Latest / Because Fuck You That's Why Podcast / Show #195 George Santos Single Ladies Drag Show
Transcript
- 0:00Because fuck you, that's why is a founding member of the Odd Pods Media
- 0:03Network. Hello and welcome to episode one five of b F y tw,
- 0:40the panel show inspired podcast all about playing silly games involving pop culture and the
- 0:46oddest news stories we can find. And we're gonna have a lot of fun,
- 0:50as we usually do, especially as we've got special guests. Once again,
- 0:55we have Kyla, Kyla. Hi, Aaron, how's it going?
- 0:58Oh? I had a friend of my throne? All right, sorry,
- 1:02I really did. I really killed that murdered and Frock got destroyed on air
- 1:15and a hitherto undiscovered member of the Smith family. Everybody, thank you for
- 1:22coming, Thank you for having me. I'm very excited to be here.
- 1:25Yes, busy, so it should be offered, I said, well what
- 1:32about me? My chapliver a welcome. So yeah, we're going to have
- 1:38some fun. The Smith's sisters are going to take on the dream Team.
- 1:45He's a gamer and a storyteller and he used to be my youngest friend.
- 1:48It's Augie. Yes, yes, thank you, it is right, and
- 1:59his usual he's a veteran and a podcaster, and as it turns out,
- 2:02a veteran podcaster. It's Stevie. Yes, it's a hymn. Yes,
- 2:07I made it too. It's a long journey. I always like to do
- 2:14our introductions with a question just for fun, and this week I think I'm
- 2:19going to do Kylo. What is your favorite thing about winter? I really
- 2:27like it when it's evening time and it's just snowed and it's a little twinkly
- 2:31outside. It just makes me feel like I'm a kid again. Yeah,
- 2:35there's something a little magic about that. You can kind of feel it in
- 2:38the air. Yeah, and that clean snow smell. I don't ski anymore,
- 2:45but if I did, I'd want to get out there and roll around
- 2:47like a dog in the snow. Yes, yes, all right. And
- 2:53to contrast that opinion, Stevie me, what is your favorite thing about winter?
- 2:58Going light speed? Sorry, so when you're driving at night you go
- 3:02on to a highway, you turn your high beams on and it's like you're
- 3:06going light speed or early in the morning highway during that guy go straight to
- 3:15the moon. But you mean the appearance of the snow making it look growing
- 3:20much faster than unfortunately, Yes, the vehicles I have have yet to go
- 3:23light speed yet. Yeah, yet you have flown though, yes, if
- 3:29you start to go plaid, you should, it's so good. And Kirsten,
- 3:38you, what is your favorite thing about winter? I see if you
- 3:42can guess what I my day job is. I love snow days. So
- 3:49the timing of the snow has to be perfect, just late enough into the
- 3:53night, like not really get the roads clean. And yeah, that's the
- 3:58best. Absolutely. Do you guys do spoons under your pillows, under your
- 4:02pillow, a white crayon in the windowsill ice cubes in the toilet. There's
- 4:09so many like urban myths and how to how to bring about you know,
- 4:14I uh, snow day awesome. Inside out pajamas, inside out pajamas.
- 4:20So I'm going to go ahead and guess that you're a prison guard, well
- 4:28a teacher. In most days I kind of feel like a prison. Do
- 4:33you do the same things that we would do as kids on snow days and
- 4:39just watch game shows in your pajamas all day? Absolutely, it's a freak
- 4:43a day. Yeah. Yes, that's the best way to do it,
- 4:46really, to make the best game show days. Yeah. Yeah, sugary
- 4:51cereal and then watch game shows and talk shows all day. Yeah, shall
- 4:57not adult on snow day? Yeah? And Finally, Augie, what is
- 5:02your favorite thing about winter? Yeah? With your questions is either I have
- 5:06no answer or too many. Uh, this one I have too many.
- 5:11But if I had to choose, it is the serene silence in winter.
- 5:17I don't know if you, especially at where we live here, Like it
- 5:20is dead quiet in the middle of winter, and it's nice to not hear
- 5:26something for like half a second without all the you know, bleeps and bloops
- 5:30and other sound effect shit that we make. Oh yes, yes, the
- 5:38live arcade, yes, constantly going on in the area. Oh my god,
- 5:43what are you talking about. It's quite comfortable. Its serene, just
- 5:47be able to like walk outside to your porch and just not hear anything,
- 5:51like not loud noises, not the wind, not barking everyday noise is just
- 5:58no noise. Why no bugs? You live in a house ful of people
- 6:01and animals. Yeah, and it's nice to get away from the noise.
- 6:08I don't get where you don't see the connection, all right, you know
- 6:12I kind of get it now, all right? Well, in any event,
- 6:15I'm your host, Pancels Aaron, And my favorite thing about the winter,
- 6:19uh is that it ends. It eventually is over, and you no
- 6:30I do. I do enjoy I can't. I can't really see Kyle's answer,
- 6:36but I agree one hundred percent like that that feeling of just walking along
- 6:40and there's just some sort of sense of like it's some some weird magic in
- 6:46the air of the season is yeah. Yeah, everything, yeah, there
- 6:54there is something about that that I find endearing. But that's about the only
- 6:57thing really. Everything else can go to hell. Yeah yeah. Building mode
- 7:02in the winter, yeah, Hyde hibernation, full blown hibernation. Anyway,
- 7:09I'm breaking out of my shell. We're going to play some games, three
- 7:12games, all very silly. Our teams are going to be playing for fakey
- 7:15points, which every team has the most points in the end gets an earned
- 7:19sense of power and so forth. Dominance, Yes, playing for dominant for
- 7:28dominance, this okay, dominant, play for real over winter, full dominance
- 7:36over Winter. That'd be awesome. We got to the winter has become the
- 7:43new snow misery. I'm a fan of the Winter Warlock from Santa Claus is
- 7:47coming to town because every time they're like, mister Warlock, please call me
- 7:51Winter. Let's get into the game. Game one is going to be like
- 8:01share block. I've got three news stories all our players have to do is
- 8:03figure out which one I would like, which one I would share, and
- 8:07which one I would block on social media. There's only one of each.
