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Monday Mini: Will You Sign Our Yearbook? · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Danny and Samantha and welcome to Stephane
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Never told you production of I Heart Radio. So it
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: is the end of the school year here in the
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: US for a lot of people. Congrats to everyone he
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: has graduated, including my knees. Yes, she graduated college. So
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: proud of you, Gracie. I hear this, And you went
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: to a virtual graduation. Yes, I had it up and
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: I was trying to take a little screenshot and I
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: missed it because of students graduating, and I got the
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: dude behind her. So I'm like, I don't know who
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: this person is. You should find out. You should seek
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: him out and be like, I know, I swear I'm
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: not weird, but I happened. Well, it would be super
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: awkward because my knee is probably does know him, because
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: you know how that goes. But yes, I did as well.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: Let's go to a little dinner to congratulate her. She's
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: interviewing for jobs. But yes, congrats to all the graduates. Yes,
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  Speaker 1: So my question for you is do you remember picture
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: day from school and or how was the experience for
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  Speaker 1: you and do you have like a particularly bad picture
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  Speaker 1: that it came out of this So my senior pictures
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  Speaker 1: were pretty nice. I actually really liked my senior pictures,
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: so I remember getting them. I was like, oh, I
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  Speaker 1: look nice. Great, they're definitely more school pictures. Middle school
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: years were rough, rough. I definitely was in a lot
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  Speaker 1: of activities, so any of those made me really nervous.
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  Speaker 1: You never know. I was also, I think you're not
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  Speaker 1: talked about superlatives. I really regret the dress that I wore.
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  Speaker 1: I looked like a very religious eighties mom because it
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  Speaker 1: was like this weird cotton overall looking dress with like
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  Speaker 1: a plaid shirt, long sleeve shirt Underneathan and I think
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  Speaker 1: we were standing by cows. I don't remember. I don't
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  Speaker 1: know why, because I was the most dependable. That was
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  Speaker 1: my coperlatives, and yet that's what we looked like. Well,
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  Speaker 1: but next to a cow broadcasts depend it, that's a
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  Speaker 1: that's a huge regret. Next to a cow in my
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  Speaker 1: plaid sure, with my dark hunter green all the way
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  Speaker 1: to the ground dress, Wow, yeah, it wasn't cute. Well,
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  Speaker 1: I I kind of was similar in that I had
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  Speaker 1: a eccentric fashion taste, shall we say. But it also
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  Speaker 1: turns out I'm very slightly color blind, which I always suspected,
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: but so I would put colors together that really had
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  Speaker 1: no business being together. But I would get very nervous
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  Speaker 1: and excited on picture day growing up. My worst picture
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  Speaker 1: I ever took was seventh grade, and I'm still angry,
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  Speaker 1: but I guess I can't really blame the photographer, but
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  Speaker 1: I'm angry no one stopped me because I looked terrible
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  Speaker 1: and my hair it looked as like my bangs were
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  Speaker 1: visible nodded nos, and my hair was kind of like
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: sticking up in all like a rat's nest on top.
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  Speaker 1: And then I was wearing all purple, just different shades
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  Speaker 1: of purple. I feel like we need to get these
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  Speaker 1: pictures and post them up. I feel differently, let's show
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: them off. Yes, yes, it's it's a terrible picture. You know,
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  Speaker 1: maybe I'll look back at it and it won't be
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  Speaker 1: as bad, but you know, in that moment comes out
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  Speaker 1: and you see it and you're like, oh, that's what
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  Speaker 1: I'm hoping to. Like five years after I originally took it,
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh, this is so bad. This is
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  Speaker 1: so bad. It's been over twenty years now, it was
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: twenty one years now, and I'm like, I kind of
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  Speaker 1: want to look back. Is it as bad as I
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  Speaker 1: think it is? I think it is. I think mine
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  Speaker 1: is too, But at least I was a young age,
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  Speaker 1: so it'll feel kind of like, oh, I'm gonna go
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  Speaker 1: back and look at them now. Yes, we'll report back
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  Speaker 1: on that. Listeners. And this has been on my mind
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  Speaker 1: because recently a Florida high school made headlines across the
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  Speaker 1: country when at least eighty photos female students were edited
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  Speaker 1: to remove any hand of cleavage and even clavical. Parents
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  Speaker 1: and students spoke out about this, saying that the editing
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  Speaker 1: sexualized girls and the whole thing was pretty gross. In
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  Speaker 1: case you're wondering, zero photos of male students were altered.
