Latest / The Steve & Jeff Show / S3 E21 - Coach Mic Dika

Transcript

S3 E21 - Coach Mic Dika · The Steve & Jeff Show

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Stephen Jeff Show, the first comedy podcast in the history of the world.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_01: Assuming the world began when I started talking.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_01: Be sure and follow or subscribe to the Stephen Jeff Show wherever you listen to podcasts.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: Write us a review while you're there too.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_01: And now, here's Stephen Jeff.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_01: Well, hey, thanks, Johnny.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: And boy, I tell ya, it's great to be back in the studio.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_01: I'm feeling great tonight.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_01: I really started this new diet that's healthy eating so that I can make it to age 175 and collect social security, you know, like all those other 175-year-olds.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, how's it going, Jeff?
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: How are you doing?
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: I'm doing fine.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's a good gig, right?
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: You can just get money.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: And are you living longer because you get the free money?
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: Or well, yeah, you know, are you getting rewarded for living longer?
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know exactly.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: Oh no, no.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: If you can collect that free money, you could live to 200, right?
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's all about incentivizing people.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, there you go.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: So, anyways, I'm doing good.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's nice that we finally have decent weather, although you know it seems like I haven't talked to you for a while because last week it was like winter, yeah, and now it's like summer.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, it just feels like everything's changed.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: They say that about the weather in Omaha, too.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_01: Don't like the weather, wait a minute, it'll change.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: I thought that was a Chicago thing.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: I cannot tell you how many times I've heard that.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: You sure it was Omaha?
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: Like a lot of great Chicago things.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: I think it started in Peoria, Illinois.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but Peoria was a little different.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: It was like if you don't like your neighbors, just wait a minute and they'll move.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that could be.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: My brother, you know, who lives in Florida, they have this saying in Florida, which is if you don't like the weather, just wait till a Jewish guy moves in with his face laser, yeah.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: He'll change the weather for you.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: So it could be whatever.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: A variation on the same thing.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: You know, that may be where it started, although I know in Texas they have the saying you know, if you don't like your liberal neighbors, just make it impossible for them to vote.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: Same thing.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: And then they'll move, probably.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I've heard of that one.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: Speaking of Texas, I don't know if you saw this.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: Did you see about that big wrestling match that they had?
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: I think it was in Dallas between Russia and the U.S.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_01: No, you know, I I haven't really followed too much lately.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_01: I was kind of distracted.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I got my I got my 401k statement, and you know, at first I I thought I was reading it upside down, because it kind of is, but for a lot of the weekend, I was really worried that if our king keeps up with these tariffs to countries that you know that have been really, really mean to us.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, if he keeps up with those tariffs, you know, my retirement money might all be gone.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: But then I heard the Social Security was going bankrupt, so that took my mind off the 401k, right?
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: It's kind of like that, yeah.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's kind of like if you have a backache and you get kicked in the crotch, who cares about the backache, right?
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: That's why we have a great king in this country to help us focus on shiny objects like how horrible Canada is and trans female boxers using fentanyl in North Dakota.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, and there are a lot of them, let me tell you.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: Otherwise, I'd be driven to drink and you know, well, it's a short drive.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: That's really true.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not sure exactly what's going on, but but then again, I'm not a king.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: You know, if I was a king, I'd kind of be able to relate to it.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: But I really don't know exactly what they're doing.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: But, anyways, so yeah, there was this wrestling match.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: Should I give you a little bit of a Yeah, yeah.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: I'd love to hear, you know, I missed I miss the news, you know, it was all it was all either wrestling or international wrestling.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it was all yeah, but I go ahead.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: I guess there's this wrestler, some guy.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: And through high school, that's generally a critical part of any wrestling match, is a wrestling.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's true.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's true.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and and through high school, you know, he was like the best wrestler in the state of Texas, you know, undefeated.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: And then he went to college and he won the championships, the NCAA championship.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: So he was really amazing.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, he's kind of like our king, except you know, he he didn't have bone spurs, but uh see that's the very bone spurs.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_01: Our king would have been that great wrestler.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: So basically he was like the symbol, you know, like Captain America.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: That that's who he became.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: And that was before we started picking on Canada.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: So well, right was when we really needed somebody to show strength.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: Now we just show our strength by you know kicking the ass of countries that didn't do anything to us.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, coming over Greenland.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, you know, yeah, exactly.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: One way or the other, right?