- 8:09Whichever team correctly guesses the correct combination or comes closest is going to win the
- 8:16game and earn their team one episode point. Our first story. We're gonna
- 8:20go over the stories one by one, and then once we're done covering all
- 8:22three, that's when I'll ask each team to make their choices. Our first
- 8:26story Georgia. Man steels bus, drops passenger off at a white castle or
- 8:33sorry, waffle house. I said white castle, white castle. I was
- 8:37even looking at the headline when I said that, So that just indicates where
- 8:41my brain is at. Yes, And in Georgia stole a marta bus Marta
- 8:46is an acronym of some kind and took it on a bizarre joy ride,
- 8:50but took the time to drop one of the passengers off at waffle house on
- 8:54his way. He eventually stopped at a park where he tried to leave,
- 8:58but the least had other ideas at that point. Uh so, yeah,
- 9:03that's fun, it's courteous. I mean, it'd be nice enough to be
- 9:05like you hunger, you I'll drop where do you want to get dropped off?
- 9:09I'll drop you off anywhere you want for some grub. Waffle House,
- 9:11I got you Cramer when he was dret Now I'm driving the bus. Yes,
- 9:16you kept making the stops you have to you have like the good stops
- 9:22at least. Yeah, So at that point he just abandoned the bus in
- 9:26a park or I think he was taken from the bus probably Yeah, Yeah,
- 9:31there was a short stand off with police, but he did eventually go
- 9:35that he thought waffle House beat his ass. No waffles at him or chairs.
- 9:41He was past waffle House by the time he was apprehended, so to
- 9:45speak. But yeah, fun stuff waffles. I don't know. I find
- 9:50it weird, like once, once you've made the decision to steal a bus,
- 9:54don't you kind of either to disregard everybody else like it's all about you
- 10:00at that point, you've you've made this decision to be criminally selfish. Well,
- 10:05no, necessarily, either break one single rule or you break them all.
- 10:09There remember g t A. I spent a good amount of time in
- 10:13GTA doing taxi cab runs, being a police like doing the actual the right
- 10:16thing with those vehicles. Even though I stole them. I would so do
- 10:20bus stop runs. I would steal a bus. I would. I would
- 10:24steal a bus in a raccoon costume and drop people off on time. Steve
- 10:28played crazy Taxi and actually played it like a normal taxi Drivers of the Road
- 10:35wasn't late once. Well, it's kind of like hiding in in plain sight.
- 10:39If you follow all the rules, nobody will ever catch you. That's
- 10:41true. That's true, except they caught him except him. Crap, if
- 10:48he didn't stop at that waffle house. It feels like one of those.
- 10:52It was a good idea at the time, but now where do I put
- 10:56this stinking bus? Like where am I going to put it? Dogs chase
- 11:00cars? What happens when you catch them? And I would have got away
- 11:09with it too if I only had a C class license. My question is
- 11:13why didn't the dude also get out at waffle house? Like, if you're
- 11:16going to choose between waffle house and like a local park, I go waffle
- 11:20House every time. Personally, you're going to go to jail after you Yeah,
- 11:26maybe it's not me. I mean you get some waffles before you go
- 11:28to jail, Like what, there's no downside? To stop in the waffle
- 11:31house. I can tell you right now they do not serve waffles in jail.
- 11:37Surprising. It is not. Excuse me, sir, my mimosa is
- 11:45not very but and also the cast of characters you want to vat gay and
- 11:54it's a screwdriver, you should all go steal a bus and got the waffle
- 11:58house. I know we're not going to a park after we've already we've already
- 12:07perfected his issue. Are we going to We're just going to We're gonna leave
- 12:11it there using a bus to get there. We've gone beyond silly. Let's
- 12:15move on. Story number two, A stone age graveyard with no corpses in
- 12:22it is finally explained. They were swallowed. As it turns out, so
- 12:28for years, decades, researchers had declared this finished graveyard to be a graveyard,
- 12:35despite the fact that they could find no human remains. Whatsoever? Did
- 12:37you say finished or finished? Finish okay okay? I was like, well
- 12:43it was done in any event, it wasn't they interpreted. They interpreted all
- 12:50the stones and everything as burials, but they couldn't find any human remains,
- 12:56And for twenty plus years it was this mystery of like, what is this
- 13:00place of graveyard or is it something else? Did we get it wrong?
- 13:01Quicksand no? Uh, it turns out all the cartoons warned us about his
- 13:07children Quicksand they went back recently and did a test of the soil and found
- 13:13it to be unusually highly acidic, to the point where it actually broke down.
- 13:18The entire human body eats bodies so well. With a less acid of
- 13:28content, bodies would stick around for like millennium. Do you think there's acidic
- 13:33worms in there? Because the acid and then there's worms to eat your stuff,
- 13:35and you got an immunity. Worms don't eat bones. Nobody eat the
- 13:39other stuff, the hair and crap. Why because they like hair. Acid
- 13:50eats the bones. The worms eat the dirt that the bones are. Yeah,
- 13:56but the birds, the worms, the birds. I think what you're
- 14:00saying is we people? Yeah, So I think green is people? Kyler,
- 14:05What were you going to say, Like, if there's an air pocket
- 14:09and a bog, they could get just sucked down lower and lower and lower.
