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I Choose...How To Be The Best Mother with Alyson Hannigan · I Choose Me with Jennie Garth

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garland. Hi. Everyone,
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is all about
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: the choices we make and where they lead us. My
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: guest today is known for her roles in Buffy the
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: Vampire Slayer, American Pie, and of course How I Met
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: your Mother. Mother's Day is this week and as a mom,
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: the conversation we're about to have is an important one.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: Please welcome Alison Hannigan to the podcast. Hello. Oh my gosh, Allison.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: I'm so happy to talk to you.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: This is thank you for talking to me.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: I've been a fan, of course, and you and I
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: both played these well known high school characters.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: And you in nice school.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: By the way, you filmed which one?
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: Buffy?
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: Buffy?
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: Which filmed it? Tolarrance?
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: Hi, Oh, that poor high school. They must have gotten
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: so sick of all us actors.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: I loved it, you do. But I think we like
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: we would walk around and we'd be like Dylan, Dylan,
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: where are you? Yeah?
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: Do you find that your fans are similar to mine
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: and they are often shocked that you're actually an adult
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: and you're in the fifty club now.
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: I mean, they're pretty polite but uh, what I find
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: sort of disconcerting is the like when it's somebody that
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: I'm like, well, maybe we're the same age, and they're like,
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: I was a little kid and I watched you, I
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: grew up on you, And I'm like.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: Oh, all right, yeah, yeah, have you gotten that, Oh
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: my mom loves you.
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: The other day I got my grandmother loves you, and
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, you can stop right there, thank you.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: That's interesting. My grandmother grew up with you that I'm
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: going to walk away, Well, don't gonna happen soon.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: I feel like you, yeah, will be forever frozen in
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: my mind as a teenager. And it's even it's weird
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: to me to say that because the same thing happens
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: to me, But I'm saying it to you because so true.
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: It's so true. But I'm just so grateful to have
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: been part of like several things that people still remember.
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: You know, it's hard to believe, but it's awesome.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: I love it. Have you ever been like out and
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: about in the real world or even at home and
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: caught yourself on a rerun or maybe even like at
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: the doctor's office, that'd be even better.
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, So you're just flipping the channels and I'm like, oh,
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: my goodness, flashback.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: I love it.
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: And then I'm like, do I even remember?
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: This? So true? It's so true. I also think that
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: many of the fans themselves, well, they see themselves in
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: the characters that you've portrayed. Has there ever, I'm curious,
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: has there ever been a character or a role that
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: helped you you better understand yourself?
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's a good question. I mean I think I've
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: played characters that I would aspire to be more like.
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: I mean, who wouldn't want to be more like Willow?
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: You know? But she's way smarter than I am, And boy,
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: could I use her computer skills, especially nowadays, right? That
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: would have been great? But you know, I feel like
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: I put a piece of me into every character, and
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: then maybe a piece of the character comes into me too.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: I'd like to hope the good parts. But yeah, it's
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: obviously it's that there's some of me in there, not
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: that good of an actress.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like the lines blur, Yeah, I love I kind
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: of love that because that means you're playing a really
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: genuine portrayal of something, and like it it feels authentic
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: because you are like putting yourself in that characters shoes.
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, yeah, definitely, especially with like emotional scenes, and yeah,
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: you know, I could always tell if if I would
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  Speaker 2: resonate with something, because like if I didn't have to
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: sort of dive deep into emotional trauma to get the emotions,
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: then I knew that I was in the right space
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: of a character.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: I'm loving this chapter of my life, this next chapter,
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  Speaker 1: I don't know, middle chapter. I don't know, what's your
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: favorite thing about being in your fifties because you're a
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: newly band club.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: I know, I know, I really I love the like
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  Speaker 2: just caring less about what everybody thinks. And you know,
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  Speaker 2: my new motto is like what other people think of
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  Speaker 2: me is none of my business. And you know, I
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: just it's like it's lovely if you you like me
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  Speaker 2: and stuff, but if you don't, okay, I'm not gonna
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  Speaker 2: hopefully it's not going to destroy me the way it
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: would have in my twin, you know, Like I just
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: so it's not like I mean, I'm still sensitive, but
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: I just I have my people that I love and
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  Speaker 2: I care about, and like their opinions are the ones
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: that matter. My family and my friends. Like I'm good,
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  Speaker 2: and I'm really happy and like you know, yes, they're things.
