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I Thought Life Without Alcohol Would Be Miserable. I Was Wrong. · Journey Out of the Bottle

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Journey Out of the Bottle, the podcast that's challenging outdated narratives and opening up modern conversations around alcohol and addiction.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Melissa Leera, and whether you're sober curious, alcohol-free, or somewhere in the gray area, we're in the right place.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: It is my hope that something you hear will inspire you, or comfort you, or remind you that you are not broken and you are certainly not alone.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: A toast to an epic voyage toward your journey out of the bottle.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Cheers.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: If Journey Out of the Bottle can help even one woman who is suffering like I was, that is my goal.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: That she can truly know and embrace that life will be better without alcohol.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: I suffered for so long.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: It was always an underlying nagging feeling in my gut knowing that alcohol was the problem.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: When I tried to blame my hormones, when I tried to blame um a relationship, when I tried to blame.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes most of the day.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: I truly believed that.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: I truly believed that the more happy hours that I can coordinate and help people get buzzed and get buzzed myself, that we were creating truly great connections.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: Now don't get me wrong, I I had I did have some amazing connections and some amazing fun times.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: However, I believed that I could not have those fun times without alcohol, and I think that's the big difference.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: Is that we believe that there it's either it's either or that there's no in between that if I don't drink, my life is going to be a miserable existence.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: That I'm gonna have to go to AA to not drink, that I'm gonna have to now call myself an alcoholic because I don't drink, and my friends aren't gonna like me, I'm gonna be boring, um I'm gonna be ostracized, I'm gonna have to do these 12 steps and create more, you know, reflections on all the things that I did wrong, all the people that I hurt.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: And don't get me wrong, like I think that that is a um there's some aspects, but for me it was really being able to now access the things that were deep inside of me that I was that I was hiding from, you know, my not realizing my full potential, um, not living my um best life, not following my dreams, you know, doing things that I did not want to be doing because societal conditioning told me that I had to be doing those things.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: So I've realized, I've come to realize that my drinking really was to almost dumb myself down, to ease the pain of not living my best life.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: And alcohol was feeding into that.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: It was slowing me down, it was weighing me down, it was depressing me, it was making me dumber.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like I was putting a substance into my body that I knew spiritually or you know, somewhere like, oh, it's causing me to not sleep well.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm sure this is impacting my liver.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm waking up at four o'clock, four ten every morning with this racy brain and horrific anxiety.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I just thought that's normal.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, everyone my age is not sleeping.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: We're all waking up with anxiety, you know, the state of our world is in complete disarray, and so of course I'm stressed.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I did not realize what fuckery alcohol was causing to my entire body, mind, and spirit.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: So of course I wasn't realizing my potential.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: Of course I was.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: Of course that of course I was not feeling energetic.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: Of course I was procrastinating, and my self-worth and my self-trust had fucking tank.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: Had tanked.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because every day that I didn't listen to my inner voice, didn't listen to my inner knowing, and would drink instead of realizing that hey, there's something better for me.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: I just didn't know.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: I did not know, and I I don't think that many people know.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: I think that we all are taught that if you don't drink, there's something wrong with you.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: You can't handle it.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: Look, everybody else is drinking.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: This clearly isn't the problem.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: The problem is you.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: If you aren't feeling good, if you aren't feeling your most energetic, loving, motivated self, then there's something wrong with you.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not alcohol's fault, it's your fault.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: And now you must be an alcoholic.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: The way that I the way that I was able to finally overcome this maddening psychosis, this maddening, this maddening systemic belief in our society that without alcohol, you have to live a life of punitive, go back to the back of the line.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you rub your nose in, you know, your addiction or your disease.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, there's something wrong with you, you can't handle your liquor.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I finally, finally realized this is bullshit.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: This is a lie.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: This substance changes the chemistry of my brain.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: It changes the way that my brain works.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: If you think about digestion, when we put food into our body, our bodies relatively have the same functionality with digestion.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it starts in the mouth with saliva and breaking down with, you know, the different um enzymes and and the processes in our body are relatively the same for most of us.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: For most of us, the process of digestion is relatively the same.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: The physiological and the physiological aspects of how our bodies break down food, process it, and release it.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's relatively the same, you know, but there are variances in it that do vary greatly between each human body.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: But we all have pretty much the same pieces and parts that do the same things.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's the same with alcohol.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: We all have a brain, we all have a central nervous system, we all have neurotransmitters, we all have these same processes that break down, that import process and break down alcohol in our systems.