Latest / Karl and Crew / From Brokenness to Purpose with Jim Daly & Change Begins with Humility and Surrender with Dan Seaborn
Transcript
- 0:00S1: Broadcasting from Chicago, across North America and beyond. It's Carl
- 0:06S1: and crew. Come as you are an experienced guide, overcome
- 0:10S1: what seems impossible and live as you never imagined. Start
- 0:15S1: your morning with a laugh.
- 0:17S2: Practical from the Bible. Tips and tricks to kill. Not tricks,
- 0:22S2: but tips and tricks.
- 0:25S3: Tips and tricks to kill. Tips and tricks.
- 0:28S1: Delivering the truth daily.
- 0:30S4: All of my attempts to you know. Prop myself up
- 0:33S4: with achievement and good works. Well, God wasn't impressed by that,
- 0:36S4: even if other people were.
- 0:38S2: The gospel changes everything.
- 0:41S5: Freedom in Christ. Man, it's like that backpack of cement
- 0:44S5: just falling to the ground.
- 0:46S1: Now, from the call of Hope Studios, this is Carl
- 0:50S1: and crew.
- 0:52S6: It's. I can't change because dot dot dot weak. That's
- 0:57S6: what it is. All week long we're going to be
- 0:59S6: having experts in here tackling topics that really get. After
- 1:03S6: this issue of the. I don't want to use just
- 1:07S6: the word excuses, but reasons that we come up with
- 1:10S6: for why we can't change. And boy, they're replete, aren't they, Ali?
- 1:14S4: Yeah. I mean, you think about all of the ways
- 1:16S4: that you make excuses in so many different areas. I mean,
- 1:21S4: you take working out, you commit to, okay, I am
- 1:24S4: going to get in shape. I know that I need
- 1:27S4: to my doctor has told me to my scale says
- 1:29S4: I should probably. And then it's like, ah, but this
- 1:33S4: is a really. And I, I've done this myself because
- 1:35S4: I've been off the wagon for about like three weeks.
- 1:38S6: And so it's like off the wagon.
- 1:40S5: That's so honest.
- 1:41S4: And so for at first it was like it's share week. I,
- 1:45S4: there's no way I can work out during share week
- 1:47S4: because share is really, really that's fair. But then the
- 1:51S4: week after, it's like, man, I really have a busy week.
- 1:54S4: Share week was last week. Now I got a lot of.
- 1:56S6: Recovery.
- 1:56S4: Week. I have to I have to get caught up
- 1:58S4: with things. And then today would be a good day.
- 2:01S4: But I'm really tired today. I think it would be
- 2:03S4: better for me to rest and try to go Wednesday.
- 2:06S4: And then Wednesday comes and it's all these excuses that
- 2:09S4: I make to myself. While I can't get to that
- 2:11S4: 1215 workout class that I know is calling my name
- 2:14S4: twice a week, but I've been making excuses. I don't
- 2:18S4: even say them out loud. It's like in my mind
- 2:20S4: I excuse certain things because of course I can't do
- 2:22S4: that thing that I know that is good for me.
- 2:25S6: Yeah, I think one of the most stunning things about
- 2:29S6: our conversation with Jim Daly is you look at family
- 2:33S6: of origin and upbringing. Boy, he got for me, he
- 2:37S6: wasn't condemning in that. But when he shared his story
- 2:39S6: of his upbringing and all that he went through in
- 2:43S6: his childhood, it would it would seem reasonable that I
- 2:48S6: in fact, I would have no problem as a pastor
- 2:50S6: with someone saying this is an insurmountable thing for me
- 2:53S6: to overcome, But Jim's like, no. Simply put, Jim Daly
- 2:58S6: is one of these guys. Oh, it's power of the cross, man.
- 3:00S6: God can change anything in anyone, which gives great hope.
- 3:04S6: But you're. By the way, if you want to hear
- 3:06S6: that interview again, just text the word show by 1030
- 3:10S6: this morning. Central time. We'll have that loaded up. Text show.
- 3:13S6: Whenever you hear something here, just text the word show. We'll.
- 3:16S6: Good chance we'll have it in our show. Cast 805.
- 3:19S6: Five five, 78. 98. Yeah. Excuses. Oh my goodness. Especially
- 3:24S6: when you're raising kids. You hear some good ones don't
- 3:26S6: you Ali?
- 3:27S4: You do. You think about the ones you know. And
- 3:29S4: this will always crack me up because I have a
- 3:31S4: 16 and a 13 year old daughter and a 13
- 3:34S4: year old son and 16 year old daughter. And so
- 3:36S4: my daughter, like a lot of teenagers, she'll sometimes get
- 3:39S4: lost in a device. And so she'll sit there and
- 3:41S4: she'll be looking at something online. Maybe 30 minutes will
- 3:45S4: go by, and I let her have her decompress time,
- 3:47S4: and then I'll say, hey, can you get up and
- 3:49S4: put the dishes away? Or can you get up and
- 3:51S4: sweep the floor? And she'll go, oh, I am I mom.
- 3:54S4: I'm so busy. I am so busy. I have so
- 3:56S4: many things to do and I'll just look at her.
- 3:58S4: You spent 30 minutes staring at your phone. I have
- 4:02S4: so much homework to do, there's no way I could. Then,
- 4:04S4: since she jumps up and with such urgency, starts like,
- 4:07S4: you know, acting like there's there's so many things calling
- 4:10S4: her name this, this homework that's been sitting there or
- 4:13S4: this I have to clean out the car like, no, no, no, no,
- 4:15S4: I actually want you to put the dishes away right
- 4:18S4: now because I see you clearly have the time. But no,
- 4:21S4: I mean, and kids will come up with all kinds
- 4:24S4: of excuses to not do the thing that you've asked
- 4:26S4: them to do.
- 4:27S6: And adults have come up with excuses to not do
- 4:29S6: the things God asks us to do.
- 4:31S4: It's kind of human nature, right?
- 4:33S6: Yeah, it really is. It really is. And that's really, uh,
- 4:39S6: that's the brunt of where we're going this week. This
- 4:41S6: is going to be so much fun. Hate the forecast
- 4:44S6: for you the whole week already on this Monday morning.