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  Speaker 2: Sure I would have been done differently, but in a
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: way at least I learned from them and grow And
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: I just always want to grow and and just be
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: grateful for my journey.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: You have a very good perspective. That's perfect. You said
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: you were a little more affected by other people's opinions
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: in your twenties, and I know, having gone through that
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: phase being in this industry, seeing all the things that
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: we saw in our early years and hearing all the
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: things we heard, how did you get through it all?
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: Like I I don't know how I got through it all.
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  Speaker 1: I'm just happy I did.
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: Yes, well, I think for you, I mean you blew
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: like you guys were everything everywhere. I feel like for me,
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: it was always like this slow burn. I was like
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: the little engine that could. But it wasn't like Buffy
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: wasn't an immediate hit out of the out of the gate.
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: And we certainly like we were on this strange network
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: where we were the only sort of critically acclaimed show
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: and like it, and you know when people just didn't understand,
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: like what do you mean Buffy the Vampire's Layer, It's
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: like no, it's much better than this, Like it sounds
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: it's really just check it out. Well, are you a
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: comedy or a drama? Like yeah, both. But I also
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: just think because it was before social media, like you
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: didn't know people were watching it. We filmed the entire
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: first season without it being aired, so it really was
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: a little bubble. And then and even with How I
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: Met Your Mother, it was similar because that, you know,
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: we we were always like on The Bubble Show for
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: like the first three seasons, like every year, we didn't
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: know if we were going to get picked up, and
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: there were much shinier shows that were getting all the attention.
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: And then we were just kind of like this slow build.
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: I think, you know, we got onto some airplanes, like
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: before you had all the choices on the airplane, and
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: we were on Netflix and that helped, and we just
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: kept slowly going and then like by the end of
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: the series, we're like, oh, people really watch us. I
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: remember we got picked up for like two seasons one year,
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  Speaker 2: and we're like we've made it. We're not a bubble
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: show anymore. But so so with you though, you were
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: just like you guys were like on Rolling Stone and
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: stuff like that, like it was just massive out of
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  Speaker 2: the gate, and I feel like we were under the radar,
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: so it might not have been as hard for me
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: it was maybe for you, But I'm projecting, but yeah,
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  Speaker 2: I don't know. I just I feel like I also
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: grew up as sort of like a struggling kid actor,
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: so I knew how like fleeting everything was so so
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: that never left my perspective. So I was always grateful
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  Speaker 2: to be working and and you worked hard, yes, yes,
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  Speaker 2: And I was very lucky in the projects that I
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: got to work on too. So I don't know. I
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  Speaker 2: feel like gratitude has always been my friend.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's the best thing to go back to
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  Speaker 1: every time you're struggling. I feel like, yeah, I.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: Always tell my daughter's gratitude not attitude of hearing that.
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  Speaker 2: I'm sure it'll sink it.
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  Speaker 1: You have teenage daughters.
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  Speaker 2: I do. I have a sixteen year old and an
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: almost thirteen year old.
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  Speaker 1: What did they think? Have they seen one time at
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: band camp?
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  Speaker 2: No? And I hope they never do. But if they,
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  Speaker 2: they better not tell me that they have. And I
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: don't think they will want to. So that is one
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: thing that you know, I love having open dialogue and
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: communication with them, but maybe not for that, just maybe
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  Speaker 2: not that I've just told them don't ever watch it.
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  Speaker 2: Oh my god, just trust me, you don't want to
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  Speaker 2: see it.
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  Speaker 1: They will absolutely watch it. I'm just gonna prep you
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  Speaker 1: for that.
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  Speaker 2: I'm sure, But maybe not, Maybe I don't. They don't
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  Speaker 2: actually want to watch my stuff because they saw their
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: dad in a video where he was flirting with He
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: was like seventeen. It was a George Harrison video and
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: he was like flirting with a girl, and they almost
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: before the video was done, they said, Okay, I don't
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: want to watch anything you've done. Mom. I don't want
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: to see you with somebody else, because they do. They
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: don't see alert with somebody and he was like seventeen,
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: he was a baby.
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  Speaker 1: Every time they see me doing like a makeout scene
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: from that from that time, they're like, oh, they just
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: hate watching it.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean they don't even like, like when my
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: husband and I are affectionate to each other, they're just like, oh,
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  Speaker 2: can you imagine, like you know, seeing me with married
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  Speaker 2: to someone else.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. Yeah, this is Mother's Day Week. Do
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: you think that like your maybe your relationship with your
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: mom has changed your perspective now on how you treated her,
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: what she had to endure.
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: I mean, I was a great kid. Fifteen wasn't great,
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: but I was moody. But you know, I've learned so
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: much being a parent, and it's just they teach me
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  Speaker 2: every day and it's so incredible. I was an only child,
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: and to have two daughters to watch siblings and that dynamic.