- 14:11That's true, and they eventually you're consumed by the Earth's core, yeah,
- 14:15or like you know tectonic plates, you know, it goes down and
- 14:18then it comes back. It makes sense like a roller coaster. Corpse is
- 14:24a little rollers you know, little known fact, Aaron the core of our
- 14:31earth is actually fed by human corpses period explains graveyards. I think you have
- 14:41made a scientific discovery. You put it all together. That's why why it's
- 14:46why we're like slowing down or whatever the hell's going out with our core right
- 14:48now, is because more people are creamyd and so that's why. Yeah,
- 14:56okay, skeleton warriors, I'm going to pretend. Let's move on to story
- 15:03number three. You might adduct you deep. Elderly Welsh couple sad that a
- 15:13bomb squad detonated their lovely garden cannon shell. So this is a a Sean
- 15:20and Jeffrey Edwards considered the cannon shell in their yard to be an old friend,
- 15:28like they had a name. It had sat in their courtyard for over
- 15:31fifty years. Wow, it did not have a name, but they they
- 15:35they they were under the belief at least or had been told that the it
- 15:41was inert like it was no, it was no friend. And then one
- 15:45day a passing policeman noticed it and said, we're just going to have someone
- 15:50look at that. And then the bomb squad came and we're like, uh,
- 15:54no, this is live. Oh yeah, And Sean was like,
- 15:58oh, that's weird. I've been literal really slamming like objects into it to
- 16:02clear dirt and stuff off of my garden tools for decades and yet so I
- 16:11was pretty sure it was dead. Uh the bomb squad took the took it
- 16:15and safely detonated it elsewhere. But now the two of them are kind of
- 16:22they're mourning the loss of an old friend. Get it. I know,
- 16:26I totally understand that that could have killed them at any time, right,
- 16:30like any other person really, so you'll just snap five or fifty years like
- 16:37smacking them with your tools to get the dirt off on. No one checked
- 16:41to see if they're still like gunpowder or anything like that in there, because
- 16:44if there's stuff in it, it's not inert. They're pretty sealed. They
- 16:47probably like put their ear next to it, and it wasn't ticking it here
- 16:51in the ocean, so it's fine anyway, it stop ticking it to worry.
- 16:56Yeah, this is true. Right, So that's all three news stories,
- 17:03and all our players have to do is figure out which one I would
- 17:06like, which one I would share, and which one I would block is
- 17:08Kirsten, You're our guests, so you get to go first. I see
- 17:11this is hard because I think all of these are ones you would like,
- 17:15and all these are ones you would find interesting. But I think, what
- 17:19do you think? Here's your your she's got notes. Of course, my
- 17:26thoughts were that you like the grave sites, that you would share the bus
- 17:30jacking, and that you would block the garden bomb. Yeah, because it's
- 17:33too sad, well, and it's kind of pathetic. It's like, you
- 17:41know, these people thought like a dinosaur was going to hatch out of it
- 17:45or something, you know, like like Closing Encounters? Was it a close
- 17:48Encounters of the just you are these two lovely people Monster egg Dot Stork Friday
- 18:00Baby oh Man? All right, so is that where you're gonna go like
- 18:07the like the cemetery, share the uh the waffle house house and block the
- 18:15bomb squad? Okay, Steve, and you can keep one of theirs,
- 18:19but you'll have to swap the other two, or you can go completely your
- 18:22own way. I completely don't want to copy any of theirs. That sounds
- 18:29like a disse. I just like being really different than everybody. I'm thinking
- 18:34we actually blocked the graveyard one Mamadi's disappearing and whatnot. We go through and
- 18:41share the which one you want to share? You want to share the bomb
- 18:45squad? And then we like the waffle house because waffles. Sure, and
- 18:51you're sharing the message about make sure you check your unexploded ordinances. Yeah,
- 18:57what do you think? Do you think we should share or do you think
- 19:00we should like the bomb squad? Is where I'm really lost? Okay,
- 19:03I think we blocked. We blocked the graveyard, right, blocked the grave.
- 19:07Rock On, got one share the Georgia Man and the waffle house?
- 19:14Yeah, rock On, Okay, I'm there with you. Block the bomb
- 19:17squad and block the bomb squad. It's sucked up blowing up other people's ship.
- 19:19That's how we had. That's that's exactly the same as that's a lot
- 19:25for going exactly opposite Steve. Yeah, never mind, I've been backwards.
- 19:29I was trying to help out. We're blocking the graveyard, we said,
- 19:33right, yeah, blocked the blocked the graveyard, which we know what he
- 19:37said, liking the bomb squad, liking the like the bomb squad, and
- 19:40share the waffles because everybody share waffles. Okay, So I can tell you
- 19:45that I got it right. Neither team got it exactly right, damn.
- 19:52So I chose to share the bomb squad one because I love delightfully the old
- 20:00couples. Something I enjoy funny old people, and it's just something I always
- 20:07have. I I very much enjoy that sort of thing, and just the
- 20:11idea of they took off precious bomb away. Oh no, I know that's
- 20:17a terrible Welsh accent, and I apologize. Cool of those people sounded like,
- 20:22no, that was not Welsh, that was not even close. I
- 20:26liked the the the cemetery story because I thought I thought it was interesting.