- 4:47S6: But I mean, come on, we're going to have some
- 4:49S6: experts in here, including Doctor Henry Cloud. There's a lot
- 4:55S6: of us that Wonder Boy. How can I how can
- 4:59S6: I move forward with this knucklehead that's in my life
- 5:04S6: every other moment? I mean, there's a lot of issues
- 5:06S6: out there that we're going to tackle this week. It's
- 5:08S6: going to be a lot of fun. So coming up,
- 5:12S6: one of the big ones and it's it's very real. Uh, boy,
- 5:19S6: we look back for some of us before we were
- 5:22S6: born again. And we actually, some of you actually had
- 5:27S6: a thought that I can't really get squared away with
- 5:32S6: God because fill in the blank. And it's really funny
- 5:38S6: because you can have a working, really good working knowledge
- 5:41S6: of the gospel, of what Jesus came to do and
- 5:44S6: how he wants to change us. You can be kind
- 5:46S6: of baked into that culture And. Not be born again,
- 5:53S6: but have a working understanding of what kind of born
- 5:56S6: again looks like because you're in that culture. But in
- 5:58S6: your mind, you think that there's something beyond you keeping
- 6:02S6: you from really taking hold of that. Really. And you
- 6:05S6: might say, oh, come on, do people think that? Yeah,
- 6:09S6: I know a guy. I know a guy.
- 6:12S4: You know a guy.
- 6:13S6: Yeah. Came up with the craziest cockamamie story. Cockamamie. There's
- 6:19S6: my dad. There's my dad coming out of me. The
- 6:21S6: older I get, there's those dad isms coming.
- 6:23S4: Out of me. Okay?
- 6:25S6: The cockamamie story. My dad used to say that, but
- 6:28S6: speaking of 16, when I would come up with stuff,
- 6:32S6: he'd go, that's the cockamamie thing I've ever heard in
- 6:35S6: my life.
- 6:36S4: Carl.
- 6:37S6: What are you doing? What are you saying? Well, this
- 6:41S6: was crazy, and I want to give it to you.
- 6:43S6: Coming up here in a moment. I want you to
- 6:45S6: think today. Just think about this. Think about obedience. Just
- 6:51S6: going to leave you with this right now. If some
- 6:53S6: of you have to duck out and get into a
- 6:55S6: job or grab breakfast or whatever it is, what is
- 7:00S6: it the Holy Spirit has called you to do that
- 7:03S6: you know, that he's called you to do. But boy,
- 7:06S6: you've come up with some I can't Becauses just think
- 7:11S6: about that this morning and just ask the Lord to reframe.
- 7:17S6: It could be that I won't, because rather than I
- 7:21S6: can't because because the Spirit of God has given us
- 7:25S6: all that we need for life and godliness. Every bit
- 7:28S6: of it. We're not here to condemn, but a little
- 7:34S6: bit of conviction goes a long, long way to changing
- 7:36S6: the quality of life that we have, guys, it really does.
- 7:40S6: So coming up, a crazy story from a guy I know.
- 7:47S6: There's a lot of things that we can kind of
- 7:49S6: think in our mind. If just this thing in me
- 7:52S6: would change, then I could change. So we'll tackle that
- 7:57S6: coming up. Hope you had a great weekend. Be sure
- 8:01S6: to take what you heard yesterday in that message at
- 8:04S6: church or on Saturday night and apply it to your life, guys.
- 8:09S1: Get to know the team behind the scenes. Follow Carl
- 8:12S1: and crew on Facebook and Instagram.
- 8:15S6: Carl and crew helping you take your next step with Jesus.
- 8:18S6: So we're in this week called I Can't change because.
- 8:21S6: And there's. So we're gonna have fun with this this week.
- 8:23S6: We're going to really lean into the whole issue of sanctification,
- 8:27S6: which is a fancy word for growing up in our
- 8:29S6: relationship with God. As we touched on, I forget when
- 8:32S6: that was, uh, last week we went, we got to
- 8:35S6: be careful that we're not plateauing in our spiritual trajectory,
- 8:39S6: but that we're constantly becoming until the end because we
- 8:44S6: never cease having growth opportunities in our life. And it's
- 8:47S6: really the joy of knowing, boy, God's at work in me.
- 8:51S6: And it's not without a battle, but it's real. I
- 8:54S6: want to go all the way back though, to this
- 8:58S6: pre salvation time. And some of you might be in
- 9:01S6: that right now. Uh, God is, uh, maybe you're a
- 9:04S6: God fearing person and you've not really heard of what
- 9:07S6: Jesus Christ can do in your life. But there's some
- 9:09S6: of us that were raised in this culture of knowing
- 9:13S6: or at least hearing, not knowing as in experiencing, not
- 9:17S6: a ginosko of experiential truth, but a understanding of the
- 9:23S6: framework of biblical Christianity. Right? We're raised in that boy
- 9:27S6: I was in that I, I knew it, I heard it,
- 9:30S6: I heard testimonies all the time. And I wondered, why
- 9:34S6: in the world is this thing so elusive for me?
- 9:37S6: Why can I not experience this salvation? I mean, I'd
- 9:40S6: walked dials. I'd been baptized and gone through all this.
- 9:43S6: In fact, I don't mention this story enough as a
- 9:46S6: reason that some people can't change. But this story is
- 9:50S6: graphic and I want to share it with you. So
- 9:53S6: Dateline probably who? Goodness sakes. Probably three months after I
- 10:00S6: had had a package of eight ounces of really good
- 10:04S6: quality cocaine busted by the feds at Anchorage International Airport.
- 10:09S6: And I had traveled from Redondo Beach, California, with a
- 10:15S6: friend all the way up through California, up through the
- 10:18S6: Yukon Territory, and drove into Alaska. In my mind, as
- 10:22S6: a young man in my early 20s, thinking, if I
- 10:26S6: drive in, there's probably less of a chance of me
- 10:28S6: being busted. So I had this fear in my mind that, oh,
- 10:31S6: the feds are going to be waiting for me at
- 10:33S6: the airport if I fly in. I don't know. I
- 10:35S6: don't know what I was thinking. They could just as
- 10:37S6: easily be waiting at the border, for crying out loud.
- 10:40S6: But that was overblown in my mind. These guys, they
- 10:43S6: just wanted they don't have time for that. I was
- 10:47S6: pretty two bit guy compared to some. But when you're
- 10:51S6: not walking rightly, you can concoct all kinds of scenarios
- 10:54S6: in your mind. Can't you?
- 10:55S4: Yeah. Live looking over your shoulder, wondering if somebody's going
- 10:59S4: to catch you.
- 11:00S6: And by the way, that was scary, Ali.
- 11:02S4: I'm sure.
- 11:03S6: I mean, it was really scary, kiddo. I was afraid,
- 11:07S6: I was afraid.
- 11:08S4: You were what, early early 20s?