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: However, just like digestion, it manifests itself differently.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: And so, if anything, giving people the wherewithal to know that science plays a part in our processing of this substance, that it changes the physiological, it changes the physiological processing that our brain does.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: It changes the way that our neurotransmitters work.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: And so, regardless of how much you're drinking, whether it's one drink a week or five drinks a day, your body changes.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: The way your brain works changes.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: So when we think, oh, I've got a handle on this, and I don't have a drinking problem, um, I'm not an alcoholic, I can handle my life.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um, think again.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: Think again.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: Because there are actions that are a thousand percent out of your control, and how this alcohol impacts your body, you have zero control over.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: You have zero control.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm here to tell you that the suffering, the knowing that I ensued daily from knowing that I wasn't reaching my full potential, that that I was, that I was limiting myself, that I was creating the roadblock by choosing to put alcohol in my system because I chose to believe that it was actually helping me be more social, be more energetic, be more motivated.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: The suffering that I experienced.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: I knew that alcohol wasn't good for me, but I just didn't know how bad it was for me.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I truly believed that without it it would be worse.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: I am here to tell you that every single day since I have stopped drinking has gotten better and better and better and better.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I was probably one of the people that I truly bel I truly believed that without alcohol my life would be a miserable ex existence.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: I believed that alcohol would I believed that my life would be a miserable existence without alcohol.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm here to tell you that it's not.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: It has gotten better and better and better every single day.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: Every single day that I don't drink, I can feel my body repairing.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: I can feel my brain getting more.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: I can feel my brain firing.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: The synapses are connecting, they're firing.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm inspired, I feel connected to myself, I feel connected to the universe, and I feel so much more connected to the people around me.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: I remember my conversations.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'm engaged, I'm not checking out.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: My relationships have improved, my health has improved, my energy has improved, my sleep has improved.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: My life is so much better without alcohol.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: That misery, that worry, that dread, that anxiety, that underlying nagging has all stopped.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: Now, do I still experience stress?
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: Do I still experience obstacles and challenges?
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, I do.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: But you know who can handle it way better?
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: But you know what happens is I can handle it.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: I don't feel the need to disregard the power that I have inside of me by picking up a drink to wipe it all away, to take the stress out of it, because what that did was just prolong.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: It prolonged my problems, it prolonged the challenges.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: It didn't take them away, it didn't make them easier, it made them way more difficult, way more challenging.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so, if there's anything that I can share with you today, is that I promise you this is the one decision in your life that you will never regret.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: You will never look back and say, Oh my gosh, I wish that I had kept drinking.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: I wonder what my life would be like if I had kept drinking.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: I wonder if I would be more productive.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: I wonder if I would be more successful, I wonder if I would be more spiritually connected, I wonder if I would have more friends.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: I wonder if my love and romance and my connection with other humans would be better if I were be if I were to be drinking every day.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: You will never answer yes to any of those questions.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: This gray area of not being a full-blown alcoholic, that you're, you know, face down in the gutter, that you've gotten a DUI, that your life has completely fallen apart.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: So therefore, I'm not an alcoholic.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: My life is manageable, my life is actually relatively good.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: I have money in the bank, I have a job, I've got, you know, this, this.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: I'm living the dream.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm living the dream.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: And alcohol's not impacting any of that.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: If you truly when we believe this because that's what's told to us.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: This gray area of, you know, drinking and putting alcohol into our system, but still being able to live a manageable life.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: If I if I choose to give up alcohol, I then have to move to that other end of the spectrum to now be an addict, to be to have a disease, to be stigmatized, to be penalized, to be forced to live a life of boring, non-existent social life, that I'll just be hanging on every day, that I'm gonna have to use my willpower.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm here to tell you that willpower has nothing to do with it.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: It has nothing to do with it.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: It is a mindset shift.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's a mindset shift to knowing that I want to live my healthiest lifestyle, that I want to be on it, that I want my brain to be firing, that I want my relationships to be better, that I want my body to function properly, to be optimized, to be healthy, to be my synapses to be firing.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to the Journey Out of the Bottle podcast.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you enjoyed this episode.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_00: And for more information or to connect with me, please visit my website at www.journeyout of the bottle.com for coaching programs and tons of resources.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, you are not broken and you are not alone.