Latest / ok storytime / My husband has PRIVATE photos of my best friend… but swore they were innocent! -r/BORUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP3091

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My husband has PRIVATE photos of my best friend… but swore they were innocent! -r/BORUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP3091 · ok storytime

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Angie. And this is Dakota, your favorite
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: OK Storytime hosts. And we've got some great stories coming up.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: But before that, we have a quick two-minute break from
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: the sponsors that keep this show running. My husband has
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: explicit photos of my best friend, but swore they were innocent.
• 0:15
  Speaker 3: They were simply boudoir photos. I, 38 female, genuinely hope
• 0:21
  Speaker 3: that you guys can convince me that I'm overreacting, but
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: I feel like my life has collapsed.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: I've been married to my husband, 38 male... for 15
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: years and we have a teen daughter. So like any
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: couple that's been through all that, we've obviously experienced the
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: ups and downs, the highs and the lows over the years.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: We both have busy schedules and we haven't been extremely
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: consistent in the bedroom, but we make sure to find
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: time for ourselves alone at least once or twice a month.
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: On a recent Saturday, our daughter was at a sleepover,
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: so I was hoping to have some intimate time with
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: my husband. I spent probably 20 minutes cleaning up the
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: kitchen and then I went to our bedroom. When I
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: walked in, I quickly realized that he was touching himself
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: spicy sleepily to something on his phone.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: Oh no.
• 1:05
  Speaker 4: Yikes.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: He pulled up his pants and tried to act like
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: everything was normal.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: He pulled up his pants and he said, hey babe,
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: what are you doing here?
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: But I'm not stupid. I'm not opposed to one-on-one pleasure time.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: Though it does make me feel a bit inadequate. This
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: is not the first time I have caught him doing it.
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: So I asked him to tell me what was on
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: his phone. He said no. And he walked out of
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: the room, but I followed him and eventually got him
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: to show me. He was looking at a photo of
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: my 37 female best friend in lingerie.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: That's actually the most insane thing you could ever do.
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: That's like diabolical. That's just like my confidence shattered.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: Oh my God. All it took was her being like,
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: show me, show me. He's like, fine. It's your best friend.
• 1:54
  Speaker 4: Fine. Fine.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from throwawayfarsky6185. And if you
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: want to submit your own stories, go to the r
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Savannah.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: I'm Dakota.
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: And we're here to give some good advice goofily, but
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: we don't have all the answers. We'd only tell you
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: what we would do. Let us know what you would
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: do down in the comments. As Opie says. At that moment,
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: I wanted to combust. Yeah, same. I was convinced that
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: they were sleeping together and that my life would fall apart.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: I yelled and screamed and I don't know exactly what
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: I said. I cried a lot and so did he.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: After a while, my husband convinced me to hear him
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: out and he profusely apologized and he said that it
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: would never happen again and that it was the stupidest
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: thing he ever did. I told him that it felt
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: like he was cheating. He promised that he never would,
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: but he acknowledged that he had breached a line and
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: that he should never have. My husband tried to explain
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: the situation like it was an innocent interaction. He said
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: that he had been texting my friend, which I knew
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: he did once in a while, I text her husband
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: too sometimes, though mostly in a group chat, about possibly
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: getting me lingerie as a gift sometime. He says that
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: since we have similarly curvy body types, He asked her
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: for some advice and she went to the store, tried
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: some on and sent him photos of her recommendations.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: Okay. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah.
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: That's weird.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: That is so much more suspicious than just being like, yeah,
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know why I did this.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: This is ridiculous.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: You can just say the fact that she's like sending
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: like photos of herself in them to you is weird.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: That's weird.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: Big boundary cross. Why didn't she just send like pictures
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: of it?
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: Not on.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: In my mind, that's an insane explanation.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: Yes, to anyone.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: Never in a million years would I send photos of
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: myself in underwear to my best friend's husband if he
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: asked for recommendations. My husband showed me all of his texts.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: And that was basically what they were saying, but it
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: just doesn't make any sense to me. There were three
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: photos in total, but I only had to look at
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: one to feel confident that she knew what she was doing.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah! Girl! Obviously. Girl! Are you actually believing your husband's
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: story here?
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah. No, I.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: They're both guilty. Yes!
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: She was wearing a tiny sheer set that seemed to
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: emphasize the fact that she does not have a single
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: speck of hair down there. My husband promised to block
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: her number and never do something so stupid ever again.
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: I don't know that I believe him, but I also
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: don't know what else to do. I am still so
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: angry at both of them. I still have not said
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: a single word to my friend about this, and I
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: don't know that I will have the heart to for
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: a while. She clearly knows something is up because I
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: haven't responded to her texts or seen her since this happened.
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: I would welcome any advice any of you have. Advice?
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: I would definitely take space. I'd take space from the
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: husband and I'd take space from her. I would tell
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: her that I know. I'd be like, hey, I know
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: what you did. Don't really want to talk about it
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: right now. But, like, yeah. Don't expect to hear from
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: me until I'm ready.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: You're insane.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: Me?
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: Respectfully, how on earth do you see this and then
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: not immediately go, I need every detail I can get
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: to figure out what the hell is going on right now?
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: She's sending like lingerie recommendation photos. My husband say, no, babe,
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: we're not cheating. It's just that. And then gives the
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: most weird, ridiculous explanation of all time. I'm like, I
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: don't trust that. I don't trust anything. I need to hear.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: I need to confront and hear everyone's perspectives right now
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: to get the story straight. I wouldn't be like, hey,
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: I'm going to let you concoct, you know, I'm going
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: to let you guys get your ducks in a row
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: here and, you know, create a defense plan. I'm going
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: to blitz. I'm saying, tell me everything that you know
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: right now. What's going on? Why did this happen? And
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: if you tell me a shingle difference between what my
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: husband said, I'm done.
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: I mean, I would just be done anyway. Like, I
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: would just be like, I don't trust you ever. Like,
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: ever again, I really don't. There is no trust there.
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: There is an update here. 14 days later, a sad
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: update to my earlier post.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: Divorce?
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: Basically, you guys were right. My husband cheated on me. So,
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: he has been staying somewhere else for the last week.
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: It's crushing. I didn't send the photos to a group
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: chat like many of you told me to, but I
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: did talk to my friend's husband. Afterwards, he approached her
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: and she told him everything. Apparently, she had had spicy
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: sleep with my husband a handful of times and sent
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: him many photos on Snapchat. She says they both agreed
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: a couple months ago to stop, but I don't really care. Oh,
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: as long as they had plans to stop, I guess
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: that everything works out fine then.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: We all agreed that we're going to irreparably damage our
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: relationships and then just go back to it like it
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: never happened.
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, what? I never want to see her or talk
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: to her again in my life. My husband again apologized
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: over and over and insisted that he would never do
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: such a thing again, but I don't think this is
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: going to work.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: That's when you go, you're right, babe. You won't ever
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: cheat on me again because we're done forever. Boom.
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: The cheating is really bad, but the lying is absolutely heartbreaking.
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: We haven't told our daughter yet because I'm not sure
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: that I have any of the right words.
• 7:21
  Speaker 4: Ugh.
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: I just hate this. It's like these types of people
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: don't think in the long run. It's like, oh, we're
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: just having fun right now, blah, blah, blah. Well, we
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: plan to stop at some point and then never say
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: a word. Like, no, it's obviously going to come out.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: A silly man wanted to wet his willy.
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: And now you've ruined not only your life, but your
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: wife's life, your child's life, and your friend's life.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: I guess don't tell your daughter to hate her dad,
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: but she probably will. Yeah.
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: You could be like, well, I mean, I would definitely
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: get both of you into therapy for sure. Just to
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: like talk through things and try to figure out ways
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: to cope with, you know, your feelings and emotions because
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: there's going to be a lot, especially when you're a
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: teenage girl.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: My God. Just try to co-parent with dignity. Grace.
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. But that's the end of that story.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: I caught my husband secretly searching for hidden cameras. It
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: made me panic. Who's watching us? I am confused and
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: just at a loss for words. I have a wonderful
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: relationship with my husband and we get along great. We
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: genuinely love spending time together and have what I'd consider
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: a healthy marriage. We have an eight month old baby
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: and we parent well together. When I say we have
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: a great marriage, I really can't think of anything negative
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: about it. Our disagreements consist of petty things like him
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: forgetting to take the diapers to the trash and the
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: diaper pail is full. or me forgetting to transfer the
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: laundry over because I'm ADHD, lol. I was sitting next
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: to him, and he was looking up something that we
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: were discussing. When he opened his phone, I noticed a
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: private browser open, and he was looking up hidden Wi-Fi cameras,
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: like the ones the size of the head of a pin.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: He closed out of it really fast, and I thought
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: I was mistaken. My curiosity got the best of me,
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: and I looked at his phone. There it was, exactly
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: what I thought. By the way, this comes from Fruits
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: of the Spirit. And if you want to submit your
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: own stories, go to the r slash ok story time subreddit.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: I'm Dakota. And I'm Savannah. And we're going to read
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: this weird little story about CIA spy cameras. And we're
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: going to have our thoughts, and you get to have
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: your own. And you can put them in the comments,
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: and we'll read them.
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: Mwah.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: And OP says he was on a private web page
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: looking at purchasing a small camera you could place anywhere
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: and it wouldn't be seen by the unassisted eye unless
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: you knew where to look. I found this a few
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: days ago and I have no clue what to even think.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: I can't imagine why he'd be looking at them, especially
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: on a private browser. He never uses private browsers. Sauce.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: I mean, everybody uses a private browser. At some point.
