pick on that and and pick it and help
- 21:27you with some practical solutions.
- 21:30So, I remember years ago, I was doing a a webinar and it was long before
- 21:36guest expert sessions or we didn't have StreamYard or I don't know if we
- 21:40even had Facebook groups back then.
- 21:41So, webinars were quite clunky and you shared your, your slides.
- 21:46And I don't even think that people could chat so much now.
- 21:50So anyway, it's showing my age now.
- 21:52But I was doing a webinar and in this particular webinar, there was
- 21:56over a hundred people registered and had not had over a hundred people.
- 22:01before on that kind of technology.
- 22:04And all of a sudden I started feeling really, really nervous.
- 22:07And I thought, Oh my God, you know, I've got a hundred people.
- 22:10What am I going to do?
- 22:11What if they don't like me?
- 22:12What if I'm rubbish?
- 22:13What if I don't do a good job?
- 22:15And I started to panic a little bit.
- 22:16And this was before the actual session.
- 22:19And I did the thing that only parents will understand.
- 22:23And so I went and started knocked on the door of my teenage daughter's bedroom.
- 22:27Now, my daughter's 26 now, but she was, oh, probably about, I don't
- 22:32know, 14 or 15, something like that.
- 22:35And she was sat on the bed coloring in, like something on the pencil
- 22:39case or notebook or something, and I sat down on the bed.
- 22:42I says, you need to help me out.
- 22:43I says, I'm doing a, a webinar and I'm speaking in front of all of
- 22:47these people and I dunno what to do.
- 22:48I'm really, really nervous about it.
- 22:50And without, without missing a beat.
- 22:53Without missing a beat, my daughter didn't even look up and she said,
- 22:58you're not Madonna, get over yourself.
- 23:00Now in that moment, although I had a teenage slap down, it
- 23:04really did me good because I understood exactly what she meant.
- 23:08Because those people Weren't actually coming to see me.
- 23:12You've not actually come to see me.
- 23:14You, today, you've come because of the topic that we're talking about.
- 23:17It could be anybody sat here talking about this topic and you'd
- 23:20have just turned up the same.
- 23:22So you're coming to, to listen to the topic.
- 23:25And so were those people.
- 23:27It was never about me.
- 23:29And often we put ourselves into the picture.
- 23:32We put, we make it all about us.
- 23:34When actually, it's all about service.
- 23:38And this Totally changed everything about being visible for me because it
- 23:44was always about service when I started thinking about how I could serve the
- 23:49people that were showing up, how I could serve my audience, how I could
- 23:52serve just some random person that was scrolling on Facebook or social media.
- 23:58Everything clicked into place.
- 24:00Because it was never ever about me.
- 24:03It was all about how I could help somebody else.
- 24:06And give me a a yes in the chat if this has ever happened to you.
- 24:10Whether you, when you've been scrolling through social media just randomly,
- 24:13you know, as we do, waiting for the kettle to boil kind of scrolling.
- 24:16And then all of a sudden you stop and you read something where that's, you
- 24:20know, An image or a post or whatever, and it just hits you, yeah, and you
- 24:25think, Oh wow, I needed that today.
- 24:29I really needed that today.
- 24:31And I've lost count of the number of times that people have messaged me that I didn't
- 24:35even know that said, thanks so much.
- 24:37I needed your message today.
- 24:40So we need to be.
- 24:41Playing bigger for the people that need us, and it doesn't matter what
- 24:47our business is because somebody somewhere needs to hear from you.
- 24:51We started our business to serve the people, so if somebody somewhere is
- 24:55looking for your services, someone somewhere is looking for amazing
- 25:00artist ice cream, which again sells.
- 25:02delicious.
- 25:03Someone somewhere is looking for that perfect wedding photographer
- 25:07that just thinks that only you can, you know, somebody somewhere
- 25:10is looking for your services.
- 25:12And when we make, when we're visible, we make it easy for that person.
- 25:17And this is literally what we're here to do.
- 25:19And we'll take everything else out of the equation, our prices or,
- 25:22you know, money or anything else.
- 25:25It's just about service.
- 25:27And things then start to really shift when we take ourselves out of the picture.
- 25:33So, and another thing is it makes it easier for that other person.