- 11:10S6: 023. Yeah, I was 23. Um, and I don't want
- 11:15S6: to understate this. I mean, I was terrified of what
- 11:18S6: I was looking at here. I would have done a
- 11:20S6: lot of time in the clink. And what's weird is, look,
- 11:23S6: I was a bad kid, sure, but I was a
- 11:25S6: pretty good kid. I wasn't I wasn't doing a lot
- 11:30S6: of stuff that you see on the evening news. I
- 11:32S6: was just really confused and messed up trying to get
- 11:37S6: that void filled with some cocaine in my life. And boy,
- 11:40S6: did it not fill up. If anyone's listening and you
- 11:42S6: were a user of cocaine or alcohol radically, or any
- 11:46S6: other kind of even prescription drugs, you soon find out,
- 11:49S6: oh my goodness, this isn't working. It. It works at
- 11:53S6: the start. Isn't that funny? The bait of Satan. It
- 11:55S6: works at the jump.
- 11:57S4: And you keep going back for for hoping that it's
- 12:01S4: going to continue to work.
- 12:02S6: Yeah. And it doesn't. And then you get paranoid and
- 12:04S6: everything starts going sideways. So I get back to state
- 12:08S6: of Alaska, back in the place where I'm living. I've
- 12:13S6: got a couple of roommates. And one day I just decided,
- 12:17S6: all right, enough of this. I my life, I cannot
- 12:21S6: seem to get on track with God. So I had
- 12:23S6: this awareness. I've got to be on track with God.
- 12:28S6: So I call up a friend of mine who was
- 12:31S6: much older than me. He was my pastor when I
- 12:33S6: was a kid in this church. Now I'm not at
- 12:35S6: that church, but I knew him well enough where I
- 12:38S6: could call him up and I called him up and
- 12:40S6: I said, hey, could you come up to my apartment?
- 12:42S6: Do you have time? Uh, I've got an issue and
- 12:45S6: I think you can help me with it. And he
- 12:48S6: knew I was far from God, but he accommodated me.
- 12:53S6: And he came up and we sat down and I
- 12:55S6: looked at him and I said, hey, I, I feel
- 12:58S6: like I really want to I think I was crying.
- 13:02S6: In fact, I know I was. I really want to
- 13:05S6: really grow in my relationship with God, but I feel stuck.
- 13:09S6: And he said, well, what do you think the problem is?
- 13:12S6: I said, I think I've, I think I've got a
- 13:15S6: demonic stronghold in my life. Now, this guy was notorious
- 13:19S6: for having, uh, true spoken interventions over demonic activity. I'd
- 13:25S6: heard these stories growing up in church, not a lot
- 13:27S6: of them, but a few of them. And, uh, they
- 13:30S6: were pretty hair raising. But I'm a pretty bold guy.
- 13:34S6: And I'm like, If I've got a demonic influence in
- 13:36S6: my life, I want to get this thing cast out
- 13:38S6: and dealt with. So I pour out my heart and
- 13:42S6: he begins to ask me questions along those lines, and
- 13:46S6: he looks me in the eye, and he's got his
- 13:48S6: Bible open, and he's reading scripture over me. And I
- 13:51S6: am no joking thinking, is my body going to start
- 13:56S6: flipping around? Is something going to come out of my mouth?
- 13:59S6: And I was game for it because I was genuinely
- 14:02S6: wanting to get freed from the life I was living in.
- 14:06S6: So he was there for a good hour and a half.
- 14:09S6: Two hours might have been three. It was a long time.
- 14:12S6: At one point, he abruptly stands up. We're in the
- 14:17S6: living room of my pad where I'm living. He stands
- 14:20S6: up and I said, what's what's up? He said, well,
- 14:26S6: I'm heading back to the office. I said, well, uh,
- 14:32S6: are we done? He said, yeah, Carl, we are. He said,
- 14:37S6: I need you to know something. You don't have a
- 14:40S6: demon problem. You have a real problem.
- 14:44S4: Ouch.
- 14:49S6: I wanted so badly for there to be a reason
- 14:53S6: that I can't change because. And in my case, I
- 14:56S6: thought I can't change because I've got demonic strongholds. Now,
- 15:00S6: in a spiritual sense, was I an enemy of the cross?
- 15:03S6: And did Satan have a grip on me? Yeah, but
- 15:05S6: it wasn't due to some. I wasn't saved and now, uh,
- 15:09S6: encumbered by demonic spirits. I was an unrepentant young man,
- 15:17S6: so I was on the broad path, holding on to
- 15:20S6: all my idols and all my gods, and had Jesus
- 15:22S6: in my other hand, held on by a little pinky thinking, yeah, oh,
- 15:28S6: I'm Christian. I'm just. I'm just stuck because I've got demons. Boy,
- 15:32S6: that was a watershed moment for me. Ali.
- 15:35S4: How long did you sit there after he walked out
- 15:37S4: of that room? Kind of sitting with that.
- 15:39S6: That's a really good question. No one's ever asked me that.
- 15:42S6: I went and sat back down. I think I poured
- 15:44S6: a cup of coffee, and that's when I think the
- 15:49S6: Spirit of God began to put a mirror up to
- 15:51S6: my soul. And I didn't want to see it. And
- 15:54S6: I went out that night partying yet again. Isn't that something?
- 16:01S6: So before you came to Jesus, you said, I can't
- 16:05S6: change because what was it? What was it? It may
- 16:10S6: not be that crazy. And I don't mention that enough
- 16:15S6: around here, because isn't that just take the anatomy of that.
- 16:18S6: Isn't that fascinating? So I know all about the gospel.
- 16:21S4: Yeah.
- 16:22S6: I know all these stories. I've seen people testify. I
- 16:27S6: make an assumption out of my illusion of salvation that, oh,
- 16:31S6: I must be born again. I've just got demonic activity
- 16:33S6: going on in my life. What a crazy leap I made, right?
- 16:37S4: I mean, yes, but I don't think it's that uncommon to,
- 16:43S4: to try to hold on to something that seems like
- 16:46S4: the reason other than just me.
- 16:50S6: Yeah. So I'm going to go a little different direction here.
- 16:53S6: I want you to hold on to something. Some of
- 16:54S6: you have thought, boy, maybe this Christian life really isn't
- 16:59S6: for me. I can't change because and you've got all
- 17:03S6: kinds of excuses there. But your real problem this morning.
- 17:10S6: Is you. That's why the joy of salvation has never
- 17:16S6: landed in your heart. It's you. And God's got an
- 17:21S6: answer for that. Straight ahead.
- 17:23S1: It's Carl and Crew on Moody Radio.
- 17:27S6: So I was born and baked into a culture of Christianity.