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_01: One way or the other.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, anyways, a couple months ago, at the same time that this guy was being really successful, there was this Russian wrestler that basically was duplicating the same thing in Russia.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, and this wrestler's name was Johnny at the American guy.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, of course.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: I probably know him.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure you do.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: And this and this wrestler in Russia, his name is Yanni, which is like Russian for Johnny.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: So boy, they copy everything, don't they?
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: They do, they do.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: And so it was really cool because at the same time, wasn't it kind of like one of those Rocky movies kind of scenarios where at the same time the American wrestler was getting famous, the Russian wrestler was getting famous, and you knew that at some point they were going to come together and have this big wrestling match, which actually took place last weekend.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, that's just like Rocky IV, or maybe it was Rocky III.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_01: I guess it's hard to know who to root for.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, hey, I love America, but Russia invaded Ukraine and killed thousands of people, so it's just not clear which side was best, you know.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's a tough call.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I wish he was wrestling a Palestinian, like you know, Chuck Schumer, for example, or or Gazonian as we now call them.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: Then it'd be easy.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_01: You know, Moscow and the Jordan, baby.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: That's right.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: So, anyway, so they have this match, and Johnny's in one corner.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: I I don't know if you go into corners, that's more boxing, but anyways, I guess they were in a corner and I think we call them, I think we call them like octaves or something, you know.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: Could be, could be, you know, it's it's like a corner.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it's like circle in a square.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: That's a circle.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_01: Used to be a theater, and now they do wrestling there.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's right, that's right.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: So, anyways, so they're getting ready for the match, and and his coach says to him, you know, this Russian, he has this move, and it's called the Ukrainian death grip.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: And no matter, yeah, and no matter what you do, it is tough because you know you can hold that grip for years.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I bet, yeah, it's unbelievable.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: So he says, No matter what, do not let him get you into that grip because you'll never get out and the match will be over before you know it.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: And Johnny's like enjoying everybody clapping for him, and people have American signs and all kinds of stuff.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: And he's like Robert.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: So he goes out to start the wrestling match.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: And within a couple seconds, all of a sudden, this Russian has him in this Ukrainian death grip.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's unbelievable.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: The coach is pissed off.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: You know, he warned him a couple times.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: Well, the coach just puts his head down in his lap because he knows what's coming next.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: And then all of a sudden, he starts hearing this chanting that's going on.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: USA, USA.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: And he looks up and there's Johnny, and he has pinned this Russian guy and he wins the match.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's like really kind of cool.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's like something you would see in a movie, you know, with Scott Bayo playing playing the wrestler, of course.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: The wrestler, yeah.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: So the coach runs out there, you know, he's so excited and he gets to Johnny and he says to Johnny, how did you, you know, he he didn't say it because he put his head down.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: How did you get out of that death grip?
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: Johnny is still distracted a little bit, but what he said was, he says, Well, you know, when he first grabbed me, he started twisting my body in ways that I've never imagined possible.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I was in so much pain.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, my head was spinning, and I thought for sure I was a goner.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: But then all of a sudden, I opened my eyes and right in front of me are these two testicles.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: So I bit them.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: You know, a natural reaction when you see it.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: A natural reaction.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, who wants, right?
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: And so the coach says, Well, that's definitely illegal, and you could have gotten disqualified for that.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: And Johnny kind of smiled and says, I don't know about that, but I'll tell you one thing.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: You ain't got no idea how strong you are until you bite your own testicles.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: That is toothy yet pointed.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, at least it ended with a happy ending for the good guys.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_01: But I did hear that our king wasn't very happy.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: He must have felt bad that Putin's guy lost.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_01: That's just who he is.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_01: He's one of those everyone should get a trophy kind of guy.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_01: Or is that everyone should get a Kofavy?
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: But I digress.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't know about the match, but I read this and I didn't really know what they were talking about.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: But now I'm putting three and four together and I'm getting it.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_01: There, yeah.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_01: The cool part was that Johnny got a call from Putin who invited him to visit Russia and be honored for his win.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_01: I'll tell you, that's a gracious loser.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: Johnny's a very lucky guy.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, not sure when he'll be back, but uh hopefully he doesn't eat or drink anything when he's there, you know.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even know what happened to that coach who did his best to get Johnny ready, but it sounds like he did a great job.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_01: You know, if you ask me, coaches don't get enough credit for all the good that they do in sports.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that's right, other than in Nebraska, where coaches would be king if we didn't already have one.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: In fact, every year we actually named several coaches of the year.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it really doesn't matter the sports, you know, any sport works.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's really cool.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: You know, Steve, I were always looking for new guests.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have had a wrestler on the show yet, have we?
