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Andy Stanley - Winning · Andy Stanley Sermons

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Today I want to talk about winning. Yeah, okay, so today I
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want to talk about winning, thank you because because and here's the bottom line.
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So you might want to write this down or thumb this down, or
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you know, because you know, this is kind of the bottom line in
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case you have to leave earlier, you lose power at home, because the
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bottom line is simply this. I want to talk about winning because winning is
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better than not winning. Winning is better, thank you, than not winning.
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And I know this for a fact, because I have been a not
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winner. Okay, the being a not winner started for me in the eighth
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grade when I tried out for eighth grade basketball. Took her high school,
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and I got cut at the last night. There were something I think the
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whole everybody in the eighth grade went out for eighth grade basketball, boys basketball,
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and it took her high school. At the time, high school was
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eight through twelfth grade, not nine through twelfth grade. I don't know why
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they did it that way. We didn't have middle school. Anyway, I
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got cut from the team, and it was so traumatic for me. I've
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told some of you this story. I honestly, I'm not exaggerating. I
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never tried out for anything again. For the rest of my life to this
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very day, I have never ever entered any kind of competitive thing that I
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thought I could get cut from. It was so traumatic. Now I've assumed
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all these years that I was just a coward. And then along came the
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Enneagram. Any Anyagram fans in the house, I yeah, yeah, yeah,
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all the eights raise their hand and you know the seventh. Anyway,
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so what I discovered was I'm not a coward. I'm a five on the
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Enneagram and fives on the enneagrams. We don't like to do anything that we're
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not sure we can succeed at. So God made me this way. So
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anyway, it helped myself esteem to know I'm not a coward. This is
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just the way I'm wired. I don't like to do anything I can't succeed
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that. I was reminded of this some years later after I was married,
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and we would go on vacation with Sanders' family and they would always want to
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play a day, have a day of golf, like the whole family goes
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and plays golf, all the guys of course, and of course I didn't
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play golf in fact, in my whole life up to this day. I
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have played five rounds of golf, not like in a weekend, like in
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a lifetime. Okay, so you can imagine how good I wasn't And so
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I would always say, no, you guys, go ahead, I'll just
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stay here and build sand castles with the kids and the girls. You know.
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I just I don't want to go. So finally I'm thinking, okay,
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this is ridiculous. So I went and it was terrible. The next
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summer I went, it was terrible. So the third summer and the last
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summer, I'm like, I really don't want to do this. I just
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feel horrible. And so my father in law, I think, to help
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me, said hey, why don't we all go to the driving range the
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night before we have our family golf tournament. Like that's going to help me.
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So we all go to the golf the driving range and it's dark.
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We got there late at night, and of course it's kind of lit up.
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And so honestly, and for those of you who play golf, forgive
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me if I don't even know how to say this correctly. I was hitting
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grounders. Is that a golf term? Okay? I was hitting ground I
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know it's a baseball. I was hitting grounders. You know what I mean
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by a grounder, like they were just staying on the ground. Okay.
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I was hitting grounders with the golf club on the golf bat anyway, and
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there was a young lady and in front of me, and she was hitting
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her golf balls into outer space. They were disappearing into the dark because into
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the night sky, and I think they're you know, they're like they're circling
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the earth. I mean, it was. It was amazing. So when
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she finished her bucket of balls. It's kind of weird, I know,
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I said, excuse me, can I ask you a question? She turned
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around. I said how old are you? I said, in fact,
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I said, I know this is creepy. How old are you? She
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said, I'm fourteen. So I stepped out of the batter's box with my
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golf club and I went down found my father in law who was far away,
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and I put my club in his bag and I said, I'm going
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to go sit in the car. You guys take whatever time you want,
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but I can't do this anymore. And that was the end of golf for
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me. And as I was sitting in the car, I knew, you
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know, in an hour thirty minutes whenever they're all going to come back and
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be like, are you okay? Do you feel okay? So I formulated
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a statement, and I really made this up, and this is what I
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told them, and I have used this every day every time golf comes up.
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This is the statement I give, and some of you may want to
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use this. I'm going to put her on this. So this was what
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I said when they came back and said, is everything okay? Here's what
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I said. If I want to feel bad about myself, there are less
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expensive and less time consuming ways to do. So I promise I'm not making
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this up. This is what I said. And whenever golf comes up,
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because I get invited all the time to go to the great places, I'm
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like, you know what, if I wanted to feel bad about myself because
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I'm a five, I don't want to fail, so I don't want to
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try something I'm going to fail at. So the point of all that is
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simply this. Today. I want to talk about winning, but personally,
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I'm not really much of a competitor. I'm not competitive and maybe you aren't
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either, But I just wanted you to know that you know you're not the
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only one in the room, so I don't lose you on this topic.