- 17:31S6: I'd heard the gospel forward and back, and here I
- 17:33S6: am in my young 20s now, trying to explain away
- 17:37S6: and really thinking I'm being encumbered in the abundant life
- 17:42S6: that Jesus offers. I knew those verses I'd memorized so many.
- 17:47S6: And one candy bars for doing it, Boys Brigade and
- 17:50S6: all that stuff growing up in church. So I knew
- 17:52S6: the gospel forward and back. And here I am asking
- 17:55S6: a man of God, hey, get these demons cast out
- 17:58S6: of me so that I can really go on with
- 17:59S6: my abundant life. Turns out he was right. He left
- 18:04S6: my apartment that day and said, you don't have a
- 18:06S6: demon problem. You got a real problem. And some of
- 18:10S6: you have said, I can't change because in its self-deception
- 18:16S6: and you've not really taken hold of abundant life. You're
- 18:19S6: a cultural Christian like I was. And I want you
- 18:21S6: to know today you can be born again, but it
- 18:24S6: is going to require the courage to face yourself as
- 18:27S6: you are. I can't change because fill in the blank.
- 18:31S6: Got one guy texted in here because sex dominates me
- 18:33S6: and I'm not married to her, but I'm shacked up
- 18:35S6: with her. Here's the deal. I need you to hear
- 18:39S6: my heart right now. You don't have a sex problem.
- 18:42S6: You don't have a drug problem. You don't have a
- 18:44S6: materialism problem. You got a you problem. You're the problem.
- 18:49S6: And I love you enough to tell it all. We,
- 18:53S6: like sheep, have gone astray. Each his own way. And
- 18:57S6: you might have heard the gospel forward and back and
- 18:59S6: been in church. You can be in church every weekend.
- 19:02S6: Come on, guys, but you're not in Christ. You say, Carl,
- 19:07S6: what's the remedy? It's you friend. You need to look
- 19:10S6: to God. And with hands open wide today, you need
- 19:13S6: to say, God, I'm a sinner. I need a Savior.
- 19:16S6: I'm the problem. It's a freeing thing. When you look
- 19:19S6: at yourself and go, I'm the problem. I can't blame
- 19:23S6: anyone else or anything else any longer. I'm the problem. I'm.
- 19:31S6: I'm believing that the Spirit of God is cutting like
- 19:34S6: a knife between bone and marrow and cutting into your
- 19:36S6: heart right now and showing you this. What a great,
- 19:38S6: severe mercy. And I want you to know from the
- 19:42S6: bottom of my heart that the word is true. If
- 19:44S6: you confess with your mouth for the first time, Jesus
- 19:47S6: is Lord. You might have said, well, I've said that. No, no,
- 19:50S6: I mean live it. Jesus is Lord. He's my highest authority.
- 19:54S6: And today I'm repenting on this broad path where I've
- 19:57S6: negotiated with Jesus all these years, and I'm done negotiating.
- 20:04S6: And today I surrender all that I am to Jesus
- 20:07S6: for the first time in my life. And if that's you, friend,
- 20:09S6: you will be born again. The Spirit of God is
- 20:13S6: going to be the one that convicts you of you.
- 20:16S6: And then the Spirit of God will regenerate you. All
- 20:20S6: you are called to do is bow low. Blessed are
- 20:23S6: the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
- 20:26S6: And I urge you today, friend, don't wait any longer.
- 20:29S6: Today is your day of salvation. Please don't let pride
- 20:33S6: hold you back. Don't let excuses hold you back. You're
- 20:36S6: the problem. Your sins. The problem. Yeah. Oh yeah. You
- 20:41S6: can point your finger at so many things. But why?
- 20:44S6: What does it profit you? What does it profit you?
- 20:49S6: To hold on to the idols of the broad path
- 20:53S6: and lose your soul? Nothing. So how about we call
- 20:58S6: an end to the self deceit today? And I just
- 21:03S6: want to ask you a couple of questions. Is today
- 21:06S6: the first time in your life where you're willing to say,
- 21:08S6: I'm the problem? I've been I've been pretty well aware
- 21:12S6: of what God wants to do with me. And I've
- 21:14S6: come up with all kinds of rationale and negotiation tactics
- 21:18S6: with God. But here's the deal. I'm the problem. I'm
- 21:22S6: a sinner and I need a Savior. And his name
- 21:26S6: is Jesus. If that's you, just say yes. Just speak
- 21:28S6: it out to God. Yeah. That's me. God. Tell him
- 21:30S6: that right now. And today I'm repenting, telling Jesus this.
- 21:37S6: I'm repenting and I'm following you. Jesus. Open hands, open heart.
- 21:43S6: Holding nothing back. Today I turn. I change my mind.
- 21:48S6: And I surrender all that I am to Jesus Christ
- 21:51S6: for the first time in my life. You may have
- 21:54S6: uttered prayers before. You may have believed, but demons believe.
- 21:59S6: But today you're surrendering to Jesus. And if that's you, friend,
- 22:03S6: wherever you are, we're going to help you on this path.
- 22:05S6: And it's beautiful. I want you. For some of you,
- 22:07S6: it's wiping away tears. For me, it was tears of
- 22:10S6: shame emptying out and joy coming in. But I want
- 22:13S6: you to know this is the day of salvation. And
- 22:17S6: if today you are surrendering all you are to Jesus
- 22:21S6: Christ for the very first time and you're acknowledging that
- 22:25S6: you're the problem, you're a sinner. You need a savior.
- 22:28S6: I want you to text the word new right now,
- 22:30S6: and we're going to help you. We're going to actually
- 22:32S6: get a brand new Bible out to you. We're going
- 22:34S6: to we have got an opportunity for you to have
- 22:38S6: someone in your area, no matter where you are in
- 22:40S6: this world, to just pray with you and encourage you
- 22:42S6: and to help you. I want you to text the
- 22:45S6: word new. We've got some good follow up material in here.
- 22:48S6: We're going to help you in your first steps with Jesus,
- 22:50S6: just like somebody helped me some months after that encounter,
- 22:54S6: I had just text the word new to 805 five, five, 78,
- 23:00S6: 98 new one word right now, wherever you are, new
- 23:04S6: to 805, five, five, 78, 98 come on friend, today
- 23:10S6: you're alive in Christ. Text. New to our number.
- 23:13S1: He was running from God. But God's love brought him home.
- 23:17S1: Carl is in the crew. It's Carl and crew on
- 23:21S1: Moody Radio.
- 23:22S6: Good number of views. Surrender your all to Jesus Christ today.