- 20:32I'm like, that's like bizarre how an entire cemetery is worth the bodies just
- 20:37gone. But I mean, if the if the if the ground is literally
- 20:41acid, of course they are. And finally, I blocked the waffle house
- 20:48story because I mean, it's it is silly, but it's it's it's just
- 20:53it's it's another story about a probably mentally disturbed person. So it's kind of
- 20:59hard to take joy in that he could have dropped him off anywhere and he
- 21:02chose. I mean, it was nice that he didn't get at least,
- 21:04you know, it wasn't. He wasn't like a total like lunatic. But
- 21:08otherwise it wouldn't dropped them. It would have been it would have been nothing.
- 21:12It would have been no note. You know, nobody would have paid
- 21:15attention to it. So in order to break the tie, I believe Kylon
- 21:22Kirsten got my like right, but you two got none right, which means
- 21:26Kylin Kirsten around if you if you'd gone the other way, you were teetering
- 21:37on. If you'd gone the other way, you would have got the share
- 21:37right and share beats like, so you would have won, but you it
- 21:42is. Well, it's the ties are broken in order of like, how
- 21:45much I liked the story, Share is the most, followed by like,
- 21:48and then block so cool. That's that's how I devised the tie breaking.
- 21:52But anyway, I explained that many times I does never matter. Kyl and
- 21:56Kirston winters. They at one point it is one point to zero, but
- 22:02anything could happen. Game two is coming up and that is gonna be worth
- 22:03two points, and we're gonna play that game. Right after this, we
- 22:14canter up this program to bring you a newsplash Michael Jackson's ghost scene at a
- 22:18Yankees game Cinnamon To's Crunch Now with a shrimp in every bite. Lil Uziird's
- 22:26Head Diamond has been sold on the dark Web. Stories like this and more
- 22:32can be found at the ever Trending Story, a podcast where we peruse the
- 22:36news and write a fun fictional story for you. Find us wherever you download
- 22:40podcasts and follow us on the socials at ever Trending Pod and we are proud
- 22:45members of the Odd Pods media Network. Hey, welcome back. It's time
- 23:03for game two. Game two is gonna be tinfoil hat. I'm gonna ask
- 23:07our players to connect three random things in a bizarre conspiracy theory, and the
- 23:11player who concocts the craziest theory without going too far and losing me will win
- 23:18the game for their team, earning two episode points. This time, I
- 23:22want you to connect these three things the recent ejection of George Santos from the
- 23:27House of Representative, the cartoon show and toy line Skeleton Warriors, and finally,
- 23:36Beyonce's All the single Ladies. I like it. I have no idea,
- 23:41but I like it. Stevian Agi, you guys lost the last game,
- 23:45so you have the choice of which team will go first. We can
- 23:52go first. Okay, you want to go first first? You want me
- 23:56to go? You too, can go first? First? First, you
- 23:57go first first, I'll go first. Second, Doggy. What is your
- 24:02christ all right? Aaron? Aaron, Aaron, Yes, George Santos is
- 24:07not who he says he is, That's all I got. No, that's
- 24:18the truth. Truth, that's it. And you know what, Beyonce is
- 24:22working for him? What? Yeah, So here's the tie in, right,
- 24:27George Santos? Do we really know who this guy is? I mean,
- 24:30he's getting canned because of all the identity theft, Like, is his
- 24:36name actually, George Santos? Is he even human? Do we know that?
- 24:38For sure? He's not like an alien person like or anything like that.
- 24:42I know exactly what he is. So back in nineteen ninety four,
- 24:48there is this show called Skeleton Warriors that aired from September to December only twelve
- 24:53episodes, but there was a secret thirteenth episode that aired that well aired but
- 25:00no one saw it. And that was when the Dark Baron or Baron Dark
- 25:07or whatever the fuck that skeleton's name is, Baron Dark, Baron Dark and
- 25:12his cronies escaped from where were they from Celestia or whatever the hell are from
- 25:22Equestria. Now that's my little pony. That's a whole lot of much.
- 25:33But the thing is is that I know where that motherfucker went. He just
- 25:38got kicked out of the Senate or a house or whoever the hell was going
- 25:44up there the house, the house. There was a house and then he
- 25:48got kicked out of it. And you know what, it was a build
- 25:52up. He was trying to do something, and Beyonce was part of it.
- 25:56She was she was Shriek or Banshie or what was it. They changed
- 26:00it halfway through at some point, yeah, I can't remember. And she
- 26:03changed her name halfway through too. She was like, uh, Jennifer something
- 26:07or not Jennifer something, Uh Sasha Fierce. Yeah, she chose a name
- 26:11like Sasha Fierce or some crap for the album, the very album that.
- 26:15If you play one of their songs back, specifically single Ladies, you can
- 26:21hear the chant Darkest Soul's Evil's Courier serve me as a skeleton warrior. I
- 26:32kind of wish we had this song cute up, so reverse it right now
- 26:34and play that. Oh my god, what the actual hell did you get
- 26:40the bends from that deep dive. Oh my god, do you think you
- 26:47can talk that anybody can to be fair? Though? Let I have no
- 26:52reputation to begin with, because it be all right, mine's short, sweet,
- 26:59and is all factual based on the Internet, because I did some research.
- 27:03I did research, everybody like for real research. So after being ousted
- 27:08of the House of Representatives for ethics concerns and violations from stealing campaign funds from
- 27:15donors, George Santos needed to get things turned around fast. Since this new
- 27:21generation of voters seemed to have a dark view of him, he hatched a
- 27:26scheme. What better way to reach these new use than to relate to them.
