Latest / Be It Till You See It / 751. Carve Out Space to Architect Your Ambition

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751. Carve Out Space to Architect Your Ambition · Be It Till You See It

0:00
[SPEAKER_01]: Time is not found.
0:01
[SPEAKER_01]: Time is made.
0:03
[SPEAKER_01]: And we make the time for what is important to us.
0:06
[SPEAKER_01]: And so first it just starts with having a really hard conversation with yourself which is how important is this because if you look at your calendar and it will tell you what your priorities are.
0:16
[SPEAKER_02]: Welcome to the Beat till you see it podcast, where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring.
0:24
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm also Logan, Ply's instructor, and fitness business coach.
0:27
[SPEAKER_02]: I've trained thousands of people around the world, and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt.
0:35
[SPEAKER_02]: My friends, action brings clarity, and it's the antidote to fear.
0:42
[SPEAKER_02]: Each week my guests will bring bold, executable, intrinsic, and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and be it until you see it.
0:52
[SPEAKER_02]: It's a practice, not a perfect, let's get started.
0:59
[SPEAKER_02]: be it babe, get ready.
1:01
[SPEAKER_03]: This conversation is so fun.
1:03
[SPEAKER_03]: It's to a gregarious introverts talking about how you can be a tell you see it in the best way.
1:10
[SPEAKER_03]: Get out of your own way, manage your time.
1:12
[SPEAKER_03]: It's so fun.
1:13
[SPEAKER_03]: If you have ever been someone who says, I don't have time for that.
1:16
[SPEAKER_03]: This is the conversation you have to listen to.
1:19
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm super, super excited about this.
1:20
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm so glad this gets an eye met.
1:22
[SPEAKER_03]: I can't even wait to hang out with her again.
1:24
[SPEAKER_03]: And I'm excited for you to get all these gems.
1:27
[SPEAKER_03]: So here is Lacey Newman.
1:28
[SPEAKER_03]: All right, be it babe.
1:29
[SPEAKER_03]: This is going to be a lot of fun.
1:31
[SPEAKER_03]: Our guests and I can tell first of all we have a mutual friend who's already been on the podcast.
1:34
[SPEAKER_03]: So we are going to be fast friends.
1:36
[SPEAKER_03]: And this is going to be an awesome conversation.
1:38
[SPEAKER_03]: It's going to inspire you to take some action.
1:40
[SPEAKER_03]: Lacy Newman.
1:40
[SPEAKER_03]: Thanks for being here.
1:41
[SPEAKER_03]: Can you tell if when who you are and what you rock at.
1:44
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, thank you for having me, Leslie, I'm so excited when I heard the name of your podcast.
1:48
[SPEAKER_01]: I was, well, that couldn't be more perfect.
1:51
[SPEAKER_01]: It's pretty amazing.
1:53
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I'm like, this is so perfect because this is, this is my jam.
1:56
[SPEAKER_01]: This is the life I live right now, but I live in National Tennessee.
2:00
[SPEAKER_01]: I am a solo mom of two teenagers.
2:03
[SPEAKER_01]: I've got a 17 year old daughter and an almost 15 year old son.
2:07
[SPEAKER_01]: So that is wild.
2:08
[SPEAKER_01]: We can tell.
2:09
[SPEAKER_01]: our just about that.
2:12
[SPEAKER_01]: But I have recently gone through a massive life transition.
2:16
[SPEAKER_01]: I left a 20 year career as a real estate agent where I built a huge business top 1% in the country, really top of my market selling luxury real estate here in Nashville.
2:28
[SPEAKER_01]: And started the beginning of a pivot that I didn't really know was happening until I was kind of in the middle of it and all of a sudden completely changed everything about my life in my business.
2:40
[SPEAKER_01]: And so that's been super, super fun.
2:42
[SPEAKER_01]: I am now helping other women architect their ambition.
2:45
[SPEAKER_01]: Because I learned through the process of building my business, leaving my business, all the things that I've done is that you achieving what you want to achieve does not happen by accident.
2:58
[SPEAKER_01]: And there are no shortcuts and there are no hacks and it's all about doing to work and so when I when I heard about you and I heard about this podcast, that was this is perfect because I am a tactics early all day long yeah I also love the architect and there because it's true you can wake up and go oh, why I'm over here on this journey and this thing is taking me further, but if you don't take the time to actually design it out.
3:21
[SPEAKER_03]: You are going to have that house built on the wrong foundation or you're not going to get the things that you want.
3:26
[SPEAKER_03]: You do need to be an architect or it otherwise things can sort of happen, but they don't happen the way that you want and then you have to go back and fix it anyway.
3:34
[SPEAKER_03]: So I think this is really cool what you're doing 20 years that is a long time.
3:38
[SPEAKER_03]: I've hit 20 years doing what I'm doing.
3:39
[SPEAKER_03]: I can't believe that because time flies.
3:42
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm sure people probably question what you're doing.
3:44
[SPEAKER_03]: You're leaving the successful career.
3:45
[SPEAKER_03]: We make a ton of money and you've got kids.
3:47
[SPEAKER_03]: I can't put you do that.
3:48
[SPEAKER_01]: Did you know what magic questions?
3:50
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, not only did I get the judgey questions, I also got it most recently for my 17 year old daughter.
3:56
[SPEAKER_01]: So she was in trouble.
3:58
[SPEAKER_01]: And so she was not in her finest moment.
4:00
[SPEAKER_01]: She was currently grounded.
4:01
[SPEAKER_01]: And she was just trying to stick it to me in any way possible.
4:05
[SPEAKER_01]: And so she told me that my career pivot was selfish.
4:09
[SPEAKER_01]: And what was I going to do post on Instagram for the next 20 years?
4:12
[SPEAKER_01]: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
4:15
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
4:16
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe.
4:18
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know.
4:20
[SPEAKER_01]: It's possible.
4:21
[SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, I mean, that's the whole thing is when you were doing anything, people are going to have thoughts about it.
4:27
[SPEAKER_01]: And, you know, I heard this a long time ago, crabs in the bucket.
4:31
[SPEAKER_01]: Do you know about crabs in the bucket?
4:32
[SPEAKER_01]: And tell me about crabs in the bucket.
4:33
[SPEAKER_03]: Okay.
4:34
[SPEAKER_01]: So you're at the beach and you throw a bunch of crabs in a bucket on the seashore and one crab tries to claw its way out to get over the edge of the bucket well what happens all the other crabs grab him and try to pull him back in the bucket and that is what happens when you try to break out of your shell when you try to break out of your bucket.
4:52
[SPEAKER_01]: everything, people, habits, your mindset, the universe, tests you and tries to keep you in the same place that you are.
5:01
[SPEAKER_01]: And so, you know, it really does require very, very intentional focus and strategy to make big changes because we are programmed to stay the same.
5:11
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, oh my gosh.
5:12
[SPEAKER_03]: Okay, your 17 year old is going to regret that someday in her life because she'll realize she's you.
