Latest / Student Of Life / Men Don't Talk Until It's Too Late | Student Of Life Episode 8 (JTT)
Transcript
- Tre: Why do men wait until everything is falling apart before they finally talk about it? Hi y'all. This week we have another all star lineup. I feel like wait, I think I said this before, the same line before. But I think I need to start paying you guys. I said that before and I truly mean it. I truly mean it. I am so happy to have myself here. Yes, my name is Trey, but student of life. We have Tim Timothy. ⁓ from now on we're gonna start calling you Timothy. Tim S: Temote Jonny Vee: Timothy. Timothy. Present. Tre: Tim Mofi. Tim S: It's Timothie. I'm present, by the way. Tre: Good to go. Johnny Johnny V. We got Johnny V in the house. Johnny V, the one and only. Johnny, welcome once again. Thank you for being here. Jonny Vee: Thank you, thank you. Nice to be here. Great to see everybody across the stream, even though can't see you guys. Tre: hey, they're felt in your heart, right? We can all feel them. We can feel we thank you all for being here. The listeners, the viewers, thank you all for being here as well, too. ⁓ even though I said I'm gonna start paying them more, and I'm talking about Tim Moffy ⁓ Johnny V. Sorry, listeners, viewers, I'm not paying you anymore. But are very, very thankful that you're here. So, today is actually going to be kind of ⁓ a Jonny Vee: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You Tre: Heavy topic. And some of our topics recently, from the very beginning, actually have been kind of heavy. we're going to be talking about men's mental health. But this is going to be from ⁓ perspective, because none of us sitting today, none of us are mental professionals. We cannot give mental health advice. We're not doctors. We're not licensed, these are our perspectives from our lived experiences. anything that we say here, if you feel like you need to talk to someone, please seek out professional mental health. And if you're ki kind of going through some things ⁓ in an immediate sense and need to reach out to somebody, there is always nine eight eight. That's free of charge. Down eight eight. Press option one and talk to somebody in that immediate time if you need it for your mental health. things that are going on. Let's just say that. So we're gonna go ahead and talk about some things because we all three of us have some lived experience. Talking to you, Timothy, talking to you, Johnny V, we have real world military experience. Everybody on this panel right here has served in the military. So we're gonna talk about things like military culture. Jonny Vee: Yeah. Tre: We're gonna talk about things that the military kind of instilled in us. we're just gonna talk about just ⁓ perspectives. and you know what? I've done a lot of talking to this point, so I'm gonna leave it to ⁓ you, Do you have anything to really talk about in this setup aspect on just the tip? Tim S: Yeah, so aside from military also ⁓ as a first responder, both like in law enforcement and EMS. So know, I've been able to ⁓ the wide of everything kind of plays in part of not only mental health, but also your physical ⁓ well being as well. So Yeah, I'm I'm this is a topic that's near and dear to me and that I feel very strongly about. So I'm I'm looking forward to to talking about this and hoping that, you know, something that we say resonates with someone it it may make a positive impact for them. Tre: Yeah, very well said. And Johnny, and and thank you very much, Tim. And and I don't want to gloss over that. So not only have you served in the military, but you also serve the public ⁓ the sense of, you know, ⁓ law enforcement and such. So so my hats off to you, to all the first responders out there. please continue to stay safe. And yes, you and I and I think that's really a subset that we don't talk about much, ⁓ which is know, are public servants out there outside of the military, but public servants who who Do not really they see a lot of stuff, let's just say that. But there's not a lot of attention that gets put on to the mental health for fire rescue and police. So ⁓ and I know we're gonna talk about this a lot more when we get into the full package. But I do wanna say, Tim, thank you very much for your service on both sides. Johnny, did you have anything that you wanted to add? Jonny Vee: Yeah, actually. So to the viewers out there that are listening now, I hate the word and I really do hate the word triggering, but to use it in this context right now, just remember every topic that we do talk about, even if it's this, what we're talking about today, if, it brings back bad memories or anything like that, again, we apologize, but we're only here to try and help somebody that might not want to reach out, but that has gone through similar things and we're trying to help them see the good after the bad. We were trying to help them with any type of word of encouragement, anything we do, we're not doing it to harm or hurt anybody or especially our viewers. If know somebody that's going through something similar, please share this with them so that way ⁓ sometimes they got to hear it from somebody else in order to really understand it. So we appreciate you guys watching us, but if it does resonate in some way, shape or form, Make sure you guys help people out, guess. Tre: Yeah. ⁓ I mean, typically ⁓ there's a saying if you see something, say something, right? And and typically that's put ⁓ terms ⁓ ⁓ means, you know, ⁓ breaking the law or causing harm to someone. but