Latest / Soul Salon with Ayandastood / 52: fear of being seen | 3 powerful shifts to support you.

Transcript

52: fear of being seen | 3 powerful shifts to support you. · Soul Salon with Ayandastood

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  Step into the visibility that you know, you desire, and you know, you deserve.
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  When you don't post something because you think someone else is going to judge you for it,
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  the creator in you is prioritizing the critic in them.
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  But the creator in you needs to see more of the collective than purely the critic.
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  You need to see the highest expression of the collective, which is not judgment.
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  So you need to say, I see more for us.
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  And I'm going to create for that version that I see, you have a perspective, my love.
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  In conversations, people are always saying, oh, wait, I've never thought about it like that.
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  Oh, I was thinking about the thing you said the other week.
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  And if you have those experiences in person, you will continue to amplify those experiences
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  the more you share yourself on and offline, because that is your frequency, that is your energy,
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  that is your power.
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  This message has found you because you have been trying to step into greater levels of visibility.
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  And even more than you want to be seen, you truly want to be felt.
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  And as you step into greater levels of visibility,
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  one of the fears that keeps circling in your heart and in your body,
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  a fear that is evolutionarily designed to help keep you safe,
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  is your fear of judgment from other people.
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  And there are two deep shifts that I want to give to you as someone who has faced
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  and continues to alchemize the fear of being seen into love,
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  into connection, into desire and possibility.
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  And these two shifts are going to support and expand your consciousness
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  as you step into the visibility that is your birthright.
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  So number one, you posting yourself on social media
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  or you stepping into more visibility in the rooms that you exist within,
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  promoting your work, amplifying your voice, performing on stages.
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  It's not going to make people judge you.
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  It's going to highlight the people in your life who already are judging you.
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  And so sometimes my love, when we avoid putting ourselves in a position to be seen,
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  it's not that we're avoiding what will become true if we do so.
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  It's that we're avoiding what already is true.
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  If there is judgment that you are fearing from people who you know,
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  people you maybe went to high school with, work with now, live in your community,
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  your family, then you not sharing yourself.
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  Is you just protecting yourself from the truth that you are surrounded
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  by people who don't genuinely support you.
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  And so when we hide instead of step into the possibility and the frequency of visibility,
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  we are hiding from our own truth because we know that this calling is ours to honor.
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  And we also know that there are people out there who would love
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  to hear what we have to say, to receive what we have to give.
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  But we let people who don't have our best interests at heart.
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  In our circle and in our midst, we let what they might say and what they might feel
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  stop us from sharing.
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  But I want to invite you into an understanding that you cannot make something more true
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  than it already is.
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  If those people do not support you, all that will change is that you will have to step further
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  into the truth of their lack of support.
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  One of the distinctions I always make with my clients who I coach on the fear of being seen,
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  multi-passionate, multi-dimensional creators who know that visibility is a vessel of vehicle
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  towards deeper levels of purpose and impact.
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  And something that I always say to them is what the fear of being seen highlights is the
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  difference between the frequency of support which we crave and evaluation, which is what we often
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  receive. Someone who supports you is unconditionally loving and pouring up liftment into you.
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  They are proud of you for taking the step. They are not evaluating how the step went.
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  Those who are evaluating you on the other hand, those are the people who are saying,
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  oh, I see you've been posting on social media. How's that been going for you?
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  That video you posted was kind of embarrassing.
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  Oh, I would never post the way that you're posting.
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  Okay, so you're going to be a comedian. What awards have you won?
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  Oh, so you want to write a book?
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  So obviously you want it to be a New York Times bestseller. They are evaluating not only our goals,
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  but also our ability to fulfill them. And these are the people who you get a little bit scared
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  to share your dreams around. Watch out for that voice when someone asks you, what are you dreaming
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  of or what are your goals? And you feel you feel a little bit tense and scared to share.
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  Sometimes it's because your deep subconscious heart and mind has identified that this person
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  is not a safe space for your dreams. This person is not a space of unconditional love and support,
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  but a space of judgment and evaluation with love to them because we give the frequency we received.