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Others of you are so competitive that you have lost respect for me because you're
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so competitive. It's like you are such a loser. I mean, what
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do you what you know? Because you're come on, you're so competitive.
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When you were a child, you were the one that wanted to finish our
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your food the fastest and your parents are like, slow down. It's like,
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no, everything in your life has been a race. Everything's a race.
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Everything's competitive. You always have to win because you know, in my
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mind, I hear a little voice. My little voice says this, Hey,
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you can't win, so I try. That's what I hear. What
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you hear is winning is everything. Try anything. Winning is everything. Try
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anything, so you rise to the challenge. You're willing to do new stuff.
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It's it's amazing. You scare me a little bit, but it's amazing.
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And I understand this. I have three kids, and all three of
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my kids that are not like me, they try everything. My sons are
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so competitive and I wish I was more like that. But the point is,
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regardless of where you are on the spectrum, like me, hey,
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if I can't win, why try? Or hey, I'll try anything once,
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and I'll compete because it's it's just you know, you just love the
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game, and you are in the habit of making the game out of everything
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regardless. Winning is important because winning is better than not winning, especially in
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the arena that matters most, and the arena that matters most, of course,
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is your life. Which leads me to a question that I want to
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leave you with today that I hope you'll wrestle with a little bit. For
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some of you, and I can attest to this because this is true for
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me. This could actually be a life changing question. I'm not exaggerating.
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You'll see in just a minute. This is a question that I hope you'll
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wrestle with. This is a question that perhaps I hope you'll wrestle with for
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the rest of your life. For those of you who are parents, I
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hope that at some point you could introduce this into your conversation with your kids,
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because if you do not answer this for yourself, you will spend too
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much of your life. To use a phrase that King Solomon would use in
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the Book of Ecclesiastes, you will spend much of your life chasing the wind
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instead of winning. You'll spend your life chasing the wind. This is a
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question that most people never ask. Consequently, it's a question that most people
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never answer. And if you don't answer it, if you don't answer it,
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in some arena of your life, maybe not your whole life, but
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in some arena of life, life will begin to feel like a race that
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you feel the pressure to finish, but you're not sure where the course is,
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and the course doesn't seem to be laid out very well, and everybody
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else seems to be running with purpose and you're just running, but you don't
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know how to run with purpose because you're just not sure where the race ends,
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but you feel the pressure to finish it. Life begins to feel like
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a game that you feel pressure to win, but you don't know the rules,
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and everybody else seems to know the rules, and they seem to feel
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like they're winning, and you feel the pressure to play this game, but
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you're just not sure what the rules are. And here's the question I want
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to introduce and ask you to think about, what's the win? What's the
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win? It's difficult in any arena of life to know that you're winning if
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you've never identified the win. What's the win relationally, If you're in a
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relationship, what's the win for that relationship? You're in a serious relationship,
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you're dating somebody, maybe you're close to being engaged, maybe you're engaged,
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maybe you're a newlywed, been married for wawat. But what's the win?
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I mean, you're in love. I mean that's great, but you didn't
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have much control over that, right, you just fell into that. But
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now, what's the win? Financially? I mean all of us think about
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money, and we think about money all the time. Every day. We're
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trying to make as much as we can and save some. But what's the
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win? If you're married, what's the win for your marriage? I'll tell
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your mine in just a few minutes. What's the win for your family?
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If you have kids? What's your win? Professionally? You see, depending
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on how you're wired. Some of you men and women, generally men more
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than women, but it can be anybody. If you don't know what the
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win is professionally, did you know, you'd be like somebody who's running a
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race and you run past the finish line and you just keep running and you're
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exhausted, and everybody's like, what's up with you, and what's going on
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and why are you so driven? And why can't you relax? And why
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can't you enjoy life? And you'll just feel like, no, I gotta
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keep running, and you feel that to some extent because you never identified the
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win in the areas of life and the areas of life that matter most.
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Most people never define the win. And here's the real tragedy. And this
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is where some of you are right now. And I'm not being critical,
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this is this is why you're here, this is why you're listening, this
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is maybe why you're watching. If you don't define the win for yourself,
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you'll end up adopting somebody else's. You will date like everybody else dates.
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You will spend your money like everybody else spends their money. You will spend
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your time like everybody else spends their time. You will parent, either like
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you were parented or in reaction to how you were parented, or you'll simply
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take your parenting cues from everybody else around you. You'll work like everybody else.
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You will settle for what my friend Adam Johnson calls not goals. Adam
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Johnson's our lead pastor up at Brownsbridge, and he talks about living for too
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long with not goals. You know, you know what a not goal is.
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A not goal is, well, I'm not gonna be like him.
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I'm not gonna be like her. I'm not gonna be like my dad.
