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Psychic Vampires · Red Onion Randy - Life in a Supermax Prison

• 0:12
  Hello, this is a prepaid call from and make it the Virginia Department of
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  Corrections. Read Onion State Prison to accept this call Press zero. This is
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  Randall vamb I'm currently serving one thousand, two hundred and fourteen years in Wallas
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  Ridge State Prison for capital murder in Big Stone Gap, Virginia. This is
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  my podcast Read On Your Randy, and I hope you enjoyed listening to me
• 0:39
  today. Today I'm going to talk about something that is a constant presence in
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  prison. No matter what prison you're at, no matter what state you're at,
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  no matter what country you're at. This is something that every single prisoner
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  has to deal with, psychic powers. I got into a conversation yesterday with
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  a guy and uh, we was talking and we was talking about having to
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  deal with this, and it's something that everyone has to deal with. It
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  doesn't matter whether you're in prison, doesn't matter whether you're you're on the street.
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  You're always going to deal with somebody. You're always going to be around
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  somebody who's just so negative that they suck the life right out of you.
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  All they do is complain. All they do is cry, All they do
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  is wind. All they do is bitch. That's all they do. There's
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  no positivity in them, they have no broader outlook. They just they just
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  focus on what makes them miserable. And I am so so incredibly tired of
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  being around these people. I do everything I can to focus on a positive
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  I do everything I can to be positive, and yet no matter how many
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  times you tell them, hey, look mine, I'm not trying to talk
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  about this money if you've already discussed the same issue with me one hundred times.
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  And I mean that literally, I'm thinking, Oh, I have a
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  dude in here that I'm cool with, and he always complains to me about
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  his wife, and like, I'm tired of hearing it. Dude, either
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  do something about it or leave her. They stop talking to me about this.
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  If you're not going to take my advice, stop talking to me about
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  it, like they want to complain about the hot water. Yeah, I
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  know it sucks that you got to take a cold shower. Guess what,
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  man, I'm taking a cold shower to write it up, put it on
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  paperwork, and stop bending my near over this. And it just it drags
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  you down. When you're around these people like you just you feel you feel
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  worse than you should feel you have guys in here. You got this one
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  guy. All he does every single time he comes out to sell, he
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  pulls one person aside and he starts talking about Yeah, that mother right there,
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  and he's snitching. He telling he doing this, he doing that,
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  he'd just be making stuff up. If everybody in the pond was snitching the
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  way this dude says they're snitching, we would never come out to sell because
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  we would be getting shook down five times a damn day. That's all this
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  dude does. Like, it's all he does is talking trash us. All
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  this dude does is just bitch. He complain and whine. I'm just so
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  tired of being around it. Like, i mean, I know, I'm
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  kind of complaining my damn self right now. I'm sorry for that. It's
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  just, you know, that level of frustration, and it just it builds
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  and it builds and it builds and it builds. And the thing is,
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  you have to be firm with these people. When you get around a person
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  like this, the thing is you want to help them. You want to
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  kind of help them to feel good about themselves. You want to kind of
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  help uplift them a little bit. But I think that's kind of instinctive when
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  somebody comes to us with their problems. And I'm not talking about if it
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  happens every now and then. I'm talking about the people that just over and
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  over and over and over and over again. You don't want to be rude
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  to a person, so but at the same time, like you get tired
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  of hearing it, So, how do you deal with this person? How
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  do you be firm with this person and kind of set boundaries. And that's
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  something I'm dealing with in here because I'm the only positive person in this part.
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  Literally, I'm the only positive person in this part. Everybody else is
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  just so damn negative. You know, you have a couple of guys that
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  are starting to try to be positive. I don't know whether that's from my
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  influence or somebody else's influence in their life somewhere else, or or what it.
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  Look. I try to help these guys. I try to be positive,
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  But at what point do I just have to sit up and say,
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  you know what, man, shut up, I'm tired of hearing your mouth.
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  Don't ever speak to me again. Carry your ass somewhere else. And
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  I have a hard problem with doing that because I don't ever want to give
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  up on someone. I don't want to give up on It hurts me to
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  have to give up on someone because what happens is someday, man, somebody
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  is trying to help me, and maybe I don't pick it up fast enough,
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  maybe I don't learn from them fast enough, and they give up on
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  me, they cut me out of their life. That's a hard thing.
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  I'm dealing with a friend on the street. I'm not going to say no
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  names or anything. He's an alcoholic, he's done a couple of stretches in
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  jail because of his alcoholism. And i'd actually i'd cut him off. I
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  deleted his phone number, I raised his name from the Kiosk several months ago,
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  and he just raached back out to me recently, apologizing everything. And
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  I don't know. I mean, like, I want to help this guy
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  because I really genuinely like this guy. I believe he's a genuinely good guy.
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  Look, it hurts me to see him doing this, doing this to
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  his own life, Like if he's out there on the streets, if he's
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  a free man. And I wrote him an email and I told him this,
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  if you're out there, basically you've given up on yourself. You don't
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  even care any more, Like you're not even fighting anymore to overcome your problems.
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  And so why should I fight? Why should I let this stuff in
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  here slide? That I let slide? Because if I came out to sell
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  and I just put my hands on four or five assholes in here that really
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  really really deserve it and really really need it, that would make my life
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  a whole lot easier. I'm be honest with you. If I could whoop
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  a couple of these guys' asses in here, I feel so much better about
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  myself. I will not do that. I'm not going to do that,
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  but at the end of the day, I cannot deny the truth. It
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  would make me feel a whole lot better about myself, especially now that Virginia
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  no longer has long term solitary confinements so they can't lock me up for years
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  on end. The most I'll do is ten to twenty days and then I'm
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  right back on the yard. I mean, man, that makes me feel
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  real great. And the thing is, this is the only part they can
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  bring me back to you, because she cannot put me in the cell with
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  someone they already know. You cannot do that so and I told him this,
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  it would make my life so much easier. But I'm in here fighting.
