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How the Enneagram can help you make better decisions · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, I'm Amy Wicks, a Jesus and Enneagram enthusiast.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: As a wife, mom of three humans, and a fur baby, I get it.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: Juggling entrepreneurship in a family is challenging, but I believe the Lord does want your work to be enjoyable.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: As an Enneagram type 7, I am all about the fun factor.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: And this podcast is here to help you put the joy back into working mom life.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: So you can see 1 Timothy 6.17 come to pass in your own thing.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's a verse that says that God has given us all things to enjoy.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: All friends, it means all.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: Motherhood, work from home life, or work out of the home life.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: With the Lord's help, there's truly a way to feel calm, balance, joy, clarity, and peace in any arena of life.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Simply Wholehearted Podcast, where you can expect solo-style and interview-style episodes that are full of faith-based concepts, simple ideas, Enneagram insights, alongside practical tips to help you put that smile back on your face when it comes to doing life with Jesus.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: Now get your headphones and head to that big pile of dishes in the sink, or maybe that bathroom that needed cleaning two weeks ago.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: And let's get to learning together.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: When it comes to making decisions, do you think through the information to make your decision first before deciding how to react or feel about that information?
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: Perhaps you feel your way through information first, and then incorporate reaction or thinking secondarily.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe you have a visceral response or gut reaction immediately, and then you incorporate your feelings or thinking secondarily.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: Your habitual response is unique to your personality type, and it's also based on a common, unifying core emotion.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: However, when you're not very self-aware, you can act from a place of brokenness, and these responses may often hurt the feelings of others around you.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: Insights like these are beneficial for the mompreneur making decisions day in and day out for her business and her family, especially as you most likely are married to someone who makes decisions in a different order than you, and more often than not, you're raising kids with a method that might clash with yours.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: In this episode and last week's, I am focusing on helping you better understand which communication style and decision-making tendencies you possess, and then what you need to be aware of when you engage with others.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: The Enneagram defines your decision-making dynamics as three distinct intelligence triads.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: And remember, triads simply means a group of three, and this specific episode will help you understand which intelligence triad you fall into and why others make different decisions than you.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: And they make them in a different way.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's really helpful because the Enneagram has nine parts, so it's really easy to divide it up into three sets of three.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: And today the set of three or the triad that I'll be covering is the Intelligence Center Triad.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: And this outlines the pattern of decision making for each Enneagram type.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: In short, to clarify and avoid confusion, the Intelligence Center Triad is the overall title of the head, heart, and gut triads, which I think you've probably heard of before.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: Learning about your triad can be so eye-opening as you dig into how you behave and respond to others' decision-making processes, both in healthy and unhealthy ways.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: And just because you make a decision a certain way, like using your gut, it doesn't mean you can't learn to make them differently, like including using your heart and head.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: The goal or aim of learning more about your specific personality type is to understand your focus of attention.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: Once you discern your natural or default pattern of decision making, the goal is to expand your focus.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: And therefore, you're going to learn to not just react on instinct, but instead to thoughtfully respond and make wholehearted decisions using your heart, mind, and body.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: Also, you may have learned how to pivot and adjust your natural decision-making style.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: So as I share the content, I'd love for you to think through the way you made decisions as your 18-year-old self.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: And whether you're proud of those decisions or not, they are the truest way to how you're naturally wired.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: The three triads that you're going to learn about today are the core connection to your emotional struggle and how it specifically influences your reactions.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: Understanding which intelligence triad you belong to can help you improve how you respond in situations.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: The intelligence centers also give insight into your emotional struggle and they name the underlying motivation to your decision-making process.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm wondering, do you desire significance and often struggle about what others think of you?
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: Or do you struggle with self-worth?
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: Are you motivated to have security and you find yourself fearful or anxious when making a decision?
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: Or is the need for fairness or justice often at the forefront of your mind and you find yourself dealing with an underlying sense of frustration and anger daily?
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: Not only did I create this episode to help you gain a better understanding of your triad and emotional struggle, but I've also created a brand new Enneagram quiz to help you determine where you fit in the default decision making and how it relates to your Enneagram type.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: As you listen to this episode, you can check out the wholehearted Enneagram quiz link in the show notes to learn more about yourself today.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: I also highly recommend listening to this content a second or third time with your spouse or teenager, or even listening again to see what your spouse and child's decision-making tendency is to.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: The Intelligence Center triad teaching can be very enlightening for your relationships.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, and a quick note on how the triads are different than the stances, because all these terminologies can get so confusing.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: When you think of stance, you think of posture and how a person might stand.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: The stance conveys how a person most naturally engages or postures themselves with others.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: Will they assert, withdraw, or come alongside?
