Latest / Head Shrink Inc. / Traditions and why they are important

Transcript

Traditions and why they are important · Head Shrink Inc.

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Hey friends, welcome to the Doc David Head Shrink Inc.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: Show.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_01: We're going to talk about traditions today.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: You are listening to Head Drink Inc.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: Your Answers to Life, Relationships, and Daily Living.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_01: Hey guys, it's Doc David here.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Head Shrink Inc.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: podcast.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: It is pouring outside.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: There's like flood warnings.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: It's been raining nonstop.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm not talking just talking drizzly.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_01: I'm talking heavy downpour rain.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_01: It's the kind of I don't know about you, but when I'm in a building, when I'm sleeping and I hear the rain pouring down, it's for for whatever reason, it's a very comforting feeling.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_01: So that happened last night.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: It was pleasant, but then I wake up and I think, oh my goodness, look at all this water everywhere.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_01: So if you've thought, oh, I should move to the Pacific Northwest, you should only move here if you want six months of gray rainy weather.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: That's what I'd say to try to discourage everyone from moving here.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: So we are uh right in the middle of the holiday season.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: So about two weeks ago, I think it was, maybe three weeks ago.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um I I suppose I could look on a calendar and figure it out, but I'm too lazy to do that.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: So two or three weeks ago was Thanksgiving.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_01: And some people love that, some people hate it.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: Uh next week is Christmas.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: Some people love that and hate that, and then next week is New Year or New Year's, depending on who you are.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so some people really either love the holiday season and some people despise it.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: Some people say they despise it because it brings up uh family memories.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um a client of mine has had um significant deaths um during holiday season, so they're not big fans of it because of the memories that it uh that it has for them.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: Others don't like the capitalism piece, they they think that uh money shouldn't be um spent like it is, and so I mean there's lots of different reasons, but I'm talking to the people today that enjoy it.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_01: I guess maybe I'm talking also to the people that don't enjoy it, but maybe give you a different perspective on it.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: One of the things I think is important to consider, set the capitalism thing aside, um, tradition.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: Let's talk about tradition.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: So, what is tradition?
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um, tradition, I think, is a a way to identify your culture and more specifically around holiday, a way to identify your family.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: There's things that are unique in your family that your family does and no other family does.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and that's what I think traditions are, that's how I view traditions um during the holiday season.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_01: Now, now why do I think traditions are important, and why do I think you should think traditions are important?
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_01: So here's a couple reasons why I think they should be important.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I think one is that traditions often can pass along family history.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I've seen some posts on Instagram where people are posting stuff like, oh, look at this, my grandma made this, or my great grandpa made this, or my grandpa's father, my grandpa's grandpa.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know, I'm getting too too lost in the generations.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: But, anyways, get I you get the idea, right?
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_01: So there's things that um are created in the past that we bring out during the holiday season in the present, and then we tell stories around those things, whether it's an ornament that your grandma made when she was a child, or um you made and you're giving that to your kid um as an adult.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_01: So there tradition, I think, is something that can be used to pass along family history.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I think I think that's important.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_01: That's part of the identity that your family has.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um, another reason is that traditions can help create family memories.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: My um children and I we have this funny saying if if we're trying something new and we just say, hey, we're just making memories, which is which is literally literally true.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: You're making memories, and I think that's what another reason traditions are good for, is that they're a way to make memories and then they're a way to keep memories going.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_01: So you can um talk about.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: I remember when I was whatever, and we did this.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_01: So in my family, actually, um growing up, we would have two Christmases.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_01: We'd have a Christmas over at my grandma Simonson's and a Christmas over at my grandma Cornwell's.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_01: And my grandma Cornwell's every uh Christmas Eve, there was uh chili and clam chowder available for dinner.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_01: I have no idea why those two things were chosen, but as sure as the sun would rise, those were rock solid choices and certainties on Christmas Eve.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think about those that fondly.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_01: I think um of walking up my grandparents' stairs to the kitchen to help myself to some soup.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I mean, when I was a child, I didn't think much of it, but as an adult, looking back, I can I have fond memories about that.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_01: And one of my my parents, my grandparents are passed on, but one of my aunts has tried to do that um tradition with her family, I believe.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_01: Anyways, that's that's a um family memory that I'll always have.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: Now, the interesting thing, my kid we don't do that in my house.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_01: My kids won't don't have that memory.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so a lot of times you when you're adults, when you have your own kids, you get to choose what kind of traditions you make, and you get to choose whether you continue on a tradition that you did um growing up.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_01: And if you liked it, enjoyed it, and you thought it was valuable, then guess what?
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: You get to continue that on in your family.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I also I know another family does polar plunges as a tradition, and I that seems miserable to me.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: There's probably some families that go on hikes, which again seems miserable to me, but that's that's what those families get to do, right?