- 25:37Not long ago, I think it was probably about three weeks ago, I was talking to a
- 25:40friend of mine and they desperately needed a pet sitter, not just a dog sitter,
- 25:45but a pet sitter to come into their home and look after their animals whilst
- 25:49they were away for a quite a long time.
- 25:51And they couldn't find one anywhere.
- 25:53And then all of a sudden, you know After they've got it organized or they've
- 25:57made other arrangements, somebody was talking and said, you know, I do that.
- 26:01And they went, what do you mean you do that?
- 26:04And they knew each other.
- 26:05And she went, yeah, I thought, I thought you knew.
- 26:08She went, why do you not, why do you not post it or share it?
- 26:11And she went, oh, most people just know that I do it.
- 26:13And this was a really good gig that this person missed out on.
- 26:16And they just assumed that people knew and that they were
- 26:19struggling with being visible.
- 26:20But yeah.
- 26:22People didn't know.
- 26:22We assume that people already know and this is a way to help everybody.
- 26:28So give me a yes in the chats or just give me a little bit of insight
- 26:33in the chat if you can relate, if you make it about yourself.
- 26:37And I did, I did, yeah, I made it about me.
- 26:41What if people don't like me?
- 26:42What do other people think?
- 26:43Rachel's saying, had an inquiry, I reply and then don't want them.
- 26:46Don't hear from them.
- 26:46So tell myself I don't want to annoy people so avoid emailing again.
- 26:50Just on that Rachel I love it.
- 26:53Love it.
- 26:53Love it.
- 26:53Love it when people follow up with me because I forget I'm terrible at emails
- 26:58and I forget and I love it when people go.
- 27:01Oh, do you remember I sent you that email or have you thought about that?
- 27:03And I'm like, oh wow.
- 27:05Yes, I have thought about and yes, I still want it.
- 27:07So please please There's a great saying I think it says the the
- 27:12fortunes in the follow up You So just don't be afraid of following up.
- 27:16Kylie, I think we don't like to see our voices or faces.
- 27:18So we're used to seeing others.
- 27:20We're all so critical.
- 27:21We're so hard on ourselves, aren't we?
- 27:22Kelly, as a consumer, I hate being bombarded with emails.
- 27:26This puts me off following up too much.
- 27:28Again, the follow up.
- 27:30We can always delete it.
- 27:32We can always delete it.
- 27:35Alyssia, I always go to my daughter to ask her point of view.
- 27:37Yeah, it's not just me then, Alyssia.
- 27:39I'm so pleased.
- 27:40It's all about buffering.
- 27:41Yeah, you see posts like that, Rebecca.
- 27:43So this is the thing, then.
- 27:44Take ourselves out of the equation and I want you to start
- 27:47spotting your blocks in action.
- 27:49So after today, what I'd love to invite you to do is just
- 27:53dial up your self awareness that you start spotting your blocks.
- 27:56So when you feel, and we can feel it, right?
- 27:58Because where do you feel it?
- 28:01When you're holding yourself back, because for me, I'm like pressing my stomach now.
- 28:04For me, it's in my stomach.
- 28:05I have clients that feel it in their chest.
- 28:08So where do you feel it in your body when you know that you're
- 28:11holding yourself back or when you know that you're playing small?
- 28:14Just let me know again in the chat because I want you to really be aware of that
- 28:19because once we start to dial up our awareness and we start to spot the blocks
- 28:23in action, we can do something about it.
- 28:25We can make another choice.
- 28:27Now I run a a group called Smasher Unseen and Collected,
- 28:31and in there we have a rule.
- 28:33One, that we don't judge ourselves when a block comes up, and two,
- 28:36we spot the block like we're spotting a squirrel in the park.
- 28:39So when the block comes up, we don't go, Oh, God, I'm so stupid.
- 28:43Why can I not get past this?
- 28:44And this is ridiculous.
- 28:45And we don't do any of that.
- 28:47We literally go, Oh, okay, there's a block.
- 28:50Fair enough.
- 28:50Just like you would if you saw a squirrel in the park.
- 28:53You'd go, oh there's a squirrel.
- 28:55So we spot the block and go, okay, so now we make another choice.
- 28:59So we make another choice.