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I don't know about a wrestler, but funny you should say that, Jeff, because if we did want to have a coach on the show, I happen to invite one of the top 800 Nebraska coaches of the year for 2024 on our show.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_01: And he's right out there on the other just the other side of this glass.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: His name is Coach Mick Dicka.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_01: And he's from Lincoln, Nebraska.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_01: Now, Mick Dicka, you know, isn't that somebody on that morning Joe show?
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, she's on that morning Joe show, but you know, I digress.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, welcome to the show, Coach Iron McDicka.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, thanks for uh having me on the show.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_02: It looks like you got a great operation here.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_02: You ever need a coach?
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_02: Uh you know, to get your uh staff motivated, I'm your guy.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_02: That would be cool.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_02: You would do that for us, Coach Dicka.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I just need to know because you know, we we have a strong budget here, you know, that we try to go by.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: So are you volunteering to help us or would you be charging us for that?
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I'm sure it'd be uh a little bit of a you know good services, whatnot, uh have to be exchanged.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, we can we I think we're working something out though, you know, to what you do for an award-winning coach.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, that's outstanding.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah let's learn a little more about you if we're gonna consider hiring you.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_01: Where did you coach last year?
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_02: Oh gosh.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, where did I start?
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_02: Let's see.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_02: Uh went to Bing Gear.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_02: I was uh coach for sixth graders at uh Belmont Junior High School.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_02: It was uh real rewarding.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_02: Uh do it for the kids.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, that's really cool.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_01: Now, what sport was that?
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I was uh doing more math, mathematics, math leaks, I think is what they call those guys in number crunchers, bean counters, you know, that kind of stuff.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it wasn't wasn't doing anything too strenuous, it was your basic math, you know, the adding, subtracting, uh, division, uh, long division.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_02: That was always you kind of had to stretch before you hit that.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_01: And the course takes longer, yeah.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_02: And of course you got your your fractions and your improper numbers and whatnot.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_02: Uh but the uh the key is to make sure that they stay focused during class.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_02: So I was able to kind of soup up some chairs, uh, and they got a they got a charge of electricity in their seats anytime I caught them, you know, dozing off or just glancing away from the papers, looking out the windows, whatnot.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_02: You got to keep them heads down, pencils up, you know.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, you gave them a dose of electricity.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: That is fascinating.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_01: A little tough legal.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know, you know, you mentioned fractions.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_01: I I was okay with fractions, but I was a whole lot better with the infractions, you know what I'm saying?
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: But I digress.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_01: I see for parents listening to our show who can't afford, you know, a coach or a trainer or an electric chair.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_01: How can they help their child learn better?
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_02: Uh well, I would say you don't need to have the full chair be electric.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_02: You can always have an electric fence uh strapped to your dog and just let them run away every once in a while.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_02: You just kind of shoe them away.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe maybe testicles.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: If you could just like tie them to isn't that what they used to do?
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_02: Who uh teachers?
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: Teachers.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_02: Are you dogging teachers or dogs?
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe cows.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not sure.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm from Illinois, so what do I know?
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, if you definitely wanted a bull to buck, you you'd tie up the backside there.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_02: But uh anyway, uh, where were we?
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, right.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_02: Uh parents.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, uh well, you know, it's it's kind of simple.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_02: It's the same principles as coaching.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_02: It's no matter where you apply them, it's always kind of the same thing.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_02: It's four big points to hear you say number one, you build trust in a solid relationship, okay?