5:16
[SPEAKER_01]: She's going to regret it when she hears the song.
5:19
[SPEAKER_01]: It's mad at me.
5:20
[SPEAKER_03]: Oh my god.
5:21
[SPEAKER_03]: I mean, here's a thing we all wear that 70.
5:23
[SPEAKER_03]: We're all you, babe, and also, you know, it's fear, right?
5:27
[SPEAKER_03]: She's scared of what that could be for you.
5:29
[SPEAKER_03]: And that's where most people are.
5:31
[SPEAKER_03]: Those poor crabs don't go on the, you don't know what's on the side of that bucket.
5:33
[SPEAKER_03]: So it's safe in the bucket, but it's not safe in the bucket.
5:36
[SPEAKER_03]: You're going to, the crabs are going to be food.
5:37
[SPEAKER_03]: So I thought that,
5:40
[SPEAKER_03]: visual.
5:41
[SPEAKER_03]: I do think we are programmed to stay the same, but as we know nothing is our bodies are different every single day, how we feel is different every single day, ladies who are listening this, our bodies are very different because it's a period of pause time.
5:54
[SPEAKER_03]: So what did you have to tell yourself every day to not get pulled down by a crap?
5:57
[SPEAKER_03]: How did you, how did you do that?
5:59
[SPEAKER_03]: Cause you're swimming against the current.
6:01
[SPEAKER_01]: very much very much you know it's it's a lot of things I think that I used to say that you had to start with a vision and then build a strategy and I've recently actually changed my tune on that because
6:16
[SPEAKER_01]: The problem that I had myself and what the problem that so many women that I work with have is that they know there is something more for them.
6:25
[SPEAKER_01]: They know there's something that they want to do, but they don't even have any idea what it is.
6:30
[SPEAKER_01]: Like they couldn't have a vision if their life depended on it because their entire life is dominated by their kids, their clients, they're to do list all the expectations that they put on themselves over functioning for other people.
6:46
[SPEAKER_01]: for vision.
6:47
[SPEAKER_01]: And so it's really easy to go.
6:50
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, no, you're why.
6:52
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, most people can't know their why because they don't even have the freaking time to ask themselves what their why is.
6:59
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
7:00
[SPEAKER_03]: It's a deep question.
7:01
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
7:01
[SPEAKER_01]: It takes a really time to answer that.
7:03
[SPEAKER_03]: I think I was digging 10 years before I figured why do I do this?
7:07
[SPEAKER_01]: That was in percent.
7:08
[SPEAKER_01]: So what I've really recently started doing and realizing is that yes, in a perfect world, if we had nothing else going on, we would go, you know, onto the top of a mountain and sit there and meditate and come up with what our big vision is for our life and our business, but that is not how the real world works for most of us.
7:25
[SPEAKER_01]: So instead, it really has to start with you aligning your time and leading your time so that you can create the mental white space in your life for you to even ask yourself those big questions and so that's what I'm really focused in on right now is how to create the space.
7:44
[SPEAKER_01]: Which starts with a strategy of how do you lead your time instead of letting your time and your energy be led by everybody else your inbox your text messages your social media your client list the kid who bus in the door and once a ride to the pool I mean everybody is pulling at our attention and we are inundated with noise and if we don't put a structure and a system around how we lead our own time and we don't even have a chance to ask ourselves the bigger questions.
8:10
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, I couldn't agree more.
8:12
[SPEAKER_03]: It's really interesting.
8:13
[SPEAKER_03]: I meet so many people.
8:14
[SPEAKER_03]: I coach businesses.
8:15
[SPEAKER_03]: I have people who do apologize with me.
8:17
[SPEAKER_03]: And the thing that they'll say is, I don't have time.
8:19
[SPEAKER_03]: I don't have time.
8:20
[SPEAKER_03]: I don't have time.
8:21
[SPEAKER_03]: And they'll look at me.
8:22
[SPEAKER_03]: You don't have kids.
8:23
[SPEAKER_03]: So that's why you have time.
8:24
[SPEAKER_03]: And I have three businesses.
8:25
[SPEAKER_03]: And so while I don't have anyone yelling my name, there's still pressures.
8:29
[SPEAKER_03]: We still all have different things.
8:31
[SPEAKER_03]: And what we choose to make time for is the thing.
8:35
[SPEAKER_03]: And yes, for those with infants, please feed your babies.
8:37
[SPEAKER_03]: That's a
8:40
[SPEAKER_03]: have told ourselves we don't have enough time so much we believe it and so we don't actually look to see what could be changed or or how we could delegate things off or how we make the 15 and 17 year old take care of themselves a little bit more because they supposedly want more time and more responsibility to go out with their friends maybe they have to make their own lunches.
9:00
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe, okay, so I have a couple things to say about this.
9:03
[SPEAKER_01]: This is so huge.
9:04
[SPEAKER_01]: So number one, I taught my children that there's no such thing as selective maturity.
9:09
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so if you're mature enough to go to the lake with a group of friends for the weekend, then you're mature enough to go pick up the dry cleaning for me.
9:19
[SPEAKER_01]: Hmm, if you are independent and responsible enough to my sons and boarding school, to live by yourself in another state and attend a basketball boarding school, you're responsible enough to take out the trash without me asking.
9:33
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and so that's one thing teenagers, especially trying to get away with is they want all this independence and they claim to be so grown up, but you can't it can't be selective.
9:43
[SPEAKER_01]: So for any moms or dads that are out there listening, you may claim this as your own until your kids.
9:48
[SPEAKER_01]: There's no such thing as selective maturity.
9:50
[SPEAKER_01]: And you know, it's a to give and take.
9:54
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm a remember when my mom, my mom actually,
9:57
[SPEAKER_01]: went to a parenting class back in the 80s when I was a little kid and she said, well, I grew up in a small town in Georgia and she said that she went to this parenting class and she was on the edge of her seat from this speaker where everybody else in the room, all these other moms were like clutching their pearls because they couldn't handle what this woman was saying, but this woman basically said, do not do anything for your kids that they can do for themselves.
10:21
[SPEAKER_01]: And people were horrified, and my mom being a single mom at the time was like, yes, this is what I was waiting for somebody to give me permission to do.
10:30
[SPEAKER_01]: And so she came home.
10:31
[SPEAKER_01]: She took my brother and I to the washing machine.
10:33
[SPEAKER_01]: She said, can you reach those knobs?
10:35
[SPEAKER_01]: I could reach him.
10:36
[SPEAKER_01]: My brother could reach him if he stood on his tiptoes.
10:39
[SPEAKER_01]: And she was, all right, great.
10:40
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to teach you about how to do your laundry, great.
10:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
10:42
[SPEAKER_01]: and she never did our laundry again.
10:44
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I love your mom and also I'm thinking back to what I remember my parents did for me, which I don't think that they did with my siblings, which is my dad, you support a bowl of cereal, dry, and a bowl, and put the milk in a glass, and there a picture of me.
