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Balancing Life's Buckets with Laughter and Perspective · Eye Opener Society

• 0:00
  Hi, everyone. Welcome back to Eye Opener Society. And thank you again for tuning
• 0:05
  in. It's so nice to have you sitting here with us.
• 0:08
  For most of you who heard our last episode, definitely was a little bit more
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  powerful than it normally is.
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  And definitely a lot of cursing and everything else.
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  But, you know, as a sign of the times, that's what happens. You're fine there, Jennifer.
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  We have to, at times, understand that we have a reason behind everything we say, everything we do.
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  And as intense as that was, this time around, I have to say that I'm looking
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  at things in a different perspective and that's how I like to live my life.
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  And I'm sitting here thinking like, you know what?
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  I may be a victim of all this nonsense that's going on, but I need to understand
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  that I have to see it from a different perspective Instead of cowering in a corner somewhere,
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  worrying about every single thing coming at me, I'm just taking it as a cruel
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  joke and I'm taking it now as a joke.
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  And I'm going to explain that a little bit more. Of course, I have Jennifer
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  Miller, my lovely assistant here. So welcome back to the show.
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  Hi, I'm going to apologize first for ranting and cursing. No, no, we never. much.
• 1:19
  Listen, I know you're kind of new as a co-host, but yeah, when Hannah and I
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  would do this, we are completely unedited.
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  I don't mind using foul language. I just don't use it as a way to garner any
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  kind of certain attention.
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  But you speak your mind, you speak it as is. I don't believe in editing.
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  I don't believe in censorship.
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  So speak out and speak freely. That's what I you know surely believe and so
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  let let me say this so let me start it out like this jen um.
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  I'm looking at life now like, holy crap, I got a lot of nonsense I got to deal with.
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  And it's definitely put me in a bad place. It has. And I'm not going to say
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  I'm no longer in the bad place. I'm looking at it differently.
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  I'm saying, yeah, this is a cruel joke that has been played on me.
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  And I'm going to ride it out like a joke for the simple fact that I got to look at it humorously.
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  And I think it makes me feel better and it helps me deal with it better.
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  If I'm just looking at it as a joke. Yeah.
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  Cruel joke, yes. Joke, yes.
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  And I'm like, just looking at myself as a victim. And, you know,
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  that self-depreciating humor, I guess, is what's going to get me through this.
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  Do you understand anything of what I'm saying?
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  No, I do. I do. I mean, you do. You do got to do stuff to make yourself feel better.
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  I mean, you do what you got to do with that. I
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  mean and the whole fact of you know
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  trying to look at it like in a humorous way I mean that's good I mean changing
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  your perspective and not always thinking things are going to be like this way
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  The entire time and it's going to be miserable forever I mean that's that's
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  a positive like that's That's not someone who's set up camp in a negative place, you know Um,
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  Honestly, I don't know Every time I go through something I it's never the same
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  Nothing is ever Like for a surefire
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  Way to fix something for myself It's always something different So,
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  I say hey you're doing the best you can I mean like you've been through a lot.
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  Like I told you on the text Like you know You have every right to go Get primal
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  and crazy Go out in the woods and scream And do whatever you need to Because
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  like you've been through it You've been through a lot of,
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  things that were not,
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  you're you're doing like you didn't just you know go out
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  and mess some stuff up but right and i
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  think too like what you're saying yeah i can still go primal
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  if i want and i can still find that
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  moment to cry if i need to but ultimately i
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  need to find what's going to be the most comfortable and most effective to deal
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  with all this and i'm just looking at it again yeah it's humorous like i told
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  my wife because she's always saying hey we're broke we're poor and i'm like
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  you know what we always have been. I always have been. I grew up poor.
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  Are you new poor or are you old poor? Like you said, you grew up poor.
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  So yeah, I'm going to say old poor.
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  I'm definitely old poor. I mean, I had gone through one aspect of my life where
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  I was pretty much set and that was through my first marriage because she had
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  money and I've experienced that.
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  And if I go back to that time, I didn't like it. I didn't like it at all simply
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  because everything was materialistic.
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  There was no real you know passion
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  about anything it it dealt with money and have the
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  money and we could just go out and buy it now will i
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  turn down you know to have
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  so much damn money to be so filthy stinking rich no i won't
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  turn that down i i gotta say yeah
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  i've been through so many struggles you
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  know what that money and people say money always
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  creates more problems and i don't believe that for a second i think
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  it solves every single fucking problem there
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  is i really do believe so any problem
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  you just throw money at it as long as you have enough does that
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  make you a better person and listen no that's funny i'm going i'm sitting here
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  i start you know thinking back uh hannah and i did an episode about that where
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  we're talking about like millionaires and all why do we hate them so much like
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  some of them they've earned it they've worked for it they got their money.