- 29:00We, instead of always taking the same choice of going, no, I'm not
- 29:03going to do it, or I'm going to second guess, we're now able to
- 29:06go, okay, what do we want to do?
- 29:08What do we really, really want to do in the situation?
- 29:11And then we're able to make that choice without all the
- 29:14noise going on in our head.
- 29:17So we've got chest we've got tummy.
- 29:19So same as me, Alicia's saying tummy as well.
- 29:23And we've got, yes, and it's suddenly liberating to remember.
- 29:25It's about how I can serve my clients and potential clients.
- 29:28And yes, it's all about service.
- 29:31When we start thinking about service, it's no longer about us.
- 29:35It's how can we help other people?
- 29:37Because imagine if we went to the, we were hungry and we needed some bread and milk,
- 29:41which I was doing last night, remember just five minutes before the shop shuts.
- 29:45Needed some bread and milk, and you go to your local shop, or your
- 29:48local supermarket, and you know that they've got what you want,
- 29:52but they're not giving it to you.
- 29:54Oh, no, no.
- 29:56We're not visible today.
- 29:57No, I don't.
- 29:58I don't.
- 29:58I'm a bit nervous about selling today or, oh no, it's we, we, we marketed last week.
- 30:05So we were selling last week.
- 30:06What would we be like?
- 30:07We'd be like, hang on.
- 30:09I want it.
- 30:09I'm literally here.
- 30:10I want to give you some money.
- 30:12What?
- 30:12We wouldn't stand for it.
- 30:14Would we?
- 30:14And this is what we're often doing with our clients.
- 30:17Without us even realizing it, we're going, Oh no, we're holding it.
- 30:21We've got the solution for people.
- 30:23This is what people are wanting, but yet we're holding it.
- 30:27So how can you actually start serving?
- 30:29How can we focus on service and switch it from it being about
- 30:33us to being about service?
- 30:34Okay.
- 30:35Block number one.
- 30:37Block number two then is
- 30:42Give me a yes in the chat if you know that you make excuses
- 30:46for instead of doing stuff.
- 30:48So some excuses might be, I haven't got time, or it might be no one's buying right
- 30:57now, or it might be, I've got a hundred percent, a thousand percent for Kylie.
- 31:03Ooh, I make excuses to myself all the time.
- 31:05Mm hmm.
- 31:06Yeah, we all do.
- 31:06Right.
- 31:07We make excuses.
- 31:08What's your excuse?
- 31:09Put that in the chat.
- 31:11What is your favorite excuse that you make?
- 31:18Because the thing about excuses that make them so incredibly
- 31:21sneaky is that we believe them.
- 31:24They feel like absolute reasons, don't they?
- 31:29They feel like reasons.
- 31:30When my kids were little, my favorite excuse was, I'll do it when
- 31:35the kids are big kids are older.
- 31:37I'll do it when the kids are older.
- 31:38I'd get opportunities.
- 31:39I'll do it when the kids are older.
- 31:41It felt like a reason.
- 31:43It felt like an actual Honest to God reason, but it was just a lie.
- 31:49I was lying to myself because.
- 31:52My kids didn't care if I was doing something different.
- 31:54They were only tiny as long as they were looked after.
- 31:57They weren't bothered about what I was doing in my business.
- 31:59So I was, I was just using it to protect myself.
- 32:04I was using it to keep myself in my familiar, in my comfort zone.
- 32:09So we've got too many things to do.
- 32:12Haven't got everything ready or enough stock or card machine or whatever.
- 32:16Yeah.
- 32:17So let's play a game, right?
- 32:18Let's play a game.
- 32:20I'm going to show you How to tell if it's an excuse or an actual real reason.
- 32:26Harul is fear of judgment.
- 32:27Yeah, I know there is no one judging me.
- 32:29Yeah, we're the ones judging, right?
- 32:31We're the ones judging.
- 32:32So, I want you to think of something that you could do, or you want to
- 32:37do, that will benefit your business.
- 32:40But you're making an excuse why you're not doing it.
- 32:43You've got an excuse why you don't do it.
- 32:44So everybody got something lian excuse why you're not doing a
- 32:46one type one in the chat that I know that you're there with me.
