Latest / R.E.A.L. Talk for REAL L.Y.F.E. / Beautiful While Becoming: Be You On Purpose

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Beautiful While Becoming: Be You On Purpose · R.E.A.L. Talk for REAL L.Y.F.E.

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  Welcome to Real Talk for Real Life, where we're realizing everyone is always
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  learning and living your full experience.
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  I'm your host, Coach C, and this is Season 6, Episode 7, Beautiful While Becoming On Purpose.
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  This is our Season 6 finale. Allie, we spent this season talking about becoming on purpose,
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  finding you before you fit in, doing it for you, calling it,
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  clocking it, and then carrying on,
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  going after it with grit and grind, getting aligned for the assignment.
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  We've talked about the work of becoming.
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  But before I close this season, there's something I need you to know.
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  Something I need you to carry with you after my voice stops coming through the speakers.
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  Something I hope finds you again on a random Tuesday when you're questioning yourself.
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  Something I hope whispers back to you when life gets loud.
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  You do not have to hate who you are to become who you're meant to be.
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  Let that sit. Because somewhere along
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  the way, we turned becoming into an indictment of who we already are.
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  We started believing that the future version of ourselves would finally be worthy.
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  When I lose the weight, when I make the money, when I get the degree,
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  when I heal, when I get the house, when I start the business,
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  when somebody chooses me, when I finally get myself together, then,
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  then I'll celebrate me.
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  Then I'll be proud of me. Then I'll love me. Then I'll believe I'm enough.
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  But what happens to the you who has to carry you all the way there?
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  What happens to the woman in the middle, the one who isn't where she was,
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  but isn't quite where she's going either? Who loves her?
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  Who celebrates her? Who tells her, baby, you're already beautiful.
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  Be you to fall.
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  And yes, I said it exactly the way I meant it.
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  Be you to fall because becoming on purpose was never supposed to mean becoming somebody else.
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  It was never supposed to mean sanding down every edge until you're easier for other people to hold.
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  It wasn't supposed to mean shrinking your personality, quieting your voice,
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  apologizing for your ambition, diluting your dreams, changing your laugh, hiding your scars.
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  Or editing yourself into somebody else's definition of acceptable.
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  No, becoming on purpose is the courageous act
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  Of becoming more of who you were created to be.
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  Not less. Not a copy. Not a version designed for public consumption. You.
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  Maybe you've been becoming all along. Maybe becoming doesn't always look like a breakthrough.
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  Maybe sometimes it looks like survival.
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  Maybe the season you thought wasted you was working on you.
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  Maybe the thing you thought broke you revealed you. Maybe that rejection redirected you.
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  Maybe that ending introduced you to yourself.
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  Maybe that season where nobody understood what you were doing taught you how
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  to stop requiring an audience before you trusted your own footsteps.
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  Maybe, just maybe, you've been becoming all along Through every version,
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  through every mistake, through every restart, through every
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  I should have known better, through every I'm never doing that again,
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  through every goodbye you didn't want to say, through every hello.
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  You were afraid to accept, through every door you begged to stay open,
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  and every door you eventually thanked God for closing, you were becoming open.
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  Honor the versions of you that
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  got you here. And I need you to stop being ashamed of your old selves.
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  Every version of you didn't know what you know now.
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  She didn't have today's wisdom. She didn't have today's boundaries.
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  She didn't have today's experience. She didn't have today's discernment.
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  She was working with what she had.
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  And some of those versions of you, baby, they fought to get you here.
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  The version of you who stayed too long. The version of you who trusted the wrong
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  person. The version who was afraid.
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  The version who did not speak up. The version who settled. The version who made the mistake.
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  The version who had to start over. Don't stand in today's wisdom and bully yesterday's you. Honor her.
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  Because she survived long enough for you to learn.
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  She carried things you now know how to put down. She tolerated things you now
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  know how to walk away from.
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  She asked questions you now have answers to.
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  And perhaps the greatest evidence that you've grown is that you would not make
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  some of the same decisions today.
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  That's not shame. That's becoming. me
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  you are allowed to outgrow your own introduction and listen you are allowed
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  to change you are allowed to evolve you are allowed to say that used to be me
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  you are allowed to outgrow places that once felt like home you are allowed to
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  want something different from what you wanted five years ago you are allowed
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  to discover that the dream you were chasing belonged to an older version of you.
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  You are allowed to change your mind. You are allowed to choose differently.
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  You are allowed to become unfamiliar to people who are only comfortable with
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  the version of you. They could predict it.
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  Because becoming on purpose means I am not committed to remaining recognizable.
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  I am committed to remaining real. And sometimes the realest thing you can say,
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  is, that doesn't fit me anymore.
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  Don't rush the middle.
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  We celebrate beginnings. We celebrate arrivals. But nobody throws a party for the middle.
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  Nobody celebrates the construction site. Nobody takes pictures of the scaffolding.
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  Nobody frames the blueprint with all the eraser marks on it.