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: And you can hear more about the stances in episode 240, which is the one just before this.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: But today I'm going to be covering the Intelligence Center triads, which again outlines the decision-making pattern for each personality type, or what you've heard of before, the head, the heart, and the gut triad.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: Did you happen to listen to part two of my fifth anniversary special?
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: Well, if you didn't, you may want to listen for a good chuckle and also some insight on how to use the Enneagram with your family.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: In part two of the fifth anniversary special, I share how our unique decision-making tendencies played out in my family trip to Disneyland, and precisely how these were on display when the first pick attraction for our family's day at Disney was also hundreds of other people's first choice.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: We had arrived well before the line drop at Disneyland, patiently waiting in a sea of people, not to storm the castle, but to storm the rise of the resistance attraction in Star Wars Land.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: As the rope drop and the crowds charged forward, my family of five found ourselves quickly separated.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: My two girls jogged ahead.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: My husband Spencer tried to follow.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: And then my son Miles and I, we were held back because someone stepped on a shoe, causing it to come loose.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: It was sort of comical looking back on it, but at the moment, it was a little frustrating and quite stressful.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: During this crazy under pressure moment, I noticed each of my family members engaged in their decision-making tendencies, and I could also see the emotion underneath their motivation.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: My Enneagram aid daughter got to the long line and she immediately had a gut reaction, deciding I want to be in control of the situation, and quickly felt like she wasn't in control.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: So, in order to not be at the mercy of a long line and a little bit more in control of the day, she found an attraction with zero wait time and she headed in that direction without thinking or asking what anyone else wanted to do.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: Meanwhile, my Enneagram 7-daughter was thinking in her head, well, this looks like everyone in the park is in this line.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: And if that's the case, I'll be stuck in this line forever.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: She could see all her other options and she didn't want to be limited by the long line or waste any of the fun time.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: So she quickly created a strategy to be certain that she would get to do an attraction she wanted.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: And then to avoid her feelings of anxiety, she reacted.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: So then, as both girls pivoted together in this sea of people to find that ride with zero wait time, my Enneagram 9 hubby quickly merged with their action and followed along because he instinctively would prefer not to be left behind or separated from them.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: As my husband followed the girls, my son and I stayed in line, sticking to the original plan.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: But I received texts communicating this change in the game plan.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: This was a change I wasn't thrilled with because I have learned as an Enneagram 7 in the thinking triad that you have to make a plan and stick to the plan.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: Don't let the anxiety of things maybe not working out derail.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: But I only have learned this the hard way and over time with self-awareness.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: The funny thing was, in the text exchange between my husband and I, it was very clear he wasn't too happy with me sticking with the plan and thought, why on earth would you not follow them and just go the way they're going?
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: Whereas I, on the other hand, I was like, why did you follow them?
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: Stick to the plan.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, my Enneagram 3 son, who is all heart and in the feeling triad, he stuck with me.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: He didn't want to wait forever in this line, even though he knew it was going to be an incredible attraction.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: But he could feel my angst, and he truly made a decision based on this sense of feeling my emotions.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: He in the end felt it would be more advantageous to stick it out with me.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: He knew I would be proud of him, and he also hoped it would be totally worth it.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: And it was, I reassure you, it was the best ride of the day.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: We all did get to ride it.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: And you'll have to listen to part two of the anniversary episode to hear a little bit more of the story.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: But I thought this was a perfect, even though silly, real life illustration of what was going beneath the surface of our different decision-making tendencies, plus some of the emotion tied to them.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: Now I'm going to explain the three different parts of the Intelligence Center triads.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'll dive into what makes them uniquely different, the emotion tied to those decisions, and even a specific scripture to encourage your emotional growth today.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: First up, I'm going to share about the head triad.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: The Enneagram types that fall in the thinking triad are types five, six, and seven.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: The thinking center is also known as the head triad and primarily uses their thoughts to make decisions and mitigate their emotions of anxiety.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: If this is your primary triad, you filter and think through the perceived facts before deciding how to react to or feel about the information.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: You use how you think to guide yourself in decision making.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: And as a type in the Enneagram head triad, you tend to take a little bit longer to make decisions because you like to understand things through analysis before proceeding further.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: The Enneagram personality types that are part of the thinking triad tend to be knowledgeable people who love to delve into the exciting unknown for higher understanding.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: And depending on your dominant personality type, you can either favor your alone time over being with others or despise being alone and always surrounding yourself with one person or a group of people.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: For example, my Enneagram 7 daughter created a strategy to be certain that she would get to do an attraction she wanted.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: And then to avoid feelings of anxiety, she changed the game plan.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if the type 6 had been with us in the Disney scenario, they might have prepared for this exact issue ahead of time and already had two or three options to propose to the group before making a new decision.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: And if a type 5 had been in this Disney situation, well they probably were the one who had formulated the original strategy, and they would have felt anxiety for not preparing well enough or not having enough information for creating a successful plan.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: Now, did you know your thoughts and fears were connected?