- 32:50So this is something that you want to do in your business.
- 32:52Maybe you've been putting off, maybe it's a comfort zone stretch,
- 32:55you know, it'll benefit your business or you just want to do it.
- 32:59And you're not doing it because of an excuse.
- 33:02Got some ones popping up now.
- 33:04Yes, ones, ones.
- 33:06Okay, now imagine that right now all the ones, okay.
- 33:12I'm going to play along with you.
- 33:14Imagine that right now I'm going to send by pigeon a briefcase
- 33:20with a million pounds in it.
- 33:22But only if you did the thing that you've got an excuse for.
- 33:27You did the thing that you're thinking of.
- 33:29Give me a two in the chat if you would absolutely do it.
- 33:33I'm going to send you a million pounds right now if you do the thing.
- 33:38Would you do it?
- 33:41What do you think?
- 33:43Two's, two's.
- 33:44Yeah, right, of course we would.
- 33:46Of course we would.
- 33:47So what has that told us?
- 33:49It's told us that one, our excuse is just tosh, right?
- 33:54It's just an excuse.
- 33:56It's just an excuse.
- 33:57I could say I'd probably do it for a hundred.
- 33:59Ah, that's good.
- 33:59I'll bring it over to you now, right?
- 34:02It's, our excuse is just tosh.
- 34:04Because, All of a sudden we've found the time.
- 34:07All of a sudden, and I can't remember the name of the person, sorry.
- 34:10Oh, Kylie.
- 34:11All of a sudden Kylie's got enough stock and she's got a card machine
- 34:14and everything ready that she needs.
- 34:16All of a sudden, we've got all of our ducks in a row.
- 34:18We would make it happen.
- 34:20Yeah, put a yes in the chat if you would make it happen.
- 34:24You would, by going through hell or high water, you would make that thing happen.
- 34:30Yes, right.
- 34:31Yes.
- 34:31Yes.
- 34:32And that tells me that we can absolutely do it, but we're
- 34:37looking at the wrong thing.
- 34:39So imagine if you think of your, of a bridge.
- 34:43Remember the, the fairy tale Billy Goat's Gruff, where the, the ghosts
- 34:47were going over the bridge to the green grass at the other side?
- 34:49I kind of imagine this now.
- 34:51So where you are is a bridge.
- 34:54At one side of the bridge and the task that you're putting off is the
- 34:58actual bridge and we start to think, okay, it's going to be too much,
- 35:02it's too hard, it's too overwhelming.
- 35:04I don't know what to do.
- 35:05It's going to be, you know, I've never done it before.
- 35:08What if it don't work?
- 35:10What if it's awful?
- 35:10What if, what if, what if, and all the negative what ifs.
- 35:13But in the moment, in one second, when I said, I'm going to send you a
- 35:17million pounds, we shifted our focus to the other side of the bridge,
- 35:22to the other side of the bridge.
- 35:24And now we're thinking of the million pounds and we don't care about our bridge.
- 35:28That bridge is like gone to as well on a mission, right?
- 35:31We are going to cross that bridge no matter what, where over the other side
- 35:36of the bridge, we're getting nothing.
- 35:37Yeah.
- 35:38So I want you to write down what is the benefit To you or the others or
- 35:45your business for doing the thing that you've been, that you've just been
- 35:49thinking about, that you're putting off.
- 35:52What is the benefit to doing that?
- 35:54What do you get?
- 35:55You might not get a million pounds, maybe you will, who knows?
- 35:58But you might not get a million pounds from me through a briefcase,
- 36:02but you're going to get something.
- 36:04What will you get as a result of doing that thing?
- 36:06So you were thinking of stick that in the chat for me.
- 36:09What will you get?
- 36:13What is the benefit?
- 36:19So for me, it was always like, you'd get more clients or I'd raise my
- 36:23audience, improve, increase my audience.
- 36:25Or am I, am I just the thing might be.
- 36:30I might not be afraid anymore.
- 36:32I now know how to do it.
- 36:34I've stretched myself.
- 36:35I've grown.
- 36:37Yeah.
- 36:37And that's what kind of saying prove to yourself that you can, you've
- 36:40got satisfaction, you know, more.
- 36:42Yeah.