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: I have been feeling uneasy and wondering if he is
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: planning on spying on me or just running possibilities on
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: what use it has through my mind. If he got
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: cameras for the inside of our home, I feel like
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: it would be your standard ring camera, not a small
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: spy camera. I don't even know how to bring it up,
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: if I should bring it up, or what to say
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: to him. I do not feel good about this, and
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: I don't know how to even express that to him.
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: It's been bothering me a lot, and I'm not sure
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: if I'm overreacting. He didn't purchase it, that I know of,
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: and I checked our Wi-Fi connected devices, and there's nothing
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: I don't recognize. Am I overthinking this, or do I
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: have a valid reason to feel this way? I just
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: feel icky and uncomfortable. I'm not sure what to do
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: from here. Well.
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: It is weird, that's for sure.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: I think the first thing you do is you go
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: to your husband and you go, Are you in the CIA?
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: Are you in one of those three-letter agencies? Because why
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: are you buying spy cameras? And then he goes, Huh? What?
• 11:04
  Speaker 4: Aw.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: And you go, Ah, no, I saw her. Just tell
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: me what you're doing. Or he goes, keep your voice down.
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: They're listening. Shh, shh. I think that's really weird. And
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: I don't know why he would be looking up by cameras.
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: I mean, I would definitely ask about it. I'd be like, hey,
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: are you planning on spying on me or what? Or, like,
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: are you afraid of... Are you paranoid in our house?
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: Do you, like, need these for something? What's going on?
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: Like, I truly have no idea what these could be
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: used for. It doesn't make sense he'd be spying on you. Yeah. Right?
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: I mean, unless.
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: Unless you gave him a reason to, but I don't know.
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: You said you think it's a happy marriage, so.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: Could there be, why would he need to know your home?
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: Why would he need to know your, or maybe it's
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: so that he knows you're not home. So OP shared
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: the camera link in the comments. OP says, I wish
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: this wasn't happening, but unfortunately it is. I'm 99% sure
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: I have found the camera link that he was looking at,
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: and I guess the whole thing is slightly bigger than
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: a pin, but it's really small and easily hidden. And
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: there are some comments from OP. My ex-boyfriend, prior to
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: my husband, had a really bad problem with tugging his
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: tender to adult entertainment. And he would watch it on
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: his way to work, at work, on his way home,
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: next to me on the couch, without me even knowing.
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: Et cetera. What?
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: How did you not know? He's just watching it for entertainment?
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: How do you not know? He's just sitting there watching
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: it with a blank face. Completely infected.
• 12:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah, like.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: Dude, that's like, oof. That's like one of the worst
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: ways you could ever exist. He ended up cheating on
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: me all the time, hiring spicy workers when he'd work
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: in the office a few days a week, slept with
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: women in our bed when I was out of town
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: for my grandma's funeral, and all kinds of sick stuff.
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: That made me very insecure in that relationship and ultimately
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: led to the end of it. So, of course, my
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: mind goes to bad stuff. I hate to even think
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: that way because I don't think it's healthy or fair
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: to seep your past relationship trauma into a new one.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: But it's really hard not to, especially when I have
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: zero inclination on what else it could be for. Genua says,
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: does he work out of the house? Do you guys
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: have a neighbor you want to catch doing something? OP says,
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: I appreciate that. He lays tile. So it definitely is
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: not work related. Well, thank God he doesn't lay pipe.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: You'd be in real hot water then. The part that
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: really weirds me out is if it was anything harmless,
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: he'd talk to me about it. We're very open to
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: each other and talk about everything. I call him like
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: five times a day when he's at work because we
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: just love talking throughout the day. He calls me when
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: something is frustrating at work or when we want to
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: gossip between each other. We have an open line of communication,
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: which is why this is really bothering me. I sort
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: of love it says, honest communication is the only way
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: to move forward. Boom, short and sweet and to the point.
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: OP says, I don't even know how to broach this subject.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: We've never had anything even remotely close to something like
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: this happen. I am not a very confrontational person in
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: general and have always struggled having hard conversations. Hearing that
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: makes me think you actually have no idea if your
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: relationship is healthy or not.
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, especially considering all the things that happened in your
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: last relationship that you weren't aware of. I'm kind of like, Opie,
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: are you a little oblivious?
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're like, oh, our relationship is perfect. I never
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: confront him about any problems that we have.
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it would seem perfect.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: But it's so good. Anyway, which is one big reason
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: I love him so much. He's never given me a
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: reason for a conversation like that in the past. Genuous has...
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: He literally works in bathrooms. This definitely would be weird
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: to me then, too. What do you mean he works in... Oh. Oh.
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: Oh. Ooh. I think we both had the realization at
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: the same time.
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: It might not be for your house.
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: It's going to be for someone else.
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: It's going to be for the bathroom of other people?
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: Oh, uh-oh.
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: Oh, no.
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: Oh, no, no, no.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: Opie says, I'm not making excuses at all, but he'd
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: have to know someone's Wi-Fi password to connect the camera, right?
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: And I checked his email and nothing was purchased. I'm
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: a stay-at-home mom, so I see all of our mail
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: before he does, and there isn't another place he'd get
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: a delivery at. It was not on Amazon, so he
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: isn't using a locker. I hope it's nothing sinister and perverted.
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: I would be devastated.
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: Oh, God.
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: Also, OP, I hate to break it to you, but, like,
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: do you know how easy it is to make, like,
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: a spam email and a junk Amazon account? Like, for real. Like,
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: you know? Which is why it's, like, it doesn't do
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: any good to just theorize about what this stuff is.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: You saw this. You need to go to your partner
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: and go, hey, I saw this. What's up with you
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: looking at spy cameras? That caught my eye.
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: And then if he acts weird, then you know it's
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: something bad.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: Who you spying on? Yeah. What's going on? Kinder nurse says,
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: are you a stay-at-home mom? Or do you have a
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: nanny or daycare? OP says, I'm stay-at-home mom. Snafu says,
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: have you thought he may think you are cheating on him?
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: If that's the case, he will want to either find
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: out that he is wrong or wants to see proof.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: Getting a spy cam would let him put his mind
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: at ease without raising suspicion from questions. Opie says, no,
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: I do not. He knows I am super loyal and
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: that I would never bring men into our home around
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: our son. Plus, we have a ring camera at the door.
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: I am 30 and he's 38. Nothing crazy. He just
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: isn't techie. He hardly uses social media and really is
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: not on his phone often, which is another reason I'm
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: weirded out by his sudden interest in the camera. And
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: there is an update.
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I got to know what this is about. I'm
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: really confused. I like am racking my brain trying to
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: figure out what this is going to be used for.
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: I really don't know.
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: I think he's either putting spy cameras in like public places.
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: Or he thinks you're cheating on him.
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think those are the only two options here,
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: unless it's some freaky thing that we are just overlooking.
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: Well, we got an update two days later. I sat
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: down with him after he came home from work and
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: I just asked him about it. and why he was
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: looking at that. He said he was looking at getting
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: security cameras for the outside of our home. We have
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: a Ring doorbell camera and had Arlo cameras outside, but
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: they weren't great, and the batteries were always failing after
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: like two days, and he constantly had to charge them.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: We ended up taking them down when we moved. He
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: was watching a video about different cameras and saw a
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: really tiny one, so his curiosity started getting the better
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: of him, and he wanted to see how small they
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: could make cameras. I really believe him, though, because he's
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: never given me any creepy vibes, and he hasn't had
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: any weird spicy sleep or tender tugging tendencies. And prior
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: to us being together, he was celibate for years. So
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: he holds himself to a high moral standard, which is
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: another reason it caught me off guard. We talked about
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: security cameras a few months back when he was taking
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: them down, but we never revisited the conversation again. So
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: my understanding... Is that, I mean, unless you're putting them
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: in like a bank vault, like the point of security
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: cameras is kind of to make them obvious. You want
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: the security cameras there so that if a thief looks
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: at your house, they go, I shouldn't even try to
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: break into this house. They've got cameras all over the place.
• 18:33
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: Well, I don't know, because if they see it, then
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: they can destroy it. I don't know. I'm still weary
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: about it, I guess. But why on a private browser?
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: And then he deleted it real fast or whatever. That
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: seems suspicious to me.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: Wait, yeah, that is true. As far as the private
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: browser goes... He isn't good with technology, and he said
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: he had no idea he was in that tab, which
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: I actually do trust him because when he went to
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: show me, he was still on the private browser and
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: had a bunch of normal tabs open. So he was
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: using it like he would a non-private browser and didn't
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: know that was a feature. I can also believe that
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: with you saying he was like 38 and not techie.
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: He's just like, I don't even know, whatever. I don't
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: know how to turn it off. That's where all my
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: tabs go now.
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: I don't know if he's innocent or not.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: I can't tell. I believe it.
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: He has really good alibis.
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: All the skeptics that will say there's no way about
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: not knowing the private browser was a thing. He grew
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: up Amish and poor, so he had no access to
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: electronics until his 20s. So with that additional context, yeah,
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my, holy cannoli. They make cameras the
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: size of a pin i gotta get me one of
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: those i i'm i was poor and amish i didn't
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: know you could have pin cameras he doesn't lock his
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: phone half the time before putting it in his pocket
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: so i've had him pocket dial me a million times
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: So it is probable that he was on the internet
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: and it switched to private when it was in his pocket.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: He doesn't have face ID to enable that feature. I checked.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: I trust this curious Amish man.
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm just on the fence about it.
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: It's like 50-50. He could be completely truthful and just
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: be like, I'm just oblivious to all of this. Sorry.
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: I'm like, boomer.
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: I don't get it. Or he could be very much
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: like conniving for some odd reason.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know. So like him pocket
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: dialing the whole time has been like, it's all been
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: a clever ruse. Him pretending to be technologically illiterate has
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: just been a long con.