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  Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm still grieving the loss of not having
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: a sibling because I desperately wanted that when I was
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: growing up. So it's nice to get to sort of
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: see it through them, even the hard parts. But I'm
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: learning so much as well.
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: When you had your first daughter, where you're like, I
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: definitely want to have a sibling for her. Did you
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: plan that?
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  Speaker 2: Oh yeah. I always was like, at least two, I
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: have to because.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: They have to have somebody.
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I did not like being an only child, so
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: so for me, I was like, Nope, getting a sibling.
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: That's good. I love the relationship that my daughters have
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: with one another. I don't love it all the time
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: because sometimes it gets a little crazy up in here,
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: all these girls and the hormones flowing. But I still
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: love that they have each other forever. Absolutely, I'm curious
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: about your campaign that you're a part of Asked to
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: be Sure. I want to know more about this.
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: Yes, so asked to be Sure and asked to be
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: Sure dot com with the two and the bee the
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: letter B Yes, I partnered with GSK two to raise
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: awareness to ask to be Sure, which is a health
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: awareness campaign for me.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: Ninja someone is also known as meningitis ningitis. What the
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: heck is that? And why do we have to be
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: worried about it?
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: Well, so, it's an uncommon but very serious illness that
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: can have just life altering consequences, even death, and sometimes
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: as fast as like within twenty four hours. So this
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: campaign really encourages parents, particularly with kids sixteen to twenty three,
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: because that's the most prevalent age group because of their
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: behaviors of like like some kids going off to college
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: and living in close quarters or sharing lip gloss or
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: drinks or kissing, you know, all of these behaviors that
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: are perfectly normal, but that is sort of the most
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: dangerous age range. So this encourages you to talk to
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: your doctors to make sure it hasn't slipped through the
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: cracks because some people are like because there's meningitis vaccines
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: for ab C W and Y often gets overlooked because
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: it's a separate vaccine. And so you really just were
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: encouraging people to go ask the questions to your kids doctors.
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: When I did, it was so informative and there was
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: so much I didn't know. Obviously I'm not a doctor,
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: but like she explained it in such a way. You know,
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: what's really worrisome about this is that the fact that
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: the first person that develops meningitis, it's it's the symptoms
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: are just every day, like, oh, you're just getting sick.
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: Like in fact, a friend of mine had like the
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: star quarterback on the high school football team, just athlete
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: of the year and all the things. He went home
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: with a headache and he died the next day. Because
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: I know, and it's just And I had this the
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: opportunity to meet with survivors and families that have been affected,
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: and it was so overwhelming and so emotional. I'm so
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: grateful that they're sharing their stories. As hard as I mean,
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: it burst into tears. How can you not, But it's
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: so wonderful that they're sharing their stories because it is
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: something I hadn't real I wasn't really aware of.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: Right, because I kind of think like I did the
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: things I was supposed to do when they were little,
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: even if I wasn't even sure about it. But I
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: kind of just stood what the doctor told me. And
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: then you think when they're you know, you think you're
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: done with all of that and that there's no more
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: to do. Is there something when you do go to
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: the doctor and you talk about it and you ask
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: the questions, is this something that they can test your
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: child for before they get the vaccine?
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: Look, I'm not a doctor. Why I'm just saying, hey,
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: go please ask your doctor. But they will break it down,
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: you know, because because obviously you're hoping that the doctors
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: are going to tell you everything you ever need to know,
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: but like they they if you don't ask about certain things,
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: they might not bring it up. So that's why I
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: asked to be sure. Is in encouraging parents to empower
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: them to go and ask their doctors about you know,
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: are you okay all the things, all the doctory things. Yes,
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: I haven't even played a doctor.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: I haven't either. I'm not sure I could do it
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: with all the words you.
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: Heard me try to say me Ninja cockle, right, you
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: take it practically? Yeah?
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: Wait, okay, so I'm assuming that on the website asked
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: to be sure dot com. Yes, I am assuming that
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: there are lists of questions you should go into the
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: doctor with. Are things you could go in there and
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: ask about.
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes, And we're just encouraging because the more knowledge
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: you have, the more you can make the right decision
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: for your families and just raise awareness of something that
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: you're like, wait, did I was? I am? I are?
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: We okay? Like you know, it's just it's always just
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: good to have other people helping you not miss anything
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: and super important you know, that could be you know,
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: life impacting.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: I'm definitely going to check it out, and I hope
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: that all of our listeners do too, because it's really
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: really important, especially that age when they're just so excited
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: about starting their life. I have a daughter who is
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: chronically ill, and she's just a constant thing with her
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: throat and with her energy level, and we you know,
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: we've gotten so many tests mono and strip and all
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: the tests. I'm going to go in there and talk
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: about what other things I need to know.