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: That's their tradition, it's how they're making uh memories in their family.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_01: Um, another another thing, and this uh maybe goes back to the first one a little bit, but I think um traditions offer a time to reflect on those who've come before you.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: It offers a time to reflect um on just um things that have happened in the last year.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: So a lot of times around Thanksgiving, people will sit.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: I did another um, I think either a video or podcast on where you know the inevitable question comes up around Thanksgiving.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_01: What are you thankful for this year?
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: And a lot of times people just say, oh, I'm thankful that I have a job.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_01: They don't like think deeply about it.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think traditions offer an opportunity, and I legitimately think it's an opportunity, but but I think people often don't think of it as opportunities.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: They think of, oh, we just do this thing.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_01: But I think traditions offer an opportunity to really kind of dig a little deeper into your family and think why where did this tradition start?
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: What is this tradition about?
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um why do we continue to do this tradition?
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_01: And so those kind of questions can be asked and passed on to the younger generations, and then those younger generations get to decide if they want to continue on those traditions as well.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: Well, why are we doing this?
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_01: We've always done this.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: Grandma Susie started this, and so then you have conversations about Grandma Susie and the thing, good things that you remember about her.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_01: So I think um yeah, traditions are definitely a way to reflect on those who've come before.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_01: And finally, I think there's lots of reasons you can have tradition.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_01: These traditions, these are these are my ideas on why traditions are important.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_01: But I think finally, um doing traditions allow for intentionality.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: I think a lot of times in our life we um just kind of go through the motions with things.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_01: Get up at five, go to work, eat lunch, go to work, come home, eat dinner, uh maybe do homework with the kids, then go to bed and rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: And so the holidays come around, and it gives an opportunity to get out of that rut, to get out of the rinse and repeat cycle, to get into this intentional place where this is what we do around the holidays.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so I know that is the menorah, right?
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_01: The candles that get lit for Hanukkah.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I think what a great thing because that is a great way to be intentional about something.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like this is the night that we light this candle, and why are we doing this?
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: And then having the explanation behind it.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that that's something that um is a is a real opportunity to do during the holiday seasons is to be intentional and be purposeful about things.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of times um in my world, parents come in here and they try to be really intentional with their parenting and they're just doing it really poorly.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I think I think it's great that parents try to be intentional.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, my wife and I try to be intentional when we can remember to be intentional.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I think holidays can really or holidays and traditions around holidays can really point you to um intentionality in things.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: And so if if you haven't thought about that before, I'd really encourage you to think why are you doing these traditions and how can you be more intentional in your conversations around these traditions?
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_01: So I have a I have someone that puts up uh they love Godzilla, who knows why?
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: Godzilla is just a made-up thing.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: So this person loves Godzilla.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_01: So they just told me the other day they have 15 Godzilla ornaments up on their tree.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I asked, well, why do you love Godzilla?
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_01: And the answer was, why don't you love Godzilla?
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_01: So I didn't get a I didn't really get a direct answer on why they love Godzilla.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um and and so I would challenge you, if you have a tradition this year, that you ask, why are we doing this tradition?
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_01: And if you think you know, then maybe share why you're doing that tradition.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_01: Because I think um it again allows for intentionality, allows for deeper conversations, and with deeper conversations comes greater emotional intimacy between family members.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_01: And and and I think that's a that's definitely a positive.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_01: Now, you may be from a family where you're like, I don't want to be emotionally intimate with with these family members.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, that's fine.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_01: You can do it with friends, right?
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_01: I know that in some people have a friends giving.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: I guess you could have a friendmas day, Christmas Day.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know how you translate that into friends, but you could have a get together with friends and talk about your traditions.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_01: And maybe you'll start a new one because you hear about a cool tradition.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_01: Anyways, I think traditions are important, and so hopefully um you are inspired to be a bit more intentional this year.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I would love to hear what your traditions are.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_01: So come over to my Facebook page.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna post this over there and share some traditions.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_01: A tradition that we have in our family is pajamas.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_01: So every year we get pajamas and they're matching.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_01: And so then we take our matching pajama Christmas Eve picture.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_01: And that's just a tradition that my wife and I do, and it creates a little bonding, a little closeness, and it creates pictures that our kids can take on into their own families and show their own kids someday.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_01: Alright, I'm Doc David.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_01: This is Head Shrink Inc.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_01: Have a great, happy holiday.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_01: However, you celebrate it.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_01: I hope that you find it fulfilling, and I look forward to talking to you again in a couple weeks.