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: Not that.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: That he can put tiny cameras in people's bathrooms. I
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: don't know. He's an Amish tile layer. He's just a
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: man of the earth. He's a simple man. My conclusion
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: is he actually was just deep diving into cameras and
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: got lost in the sauce. His body language was normal
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: and he didn't seem alarmed that I saw it. He
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: just chuckled and was like, oh yeah, you seen how
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: small those things are? Isn't that crazy? I deep dive
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: in all kinds of topics in my phone and it's
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: just out of pure curiosity. I was with a tender
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: tugger and a cheater prior to him who would have
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: probably planted cameras in bathrooms, so my trauma from that
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: relationship took over. Mystery solved, and I feel a lot
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: more at ease. And there are some comments here. HeftySugarnaught6044 says,
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: That Amish detail definitely explains the tech confusion. Glad your
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: gut was right, and it wasn't anything shady. Opie says, yeah,
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: he was homeschooled until high school when they moved away
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: from the Amish lifestyle. So he definitely isn't as tech
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: savvy as most. I think that's another reason that the
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: size of the camera was fascinating to him. He has
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: no pictures of his own childhood because I guess pictures
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: are against the Amish. And when he was like five
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: or something, they joined and they made his parents burn
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: all their photos. I don't want that lifestyle.
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: I don't know about this, man.
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: How are you.
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: Still not convinced? I don't know. What do you mean?
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: There's something off.
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he grew up Amish and homeschooled. That's what's off
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: about him. Now he's 38. If there was something off,
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: he wouldn't have been like, oh, yeah, the thing I
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: was looking at. Isn't it crazy they get so small? Yeah.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: I don't think so, bro. I don't know. I trust this.
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: You've got a weird radar sometimes.
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: What do you mean?
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: I mean you've got a weird radar sometimes. You're like
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: the homeschooled 38-year-old Amish man who doesn't even know how
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: to use a private browser tab.
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: I don't trust it.
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: I have two photos from his childhood because his grandparents,
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: who were not Amish, held on to them, thankfully. Crazy stuff.
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: Misanthrope X says, I do not know how it can
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: even accidentally switch to private browser. I mean, you just
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: literally can. I've done that.
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: This person has a lack of imagination. You literally have
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: to open a menu and click open private browser. What
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: are the odds? Hope he says he doesn't have face
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: ID and he never locks his phone when he puts
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: it in his pocket. He has pocket dialed me. I
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: can't even tell you how many times. So it is
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: not unlikely that he put his phone in his pocket
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: after looking at something on Safari and it swapped. I've
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: heard of crazier things. I could tell by his body
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: language and the way he reacted when I asked about it.
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: He was still on the private browser. And when I
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: showed him how to swap it, he was very confused
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: and didn't realize it was a feature. I know my
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: husband and his reaction told me he's being 100% truthful.
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: I definitely believe him. Thank God we have somebody who
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: can actually be like, yeah, no internet. I actually know
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: my husband and I can tell you with 1000% certainty.
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: He did not lie to me because I know him.
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: Shut up.
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: No, I believe him this time.
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: Don't even believe him. Believe OP.
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: She was with a crazy man for years and didn't
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: even know.
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and now she's with the Amish man who's like,
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: get a load of these tiny cameras. I mean, if
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: you're really guilty, like, would you really have the private
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: browser open and then da-da? You know, him closing it
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: fast must have just been like a random thing. I mean, sometimes,
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: you know, sometimes you just close your phone around. But
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: if you grew up Amish, you wouldn't have that impulse.
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: Close your phone around. What's going on anymore? I don't know.
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: OP, as long as you trust him, that's good. You know,
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: problem solved, problem solved. Then live happily ever after.
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: the next one.
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: My wife mocked me beyond repair, so I'm secretly filing
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: for divorce.
• 24:53
  Speaker 4: Oh.
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: Um, okay. I, 27 male, never posted because I was
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: too insecure and embarrassed. and I took solace in the
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: idea that there might be some way to dig ourselves
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: out of this hole. But lately, things have been very,
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: very bad, and last night was the cherry on top
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: of a horrendous year. My wife, 27 female, and I
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: had our third child on February 2nd. The last time
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: we did anything spicy-related was a week or so before that,
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: and the passionate kissing stopped shortly after. Intimacy and our
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: relationship were perfectly fine, after the first and second childbirth,
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: so there was no sign things would suddenly go sour
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: after a third was born. Lately, whenever my wife senses
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: I might be wanting spicy sleep, she makes overt references
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: to her period coming up or being on it, which
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: is strange because she was saying the same thing a
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: week or two prior. Two periods a month, sometimes that
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: happens with hormones and everything, and also if she just
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: gave birth, she is bleeding profusely. A few months after
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: things started going downhill, I turned to handling things myself
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: in our bathroom. I never thought it would come to that,
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: but there was a lot of pent-up frustration and longing
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: for fulfillment that I missed. There's nothing wrong with that,
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: is there? Last week was our coldest yet. Um, a
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: little pecks on the cheek, forced embraces before work, and
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: a lot of cold shouldering and short answers all day,
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: every day. By the way, this comes from, is that
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: all there is 15? And if you want to submit
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the r slash okay story
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: time subreddit. I'm Savannah.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: I'm Dakota.
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: And we're here to give some good advice goofily, but
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: we don't have all the answers. We only tell you
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: what we would do, but let us know what you
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: would do down in the comments. As OP says, the
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: worst offender was last night, and it's what finally made
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: me post. It was an impersonal evening as always. After
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: dinner and putting the kids to bed, I went to
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: the bathroom for my nightly shower and wank. Midway through,
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: my wife barged in, I forgot to lock, stared for
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: a few seconds, cackled, and walked out shaking her head.
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: And now you feel embarrassed because you didn't have a
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: talk and instead she found you doing that. I jumped
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: into the shower without finishing.
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: Quick, everyone cry.
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: Like, oh no.
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: That was the audience.
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: She didn't say a word about it or any words
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: at all when I came back to the room and
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: got in bed. She was reading a book and I
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: was browsing Reddit. When I put my phone aside and
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: laid down a few moments of silence later, she said,
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: just so you know, Your wiener.
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: Is getting small.
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: Why would she say that?
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: What? Is that a thing?
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: I didn't respond and I haven't seen or spoken to
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: her since. Is the marriage over?
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: Bro, honestly, you know what? We're dunking on the OP
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: on this one. Being married to you sounds like an
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: absolute nightmare. This is a guy who's just like, everything
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: is not my fault whatsoever.
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: Are my young children oblivious to the lack of chemistry?
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: How do I communicate with her? And where should I
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: see this going from here? And there's an update.
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: Talk to her.
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: You have to talk to her. She's also part of
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: the relationship.
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: Ding, ding, ding. What?
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: I know it's a surprise, but she also can probably
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: communicate what she's looking for as well.
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: Update.
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: Since some people are private messaging me asking what other
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: emasculating gestures my wife has made this year. Danced with
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: half a dozen other men on a booze cruise for
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: a friend's birthday in September. The last remotely datey thing
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: we have done. Constantly jokes to her parents and close
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: friends about me becoming a neglectful father if I'm five
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: minutes late from work. Storms through open doors whenever I
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: hold them for her and doesn't say anything. Ignores me
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: completely when I say good morning every morning. Sent me
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: into the lady's restroom with her two older children, both girls,
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: and made jokes about it to strangers at the mall.
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: You honestly sound like the least fun person alive. This
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: is the kind of stuff that you're keeping a list of?
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: You're honestly pathetic. I hate to say it. I just.
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: I mean, like, yeah, I guess if these are. But
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: the thing is, have you talked to her about it?
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: Have you expressed that these are problems to you?
• 29:14
  Speaker 4: No.
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I'm going to go out on a limb here
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: and say absolutely not. He probably just went upstairs to
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: the bathroom to tug his tender about it. Yeah. And
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: so it's like, dude, this is my wife's fault that
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: I'm doing this.
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And if it's like if you have a problem,
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: you need to talk to her because how does she know?
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: We are not mind readers. Just like you guys are
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: not our mind readers.
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, even if it is a problem, it's like, shut up.
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: It's like not. I'm sorry, but like. me telling my parents, yeah, oh,
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: he was late five minutes from work. Yeah, next, better
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: watch out this guy. This guy's going to go get
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: the milk and never come back. And if that hurt me,
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: I'd go, hey, I actually take being a father very seriously.
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: And it hurts me when I hear you say things
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: like that. And then she might go, oh. Oh my god, okay,
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: I'll never make that joke again. Instead, you're just freaking
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: tugging it, bro.
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: You're sweeping everything under the rug and then tugging on it.
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: You're sweeping and tugging, man. What are we doing?
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: You just sweep and tug, sweep and tug. Insisted I
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: walk 10 feet behind her at the grocery store so
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: people wouldn't assume she was married. The list goes on
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: and on. Through everyone's comments and a lot of deep thinking,
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: I've realized my marriage is being held hostage by my
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: own wife, the woman I married because we were in love.
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: I had a one-on-one talk with her last night and
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: brought up some of the great points people posted. She
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: turned each and every one against me and made it
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: seem like I was conspiring to ruin our marriage. She
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: told me she's allowed to not talk to me if
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: she doesn't want to, and that spicy sleep was never
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: part of any contract when we got married. When I
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: hinted that divorce or separation might be an option if
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: the hostility continues, She told me she wasn't going to
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: let this marriage become a failure and that was that.
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: Last night was the first time I was sent to
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: sleep in the guest room of my own house. She's
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: no doubt phoned her parents because I've received numerous calls
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: from my father-in-law to my office all day, which I
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: have declined 100%. The children are being looked after by
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: the nanny right now and things will be back to
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: normal tonight. by which I mean she'll keep being cold.