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I'm not gonna be like my mom. I'm not gonna parent like they parented
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me. I'm not gonna do I'm not. I'm not. And you're gonna
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set not goals and not goals are not enough because not goals are not wins.
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And you will be inclined, and we've all been there, you'll be
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inclined to blame and compare yourself through life, especially when you begin to feel
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like and you may not use this term, but you have some term that
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parallels it. When you begin to feel like, in any arena of life
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you're not winning, you'll blame and you'll compare. And the problem maybe you
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never decided what a win was to begin with. So what's the win?
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What's the win? If you don't know what the win is, it's hard
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to tell if you're winning. And let me ask it this way, what's
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the win in this season? Because in every season of life there are different
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wins. I've shared this with some of you before. When I was in
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my late twenties, I read a book that challenged me to think deeply about
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my character, to think deeply about who I was. And I wasn't thinking
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in terms so much of a win. I wasn't using that word, but
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it's exactly what it challenged me to do. It challenged me to think about,
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Andy, what is the win for you as it relates to who you
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are, the person that you want to become. And so I went through
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a little exercise and I came up with seven words, and I wrote down
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these seven words, and I decided, I want these seven words to define
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me. If I get to the end of my life and people stand up
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at my funeral to talk about me and they describe me as any one of
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these seven words, that will be a win, that will be a finished
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line. I will have lived my life in such a way that I was
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the person that I always wanted to become. So I wrote down seven words.
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Now you think, well, that's kind of silly. I don't want
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to do that. You don't have to do that. But let me just
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say something real quick before I move on. Did you know that when people
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think about you, words come to mine. Did you know that when your
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brother in law or your brother, your sister, your sister in law,
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your husband, your wife, your kids, your grandkids? Did you know
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that when you come to mind, words come to mind? And the reason
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you know this is because when you think of other people, words come to
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mind. He's so, she's such, a, they're so, he always
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she. When you come to mind, words come to mind. Have you
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ever given any thought to what you want those words to be? Wouldn't that
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be a win to decide ahead of time and to order your life, and
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to order your conduct, and to order your character in such a way that
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you define the win for your who you are and who people perceive you to
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be. If you're a newlywed or you've been into marriage maybe two or three
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years, what's the win? Now I'm gonna share what Sandra and I's marriage
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win is. And I don't want you to snicker, okay, because we
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came up with this early into marriage, all right. I just want to
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let you know. So it's a little idealistic, it's a little corny.
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So the proper response is not to laugh. The proper response is to go,
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ah, let's just practice ready, Oh, Okay, that was a
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girls. Okay, guys too. Already everybody's gonna be like, ah,
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yeah, that's all. That's so precious. Okay. So we were we
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hadn't been married long, but three days ago I was talking to Sandra and
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I said, hey, I'm to share this corny little statement that you know
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that we've used all these years. Is that? Okay? We both kind
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of laughed. But you know what, thirty years in, we've been married
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thirty years, it's still it's still the thing. It's still the win for
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us. And I'm not suggesting you adopt it. I'm just suggesting, if
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you're married, what's the win? The win is it? Well, we
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never got divorced. Wow, I mean in our culture, that's kind of
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a win, right right, there's but I mean, I mean we just
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gutted it out. You know, I hate to see you're coming, but
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by god, you know that's not the wind. Right. Nobody didn't stand
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at the altar and say, you know, anyway, we kind of do
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till death do us part. That's such an awful thing, Till death do
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us part. It's like, wow, I'm looking forward to that. So
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anyway, so here's here's our statement, Okay, it's corny. We were
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young, you know, foolish. Hey, we still talking these terms.
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Our win. We decided it was to always want to be where the other
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person is. Thank you. Oh shucks, I know, and that's great.
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Yeah, we just decided, you know what I mean, This isn't
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complicated. We didn't have a verse or a scripture or something from Psalms,
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you know, and nothing embroidered. It was just, hey, you know
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what if at every season of our life, I want to be where you
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are and you want to be where I am. I you know, that's
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when. So what would happen is from time to time I would ask This
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is how I would ask Sandra how we were doing with her. I would
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say, hey, I know this corny, Okay, this is just us.
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I'm not you don't have to mimic this. I would say, hey,
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do you do you still like it when you hear my car pulling the
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driveway at the end of the day. Then we had a garage. Then
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I would say, hey, do you do you like it when you still
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like it when you hear the garage door opening? And sometimes she would say
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to me, you know what, I still love it when I hear the
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garage door opening, and that was her way of saying, you know what,
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I still like being with you. And then she would she would ask
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me this, She would say, Hey, Andy, do you still like
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being at home more than you like being at work? Do you like being
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at home? Do you still like being at home more than you like being
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at work? So for us, we decided to win wasn't money. The
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win was. The win was just if you know, ten years in,
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twenty years and thirty years in, I still want to be where you are,
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and you still want to be where I am. I mean, you
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may come up with a better one. That's a pretty good one. The
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point is you need one because in marriage it's so complicated, it's so emotional,
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it's so busy. Right. Hey, for those of you who are
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parents, what's your win for parenting? Let me tell you what it shouldn't
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be. And again I'm kind of sticking my nose in your business if you're
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in Most parents don't never write anything down. I mean, whatce you're a
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parent who has time to write anything down? Right? You can't find anything.