- 27:32Santos got some of his stolen funds to get the rights to nineteen ninety
- 27:37four Skeleton Warriors. Creating a reboots are into It makes sense because you know
- 27:44they don't know what the hell they're doing, So creating a reboot you would
- 27:48recast the female lead to both the protagonists and antagonist roles. Since the original
- 27:55concept was to obtain the opposite halves of the light crystal, he only had
- 28:00one true option for the trailer music. Santos used some of that stolen funds
- 28:04to purchase the rights for one time use. In the trailer for Beyonce's single
- 28:11Ladies. The trailer shows the two teams, leads by their female warrior chiefs,
- 28:17clashing to get the crystals. As you hear because if you like it,
- 28:21you should have put a ring on it, as they're both trying to
- 28:22fight for the last piece of the crystal to get the whole piece together.
- 28:27Reboot yo, He's doing it to get the votes of the young hip crowd
- 28:33who reboot everything and change the rolls around and put catchy music to it.
- 28:38All right, Well, you were correct. You couldn't top oggy. I
- 28:41told you it was a valiant effort all the time. Thank you, Kyla
- 28:47and Kirsten. Which one of you two would like to go first? Kirsten
- 28:51prepared in a magnum opus. I may have been working on an actual academic
- 28:56paper. I don't know that thrill. Oh my god, this is my
- 29:03disa. So the Santos skeleton beehive theory in a little like pre teaching the
- 29:11vocab. Here the beehive are the collection of Queen Bees fans, right,
- 29:18okay, So deep within the secret archives of the Illuminati, there exists a
- 29:25bizarre and whimsical conspiracy theory connecting the ejection of George Santos from the House of
- 29:32Representatives, the Skeleton Warriors, and Beyonce's iconic anthem, Oh the Single Ladies
- 29:38All Right. Legend has it, thank you, I appreciate that actors not
- 29:47a singer. Legend has it that George Santos stumbled upon a clandestine gathering of
- 29:56Skeleton Warriors, animated skeletons secretly cont rolled by a clandestine society within the government.
- 30:04These Skeleton Warriors were once created as a super elite force to guard the
- 30:08deepest, darker secrets of the ruling elite. As Santos accidentally uncovered their existence,
- 30:15the Skeleton Warriors, donned in their shiny metallic suits, rhythmically moved to
- 30:21Beyonce's all the Single Ladies Ah. It's believed that the song held mystical powers
- 30:30that were essential for maintaining the secrecy and coordination of the Skeleton Army. Santos,
- 30:37startled by this unexpected discovery, tried to alert the House of Representatives about
- 30:41the undead Army's existence. However, the ruling elite, in cahoots with the
- 30:47Beehive Right conspired to eject Santos from the house before he could reveal their uncanny
- 30:52connection to the Skeleton Warriors and Beyonce's hit single. The conspiracy suggest that all
- 31:00the single Ladies contain hidden subliminal messages kind of like what Oggie was saying,
- 31:06encrypted within its catchy beats and lyrics, which serve as a code to activate
- 31:10the Skeleton Warriors. Some even claim that Beyonce herself is the High Priestess of
- 31:15the Skeleton Warriors, using her music as a medium to command this undead army
- 31:22whereever needed. As wild as this theory may sound, believers claim that George
- 31:27Santos's dismissal was orchestrated to protect the secret alliance between the government, the Skeleton
- 31:34Warriors, and the Queen Bee herself. Wow, he's just a misunderstood man.
- 31:41He's here for the people. That was amazing. Now, did you
- 31:44say believers or believers? I don't want to know. We know who?
- 31:52Yeah, I know one. And there's still this whole undead army somewhere just
- 32:00waiting to take over god knows what. Don't play that song, you do,
- 32:05You're waiting in the bunkers, all right, Kyla do you think you
- 32:09can top that? No? But I think that my conspiracy theory is much
- 32:14much simpler. I think George Santos is a talented man and people are jealous
- 32:21of his drag skills. I can see that. I could definitely see that.
- 32:25Okay, fuck where he was from, which I believe, what is
- 32:30Brazil or Argentina? Who is to know different places he doesn't even know.
- 32:36Has performed every continent his favorite drag song, all the single ladies, and
- 32:43he did. That was his personal goal. So he decided that when he
- 32:46got that personal goal, his next goal would be to run for Congress.
- 32:51He went to his childhood home. He looked under his bed and he's like,
- 32:53there's something down here that's going to help me, and he found a
- 32:57full set of the skeleton were your action figures. You sold them on eBay,
- 33:02and that was his seed money to run for Congress. It is a
- 33:07very simple thing, and you cannot sell stuff with lead in it. And
- 33:13that's why that was awesome. People just that is like the truest one.
- 33:28It was you broke it. And now he's trambling what's This episode comes out
- 33:31Thursday. So now the third part is the judging was Yours was the simplest
- 33:40and therefore not crazy enough to win. But I did enjoy it all the
- 33:44summe. That was awesome. But if it were true, I believe it.
- 33:47Yeah, it's the most believable. Yeah, it really is definitely reality.
- 33:57Stevie, yours was just not as crazy as these two. It just
- 34:04wasn't good. So it literally comes down to Oggie and Kirston, very too
- 34:09good contenders. I think I have to give it to Kirston because Ogie,
- 34:15you kind of lost your did lose a little bit along the way, You
- 34:20lost yourself twice. I gotta take better notes. This is the best thing
- 34:23I have ever done. I should have wrote that thesis. Just the sheer
- 34:28effort and the ending is terrifying. Beyonce controls this entire undead army and can
- 34:35take them, take them over at a at a at a will, just
- 34:37by singing all the single lady. Well, she commanded those dancers, and
- 34:43the government is protecting her in that. If it's not hers, definitely Taylor
- 34:47Swift one of them controls, which one I know it is a slaughter.