- 23:26S6: Here's one thing that struck me. Some of you are
- 23:28S6: so new here. A lot of you never texted the
- 23:31S6: show before. So if today is the day when you're
- 23:34S6: going a new way, your surrender. No more excuses. You're
- 23:37S6: the problem. You're the problem. Your sin. You're the issue.
- 23:41S6: But today you're surrendering all that you are to Jesus
- 23:44S6: for the first time. If you just heard that, uh,
- 23:47S6: last segment that I offered up to you, my story
- 23:51S6: made new by Jesus Christ, and you are following Jesus
- 23:55S6: for the first time. Text new. And let me give
- 23:57S6: you that number slowly. We're going to help you with
- 23:59S6: some resources. Use this link new to 805 557898. One
- 24:05S6: word new to 805 557898. How encouraging Alex.
- 24:10S4: So encouraging to see so many of you texting you.
- 24:13S4: I want to welcome you to the family.
- 24:15S6: Yeah. Just tremendous. Wow. We're hitting a topic this week
- 24:20S6: that's going to strike a chord all the way around,
- 24:22S6: won't it?
- 24:23S4: Absolutely.
- 24:24S6: Yeah. I mean, there's no way around it. I can't
- 24:27S6: change because. And we're going to bring in experts all
- 24:30S6: week that are going to hit the issue. Some salvation
- 24:32S6: but some most sanctification. I can't change because this person's
- 24:38S6: in the way. And boy, there's a big one right there.
- 24:40S6: I can't change because this person, I'm married to, this
- 24:44S6: wayward kid that just has given me fits. This extended family,
- 24:49S6: this it's funny how those circles of influence, those are
- 24:53S6: the biggest constraints or so we feel on us growing
- 24:56S6: and going with God. Right?
- 24:58S4: Yeah. And so we deny the power and the promises
- 25:00S4: of God because of what feel like insurmountable circumstances.
- 25:04S6: Yeah. Dan Seaborn, our guest coming up here in just
- 25:07S6: a moment. This is Caleb and John, somebody like me.
- 25:10S6: Welcome to the family. Those of you surrendering all you
- 25:13S6: are to Jesus today.
- 25:16S1: Take your next step with Jesus. Today you're listening to
- 25:20S1: Carl and crew.
- 25:21S6: I can't change because and I mean, there's so many
- 25:26S6: things you can go after here. And I this can
- 25:28S6: sound a little convicting only because it is. I can't
- 25:31S6: change because I'm too busy. I don't have enough willpower.
- 25:34S6: By the way, tomorrow we're going to square that one away.
- 25:37S6: All you got to do is go to John 15.
- 25:39S6: You'll figure out willpower ain't going to get you any
- 25:41S6: fruit bearing in your life. I can't change because this
- 25:44S6: stuff that I'm holding on to helps me cope with life.
- 25:48S6: I can't change because my environment makes it impossible. I
- 25:52S6: can't change because I've always been this way. Carl. But
- 25:56S6: now today we're going to come out of this shoot
- 25:58S6: hot on this Monday morning. I can't change because of
- 26:02S6: the family around me. I gotta tell you right now,
- 26:07S6: you probably know that we're going to debunk that myth,
- 26:10S6: but let's hit it head on. I've got a special guest,
- 26:13S6: Dan Seaborn. He founded Winning at Home, and it's an
- 26:16S6: organization that produces media resources, and it hosts special events
- 26:20S6: to encourage marriages and families. Dan is serving as the
- 26:24S6: leader for the marriage and family division of the a
- 26:29S6: c c this dude's been there, done that big plenary speaker,
- 26:33S6: got a lot of books and resources. We're going to
- 26:35S6: put you on to that. Dan. Good morning. And how
- 26:38S6: in the world you've heard people say this, haven't you?
- 26:40S6: You've heard people say, man, I wish I could change,
- 26:43S6: but look at the knuckleheads that are in my closest
- 26:46S6: proximity here. Dan.
- 26:48S7: Yeah, good morning Carl. Thanks for inviting me on. I
- 26:51S7: love being with you. And yeah, as I'm listening to
- 26:54S7: you talk, I'm going, oh, mercy. That's alive and well
- 26:57S7: in my family.
- 26:58S6: So yeah, I mean, and here's the tough thing. I mean,
- 27:02S6: this is real. I don't want to I don't want
- 27:06S6: to strip someone's feeling away. That man, I can't change because.
- 27:10S6: And I mean, we could go a million different directions here.
- 27:13S6: My spouse isn't born again. They're antagonistic. My wayward kids
- 27:16S6: are devouring every bit of my emotional energy. And I
- 27:19S6: don't know what to do about it. And the kids
- 27:22S6: that I'm raising, or I've got a special needs kid
- 27:25S6: or I mean, the list goes on and on, right? Dan.
- 27:28S7: Oh, it's unbelievable. And everybody listening has something in a
- 27:32S7: different angle. But let's start with this, Carl. Let's start
- 27:35S7: with our own personal heart before we even talk about
- 27:38S7: anybody else. Let's just talk about how we as individuals,
- 27:43S7: if we're going to say we're going to be followers
- 27:45S7: of Christ, if we're going to go through that type
- 27:48S7: of an analysis of our own life, which I certainly
- 27:50S7: want to do, I know you do, and many of
- 27:52S7: our listeners want to do. The first thing we have
- 27:54S7: to grapple with is our Savior was willing to change
- 27:58S7: his entire purpose of everything that he was called to
- 28:03S7: do for what God the Father called him to do.
- 28:05S7: And so, you know, as a believer, as a follower
- 28:08S7: of Christ, I gotta ask myself, wait a minute. What's
- 28:11S7: my reason for not changing? I can put it like this.
- 28:13S7: I had a lady, uh, came to me a couple
- 28:15S7: of days ago, and she actually gave me permission to
- 28:18S7: share this. This lady came into my office and she
- 28:20S7: was frustrated with something with her husband. And I said
- 28:23S7: to her, go home and you need to do this.
- 28:26S7: And she looked right at me with dead set eyes.
- 28:28S7: And she said, I can't do that. I mean, that's
- 28:31S7: what she said to me. And and I looked right
- 28:34S7: at her. I looked her dead back in the eyes.
- 28:37S7: And I said to her, you can you just don't
- 28:41S7: want to. And that's all I said. And I mean,
- 28:43S7: there was silence for probably 20s. And she came back
- 28:47S7: to me the next day and she said to me, Danny,
- 28:50S7: that was so dead on, I. I need to do that.
- 28:54S7: I know I need to change. I just don't want to. And,
- 28:57S7: and I said, did you do it? She said, I did.