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So the win for parenting for a lot of parents by default, because
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they don't think about it is perfectly behave kids. I just want my kids
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to behave. I just want my kids to behave. Now they've never you
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don't write that down because when you write it down it seems so shallow.
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But in terms of how you spend your time with your kids and what you
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say to your kids, if you're not careful, you will parent toward behavior
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modification, you will parent toward you know, behavior control, and when they
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get out of control, you just get to put him in time out because
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that's the easiest thing to do. We never ever use time out as a
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discipline in our family. That's the subject for another day. But because we
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had a different goal and the goal for parenting, my opinion shouldn't just be
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perfectly educated kids. They're perfectly behave and they're perfectly educated, and then we
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perfectly didn't see them very much after that because they didn't want to come back
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to our perfect home or I don't know how that works. So so perfectly
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educated kids, I mean, we want our kids to be educated, we
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want them to behave. But just if you would just spend some time as
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parents thinking, okay, so when they're gone and we're looking back on this
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whole thing, what's the win Because you are, whether you know it or
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not, parents, You are parenting in a direction you are. So Sandra
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and I we came up with a statement. I know again, you don't
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have to adopt ours. Andrew, our oldest was in a car seat.
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That's how young you was. We were on our way to family vacation where
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else, deciding whether or not to play golf, Yes, the same vacation.
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And Andrews in the backseat, and we're talking about should we have you
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know what we what do we do? We don't know what we're doing,
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you know? So we talked and talking, and I loved the way her
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family acted with each other. Her family was very family centric. There were
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five of them, the three kids and the parents, and they love to
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be together. And I love the fact that they love to be together.
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When four of them were together, they would always call the fifth one and
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make fun of them for not being there, a sorry you're not here,
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you're missing out on a meal, you're missing out on that. I love
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that. My family not so much. We weren't that way. I loved
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it. So here's the statement that we came up with. This was our
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goal for parenting again. I don't have a Bible verse. This was just
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what we felt like the win was. As parents, we wanted children who
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want to be with one another and with us when they no longer have to
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be. We wanted our kids when they were older to want to be with
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each other and with us when they were old enough that they didn't have to
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be, And we parented toward this north star. And I'm telling you,
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once you decide what the win and win is, whatever the win is,
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you will change your parenting style, and you will change the way you discipline
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and the way you talk when you realize what are we trying to get to?
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This was an extraordinarily important part of our life and our parenting. Now
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our kids are in their twenties and they don't have to do anything we tell
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them to do, and they love to be together, and we think they
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still love to be with us. At least they're faking it if they're not.
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Now, here's the deal. Regardless of where you are on a faith
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journey, this isn't really even about a faith journey. We'll get to that
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in just a minute. Regardless of where you are on a faith journey,
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or whether or not you're even on a faith journey. You need to spend
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some time identifying the win. What's the win. It doesn't have to be
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perfect, it doesn't even have to be right, it might even change.
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Just give some thought to it, because in the arenas of life that matter
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most, you want to win, because winning is better than not winning.
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And if you don't know what you're aiming for it, right, you've heard
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it, you'll hit it every time. And you don't want to just go
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and draw target on the barn because you shot first and then drew the target
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later. Right, you don't want to do that. And we'll talk about
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just a minute why important, This is how import and this is as it
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relates to the different seasons of life. So what I want to do with
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the rest of our time is I want to show you a win statement.
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It's not really called that, it's kind of made that up. A win
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statement from the New Testament by a gentleman who has influenced all of our lives,
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either directly or indirectly. Certainly indirectly in that we don't know him,
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but in terms of his literature, he really did shape all of our lives
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because of his words and because of his letters, and of course I'm talking
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specifically about, well, he showed up in history as Saul of Tarsus,
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and then he became a Jesus follower, started using his Roman name, and
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so we know him as Paul or the Apostle Paul, and the Apostle Paul's
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win. He's going to give us his statement in First Corinthians, his win,
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and maybe you can relate to this, and this should be encouraging his
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win. What he decided the win was for his life was actually a response
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to a failure. It was actually a response to a loss in his life,
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because he steps into history as someone who has decided to put out of
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business a Nazarene sect or a Nazarene cult that sort of revolved around this Nazarene
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rabbi named Jesus. He decided, I'm going to put that out of business
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because it's disturbing the world order between the Jews and the Romans, and we
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can't let that happen. So we got to put this thing out of business.