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: The thinking triad's dominant core emotion is fear, caused by insecurities brought on by a lack of self-confidence and the thought of being left out and alone in isolation.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: But friend, if this is you, you don't have to stay stuck.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: The best advice for the Enneagram personality types in this triad is to learn more about your fear instead of suppressing the anxiety.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: Naming your fear can help you rationalize if it's reasonable.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: Once you acknowledge your fear, God invites you to cast all your cares upon Him.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: And when you believe you are safe in the arms of Jesus, you begin to feel more comfortable alone and being your authentic self.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: I'd like to share some scripture that speaks to building our trust in the Lord.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: And it's a favorite of mine found in the book of Philippians.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's one you've probably heard of before.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's in chapter 4, verse 19.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: And the same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: Now, next up is the heart triad.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: The Enneagram types that fall in the heart triad are the types two, three, and four.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: This intelligence center is known as the feeling triad, and they primarily use their feelings to make decisions, and they do struggle with emotions of shame.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: If you fit in this triad, you have a sense or feeling about the information presented, and you might even take in account others' feelings.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: Then you react or think through the decision.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: You use how you feel to guide you in making your decisions.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: As I mentioned before, my Enneagram 3 son made a decision based on my feelings.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: They weren't wholly opposite of how he felt, but he also felt that it would be a win and a success to stick with mom and to go with her plan.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: Now, a type two in this Disney scenario, they would find themselves wanting to help whomever they were with in the moment.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: Perhaps if they had been in line with me, they may have felt it was like their duty to stick it out.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: But if they had been with the others who decided to pivot, a two would have felt obligated to find a way to support the new plan.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_00: Now, a type four would similarly have sensed or felt the disappointment that either group of people were facing and likely in that moment attempt to empathize.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: They too would probably go along with whomever they were with, to feel a sense of belonging and not isolation, especially when they're in Disneyland.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: If you fit as a type in the heart triad, you tend to be very in tune with others' emotions and you recognize when someone needs support.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: You also seek recognition, consciously or unconsciously, for a sense of belonging.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: Did you know your desire for significance is connected to your struggle with shame?
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: Oh and PSA, the desire for significance isn't bad.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's the shame that trips you up.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: You may unconsciously embody an image different from your true self for everyone else's acceptance and approval.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: You crave connection and intimacy with others, and if your needs aren't met, you feel a great sense of shame as if you aren't worthy enough.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: But it doesn't always have to be this way.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: Since the heart triad's dominant core emotion is shame, caused by a need for approval by others, the best advice for this Enneagram personality types within the heart triad is to work on yourself before focusing on the needs of others.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: By getting your needs met from the Lord and engaging in healthy soul care practices, your self-worth grows and you rely less on others to make you happy.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: Some scripture that I have found specifically for you today are verses 1 through 5 from Psalm chapter 139.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_00: O Lord, you have examined my heart, and you know everything about me.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: You know when I sit down or stand up.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: You know my thoughts even when I'm far away.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: You see me when I travel and when I rest at home.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: You know everything I do.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I will say even before I say it, Lord.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: You go before me and follow me.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: You place your hand a blessing upon my head.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: I love this truth.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_00: And the reminder that God sees you and you have approval with Him.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: Now, last but not least, we're gonna cover the gut triad.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_00: The Enneagram types that fall in the gut triad are types eight, nine, and one.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_00: This intelligence center is also known as the instinctive triad and primarily uses their instincts to make decisions.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: They are also prone to anger.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: If you have a gut or visceral reaction immediately, then you incorporate feelings or thinking secondarily.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: You use your intuition to guide you in making decisions, and you may be action-oriented, stubborn, and have a strong sense of justice.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like my Enneagram 8 daughter in Disney, she didn't even think about the situation or consider how others might feel when she decided to go for a different attraction.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: She just made a decision and she pivoted.