you know, this community, when I say community, I'm talking about the human race as a whole. We We have to pay more attention to one another. And if we know that someone and we can see the signs that somebody might be struggling with something, right? See something, say something. Ask ask, you know, are you okay? And maybe they don't want to talk about it. I do wanna say in the military that that that's one of those gray right? we're we're taught in the military to Get the job done. We're taught to push through, and it's all about the mission. Mission first. Mission first. Mission first. So so there's a lot of things that happen in the military and just that culture where sometimes you just learn to just stuff it down, stuff it inside, and and just push through, you know. ⁓ if if you go and seek mental help. because you can't, know, get through something yourself. Unfortunately in in in the military, it's kind of looked down upon, you know, even if it's not verbally said, you know, ⁓ this person's just trying to skate out of something or or get out of something, you know, or whatever it may be. And and once again, this is my own perspective. This is my own perspective. And I've and I've served in two different branches. So so not just one side, the navy side, I've also had the Air Force side as well too. And and that's just something that I've noticed from those two branches. It's not, ⁓ you can't go to the mental health. No, it's it's not that. Nothing direct like that. ⁓ no, you can't go. But hey, what what are you supposed to be doing right now? maybe that's just, you know, people just not knowing or understanding. l let me ask you, Tim and Johnny. When it came when it comes down to mental health in the military, w was there anything that really jumped out at you or that you felt or saw yourselves? Tim S: Think a lot of it stemmed from the career field. you know, whatever your AFSC or your MOS or you know your your background was ⁓ the military. I think there were some that primarily ⁓ kind of they almost had a stance of, you know, mental health takes a side, you know, or back seat. you know, like you said earlier, the mission comes first. So, you know, unless you ⁓ have, you know, a broken limb ⁓ you know, something serious, in a more physical sense, there were, you know, times where people ⁓ it you we get into this later, where it you know, there were there were signs, ⁓ but they didn't to speak up and they didn't want to say anything and they don't want to go get the help and you know it got to the point where it was too late. But I think, you people and people in the military of, you know, ⁓ you had an office job or, you know, you did finance or you were a paper pusher or you weren't actually in the real military. and I think demeaning you know, to that served in general, no matter what your field is, because, you know, let's be honest, especially with recent events, there's probably people that were in these locations thinking I'm gonna go over for, you know, six, seven months and it's gonna be know, a a simple, and I hate using that word, you know, but deployment. And what transpired ⁓ you know, across the the Gulf area. So, you know, there were people that were working finance or HR or whatever they're in they had to deal with all of these real world events that are gonna l leave long term, you know, scars on them. Tre: Yeah. Yeah it's it's very, very sad, you know, w when you really think about it. Because and like you said, we're gonna talk about this ⁓ deeper the full package. So I don't wanna give away too much, but ⁓ there are some Some similar type situations that I've seen, witnessed, and went through, that that I can attest. Everything you said right now, Tim, yes, one hundred percent accurate. And and not everybody's experience is exactly the same. So, Johnny, do you have any thoughts on any of this? Jonny Vee: Yeah, it's It's, it's you and I, Trey I got to basically be a part of the military in a similar way. We're both corpsmen ⁓ and attached to Marine Corps units. Now it's a, it's a blessing in disguise, of course. but sometimes what people don't see. So for us, everyone always just thought that, ⁓ you're just a medical pencil pusher. You know, we've got points in times we are, but. One of the things that I know I went through training and I was blessed enough to have the instructors that I did have. A lot of them kept pushing, hey, you're not just there for ⁓ physical health. They're going to ⁓ to you because you are seeing as that caretaker role. So be prepared when it does come to that. And again, I'll touch on that a little bit later, but I know there was a lot of people out there too that that that burden does get put on them and it weighs on them. So more than people think anyways. Tre: Yeah. And once again, you know, if you're currently going through something mentally, I'm gonna I'm gonna always push this resource because it's a free resource and and people I believe everyone should know about this. And it's nine eight eight. Nine eight eight. Talk to someone. If you're currently going through anything, if ⁓ being triggered just from this episode itself, or if you're dealing with, you know, financial things that are really weighing you down mentally. ⁓ 988. not let your pride get the best of you. We're all in this together. But ⁓ so so moving on a little bit f from that, when we're talking about just the mental health in the military. d do you do you guys ever ⁓ feel like pressure to just figure it out versus asking for help and and and