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So he started rounding up all the Christians and having them arrested, He
20:17
had some of them tortured, tried to get many of them to abandon this
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Nazarene sect and go back to first century Judaism. People died under his leadership
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as a result of him going too far. People were maimed, and so
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he had a track record of being very violent. But he thought he was
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serving God. He thought he was doing the right thing. And then he
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meets the resurrected Jesus uh oh, and he realizes, oh, no,
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I thought I was doing something for God. I was actually working against God.
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And then now he's got all of that has passed, and he feels
20:49
so guilty, and he feels so terrible, and for the rest of his
20:52
life he's going to run into people. It's like, oh, yeah,
20:55
I saw of tar, Yeah yeah, yeah, did you know you had
20:59
my brother arrested and he's not been able to walk since. You know,
21:02
I know someone whose daughter in law you we arrested and we haven't seen her.
21:07
Haven't seen her since the rest of his life, he would run into
21:10
people whose families he destroyed because of his zealousness to do something for God,
21:15
even though he was misinformed. So he steps into history as that person about
21:18
here's how he says it. Because he became an apostle, a follower of
21:22
Jesus. But here's his words. He said, for I'm the least of
21:25
the apostles talking about you know, Andrew and Matthew and John and all the
21:29
guys that follow Jesus. He's on the least of these guys. I don't
21:32
even deserve to be called an apostle, why, Paul, Because I persecuted
21:36
the Church of God. But by the grace of God, I love this
21:40
little phrase. I am what I am. In other words, I can't
21:45
change the past. I can't go back and undo what I've done. I
21:48
am who I am, with all that baggage and with all that stuff.
21:52
I am what I am. And God's grace to me was not without effect.
21:56
In other words, God did not waste his time coming after me.
22:00
God did not waste his time revealing himself to me. God did not waste
22:04
his time. Now I work harder than all the rest of them. In
22:07
other words, you know Matthew, and you know John and James and Bartholomew.
22:11
I mean, those guys are great, but I'm outworking all of them.
22:14
And I feel like I need to outwork all of them because of what
22:15
I did in the past. And sure enough, the letters that he wrote
22:18
to the churches around the Mediterranean room they shaped and continue to shape Western civilization.
22:23
It's amazing. He's the one that introduced Jesus to the non Jewish world,
22:27
and in Firse Corinthians he explains what the win for his life is,
22:32
and I'm going to show it to you. But here's my point. My
22:33
point is not that you would adopt or adapt his win. My point is
22:37
showing you his win is what he says afterwards, because what he says afterwards
22:41
gives us an insight into what we have to do if we want to win
22:47
in the arenas of life that matter most. So here's his win statement,
22:51
followed by the motivation or his approach afterwards. So here's what he says.
22:53
I'll hit this quick, he says. Though I am free and belong to
22:59
no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone to win as many
23:03
as possible. So Paul, what you're win is, he would say,
23:06
My win is to win people. I want to convince Jewish people that Jesus
23:10
is their Messiah, and I want to convince Gentile people that God has done
23:12
something in the world on their behalf and through the person of Jesus. He
23:15
says, So here's what I did to the Jews. I became like a
23:18
Jew to win the Jews, through which we would say, what do you
23:22
mean you became like a Jew? You are a Jew? Paul said,
23:26
Oh, now, let me tell what I mean. I mean when I'm
23:27
with Jewish people, I'm like a better Jew than any of them. Like
23:30
I amp up the Jewishness, like whatever makes them Jewish, I do it
23:34
more. I out jew all the Jewish people. Why, he said,
23:37
because I want to influence them. I want them to recognize, wow,
23:41
you're like a great Jewish person. I thought I was doing well, You're
23:44
doing better than me. And he says, because I want influence with these
23:48
people. I want to win the Jews. To those under the law,
23:51
I became like one under the law, though I myself I am not under
23:52
the law, talking about the Jewish law, so as to win those under
23:56
the law. Because some gentiles had become had sort of converted. They didn't
24:00
use the term convert, but it basically converted to Judaism. To those not
24:06
having the law like us gentiles, I became one. I became like one
24:10
not having the law, though I am not free from God's law, but
24:12
I am under Christ's law. Come back to that in a second. In
24:15
this top statement, here's what he's saying. When I'm with the Gentiles,
24:18
I eat like a gentile, I drink like a gentile, I dress like
24:22
a gentile, I walk like an Egyptian, talk like And then to wherever
24:23
I am, I can get along with anybody. I can become whatever I
24:29
need to become. Why well, because I have a north star, I
24:33
have a win that defines my life. I want everyone to know what God
24:36
has done in the world by sending Jesus. And then I love this this
24:40
phrase. Though I am free from I'm not free from God's law talking about
24:42
the Sinai code, but I am under Christ's law. This is a really
24:47
important distinction. We won't spend a lot of time on. But do you
24:49
know what Christ's law is? When the apostle Paul talks about christ law,
24:53
he's talking about the single command that Jesus gave on the night of his last
24:57
passover, when he said I'm gonna give a new command. Then here it
25:00
is. You don't need ten, you just need one. As I've loved
25:03
you, say, you're to love one another. That was Christ's single law.