- 36:42And you've got more Joe saying more of the type of business that I want.
- 36:45Amazing.
- 36:47And this is the thing.
- 36:48This is what we need to shift our focus because so often we're
- 36:52focusing on the wrong things.
- 36:54Because when our brain is trying to pull you into the familiar, it's
- 36:57pulling us by telling us all the stuff about the thing that we want
- 37:00to do or that we're avoiding doing.
- 37:03We have to pause, spot the block and think, okay, what is the benefit?
- 37:07Why do I want to do this?
- 37:10What's in it for me?
- 37:11What's in it for other people?
- 37:13What's in it for my business?
- 37:14Why is this a thing that's on my list anyway?
- 37:18We've got, yes, more of the clients that want what we want.
- 37:21And that's amazing.
- 37:22We've got more clients.
- 37:24We've proved to ourselves that we can do it.
- 37:26We've grown.
- 37:27We've stretched that comfort zone.
- 37:28We've got more experience.
- 37:29All of the good stuff, right, is on the other side of that bridge.
- 37:33So instead of focusing on the actual task, if you ever find yourself,
- 37:37avoiding something or resisting it or coming up with an excuse, play
- 37:41that million pound drop game and think, right, okay, what is it?
- 37:44If I got a million pounds for this, or if I got one new
- 37:47client for this, Would I do it?
- 37:50If I did it, if I did it just because I actually want to do
- 37:54it and I want the joy of ticking something off my list, would I do it?
- 37:58Yeah.
- 37:59Then the excuse is gone, right?
- 38:02The excuse is gone.
- 38:03So is there something on your list now that you think, Oh,
- 38:06I'm going to go and do that.
- 38:08I'm going to make it happen.
- 38:09Give me a yes in the chat if that's you.
- 38:13And we are going to go on to block number three, which is
- 38:16getting busy on the small stuff.
- 38:19Anyone relate?
- 38:20Where we get busy every single day on the small stuff, all the things
- 38:25that are not going to move the needle for us, we are busy doing.
- 38:30Let me know what number shall we have?
- 38:32Shall we, let's have a number five.
- 38:33We've not had that.
- 38:34Number five, who gets busy on the small stuff?
- 38:39Now I can completely relate.
- 38:41I have been there with bells on.
- 38:42I know exactly what that feels like.
- 38:44And I see so many of my clients doing that too.
- 38:46And what sometimes at the end of the day, we go, Crikey, I've been so busy today.
- 38:51And then you don't know.
- 38:52what you've achieved, or you don't see any progress.
- 38:54You don't actually see any momentum.
- 38:56And this, this is where frustration lives, right?
- 38:59Because busy doesn't equal productive.
- 39:03So we need to start being really discerning about the stuff that
- 39:07we're doing so that we're only doing stuff that moves the needle.
- 39:11And yes, there's always going to be little bits and pieces.
- 39:14That has to be done that it's like that.
- 39:16It's like that with every business in every job, right?
- 39:19It's always going to be stuff that needs to be done But we need to be
- 39:24spending most of our time if we look at the 80 20 ratio We need to spend an 80
- 39:27percent of our time working on the stuff that's actually going to be moving the
- 39:30needle for us Okay, so we've got Kelly.
- 39:33Yes, the small stuff always takes up too much time.
- 39:36And there's no such thing as a five minute job.
- 39:38Yeah.
- 39:39So these are things that like updating your website for the up to the time
- 39:46or writing an email for the up to the time or, you know, just Messing about
- 39:50with things that nobody really sees or it doesn't actually won't actually
- 39:53make any kind of change to, to your results just because, and often just
- 39:59because we want to cross that off our list and we want that dopamine rush
- 40:01of just crossing things off our list.
- 40:04Yeah.
- 40:04Rachel saying social media and blog posts may take so long, take so long.
- 40:10And the thing is that that's actually quite beneficial though, isn't it?
- 40:13Because somebody is helping with your marketing and it's
- 40:16helping with your visibility.
- 40:18Maybe It's about batching then.
- 40:20So who batches, who batches things like social media and blog posts
- 40:24and just your, your, your visibility
- 40:28because batching is so, so good where you just focus all your
- 40:32time, a block of time on one thing.