- 28:59S7: I went home and I changed my spirit and my attitude.
- 29:03S7: And I am so much better today. And I think
- 29:06S7: that's what I want us just to basically start with,
- 29:08S7: is many of us are carrying something, dealing with something.
- 29:12S7: The burden of our heart got lifted because she changed
- 29:15S7: something inside her, nothing to do with her husband. She
- 29:18S7: changed something about her. And that's the first place we
- 29:21S7: gotta start.
- 29:22S6: Okay, this is interesting. So this dovetails with something crazy,
- 29:25S6: and it has to do with church planting. So bear
- 29:27S6: with me here a second. I'm asking David Nelms, who
- 29:30S6: is planting churches all around the globe, and I asked him,
- 29:33S6: how do you get this great commission mentality? And he said, oh,
- 29:37S6: that's easy. He said, A church without a great commandment
- 29:41S6: heart will never have a great commission mentality. What you're saying, Dan,
- 29:44S6: is until we get squared away, loving God with all
- 29:48S6: our heart, soul, mind and strength, we got a snowball's
- 29:51S6: chance in Gehenna of dealing with those around us. Do we?
- 29:54S7: Pointless. It's absolutely pointless because you're you're living the whole
- 29:58S7: theme of everything you're doing with looking at them. And
- 30:01S7: you got to start with yourself. And the more you
- 30:04S7: do that, the more you submit, the more you surrender.
- 30:07S7: Now let let's be quick to say here, Carl, I'm
- 30:09S7: not telling someone who's in an abusive relationship, you know,
- 30:12S7: not not nothing like that. I'm talking about the average,
- 30:15S7: just good old hard heart. And you know that most
- 30:18S7: of us sometimes have. That is an issue that we
- 30:22S7: need to grapple with ourselves before we even think about
- 30:25S7: somebody else.
- 30:26S6: What about let's, let's pressure test this because any good
- 30:31S6: couple that's fought for their marriage, not fought in marriage,
- 30:35S6: but fought for it, which sometimes it gets heated and
- 30:39S6: it's hard and tears flow. There has to be a
- 30:43S6: point at which you don't keep pointing fingers and you
- 30:48S6: begin to look at yourself. But a lot of people
- 30:50S6: listening right now are saying, Dan, you don't understand what
- 30:53S6: I'm living with. You don't understand my situation. But you do,
- 30:57S6: don't you, Dan?
- 30:58S7: Yeah. And I would actually say back to that person
- 31:01S7: something I'm learning myself. And that's this every year when
- 31:04S7: we look at our marriage, look at our family, we
- 31:07S7: usually judge, analyze it, look at it and go, okay,
- 31:10S7: are we better than we were last year? And for
- 31:11S7: most of us, we're looking at better cars, better houses,
- 31:15S7: better this, better that. And I'm, I've been asking myself
- 31:18S7: lately this, this is hard. And I don't like it,
- 31:22S7: but I've been asking myself lately. Did a little more
- 31:24S7: of me die this year? Did I surrender a little
- 31:28S7: bit more of something that I thought I had to
- 31:31S7: have to be able to get what I need? And
- 31:33S7: the Lord has just been really showing me this. Life
- 31:36S7: is a journey of a little bit of Dan needs
- 31:39S7: to die this year because there's something inside me that holds.
- 31:42S7: Bitterness needs to change, and I don't like it. But
- 31:46S7: here's the crazy part for me, Carl. Every time I
- 31:48S7: do it, I can't explain this other than it's biblical.
- 31:51S7: The Lord says, if you will submit and humble yourselves,
- 31:54S7: he will elevate you. There is a peace that comes
- 31:57S7: with every. It looks like you are losing and in
- 32:01S7: your marriage situation. If you surrender or die a little
- 32:04S7: bit to self, it looks like they're winning, but you're
- 32:07S7: actually winning. I can't even explain that other than to
- 32:10S7: use the example of Jesus on the cross. The people
- 32:13S7: who were literally looking at him going, you're lost, we
- 32:16S7: got you. And inside, you know, he's thinking, you'll see.
- 32:20S7: And so I believe that we need to be looking
- 32:23S7: at changing that part of ourselves in our surrender. We
- 32:26S7: actually gain and win. And then our marriage wins and
- 32:29S7: our family wins big time.
- 32:30S6: Dan Seaborn, my guest right now, we're going to we're
- 32:33S6: going to continue on this discussion. Before we jump to
- 32:36S6: the other side, Dan, I got to tell you, it's been. Oh, goodness. Oh,
- 32:42S6: I read this book first Time Humility by Andrew Murray
- 32:45S6: many years ago. But boy, I've been in the last
- 32:47S6: ten years, I've been camped out and now I've got
- 32:49S6: people giving me every version of this thing you can imagine,
- 32:53S6: he says, humility is the one virtue that gives birth
- 32:56S6: to every other virtue. Dan, it is hard to the
- 33:00S6: person who says, how can I humble myself under God's
- 33:03S6: mighty hand? You were just quoting first. I think it's
- 33:05S6: first Peter 516. How can in the world can I
- 33:08S6: do that? Trusting that he'll lift me up when all
- 33:12S6: this stuff is going on around me. It could be
- 33:14S6: blended family issues, could be kids run amok, could be
- 33:17S6: heartache of of lost kids that are verbally abusive and
- 33:21S6: a spouse that's lost. How do you do that, Dan?
- 33:24S7: By faith. Believing that what God's Word says is true.
- 33:29S7: You're not going to be able to do it relying
- 33:31S7: on your own. Well, I see, I see this where
- 33:34S7: this is headed. Oh, this is easy for me to
- 33:36S7: do this. No it's not. This hasn't been the most
- 33:38S7: painful journey of my life. Is having to surrender things
- 33:43S7: where I'm sure, absolutely sure that I'm right. I think
- 33:47S7: I'm right. And to have to lay that down for
- 33:50S7: a bigger purpose has been the hardest part of my
- 33:52S7: personal life, and I want anyone who says they're grappling
- 33:56S7: with something really heavy. With that, I want to say
- 33:58S7: to you, I'm your comrade. I'm with you. Believe in you.
- 34:02S7: Keep making that decision because I believe God. If his
- 34:05S7: word is true and we all believe it, then he's
- 34:07S7: going to honor that submission.
- 34:09S6: Amen. Dan Seaborn. My guests coming up here, we're going
- 34:12S6: to get really practical and talk about resources because once
- 34:16S6: you've postured yourself in humility, brokenness, utter dependence on God,
- 34:21S6: and you say like, David, search me, know me, try me.