10:58
[SPEAKER_03]: three years old, opening the fridge, taking off the bowl and the milk and putting the milk into the thing and sitting down and eating it.
11:04
[SPEAKER_03]: So my mom could sleep.
11:05
[SPEAKER_03]: I could just make my own breakfast, you know, and so I'm 100% sure we were safe enough to learn how to make pancakes.
11:11
[SPEAKER_03]: He's okay.
11:11
[SPEAKER_03]: So when the bubble pops and it doesn't sink down, you flip it over, right?
11:15
[SPEAKER_03]: And so it made me a very independent child who was very autonomous and did some things.
11:20
[SPEAKER_03]: And I think that that is important because, you know, you want them to take care of you when you're older, right?
11:27
[SPEAKER_01]: And yeah, right.
11:28
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
11:28
[SPEAKER_01]: So, okay.
11:30
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to be a senior citizen being taken care of by some incompetent adult.
11:34
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
11:35
[SPEAKER_03]: Really.
11:36
[SPEAKER_03]: Okay.
11:36
[SPEAKER_03]: But how do people start auditing their time?
11:38
[SPEAKER_03]: Because this is where I think people get stuck.
11:40
[SPEAKER_03]: Okay.
11:41
[SPEAKER_03]: After my time.
11:41
[SPEAKER_03]: Do they use a tool?
11:42
[SPEAKER_03]: Do they map it out?
11:44
[SPEAKER_03]: What?
11:44
[SPEAKER_03]: Where do you look and see where you're there's time that you could actually turn into this blank space thinking about what you want?
11:51
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
11:52
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, I want to double click on something you said before, I went off on my tangent about teenagers, but, you know, people say I don't have enough time.
11:59
[SPEAKER_01]: That is probably the thing I hear most from women that I work with and it's just BS.
12:05
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, it is everyone has the same 24 hours in the day.
12:10
[SPEAKER_01]: How you use it is vastly different.
12:12
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, look at the most successful people on the planet.
12:16
[SPEAKER_01]: They don't have any more time than you do.
12:18
[SPEAKER_01]: And they're getting, you know, quantum light years more work, the work done every day.
12:24
[SPEAKER_01]: And so it's, it, time is not found.
12:27
[SPEAKER_01]: Time is made.
12:28
[SPEAKER_01]: And we make the time for what is important us.
12:31
[SPEAKER_01]: And so first it just starts with having a really hard conversation with yourself, which is how important is this?
12:37
[SPEAKER_01]: Because if you look at your calendar and it will tell you what your priorities are now here's where a lot of people get stuck a lot of, you know, moms running businesses and it gives substitute your dogs or your husband or whatever from children this goes for everybody you look at your calendar and it shows you what your priorities are and most people that I work with they look at it and they go well it's my clients and my children as it should be.
13:01
[SPEAKER_01]: No.
13:01
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not.
13:04
[SPEAKER_01]: It needs to be you on their first because when you put yourself first, when you choose yourself, then you have so much more to give to your clients, so much more to give to your children.
13:15
[SPEAKER_01]: If you focus on being reactive to other people's needs instead of your own, then you, you and your
13:27
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
13:27
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's what the whole thing is here is how do you get more done with the amount of time that you have.
13:33
[SPEAKER_01]: So the first thing is stop telling yourself the lie that you don't have enough time.
13:36
[SPEAKER_01]: You have to go make the time and then, you know, for me, it gets really tactical and actually have something.
13:42
[SPEAKER_01]: If you're listeners are interested, they get DM me on Instagram and just tell me DM me the word hours and I will send you this, this little training that I put together.
13:52
[SPEAKER_01]: I've got a download of exactly how I lay out my week.
13:56
[SPEAKER_01]: And it starts with having that intentional morning time.
13:59
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't have some elaborate morning routine, but I have some really firm boundaries on what noise I allow into my space during that time.
14:08
[SPEAKER_01]: And for me, I'm exercising because if it doesn't happen first thing in the morning, it's not happening at all.
14:14
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm spending time with my kids.
14:15
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not getting in my inbox.
14:17
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not responding to text messages.
14:19
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not answering phone calls before a certain time.
14:22
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm doing the things that I need to do to be able to hear myself think and then from there the first thing on my calendar every day when I sit down at my desk is my CEO time and that's where I sit down.
14:35
[SPEAKER_01]: I look at what did I get accomplished yesterday what needs to be moved over to today because maybe I mean I've never gotten to the individual to do list.
14:42
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know about you.
14:43
[SPEAKER_01]: So there's always something else to turn over.
14:46
[SPEAKER_01]: And then look at if I got one thing done today, what is the most important thing for me to get done today and do that first and so on my calendar the way that I block my time out I have north star focus time for the first two hours every morning.
15:02
[SPEAKER_01]: Cool.
15:02
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I put it down and I do what is most important to me and my business first before I answer anybody's email before I call anybody back.
15:11
[SPEAKER_01]: I schedule my client appointments in the afternoon because I know for myself, I'm most focused first thing in the morning.
15:18
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
15:18
[SPEAKER_01]: I got my caffeine.
15:19
[SPEAKER_01]: I've gotten a good night's sleep.
15:20
[SPEAKER_01]: I need my brain power in the morning to do what's important to me.
15:24
[SPEAKER_01]: And then in the afternoon, I'm better for errands.
15:27
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm better for conversations.
15:29
[SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't require so much focus.
15:31
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
15:32
[SPEAKER_01]: And so really paying attention to your own natural rhythms.
15:35
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
15:35
[SPEAKER_01]: not only on a daily basis, but on a weekly basis on a monthly basis, as you alluded to, we especially as women need to be so cognizant of we don't get up every day and have the same social battery, the same focus battery 24-7.
15:50
[SPEAKER_01]: We are not robots and it's a really learning to work within your own natural rhythms and go,
15:56
[SPEAKER_01]: This is the best time for me to do this.
15:59
[SPEAKER_01]: This is the best time for me to do that.
16:01
[SPEAKER_01]: Or at this time of the month, these are the types of things I'm gonna do in my business.
16:04
[SPEAKER_01]: And these times of the month, I'm just gonna take it off my plate because it's not gonna get done anyway.
16:09
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
16:10
[SPEAKER_03]: I love this so much.
16:10
[SPEAKER_03]: I have a similar strategy of how I do my time.
16:13
[SPEAKER_03]: And I change mine with the seasons a little bit.
16:15
[SPEAKER_03]: I got about three different types of like deal schedules because the pens if I'm in town, out of town, you know, on the road.
16:21
[SPEAKER_03]: And
16:21
[SPEAKER_03]: It is this interesting thing.
16:23
[SPEAKER_03]: I can tell when I'm hitting burnout.
16:24
[SPEAKER_03]: If I ask myself, did I actually do my gym stones time?
16:27
[SPEAKER_03]: I call it gym something like, oh no, I haven't been doing that for two weeks.