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  So they have probably felt judged and criticized and held to impossible standards and therefore
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  do the same to us. And so what we must understand is when we prevent ourselves from being seen
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  because we want to protect ourselves from the evaluators and because we don't feel we have enough
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  supporters, we're actually blocking ourselves off from the possibilities of gaining those long
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  term supporters, people who genuinely want to feel our vibration, people who want to resonate
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  with us. And I really believe in collective dreaming that our dreams are not purely our own,
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  we are receiving and holding the frequency of the collective dreaming through us. And so in the
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  beginning of stepping into greater levels of visibility, we need to be willing to imagine
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  that there are people who want to receive what we want to give. And so you're not going to be
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  making something true that isn't already true, you are just going to be stepping into further
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  truth, which is that there are people in your circle who are judging you. And once you can radically
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  accept that, then you can understand that the attempt to protect yourself from their judgment
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  might not be the wisest and most loving way to respond because that energy of judgment towards
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  you is already within those people. And so you can only shine a light on what is, you're not going
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  to bring about something that never was. But you're also going to be surprised by the people who
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  you've projected criticism and judgment onto as a projection of your own self doubt onto them,
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  oh they're going to judge me, they're going to think this is cringe, actually I'm judging me,
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  I think this is cringe. You're going to be surprised that there will be people who you went to
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  high school with or who you work with or in your community who you'll assume are only judging you.
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  I've had so many people from different chapters of my life reach out to me who I never would have
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  thought send me a TikTok I've made or a podcast episode and say I really need this. I've had
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  members of my own family who I've then more deeply connected with through my own content,
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  which is a very special experience to have and one that will unlock for you if you share yourself
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  in this way. So that is the first shift my darlings is that you're not going to make something true
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  that isn't already true, you're just going to step into a more radical acceptance of that truth.
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  If you fear they're judging you in a sense they already are will you let that silence you or will
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  you just allow yourself to be judged in a more obvious way. Now let's get into shift number two,
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  which is all about integrating the way that we judge other people because just as we fear being
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  judged we also judge and so if we can really integrate our judgment of others understand it,
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  learn from it then we can dissolve some of our fears around being judged by other people.
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  Let's get into it. So I invite you to write three columns in your journal. You're going to write
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  down number one column who you judge the name number two column why you judge them what you judge
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  them for and the third column is what you are drawn to about them what you desire and are attracted
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  to in what they're doing find the truth of it my love because there's something there jealousy is
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  desires they say and I once read in this one book it was speaking from a perspective of women
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  it was saying that because women are socialized to not own our desires we're instead taught or
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  invited or allowed to only express our desire through envy you know that's just a lot of
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  just interesting because we also judge and what I think is really powerful about the fear of judgment
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  is once you connect to the way that you judge other people and the judgment energy within your being
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  once you connect with it once you understand it's fears it's doubts it's insecurities it's view of
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  the world you will stop putting other people's judgment on such a pedestal and giving it so much power
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  above you because you will understand that that judgment is not coming from a place of healing within
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  them it is coming from quite the opposite it is coming from a sense of lack within them that we've
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  all been made to feel by our social conditioning by all these systems of supremacy and oppression
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  so if you think about yourself as someone who judges and you ask yourself well if I fear the judgment
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  of my friends and family and I've also judged my friends and family then what makes their judgment
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  so much bigger than the way that I've judged others let me explain what I mean by this each of us
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  has many different voices and energies within us and one of the voices we have within us is the critic
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  this is the part of us who wants to bring down and judge and gossip about not in a nourishing
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  socially conducive way but in a toxic shaming destructive way so we have this voice of judgment
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  and criticism within us but we need to recognize that's not all we have none of us is only that voice
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  of judgment okay so when you don't post something because you think someone else is going to judge
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  you for it the creator in you is prioritizing the critic in them but the creator in you need to see
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  more of the collective than purely the critic you need to see the highest expression of the collective
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  which is not judgment so you need to say I see more for us and I'm going to create for that
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  version that I see not for our insecurities and doubts and need to bring each other down in
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  competition and comparison but for our love for our healing for our collective future if you
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  imagine your favorite creator someone you deeply admire okay so let me think of Audrey Lord
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  someone who has inspired me so endlessly with her words with her work someone whose work I return
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  to again and again now I think about Audrey Lord and then I think about the fact that every human
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  being fears judgment fears criticism and Audrey Lord has specifically written about those fears
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  of what can ensue when we share our voice honestly the transformation of silence into language
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  and action is an essay she's written on this so now I think okay let me connect to the part of me