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: Yes, absolutely, communication, especially with your doctor is the most
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: important thing.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, as a mom, do you believe that we need
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: to allow our girls to learn life's sometimes really hard lessons?
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: Are are you a little bit more like me? And
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: want to help them with every hardship they ever come upon.
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: Look, I definitely if I could take away any and
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: all of their pain, I would, But I also so
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: the hardest thing for me, I think when they were
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: little was the people people always encouraged us not to
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: react when they fell, and because then they look at
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: you and you're like and then they just burst into tears.
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: That was so hard for me because of course every
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: fiber of my being was like did they get hurt?
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: But like once I like like really practiced like just
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: and I didn't want to also like say you're okay,
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: Like I'm not going to tell you how like you
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: tell me are you hurt? And then we'll react after that.
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: But and when I saw that when I actually could
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: like did it in practice, and it was the right
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: thing to do because then she could like either get
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: back up and go on with whatever she was doing,
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: or she was hurt and she needed like Okay, now
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: it's the scrape booboo and we go fix you and like,
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: but it was it was her reaction rather than like
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: me overreacting, which I can definitely that was my instinct.
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: But so so I think in a sense there's always that, like,
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: you know.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: If somebody was mean, oh, do you need me to
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: call their parents? I still want to do that all
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: the time. Yeah, should I talk to them? I can
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: call that kid or maybe his dad or whatever. Like,
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: let me know.
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: I do get very mama bear where I'm just like
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: in the parking lot, I'll see them walking, you mean
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: to my baby, just give them a side with my
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: sunglasses on. I'm a total jerk. But and by the way,
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: the kids are like so over it, and they're just
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: like and I'm like, but.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: Have you had to handle like heartbreak yet and all
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: the feelings of young teenage girls.
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: Luckily no, My my older daughter has this lovely boyfriend.
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: They almost like at a year, which I'm like for
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: high school, like that's like impressive, so you know, and
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: obviously navigate through like oh, disappointments or whatever. But no,
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: they there hasn't been the the super heartbreak yet. Yeah,
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: I mean there's been like friendship dramas and stuff, and
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: that's been you know, it's so hard not to it's
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: also hard not to like go on and on and
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: on about it, like, you know, because I would talk
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: to the end of the world with them, like about
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: anything they wanted to talk to. So so I've got
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: to navigate like just saying enough but not making it feel.
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: Like it's like sure, yeah.
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: And they don't want to come to me because they're like,
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: I just don't have the time. I know.
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: It's really there's so many like little balancing acts that
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: we have to do as moms. I think of teenagers,
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: I mean just kids in general. It's really hard. I
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: always say I would rather take care of my three
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: little girls and diapers and just like all of that
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: and what it takes to raise them as young women
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: and as they get older, like there's just it's like
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: an emotional warfare you have to.
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: Teach teach that roller coaster. I kept fifteen was rough
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: and that was my worst teenage year too as well.
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: But there's a lot of eye rolling and a lot
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: of where's that person that I used to know? But
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: I just kept reminding myself. I even told her at
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: one point, I was like, these are the years you
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: were going to apologize for later, And you know what,
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: she already did. She wrote the most beautiful email parents
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: could ever read, because she went away and she sort
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: of saw somebody else exhibiting that typical teenage angsty behavior
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: and how it kind of was a nuisance for everyone
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: around them, And she wrote this lovely email of like,
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry for every eye roll, and I really that's amazing. Yeah,
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: so you're back. Really was a profound experience for her.
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: So I felt like, you know, this came like decades
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: before I thought it would.
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, I feel like that is the best feeling
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: when you see that they have that emotional intelligence and
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: they're able to like acknowledge their mistakes. Sometimes they learn
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: so much more because they've worked through it themselves and
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: they yeah.
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: They And I do think kids in general nowadays have
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: that way more than than I certainly had when I
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: was their age.
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, me too.
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just it's it's more in the ether.
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: But it's yeah, it's just really hard not to hurt
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: for your kids when something bad happens to them.
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: I know. But like even for like when they were young,
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: it was you know, like I said to my daughters,
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: I'm like, you know, the sad days make the happier
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: days happier, like the happy days happier because you know,
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: you can't, like you can't grow a rose without fertilizer.