25:07
Not the Ten Commandments, though one commandment, and Paul said, I
25:11
am under that command That's why he gave up violence as a means to an
25:18
end to further his cause. He said, I'm under Christ's law so as
25:22
to win those not having the law. Then he finishes up to the week.
25:27
I have became weak to win the week. I became all things to
25:30
all people. Why so that by all possible means, I mean, this
25:34
guy was focus, wasn't he by all possible means, which means I thought
25:40
it through. I organized my life. I ordered my life. I organized
25:45
my life, my time, my resources. I ordered and organized my life
25:51
so that by all possible means I might save some. His win was to
25:56
win people. But what comes next is for you and for me. What
26:03
comes next is for you, whether you're a Christ follower or not. And
26:06
what comes next is really for all of us. Because the apostle Paul knew
26:10
what we know intuitively. It is not enough to wish, it's not enough
26:15
to want, it's not enough to desire. And so he now dips into
26:21
this sports metaphor that the people in his context understood and that we understand to
26:25
some extent. He goes right into this after saying this is the win that
26:29
to win people, I'll do anything it takes to win people, and then
26:32
he goes right into this next topic. It looks like he changes the subject.
26:34
He says, do you not know? Would he asked these questions all
26:38
the time. Do you not know that in a race all the runners run,
26:41
but only one gets the prize, to which we're like, yes,
26:47
Paul, thank you. We know how a race works. Everybody lines up,
26:51
everybody runs, one person finishes first, and that person gets the prize.
26:55
So yes, So why are you saying that? And let me tell
26:59
you why saying it, and then I'll show you how he says it.
27:00
Here's the point he's about to make. This is so powerful. Imagine if
27:03
we live this way. He said, In an athletic competition, the competition
27:08
is obvious. In an athletic competition, the competition is obvious. In a
27:14
race, they are lined up right beside you. You always know how you're
27:18
doing in relationship to the competition. On the football field, they are lined
27:23
up right in front of you. You always know how you're doing against the
27:29
competition. And with a cheerleading squad, you know where you stand because they've
27:33
just performed, and now you have to perform. There's somebody ahead of you,
27:36
there's somebody behind you, but you know where you stand with the competition.
27:40
You can see your competition. But when it comes to winning in life,
27:45
when it comes to winning in your marriage, when it comes to winning
27:47
with your kids, when it comes to winning financially or dating or whatever,
27:51
it's hard to tell, isn't it. It's just not as obvious. Consequently,
27:55
we lack urgency. There's no scoreboard, there are no fans, there's
28:03
no clock. It's hard to tell how we're doing. So listen to what
28:07
he says to us. Next. He says, you know, I in
28:08
a race. You know who your competition is, and you know everybody's competing,
28:12
but only one person gets across the finish line. And the faster you're
28:15
the people around you go, the faster you go. And there's just so
28:18
much energy because so much is at stake, and you know exactly where you
28:22
are because you know who the competition is. You know what that's like.
28:23
You're all like, yeah, oh, we know what that's like. Then
28:26
he says to us, ready for this. This is so great. He
28:29
says, hey, run in such a way is to get the prize.
28:36
Implication, live your life with the same urgency, with the same focus,
28:44
with the same order that you would bring to a race or a competition,
28:48
to where there was a clock, where there were fans, where you knew
28:52
who the competition was, and you knew how you were doing against the competition.
28:56
Live in such a way that you win. Pay what price you have
29:00
to pay to make sure you're prepared to win right, Because in an athletic
29:04
competition, there's always a price to pay to win. Right, And in
29:07
the arenas of life that matter most to you. I don't even know you,
29:11
but we know this about each other, right, person on your left,
29:12
and you're right. In this true of us, in the areas that
29:15
matter most to win, there is a price to be paid. The same
29:22
is true in every single arena of life that matters to us. Everyone who
29:25
competes in the game, he says, he goes on everyone who competes in
29:29
the games. And he's talking about these games that took place right outside of
29:32
Corinth. It was a famous place that for over seven hundred years they had
29:34
sort of these miniature Olympic games. Everybody knew what he was talking about.
29:38
He said, everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. Why,
29:42
because they want to win. Everybody who wants to win knows there's a
29:48
sacrifice. Everybody who wants to win knows there has to be focused. Everybody
29:51
who wants to win knows you have to say no to some things in order
29:55
to say yes to prepare yourself to win. They do it, he said,
29:59
of these people that run these races and that box and fight. They
30:02
were very violent games, by the way, he said. The people who
30:04
compete, they do it to get a crown that will not last. And
30:08
what they were actually getting this is kind of interesting, is they got.
