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Kill, Creepy Kid... Kill! (Promo) · Movie Meltdown

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Kids are dumb, which reads me to my first point
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: in this of movie threats.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: So before I get to the movie threat, which does
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: involve how children are evil. Yeah, somebody that I know,
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: who shall remain nameless, recently divulged that they're with child.
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: I know this person also.
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: No. Okay, good. Not that I'm aware of, and it's
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: for the best, really. But they... This is number four. Oh, boy.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: That's never a good way to start a story. That's
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: a lot to deal with. And again, I don't question
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: your life decisions. That's your call. But there was like
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: one and then a gap. And then the last, this
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: three is within a five-year period. I literally said to
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: him this week, I think it's time we had the talk.
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: I don't think you understand how this stuff works. They
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: don't just show up, you know. There's things that lead
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: to these children. So, yeah, kids. I'm not sure. And again,
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: if you, I mean, occasionally kids turn out all right.
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: You know, that's nice. If you love your child, that's
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: the reason to have them, I suppose. What I don't
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: understand is financially, how the hell, because I know where
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: you work, you ain't got no damn money. How do
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: you have four children in the world we live in?
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: So, I don't know.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: Can you guys tell me, where do people get money
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: for children?
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: I don't know. I ask that question every day, too.
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: with the people that i work with i don't i
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: don't get.
• 2:02
  Speaker 4: It i think once you have one then you've already
• 2:05
  Speaker 4: got all the stuff.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: See this is the logic you use for that dog
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: when you're getting a dog and you're just like well
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: i've already got yeah i'm already buying this big bag
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: of food i might as well have another dog yeah
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: so same goes for cats i guess but i i
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: draw the line when we get the children i'm like
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: but no i don't want to buy kid chow like
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: probably doesn't even make gravy when you put water in
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: there like.
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: I have a friend who has four children. And when
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: I found out the fourth one was coming, I was like,
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: good Lord. He's like, ah, four is just the same
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: as three. And I was like, you don't understand math.
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: And therefore, I don't think you.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: Should be doing this. You shouldn't be in charge of children.
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: You don't even know the basics of math. Or where
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: these things come from. I keep trying to tell people
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: to just stop.
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: Just stop.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: There's a lot of kids already. Let's take a break
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: for a while. Take like 10 years off. And then
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: we'll all start having kids again. By we, I mean
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: somebody who can afford it. I don't understand. I was like,
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: is there like a magical fairy that comes out and
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: gives you money every month? Because I feel like it's not.
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: It's a leech child that you just had that sucks
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: all your money. So how the hell can you afford
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: this child?
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know.
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: That was already enough to process at that point. And
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: then I saw the movie Delivery. Delivery. which sometimes on
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: the original poster is just listed as delivery. If you
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: look it up, sometimes it's colon, the beast within.
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: This is.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: About a child.
• 3:38
  Speaker 4: Within the uterus?
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: Within the uterus, I suppose. Okay. The beast within you
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: right now. Then it also has the tagline, not every
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: child is a blessing.
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: Jeez.
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: They are also very not into kids. Okay. So, the
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: back of the box here says, Delivery, The Beast Within
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: tells the story of Kyle and Rachel, a young couple
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: who agree to document their first pregnancy for a popular
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: reality show. During the production, following a series of disturbing
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: paranormal events, Rachel begins to believe that a powerful force
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: of evil has possessed their unborn child. Set against the
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: backdrop of never-before-seen footage deemed too shocking for air, Rachel
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: and Kyle's family and friends recount in the terrifying ordeal
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: that is blah, blah, blah. I watched the trailer. When
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: it came on, I thought I clicked the wrong thing
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: because I thought it was actually a bad made-for-TV docudrama
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: about somebody. Like, here they are having a baby. And
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: I was like, it looked really... cheesy and i was
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: like oh god this is i don't want to watch
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: this show and i was like oh.
• 4:51
  Speaker 5: Fuck this is the trailer i was like oops i
• 4:56
  Speaker 5: uh so yeah it's very i think even one of
• 5:00
  Speaker 5: the things that pops up on there is it's like
• 5:02
  Speaker 5: it's like rosemary's baby meets paranormal activity and like that's
• 5:06
  Speaker 5: there's a lot of camera fixed in the corner of
• 5:09
  Speaker 5: the room while she was walking around looking creepy and
• 5:12
  Speaker 5: And then, I don't know.