- 34:24S6: See if there'd be any hurtful way in me. Then
- 34:27S6: we can talk about family. Hang on.
- 34:30S1: Your shot of hope to get you through the day.
- 34:33S5: You are so, so loved. God does not want you
- 34:36S5: to stay in your past. And I want you to
- 34:39S5: know and believe that today.
- 34:40S1: You're listening to Carl and Crew.
- 34:42S6: Dan Seaborn. My guest right now, we're talking. I can't
- 34:46S6: change because all week long and today with Dan, we're tackling.
- 34:50S6: I can't change because my spouse, because my kids, because
- 34:56S6: my blended family, because of no finances in the home.
- 35:00S6: The list goes on and on. Dan, there's so many
- 35:03S6: directions we can go here. The first direction you've already
- 35:05S6: given us here. And if you're just joining us, boom crew. Dan,
- 35:09S6: quick recap. As hard as it is, we got to
- 35:12S6: quit looking at those around us. And first things first
- 35:14S6: we got to get the oxygen mask on us with God,
- 35:17S6: don't we?
- 35:18S7: Yeah, absolutely. And you know, one of the key moments
- 35:20S7: for me, Carl, that happened was we had a counselor here.
- 35:23S7: You know, our ministry has several counselors and coaches. I'm
- 35:26S7: a pastor, not a counselor and coach, but I have
- 35:27S7: the honor of working alongside them. And one of ours,
- 35:31S7: his name is Jim Beck. He was very close to
- 35:34S7: the end of his life. He was in the hospital.
- 35:35S7: He had cancer. He was passing away. And I, I
- 35:37S7: went to visit him and I'm sitting by his bedside.
- 35:40S7: And I looked at him and I said, Jim, um,
- 35:43S7: I just have a couple of questions to run by you.
- 35:45S7: Anything I can do to help your wife, She was
- 35:47S7: going to be remaining behind. And then also I just
- 35:51S7: cared about him as a person. And I said, but
- 35:53S7: one of the things I love is can you just
- 35:56S7: leave me a final little quote? He was older than me,
- 35:58S7: a real mentor of mine. And I said, Jim, can
- 36:00S7: you just can you just give me a, a little
- 36:02S7: phrase for me to carry in life and all he did?
- 36:05S7: He looked right at me, Carl, and he said, just
- 36:07S7: remember this, Dan. And I said, okay, I got it.
- 36:09S7: You know, I'm on the edge of the seat. And
- 36:10S7: he goes, if nothing changes, nothing changes. That's all he said.
- 36:15S7: He just looked at me and said, if nothing changes,
- 36:18S7: nothing changes. And I literally went, huh? I went, huh?
- 36:22S7: And he's like, no, Dan, think about this. If nothing changes,
- 36:26S7: you're you're a pastor. You travel the world, you preach.
- 36:28S7: ET cetera. ET cetera. But all of that, if you
- 36:31S7: got stuff in your life that you need to change
- 36:33S7: and you're not willing to change it, then nothing's going
- 36:35S7: to change. And I mean, it hit me enough that
- 36:38S7: I put it as a quote here at the offices,
- 36:40S7: because if you think about that, what you're saying is, nope,
- 36:44S7: I'm going to keep living this way. way. I'm gonna
- 36:45S7: keep doing this. We'll project that out for ten years,
- 36:47S7: project it out for 20 years. Do you like where
- 36:50S7: you're going to be? Look back. You're going to be regretful.
- 36:53S7: And so I love that phrase. If nothing changes, nothing changes.
- 36:58S7: So act on that today. Act on that today.
- 37:01S6: Yeah. And and look at yourself first. Okay. Now where
- 37:04S6: do we go from there? Because we know that it's
- 37:07S6: not righteous to be bulldozed. And we maybe I'm here's
- 37:13S6: what I'm thinking about. I'm thinking about the marriages where
- 37:16S6: there's an unsaved spouse or someone who has picked up
- 37:20S6: some idols of pornography or addiction of some kind, could
- 37:25S6: be husband. Wife, could goes both ways. It's not one.
- 37:28S6: The dudes aren't always the bad guys here. What do
- 37:31S6: you say to a situation like that, Dan?
- 37:34S7: Don't try to go it alone. Make sure you get
- 37:37S7: somebody in your life, a confidant, someone you can talk
- 37:41S7: to who just walks along beside you and gives you
- 37:44S7: godly encouragement. Godly advice. You know, I, I love my
- 37:48S7: situation here, Carl. Everybody's going to laugh, but I have
- 37:50S7: about 30 coaches and counselors around me. And sometimes my office,
- 37:54S7: I can see out the windows. And sometimes if I'm
- 37:56S7: struggling with something, I'll see one of them walking in
- 37:59S7: and I'll go yell their name and say, hey, come
- 38:00S7: in my office a second. I, I get free counseling
- 38:03S7: for about five minutes and it helps me to know
- 38:06S7: I got people in this journey with me. I got
- 38:09S7: somebody who comes alongside me and helps me look at
- 38:12S7: my situation and gives me better balance. And that's one
- 38:15S7: of the reasons we need friendships and we need relationships.
- 38:17S7: And I know there's some maybe a guy listening right
- 38:20S7: now goes, I'm not going to do that. And I
- 38:22S7: would say to you, if nothing changes, nothing changes. Go
- 38:26S7: and talk with someone. Let them give you some advice.
- 38:29S7: It's okay. Say, I was listening to this guy on
- 38:31S7: the radio and he was really messed up and said
- 38:34S7: he talked to a counselor. Would you be willing to
- 38:36S7: talk to me? Just use me if you need to,
- 38:38S7: because we're all in this journey together. And one of
- 38:42S7: the things I love to do is come alongside people
- 38:45S7: who are struggling with that. Being a pastor myself, I
- 38:47S7: tell pastors all the time, come in my office, tell
- 38:50S7: me what you're dealing with, man. Tell me how tough
- 38:52S7: you are stuffing your marriage stuff in your life. Tell
- 38:55S7: me I'm here for you. I want to be alongside
- 38:57S7: you because that's what Jesus does for us. He he
- 39:00S7: does not listen to our story and go, oh, you're
- 39:02S7: a little too tainted to help. He doesn't do that.
- 39:05S7: He listens to our story and says, I, I came
- 39:08S7: to redeem that mess. And sometimes we just need somebody
- 39:11S7: else in our court that says, hey, man, I get
- 39:14S7: your story. I understand where you're at. Let me walk
- 39:16S7: alongside you. So that's a first step.
- 39:18S6: You're bullish on God, aren't you? You're bullish on God's ability.
- 39:22S6: I mean you really are.