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  Why do we need to judge somebody just because they have more money?
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  They're the ones that are donating the most to charities.
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  Do they really mean to? No, because most of the time their accountants are saying,
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  you've got too much money. You have to donate it. This way we could get tax breaks.
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  Even still, money's going to someplace charitable.
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  So we don't need to sit here and hate or blame anybody, anybody that's poor,
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  anybody that's rich, anybody that's middle class.
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  We don't need to do it. We just have to accept that money is what's moving the world.
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  Unfortunately, it's not nice, but that's the perspective I want to take.
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  Hey, listen, if that's the case and I'm poor and I fit into the poor category,
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  so be it. There's not much else that I can do.
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  I just have to accept it. And if it keeps coming up, well, I'm the brunt of
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  the joke and I'm fine with that.
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  I can understand that the reason i brought are
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  you old poor or new poor up because you said about humor
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  and you want to look at everything humorous well it's
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  always sunny in philadelphia there's an episode where they're trying
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  to survive he's like we're old poor we'll be fine they're
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  new poor they don't know what's going on and you
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  know that's why i said that just to bring some humor i thought maybe
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  you'd get the joke but another thing
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  with the money like i kind of agree like i don't think money
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  um is i don't
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  think it's the root to all evil and i don't think it solves everything per
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  se but i think it makes life fun i
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  mean you can buy your toys you know freely you
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  don't have to worry about certain things so that makes you happy being like
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  super rich and i would buy those things and i don't know i don't know anyone
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  that it wouldn't make happy you know yeah everybody would be like woohoo but
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  uh oh i know i know when you said that you know what you do with your money
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  if you were filthy rich. I do too.
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  People would know. There would be signs. I would have a ton of freaking baby
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  miniature goats all over the place.
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  I'd be doing ridiculous stuff. I definitely would. Right. There's nothing wrong with that.
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  Like I said, it's just as long as you're good, as long as you're happy and you're
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  not doing anything bad about it, then you know what?
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  Why not be filthy rich? I think i'll be perfectly fine with that yeah yeah yeah
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  like i said i know what i would buy i have a list.
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  I mean and i think it would really push myself to
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  be happy happier because i'm not like unhappy and
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  you know like what i said i feel for you you know
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  you've been hit with like so much stuff
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  i mean honestly it has
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  to be a cruel joke from the universe because if you think about it was like bap
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  bap bap bap right right just continuously bad
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  stuff and like i said you know i think you have
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  the right to go out be primal feel how you feel you
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  know eventually you'll find you'll
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  find a way like that's just you feel purely you know in the right place right
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  direction and and just at peace with yourself just you know like it's the ebbs
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  and flows of life we have these things that just sometimes happen continuously for a while.
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  Yeah, I like that. That makes a lot of sense to me. It even makes me feel at
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  ease too because sometimes you lose focus about that.
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  As much as I could sit here and preach to everybody, sometimes once you're going
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  through that bad thing, yeah, you definitely start to lose that direction and
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  you forget about it. And it's not through anybody's fault.
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  It just happens and you get thrown off course.
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  It does and you know what also messes with your essence too because you have
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  that like self you have your center You know yourself really well Like,
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  you know, especially with you with your meditation.
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  I mean, come on like you have that center Bad stuff happens.
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  It will mess with that center and you'll feel uneasy. You'll feel doubt You
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  know, you won't feel so certain with the choices that you make like oh,
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  is this going to be like the right move?
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  And then you sit on that and it sets you sometimes in
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  a bad direction if you can look at like the way you're
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  looking at it like you know that the humor part is going to bring you
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  comfort hell yeah do that like just
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  keep your essence and self kind of centered and know
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  that this is just like an ebb and flow of life like bad
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  stuff does happen but then comes good stuff or you know maybe math kind of stuff
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  i mean that's not bad like i would take math any day any day yeah and i think
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  to reach that plateau of extreme bliss i mean it's achievable.
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  And it's a lot of work it is there's a lot of work to get there so yeah just
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  to take it at that lower level at first and accept it and say wow i'm very thankful
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  for this and then your life can you know you can climb those steps from there yeah right yeah,
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  i think yeah like that's a good way to look at it i mean
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  that's a really good way to look at it you know
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  just like leveling up like you know i
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  want to be at this level like set a goal like i want to be at this level
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  at this time and even if you don't get there you
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  can always go back and you know rearrange some things and be
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  like you know i was busy this day
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  or you know there was a couple things going on so i wasn't able to
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  do and get to where i wanted to be like
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  don't lose focus like tenacity stay with it right
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  you know yeah definitely that's definitely the idea yeah yeah and that's why
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  i try to express too to people it's just like yeah if you take all of the bad
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  things that are going on in your life and just putting it into a bucket or whatever
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  and then taking all of the good things that you have going on and put it into
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  a different bucket and weigh it.