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: For the record, my wife and I are both full-time
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: workers who split responsibilities for the kids, with the nanny
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: while we're in the office. She is not a stay-at-home
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: mom like a lot of you assumed.
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: Facts.
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: We got married six years ago. She started withholding spicy-related
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: activities shortly before the birth of our third child. Her parents,
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: or at least her father, are 100% on her side
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: and have made my phone explode whenever there seems to
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: be a minor problem in our household. Okay.
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: Opinion shifting.
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I didn't think this... Like, OP, I don't think
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: that you're a bad person, but I mean, having these
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: one-on-one talks and then she just shuts you down, like,
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: that's not a good feeling. So I understand why you've been, like,
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: you know, doing the deed on your own.
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: I do, yeah. I thought this was only happening for
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: a couple months, not for three years. I thought this
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: had just started. I didn't realize this was happening for years.
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: Got married six years ago. She started withholding the activity
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: three years ago. Wait, shortly before the birth of our
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: third child.
• 32:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: Oh, never mind.
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: I'm an idiot.
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: I don't know. It really just depends how you worded it,
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: because I could also see UOP being very dramatic about
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: it and pointing it into a like, woe is me perspective.
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: But I'm going to keep going. We have not done
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: anything spicy related since January of this year. Edit, I'm
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: going to consult a friend from college who works in
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: law and see what he suggests about starting a divorce
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: process without my wife knowing. Tonight, I'm going to sleep
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: in my own bed, and if she doesn't like that,
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: she can take the guest room. I'm going to help
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: my oldest with her homework, serve my children dinner, and
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: enjoy the solace of my own home.
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: Okay, I have, I gotta, I gotta look up, I gotta,
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: I gotta look up the date. He said January of
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: this year, I need to look up when this was posted.
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: Because if you're going to stop... All of the other
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: reasons he said, other than being like, oh, walk behind
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: me in the grocery store because I don't want people
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: to think I'm... I don't want people to think I'm single.
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: If that's not like a funny ha-ha, if that's for
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: real for real, I don't even think I stay after that.
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: I think that starts a very real conversation of what
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: the hell did you just do in the grocery store?
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: And if you really feel that way... We can make
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: that happen, actually.
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: Could get twisted.
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: I'm torn because the way that she's reacting isn't great,
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: but also the way he's reacting isn't great either. So
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm up in the air because we
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: got a second update. As you can imagine, it's been
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: a chaotic week intensified by the upcoming holidays. I met
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: with my lawyer friend over the weekend and had a
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: five hour heart to heart. He reiterated a lot of
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: the comments from the threads and said he and others
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: had noticed little things here and there throughout my relationship.
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: It was a relief to finally have honest support from
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: someone in real life. He advised me to get copies
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: of documents proving full or partial ownership of our home, cars,
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: and other items, and I have secured all of that
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: as of today. I have not seen my wife or
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: children since Sunday. When we had a loud argument, I
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: yelled at her for the first time and she called
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: me a loser and blamed the impending doom on me.
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: I have 75 plus missed calls from her and her
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: parents and even more texts, some from our oldest saying
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: she doesn't want to see daddy anymore. I suspect my
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: wife and her parents put her.
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: Up to it.
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: I mean, I don't it just seems like this marriage
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: is not working. It seems like neither of you want
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: to put in the work. You're complaining about this. She's
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: complaining about this. It doesn't seem like there's any compromise
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: happening on either side. So, yeah, I think best thing
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: here is for a divorce if that's.
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I wouldn't want to be married to either one
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: of you.
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: I'm bracing myself, but the plan is in motion. My
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: friend introduced me to someone who can help me file,
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: and the estimated time for my wife to be served
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: is by the end of the workday. My only regret
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: is that I won't be there to see her face,
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: though after rereading the threads all week, I'm sure I
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: never want to see it again anyway. Some of you
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: will be pleased to know I'm not barricading myself in
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: a cheap motel, but treating myself to a well-earned stay
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: in a luxury hotel in the city right by my office.
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: Figured I might as well enjoy life before things punt off.
• 35:27
  Speaker 2: Room service and housekeeping all the way. Lots of love
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: and happy holidays, everyone. I'll be spending mine locked in
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: my hotel room eating peanut butter sandwiches all by myself. Congrats?
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: I don't know if this could have been salvaged. I'm
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: really not sure. But from the looks of it, it
• 35:45
  Speaker 2: seems like you were just done with it and she's
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: done with it. So at least someone's doing something about it,
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: I guess.
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. I feel like there's like two
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: different versions of this story and we read them at
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: the same time. And one is like he just like
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: there was like a snowball rolling down a hill and
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: he just like watched it roll and get bigger and
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: bigger and bigger and bigger. And then he tried to
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: stop it and it rolled over him. And he went,
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: there was nothing I could have ever done about this. Yeah.
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: Which is like, no, you could have just reached your
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: hand out and stopped the snowball a little earlier. Yeah.
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: By being like, hey, do we hate each other? What's
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: going on here?
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: It doesn't seem like you can salvage anything from this.
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: Seems like this was over a while ago, but neither
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: of you said anything, which is also very weird. So
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: you just kind of sat in it and was like, well,
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: this is it. I guess we just have to get
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: used to it. But nobody wanted to get used to it.
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: And so then you just argued. And then it just
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: became this mess. And also thinking of the timeline, he
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: said they hadn't been, you know, like, or this had
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: been happening since January. And now he's saying happy holidays.
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: So now I'm thinking it has gone the entire year.
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely.
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So that's just crazy. I mean, maybe you should
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: have done it sooner if you were that unhappy. I
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: don't know. But I wish you both luck. And hopefully
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: everything can work out in the end. I'm not really
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: sure it will, though.
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: the next one. Hey, it's Dakota, your favorite good time
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: boy host here. We're gonna get back to the stories,
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. I
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: rescued my neglected cousin and half of my family disowned me.
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: Well, at least it's not all of your family.
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: Me, male 30, and wife, female 27. Own a sizable
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: farm that's usually the nexus of family events. Five bedrooms,
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: three bathrooms, 300 acres. And hookups for four campers so
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: the whole clan... don't like that word, can stay for
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: extended visits in the summer. We built it that way deliberately.
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: My cousin Bill, male, early 50s, has a daughter, Alice, female, 18,
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: from his first marriage. His first wife was an immigrant
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: with no family here or back home. She passed away
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: when Alice was two and Bill remarried Tanya, female, early 50s,
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: six months later. Why do I feel like that needs
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: to be like a crime documentary? Like someone needs to
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: look into that. His first immigrant wife with no family
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: anywhere mysteriously passes away, and six months later, Tanya walks in? Coincidence?
• 38:16
  Speaker 4: I think not.
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: They have since had three kids, male 14, male 12,
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: female 8. Alice is a brat. Everything in their house
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: revolves around the boys or their princess, and Alice is
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: left behind.
• 38:30
  Speaker 4: I thought it was to show the boys.
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, wait. That's not typically the recipe for a brat.
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: The neglected brat. Yeah, true.
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: Usually I have to get too much attention than a brat.
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: Alice doesn't get to go on family trips. They wouldn't
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: pay for extracurricular stuff. She couldn't take elective classes with
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: extra fees. I'm not a smart man, but I can
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: recognize a kid that's hurting inside and being neglected. She's
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: like Mr. Hyde with them and Dr. Jekyll elsewhere. For
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: the last four summers, she's been coming to work on
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: my farm because her parents don't want her around over
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: summer break. She turned 18 recently, and her dad was
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: very adamant she was being ungrateful. removed from their house
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: when she turned 18 because it will teach her responsibility.
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: By the way, I'm responsible to let you know that
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: this comes from Striking Emphasis 34. If you want to
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: story time subreddit. I'm Dakota.
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: I'm Savannah.
• 39:25
  Speaker 4: I'm Keon.
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: We're going to read this story and talk about it
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: and maybe give some advice, but we don't know everything.
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: So keep that in mind as you leave your own
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: comments telling us what you think. And OP says, We
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: discussed it. And early on her birthday, we pulled up
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: with my truck and packed her stuff. We only took
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: things she had purchased herself or that were given to her.
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: My boss got creative with our benefits provider so we
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: could get Alice on my medical benefits until she finishes
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: university so she can go to therapy and get back
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: into sports while saving her money. He reads this subreddit
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: a lot so even though this is a throwaway, I
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: know you'll read this, chief. This is where it all
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: comes apart. Bill and Tanya are pissed that we took
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: her in and refused to come to family events. Part
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: of the family refused, too, because I'm undermining Banya. I'll
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: understand when I have kids. Then a few others said
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: that with gas so expensive and not everyone attending... They'd
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: skip as well. My answer of okie dokie, come if
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: you want and don't if you don't further upset people
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: who thought I should have tried harder. So now we're
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: down to about a fourth of the family at events.
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: That's so annoying. When people go, yeah, I don't know
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: if we can make it. And you go, OK, well,
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: make it if you can. And if you can't, don't
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: worry about it. Then they go, wow, check a look,
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: get a load of this guy who doesn't care at all.
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: See, that's why I just go to everything because I
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: just feel bad. I can never be the victim.
• 40:56
  Speaker 4: You're your own victim, Savannah.
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: Anyway, my aunt suggested we have Alice over on weekends
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: and that she stay in a dorm during the week
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: to smooth things over. I think that's dumb, but I'm
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: dumb and stubborn. My wife thinks it's dumb, too, and
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: she's really smart, but she's also very attached to the situation.