16:29
[SPEAKER_03]: Well, no, I'm burned out because I'm not, I'm actually just doing the reaction stuff and not doing the thing that is the CEO time is the creative time to move things forward.
16:39
[SPEAKER_03]: And it really is this incredible thing when you do new shift things to work with your energy levels.
16:44
[SPEAKER_03]: It's that compounded interest.
16:46
[SPEAKER_03]: Really, you get more done.
16:48
[SPEAKER_03]: And I also say, you are a better person to your children, your clients, your partner.
16:54
[SPEAKER_03]: When you work like this, when you operate your life like this.
16:56
[SPEAKER_03]: this.
16:57
[SPEAKER_03]: I can tell you from watching parents who said all they did everything for us and their jobs because they needed to make money a great very poor and they did all these things for us.
17:07
[SPEAKER_03]: They were not full of energy and excitement and love every day.
17:11
[SPEAKER_03]: They were exhausted.
17:12
[SPEAKER_03]: They were absolutely exhausted.
17:13
[SPEAKER_03]: So I'm not saying that their intentions weren't good.
17:15
[SPEAKER_03]: but the results of it meant that they were tired fighting parents because of course they were they weren't you know and when I was older teenagers they started going to the gym in the morning together all the study started to see a whole different side of people and so it's not working out as the key but taking time for yourself is the key whatever that is and so I'm to I too have a block in my morning and the only thing that's consistent is that I get up do my coal plunge read this little journal
17:41
[SPEAKER_03]: it's called a journey to the heart and the soul and I love just reading it every day.
17:45
[SPEAKER_03]: And then I take my dogs for walk.
17:46
[SPEAKER_03]: And then after that, between that walk and when I go to work, it's either my workouts or it's some red light or it's whatever I want to do, but it's that same thing.
17:55
[SPEAKER_03]: It's been intentional time where other people can't be in my space.
17:59
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
17:59
[SPEAKER_01]: That's what it's all about.
18:00
[SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't matter what you do.
18:02
[SPEAKER_01]: It just matters that nobody else is there.
18:05
[SPEAKER_01]: How do you go?
18:06
[SPEAKER_03]: How do you go?
18:06
[SPEAKER_03]: How do you see from, or how do you how do your clients go from, okay, this schedule that doesn't work for them, that they think does.
18:12
[SPEAKER_03]: And then the ideal schedule that they're trying to create, because I think some people want to flip it like a switch and it's, I don't know that that's possible.
18:19
[SPEAKER_03]: So how do you how do you live with the in-between?
18:22
[SPEAKER_01]: So one of the tools that I use is a simple time and energy on it.
18:27
[SPEAKER_01]: So I ask my clients to write down, do it in their notes up on their phone on a piece of paper if they're user hard planner, whatever's the easiest possible thing, but write down every single thing you do for two weeks.
18:40
[SPEAKER_01]: And not only how long did it take you, but how much energy did it either give you or take you because there are things talking to you right now actually gives me energy I will get off this call and I'll feel even better than I did before I got on it, but when I go review this legal agreement that's sitting in my inbox.
18:58
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not going to feel better when I'm done other than I'll feel that's over with, but it's going to take it's going to be a drain.
19:04
[SPEAKER_01]: And so being really aware of what are you doing, how much time are you spending on it and is it giving you energy or is it taking energy from you.
19:12
[SPEAKER_01]: And what every single person who does this realizes really quickly is how much time they're spending on what I call $10 tasks.
19:21
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, this is something that theoretically you could pay my 17 year old daughter 10 bucks an hour to do for you and it is what most of the women I work with are spending most of their time doing.
19:34
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and these things on below their pay grade, they are not energy giving, they're just complete time sucks, but they are the things that have to be done.
19:44
[SPEAKER_01]: And so it's about getting really honest with yourself first and realizing, I am never gonna grow my business.
19:51
[SPEAKER_01]: I am never gonna reach this goal, maybe it's a fitness call, maybe I'm never gonna hit this amount of money if that's what your goal is.
19:57
[SPEAKER_01]: Whatever it is you're working toward, if you are not focusing your attention on the things that bring you the biggest return, you're never gonna get there.
20:06
[SPEAKER_01]: If you are trying to hit a body fat percentage
20:13
[SPEAKER_01]: It's going to be a lot harder, right?
20:16
[SPEAKER_01]: We know leg day is a better bang for your back than arms.
20:20
[SPEAKER_01]: And so you have to focus your attention on the things that make a difference and what most people are focusing the majority of their attention on or just the
20:30
[SPEAKER_03]: Right, but they didn't check a box, Lacey.
20:31
[SPEAKER_01]: They get to check a box and that's a dopamine hit.
20:35
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, that isn't it you had ADHD should go get that diagnosed.
20:39
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, right.
20:40
[SPEAKER_01]: But we all, I mean, we all present that way.
20:43
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, it's been in time.
20:44
[SPEAKER_01]: If you were a busy middle-aged woman with a lot going on, you were going to present like that's also, even if you don't, everybody does things for the dopamine because they get to look like dead.
20:52
[SPEAKER_03]: I did, I moved this thing, but you really just did busy work, not business work.
20:56
[SPEAKER_03]: And it's just,
20:57
[SPEAKER_03]: It's hard because I think people been also raised if you didn't finish something you can't celebrate it right you have to to get the trophy if you've done the thing and it's there's a lot of little steps along the way that if you actually just take a look at it and you take a look at it and you take a look at your supposed to be doing in it you know I have had people side I mean when we say we have a guy who picks up the dog poop every Monday.
21:16
[SPEAKER_03]: And I'm right it's 15 dollars and then the landscape or can come and do what he does on Tuesday morning and there I don't have to do do how many times I was running out there when I saw the red truck back the landscapers here after run out there and do because why that I don't want to do.
21:31
[SPEAKER_03]: It has to be done.
21:33
[SPEAKER_03]: And so, and you know how much I charge to do a session with me.
21:36
[SPEAKER_03]: Well, me going out there looking for this stuff is much cheaper than paying someone to do it.
21:40
[SPEAKER_03]: And now it's not taking up brain space.
21:43
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm not milking when I see the landscape or come all that stuff.
21:46
[SPEAKER_03]: My husband is our first house.
21:50
[SPEAKER_03]: You're gonna mow the lawn in Las Vegas.
21:52
[SPEAKER_03]: You're gonna mow that lawn.
21:54
[SPEAKER_03]: And we moved in the summer time.
21:55
[SPEAKER_03]: And he did it one time.
21:58
[SPEAKER_03]: He doesn't listen to this.
21:59
[SPEAKER_03]: Maybe he did it twice, but I really feel like one.
22:02
[SPEAKER_03]: And I was so that landscaper, you know, he's only gonna have at $100 a week.
22:06
[SPEAKER_03]: Do you want to just call him?
22:09
[SPEAKER_01]: a thousand percent.
22:10
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't go to the grocery store.
22:13
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't cook.
22:14
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't clean my house.
22:16
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't wash my car.