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  And if it's leaning towards the negative well
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  it's time to remove even just a couple of things i you
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  know if you can't dump it all out just remove a couple things out
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  of that basket kind of level it out because even if
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  you're on just a level playing field you're still moving ahead
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  you know it's easy yeah if
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  you remove just one thing something
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  achievable it could balance it out yeah
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  so this is it's that
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  just made me think of something did it go go for it so so
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  like when i went to that sweat lodge right i was telling you about that and
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  you know you say about removing things like i
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  think about like this i was there and they asked why you're there and i
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  was like you know i started thinking i'm like i'm
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  here because i want to remove things that no longer serve me
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  a good purpose in my life at all right and they
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  like were shaking their head like they really they knew what i was talking
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  about you could just see it on their faces like that's all
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  i needed to say and it was just like i got
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  you i know what you mean so when you're saying remove stuff like that really
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  that really resonates with me like i really i totally i agree with that like
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  that flows i mean i when you can do stuff like that it it is a game changer like it really.
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  Even immediately when you realize that
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  before you even start making the moves it just relief like that's like the biggest
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  thing right there and once you get that you can just start thinking clearly
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  and go straight forward with whatever you need to do was like a clear conscious
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  you know like you feel great it works so what you just said there like.
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  Yes. Yes. Yeah.
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  I'm glad it resonated because I'm hoping this resonates to pretty much anybody
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  that's listening, but you do have to understand that it is a mindset and it's
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  up to you to actually do that.
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  You know, I can't come to you and say, okay, I'm going to fix your problems.
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  Fix them just like that. Two baskets, you know, and you can just do it by writing things down.
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  Okay. What am I, you know, what's making me happy?
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  What's making me sad with that list? okay and
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  again if that negative list is longer then
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  look at the things that are immediately achievable and
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  remove those and yeah you're going to balance and
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  then it makes it easier because now oh i just felt lighter i
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  feel better now now you got to know the positive something else
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  to go in that positive and you're going to tilt the scales to the better you
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  know yourself so yeah i'm glad you're seeing
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  you know what i was trying to do and i hope other people
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  can see the same thing i mean i got
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  kind of what you were saying when we were like texting and i was
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  like you know i think i know where this is going i'm like
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  this is good this is this is gonna be good but now
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  like with this like that's not where i thought it was going like
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  this is like this is this good this is better i was like you know i just yeah
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  much better i have so many thoughts and i don't know where i'm going half the
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  time so i it's just me too yeah that's why when i text you hey listen let's
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  get on the air because I just have this idea that's going on, but I didn't focus it.
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  But I just wanted to spill it out because as soon as I started to change that
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  perspective, I started to feel better.
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  And I said, this would be great now to record something while it's still fresh in my mind.
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  And it's something I can start living on from here on out.
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  Am I going to run into bad things? Yeah, more likely I'm probably going to be
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  running into more bad things, but it's going to be easier to handle at this point.
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  And that's what I'm hoping. I'm just hoping to make things easier instead of
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  just feeling so damn anxious about everything all the damn time.
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  So, hey, do I know I got to go file my taxes and, you know, give all of my life
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  over to the government? Yeah.
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  But you know what? That's the joke of it. You know, again, it's a joke that
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  we have to do this as human beings, but it's got to be done.
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  Is it going to make me further in debt?
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  Yes. Did I put myself further in debt? No, that's outside. So I have no real control over that.
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  Me as a single person, we don't have any. We need to come together again as
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  a huge, every single person on the planet needs to come together.
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  But we don't because we don't have that cohesiveness.
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  So it's up to us as individuals to play those games and trying to make ourselves
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  feel better about doing things that we don't want to do.
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  Do you sometimes feel like when you think like i'm gonna do what I need to do and um.
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  Just who gives a shit if people don't like it. Do you ever feel like sometimes
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  like you might be like messing somebody else's life up?
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  Sometimes I think about that. Like, am I causing problems for them,
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  like doing what I want to do? And do I care?
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  I mean, to an extent, yes, but to an extent, no, because I'm living my life for me. Right.
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  And sometimes I think about that stuff. I just wonder if other people sometimes
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  like that just pops in their head, you know, when they're trying to work on
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  themselves and work towards better things for themselves.
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  Like, you know, it's just my brain. Things just pop in there occasionally.
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  Well, you have a legitimate question because we universally,
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  cosmically, we're all connected.
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  We're all coming from that same source. And so, yeah, anything that you do is
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  definitely affecting everybody else around you.