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: Alice said she'd rather stay with us but would try
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: the dorms to make peace. Am I the a-hole for
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: not going with the dorm suggestion to keep the peace?
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: What's up with Alice? Why is the whole family united
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: in not liking Alice?
• 41:31
  Speaker 4: Because she's not in Wonderland right now.
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: Is she the only child of.
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: Or maybe just because she's a girl?
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: Maybe because her mom was, uh, different? I don't know.
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: I don't... I don't know! This is a complicated family
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: politics situation, and I don't like it. There's an edit
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: for info. I called Alice a brat, but it's typical
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: teenage acting out. Cranked up. Slamming doors. Screaming matches with
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: her stepmom. Swearing. Three or four big blowouts a week.
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: Over disproportionately small stuff. All right, that's a lot. Maybe
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: that's why she's not included in the stuff. Three or
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: four blowouts a week?
• 42:13
  Speaker 2: Wait, are you saying the mom has three or four
• 42:16
  Speaker 2: blowouts or Alice? Alice.
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: Alice is having blowout matches with freaking a crazy.
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: I want more context on her.
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: But see, okay, so that's why OP's talking about like
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: what I see underneath the blowouts is just Alice is
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: like a kid that needs help and attention and therapy.
• 42:36
  Speaker 4: Yeah, what came first, the chicken or the egg here?
• 42:38
  Speaker 4: What came first, Alice being disregarded or Alice having the
• 42:42
  Speaker 4: blowups and all this stuff? What came first?
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: Well, I got to say, if I'm Alice and my
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: mom passes away and then my dad remarries a different
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: woman six months later, I don't think I'd like that woman.
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: I don't think I'd be able to like that woman
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: without extensive assistance.
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: This is true. Anyway. Anyway.
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: I've watched Alice grow and the acting out definitely came
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: after the exclusion from family stuff. Edit two mini update.
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: I ripped the bandaid off with the old fam jam
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: and told them fewer mouths to feed isn't the punishment
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: they thought it was. That anyone still coming is welcome
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: and that I'd use the extra cash to help the
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: folks worried about gas prices make it out. I'm in
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: like four family group chats and they're all lighting up.
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: I'm turning my phone on silent and letting the sparks fly.
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: And there's a third edit. All righty. Here's the update.
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: We're all about Team Alice. She is a Redditor apparently
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: and came across the post independently. There were tears born
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: of stress and relief. And she's staying here with us
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: until she's ready for the next chapter. She's got classes
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: picked and is looking into a women's rec hockey league.
• 43:57
  Speaker 4: Get your anger out.
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: Honestly, that would be best.
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: Big news, everyone. Tanya drove down this morning. Bill and
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: I had some very loud, very angry words when he
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: came down last night after I chose the nuclear option
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: in the group chats. So Tanya actually waved a white
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: flag from her car when she pulled up. You guys
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: are fun. You guys are fun. I actually, you know what?
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: I like these guys. Imagine you put, you're in an
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: argument with someone and they pull up to your house
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: and they wave a white flag out of their window.
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: I'm immediately like, all right, let's talk. You got me.
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: Let's discuss. I shooed the dogs and alpaca away. I
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: brought her a muffin, and we had a chat. Allegedly,
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: Bill was only threatening to remove Alice from the home
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: to scare her straight. They weren't actually gonna do it,
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: and they were caught off guard when we showed up
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: on her birthday. I told her she was missing the point,
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: and that I'm not sure I could use small enough
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: words to explain it. Ho ho.
• 45:00
  Speaker 4: Oof.
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: She cried, peeled out of my driveway at Mach 7,
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: and it's been radio silence since, which I'm enjoying. Thanks, everyone,
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: for the support. You're a good bunch. Keep your sticks
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: on the ice. And there's another update. There's an update here.
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: But before we get into that, I think that that
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: shows the perfect downfall of telling somebody something really serious
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: and impactful that you're going to do to them that's
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: going to affect their life. If you don't mean it,
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: don't say it. They might just, you know, do something
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: about it. Then you go, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait. No,
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: we didn't mean it.
• 45:35
  Speaker 2: We just wanted to scare you.
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: Too late. I'm living at my cool uncle and aunt's farm.
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: I'm riding alpacas. I'm going to college. And like, honestly,
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: like if I think if you're having three to four
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: blowouts a week with like your family, I think that
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: regardless of fault or, you know, I think just removing
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: yourself from that environment is good for everybody.
• 45:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, truly, it's not working, I don't think, obviously for Alice,
• 46:05
  Speaker 2: but then also for the family. Everyone's just fighting constantly,
• 46:08
  Speaker 2: so if it's going to lessen the stress for Alice
• 46:12
  Speaker 2: to be removed and for her to go with OP,
• 46:15
  Speaker 2: then yeah, I think that we'll saw. And they kind
• 46:18
  Speaker 2: of like, I mean, that's what they're hoping for.
• 46:19
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: And yeah. And it seems like it would work. And,
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: and like if the whole thing with the whole family
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: being upset was because you're undermining Bill and Tanya, I
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: think now would be a great time to let them know, Hey,
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: Tanya just came over to my house and told me
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: that thing that we're undermining them about was never actually
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: going to happen. So now what's going on now? Is
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: everyone going to be mad at them now? Because they
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: undermined themselves?
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: It's like, is it the lose-lose situation, or can we
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: find a compromise? Right now, it's seeming like it's, you know, lose-lose,
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: but also, in the end, it's gonna work out? I
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: don't know. Like, why? This seems like the normal, logical solution,
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: so I don't understand why there's still an issue.
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: Opie's just looking out for Alice, and the entire family
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: is like, how dare you? How dare you do this?
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: Let him know. There's an update. So about a year ago...
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: My cousin Alice moved in with my wife and me
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: on her 18th birthday after being told to move out
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: by her parents. I'm here with an update at her suggestion. Guys,
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: did it go well?
• 47:18
  Speaker 4: It went probably super well.
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: The good. A year later, she's a year into an
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: engineering degree, playing lots of hockey, raised a couple of
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: steers on her own, and at her therapist's recommendation, she's
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: down to monthly sessions after starting weekly. She's the same
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: sweet kid, but without the stress of being treated like
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: an also-ran-alongside-her-younger-siblings. The bad. Her dad showed up about a
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: month after my original post, and a confrontation ended with
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: a peace bond being issued, restricting how Bill and Tanya
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: could contact Alice, me and my missus, or a couple
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: other family members. After the six months were up, Tanya
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: got back to her old tricks and But Bill seems
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: to have smartened up a bit. The peace bond meant
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: Alice has had limited contact with her siblings, which has
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: been tough. The oldest started out hostile, but other cousins
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: filled him in, which I got blamed for his shift
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: in attitude because we've established I'm just the worst. The
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: gossipy family mellowed out when they realized the gravy train
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: wasn't stopping for them. Thanksgiving was 26 people compared to
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: the 60-plus that came the last year before the vid.
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: Easter this year was back up to an even 40.
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: So we'll probably plateau a little short of the old numbers.
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: As for resolution, Bill has been texting Alice every couple
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: of days. They've gone for coffee a few times since
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: the peace bond expired. Quote, I'd go to his funeral...
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: but not his birthday party, were Alice's words when I
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: asked where they're at right now. I'm hoping time can
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: heal that wound, but she's been really good at setting boundaries.
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: To quote one of the great warrior poets of our time,
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: John Cougar Mellencamp, life goes on. Here's some closure, guys.
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: And there's another update! Update three, because I'm a bit scatterbrained,
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: I'm going to do this in parts. It has been
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: a greasy horror show in a lot of ways, but
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: everyone I care about is okay. That's a win, and
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: we take those. So, Bill. He's been trying his best,
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: I'll give him that. He seemed to genuinely want to
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: fix the relationship, texting Alice daily at first, now weekly.
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: I got my hackles up over that, but Alice told
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: me we didn't have enough to talk about when I
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: lived there to talk every day. Once a week is plenty.
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: He's been advised to stay away from me, my missus,
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: and our property, but we've been cordial when we cross
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: paths by accident. He and Tanya are separated. They had
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: been fighting nonstop about Alice since we took her. Their
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: oldest son refused to talk to Bill since they split
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: in October. Their younger son is weathering it as well
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: as a kid can, and their daughter is a daddy's girl,
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: devastated she's only seeing him on weekends. Nobody's told me
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: what happened the night it all blew up. And to
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: be honest, I don't even give enough of a crap
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: to ask. Reaping is never as fun as sewing, and
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: Bill's learning that. This hasn't impacted Alice too much. Quick
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: aside on that subject, I'm very proud of her. She
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: navigates incredibly nuanced situations with a level of emotional intelligence
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: I know she didn't pick up from me, so we'll
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: chalk that up to my missus going full mama bear.
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: On to Alice, she is doing really well. School is good.
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: She's working part-time in an engineering-adjacent role at a company
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: on her list to apply to when she convocates. She
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: sold off her steers and hasn't raised more because there's
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: only so many hours in a day. We're looking at
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: subdividing some of the property in a few years so
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: she can build her own place and have independence with
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: the title in her name, where she's not beholden to
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: us in any way. On to the rest of the family,
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: with Binya separating... A bunch of people who were firmly
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: in the camp of me being the source of discord
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: reached out to say they had changed their minds. Aw,
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: would you look at that?
• 51:11
  Speaker 2: I would have never guessed.
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: Not that they apologized, just that their opinions had changed.
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, I told them to piss up a
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: rope and suck the wet end. We're done hosting the
• 51:22
  Speaker 1: large gatherings every holiday. A lot of my side still comes,
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: but it's a smaller number. All people who respect us
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: instead of showing up for a free meal and drinky poos. Yeah, OP,
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: you did everything flawlessly. You say that you're scatterbrained and
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: all that stuff, but I don't know how you could
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: be if you managed to navigate four family group chats
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: and all of this insanity. And also you somehow got
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: Alice raising steers on her own that were hers to sell.