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: So it's just you can't have a life with It's
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: like if you were always happy, you would never know
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: you're happy.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: That's true. Yeah, I'm all. I'm a feelings person. I
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: have talked about it before. I've been told I'm too
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: emotional by certain people in my past or like dramatic
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: or emotional, and I was like, yeah, i am dramatic
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: because that's what I do for a living. But I'm
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: not too emotional. I'm actually emotion full and.
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: I'm proud of it. Oh I like that.
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: Yet, don't let anyone tell you're too emotional.
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: Just don't accept that anybody's sensitive. Oh I got that
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: all the time. And you know what, it's also what
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: makes me, you know, be able to feel as much
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: as I do and and and give as much as
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: I give, and so it's it's an asset.
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: How are you celebrating Mother's Day this year?
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: Well, I'm going to go home because I'm in New
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: York right now, so I'll go tomorrow and then just
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: be with my babies. And I don't know what they
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: have planned, but but it'll just be great.
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: I love it that they are at an age now
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: where they start to think, oh, it's Mother's Day, what
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: are we going to do? And they start to plan
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: it together.
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: My younger daughter was like, Mom, will you do you
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: have a flat iron? Will you just send me ones
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: you would like? I mean, you know, just But pretty
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: soon I was like.
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: Hey, you're getting a flat iron for Mother's Day.
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: Well then she was like, I think it's better if
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: you just buy it. I'm like, oh no, because we
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: both borrow my sixteen year old's flat iron.
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, well I had one until she took it. Yeah,
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: and then.
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: One exactly exactly, and she's got beautiful curly I'm like,
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: stop straightening it. I paid money to get that girl.
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: I sat in a makeup chair for hours getting those.
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: I guess. Do you think either of them wants to
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: be a little actress?
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: My younger one does and I and it's it's we
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: are like constantly talking her out of it or trying
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: to look if she really wanted to do it, I would,
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: of course. I'll support whatever they want to do. But
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: the thing is when we question her on why she
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: wants it. She does not give the right answers.
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: What's her answer?
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: She wants to be she loves going to a red carpet,
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: and she wants to be famous, can meet other famous people.
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, yeah, well you can do it that way.
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: Now, I guess you could. I guess you could. But
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: but I'm.
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: Curious though, like, why would you not want her to
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: become an actress.
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: I just don't want it now. I want her to
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: just have the childhood. I feel like, I, you know,
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: she's she's got so much going for her, and she's
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: you know, she is good at most everything that she tries,
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: which is a good and bad thing. But I just
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: feel like I just want her to be well rounded.
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: And then if she decides later on that that is
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: a passion of hers, like for the right reason, then great,
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: I am all for it, and I will support you.
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: And we've got your room ready for you when when
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: you're on like your one hundredth audition and haven't booked anything,
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: or you know, or maybe it'll be better. But I
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: just feel like she's she's a kid, and she should
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: be a kid, and she doesn't need to like go
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: into the room and like be told she's like too
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: tall or not tall enough for this or that or not,
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: like you know, all the things. And maybe they don't
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: do that anymore, Like they don't just tell you all
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: these horrible things about.
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: You wait until you leave the room.
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like maybe the agents know not to tell you
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: as a child anymore. But that was not my experience.
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: So and and she's just she's a great kid, and
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: I just don't want her to ruin her.
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: We know too much. Yeah, as moms who have done it.
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and we're like, hey, yeah, go be in that
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: acting at school, go be in the school play and
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: do all this. And she's not doing that. So it's
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: not her passion.
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like she's too afraid.
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah she Well, it just she's got so many things
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: she wants to do, so let's focus the volleyball and
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: basketball and all the other things.
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: Like, well you can all the things I didn't get
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: to do, right, Oh my gosh. Okay, Well, I've loved
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: having you here. But before I let you go, Alison Hangan,
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: what was your last I choose me moment?
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: Oh? I think it was coming to New York two
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: days early. Not just I got to see some friends,
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: do some shopping, I did shop for my daughter's birthday,
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: so technically, but but it was very like indulgent of me,
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: like all right, honey, my I'll see you, and and
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: we're like getting work done in the house, like they're painting.
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: And they were perfect tile. The day I left, they
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: started like jackhammering tile. It was awful apparently, and we
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: have puppies and they couldn't go out, and it was
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: so I left just you.
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: Did, maybe you extend your trip just a little.
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: Well, they weren't Mother's Day.
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: Well, thank you for bringing this information to all us.
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: Thank you for sharing that. You be sure to be
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: number B letter sure dot com.
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: And everybody can use our show notes to find how
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: to access that. But thank you so much for spending
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: time on.
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: Us today as you and happy Mother's Day you two,
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: you all right and you have a great king.
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: Hey bye h