22:18
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I can do all of these things, but it's way more effective and more efficient for me to pay somebody else to do it than for me to do it myself.
22:28
[SPEAKER_01]: If, it, and here's the big if.
22:30
[SPEAKER_01]: If I spend that time doing something that will actually make
22:38
[SPEAKER_03]: If those things bring you joy and energy, not yourself out, go for it.
22:42
[SPEAKER_03]: But I find that a lot of people use why have to get this organized before I can do this thing.
22:48
[SPEAKER_03]: And I actually think that's just another excuse.
22:50
[SPEAKER_03]: You're scared of doing the thing because the thing is going to take you to a place where you don't know.
22:54
[SPEAKER_03]: The thing is actually going to take you out of that crab bucket and you are yourself being the other crab's pulling yourself in because it's safe.
23:01
[SPEAKER_03]: but really it's I of course I like a clean a desk and a clean house and everything organized.
23:07
[SPEAKER_03]: But also if I spend my time doing that every single day to pick up after my 80s yourself, I'm not going to get the things done.
23:15
[SPEAKER_03]: And then the other thing I'll just say is, I didn't hire and I'm sure they say the same way.
23:18
[SPEAKER_03]: I didn't hire each one of these people who helps us on our team all at the same time.
23:21
[SPEAKER_03]: was one thing at a time when it's based on which one gets me the most time back, but also my money's going back into the community.
23:27
[SPEAKER_03]: Every single of those people lives or works in this neighborhood.
23:30
[SPEAKER_03]: My housekeeper gets to pick up her kids and take them to school.
23:33
[SPEAKER_03]: She actually does every house on this block and she loves it because she has her own business and so you have to think about it.
23:38
[SPEAKER_03]: It's not we're giving away things that are gross or awful.
23:42
[SPEAKER_03]: We're actually taking people who have the idea of doing that because that brings them joy and they're really good at it and we're allowing them to be empowered and their families be empowered and then we all
23:51
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
23:52
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
23:53
[SPEAKER_01]: And, you know, one of the things that just really stood out as you were talking about that is, if it does bring you joy, please do it.
24:00
[SPEAKER_01]: If you'd love to cook.
24:02
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
24:03
[SPEAKER_01]: We don't want to take away things that really do bring us joy just because.
24:07
[SPEAKER_01]: Just because it's something that maybe isn't like the biggest revenue driver in our business, but the other thing that what you were saying made me realize is that there's so many times I hear women who they really need to hire help, maybe they need to hire an assistant, they need to start building out their team and what they say to me is.
24:25
[SPEAKER_01]: As soon as I get all my SOPs created, then I can make the higher.
24:30
[SPEAKER_01]: As soon as I get such and such organized, then I can make the higher.
24:34
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm always, it will absolutely never happen.
24:36
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly what you just said, that is a delay tactic from doing the actual thing.
24:41
[SPEAKER_01]: Because you don't create the SOP and then hire the person to run the play.
24:45
[SPEAKER_01]: You hire the person, say, here's all my crazy chaos.
24:49
[SPEAKER_01]: make it make sense and build me an SOP and you let that person come into your world.
24:54
[SPEAKER_01]: We call them junk drawer meetings.
24:56
[SPEAKER_01]: So I'll get on with my team and I'm okay junk drawer and I will just download all of the things that are scattered around them.
25:04
[SPEAKER_01]: Make no sense in my head and my team does the same thing and then we organize them and then we put in put in a plan of attack of how we're going to get all these things done.
25:12
[SPEAKER_01]: But you've got to have somebody to help you do that because
25:16
[SPEAKER_01]: For me, I may have 25 things swimming around in my mind that I'm never going to get to and as long as Merrill is right there for me to say, hey, I've got all these things.
25:25
[SPEAKER_01]: That girl can not all of them off My list in one day and I would never get to them, but so many women.
25:33
[SPEAKER_01]: have this limiting belief around.
25:35
[SPEAKER_01]: I have to have my act together before I can hire someone to help me.
25:38
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm, no, no, no, no.
25:40
[SPEAKER_01]: I think I get someone to help you get your act together.
25:43
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I mean, I think, especially that's a perception thing or a little worried about what they're going to say.
25:47
[SPEAKER_03]: They want a job as an assistant.
25:49
[SPEAKER_03]: They want to be your assistant.
25:50
[SPEAKER_03]: They want to do the thing, right?
25:52
[SPEAKER_03]: You know, it's like when the people who clean before the housekeeper comes up, that's why I don't do that.
25:59
[SPEAKER_03]: I watched my husband doing the dishes the night before she's coming tomorrow.
26:02
[SPEAKER_03]: She's coming to you.
26:03
[SPEAKER_03]: So if you don't need that dish, I when I was a coffee shop employee, what I was watching dishes, they said as long as there's dirty dishes you have a job, that's job security.
26:12
[SPEAKER_03]: And so to me,
26:13
[SPEAKER_03]: That is, I remember when I hired my first assistant being a little embarrassed that I didn't know how to do the things I was asking her to do and she so great because she had been an assistant for a long time already so Leslie is my job to do these things so stop asking me if I can do something I will tell you if I can't do something and I was oh right I hired you to do this okay and so I realized it was just a limiting belief I had that I had to know what I was asking her to do but really
26:37
[SPEAKER_03]: when you hire people to help you, you can just be honest with them.
26:40
[SPEAKER_03]: I don't know how this goes.
26:41
[SPEAKER_03]: Here's how I want it to go.
26:43
[SPEAKER_03]: Here's what my expectations are.
26:45
[SPEAKER_03]: And then see what they do.
26:46
[SPEAKER_03]: Let them impress you because it's kind of like going back to the conversation.
26:49
[SPEAKER_03]: Don't do things for your kids.
26:50
[SPEAKER_03]: They can do for themselves.
26:51
[SPEAKER_03]: Let these people help you.
26:52
[SPEAKER_03]: They want to.
26:53
[SPEAKER_03]: And you all get to make a bigger impact together.
26:57
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
26:58
[SPEAKER_01]: And, you know, at this point in my life, if I don't know how to do something, unless it is hugely important to my business AI, I'm learning.
27:08
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
27:08
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
27:09
[SPEAKER_01]: I am focused my time and attention on learning and implementing AI because it's that big of a deal.
27:14
[SPEAKER_01]: Everything else, if I don't already know how to do it, I'm not going to go learn.
27:19
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to say.
27:20
[SPEAKER_01]: team.
27:21
[SPEAKER_01]: You don't know how to do it.
27:22
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know how to do it.
27:23
[SPEAKER_01]: Y'all go figure it out.
27:24
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not for me is the CEO to go learn and then teach my team.
27:28
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's another thing I hear all the time.
27:29
[SPEAKER_01]: I've got to go learn this thing and then teach my people.
27:31
[SPEAKER_01]: No, you don't need to know it.
27:33
[SPEAKER_01]: I think you just need to say, this is what I want to happen.