- 40:35Because again, one thing that we can often do is flip from
- 40:39one type of task to another.
- 40:41So we might do a social media post over here and then we'll do we might
- 40:44prepare for a fair over here, or we might do some emails over here.
- 40:49And so in our day, we're switching hats all the time.
- 40:53So have a go, if you haven't as yet, have a go at just batching some, a
- 40:58block of time, maybe a morning or, you know, a couple of hours where you
- 41:02just literally go, this is just social media, or this is just, I've just got
- 41:06blog posts on my, On my radar today.
- 41:09And then you're in that mode already kind of saying you plan about a week or two.
- 41:16It's ahead for Facebook and Instagram.
- 41:17Amazing.
- 41:18And if you can schedule it as well.
- 41:20So much the better.
- 41:21Again, that depends on you and what you prefer to do in your business.
- 41:24But they look at ways that you can actually take off to tick off rather
- 41:29some big stuff in a block of time.
- 41:34So the other thing, right.
- 41:35is when it comes to getting busy on the small stuff is do you have anything on
- 41:40your to do list that you've been avoiding?
- 41:43Anything on your to do list that kind of goes from one day, to the next day, to the
- 41:47next day, to the next day, and it always kind of gets shoved on to the next day.
- 41:51Oh, I'll do that tomorrow, I didn't get time today.
- 41:53I'll do that tomorrow and I didn't get time today.
- 41:55Anyone do that?
- 41:57Cause these are what I call like broken record tasks where they always just
- 42:01get moved from one day to the next.
- 42:03And these are the tasks that often really make a difference, but there
- 42:06might be a comfort zone stretch.
- 42:08They might take a little bit of extra time, but they make, they've
- 42:12got weight attached to them that if you really focused on them all of a
- 42:15sudden, you know, mountains would move.
- 42:18Yeah.
- 42:19Yeah.
- 42:20They can say, I'm always moving tasks.
- 42:21I'm a bit scared of doing.
- 42:22Yeah, exactly.
- 42:24So after today, if you've got your notebook right down, Look at
- 42:27your to do list, and I want you to circle the things that would
- 42:30actually move the needle for you.
- 42:33That if you did it, it might be a little bit scary, it might be a little
- 42:36bit more time consuming, but if you did it, you would be having a dance
- 42:40party right round your kitchen tonight.
- 42:43You'd feel amazing.
- 42:44And it might even take you a couple of days to do it.
- 42:47But man, would it make a difference to your business and to you?
- 42:52So if that's, if you've got something like that, stick it on you to do this
- 42:55and literally glue yourself to the chair, make that commitment for this week.
- 43:00So if you want to get some accountability with your, your friends in the
- 43:03group, then stick it in these groups, right in the chat now and say, I'm
- 43:07going to commit to start in this.
- 43:09I'm committing to starting this today because I know it will
- 43:12really make a difference for me.
- 43:15Kylie's saying, I still haven't started my Pinterest course
- 43:17and I know it's so important.
- 43:18Don't know why I haven't.
- 43:20Yes, today's the day, right Kylie?
- 43:23Today's the day.
- 43:24Sit down, nice cup of tea and get started.
- 43:27Okay, block number four is Starting again.
- 43:32Who has done this?
- 43:33And I don't mean starting your business again.
- 43:34I mean starting a particular project again, or you have an idea and you get
- 43:39to a point where you're about to do it and you go, Oh no, it's not good enough.
- 43:42It's not good enough.
- 43:43I'm going to go back to the drawing board.
- 43:45Who has done that?
- 43:47Okay.
- 43:47No judgment.
- 43:49We're just spotting the block.
- 43:51Spotting the block.
- 43:52Anyone does that, do that.
- 43:55And again, I have absolutely been there, where you get to the point where
- 43:58you're just about to post it, maybe you're just about to send the email,
- 44:01or you're just about to send your newsletter out, we're just about to
- 44:04put the put your blog post out into the world, and you go, oh, I don't know.
- 44:08I'm gonna just have another go at that.
- 44:10Just have another go at that and see what happens.
- 44:14And this is again, is such a common block because we end up stuck in
- 44:19the loop and we again, we're not getting the momentum that we want.