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  Speaker 1: There were pictures including dues on the swim team and spudos.
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  Speaker 1: None of the girls consented to the altering. Many said
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  Speaker 1: they were humiliated by the whole thing, and most I
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  Speaker 1: think all of them found out when they got the yearbook. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: so the un book coordinator ordered the edits, claiming that
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  Speaker 1: the clothing did not adhere to the dress code, which
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  Speaker 1: is weird. By the way, some of them editors are
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  Speaker 1: really bad and the un book cost one dollars. They're
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  Speaker 1: so freaking expensive. They're prett expensive of what I got them,
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  Speaker 1: but I don't think it was one dollars at that point.
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  Speaker 1: And this part conversation on the confusing message and double
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  Speaker 1: standard broadcast to girls and young women, which is a
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  Speaker 1: constant battle still that to be feminine you need to
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  Speaker 1: be sexual and traditionally physically desirable. But when you do so,
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  Speaker 1: you will be judged and punished obviously, and they made
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  Speaker 1: fun of and then being told you're wrong. Um, but
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  Speaker 1: there is a morality associated with modesty that these girls
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  Speaker 1: has something to be ashamed of. Again, it wasn't even
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  Speaker 1: that big of a deal when you would take the pictures.
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  Speaker 1: And at the same time, it demonstrates society's unhealthy focused
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  Speaker 1: on women's bodies and sexuality and how we view these
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  Speaker 1: bodies as part of the institution, something to be controlled,
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  Speaker 1: which is so annoying. Again, Yeah, how does the coordinator
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  Speaker 1: have the authority to do this? When you look at
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  Speaker 1: something like a dress code, they are far more focused
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  Speaker 1: on policing women's and girls bodies compared to men and boys,
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  Speaker 1: and if it is men and boys, is typically racist.
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  Speaker 1: So yeah, definitely definitely something to think about. Yes, in
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  Speaker 1: response to this whole thing, the district is now considering
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  Speaker 1: changes to a stress code. At this particular school, there
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  Speaker 1: were three bullet points for male dress code. The girl's
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  Speaker 1: dress code also had three, but with a bunch of
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  Speaker 1: like sub bullet points and caveats and clear fires under each,
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  Speaker 1: including a role. Shirts quote must be modest and not
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  Speaker 1: revealing or distracting. Similar language is not present in the
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  Speaker 1: boys dress code, once again implying that boys can't control
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  Speaker 1: their sexual impulses, so the responsibility for doing so is
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  Speaker 1: on girls. And dress codes are not inherently bad when
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  Speaker 1: they target one group over the other and include sexualizing
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  Speaker 1: language and one and not the other, than that is
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  Speaker 1: a problem. Right, and these codes often penalized girls of
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  Speaker 1: color even more harshly, and we know those studies have
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  Speaker 1: found that adults view black girls as less innocent and
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  Speaker 1: more knowledgeable about sex when compared to white girls. Other
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  Speaker 1: studies show that this hyper focus on girls and dress
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  Speaker 1: codes has a negative impact on self esteem and body
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  Speaker 1: image on top of all the other negative messaging around
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  Speaker 1: their own bodies. Girls are absorbing during adolescence. Even finding
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  Speaker 1: clothing that isn't sexualized can be difficult, especially for people
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  Speaker 1: with bigger breast. Right, this is by no means the
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  Speaker 1: first time that this has happened. Even a few months
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  Speaker 1: ago at this school, there was a dress code crackdown
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  Speaker 1: and dident when a girl wearing a zipped up jacket
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  Speaker 1: over a sports braul was called out and given a
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  Speaker 1: white shirt to wear. She and other girls were told
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  Speaker 1: to unzip their jackets to reveal tank tops or sports bras. Again,
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  Speaker 1: this is Florida is really hot. The next day some
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  Speaker 1: students protested, including boys who wore white dresses and skirts.