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  But that's where becoming happens, in the middle.
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  Between who you were and who you're becoming. Between the prayer and the provision.
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  Between planting and harvest. Between deciding and doing.
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  Between falling and getting back up.
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  The middle can be uncomfortable because you don't have the certainty of where
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  you were or the evidence of where you're going. But don't rush it.
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  There are things the middle is teaching you that the destination cannot.
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  The middle is building muscles you will need when you arrive.
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  So if you're listening to me right now and you're somewhere in the middle,
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  baby, you are not behind.
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  You are not late. You are not less valuable because your life is still under construction.
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  You are becoming and becoming is beautiful, too.
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  Your life doesn't need to look like theirs. Somebody else's timeline is not
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  evidence that you're late.
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  Somebody else's success is not proof that you're failing.
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  Somebody else's marriage, career, body, business, family, house,
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  money, platform, following, calling, none of it determines the value of your journey.
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  Stop using somebody else's highlight as a measuring stick for your becoming
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  you don't know what their assignment requires
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  and they don't know what yours requires so clap for them celebrate them love
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  them learn from them and then get back to your own becoming
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  because comparison will have you abandoning an assignment that was custom made for you.
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  Becoming isn't a destination And maybe that's the lesson I want to leave with you most.
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  There is no final version of you. There isn't some magical age where you arrive
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  and say, well, that's it. I'm finished.
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  No, as long as you're living.
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  You're learning. As long as you're learning, you're changing.
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  And as long as you're changing, you're becoming.
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  The goal isn't to finish becoming. The goal is to become on purpose, to participate,
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  to pay attention, to tell yourself the truth, to choose intentionally,
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  to release intentionally, to love intentionally, to live intentionally,
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  to become intentionally,
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  and to remain you through all of it.
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  Be beautiful. So here we are at the end of another season.
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  And if I could reach through these speakers and sit across from you for just
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  a minute, I would not ask you what you've accomplished.
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  I would not ask you how much money you've made.
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  I would not ask you how much weight you've lost. I would not ask you what title you have.
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  I wouldn't even ask you whether everybody finally understands you.
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  I'd ask you one thing.
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  Are you becoming someone you recognize?
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  Not someone the world applauds. Someone you recognize.
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  When you look at your choices, do you see your values?
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  When you listen to your voice, do you hear yourself?
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  Well, when you look at the life you're building, can you find you in it?
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  Because what a tragedy it would be to build a beautiful life and disappear inside of it.
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  Listen, be you while you're growing, be.
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  You while you're healing, be you
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  while you're learning, be you while you're winning, be you while you're starting
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  over, be you when they understand you, be
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  you when they don't be,
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  you when the room celebrates you and baby Be you when the room gets quiet because
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  applause has never been evidence of assignment.
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  Popularity has never been proof of purpose and fitting in has never been worth disappearing.
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  Here's the fearless charge. There is no traditional fearless homework today.
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  This time I have a fearless charge. When this episode ends, I want you to find a mirror.
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  Not your phone camera, not a filtered picture, a mirror.
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  Look yourself directly in the eyes and don't look for what needs fixing.
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  Don't inspect, don't critique, don't compare, just look.
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  Look at the person who has carried you through every single day of your life
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  and say, I honor who I have been.
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  I love who I am and I am excited about who I am becoming.
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  Then say, I will not abandon myself on the way to myself.
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  That's it. That's your assignment.
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  One last thing. Before I close season six, I want you to remember something.
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  You don't become beautiful when you arrive.
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  You don't become valuable when you achieve. You don't become worthy when somebody recognizes it.
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  You don't become enough when you fix every flaw. You are beautiful while becoming.
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  Right here in the middle. Unfinished, learning, stretching, trying,
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  changing, choosing, falling, rising, releasing, reaching, becoming.
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  There will always be another level, another lesson, another version, another assignment.
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  So don't spend your entire life waiting to meet a future version of yourself
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  and miss the extraordinary privilege of knowing the person you are right now
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  because she deserves your love too.
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  He deserves your love too.
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  You deserve your love too. So find you before you fit in. Do it for you.
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  Call it. Clock it. Carry on. Go after it with grit and grind.
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  Get aligned for the assignment.
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  And through every single version, beautiful while becoming on purpose.
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  Listen, this has been season six of Real Talk for Real Life.
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  That's L-Y-F-E. I'm Coach C.
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  And wherever you're becoming takes you, make sure you get there.
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  You are still there.
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  Make sure when you get there, you are still there.
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  Make sure when you get there, you are still there.
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  As always, live fearless, keep learning, keep living.
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  This is Real Talk for Real Life, where we're realizing everyone is always learning
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  and you're living your full experience.
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  Make sure you follow me on Instagram and Facebook at Real Talk for Real Life.
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  Again, that's L-Y-F-E for more inspiration, merchandise, and motivation between episodes.
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  This is Coach C. I'll see you in the next one.