- 34:55Kyla and Kirston have won that game as well. The three points to zero,
- 35:02but that's Okay, Stevie and Aggie can still tie the game. Yeah
- 35:07we can if they can win game three. Game three is worth three points
- 35:10and it's coming up right after this. Hey, this is Grabbing the Brisket
- 35:22podcast. Join us every Monday where we talk about the latest trends in barbecue,
- 35:25interviews with world top penmasters, celebrity cooks, oh like we Man from
- 35:30Jackass, and musicians like a rich osol So check us out. We do
- 35:34beer reviews, barbecue fails, so many fires do. A lot of people
- 35:37just burn their houses down for no reason. We also talk about cocaine,
- 35:40hippos versus medigators, learn how to make some tailgate gravy, altercations with Texas
- 35:45Rangers, people throw on Reese's peanut butter cups. Yeah. So check out
- 35:47grab the Brisket dot com for podcast info, viral social media post and so
- 35:52much more. Okay, welcome back. It's time for Game three, where
- 36:07I believe Kyle is just written fart in a speech bubble on her piece of
- 36:13paper, which may help her. She always guess the rules of the game.
- 36:16We are about to play game three, which is the rules of the
- 36:20game, and you all know how to play correct, which one of these
- 36:23is a fart song. This is what we're trying. Is it farting?
- 36:27Because I think she would just in honor of Casey not being here, and
- 36:35she's famous for that's catch. She just farts. It's a good go to
- 36:42in any event. So our players are going to start just playing a game.
- 36:45They have no idea what the rules are and uh, and we're going
- 36:51to keep playing until either the game ends, or until somebody guesses what the
- 36:54rules of the game are, or we are retaliate and kill the host of
- 37:00a possibility. So at any point, any player may shout their own name,
- 37:07which counts as quote unquote buzzing in uh, and they can tell me
- 37:10what they think the rules of the game are. If they're correct, they
- 37:14win the game for their team. If they're wrong, they continue to play
- 37:17the game, but can no longer guess the rules. If nobody successfully guesses
- 37:23the rules of the game by the time the game ends, the team who
- 37:25earned the most points wins the game. If there's still a tie at that
- 37:30point, players will take turns guessing the rules until somebody is correct. All
- 37:35right, and so you can only stop the game to make a guess once,
- 37:38just once, you get one shot at it and then you're gone.
- 37:40No. Then you continue to play, but you can't guess any The ejector
- 37:45seats arening yet. But if you like ejector seats, we need some more
- 37:49patron people. So you tell your friends and you guys lost the least.
- 37:54Yes, do you guys want to go first or second? We lost last
- 38:00time we went first. I'll go second this day. I agree with you,
- 38:05Algie. Change is for the better in that case, Kylin, Kirston
- 38:07you first? Uh, Kyla, Yes, the silence is real. They're
- 38:21just staring at each other. That is this a talking game or not?
- 38:23Who can talk first? Is this a talking game or who can? Invalid?
- 38:30Too many words, Kirsten, mm hmm, staring contest, invalid,
- 38:37too many words. Stevie, m Agi what now? That is literally my
- 38:53fault. I looked at Augie and I said Stevie's name. So confused it
- 39:00was Augie's turn to play, so a Steve wait, Stevie, Oh it
- 39:10took it? Uh? Zero points? Okay, Kayla, Aaron, Aaron,
- 39:22zero points. Augie. You know what I did? I put s
- 39:29plus a as the initials, and that's what's confusing me, you know,
- 39:35that's not a S plus a note pad stories. I put s plus A
- 39:40to be used a team. I look at you, and I see the
- 39:44S, and I say, Stevie, it's my dumb ass brain. I
- 39:47just crossed it off and wrote A plus. What was your answer? Read
- 39:54Stevie two zero points, Kyla William Jefferson Clinton, too many words invalid,
- 40:07Kirsten Art two points, what goober? Stevie Kart two points, Kylaka Mark,
- 40:39Kirsten Dart zero points, No Stevie Zoom two points Kyler Zoom Kirsten zoom
- 41:19zoom. Mm hmm. It's like these too many words invalids, but remarkably
- 41:28you still get one point so many zooms Ogi Domino Stevie Pool two points,
- 41:49Yeah, yeah, you saw that. Kyle No ideo is going on?
- 41:55Okay Kirsten Son Yah one point, Aggie h Charity Stevie mm hmmm, Pie
- 42:19two points, Kayla Hen Hen Kirsten Dog zero points, Ogi, oh Zella
- 42:52all right, Stevie stoop zero ro points, Kyla Cake, Kirsten make zero
- 43:09points, Aggie Apple, Stevie Huge, one point, Kyler hest Kirsten Coffee
- 43:38nice two points mm hmm ougi mmmm good point. I will do knife Stevie
- 43:55zoo that is two points, Kyla bear that's one point. One more round
- 44:20of guesses and then I'll give you your first clue. Uh, pugy banana
- 44:28steebee join that is two points, Kyla, violin harp that is two points.
- 44:58Okay, your first clue. Differences matter, Ogie, this is so
- 45:07difficult. Difference cold cold Stevie hot one point Kyla, mm hmmm fire h
- 45:30banana h that's two points, the mythical fire banana. I don't know if
- 45:42I want one of those. You never know? What do you got?
- 45:46Mh wallet Stevie, but uh spell that for me? B u t t
- 46:00okay? Two points, sweet Kyla, trust we alwish I knew too.
