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Do narcissists have a grand plan from the beginning? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on beautiful people?
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  I am Lee Hammock, the diagnosed simple word narcissist known as
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  mental illness and welcome to another episode of the
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  Narcissist Code. Today's episode we're going to
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  be talking about. Do narcissists have a grand plan
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  from the beginning? Is it all a scheme from the word
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  go from the first I see you, I like you.
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  If y'all are new here, I use my platform on social media to
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  raise the word is for NPD. Get more people into therapy and
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  validate the victims and survivors of said disorder.
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  Said toxic people said toxic traits.
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  But yeah yeah. Before we hop into today's
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  episode, y'all make sure if you haven't already, to check out my
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  self love Journal on Amazon is available on Amazon.com.
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  Lee Hammock I love me a Self love Journal to help you rebuild
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  that self love and identity after a toxic relationship.
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  But yeah, y'all is it all a scheme from the very beginning?
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  I know a lot of people are going to differ in this, so let me
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  start off by saying this. This is just my perspective,
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  this perspective of a diagnosed narcissist.
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  This is just my, my perspective on is it a grand scheme from the
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  beginning when you're in a relationship with a narcissistic
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  person? So could it be.
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  Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely.
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  Could be a grand scheme from the beginning.
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  That's how the mind of a lot of narcissistic people works right
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  there. Yeah, it could be that they like
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  if they're super disconnected emotionally from you, it could
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  absolutely be a grand scheme. From the from the word go, from
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  like I love you from I miss you. The the very first relationship,
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  the very first piece of it could be a scheme from the beginning
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  to manipulate you to take your resources to get whatever they
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  are looking to get from you. It could be that way right
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  there. Y'all, but when you do a lot of
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  times, y'all being realistic, it might not be a scheme.
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  I think that some narcissistic people are here, some of the
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  others that are lower on the the lower on the spectrum or
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  whatever, not the psychopathic, sociopathic ones.
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  They actually scheme. They plan to get you to fall for
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  them because they actually think that they like you.
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  Some of them actually do like you at the beginning.
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  Y'all. So I don't think so many, so
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  many people ask me was it real in the beginning?
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  I think the realest part of a talk of a relationship with a
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  narcissist is the beginning. And I know it's crazy to say
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  because in the beginning, most times, a lot of the time that
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  narcissistic person isn't being their true selves, You know what
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  I mean? The narcissistic person that
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  you're dealing with isn't being who they really are.
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  They are not being their authentic true self.
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  So I know people was like, so how can it be truly if it's how
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  can it be true from the beginning if they are not being
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  their authentic selves? Explain that one, buddy.
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  Explain that one bucko. You see what I'm saying?
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  But that's that's how a lot of people's minds work right there.
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  Y'all. It's just like so many people
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  like so. So for me, in my relationships,
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  yeah, when I see somebody that I like that I think I want to be
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  with in my mind also. Also y'all let me back for you.
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  I mean what we want is it depends on where that person is
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  in life. If that person has been single
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  for a while and is looking to fall for somebody, then like I
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  said, a lot of times it's not a grand scheme to manipulate you
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  and steal from you and take from you and hurt you and harm you.
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  I don't think it's a scheme from that.
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  But sometimes y'all if they are just getting out of a
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  relationship. Y'all if you are the new supply,
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  if you are the rebound person for this narcissistic person, it
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  could be a grand plan from the beginning to use you to hurt
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  somebody else. You might very well be the new
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  supply in this situation right here.
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  You know what I'm saying? You might be the new supply
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  here. It's just like you might be the
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  person that I'm using to hurt my ex with.
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  And sometimes I do fall for you and we end up being together for
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  a long time. But initially, the bottom lower,
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  the foundation of our relationship was built on me
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  trying to get back at my ex. The foundation of our
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  relationship was built on me trying to hurt somebody else.
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  You mean that's the foundational element of this relationship
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  that a lot of people don't talk about.