30:11
You may know this they got if you won a race, or you won
30:14
one of these boxing competitions or a chariot race, you actually got a crown
30:18
of leaves. Woo, laurel leaves. You got laurel leaves. You've heard
30:25
the phrase resting on your laurels. She's resting on her laurels. That means
30:27
they're kind of using their past accomplishments or sort of sitting back on their past
30:30
accomplishments. That this is where that phrase came from. You got a laurel
30:36
crown of leaves and what would happen. Well, it looked great for the
30:38
day and for a couple days and three days, but eventually it got brittle
30:42
and it would crack and it would just go away. And Paul says,
30:45
think think about the hard worker runner puts in. Think about the sacrifice a
30:51
boxer puts in. Think about all the money spent to train horses. Think
30:55
about all the effort that goes in to win a Laurel crown that's not even
31:00
gonna last. And then he speaks to those of you who are Jesus followers,
31:03
and he speaks to me as a Jesus follower. He says, come
31:07
on, think about the competition you're in. Think about what's at stake.
31:11
But we, he includes us, but we in terms of competing and winning
31:17
in life. He says, we do it to get a crown that will
31:19
last for ever. And therefore, he says, this is so powerful.
31:26
He says, look up here, he says, because of what's at stake,
31:30
Because I don't want to get to the end of my life and wonder
31:32
if I won. Because I don't want to get to the end of my
31:34
life, and wonder how did I do? He says, even though I
31:37
can't see necessarily my competition. They're not lined up beside me or in front
31:41
of me, or waiting in line behind me. I run as if I
31:45
can see them, he says. Therefore, I do not run like someone
31:49
running aimlessly. It is easy in our culture to run to parent, to
31:56
spend money today, and to do really relationships and finances and professional or professional
32:02
lives aimlessly. If you don't have a win, if you haven't defined the
32:07
win, you can spend an entire season or two of your life aimlessly.
32:10
Paul says, I'm not doing that because I know what I want, I
32:14
know what I'm about, and I'm going to do whatever it takes to get
32:16
there. He says. I do not run like someone running aimlessly. I
32:20
do not fight like a box or just beating the air. He says.
32:23
No, I strike a blow to my body and I make it my slave.
32:28
Why Paul, let's say, Well, of course I'm gonna do this
32:31
because I know what I'm about. I have defined, I've identified the win
32:36
for my life, and I'm going to order my life, my time,
32:38
and discipline myself to make sure at the end of the day, even though
32:42
I have to say no to me to get there. I want to get
32:45
there, and it's worth saying no to me in order to get there.
32:49
Isn't that true for you in the areas of life that matter most? I
32:52
know it is because many of you have already achieved extraordinary things. You already
32:57
know what it means to focus. You already know what it means to say
32:59
no. You to accomplish what you've already accomplished. But in the areas of
33:02
life that matter most, have you to find the win? In his case,
33:08
this is what he feared. I don't know what you fear. Here's
33:10
what he feared. He said, I have to do this so that after
33:15
I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.
33:21
So here's his bottom line. They don't want to talk about us for
33:23
a minute. His bottom line is simply this. I am going to prepare
33:28
and compete as if my competition was lined up beside me or standing in front
33:32
of me. I'm going to live my life with the same focus and the
33:36
same energy as if I could actually see my competition, because I don't want
33:40
to get to the end of my life and be disqualified because I wasn't prepared
33:45
to go the distance and I wasn't prepared to win. I think he would
33:50
say to us, what to some extent, we already know. You don't
33:54
win by wishing, you don't win, by hoping you don't even win,
34:00
by just praying you win, by preparing to win, you win. By
34:07
preparing to win. You win by saying no to you so that you can
34:15
win. But you'll never say no to you with the urgency. You must
34:19
say no to you until you have identified the win. So come on,
34:23
what's the win relationally, financially, academically, professionally, what's the win?
34:30
Are you preparing to win? Singles, let me just say something to you.
34:36
If you're single, or maybe even if you're single again, Hey,
34:39
if the win for you is marriage, then you can't date like most people
34:45
date. If you want a marriage that's unlike most marriages, then you can't
34:51
date like most people date. This is why every once in a while I
34:53
say that the singles and college students and our organization, I say, look,
34:58
you need to take this one year off challenge. You need to step
35:00
off the playing field for a year. You need to put yourself in the
35:02
penalty box for a year. You need to go to the locker room for
35:07
a year. You need to get out of this dating game for a year
35:09
so you can get your head cleared, so you can get your mind cleared,
35:12
your heart cleared, your concert's clear, so you can decide. Okay,
35:15
when I step back on that playing field with all that crazy competition,
35:20
what is the win for me? And the win isn't just a date and
35:22
the win is it just an experience? The win is bigger than that.