• 5:14
  Speaker 4: I feel like that's giving them a lot of credit.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And even then, I feel like Paranormal Activity isn't
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: like top tier of horror movies. It found its fan base,
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: but I still don't know that most people would put
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: it as like the finest achievement in cinema.
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: This has gotten a lot of glowing reviews from organizations
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: I have never heard of.
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah. It's because it looks relatively cheap when I watch
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: the trailers. So, yeah. Not every child is a blessing.
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: That was my takeaway. From hearing people having children and also,
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: you know, this might be a demon baby.
• 5:54
  Speaker 4: I feel like there's so many like pregnancy horror movies
• 5:58
  Speaker 4: that focus on like demon babies when all they really
• 6:01
  Speaker 4: need to do is be like, did you know that
• 6:02
  Speaker 4: the baby leeches calcium from your bones and your teeth
• 6:05
  Speaker 4: can fall out? That's a real thing that happens.
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: Did you know that the baby can give you diabetes
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: and make your eyesight change? I mean, these things are terrifying.
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: Did you know that that baby is going to need
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: something from you for the rest of your life? You
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: might think it's 18 years, but you're wrong. That kid
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: will come back asking for shit. I'm speaking for myself
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: at this point. For the rest of their life. And
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: you'll be like, why? Why did I have this damn child?
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: And like decades later, they'll still be leeching off of you. Kids!
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: They say the darndest things. Much like we do when
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: we say things like this.
• 6:47
  Speaker 4: You wouldn't expect that to be that creepy. But, like,
• 6:51
  Speaker 4: genuine goosebumps and chills when that happened.
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: And I'm always impressed. There are several, one of the
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: most disturbing scenes, just broad daylight out in the middle
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: of things. And I'm just like, it's different when it's
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: in a spooky house in the dark and, like, at
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: night and, like, all of that stuff. But I'm like,
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: this one is just... coming at you yeah like you're
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: just like whoa whoa what the hell is going on
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: here and like so yeah it's surprisingly fun and disturbing
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: all at the same time yeah yeah it is what
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: these movies do best it's just like it's tonal it
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: was very atmospheric it's super atmospheric tone is there the
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: sets the costumes the creepiness is all.
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: Baked right in there fun costumes in the sets and
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: the lighting And the weird fog.
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: Fog machine. And I dug the music.
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: It was so all over the place.
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: And then as I looked into it, none of it
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: was for this movie. It's just cobbled together from a
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: bunch of stuff. Some of which are his other movies.
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: But it had the look of a, almost of a
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: Hammer film. Some gory moments that are made more interesting
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: because they mix the blood and the gore with like,
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: purple sparkly unicorn.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: It's a unicorn. So, you know, that's bound to happen.
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: That's the weirdest part. It makes no sense. Like, tonally.
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: I mean, by the end, I was like, man, this
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: needs to be over soon. But at the same time, like,
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: I almost want other people to see it just to
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: realize how weird it is. Like, how unconventionally put together... Tone, writing, characters,
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: you name it, none of it makes sense.
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: He was the best evil robot cowboy I've ever seen.
• 8:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's very intricately woven.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: Very funny moments.
• 8:56
  Speaker 4: Very scary moments disturbing stuff.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: It's just such a good premise like once i got
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: into the first like 15 20 minutes of like oh
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: that's what this is gonna be overall about and i'm
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: like well this is just creepy in general like even
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: without the potentially supernatural part of it i was like
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: this is just weird and creepy and you kind of
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: hear versions of this this is a little bigger version
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: of it but like there's weird stuff going on out
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: there in the world. That's kind of similar to this.
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: So that's, I think that makes it a little creepier
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: that like, this is the sort of stuff you might
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: see on YouTube and think, well, this is fake, but
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: like in this story, it's not fake. It's all going
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: on in their little life.
• 9:34
  Speaker 4: So when it was so like original, I think there's just,
• 9:39
  Speaker 4: it's very, very easy for most horror movies to all
• 9:42
  Speaker 4: kind of fall under something that has been done before.
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: This isn't a normal subcategory of anything. So really, it's
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: very different what's going on in this one.
• 9:53
  Speaker 4: What would the autopsy show anyway? How would that help
• 9:57
  Speaker 4: you determine if she was murdered by a ghost or not?