- 46:10Yep, the look on her face was pretty priceless. Just now. Refrigerator
- 46:16awesome, good, one, very good one freezer you have one point hoggy
- 46:35xylophone Steevie. What we have like two ex words, one of them actually
- 46:55the other X word ex ray ye okay. One point. That's fair,
- 47:01Kyla, it's so hard. Uh right, truck truck fork okay? Uh
- 47:15that is one point. Truck fork Ogie Zenith Stevie, whoa. Let's go
- 47:28with whoa w O h Okay, thank you. That is to thank you,
- 47:37Kyla, roller coaster precipitation. We're just breaking out big words and now
- 47:50I'm just gonna use all the stuff I had from college. That is two
- 48:00points. Hog claim claim c L A I m CD gift g I F
- 48:15T Okay that is one point. Okay, Kayla, carpet asshole? When
- 48:42did you go great taste? Taste? That is one point? Very nice,
- 48:49very nice. Sorry, that would be a great role and things they
- 48:58do. You're munching. I didn't mean it like that. I literally was
- 49:07looking at that. Oh my god, before television, television radio. One
- 49:19point, thank you, Kyler. Pancakes, Oh dude, waffles? Yeah,
- 49:30one one last score around before I give you another clue, Augie fish
- 49:38seewee, you need the answer too many words invalid. Remarkably, you still
- 49:52get two points. Crazy, isn't it that I'm carrying? You are beef
- 50:00jerky? One point. It's gonna be like Gulf Rules, isn't it.
- 50:09Sorry, like so many things in my life length matters. Oh, we
- 50:22already knew that one Hi, Drake guy drad I mean so that is worth
- 50:43one point. That was worth it for that hell, yeah, we made
- 50:45something worth something? Uh do you want to guess there? Oh? Crap?
- 50:52Do you think you know what it is? Crap? We have the
- 50:54place for serious you're supposed to. I really had no tea Napoleon about Naparte
- 51:02there, I said it like an Italian personally tense. Sadly, it's still
- 51:09worth one point. Gott it's worth something. Trying to obscure tip that is
- 51:28two points. Kyla Encyclopedia hat mm hmm. One point. What's it here?
- 51:54What's say? Scenery? Scenery mm hmm. Stevie sure spell that please?
- 52:14S h O r E tennis tennis h two points cool two points,
- 52:21that's fair, Kyla sail boat that is two points. Ogi fire truck stevieh
- 52:47water fire truck and water that is two points Kylah Yeah, feather sneak mm
- 53:07that is two points. Kay Buggy graph Stevie pebble one point, Kayla Apachee.
- 53:37I like it hereston Jeep that's two points, Oggy hard Vark Stevie,
- 53:54ice cream too many words invalid? Uh worth two points. Too many words?
- 54:04Ice cream is two words? That that was one? Oh shoot,
- 54:08all these years, damn you something else? Confetti confetti says Kyla fuzz.
- 54:22That is two points all right, one more go around then you'll get your
- 54:28last hint. Hoggie Jazz, Yeah, Stevie, smooth Jazz Jay top one
- 54:45top Jazz, top Jazz, Kyla Rumble, Kirsten join two points. Uh
- 55:02so your final hint. Add your answers together, Stevie. Oh, Stevie,
- 55:10he thinks he's got it. I'm so sorry. If we schear this
- 55:14up I can say you're the one that hears it up here we do Steebee,
- 55:19what do you think are the rules of the game. I believe that
- 55:21the rules are the game is the vowels within the words that myself or our
- 55:28partners are using are what are the things being counted? And as long as
- 55:31it's whoever's got the least amount of vowels in the words, that's the max
- 55:37you can go up to for the second person as well. So if Aggie
- 55:40chose something that has like an A and a E in it, and I
- 55:44have something that with an I and e U, we'd had all four of
- 55:45those up before points, but since they're individual letters, they can't sell each
- 55:49other out. Okay, it's fascinating, but it's wrong. Are you serious.
- 55:53Damn, No, it is not. It is not the amount of
- 55:57owels in the word. Okay, so Stevie, you keep playing, but
- 56:00you can't guess anymore. Uh, Augie, what is your word? Computer?
- 56:07Stevie h m hmm boot b o O T Yeah. Two points,
- 56:23Kayla hm hmm. Genie, Damn, that was it. This is hard.
- 56:32This is hard magic zero points mm hmm. Age twelve wide two points,
- 57:00Kyla oasis Kirsten desert one point, Oggie, is that a nice uh
- 57:28photo? Stevie, seat one point, Kyla question answer. That's two points.
- 57:49All right, three more rounds in the game ends Oggi sign Stevie song
- 58:07zero points, Kyla velcrow tape two points so frustrating. Oops. Uh Two
- 58:24more rounds left until the game is over. Og hm five four but spelled
- 58:45f O r E. That's good to know. Zero points. Laughter.
- 58:59That's a good word joke. That's two points. I think the girls might
- 59:05be getting close. There's only one round left, Hoggie, hm hm.
- 59:12Baseball Stevie cards that is one point. Kayla laundry soap that is one point.
- 59:40Last chance to guess the rules of the game anyone except for me?
- 59:45A girls, you might want to try it. You're behind. He already
- 59:52said his name. Oh no, you want to try it first, because
- 59:55I don't. I did say your name. So I is the rules of
- 1:00:00the game that you must both say words that add up to twelve No,
- 1:00:10okay, that would be cool, all right, Kirsten, Kirsten, what
- 1:00:15do you saying? Say? It has to be one word, and the
- 1:00:19first word has to be longer than the second word, and the words have
- 1:00:22to be related in some way. No, what if I took off that
- 1:00:31last bullet point, that wouldn't change anything. Okay, I still have no
- 1:00:37guess? Still loving? Still all right? Well, Kyla and Kirsten,
- 1:00:45you have twenty thirty five thirty eight points game nice, Aggie and Stevie have
- 1:00:51forty points exactly, so by two points before I have won the game.