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_02: You gotta make sure they like you a little bit, or at least understand the words that you're saying.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_02: So you set goals and expectations that include rules and points of success.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_02: So then that way they know where they're going for.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_02: Number three, you establish authority using those rules, you're able to then be in control to let them know those rules are there for a reason.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_02: And number four, you make sure they experience natural consequences for their actions.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_02: A lot of what I learned, and not saying I gotta lean too heavily, a lot of what I learned was from Phil Jackson for his coaching philosophy, and we all know he might have been one of the greatest coaches of all time.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I'm from Chicago, so no doubt about it.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, in fairness, Phil Jackson coached two of the greatest players ever, Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, that might not be quite the same thing.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_02: Of course he did.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm glad and I'm glad you said that, you know.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_02: And not only is it a sentient point, Jeff, you're also demonstrating disrespect to an authority figure.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, something that seems ubiquitous and cannot be tolerated.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, that's number three.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_02: Establish authority.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_02: So, you know, and again, if I had one of my chairs, you get a jolt right now.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_02: But since we can't, we'll just invoke natural consequences for your actions, and that's total silence, two weeks.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_02: No speaking at all to anyone, friends, families, or teachers.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_02: This will allow you to concentrate and develop your listening skills.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_02: One of the things I always say, you can't listen out of three holes.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_02: All right, you got to shut one of them down, and then you can hear it.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_02: You close the mouth hole, the ears holes opens up.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_02: So I think that is very important.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_02: Now, I think you'd all be better off if you just didn't talk, I'd say, for a minimum two weeks a year, and you could learn a lot.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_01: You know, Coach Dick, I can see what you mean.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: They there might be a great community benefit to that, but you know, Jeff co-hosts a podcast, so he's gonna need to be able to talk kind of like we're like we're doing now, you know.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, I see you're wanting to take BZ wee out.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, that's fine.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_02: You your generation is like that, but it's your show.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_02: He can do it a podcast, but afterward, total silence with the understanding if he continues to be disrespectful and break rule three, he's going to take a lot more number four and be silent for a full month.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_02: I don't care if he's got a podcast.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that sounds fair, Jeff.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_01: You good with that?
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, you get off of the warning, kind of, you know.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: You know, part of me is wondering whether Steve to leave you behind so that you'd have to do this podcast by yourself, that is not fair.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: I I wouldn't want to do that to you, but it sounds kind of like a decent compromise.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, I I think I could probably do that.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe we could just move on a little bit here.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: Uh Coach Iron Mick.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: What other coaching jobs did you do in 2024?
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_02: Well, well, in addition to to helping the kids teach math, I was on the job coaching trek for all the TSA employees at, in my opinion, the smoothest airport run by you know, God's green earth, which is O'Hare Airport in Chicago.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_02: I think it is it just runs like a Swiss car.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_02: I think it's just amazing.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_01: It is a gem of convenience and efficiency, but yeah, certainly those are those are really important jobs.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, TSA, you know, they catch bad guys before they get on a plane.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_01: It's hard to imagine anything more important than that.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I call the TSA the trouble stopping agency.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's that simple.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_02: It's very, it's very important, okay.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, the first part of my job was to teach those agents that they were the most important people at the airport.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, most people think that they're just to serve.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_02: No, no, no, no.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_02: That is farthest from the truth.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, they protect people for sure, but what they teach people valuable life lessons.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_02: And again, we go back to the four points.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_02: They have to establish authority.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_02: For instance, if they teach people that they can try to carry over three ounces of liquid on a plane, they'll be strip searched, among other things.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_02: I am not liberty to discuss.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_02: Again, that is number four.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_02: You see the sign, you know who I am, you try to pass it by me.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_02: And number four is you're naked in the back room.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_02: But let's say the other thing people should learn that just because they get there at an airport, you know, three hours early before the flight, it does not guarantee you'll make your flight or even the next one.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, that's up to us.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_02: That is the authority, the brave TSA agents.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so remember taking an airplane from Chicago to Omaha is a privilege, not a right.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_02: And if we have to make sure that you have to do that by car, that's what happens.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_02: Natural consequences.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_02: So, again, I think it's great.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: Excellent.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: And Steve, I think I could speak for both of us in saying that that lesson that you taught them about thinking that they're the most important people in the world has really stuck with them.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: Their self-esteem is going through the roof.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_01: Jeff, if I could just interject here, I think that the idea of you know, as as part of number four winding up naked in a back room, I mean, that's that reminds me of a party I went to in the 80s.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_01: That sounds like a wonderful way to be punished.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_02: It is definitely natural, it is definitely a consequence.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, we just kind of figure that stuff out.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: I'm kind of surprised that they didn't have you also work with, I don't know what they're what who they work for or what they're called, you know, that pair of military heroes that stand in front of the traffic for arrivals and departures and you know yell at people to move their cars, that kind of stuff.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: They seem a little insecure and fragile, and I bet you could do a world of good for them.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_02: See, I I plan on uh working on with them later the year.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_02: You know, Jeff, you you might you actually kind of sound like you're making it.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I might I might reduce the silent treatment to one week since you are learning to see the authority so well.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, that would be great.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you are really talented.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_00: I just have to give you credit.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_02: Well, again, I it takes talent to no talent, so I definitely appreciate that.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I certainly don't want to break up this little silence or g love fest here, but let's let's get back to the interview, shall we?