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: Let's just finish this story.
• 51:54
  Speaker 2: Hey.
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: As for my misses, that's the exciting news alluded to previously.
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: We've officially begun creating an army of clones.
• 52:03
  Speaker 4: The clone wars have begun.
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: Real clones are expensive and require a lab, so we've
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: opted for an artificial one. We've got a little boy
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: on the way, due end of July. The whole thing
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: hit me harder than I expected. Comments kept pointing out
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: that it's a lot easier to make waves when you're
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: already the black sheep, and that led to a lot
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: of introspection. Realizing my family had just gone from seeing
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: me as a liability to an asset rather than actually
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: loving me was rough. Thankfully, I'm married to the most
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: amazing person to grace this earth and the family that
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: genuinely loves me came through too. All is well, life
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: is good, and I'm back to being the BFG, which
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: is how I'm happiest. But that is the end of
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: that story. It was a nice one.
• 52:47
  Speaker 2: My cousin uninvited my boyfriend to her wedding, but didn't
• 52:51
  Speaker 2: have the courage to tell me.
• 52:53
  Speaker 1: Awkward.
• 52:55
  Speaker 2: My cousin, 28 female, and I, 26 female, are incredibly close.
• 53:00
  Speaker 2: Practically like sisters. We've shared everything from childhood memories to
• 53:04
  Speaker 2: discussing our love lives. I've always been there for her,
• 53:07
  Speaker 2: offering a shoulder to cry on whenever a guy broke
• 53:09
  Speaker 2: her heart. She is getting married this December. In my country,
• 53:13
  Speaker 2: everyone pays for their own seat at the table. By
• 53:16
  Speaker 2: the way, this comes from Deleted, and if you want
• 53:18
  Speaker 2: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash
• 53:20
  Speaker 2: ok story time subreddit. I'm Savannah.
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: I'm Dakota.
• 53:22
  Speaker 4: I'm Keon.
• 53:23
  Speaker 2: And we're here to read some stories and give you
• 53:26
  Speaker 2: some advice. In a little goofy way, but guess what?
• 53:28
  Speaker 2: We don't have all the answers. We can only tell
• 53:30
  Speaker 2: you what we would do. We don't really know a lot.
• 53:33
  Speaker 2: I mean, we know some, but eh. But let us
• 53:35
  Speaker 2: know what you would do down in the comments. As
• 53:37
  Speaker 2: Opie says... I've been in a committed relationship with my
• 53:40
  Speaker 2: boyfriend for four years, and we're eagerly planning our own
• 53:44
  Speaker 2: future together, including getting married after we finish our theses.
• 53:48
  Speaker 2: Despite our close bond, my cousin has never met my
• 53:51
  Speaker 2: boyfriend in person, only through video calls. I've extended invitations
• 53:56
  Speaker 2: for her to visit and meet him numerous times, but
• 53:58
  Speaker 2: due to her busy schedule, she's never been able to
• 54:00
  Speaker 2: make it. Conversely, I've made the effort to travel to
• 54:04
  Speaker 2: her city and meet her boyfriend. We were eagerly anticipating
• 54:07
  Speaker 2: the moment when they would finally meet at her wedding,
• 54:10
  Speaker 2: and we had even discussed it during our last conversation.
• 54:14
  Speaker 2: We had dreams of traveling the world together, making plans,
• 54:17
  Speaker 2: and continuing to be the inseparable duo, now four, we've
• 54:21
  Speaker 2: always been. However, my excitement was abruptly shattered when my
• 54:24
  Speaker 2: mom received a call from my aunt, my cousin's mom,
• 54:27
  Speaker 2: delivering unexpected news. They had decided not to invite significant
• 54:31
  Speaker 2: others of family members to the wedding due to budget constraints,
• 54:35
  Speaker 2: while still allowing the partners of her friends to attend.
• 54:38
  Speaker 2: This decision felt like a slap in the face, particularly
• 54:42
  Speaker 2: after all the anticipation we had shared about her and
• 54:45
  Speaker 2: her partner finally meeting mine at her wedding. I couldn't
• 54:49
  Speaker 2: shake the feeling that this decision was made to avoid
• 54:52
  Speaker 2: upsetting her friends, some of whom had let her down
• 54:55
  Speaker 2: multiple times in the past, and that they take me
• 54:58
  Speaker 2: for granted. I don't understand because you said that everyone's
• 55:02
  Speaker 2: kind of paying for their seat, so I don't know
• 55:05
  Speaker 2: why there would be budget constraints if you're not actually
• 55:08
  Speaker 2: paying for everyone to be there. They're paying for themselves
• 55:10
  Speaker 2: to be there.
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Maybe it's like budget constraints on like catering, but no,
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: because you're buying your own seat. That includes buying your
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: own seat. Maybe it's like the size of the venue.
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: I don't know. It would be really, really extra of
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: your cousin to do this just so that she doesn't
• 55:26
  Speaker 1: have to meet your boyfriend. That would be super extra.
• 55:29
  Speaker 2: I doubt it's because of that.
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: Until that's confirmed, like this really just feels like somebody's
• 55:34
  Speaker 1: going to have to be upset. And I don't want
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: all my friends to be upset.
• 55:39
  Speaker 2: It's like we can't just have one person not come.
• 55:41
  Speaker 2: So let's just uninvite a lot of people. So then
• 55:43
  Speaker 2: it feels fair.
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: But also let's let's keep reading.
• 55:46
  Speaker 2: The news left me feeling devastated. It wasn't just about
• 55:49
  Speaker 2: not being invited anymore. It felt like I had lost
• 55:52
  Speaker 2: a piece of my family. All the plans we had
• 55:55
  Speaker 2: made together suddenly evaporated. While my boyfriend wasn't angry, he
• 55:59
  Speaker 2: understandably questioned the value of investing in future vacations with
• 56:02
  Speaker 2: someone who hadn't even invited him to their wedding. Additionally,
• 56:06
  Speaker 2: it hurt even more that my cousin didn't have the
• 56:08
  Speaker 2: courage to tell me herself. Instead, she had her mom
• 56:11
  Speaker 2: relay the message through mine. When I expressed my disappointment,
• 56:15
  Speaker 2: some family members, particularly uncles and aunts, accused me of
• 56:18
  Speaker 2: ruining my cousin's wedding day by speaking up. They argued
• 56:22
  Speaker 2: that it was her day and she had the right
• 56:24
  Speaker 2: to do as she pleased. However, I couldn't shake the
• 56:27
  Speaker 2: feeling of betrayal. While I understood weddings are expensive, my
• 56:30
  Speaker 2: boyfriend had even offered to pay for his seat, as
• 56:33
  Speaker 2: is customary in our country. So am I the a-hole
• 56:36
  Speaker 2: for speaking up? And there's an edit.
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: I feel like before you do anything to stir the pot,
• 56:44
  Speaker 1: you could just reach out to your cousin directly and
• 56:47
  Speaker 1: be like, hey, I understand that you have to make
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: decisions for budget, but could my boyfriend still come and
• 56:55
  Speaker 1: he pays for himself? Because I was so looking forward
• 56:58
  Speaker 1: to him meeting you and also your partner and us meeting. Meeting,
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: you know? Can we make, he'll pay whatever needs to
• 57:08
  Speaker 1: be paid?
• 57:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because if it's money constraints, and if he's paying
• 57:13
  Speaker 2: for himself, then it should work, right?
• 57:15
  Speaker 1: And, you know, she can come back with the, well,
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: that wouldn't be fair to everyone else.
• 57:19
  Speaker 2: There is an edit here. I'd like to add that
• 57:21
  Speaker 2: I am particularly hurt because my cousin didn't tell me herself,
• 57:25
  Speaker 2: though we spoke on the phone yesterday morning, and she
• 57:28
  Speaker 2: knew she was not inviting my boyfriend, and that my
• 57:30
  Speaker 2: aunt was going to call any day to deliver the news.
• 57:34
  Speaker 2: Yet she didn't say a word about retracting the verbal invitation.
• 57:38
  Speaker 2: Posting this here because I want to see both sides
• 57:40
  Speaker 2: of the problem before speaking directly to my cousin. I
• 57:43
  Speaker 2: don't want to act out of anger without getting perspective.
• 57:46
  Speaker 2: I mean, that's smart. But yeah, it is weird that
• 57:49
  Speaker 2: she's kind of, I mean, maybe she thought it would
• 57:52
  Speaker 2: lessen the blow or maybe she's just super stressed and
• 57:55
  Speaker 2: she felt bad. And so she's like, can someone else
• 57:57
  Speaker 2: deal with this while I like deal with wedding stuff?
• 57:59
  Speaker 2: You know, I don't know.
• 58:01
  Speaker 1: I feel like it's pretty normal for that to happen, right?
• 58:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I would think.
• 58:06
  Speaker 1: Messages are relayed down the grapevine.
• 58:08
  Speaker 4: But if there's no grapevine, no messages are being relayed.
• 58:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I would say don't be angry and just talk.
• 58:15
  Speaker 2: That's the only way you're going to get answers, is
• 58:16
  Speaker 2: if you talk to the person who is directly giving
• 58:19
  Speaker 2: the orders. You know, being like, hey, what's going on?