- 1:00:55Congratulations, Wow, good job. I mean, they got a lot of
- 1:01:00two points two pointers early, and you guys to a while to start catching
- 1:01:04up. But it was actually a lot, a lot simpler than you thought
- 1:01:08I thought it was going. It was a little more complicated than you thought
- 1:01:12it was. Basically, uh, you each had to give me a word.
- 1:01:15The words could not be the same length. If they were, you
- 1:01:19got nothing, as long as they were of differing lengths. If they were
- 1:01:22odd, if the letter count between both words was odd, you got one
- 1:01:27point. If it was even, you got to You can comply. Oh
- 1:01:32yeah, until somebody give your refrigerator and freezecyclopedia. I'm sitting here going,
- 1:01:40oh god, every single letter forget it literally broke my brain. Start looking
- 1:01:49at big words, just like how do you even spell precipitation? But that's
- 1:01:52why I had to ask sometimes, like when you said, but you can
- 1:01:55spell, but be you T or b U T T? So which one
- 1:02:00you pick? Change sow many points you got? So? Anyway, my
- 1:02:06brain is now yeah, Well, now that I have thoroughly fried altered,
- 1:02:12the store is three to three. It's a no tiebreaker. Everybody wins.
- 1:02:24We take our victories when we can get them. Oh my god, yes,
- 1:02:28it is a win for everybody and a loss for Aaron. Once it
- 1:02:32says you once again devised the game too hard for anybody to figure out.
- 1:02:37I mean that's a good thing, isn't it. I guess I mean I
- 1:02:39don't want you to figure it out right away. Then got to be a
- 1:02:43little bit of a brain. But I mean I also don't want it so
- 1:02:45hard that people can't figure it out. If you whole figured it out,
- 1:02:50we should try this on your inmates. Yeah, yeah, don't enjoy it.
- 1:02:58They might yeah, clean it up a little bit, you might have
- 1:03:00something. Yeah, we've done loads of these, so there there's always a
- 1:03:05different twist of some kind. They usually wind up being word games because it's
- 1:03:09one of the few things that we can do over an audio medium that people
- 1:03:13at home can play along with. But but we've we've also apparently done Battleship
- 1:03:17that was somebody's idea, and hang Man and Hangman. No, it was
- 1:03:22a Hangman murder mystery is what? That was just a Hangman we got from
- 1:03:27a while back. Oh, the one with the letters going up and down.
- 1:03:30Yeah, yeah, that confused a lot of people too. Yeah,
- 1:03:35you guys are really frustrated. Dude, I haven't gone back and listened like
- 1:03:39but you have to be angry as good motherfuckers. At the end of the
- 1:03:45we've kept Kyle and Christen long enough. Thank you so much for coming.
- 1:03:49I hope you've had a good time. That was the whole point. So
- 1:03:52we failed, then we failed. Sorry, this delightful experience. I'm glad
- 1:04:00I didn't break your brain so much that you hate me now? But yeah,
- 1:04:04where can people find you? If you choose to be found? You
- 1:04:08can say nope, just just you can wave at me on the street.
- 1:04:14No, I'm in Kyl of the Kohala on Instagram. I don't post a
- 1:04:16lot, but local fun person that I am. Yes, see me,
- 1:04:19give me a wave full of local fun. Kyler was great and Kirsten of
- 1:04:27course where if you wanted to be found? But I can't imagine if what
- 1:04:32do you think? Be nice to teachers? Yeah, just be nice to
- 1:04:39teacher. I was also thinking I am single so we could leverage I'm kidding
- 1:04:50now, I'm not kidding about being single. Any eligible bachelor's out there,
- 1:04:59that's the lot that's gonna be it from us, I think. So just
- 1:05:04do the wrap up. You can find me at Pantsles Aaron, you can
- 1:05:08find Steviads. You can find Augie at Aggie Dogy zero right. You can
- 1:05:13find the show at b fy t B Podcast, send us emails at b
- 1:05:15fy TW podcast at gmail dot com, or check out our website bfy tw
- 1:05:19pod dot com. And if you enjoy the show so much that you want
- 1:05:23to support it by throwing money at it. You can also join our Patreon
- 1:05:27at patreon dot com slash b f y tw It is just five dollars a
- 1:05:31month and you get all the extra behind the scenes goodies as well as extra
- 1:05:35shows that we do just for Patreon subscribers. So if you enjoy the free
- 1:05:40funny, why not try out the paid funny and see what's up. There's
- 1:05:43good stuff there too, including me on edibles. That's a trip and a
- 1:05:46half, all literally literally quite literally. In any event, if you want
- 1:05:53to leave us a voicemail, you can do so on our website bfy t
- 1:05:56b pod dot com. Under the contact us section, there's widget let you
- 1:06:00leave a ninety second voicemail and if we like it, we'll play it on
- 1:06:02the show. And as we have done pretty much all of our voicemails ever,
- 1:06:06I think, including the weird ones. So you know, yeah,
- 1:06:11we're not choosy, We're not choosy. We're pretty open about it. So
- 1:06:14record your part. I'll play it, I'll do it, I'll put it
- 1:06:17on the cell board. I won't even tell them what it is. We
- 1:06:20got a voicemail, you just named your own punishment. That spoke part yes,
- 1:06:28and that I believe is going to be it from us. Why because
- 1:06:33you're not going to do it. And I'm like, I realized at the
- 1:06:36last second I hadn't told the ladies what to say. I got it,
- 1:06:41let's do it. Why because that's why? Yes, quick games. So
- 1:06:54who's touching the squid so we can play? This is a race? Is
- 1:06:57it just like a relay like they give the squid a guy? Yeah,
- 1:07:00well, I don't about those words.