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: Period, I don't know how accurate they are anyway. Your
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: CSI skills are probably pretty minimal at this point.
• 10:05
  Speaker 4: I feel like you, yeah, it's like, yes, she's impaled
• 10:07
  Speaker 4: on a fence.
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: There's a hole here. I think this was the way
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: she died. That's where all of her blood came out.
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: That's probably what did it.
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: I feel like autopsies at that time could tell you
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: you were dead.
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: It could reveal that something is missing if it's missing.
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: But I don't think they could dust for ghost fingerprints.
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: Like, this director is, like, highbrow. He knows Helen Mirren,
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: for God's sakes. Like, so none of this surprises me
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: until you get to the movie, and you're like, all
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: of this surprises me. I don't know what I'm watching
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: right now. And then at some point, like, again, she...
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: i was just like where is this coming from why
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: does it happen now in the movie how does it
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: factor in later it kind of doesn't and isn't a
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: thing anymore like i don't i don't know what's going
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: on in this movie like i assumed it was just
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: going to be like street horror type of thing for
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: the most part and then watch that trailer and was
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: like is this just a comedy that has horror overtones
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: like it's more of a horror that has comedy overtones.
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: Okay either way kind of i can't figure out if
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: they were trying to make a funny scary movie or
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: a scary funny movie and they just.
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: Couldn't quite sometimes those work but not always i was
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: like if they did that beforehand and they painted her
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: with that giant skull like First of all, you're metal
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: as hell. Yeah. But on top of that, I was like,
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: that's a pretty grim photo. If this is like you're
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: like just capturing your child in their youth. Go sit
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: over there. Hold that. Hold grandpa's skull.
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: And this is 1960 whatever. If you wanted a painting,
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: you had to actually paint it. You got to get
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: the extra blood out because ghosts. like extra blood.
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: If you had that blood, they'd have to kill you
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: to get it. But if you don't have any blood
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: in you, then you're safe.
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: And you won't get killed. They don't like dry humans.
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 12:06
  Speaker 4: That was also, it happened so nonchalantly. I was like,
• 12:10
  Speaker 4: isn't that the big reveal?
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: There's a lot of nonchalant in this movie. For a
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: movie where a bunch of people get murdered, there's also
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: a lot of nonchalant attitudes. Haunted portraits.
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: Sure.
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: I assume I'd put those in if they weren't already there.
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: I have one of those already. That's true. Check that out.
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: But that's your own evil presence. Me from the past. See?
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: Ghost child. You are your own ghost child.
• 12:37
  Speaker 4: And that's what I say to myself every day when
• 12:39
  Speaker 4: I wake up in the morning.
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: As you wake up and stare in the mirror and
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: be like, you are your own ghost child. You can
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: do it. Let's go murder some people. So go to MovieMountdown.com.
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: Click on the special banner on the right hand side
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: of the page and join the meltdown horror club and
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: then you can give your money to us instead of
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: a child so stop stop planning these children and start
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: planning on giving us money because that's obviously way more
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: important yeah and a hell of a lot cheaper i
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: can tell you that they're gonna steal your calcium one
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: way or the other but be prepared for the money i.
• 13:17
  Speaker 4: Asked my friend who just had a baby about the
• 13:19
  Speaker 4: teeth thing and she was like yeah.
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, my teeth fell out. All of them fell out.
• 13:23
  Speaker 4: She's like, yeah, they felt like looser and kind of
• 13:25
  Speaker 4: wiggled around. I was like, that?
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: That is a horror movie right there. Why are you
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: not screaming? What are you talking about? What?
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: If someone locked you up for nine months in a
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: garage somewhere and pulled your teeth out just enough so
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: that they were loose but didn't fall out and made
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: you gain, I'm not sure what the average weight is,
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: so I don't want to.
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: A good amount.
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: A good amount of weight. And make it so that
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: you had to go to the bathroom every ten minutes
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: and gave you hemorrhoids and you couldn't sleep and you
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: had heartburn. You would not look back on it as
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: the greatest time of your life.
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: Again, this is kind of a horror movie right there.
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: You don't have to do anything else. And then you're
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: given the demon bundle of joy. So, there you.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: Go. Oh, my evil child.
• 14:17
  Speaker 4: Oh, my evil child.
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: I said, Lord, maybe you can help
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: Her because she's a strange and evil child.