I want you guys to know really think that like like have you ever had that pressure just to figure it out versus asking for help Tim S: ⁓ yeah, being ⁓ go ahead. Jonny Vee: I'm sure every... Thank you. I'm sure every man has been at that point before. And that's actually one of the more difficult ⁓ to cross as a man ⁓ can I tough this out a little bit longer or do I need to ask for help? And I'm sure every man has gone through that before. What were you saying to him? Tim S: Yeah, so think one of the the big things too, and and I I kinda wanna revert back to ⁓ whole ⁓ of nine eighty eight, you know, and and this topic as a whole, it it's not just about ⁓ know, first responders and military, it's ⁓ health ⁓ a whole across the board. you know, because You know, let's be honest, there are things that happen across the country and across the globe on a, you know, daily basis that impacts people. you know, you think about all of these incidents ⁓ you know, mass shootings ⁓ or, know, these chaotic instances where, you know, people are being exposed to this trauma. so it affects, you know, it can affect everybody. So I don't I personally, you know, I I wanna say that we're not trying to only focus on veterans and first responders and people in those communities. This this is a topic that can literally impact anybody anywhere, anytime. So I think there's a very big stigma of, you know, men across the board that don't want to take the initiative to ask for help or to go seek help, you know, because it's that, you know, you're a man, tough it up. you know, you can you can figure it out on your own, you know, ⁓ I know we toughed or we talked about, you know, mental toughness earlier on in our series. but you can do things yourself for so long. before, you know, you get overwhelmed and overburdened and you need to reach out, you need to ask for help, and that's not a sign of weakness, you know, whatsoever. Tre: Never, never is it a sign of weakness. And and that's and I'm glad you're really focused in on the the fact that we're not just talking to veterans and we're not just talking about active duty military or first responders. We're talking about, you know, our perspective as men and what we're seeing in the community of men. And I feel that most men like I I don't believe that most men All right, how how should I I'm I'm trying to find the words that I really want to say here because Jonny Vee: Okay. Tre: I I I personally believe that as a man we long and and and we really strive for that community. I I personally believe this wholeheartedly. I don't think that most men just need therapy. You know, therapeutic ⁓ and again I said this earlier: I am not a mental health professional. This is my personal opinion, but I do personally believe that. Therapeutic means can come in any shape or form, like what we're doing right here. You know, the cigar community can be a a form of therapy for some. You know, some people do need to go and sit in a communal space and and have those personal relationships, and they can literally get that therapeutic means from from from you know just the relationships that they have but once again I am not a mental health professional I am not a doctor if you feel like you do need professional therapy or help please seek it out and if you're mentally struggling with something in the moment dial that nine eighty eight that I had mentioned as well too and they do have licensed clinicians on staff that can assist. So ⁓ takeaways do you have anything ⁓ that you want to say, Johnny or Tim before we go ahead and cross on over to the other side of the full package? Tim S: No, you you hit the nail on the head with that. So you know, this this is something that's a very i with it being June, and I don't want to take away from any of the other, you know, ⁓ celebratory things month. but men's mental health especially is a very under talked about topic. So th th this is Jonny Vee: Tim. Tim S: Like I said, something I'm passionate about. So I'm I'm glad that we were were going with this. Tre: And Johnny, did you have any final words that you want to say? Jonny Vee: me see. Final takeaway. Whether you subscribe to our full package or not, make sure that you surround yourself with the men that you see that you want to become as well. Because some of those men, they struggle, but some of those men you'll be able to see as well, they know how to talk things out. And it's always great to surround yourself with a community that's going to be able to help you become better. especially if they're men that you could tell that they are allowing you to not just vent, give you ⁓ or anything to keep you away from hurting yourself. And when I say that, I don't mean just physically hurting yourself. I mean financially hurting yourself or even emotionally hurting yourself. Surround yourself as men, for men's mental health, surround yourself with men that you trust that can lead you to a good path. Tre: Yes, and as we continue this discussion, because we're gonna cross over to the full package, we're gonna go deeper into our own lived experiences and perspectives. And if you hear anything that's resonating with you, you know, go ahead and ⁓ share, that, you know, with other people because it may resonate with them as well too. but if you just wanna go ahead and leave a comment for free to do that, go ahead and hit those like, subscribe, and share buttons. But once again, most importantly, let's continue to learn, grow, and live together. And we hope to see you on the other side.