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  that is a judgmental part the judgmental frequency within me the critic within me what I want
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  Audrey Lord as she's writing and deciding whether or not to write something whether or not to
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  publish something do I want her to prioritize the critic in me or do I want her to see more for me
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  do I want her to see the possibility that I might read her words and be deeply moved and refer
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  back to them again and again and again someone who made things possible for me who would I want
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  Audrey Lord to prioritize as she's writing the part of me that needs to bring someone down to feel
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  good about herself the part of me that feels so small that she has to make others feel even smaller
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  in order for her to feel something at all of worth of value you know you hear what I'm saying
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  or do I want her to believe there's a possibility that there is some person out there in another
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  timeline who's going to read my words and deeply feel them and deeply reveal them and be so
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  grateful that even though I was afraid I chose to commit this to paper and then I chose to go
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  through the process of editing it and sharing it and publishing it and dealing with the consequences
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  of what could go wrong do you hear what I'm saying so you have to decide there is the frequency and
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  energy of judgment in the collective consciousness do you want to create in a way that accepts
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  and furthest and takes for granted that that's all we are just judgmental just judging people
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  or do you want to believe that within each of us is the desire for love within each of us is the
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  desire to resonate to be moved and I'm going to create for that frequency right now there's
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  people in my life I'm certain they're judging me I'm certain they are but I connect to the
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  judgment within myself and I know that that judgment is a part of me that is hurting and so I don't
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  put their judgment on a pedestal and say oh no I need to stop myself from posting because they'll
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  judge me I send my love to that part of them that needs to judge me and that's the actual third
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  ship that I want to share with you my love what if in you sharing yourself authentically you're
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  inviting people to confront what is already true for them what do I mean by that when we feel
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  judgment criticism comparison jealousy rejection oh who would do that who would post that when
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  we feel that frequency and we'd really feel into it it allows us to reach a deeper level of
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  healing and truth within ourselves so what if by you silencing your expression you're actually
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  silencing the expression of those who are meant to be triggered by you in this way because it
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  will make them will invite them rather to confront what they don't like about their own lives what
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  they don't like about how they're showing up in their own world and truth because how many of us
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  have been so irritated by someone and then realized we just want to do more of the kind of thing
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  that they're doing they're sharing themselves radically they're expressing their unapologetic
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  and we're like oh I reject that within you especially the way that we've been socialized especially
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  with for me like sister wounds and however taught to regard our sisters you know what I mean okay
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  and so with that had the people that I am jealous of not actually shed themselves
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  I would never have been able to confront my jealousy through them oh my gosh a lot is happening
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  I hope that you are on the vibration that I'm on because so much is happening so if you block your
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  expression because expression is a ripple effect in the universe you are blocking their expression
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  you are blocking the part of them that needs to confront irritation annoyance rejection jealousy envy
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  whatever it may be that comes up for them it is not noble of you to block them from experiencing
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  that within themselves because it is through those triggers that any of us expands into what we
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  were actually here to expand into in the first place oh my goodness it just makes so much sense
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  so if you are in your fullest expression it is none of your business baves what people end up
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  feeling or moving through because of it so long as you are an integrity and an alignment if you
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  are speaking through and with love it's not your job to protect them do you know what is so
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  fascinating babes so you fear their expression and expression being the energetic reaction of
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  judgment in order to protect them is what you're actually doing from their experience of judgment
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  because it's going to be more uncomfortable for them how uncomfortable is it to sit and reject
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  someone it's not it doesn't feel good it's not our highest being we're not the most proud of
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  ourselves when we're doing that we're not like oh my word I judged people today it felt so
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  delicious so you are silencing your expression to prevent them from having to confront their own
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  the judgment that we've all internalized is this surveillance that's been put into the self so
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  that we are a self oppressing and self controlling and self surveilling people like the Foucault
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  Panopticon idea okay which is that one of the most effective forms of dominance and control
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  is not direct state or like oppressive governance which we have dominance which we have
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  but to get people to a place where they dominate and surveil and repress themselves and I think
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  this impulse to share but then to block that impulse is an example at a paradigm level of us
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  repressing and controlling and oppressing ourselves okay my loves okay my darlings so this
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  shift is to say what is true for that person through their judgment of you is true for them
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  and you're not sharing yourself maybe also you blocking them from awakening to that judgment within
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  themselves because the thing is that we're not moved by just judging one person but it's when
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  we notice in our lives bro I'm judging everyone what's going on with me so then how many
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  everyone's it'd take for me to finally have the spiritual shift to do something about it so what
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  if you are one of the people they need to judge to be more conscious of their judgment so that they
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  can actually heal from it oh my word so every expression leads to more expression it is not your