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  So yes you definitely but are
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  you really wrecking somebody if you know that
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  you're wrecking somebody's life then well a lot of people yeah you're
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  now you know what you're doing and if you're not changing anything yeah you
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  i would say it's more of a problem but if you're focusing on yourself to make
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  your life better i don't think you're really because i'll put it to you this
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  way If you do what's making you happy and you become happy,
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  that happiness spreads to the people around you and it makes other people happy.
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  So always. But isn't there certain situations that would cause like,
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  okay, this has nothing to do with me.
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  I'm going to repeat, nothing to do with me.
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  Okay, we'll ignore everything about you. Let's just say, like,
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  you know, like just a married couple, like the one person is just blissfully happy,
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  going about their day, but the other partner is not happy about certain things, right?
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  So they try to discuss it, it doesn't work. So they just think,
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  oh, well, I'm going to go off and do what I want to do, whether that be like
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  cheat or do something that's going to upset their partner and they know that's going to.
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  Like that i mean that's a different situation right
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  you know what i mean like there's different situations to
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  your happiness yeah or
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  doing what you want to do to make yourself happy do you
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  know what you're saying you're really
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  in another category all together though with
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  that and oh gosh i can't even begin to
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  tell you the episodes i'm gonna have with hannah once she comes back into
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  this and she's able to talk because believe me I think it's going to answer
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  so many questions but when it comes to things like that you're in a situation
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  now this isn't about fixing your life but if you're in a situation whether it
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  be a relationship or something that you need to get out of or you're not happy in,
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  Yeah, sometimes staying makes things worse. Sometimes leaving makes things worse.
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  It's all going to depend on the situation, and there's a lot.
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  I was kind of more just like using that as like an example for,
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  you know, doing your own thing and fuck everyone else if they're not happy with it.
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  I mean, maybe that was a really bad example. Maybe I should have used like people
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  studying or something and like a classroom type of thing. Okay.
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  It was more just like situational. like you know there's always different situations
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  where sometimes like you should consider other people around you too not just
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  yourself going forward if that makes sense it does make sense forward and working
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  on being happy i mean not that you can't be happy with certain things but like.
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  You know things you know that are going to be a faster gratification or um maybe
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  something that's more satisfying for your your journey like to be happy i think
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  yeah i think i could sum up Which is saying,
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  if it's going to make me happy to have more money and to get more money,
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  I'm going to rob the people around me.
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  That makes me happy, but it's going to destroy everybody else around me.
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  That's kind of where I was going at that. I think the relationship thing was
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  like the dumbest thing I could have probably brought up. I was just trying to
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  think of something that would really like show like how it would affect other people in a way.
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  Because, you know, people really focus on cheating as being something that really
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  affects a person. And so I was trying to just use something more of like a,
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  but yeah, like the bank thing.
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  Yeah. You lose all your life savings. I mean, that's going to be heartbreak,
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  hardship, you know, not good.
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  Right. And the person that did it, you know, like, Hey, I got that money. I got where, you know.
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  Right. So, you know, that's what I was going on with that example.
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  Yeah. And that's the same as scammers. That's not, you're fine.
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  No, it's the same thing with scammers. Scammers are going to make themselves
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  happy by stealing all this money.
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  But at the same time, they're going to ruin other people's lives.
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  So, yeah, we do, again, cosmically, we're all connected. Everything that we
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  do, everything we change about us is going to affect everybody else.
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  But if you're making yourself happy in a regular way that don't hurt others,
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  you're now happy and that happiness can spread on everybody else.
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  Yeah, but I was more alone. I was using all this stupid stuff.
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  But I think there is situational things where other people need to be considered
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  before they're doing exactly what you want to do. And that's kind of basically what I was saying.
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  But, you know, you did it a lot better. You said it a lot better.
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  Me, I get stuck in my head and I just start, you know, trying to think creatively
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  how to present something.
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  And sometimes it just. sometimes it don't work
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  and that's okay that's okay it happens that's
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  why i wanted that's why i wanted to jump and do this episode real
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  quick because in about four or five hours i
• 21:44
  will lose everything that i wanted to talk about so that's why
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  i wanted to do it um but i think that's the message i got out there and i do
• 21:51
  appreciate you joining me for this and i appreciate everybody for tuning in
• 21:55
  um hopefully this episode too does help you as well uh because yeah the one
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  thing i learned everybody's going through this.
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  Everybody's going through this challenge some worse than others.
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  And that's why I'm saying I might not be in the worst place somebody else is.
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  So I just want everybody to be happy and is to be as happy as you possibly can.
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  And I wish everybody, you know, all the best luck, love, everything else that you want out of life.
• 22:25
  Absorb it all in and make it your own. And Jennifer Miller, I thank you absolutely
• 22:30
  for being here and we'll see everybody on the next episode. Thanks again.