27:37
[SPEAKER_01]: Come back to me with a plan of how we make that work.
27:39
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I think it's, and it's probably just years of how women are raised.
27:42
[SPEAKER_03]: It's just a little different.
27:43
[SPEAKER_03]: We think we've done all the things for all the people all the time.
27:46
[SPEAKER_03]: So we kind of have to keep be doing that caretaking and actually you get to save that for the things you want to caretake over.
27:52
[SPEAKER_03]: You know, you actually want to caretake over your clients or your dreams or your people and your life.
27:57
[SPEAKER_03]: There are people who can do that, and I will say, I am really, really grateful for the things that I had to do on my own when I started my business.
28:05
[SPEAKER_03]: I had to learn how can but work.
28:06
[SPEAKER_03]: I had to learn how to schedule YouTube video.
28:09
[SPEAKER_03]: I had to learn all those things.
28:11
[SPEAKER_03]: And now I don't have to do those things.
28:13
[SPEAKER_03]: So, you know, there's, there's, there's different stages in our life.
28:16
[SPEAKER_03]: But when we make this excuse to hold ourselves back, it's not fun, and it does lead to burnout.
28:21
[SPEAKER_03]: And then the world loses a person who is uniquely qualified to do the thing and the way that you did it, you know?
28:26
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
28:27
[SPEAKER_03]: I think maybe it's also really understanding the people that you're trying to help every time you holds yourself back or so you don't have time you're actually keeping them in pain a little bit longer.
28:37
[SPEAKER_03]: Daniel Pink said something on a podcast that I heard 16 years ago and I've never forgotten it.
28:41
[SPEAKER_03]: He said if what you do takes people out of pain, it solves a problem they have and it takes them out of pain.
28:46
[SPEAKER_03]: You have a moral obligation to sell it to them and after I heard that a moral obligation to sell it to them for her that is like every time I don't
28:54
[SPEAKER_03]: do the thing that could help this person that is in pain.
28:57
[SPEAKER_03]: I am actually leaving them in pain.
28:59
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm holding them there.
29:01
[SPEAKER_03]: And so it changed how I treated time and what I did in how I charged because it made me think about the actual user of the product.
29:10
[SPEAKER_03]: as opposed to myself and what people thought of me, right?
29:12
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, yes, exactly.
29:15
[SPEAKER_01]: And then, and I mean, that goes for so many people and sales, you know, one of the biggest things that I hear from women I work with is I don't want to be salesy, and they think that putting themselves out there, showing up as a business on social media, letting people know that you provide a service.
29:31
[SPEAKER_01]: They any sort of stepping out and presenting yourself that way feels salzy to a lot of us that don't have that conditioning of, it's really not sales at service.
29:43
[SPEAKER_01]: And if you think of it from that way that that is a person who needs your help.
29:47
[SPEAKER_01]: And if they don't know that you can solve their problem, then you're actually doing them a disservice.
29:52
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
29:53
[SPEAKER_01]: And, you know, people who are offended by what you're offering or they are not interested in it or they make fun of you for having a job, those people were never going to buy from you anyway.
30:04
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
30:04
[SPEAKER_01]: They were never going to work from you anyway.
30:06
[SPEAKER_01]: So who cares what they think.
30:08
[SPEAKER_01]: But if you have all of those critics in your head that are telling you, oh, I shouldn't show up.
30:13
[SPEAKER_01]: I shouldn't offer my services.
30:15
[SPEAKER_01]: I shouldn't open this business.
30:16
[SPEAKER_01]: I shouldn't share my gifts with the world because I've got, you know, for people from high school, their voice in the back of my head telling me that this is embarrassing, then you're keeping yourself from being able to really do what you're here to do is the way that the way I really believe it.
30:31
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I think so.
30:32
[SPEAKER_03]: I think we can be our own or own worst enemy.
30:35
[SPEAKER_03]: I mean, obviously, people are listening as well.
30:36
[SPEAKER_03]: It's easy for you to say you to our obviously very competent women.
30:39
[SPEAKER_03]: And I joke around, oh, I just give myself a lot of peptox and I do a lot of things scared.
30:43
[SPEAKER_03]: But how do you combat those voices or those comments or those fears?
30:48
[SPEAKER_03]: What is there a due journal?
30:50
[SPEAKER_03]: Do you have a music that you listen to?
30:51
[SPEAKER_03]: Do you have a mantra you say?
30:52
[SPEAKER_03]: How do you do that?
30:54
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, all of the above, you know, I wouldn't classify myself as someone who was just born overly confident.
31:01
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm an introvert who pretends to be an extrovert really well.
31:05
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
31:05
[SPEAKER_01]: But it, I would rather be in the bathtub than about any other place on the planet.
31:10
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I really do have to
31:12
[SPEAKER_01]: get myself in the right frame of mind to put myself out there.
31:16
[SPEAKER_01]: I didn't show up as my true self on social media for years because I was worried about what people would think and even yesterday, I posted a post and I sent it to my assistant beforehand and I was I feel really vulnerable about this.
31:30
[SPEAKER_01]: And she was that's ridiculous, but also that is what you tell people to do, Lacey, you have to post it.
31:35
[SPEAKER_01]: If you feel vulnerable about it, you
31:37
[SPEAKER_01]: you have to post it anyway because that is what you and I was exactly right you're exactly right.
31:41
[SPEAKER_01]: So I'm just saying that if you sit here and think you're listening to this and you sit here and think that you're different than Leslie or I you're not.
31:49
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
31:51
[SPEAKER_01]: We're exactly the same.
31:53
[SPEAKER_01]: I put myself in rooms that scare me.
31:56
[SPEAKER_01]: I go hang out with people doing things that I want to do that are way above what I'm currently doing and then I realize they're just normal people and, you know, all really all that the only difference between where I am in my business and where somebody else might be in there or so where you are in yours compared to Leslie is time and focus and it's just the compounding results.
32:19
[SPEAKER_01]: of commitment to doing the same stuff over and over and over and over again.
32:24
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, this is where I think that social media, one of the millions of ways that social media harms us, but specific to women like us who are building businesses, is there's a lot of people out there putting out content that make it look like it's fast and easy.
32:38
[SPEAKER_01]: You can rate it's nothing figures a year and it's so fast and it's so easy and all you have to do is download my $7 template bullshit.
32:46
[SPEAKER_01]: No, it's not fast and it's not easy.
32:49
[SPEAKER_03]: No, and you don't want it to be fast or easy.
32:52
[SPEAKER_03]: It goes for everything.
32:52
[SPEAKER_03]: No diet, no fitness goal, no, no house, no renovation and no relationship is fast and easy.
32:59
[SPEAKER_03]: I want my meals to be fast and easy.
33:03
[SPEAKER_03]: And even then I have to work hard to make sure that they're healthy at the same time.
33:07
[SPEAKER_03]: And they are fast and easy.
33:08
[SPEAKER_03]: They probably taste like shit.
33:09
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, exactly.