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  job to block the expression that may lead from your own it is only your role if you feel called and
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  if you're still watching this you feel called to express what is true for you what wants to move
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  through you what wants and needs to be expressed through you step into the visibility that you know
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  desire and you know you deserve you have a perspective my love in conversations people are always
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  saying oh wait I've never thought about it like that oh I was thinking about the thing you said
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  the other week and if you have those experiences in person you will continue to amplify those
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  experiences the more you share yourself on and offline because that is your frequency that is
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  your energy that is your power babes my darling we are stepping into soulful visibility that is my
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  method for expanding your capacity to be seen but more so for honoring your path to be felt for
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  identifying that there is a calling within you it's been there and it's getting louder and louder
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  okay and it is asking you to pick up this is actually my second time recording this video
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  and I was in tears just yesterday because I recorded a channeled version of this and I loved it
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  I had the chills I was so electrified by it I got up on my laptop to press stop recording
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  and yes you guessed it it wasn't recording at all and so at first I started laughing I was like
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  the universe is so funny clearly I needed this to happen and it's gonna be okay because it's
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  all within me and inside me and I was like oh how powerful that I'm reacting by laughing
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  that I'm not that affected by this oh and then later I tried to record it again I started crying
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  you stepping into being seen is not going to change how people feel about you it's going to highlight
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  how they already feel I said the message is gone what am I gonna do now I can't do what I did
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  exactly the same way that's exactly why it's called channeling it's different every time
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  and I started crying and then I just crawled into bed I said well that's that okay that's that
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  but then today I said to myself you know what babes when you are a match for the frequency of
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  the thing that you are here to express it is from that energetic alignment that you then speak
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  and that is already within you so yes I delivered this message differently from the way that I
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  delivered it yesterday obviously that is the nature of life we're in the society that wants us to
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  keep things static and the same wake up at the same time write the same number of words everything
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  must be the same because they want to mechanize the self but you are not a machine you are divine
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  and cosmic and dynamic so yes I expressed it differently today but what I'm feeling into is the
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  power of soulful visibility because I'm speaking from my soul and so what is true for my soul
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  that conviction and that power is going to be transmitted and that is the point that is what we are
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  craving is that energetic alignment between the messenger and the message they are one and the
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  other thing that I want to say to you my loves is that no one physically wants to see me for example
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  it's not that they long to see my physical manifestation they long to see what I see and so if
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  you fear being seen what if it is because there are things you are still meant to see
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  before you can fully embody the sight that the messages you are here to deliver require of you
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  oh my gosh because a message needs a messenger who feels it so strongly that they must share it
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  oh so if you haven't gotten to the must I mean I'm so full of this I'm so
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  brimming with this idea that it must flow from my being
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  that is soulful visibility it's not from the ego and so yesterday I was singing to myself and I
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  was singing two lines I lost something today I found something today so yes I lost the recording
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  that I made yesterday but I found a loving way to respond I found my masked emotional reaction
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  which I learned in childhood don't cry of a spilled milk it's already happened what can you do
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  versus my actual deep in a child emotional reaction which was crying sadness I've lost something
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  it's gone it will never come back like it felt like it slipped into the ether of the universe
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  but then I could also see that I found resilience I found love I found acceptance I found levity I
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  started laughing I found a deeper connection to the message because as I said the message needs a
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  messenger who is deeply devoted to it my darling that is the kind of person especially as this landscape
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  grows we want to hear from people who truly believe what they're saying you know what I mean
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  you know how pleasurable is it's pleasurable because they're so obsessed with what they're saying
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  that that's just an attractive magnetic energy everything is unfolding for you and if you long to
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  be seen know that there are people who long to see what you see to feel what you feel to tap into
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  the vibration that you are here to embody and share with the world I love you so much my loves you
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  are so welcome to book a session with me on the fear of being seen on stepping into soulful
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  visibility I also do sessions on creative activation if there's something in your life you're longing
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  to create but you are getting blocked or you are feeling there is a bigger dream that you want more
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  clarity around I invite you to book a session with me and otherwise I hope that my voice and my work
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  continues to serve your deepest consciousness that is my hope that I am here to expand you
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  and I'm here to pour love into you I love you so dearly thank you for being with me in this
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  frequency and this vibration we are soul siblings we are resonating on the same frequency welcome
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  to the soul salon I love you so much my donnings I will see you on the next soul session love you
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  bye I hope some paradigms have been shifted for you in today's conversation as always if you can
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  please leave a five star rating on apple and Spotify like comment subscribe I love you so so much
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  okay I love you join me on my sub stack links in the comment section go there okay love you so much
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  love you bye