35:25
What is the win? Before I decide I'm gonna play, I'm gonna decide
35:30
what the win is. And I'm telling you when you take that challenge and
35:32
you take it seriously and you do the difficult work, and you decide,
35:36
I'm not just gonna date aimlessly. I'm not just gonna be swinging in my
35:39
hands or my hips in the air. Right, I'm gonna have a purpose.
35:43
I'm gonna have a goal for this. Right, It's thought I'd work
35:45
that in, Okay, because I have grander plans for my life in my
35:52
future and I don't want my history, my dating history, to just repeat
35:55
itself. So that's why I make that challenge. Why Because if you don't
35:59
know what the win is, you don't know what you're dating towards for parents.
36:01
Let me just tell you, Okay, on the other side of maybe
36:05
where some of you are, You're gonna have to say no to some things
36:08
to achieve your parenting goal once you decide what it is, once you know
36:12
what the win is. In fact, Sandra and I said this a thousand
36:14
times. Here's what we would say. No for now, but not forever.
36:17
No for now, but not forever. No for now, but not
36:21
forever. There are some things that we will do later that we are not
36:24
going to do now because of what we think the wind should be for our
36:28
family. No, they're not wrong, they're not bad. We're not telling
36:30
other families what to do or how to spend their time. But for this
36:34
season, because we want to win with our kids. No for now,
36:39
but not forever. And here's the thing, and you know this, you
36:45
will find it so much easier to say no to you when you know what
36:50
the win is. And until you know what the win is, you will
36:52
find no compelling reason to say no to you. There's just not the urgency.
36:59
Now I'm almost done. At the risk of being a little bit over
37:02
dramatic, Okay, you only get one season. You only get to be
37:09
in your twenties one time. You don't get to come back next fall and
37:14
do your twenties again. You only get to do your thirties one time.
37:19
You only get one first marriage, you only get to raise each of those
37:22
kids one time. And the clock is running, and you have to decide.
37:28
You have to decide what life is going to look like for you and
37:30
what you want to win to be. And if you don't decide, life
37:35
and culture and the people around you are going to decide for you. And
37:38
remember this, and you know this. Remember though, when you win,
37:44
when you win in the arenas of life that matter most, you're not the
37:46
only person that wins. The people closest to you win as well. And
37:50
when you lose, they lose as well. Now, if you're not a
37:58
Christian or not a Jesus follower, I hope this has been helpful, you
38:00
know. I hope this has been inspiring. I hope that you'll go home
38:02
and you know, come up with some wins and you can, because again,
38:06
this isn't a Christian thing. This is just a thing thing. We
38:08
just found a model or an example in the New Testament. But if you're
38:13
a Christian, if you're a Jesus follower like me. You're someone who said
38:16
I have decided to follow Jesus. I don't get it perfect. Sometimes it
38:20
kind of looks like this, but I'm I'm doing my best to follow Jesus.
38:22
This isn't this isn't just meant to be inspiring. This is this isn't
38:28
optional, because we have something in common with the apostle Paul, right,
38:32
he said, everyone who competes, everyone who competes into games, goes into
38:37
strict training. They do it for a crown that will not last. But
38:40
if Jesus was correct, and I think he was, I mean, remember
38:45
if somebody predicts their own death in resurrection and pulls it off, you just
38:47
go with whatever that person says. Okay, So if Jesus was correct,
38:52
if Jesus was correct, our lives and this is good news, this is
38:55
an invitation. If Jesus was correct, our lives are not bookended by a
39:00
birth certificate and a death certificate. There's more to this life. There's more
39:06
to life. If Paul was correct, and Paul lived his life as if
39:10
he believed there was life beyond this life, then there's so much mistake for
39:15
us. So to leverage Paul's words as we close, I just want to
39:19
say this to those of you who are Jesus followers, and I'm saying it
39:22
to myself as well. When it comes through the areas of life that matter
39:25
most, and you know what those are, don't run like somebody running aimlessly
39:31
anymore. Decide what is the wind. Don't fight like a boxer who's just
39:37
swing in their arms in the air. Decide what the wind is, and
39:42
order your life accordingly, and make your body your slave. And in doing
39:47
so, let your life, your parenting, your money, your profession,
39:53
your relationships, your dating, your marriage, all of it. Let your
39:57
life, let your light shine in such a way that people would catch a
40:01
glimpse of your Father in heaven. Because at the end of the day,
40:07
that's a win. At the end of the day, that kind of Christian
40:10
living changed the world once. But in the meantime for all of us,
40:21
what's the win, what's the win? What's the win? After all,
40:25
winning is better than not winning.