33:11
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like you can't have.
33:12
[SPEAKER_01]: You can't have fast, easy and good.
33:14
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I agree.
33:17
[SPEAKER_03]: Everything takes a little longer than we want, but it is happening.
33:20
[SPEAKER_03]: And I will say definitely I agree.
33:22
[SPEAKER_03]: Go to begin those rounds.
33:23
[SPEAKER_03]: Go learn from people who are ahead of it.
33:25
[SPEAKER_03]: And you might, you might even find that they don't even know what they're doing.
33:28
[SPEAKER_03]: I've been in place as going, I'm doing the same thing you're doing, how are you further along?
33:33
[SPEAKER_03]: And then you discover, oh, when they said that they had these big massive launches that were six figures, it actually spent $90,000 in ads to get to six figure launch and so their profits are low.
33:44
[SPEAKER_03]: You discover a lot of things and you realize, okay, I'm actually doing better than they are.
33:49
[SPEAKER_03]: put your big girl boots on and celebrate that and keep going.
33:52
[SPEAKER_03]: Sometimes you actually discover a lot of things you can either be inspired or empowered or educated or you can go whoa, I am not getting myself enough credit either way you win.
34:03
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly, but unless you put yourself in those positions to know the answers to those questions, you can sit over here on your side of the internet and think that you're behind.
34:12
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, yeah, and also not true.
34:13
[SPEAKER_03]: I love that you said you're an introvert too.
34:15
[SPEAKER_03]: I think most people don't realize who the introverts really are because we can cosplay as an extrovert.
34:21
[SPEAKER_03]: And then what you don't see is the four hour morning routine that we recharge with.
34:25
[SPEAKER_03]: That's the thing.
34:27
[SPEAKER_03]: And that's what I have.
34:28
[SPEAKER_03]: That's what I've had to do.
34:29
[SPEAKER_03]: And people don't realize it, but the other realized being introvert does not like you shy.
34:33
[SPEAKER_03]: Right, shy.
34:34
[SPEAKER_03]: You might have a fear of people.
34:35
[SPEAKER_03]: There might be something going on there.
34:37
[SPEAKER_03]: It's a whole different thing.
34:38
[SPEAKER_03]: Introverted next to it is just how you see energy, how you get recharge.
34:41
[SPEAKER_03]: So, but I have a lot of people who are less like, I don't want to go out there and tell people what I do because I'm just really shy.
34:46
[SPEAKER_03]: And I coach people to teach lies.
34:48
[SPEAKER_03]: You teach people Pilates.
34:49
[SPEAKER_03]: So, you're going to talk to them at some point.
34:51
[SPEAKER_03]: How come you can talk to them in your space?
34:53
[SPEAKER_03]: Which you can't talk about there.
34:54
[SPEAKER_03]: Oh, you're afraid to be rejected.
34:55
[SPEAKER_03]: Okay.
34:56
[SPEAKER_03]: Well, at least now we know.
34:57
[SPEAKER_03]: And then you can go out there.
34:59
[SPEAKER_03]: But you were in real state before this.
35:00
[SPEAKER_03]: You got rejected probably a million times.
35:03
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, all the time.
35:04
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
35:05
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, yeah.
35:06
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you can get hired.
35:08
[SPEAKER_01]: You can be accepted and then rejected in the same day.
35:10
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, it's, yeah.
35:13
[SPEAKER_01]: Rejection is all about it.
35:15
[SPEAKER_01]: And so, and yeah, and it's just, I think that it is.
35:18
[SPEAKER_01]: It's just like anything else.
35:19
[SPEAKER_01]: It's getting in reps. Mm.
35:21
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I was actually listening to one of your earlier podcasts.
35:25
[SPEAKER_01]: And you and the guests were talking about getting dumped.
35:29
[SPEAKER_01]: and or or dumping someone and you're saying oh it's so hard to break up with somebody I've never I don't like I've broken up with so many people.
35:36
[SPEAKER_01]: It's so easy.
35:37
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like anything else.
35:40
[SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't matter what it is if you do it enough times you get it down.
35:44
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I'm going exactly what to do and you know my break up script is hey I've just got to be honest this isn't the connection that I'm looking for.
35:51
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
35:51
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, also look at and you just shut up and that's the end of it.
35:54
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, you can train yourself to handle any awkward situation.
36:00
[SPEAKER_01]: If you get really clear on what it is that is the truth and you say it in a short succinct way and then you shut up.
36:09
[SPEAKER_03]: Well, I think, so that's something I'm teaching.
36:11
[SPEAKER_03]: I have a teacher training program for new applies and instructors, and so I'm running the beta group right now, and these girls who are auditing with me, like, well, they're saying a lot of words are trying to correct as well, so first I'm talking out loud with this stuff.
36:22
[SPEAKER_03]: So they're going to say way too much, right?
36:24
[SPEAKER_03]: My first time breaking up with someone.
36:25
[SPEAKER_03]: I don't know how to do it.
36:26
[SPEAKER_03]: And I'm trying to do it.
36:27
[SPEAKER_03]: It was worth selling.
36:28
[SPEAKER_03]: I don't know what I'm saying anymore.
36:30
[SPEAKER_03]: But you have to go through that.
36:31
[SPEAKER_03]: And then you, and then they do it again.
36:32
[SPEAKER_03]: And then they realize, I can say it faster this way.
36:34
[SPEAKER_03]: And all of a sudden, it becomes, I can say the thing in force words that's taking them 10 right now.
36:39
[SPEAKER_03]: But it just takes reps, like you said.
36:41
[SPEAKER_03]: And I think we have to get out of our own way and do the reps. And also maybe just know that everyone has to start somewhere.
36:47
[SPEAKER_03]: Everyone starts somewhere, right?
36:49
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and nobody comes out being great at it.
36:51
[SPEAKER_01]: You've got to suck out at first.
36:53
[SPEAKER_01]: And I, that's what holds so many people back as we just don't want to be.
36:57
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not even that we're afraid of failing.
37:00
[SPEAKER_01]: It's that we're afraid of being seen failing.
37:03
[SPEAKER_03]: Right, nobody's we're all fine to fail, but we just don't want people to know.
37:07
[SPEAKER_03]: you make an excellent point there, Lacey, and also talking about social media, you're seeing people who have thousands and thousands of followers say it so succinctly, and you're, I do it like that, but the reason you didn't see them in the beginning is because they had no followers, so they're algorithm wasn't selling you.
37:22
[SPEAKER_03]: That's like, so actually, so you know, no one can see you fail right now.
37:25
[SPEAKER_01]: So nobody's looking at you either.
37:27
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
37:28
[SPEAKER_03]: I had a great code to say, if you can't talk to 10 people in the room, how can you have a goal of talking to 10,000 people?
37:34
[SPEAKER_03]: Go learn how to do a speech in front of 10 people, because you want to fail there.
37:39
[SPEAKER_01]: You can't get your reps in there, not in front of 10,000 people.
37:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
37:43
[SPEAKER_01]: And so people beat themselves up for being small or not having a huge following yet, or not having their business be exactly where it is.
37:50
[SPEAKER_01]: But it's just where you are in the moment.
37:53
[SPEAKER_01]: And every opportunity,
37:56
[SPEAKER_01]: It creates an opportunity to get better and it's all just about putting in the work and people want to skip it.
38:03
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
38:03
[SPEAKER_03]: You know, I see I could keep talking to you.
38:05
[SPEAKER_03]: I just like the time a holy fuck.
38:07
[SPEAKER_03]: Clearly have to have you back and talk about more things because what you're doing is is is literally helping people be it till they see it.
38:12
[SPEAKER_03]: So I love that so much.
38:13
[SPEAKER_03]: So we're in take a brief break, find out if you can find you follow you work with you.
38:16
[SPEAKER_02]: All right, Lacey, where do you hang out?
38:17
[SPEAKER_01]: Where can they get all these tools that you've been spouting out?
38:22
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, okay.
38:22
[SPEAKER_01]: So hang out with me on Instagram.
38:24
[SPEAKER_01]: That is where I live.
38:25
[SPEAKER_01]: My handle is at, hey, Lacey Newman.
38:28
[SPEAKER_01]: So come say, hey, and yeah, if you want to see exactly how I'm managing my time, send me the word hours in my DM and I'll send it over to you.
38:38
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll give you the exact download of the way that I'm blocking my schedule.
38:41
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not to say that my way is the best way, but I want you to see how I do it and give it, make it it be a permission slip for you to design one that puts
38:52
[SPEAKER_03]: out.
38:53
[SPEAKER_03]: I love this so much.
38:54
[SPEAKER_03]: Yes, and that's so easy to do everyone.
39:02
[SPEAKER_03]: Phil, you've given us a lot of great stuff, but we have to do our bold, executable, intrinsic, or targeted steps people can take to be it to they see it.
39:07
[SPEAKER_03]: What do you have for us?
39:09
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
39:09
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
39:10
[SPEAKER_01]: So number one, how to be at TC it.
39:12
[SPEAKER_01]: Vision.
39:13
[SPEAKER_01]: And as we talked about earlier, you've got a carve out the space to have the room to have the vision.
39:18
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
39:19
[SPEAKER_01]: So that kind of a double edge sword there.
39:20
[SPEAKER_01]: But number one, you've got to have vision.
39:22
[SPEAKER_01]: Number two, you've got to have focus.
39:25
[SPEAKER_01]: I call it a North Star in my business.
39:27
[SPEAKER_01]: What is the one thing that if you do nothing else today, you will continue moving the business forward.
39:33
[SPEAKER_01]: Number three, get in the room that scares the shit out of you.
39:37
[SPEAKER_01]: The one you feel like you do not belong in.
39:39
[SPEAKER_01]: That's the one you should be in figure out how to get in there.
39:43
[SPEAKER_01]: Number four, and we didn't talk about this and I could talk about this for an hour.
39:46
[SPEAKER_01]: Stop waiting for permission.
39:49
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, if there is something that you want to do, if there is someone that you want to be, that desire that ambition that drive that you have in yourself is the only reason you should do it.
40:00
[SPEAKER_01]: It is only reason you need to do it.
40:02
[SPEAKER_01]: You don't need anybody else's permission.
40:04
[SPEAKER_01]: You need don't need anybody else's validation.
40:06
[SPEAKER_01]: If that drive and desire is there in you, that is to me calling and finally.
40:13
[SPEAKER_01]: play to win, do not play to not lose.
40:17
[SPEAKER_01]: And this is something that I had to learn the hard way because playing to not lose looks really responsible.
40:25
[SPEAKER_01]: It looks really safe.
40:26
[SPEAKER_01]: It looks really mature.
40:28
[SPEAKER_01]: Playing to win, like you just said, those people who were having big giant launchers and spending a lot of money on ads,
40:35
[SPEAKER_01]: They are playing to win.
40:36
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, you cannot sit here and go, I'm going to run my business on a shoe string and not have any employees and look how profitable I am.
40:44
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you might be really profitable, but you're never going to scale.
40:48
[SPEAKER_01]: So based on where you want to go, what you want to do, if you've got big goals, you have to play a big game, and that means making yourself uncomfortable and putting it out there in a way that you probably never thought you possibly could.
41:01
[SPEAKER_03]: I do love this, thanks.
41:02
[SPEAKER_03]: This is great.
41:03
[SPEAKER_03]: These are so fun.
41:04
[SPEAKER_03]: There's so many good wins in there and I'm great reminders and also hopefully everyone gets a little more excited.
41:10
[SPEAKER_03]: It's a great thing to do.
41:13
[SPEAKER_03]: I love these listeners so much because every school one of them has people in their lives that they can make an impact with.
41:19
[SPEAKER_03]: And so just all the things you've said, Lacey, if it makes them double or triple that in a way, we just made the world a much better place.
41:25
[SPEAKER_03]: So
41:27
[SPEAKER_03]: Thanks for giving us the honest dose of wisdom and we'll have to have you back to talk about permission because I do think people are waiting for permission slips and we need to figure that out.
41:37
[SPEAKER_03]: What happened?
41:38
[SPEAKER_03]: What's school did they learn this end?
41:40
[SPEAKER_02]: We've got to unravel that.
41:41
[SPEAKER_02]: So we will definitely talk about the you later on that.
41:44
[SPEAKER_03]: So Lacey Newman, thank you so much everyone.
41:46
[SPEAKER_03]: Go DM her hours and then also let her know what your favorite takeaway is, right?
41:50
[SPEAKER_03]: That's a wonderful way to make someone's day and also to help you realize what you took away from this.
41:54
[SPEAKER_03]: Share this with the girlfriend who needs this
41:57
[SPEAKER_03]: Talk who's got someone pulling her crab back into a bucket and until next time be it till you see it
42:03
[SPEAKER_02]: That's all I got for this episode of the Beat Tell You See at Podcasts, one thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review.
42:11
[SPEAKER_02]: And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts.
42:15
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42:19
[SPEAKER_02]: I would love to know more about you, share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it.
42:23
[SPEAKER_02]: Help us and others Beat Tell You See it.
42:26
[SPEAKER_02]: Have an awesome day.
42:30
[SPEAKER_02]: Be it till you see it is a production of the blue pod cast network.
42:33
[SPEAKER_03]: If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at plus one three one oh nine oh five five three four or send a DM on Instagram at be it pod.
42:45
[SPEAKER_00]: It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Leslie Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.
42:50
[SPEAKER_02]: It is transcribed, produced, and edited by the epicteam at Desenio.co.
42:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Our theme music is by Ellie at Apex production music, and our branding by designer and artist John Franco Chilfe.
43:02
[SPEAKER_02]: Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.
43:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Also, to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website.
43:09
[SPEAKER_00]: And finally, the Meredith route for keeping us all on point and on time.