• 58:22
  Speaker 1: OP's taking it really personal that she wasn't contacted and
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: told directly from the cousin. And is then filling in
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: that gap with her own, like, you know, I'm upset
• 58:32
  Speaker 1: and I'm hurt emotionally because she did this. But really, like,
• 58:35
  Speaker 1: it probably didn't happen with any consideration to you one
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: way or the other. And it's like, it has really,
• 58:41
  Speaker 1: it's like, it's not about you at all. I don't know.
• 58:44
  Speaker 2: Let's see the update. Update. Long story short, my cousin
• 58:48
  Speaker 2: uninvited my boyfriend from her wedding out of the blue
• 58:50
  Speaker 2: without giving a plausible explanation and not even calling herself,
• 58:53
  Speaker 2: but sending her mother to tell my mother who ultimately
• 58:56
  Speaker 2: told me I was judged as not the a-hole. So
• 58:59
  Speaker 2: I had a conversation with my cousin a couple of
• 59:01
  Speaker 2: days back. It seems like it was a mix of
• 59:04
  Speaker 2: her own decision and her mother's influence. Long story short,
• 59:08
  Speaker 2: she is considering making an exception. for my boyfriend, but
• 59:11
  Speaker 2: she couldn't confirm yet. She said she wouldn't know until
• 59:14
  Speaker 2: last minute. However, my aunt informed my mother that they
• 59:18
  Speaker 2: had collectively decided not to make any exceptions. Now, either
• 59:22
  Speaker 2: my cousin or my aunt is not being truthful, and
• 59:25
  Speaker 2: I'm leaning towards my aunt. Here's how it all unfolded.
• 59:28
  Speaker 2: Right from the start, I could sense her nervousness. As
• 59:31
  Speaker 2: you may recall, my aunt had informed my mother that
• 59:34
  Speaker 2: they weren't including cousins' boyfriends in the guest list due
• 59:38
  Speaker 2: to budget constraints. I knew this wasn't the real reason.
• 59:41
  Speaker 2: Their financial status is more than comfortable, but naturally I
• 59:44
  Speaker 2: didn't confront her directly about it. Instead, I expressed surprise
• 59:48
  Speaker 2: that she hadn't mentioned it to me herself, to which
• 59:51
  Speaker 2: she had no response. And I found the decision where
• 59:54
  Speaker 2: her friend's boyfriends were invited but not her cousin's boyfriends
• 59:59
  Speaker 2: quite bizarre. Eventually, she confessed. The budget excuse was made
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 2: up by her mother, as I suspected. The actual reason
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 2: behind this odd rule was that she didn't like some
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 2: of her cousins from her other side of the family
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 2: who aren't related to me. Their boyfriends. She simply didn't
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 2: want to see them at the wedding. Her solution was
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 2: to exclude any family boyfriends, including mine, from the guest list.
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 2: After this, she did mention her intention to try to
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 2: make an exception for me. However, she said she would
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 2: not be able to confirm until a few months had passed.
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 2: I have no idea why. She literally said, I'll try
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 2: to invite him at the last minute. The conversation ended
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 2: there with me not really knowing how to feel. We
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 2: didn't argue, but we weren't as sweet to each other
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 2: as we usually are.
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 1: So Opie's cousin's mom, who is not getting married, is
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: making the unilateral decision that, well, I don't like these
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: people's boyfriends, so no one's allowed to bring their boyfriend
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 1: to the wedding. And it's like, stop. Stop letting these
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 1: people you don't like control your life and live in
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 1: your head rent-free. Just stop.
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 2: I have cousins that I don't really... Well, I have
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 2: one cousin that I just really don't like for no reason.
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 2: But obviously, she's still going to be invited to my wedding.
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 2: I understand that you don't want people who you don't
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 2: like at your wedding, especially if they're not actually family.
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 2: These are just extensions, like cousins, boyfriends, you know? So
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I would... It's your wedding. I feel
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 2: like you can tell some people, like you can tell OP, yeah,
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 2: you can bring yours because I want to meet him
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 2: and I'm excited and blah, blah, blah. And I feel
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 2: like it'd be fun.
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 1: But not.
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 2: Tell the others, like, don't give your cousins, you know,
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 2: a plus one. And I feel like that's, you know,
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 2: that is your role. You can do that. It's your wedding.
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 2: You don't want them there. Then don't have them there.
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 2: You know, no hard feelings. It's just my day.
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 1: So, yeah. And the moms being like, well, these people
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 1: are going to be problematic and I don't like them.
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 1: So we're going to do this thing that is problematic
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 1: and people don't like and creates a problem. You're making
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 1: a problem before any of these other people are.
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 2: Mind you, I did not tell her I wanted an
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 2: exception made with me or anything like that. I promise.
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 2: I would never try to change a guest list. The
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 2: only thing I complained about was not being told by
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 2: her directly. Absolutely nothing else. The exception thing was only
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 2: her doing, not mine. The relatives who told me I
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 2: was ruining the wedding by complaining have not apologized or
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 2: talked to me about the issue yet, and I don't
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 2: really think they will.
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 4: They're really good at that, just letting you figure it out.
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 2: Saying stuff, causing a ruckus, and being like, figure it out.
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 2: I'm at a loss for how to feel about all this.
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 2: I think there were far more tactful ways to handle
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 2: the situation. I can't even decide if this revelation makes
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 2: things better or worse, lol. Anyway, thank you very much
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 2: for your help. And that's all.
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: Dang.
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I mean, I hope that he gets
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 2: to come. But, I mean, I guess it's not up
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 2: to you, so... All you can do is hope for.
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 1: The best, I guess. Yeah, this feels like it was
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 1: her mom way more than her. And I don't think
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 1: you are really mad at your cousin. And I think
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 1: probably the reason that she didn't tell you is because
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 1: she doesn't really want that to happen. And it's not
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 1: like her prerogative. It's a weird place because, you know,
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 1: who knows? Mom's probably like funding a lot of the wedding.
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 1: She's clearly got a lot of sway. And like, you know,
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 1: a person like that is very hard to deal with.
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 1: especially in the midst of having to do your wedding.
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 1: So it's like, well, I can either fight my mother
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 1: or I can just accept and take the more peaceful path.
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 2: I can understand both sides here, but I do... It
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 2: does suck that she did that. It is like a
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 2: punch to the gut. It's like, okay, you know, we're
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 2: all leaning up to this. You said this months ago,
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 2: and now all of a sudden it's like, oh, just kidding.
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 2: My mom feels like this would be a better option.
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 2: It's like, what do you think, actually?
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 1: It's your wedding. Yeah, and just it being the lie, too,
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 1: of like, it's the budget. It's like that made no
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 1: sense from the very beginning.
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 4: That's the best excuse we got, is blame it on
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 4: the budget when everyone's paying for themselves.
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 2: But that's the end of that story, and we got
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 2: another one coming right up. Hey, it's Carly, Keon's girlfriend, here.
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 4: We're going to get back to the stories, but here's
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 4: three minutes of ads from our sponsors.
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 1: My parents couldn't stand me being so close to my
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 1: estranged sibling, so they crashed our trip.
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 2: You're not invited.
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 1: Get out of here. I, 19 male, have been living
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 1: in Europe since I turned 18. I went directly into
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 1: work from high school and have been almost entirely self-sufficient
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 1: since I moved. One of the biggest factors for this
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 1: decision was my parents' issues with my identity as a bi-man.
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 4: Bicentennial, bipolar, biracial.
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 2: Bi-man.
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 1: You say, bi-man. They never disowned me outright, but they
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 1: consistently tell me ways I can change back and refer
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 1: to the me from before I came out as an
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 1: entirely different person. They have even referred to the me
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 1: from before as their actual child. The first year I
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 1: lived abroad, I ended up going back to the U.S.
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 1: for the holidays, and it was rough for a myriad
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 1: of reasons. The following Christmas, I decided not to go
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 1: through the same thing and informed my parents I wouldn't
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 1: be visiting the U.S. I used the excuse of not
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 1: having enough vacation days, and they left it alone. My aunt,
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 1: who is supportive enough, and the reason I could even
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 1: move to Europe, suggested I should spend the season visiting
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 1: my sibling Sam, 23, non-binary, in Canada... since she knew
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 1: I was much closer to them than my parents. By
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 1: the way, this comes from OK Entertainment 2321. If you
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 1: want to submit your own stories, go to the r
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 1: slash OK Storytime subreddit. I'm Dakota.
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 2: I'm Savannah.
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 4: I'm Keon.
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 1: And we're going to read this story. We're going to
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 1: have our thoughts, but we don't know everything. We're just
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 1: a couple of goofballs. So let us know what you
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 1: know in the comments. And OP says, For context, everyone
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 1: else in my family is pretty tolerant. My older brother
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 1: has begun to break out of their bubble and has
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 1: been reaching out to learn more about LGBTQ topics, but
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 1: he is still stuck on some of our parents' ideas.
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 1: Sam moved out years before I did, moving to Canada
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 1: when they were 18 for college and never moving back,
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 1: and never fully came out to our parents. My coming
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 1: out was a rough affair that stretched out for years
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 1: as I had to fight for my parents to believe me.
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 1: They still don't. Sam decided they don't want the drama
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 1: of all that, and we bonded on our shared queerness.
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 1: After figuring out that I had enough funds to even
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 1: do the trip, I was beyond ecstatic. It had been
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 1: years since I'd seen Sam, as they had been slowly
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 1: cutting off the family, and spending Christmas with someone I
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 1: cared about and who cared about me sounded amazing. We
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 1: messaged almost every day discussing ideas, costs, timings, logistics, and
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 1: eventually settled on a pretty relaxed trip with money set
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 1: aside for a few big dinners. At some point, I
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 1: had the usual forced phone call with my parents where
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 1: they tried to show me they had interest in my life.