- 44:23Rachel's saying, I do this with Reels on social.
- 44:26Brilliant.
- 44:26So we've spotted it.
- 44:27It's now time to just embrace it.
- 44:30Embrace inspired in perfect action.
- 44:33This is literally my mantra, inspired in perfect action, because we don't
- 44:39want to get caught up in perfection.
- 44:41There's nothing in the world that's perfect, certainly none of us are perfect.
- 44:46And so, and right, just on that, we're not actually perfect.
- 44:50Attracted to perfect people.
- 44:53We love people that are rough around the edges, that have got something
- 44:56to say that we can relate to, yeah?
- 44:58That are just normal, everyday people like us.
- 45:01If you think of the movie stars that we probably love the most, they're
- 45:04the people that you think, actually I could go out for a beer with them, or
- 45:07actually I could sit and have a coffee and a cake with them, and I'd feel okay.
- 45:11Right.
- 45:11We want to feel like we can relate to people.
- 45:14We want it.
- 45:15So we were attracted to things that are a little bit rough around the edges.
- 45:19And when we let go of perfection, again, that accelerates everything.
- 45:24Becca saying this is one block I identified a while ago.
- 45:27So now I always tell people I'm announcing something so
- 45:29that it forces me to go ahead.
- 45:30Amazing.
- 45:31Get some accountability.
- 45:33Post it on social, tell people and say, I'm doing this by this day.
- 45:36And if I haven't, you can, you know, hold me accountable to that, which is
- 45:41why groups like this are just amazing.
- 45:44The fact that you're all together and that you're all in the same industry
- 45:47means that you can start to use each other for some accountability and do, do that.
- 45:53At Joe, you're saying not anymore.
- 45:54For years I've always gone for a hundred percent.
- 45:56Now I realized that 95 percent is good enough.
- 45:59Absolutely.
- 46:00The final 5 percent takes more time than the 95%.
- 46:03So true.
- 46:04So, so true.
- 46:06So as we've been talking, what other blocks have been coming up for you?
- 46:10Because I'm noticing time and I want to talk about how to actually sidestep
- 46:14it once we get, once we've noticed them, because actually spotting the
- 46:19block is the hardest bit because they become part of our everyday life.
- 46:24And if we're not careful, we can stand behind them and go, Oh, that's just me.
- 46:28Oh, I'm always.
- 46:30Putting things off for tomorrow.
- 46:31Oh, I'm always, I'm always too busy or I'm always doing this.
- 46:35We can start to make it part of our personality and in actual
- 46:38fact, we don't need to do that.
- 46:40They're just blocks.
- 46:41They're just bad habits and I call these out of date habits.
- 46:45So if you saw this, if this habit were a piece of food and it was in your
- 46:48fridge, you'd be slinging it, right?
- 46:50You'd be putting it in the bin and replacing it with something
- 46:53that was much more interesting, which serves you a lot more.
- 46:57So all the blocks that we've talked about today, I'd love you to just, if you've
- 47:00not already done that, scribble them down.
- 47:03Cause these are the most common blocks that I see popping up with
- 47:05business owners, but scribble them down and think, okay, have I got this?
- 47:09How I got this?
- 47:09How do I do this?
- 47:10How do I do this?
- 47:11And really dial up that self awareness so we can start to spot it in action.
- 47:16And if there's another block that's popping up, popping up for you.
- 47:19Stick it in the chat and let's, let's just talk about it.
- 47:22Rachel, yes, Becca really helped me with putting my prices up and said,
- 47:25just put it online and do it, do it.
- 47:28So number one is getting the habit of spotting your blocks and
- 47:32visualizing what it is that you want rather than what you don't want.
- 47:36So really start to spot your blocks in action.
- 47:39So as they're popping up throughout the day, Maybe you're starting to do
- 47:42something and your inner critic pops up.
- 47:44Just on that, who's got an inner critic in here?
- 47:47Just give me a yes.
- 47:48If your inner critic has a blooming loud voice, like they have got a mic, they've
- 47:53got a loud speaker and they're always telling you, no, no, you can't do that.
- 48:00What do you think you're doing?
- 48:02Okay.
- 48:03Start spotting these blocks popping up and we don't judge ourselves.
- 48:07We just spot our blocks.