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  I'm in here doing everything I can to turn my life around. I'm
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  in here doing everything I can to be a positive influence in other people's lives,
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  to try to let my life be an example. And yet you're just
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  pissing your life. Well, you have all of this, all of this
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  access. You're on the streets, man, you have a good job.
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  The dude is making twenty some dollars an hour at the warehouse. And by
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  you just going out there and not fighting for yourself, you're just giving up.
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  You're quitting. That makes me want to quit, like you're sucking the
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  life out of me. I genuinely like this dude. I genuinely respect this
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  dude. Me and him die of lot in common. He's a cool ass
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  guy, he really is. I understand like he's been through some terrible things.
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  The man has been hurt, incredibly hurt. I get that. You
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  put the bottle down, And I told him, you will never this goes
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  for anybody, not just him. You will never find an answer in the
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  bottom of a bottle. I'm gonna repeat myself. You will never ever find
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  the answer in the bottom of a bottle. You'll never find that answer.
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  And drugs, You're never ever going to find that answer. Running from your
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  problems. If you spend all day playing video games, hiding from your problems,
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  if you spend all day watching television, hiding from your problems, reading
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  books, hiding from your problem, it doesn't matter what you're doing, people,
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  If you hide from your problems, you are never going to overcome your
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  problems. You have to face who you are. You have to face what
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  you are. You have to face what was done to you. You cannot
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  run. You have to deal with it. You have to fight and fight
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  and fight and fight to overcome. Don't be a psychic van empire. Don't
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  let the psychic van empires ruin your life. Do what you can to help
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  them, but there has to come a point where you have to walk away
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  from them. Now, I'm going to let this guy back in my life.
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  I don't want to give up on it. I want him to find
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  their answers. I'm trying to do something positive. I'm trying to I'm trying
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  to change my life even more than I've already done it, and yet they
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  don't care. They don't care about you. That's the thing that I've realized
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  about psychic vampires. They just want you to be as sad and as miserable
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  as they are because that makes them. That gives them and gives them an
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  excuse, because if they can keep you from building your life up, if
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  they can keep you from doing something good with your life, if they can
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  keep you from becoming something better than you currently are, that gives them the
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  excuse to stay right where they are. That gives them the excuse to be
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  lazy. So they can sit there and look around and say, well,
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  ain't nobody else changing their life? Nobody else is doing something with their life.
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  Because this is the thing about a psychic vampire. If they want somebody
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  else to come and fix their life, they want somebody else to come and
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  make their life better. Let me tell you something, people, nobody is
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  gonna come and make your life better. Nobody is going to fix your life
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  for you. Nobody is capable of fixing your life for you. The best
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  they can do is be an inspiration. The best they can do is give
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  you some adviience. They can tell you, hey, this is how I
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  did it, this is how I overcame. All you can do is deal
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  with your own problems. Try to be there for people, Try to be
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  a light, try to be in inspiration, try to give them some advice,
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  try to help them if you can by all means. But there comes
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  a point where you just simply have to tell them, Look, man,
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  enough is enough. Either fix your problems, start working on. If you
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  show me that you're genuinely gonna work, that you're genuinely trying to change,
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  that you're gonna put effort in. Yeah, I know you're gonna fail.
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  Yeah, I know you're gonna fall down. Yeah, I know you're gonna
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  struggle. That's fine. I'm okay with it. As long as you're actually
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  trying to overcome, as long as you're actually trying to do something, Okay,
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  I'll be here beside you. I want to help you. I'm wanna
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  stick with you. But if you're not, that's it. That's it for
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  me, because you're not gonna drag me down with you. I know who
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  I am. I know exactly what I am, and I know more importantly,
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  what I know longer want of me. I know the bad things about
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  me. I know how weak I am, I know what my issues are.
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  I know what triggers me. I know how violent I am if I
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  let go. I know what would happen if I stop fighting those things,
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  those problems, they don't never leave you. And that's what people don't understand.
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  If you have anger issues, you're always going to have anger issues.
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  You're never ever ever going to get rid of your anger issues. The only
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  thing is you will learn how to deal with them. You will learn how
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  to hold yourself in check, you will learn how to control them. The
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  same thing with alcoholism. Wants an alcoholic always an alcoholic who wants a drug
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  user always a drug using you. All your addictions never leave you, whether
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  it's born, whether it's it's whatever it is. Your addictions will never ever
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  leave you. Just learn how to say no to them, You learn how
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  to control them and overcome them so they no longer rule your life, but
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  they will stay with you until you are dead. That's why you constantly have
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  to fight. That's why you constantly have to say I can do this,
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  I can overcome this. I don't have to be this person anymore. I
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  don't have you have one minute remaining. That's why you constantly have to overcome
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  I say I don't have to do these things. I don't have to be
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  these things. I can do something with my life. I can be positive.
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  I don't have to be a psychic vampire. Unfortunately, that's all the
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  time I have for today. I really hope that you pay attention to this
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  episode. If you're a negative person, please listen to this episode over and
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  over and over again and start to make the changes you need to make and
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  stop looking elsewhere for a way to overcome. You're not gonna fix your life
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  in the bottom of a bottle. You're gonna find it and fix it within
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  yourself. Don't forget to check out my website, red onion Randy dot com.
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  I'm also on Twitter at red onion Randy, and I have a toll
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  free phone number one eight eight eight five two four one nine three two in
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  the US and put a plus and for all international calls. Thank you for
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  using the GTL