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: My Enneagram 9 husband reacted by following the girls and then felt anger that some others were not merging with the opinions like he was.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: In a type 1 who is also in the gut triad, they might react based on what they deem is an excellent way to respond to the situation.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: More often than not, it would look like going along with what the rest of the group thought was the right idea or a good idea.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_00: The types in the gut triad usually have a desire to control.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_00: If you lose control, your feelings of frustration and anger can take over and cause chaos, either internally or externally, because you don't always think before acting.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: The instinctive triad's dominant core emotion is anger caused by internalized inclinations to make the world a better place, according to each personality type's opinion.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: This desire to make things better may look like creating change or bringing people together, or simply fixing the world.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: But my friend, if you struggle with anger, it doesn't always have to rule the day.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: My best advice for the Enneagram personalities in this triad is to learn to be mindful of the impact that your words and actions have on other people.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_00: Whether you withhold your words unduly or forcefully overstate your opinion, there's a better way.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_00: Don't suppress your anger, instead, name your desire for control.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_00: When you really believe that God cares about justice, in fact, the word of God says he loves justice, you stop carrying the burden alone, and you begin to trust the Lord with the outcome.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: I'd love to share one final scripture to champion your wholehearted journey today, to affirm what you are great at doing.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_00: The book of Isaiah, chapter 1, verse 17 says, Learn to do good, seek justice, help the oppressed, defend the cause of the orphans, and fight for the rights of widows.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that is a good scripture to meditate on today and direct our steps.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'm curious, friend, did you learn something new today?
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_00: It was a lot of information, and I still didn't share everything there is to know.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_00: But that's why I've got more for you coming up in my new series on the nine types that is starting next week.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_00: Now, many of my coaching clients that begin to understand what their triad is and the emotional struggle connected to it, well, they find those sessions to help them make so much better decisions for their business and their family.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's also a very powerful session in the Becoming Us marriage coaching program.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's great to know how you are different or the same when you process decisions.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_00: Now, are you confident about which triad you fit in?
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you listen and you know for sure that you are a head, heart, or gut decision maker.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_00: Make sure you're asking yourself which is the most natural and are you aware of the core emotion behind your decision making.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: Again, just a quick reminder: I did create a new free Enneagram quiz which helps you determine this very thing so you can be confident which one you fit in.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_00: Because once you understand this, relational growth, self-discipline, and lasting life change can be yours.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_00: Again, you can find the link to this free quiz in the show notes.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: Now, did you feel like you resonate more with your emotional struggle than you would like to?
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_00: I get it, but here's the deal, friend.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_00: Knowledge is power.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_00: When you know more about the emotions behind your decision, you can begin to transform yourself and the strength and health of your closest relationships.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_00: When you use your newfound knowledge the right way, it can strengthen your relationship with Jesus, you can have flourishing relationships, and it can even help you thrive in your business.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: Now that you're learning that not everyone makes decisions like you, you can also begin to think about how others are motivated, driven, and then you may have more patience with their decision-making process.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_00: And remember, just because you make a decision a certain way, like using your gut, it doesn't mean that you can't learn to make them in a different way when using your feelings and your thoughts.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_00: The goal or aim of learning more about your type is to understand your focus of attention.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_00: Once you discern your natural or default pattern of decision making, the goal is to expand your focus, therefore learn to not react only relying on instinct, but instead to thoughtfully respond and make wholehearted decisions using your heart, mind, and body.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_00: Now, before you download the next episode in your playlist, I imagine you thought of one or two friends who would enjoy this episode.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_00: Carrying a sharing friend, so use your app's share feature and pass us along with a little note of what you learned today.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_00: And if you enjoyed the Simply Wholehearted podcast, your five-star reviews make all the difference.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_00: You can leave us a review of your own and let us know your Enneagram type.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_00: Next week, I'll be back with the first of our spring series covering all nine types.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_00: There is so much to share with you, I can't wait.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_00: So until next time, continue to pursue God's perspective, purpose, and plans for your wholehearted life.