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  Speaker 1: It feels like every few years we get a headline
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  Speaker 1: like this of a school policing girl's bodies. I think
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  Speaker 1: it's every year now. Yeah, editing yearbooks, which reignites the
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  Speaker 1: argument over dress codes. And it's not limited to year books.
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  Speaker 1: I remember the big hubbub when Emma Watson's drest were
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: enlarged on the Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix
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  Speaker 1: poster and she was fifteen. And you gotta ask yourself
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  Speaker 1: why I do that? And I know some actors have
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  Speaker 1: clauses in their contracts to make them look sinners stuff
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  Speaker 1: like that, but this was not that. This was not
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  Speaker 1: that right, right well, I mean, even with them having
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  Speaker 1: online school, they still had dress codes. Yeah, it's just
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  Speaker 1: what like, as long as is not super offensive, like
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  Speaker 1: you wear clothes please? Yes, why wear? I mean I
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  Speaker 1: followed that rule. But yeah, it seems like there's just
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  Speaker 1: a lot of control and an ability to admit. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: what they like, you're calling yourself out when you do
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  Speaker 1: this a and you're not protecting anyone except for yourself
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  Speaker 1: in the essence that you're not protecting yourself because again
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  Speaker 1: you're calling yourself out, right, but I know that I
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  Speaker 1: just read that Kate Winslett had to go back and
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  Speaker 1: tell them not to edit out her Bulgi dump tummy
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  Speaker 1: that it was in a sex scene and or the wrinkle.
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  Speaker 1: She's like, no, this is part of my character and
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  Speaker 1: just being able to thrive as a forty five year
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  Speaker 1: old and live life and enjoy it and not have
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  Speaker 1: to be this perfectionist that the standards are so unrealistic
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  Speaker 1: for anyone anyway, but agents should not be seen as
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  Speaker 1: this way. But kind of that same level of what
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  Speaker 1: are you doing enjoy myself in reality? Right? Yeah? Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: My school's just code was pretty stripped and they would
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  Speaker 1: make you like stand up in the middle of class,
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  Speaker 1: and especially for girls, it was you know, your fingertip
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  Speaker 1: rule whatever, like short skirt had to be past your
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  Speaker 1: fingertips and you couldn't show your shoulders Heavens no and
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  Speaker 1: no bra strap no. And it does make you feel
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  Speaker 1: very insecure about your body to be like called out
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  Speaker 1: like that and feel like are people looking at me
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  Speaker 1: this way? Right? I was just trying to wear shorts
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  Speaker 1: something for them to call you out, pull you up
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  Speaker 1: to the front of class to do this. Everybody's watching.
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  Speaker 1: You're like, what's what's happening? And then if you can't
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  Speaker 1: wear or something, they shame you with a larger piece
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  Speaker 1: of clothing that looks like you know, You're like, what,
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  Speaker 1: this doesn't even make sense? Yeah, are they at my school?
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  Speaker 1: They call your parents? So you had it did feel
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  Speaker 1: very like a public shaming it. It was, Yeah, so
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: is a lot more. Obviously we could get into here,
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  Speaker 1: but that's that's what we've got to say about this
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: for this Monday Mini. If you have any topic ideas
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: that you would like us to cover, you can email us.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: Our email is Stuff Media mom Stuff at ihart mea
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: dot com. You can find us on Twitter at mom
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: Stuff Podcast or an Instagram at Stuff I've Never told
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: you I thinks it's always to our super producer Christina,
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: thank you and thanks to you for listening stuff I
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: never told your production to iHeart Radio. For more podcast
• 10:22
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• 10:24
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