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, we are doing a podcast here and and we are on the clock here at the studio.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so yeah, Steve with Steve with his blessed podcast.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_02: You know, it sounds like you seem you haven't quite learned the lesson that Jeff has learned.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_02: Steve, I think that tone of voice might give you eight hours in my uh special dunk tech.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: See, Steve, I guess we could all use a little coaching from Coach Iron Mick.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: And speaking of coaching, can I ask you about some of the other jobs that you did during the year?
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's this is fascinating.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, well, I mean, besides the usual coaching of like football and chess, I really enjoyed uh working with the older population too.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_02: Uh yeah, I I teach pickleball in uh skoky at the Hillel uh rec center.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_02: Uh I guess you you've you you can call it kosher pickleball.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_02: That was a Jewish joke.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, I think we I think we get it, you know, mustard and all.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_01: You know, amazingly, you've been all over the place from coaching 11-year-olds all the way to seniors.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, really, Mick, that's pretty cool.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_02: It has been very rewarding uh among the chosen people and the Jews.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_02: Again, it's another it's another Jewish joke.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well, I'm Jewish.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_00: I again, I don't want to be disrespectful, but that sounds a little some people would say that that might be a tad offensive iron Mick.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_00: And and speaking of your name, just a question here.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's Mick.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: Is that short for something like Mitchell?
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_00: Because that kind of sounds like an Irish slur.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, if if you're offended by that, I'm not gonna tell you some of the really funny Jewish jokes that Marjorie told me the other day.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, but but I will tell you what isn't funny.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_02: The millions of underage kids who are allowed to watch PG movies without their parents' consent.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_02: That will destroy a great country like ours.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_02: Now, if you ask me, we focus on the wrong things, but I think I I get your drift.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_02: You're in the media, so you have to be careful.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_02: At least that's what our king tells me.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_02: Uh enough sense.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you know, uh, some may find that offensive as well, Nick.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, wait, did you say the king talks to you?
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_01: What do you talk about?
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I'm I'm his official speech uh prom prompter coach.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I've been working with him for a while now.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_02: Uh I'd say back in 2017.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, you know, he you wouldn't believe how bad he was when we first started.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_02: He never knew where the prompter was, and he he lacked basic reading skills.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_02: So most of the time he would he would just give up and and talk about poll numbers and crowd numbers, TV numbers.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, you know, he would throw in 8675309.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_02: And I I just I had to start from scratch.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_02: But now, but now smooth is a cucumber.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_02: He he he I am very proud of him.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_02: He is my he is my best pupil.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_02: He and again, one of the things I taught him was that move where he just kind of cocked his head to the left and kind of read the prompter so he could read the monitor better.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_02: Now, now I will tell you, I they're not all successes.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_02: One of the worst ones I had was Robert F.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_02: Kennedy Jr.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, it was horrible.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_02: Back when he was trying to run for president.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, literally to announce he was going to run.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_02: This prompter was upside down, according to him, and he didn't have his glasses and he had to go back and he forgot he had a hot mic on and had to tell his wife to flip the prompter around.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_02: In reality, the prompter was just fine.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_02: I think it was the worm.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_02: It was the worm looking at the back of his head where it was already reflected and it was upside down.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_02: It was just y you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make a meat sausage.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_02: You know, it's just that simple.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_00: I've heard that they have a vaccine that can help you with your public speaking, but I don't think that you were you were done at the word vaccine.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, you were done at the word vaccine event.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_02: Unless you can put it in a pill filled with ashwagandha, he was he wasn't gonna take any of that.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, absolutely.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and you know, you know, as as bad as that was, as bad as his performance was, he's now in the federal government, so I guess the worm has turned, you know.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_02: He doesn't have to do a lot of prompter reading now that you know he can kind of just lay it out on a desk in front of him.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_02: And again, we assuming he talks at all, it's it's Robert.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_02: You just kind of leave him alone.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he doesn't really have to read because he'll just they'll just whisper in his ear what to say and you know.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_02: He's he's he's he's now gotten the ear prompt more than the eye prompt.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_02: Uh he still has to speak, which can sometimes for him be a little on the hard side.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's a little rough.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_00: But it does seem as though there's a lot of people in the administration that could use some help on public speaking.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_00: If for no other reason, just like don't they have like a secretary of state that's like four feet ten?
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, what is his name?