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  Sometimes these relationships are built on pain.
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  Not your pain, but the pain of somebody else, the intent to
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  inflict pain on someone else. So in that case, right there,
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  y'all. It could be a grand scheme, a
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  grand plan from the beginning, but it's a grand plan to hurt
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  somebody else. Not to necessarily to
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  necessarily hurt you, but to hurt somebody else.
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  Do you end up getting hurt? A lot of times, yes.
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  But was that the plan for the beginning?
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  Like, I'm going to hurt this person I meet right here because
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  in the process I'm going to hurt my ex.
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  I don't think it's like that a lot of times.
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  Y'all. But again, could I be wrong?
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  Absolutely, yes. But I said, but this is just my
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  perspective on the right there. I know people, some people can
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  agree, can disagree. You know what I mean?
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  But sometimes y'all in the beginning of the relationship,
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  they might, like I said, that's if they're if they are on the
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  rebound, if they, if you are the new supply right after another
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  one of their relationships ending.
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  Yeah, a lot of times y'all is not going to be genuine.
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  It's not going to be genuine. It's not going to be authentic.
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  It's going to be toxic as hell from the beginning.
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  They're going to lie to you, They're going to manipulate you.
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  They're going to do a lot of different stuff to you, You know
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  what I mean? But that's the space that a lot
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  of people fall into. So this is what you had to do
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  with them. Now, y'all this is the space
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  that some people have to deal with.
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  You have to deal with this toxicity.
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  You have to deal with this toxic, narcissistic person.
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  Like if that person, if that narcissist that you're dealing
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  with, that toxic person that you're dealing with, right.
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  If they are looking to be with somebody and they meet you and
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  they actually like you, I don't think the grand plan is is come
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  from a place of malicious intent.
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  I don't think it comes from a place of them being evil and out
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  to try to hurt you. Can it be true?
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  Can some of them do that? Yes, absolutely.
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  This is not speaking about all narcissistic people.
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  This is talking about a lot of them, though.
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  You know that some of the plan is just like that.
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  I like this person, but I don't think that they can like me for
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  me. I really like you, but I don't
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  think it's possible for you to like me, for me.
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  So I need to become someone else.
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  I need to be somebody else to get you to fall for me.
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  So I like you so much that I go above and beyond for you.
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  I like and care about you so much that I want to do more for
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  you. I like and think about you so
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  much that I have that I need to make you happy.
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  I need to be able to make you happy.
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  I like you this much. You see what I'm saying?
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  This is the dot. This is the dot.
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  This is the dynamic, This is the mindset.
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  I don't think it's a grand plan to hurt you from the beginning
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  all the time. Sometimes yes.
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  But a lot of times the grand plan comes from them actually
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  liking you and wanting to be with you and wanting to care
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  about you wanting to do this, wanting to do that.
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  Sometimes that's where the grand plan stems from, right there in
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  that space, you know? So they're always so.
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  I know a lot of people, just like there's a lot of channels
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  out here that just tell you it was all fake from the beginning.
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  I don't know. Like I said, y'all, does that
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  help some people heal? To think that it was all fake
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  from the beginning, Yeah, they helped some people heal.
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  But other people on the same line?
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  That hurts them to think that they wasted 43 years of their
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  life with somebody who didn't care about them, who was faking
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  the whole time That might destroy somebody from the inside
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  out. I really feel like it's
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  situationally dependent. I don't think it's a plan from
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  the beginning to hurt you, to destroy you, to manipulate you
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  and to just take everything from you.
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  Do some, do that, yes. But I don't.
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  For me personally, in my own personal life, when the people
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  that I liked, I liked them. I wanted them to like me.
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  So I went above and beyond to get that person to like me.
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  Yeah, I might have been became somebody else in the beginning
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  to get them to fall for me. I might have just went outside
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  my normal, the normal parameters of who I am to get that person
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  to like me. I might have went out.