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 1: I was so excited about the trip, I ended up
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 1: telling them all about it. They were a little shocked,
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 1: but they seemed to let it go pretty easily, and
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 1: I moved on to small talk about my job. Unfortunately,
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 1: the next day they started spamming me about covering my
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 1: flights to see them that Christmas. I was understandably confused
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 1: and clarified that I was visiting Sam that Christmas, but
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 1: They explained that it would be so much cheaper if
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 1: they covered my tickets to see them, and then I
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 1: bought tickets to visit Sam from there instead of from Europe,
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 1: which would have cut my visit to Canada from two
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 1: weeks to three days. I refused and said that I
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 1: had already purchased the tickets, and they relented. At least
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 1: I thought they did. That's crazy that he's like, I'm, yeah.
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 1: So your parents are going to do a one, two,
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 1: skip to my Lou. Oops. We're in Canada too. Um,
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 1: we informed them that we had planned for a very
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 1: chill stay in Christmas and would be paying for everything ourselves.
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 1: Our parents affirmed that it would be fine because Mike
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 1: had his allowance about a hundred dollars a month. Me
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 1: and Sam were floored. They were sending their youngest child
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 1: to a foreign country with only a hundred bucks on
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 1: very short notice. It was already 30 bucks for an
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 1: Uber to the house. And since Sam didn't have a car,
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 1: that would be how Mike would be getting to and
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 1: from the airport. That's already half his allowance. And we
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 1: were planning to do much more traveling along with expensive meals.
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 1: I raised my concerns and our parents waved us off
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 1: saying he could always dip into his savings. about 850 bucks,
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 1: which was given to us by our grandparents when we
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 1: were born and they added to every birthday. It became
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 1: clearer and clearer that they were more so sending Mike
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 1: in an attempt to have some kind of control over
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 1: our Christmas than for him to actually enjoy his trip.
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 4: Can you imagine sending a kid to just a country? $ 100?
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 4: Fend for yourself.
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they're basically trying to be like, well, OP and
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 1: Sam will just have to take care.
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 4: I just want to see the argument that Mike's having, like,
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 4: I don't want to go.
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 1: Can't you like just reach out to him and be like,
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 1: do you even want to do this? Like they're not
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 1: giving you any money and we're not paying for you.
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 2: Well, they're paying for his trip. Like they're paying for
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 2: his flight, but that's it. And he's going to stay
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 2: there for two weeks as well. You're going to need
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 2: a little bit over $ 850.
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 1: I think the avenue here is to get Mike to
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 1: not want to go. Though they didn't let up on
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 1: trying to guilt trip us on how sad Mike had
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 1: been that he couldn't spend Christmas with us. It also
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 1: became clear that they were not comfortable having the two
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 1: of us spend an entire vacation together as they didn't
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 1: want us to create an echo chamber to talk bad
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 1: about them. They often refer to our conversations as echo
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 1: chambers if it was about anything they didn't agree with
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 1: or want us talking about. Thankfully, we had four days
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 1: to ourselves before Mike arrived, which included Christmas Day. thanks
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 1: to them buying their tickets last minute, which was a blessing.
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 1: We did talk bad about them. When our brother finally
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 1: did arrive, we did our best to keep everything fun
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 1: and civil. We invited him to play group games and
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 1: video games, figured out how we could include him in
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 1: playing Minecraft, since he didn't bring a computer. But he
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 1: refused every time as he wanted to continue playing his
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 1: phone game that he had gotten very far into. Fair enough.
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 1: I get really into games sometimes too. But I was
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 1: getting increasingly agitated that he would go complaining to our
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 1: parents about us not including him.
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 4: That's fine. He's not your responsibility. In a sense, he is,
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 4: but he's not really.
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like at some point, you just got to
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 1: be like, my parents are annoying. And if Mike says
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 1: stuff that makes them annoying, business as usual. Sam assured
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 1: me that even if he did, it wouldn't be our problem.
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 1: And so we moved on. We got him to go
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 1: out with us one day and offered to go on
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 1: a train museum because he loves anything vehicle, which he
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 1: was pretty excited about. And we covered the Uber and
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 1: his entrance fees. Mike disappeared in the museum, though. and
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 1: we ended up having to keep tracking him down while
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 1: we went through the museum. After that, we went to
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 1: one of those food hubs with tons of restaurants to
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 1: choose from. It was a little stressful for me as
• 1:11:17
  Speaker 1: someone with a food allergy, but I managed, and we
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 1: agreed on a table to meet up at. We were
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 1: chatting through dinner when Mike poked fun at me for
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 1: not being a real adult, and I snapped that at
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 1: least I covered the entire trip myself. He asked me
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 1: if that was really true, and I confirmed that I
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 1: paid for everything from the flights to the meals, and
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 1: then I had to restrain myself when he scoffed. The
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 1: conversation moved on, and I asked Sam about our plans
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 1: for New Year's Eve. Mike was leaving early New Year's Eve,
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 1: so we had the night to ourselves, and we started
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 1: discussing party plans. Mike brought up how he did not
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 1: like parties, and I made a joke about how I
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 1: found them hard sometimes, and that social anxiety could be
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 1: a witch, not knowing what to say to people and
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 1: all that. Mike proceeded to say, yeah, I mean, people
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 1: are such a-holes for not talking to me at parties,
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 1: and me and Sam had to figure out how to
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 1: casually move on from that, The night before Mike left
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 1: for his flight at 7 a.m., he had to get
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 1: up at 5. I got distracted playing Minecraft, and before
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 1: I knew it, it was almost midnight. I closed out
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 1: of the game and turned to see Mike on his
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 1: phone watching videos. I caught his attention and told him
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 1: he should probably head to bed soon and that I
• 1:12:21
  Speaker 1: was sorry if I had kept him up. I did
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 1: my business, got in bed, and tried my best to sleep.
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 1: But after 45 minutes of fighting allergies, Sam has the
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 1: most perfect, beautiful, amazing cat. I finally got up to
• 1:12:31
  Speaker 1: take some meds! When I went out of the room,
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 1: I found the living room light still on and Mike
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 1: was awake and playing on his phone. I told him
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 1: again with a little irritation he should probably go to
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 1: bed soon as it was past midnight and he needed
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 1: to be up early. He just looked at me before
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 1: going back to his phone. I took my meds and
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 1: went to bed, pissed and knowing full well I'd be
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 1: blamed for keeping him up in the morning. I originally
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 1: had no plans of waking up to see him off,
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 1: but I'm a light sleeper and the sounds of Sam
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 1: moving around woke me up. I laid in bed trying
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 1: to decide if it was worth getting up to say
• 1:13:03
  Speaker 1: goodbye or not. When out of the silence, I heard
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 1: Mike say, You know it's your fault that I'm so tired.
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 1: To which Sam went, Oh, uh, okay. And suddenly, I
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 1: had the energy to get up. I told Mike that
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 1: when I went to bed and he was still up
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 1: on his phone, and when I came out almost an
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 1: hour later for allergy meds, he was still on his phone.
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 1: In no way was his proclivity to the screen my fault.
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 1: I gave him a curt goodbye and went back to bed.
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 1: Hours later, we learned Mike's flight had been delayed. I mean, yeah.
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 1: Mike's a 17-year-old who's annoying. Sounds like you've made the
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 1: best of it, though.
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I don't know. He's leaving anyway, so...
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 2: You dealt with him. He's gone now. I don't know.
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 2: I thought what the... I thought the problem was gonna
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 2: be he, like, didn't go to sleep and then he
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 2: missed his flight and was like, oh, I guess I
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 2: have to stay here. And I'd be like, oh. But no, he...
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 2: He left, right?
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 1: Why would he even want to? He doesn't seem like
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 1: he's like really having a great time.
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because you guys are just going to go party
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 2: it up. And he's like, I hate parties.
• 1:14:06
  Speaker 4: I guarantee you, again, his parents are like, listen, if
• 1:14:09
  Speaker 4: you do this, if you do this for us, you
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 4: get one wish.
• 1:14:12
  Speaker 1: You get one wish.
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 4: We'll give you one thing that you want.
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 1: Okay, well, let's finish this. We went about our day
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 1: and started getting ready for a small New Year's Eve
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 1: party hosted by one of Sam's friends. It was evening
• 1:14:22
  Speaker 1: when we found out Mike's flight was cancelled and there
• 1:14:25
  Speaker 1: were discussions on what to do. Mike offered to stay
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 1: in a hotel and I told Sam to not offer
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 1: to have him back over as he wouldn't be able
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 1: to attend the New Year's party and I could not
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 1: stand another hour with him. They offered anyway, but Mike
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 1: chose to stay in the hotel. He ended up staying
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 1: in the hotel overnight while me and Sam had an
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 1: amazing New Year. Weeks later, our parents started berating us
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 1: over the fact we abandoned Mike alone in a hotel
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 1: on New Year's Eve and were so rude and inconsiderate
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 1: to him the entire trip. They told us off for
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 1: not including him properly, not checking in on him during
• 1:14:54
  Speaker 1: New Year's, and not making sure his trip was an
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 1: absolute blast.
• 1:14:59
  Speaker 2: You invited this guy. We didn't invite him here. We
• 1:15:02
  Speaker 2: had plans. And all of a sudden, now you put
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 2: him into our plans. We're like, make it work. Make
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 2: him have fun. And I don't care. I don't care
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 2: what you think.
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 1: Do what he wants. Yeah, make this 17-year-old who's into
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 1: his phone game.
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 2: What is plank if not inspiration for child violence?
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 1: Now, it's August of the following year, and they still
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 1: bring it up as a gotcha whenever they can. Needless
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 1: to say, we will not be letting them know the
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 1: next time we visit each other, and that is the
• 1:15:33
  Speaker 1: end of that story.