- 48:09The thing is about our inner critic.
- 48:11Is there again, just another thought.
- 48:13It's just a thought, and just because we're thinking it
- 48:16doesn't mean to say it's true.
- 48:17Because, I don't know about you, but I think a lot of things
- 48:20that are just rubbish, yeah?
- 48:21Just random thoughts just popping in and out of my head all through the day.
- 48:25They're just thoughts, it doesn't mean to say anything.
- 48:27And our inner critic is a thought.
- 48:29One thing that really helps with your inner critic is to name your
- 48:33inner critic because what that does it provides you with some distance.
- 48:36It's no longer, we no longer confuse it with our thoughts,
- 48:41with our internal voice.
- 48:43It's just another thought that some, you know, whoever your inner critic is.
- 48:48It says, mine's margarine, so whenever like she pops up and
- 48:52says, Oh, you can't do that.
- 48:53And what will happen if this happens?
- 48:56You just go, Oh, enough.
- 48:57I'm just going to do it anyway.
- 48:58Just going to do it anyway.
- 49:00I'm going to crack on and do it anyway.
- 49:01Because if that happened in real life, you just got, you wouldn't listen.
- 49:05If somebody just popped up and said, Oh, you can't plant your tree there,
- 49:09or you can't park your car there.
- 49:11And it's your drive.
- 49:12You just do it anyway.
- 49:13Yeah.
- 49:13You just didn't know.
- 49:14I'm just going to do what I want.
- 49:16So have a go at naming your inner critic, but number one, get in
- 49:20the habit of spotting your block.
- 49:21Spot your block.
- 49:22Start today.
- 49:23Just spot your block.
- 49:24Number two, do something when you get that block or your dip, or
- 49:29you can feel it, whether it's your stomach or your chest, do something.
- 49:33to make yourself feel good.
- 49:36So you might have put some music on, you might start just stretch and change your,
- 49:41your, your the way that you sat or just have a bit of a walk around the room and
- 49:45just just change your state a little bit.
- 49:48And then number three is act fast.
- 49:52Act fast, don't give your thoughts or your feelings or your block
- 49:56time to actually raise their head.
- 49:59Just act faster.
- 50:00So as Becca said earlier, put it on social and say, this is coming soon.
- 50:04Put it in the Facebook group and say, I'm doing this, put your prices up
- 50:07fast, contact that email, contact that customer, send that follow up
- 50:11email fast, press send and then go.
- 50:14I remember when I started sending blog posts and new weekly newsletters out.
- 50:19Oh, it was probably back in 2010 or 11 or something, and that was all the rage.
- 50:23It was only the only way that we could ever, we could really communicate.
- 50:26We didn't have, like, online stuff as much back then.
- 50:29And so, I used to just stress over pressing the button, pressing the button.
- 50:34And then after a while, I realized that the faster you
- 50:36do it, the quicker it's done.
- 50:37So I'd literally, Go up, press the button, slam my laptop shut and walk out the room.
- 50:42And now you do it without even thinking about it.
- 50:46So if there's something that you're feeling a little bit nervous about,
- 50:50like applying to that wedding fair, going to that thing, then
- 50:53press the button, do the thing.
- 50:55And you walk away, done.
- 50:56No problem, Alyssia.
- 50:58I hope you have a lovely swim in lesson.
- 51:00So act fast.
- 51:02And number five, always, always do the task that's going to
- 51:07move the needle for you most.
- 51:09So the first thing you do during the morning, look at your to do list and
- 51:12go, right, what's going to move the needle most for my business today?
- 51:16If I do nothing else in my business, because things are always popping
- 51:19up from left field, what is actually going to make the most
- 51:22difference today and do that first.
- 51:25And then you can start getting momentum.
- 51:29Becca: I really hope you enjoyed today's sneaky look inside the members lounge.
- 51:33Portal.
- 51:34I hope that you will consider joining us in the members lounge.
- 51:37We have current up to date training just like this every single month,
- 51:40plus a huge library of training that we've had previously.
- 51:43Also, if you want to see this video again, but with the PowerPoint visuals
- 51:47or with the Q and a at the end, you'll find it all inside the members lounge.
- 51:50I'll see you next time.