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  I might have went above and beyond to like quote UN quote
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  trick somebody or whatever. But I like that person.
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  Is it bad? Is it bad?
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  Is it building it on bad foundation to start off with not
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  being my authentic self? Yes, absolutely.
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  But in my mind, I like you so much.
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  I want you to like me. So yeah, could we have similar
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  interests? Yes, we can have similar
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  interests. We can have similar likes and
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  dislikes from the very beginning.
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  It's not always mirroring. Sometimes we might actually like
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  the same thing. Like me personally, me and my
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  wife were like we had we liked a lot of the same movies we like.
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  We one of our the things that connected us in the beginning
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  where we like like 1 liners from movies.
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  You see what I'm saying? Like we watching Pineapple
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  Express and not Pineapple Express, Little Pineapple
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  Express. One of the movies I I made a
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  comment one time right? I was just like I thought, I
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  thought what is it? I thought hurricane season was
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  over and she was like, you like Pineapple Express.
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  I'm like, yeah, that's my movie. Then we connected on that right
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  there. And then she said something
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  about, come on, man, we're a unit.
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  I said I was like, we got, we have to be a unit.
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  And she was like, suck my unit. That came from Tropic Thunder.
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  So we connected on Tropic Thunder.
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  You see what I'm saying? It just in that space right
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  there. There's things that we actually
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  did like and didn't. There's things that we both
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  actually had in common, but there's things that we didn't
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  have in common that I might have picked up from her that I knew
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  that she liked. I liked her.
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  Sergeant, I want you to like me. So let me say I like this stuff
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  right here, even though I might not really like it.
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  You know what I mean? Even though I might not really
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  actually want to do this right here, let me tell you that I
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  like that I might want to do this right here.
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  You mean, let me show you that this is part of who I am?
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  This is part of what I like to do.
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  You see, You see. You see what I'm saying, though?
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  You get into that space, you fall into that situation, you
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  get into these dynamics a lot right there.
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  And that's what happens. Y'all, that's what happens.
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  A lot of times toxic, narcissistic people become who
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  they need to be. They just add on a few things
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  from you to get me to get you to fall for them because they like
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  you. I'm not making excuses, y'all,
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  but I don't think it's an insidious plan from the
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  beginning, all the time. That's how I think some people
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  will come over here. You y'all are.
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  You are, Yeah. This is the crazy thing about
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  this channel. In all my videos that I post,
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  you are absolutely allowed to disagree with me on her.
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  I promise you. I don't take offense and people
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  disagree with me. I promise you, I don't.
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  It's when people get disrespectful like you leave you
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  a line cohorted narcissistic bastard.
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  That's when I'm just like you were wrong.
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  Like you could have just said late.
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  I don't think this is true. Here's why and provided some
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  context. And I'm like, OK, yeah, cool.
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  I understand where you're coming from.
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  You know, but like leave you line bastard.
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  Of course you don't think it's malicious from the beginning you
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  line narcissistic BBB just cussing me out.
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  I'm like, what do you what? You could have just said it in a
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  respectful way. You chose disrespect and
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  sometimes I'm going to choose disrespect Back is how it goes
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  though. Y'all.
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  I don't think it's always a evil plan from the beginning.
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  Sometimes it is, but sometimes that plan is to get you to fall
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  for them, you know, because they actually like you.
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  But then the crazy thing happens is I have a video, the video I
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  posted yesterday, when you they punish you for loving you.
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  The video podcast that I did yesterday.
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  Go back and watch that one because they kind of ties into
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  this one. Because once I become my true
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  self, then I don't think you Like I said, once I take the
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  mask off, so to speak, and show you who I really AM, and then
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  you tell me you want the old version of me back that causes a
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  lot of turmoil in a narcissistic person's mind.
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  Y'all so they don't think they're worthy of your love.
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  They want you to, they want you to fall for them.
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  But a lot of times they don't think they're worthy of it.
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