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_01: Little little Mikey, or well, I think physically he's taller than that, but you know, his his conscience is four foot ten or or shorter.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's just kind of a thing.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_02: The the the big guy kind of keeps me busy a lot of the time, so I don't really get to kind of turn around.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_02: It's sometimes it's an upkeep when when you have to deal with an ego of a man who you kind of have to let him know half the things don't exist and he just kind of needs constant, almost morphine-like drip feeding of of ego checks, uh, and ego boosting.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_02: Uh you just get tired, so you really can't deal with all of it.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_02: Uh uh, granted, my my window will open up once Mitch McConnell's officially gone.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_01: I can't imagine you're really able to coach him that much anymore while with you know reading ability uh pretty much near zero, and he can read it, but he can't say it.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_02: To be to be fair, that is an upkeep.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_02: I am I am pretty much just milking him for money at the same time.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, but there's a guy who could use a bolt of electricity.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_00: Do you think that would probably stimulate him?
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_00: Might even make him regular.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know if it was a cause or an effect of the jolting.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_02: He has had it.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_02: I just think some sometimes I kind of flip somebody in of just taking a buzzer to the back of him.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_02: That's why he's always when someone can when he blanks out, someone kind of just gets in close and taps him a little button.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_02: It's a joy buzzer to the back.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_00: I hate to interrupt before we go any further, but I just saw the stock market took another thousand points down.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's good because the time that we have been spoiled to believe that the market will only go up and it doesn't matter what we do.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'm glad that our king has has shown us that we actually should pay attention to the market.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_01: He said he'd bring prices down.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_01: I I didn't know he meant stock prices, but hey, you know right.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_01: He he brought them down.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, the the 20s worked so well the first time around.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_02: I think we're we're ready for a second dip.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_01: We're going headlong into the 30s here, I think.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_01: It's just it's just so exciting.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_01: And it's great.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_01: We we really are.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm gonna go out and buy an old truck and look for some farmers in Oklahoma that want to ride to California.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_00: But uh, you know, well here I hear they're selling old old Canadian trucks for sixty thousand dollars a year, you know.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, if you can get your own.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_01: Well, yeah, that's before the tariff.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_01: Before the tariff, yeah.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_01: So it should be like eight eighty thousand.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_02: But yeah, I mean, with the way Nebraska's going, we may have to import farmers.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, absolutely.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_01: You know, coach, I I can see why you were named one of the top 800 2024 Nebraska coaches of the year.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_01: You've done some very impressive work and you're quite a treasure, and that's not a you know what joke.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_01: Well, unfortunately, we are just about to get kicked out of eccentric Lady Land studios, and they they already kind of don't like us, so you know, because we don't, you know, pay them.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_01: So we better start to wrap it up.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_01: What do you think?
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_00: I just one other question.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_00: Now, am I supposed to not speak for the next week as soon as this podcast is over?
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_00: I just I don't want to violate this mandate that you've given me.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_02: The fact that you have established the authority enough that you required yourself to ask me that lets me know you're probably good.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_00: Well, thank you.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_00: Cool.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_00: That means a lot to me.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_00: Cool.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for thank you for being on our show.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_00: I can honestly say I don't think we've ever interviewed anybody quite like you, and probably won't again in the future.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_01: One of a kind, I would say.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_01: And Johnny, what parting gifts do we have for Coach Mick Dicka?
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_01: Right, Steve?
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_01: I've got nothing but silent respect for Coach Dick, or I mean Mick.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_01: And we have a gift package fit for a king, even our king.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_01: First, a two-week all expenses paid stay at the Metro's legendary yet decrepit Harney Hotel, now completely refurbished in royal style with golden toilets in every room.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_01: Some call them repurposed tubas, but they should be illegal.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_01: And for that fun-filled summer season, we have an official doggy chainsaw, personally autographed by Mr.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_01: Efficiency himself.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_01: Great for trimming threes or even cutting off children's cancer funding.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_01: A billionaire collector's item, all yours for just a small$18,000 delivery charge since you are not a billionaire.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_01: This has been an Obey in Advance production in association with Opposition Tempest TV.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_01: Find out all about Steve's Jeff at SteenJoff.com.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_01: This is Jeff.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_01: Not that wrestler, by the way.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_01: I used to be a ring announcer, but I've never actually wrestled.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I can't imagine biting my own testicles.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_01: Or for that matter, having them bitten by someone else.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_01: Well, maybe Steve's mom.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, good night.