- 39:24S7: Yeah.
- 39:24S6: Dan Seaborn, my guest right now. You know what. I
- 39:28S6: want to point people to resources and you've got them
- 39:30S6: on your website winning at home. And the key word
- 39:34S6: I'm going to give it to you now. Boom crew.
- 39:35S6: It's winning to 805, five five, 78, 98. She says
- 39:39S6: one word winning to 805 5578, 98. Uh, you know,
- 39:47S6: I love your realness. I love your authenticity. I love
- 39:50S6: your passion. I love your bullishness on the gospel. What
- 39:57S6: usually keeps people from making that move that they need
- 40:01S6: to make going first look at me, and then I
- 40:03S6: can look with objectivity at the situations family that could
- 40:07S6: be as dysfunctional as you can imagine. What keeps people
- 40:12S6: from that? What's that impasse?
- 40:15S7: Well, I think it comes down to the fact that
- 40:17S7: we feel like if we have to accept that or
- 40:19S7: admit that, then we have to accept that we're a
- 40:22S7: failure and nobody in this world wants to be a failure.
- 40:25S7: And I know for me, when I'm not willing to
- 40:28S7: confront those things and talk about those things, it's because
- 40:31S7: I'm going to have to be a little humble and say,
- 40:33S7: you know what? I don't have all my stuff together.
- 40:35S7: And I just got to admit that. And the more
- 40:38S7: I do that, the more I submit even that, you know, I,
- 40:42S7: I think so often we don't see that as, um,
- 40:45S7: as big of a sin or as big of a
- 40:48S7: stumbling block to help us get where we need to
- 40:50S7: in our life as we should. We look out at
- 40:53S7: sexual sins and go, oh, that one's so big and
- 40:55S7: so obvious. But sometimes I think it comes down to
- 40:57S7: that little bit of hard heart I got going on,
- 40:59S7: or that little bit of embarrassment I got going on
- 41:01S7: inside me that I don't want somebody to know. I'm.
- 41:04S7: I'm less than they think I am. Well guess what?
- 41:07S7: We're all a little less than we think our are.
- 41:08S7: The only thing we are is what the Lord Jesus
- 41:11S7: allows us to be. And the more I can humble
- 41:13S7: myself and get myself out of the way, the more
- 41:16S7: God can use my life for his purpose. So if
- 41:18S7: somebody today is at a place where they go, well, I'm,
- 41:21S7: I'm not going to, I'm not going to break down
- 41:23S7: my little 20%. It's my husband's 80%. Until that 20%
- 41:27S7: gets dealt with, you won't be able to see a
- 41:30S7: lot of change. And I, at the end of my life,
- 41:33S7: I am responsible to the Lord for what I did
- 41:35S7: with my journey. I'm not responsible for my spouse's journey.
- 41:38S7: They will stand and answer before the Lord. That's their deal.
- 41:41S7: But I'm responsible for me, and I'm not going to
- 41:44S7: finish this life with 10% still hanging on. And I
- 41:47S7: just encourage all those listening today to say, what can
- 41:50S7: I do? What step can I take? That's what Jesus did.
- 41:53S7: That's what Jesus.
- 41:54S6: Did. I've got stamp of approval on this guy's site.
- 41:58S6: Dan Seaborn it's called winning at home. The key word
- 42:01S6: is winning to 805, five, five, 78, 98. We're talking.
- 42:05S6: We've got adult counseling, child adolescent counseling, on site counseling.
- 42:10S6: But they can do it via Zoom too. And it
- 42:12S6: can be so effective. And then they've got coaching, premarital coaching,
- 42:16S6: coaching teams. They've got them all laid out there. They've
- 42:18S6: got events that they're hosting and resources. No pay wall.
- 42:21S6: You can go on there and get articles and videos
- 42:24S6: and everything you need right now. This is a one
- 42:26S6: stop place, man. Guys. Text winning to 805 78. 98.
- 42:33S6: One Word winning 805. 5578. 98.
- 42:38S1: Standing on the rock. Each and every day, you're listening
- 42:42S1: to cast and crew.
- 42:44S6: You look at a guy like this guy we're talking
- 42:46S6: with right now and you think, wow, he must have
- 42:49S6: had a great start. I mean, he must have had
- 42:51S6: this anchor man. I mean, this firm foundation, his mom
- 42:56S6: and dad must have been rock solid with Jesus. You
- 42:58S6: know what? Some stories prove that our God can change everything, right, Ali?
- 43:04S4: Yeah. We've got Jim Daly with us right now. He's
- 43:06S4: the president and chief executive officer of focus on the family,
- 43:10S4: well known International Christian Organization. Tell us a little bit
- 43:14S4: about your story. Start from the beginning because you did
- 43:17S4: not have what many would consider a any sort of
- 43:20S4: a privileged childhood.
- 43:22S8: No. Uh, and that's okay. Let me start there. That
- 43:26S8: God had a plan for me. I got a short
- 43:28S8: stick to draw, but that's okay. You got to get
- 43:31S8: to the point where you say, Lord, if you want
- 43:32S8: me to walk this, I will walk it. And that's
- 43:34S8: the happy ending. But the beginning was tough. Orphan kid.
- 43:38S8: My mom and dad divorced when I was five. She
- 43:41S8: remarried a horrible stepdad when I was eight. He was
- 43:45S8: really terrible. My mom died of cancer a year and
- 43:48S8: a half after they got married, so I was probably
- 43:50S8: nine and a half right around there. And, uh, the
- 43:53S8: day of her funeral, we got back and Hank, our stepfather,
- 43:58S8: came out of the back bedroom with his bags packed
- 44:01S8: and said, you know, I can't take the stress. I'm
- 44:03S8: leaving and I'm nine years old going, what do I do?
- 44:07S8: And I ended up in foster care. Not a great situation,
- 44:11S8: a lot of turmoil in that foster care. In fact,
- 44:14S8: six months in, the social worker met us for the
- 44:16S8: first time. She was a wise woman, probably 25 years old,
- 44:21S8: and she came to assess our situation. And she looked
- 44:24S8: at me and said, you know, we got a problem.
- 44:26S8: And I thought to myself, wow, an adult that actually
- 44:29S8: sees what's real. I thought I was the only one
- 44:31S8: that could see it. And she looked at me and said, well, Mr.
- 44:34S8: Real said you tried to kill him. And she's looking
- 44:37S8: at me. And I'm like, how? Well, he said, you
- 44:40S8: tried to push him off a cliff. And I said, well,
- 44:42S8: we we live in Morongo Valley now. I'm in fourth
- 44:45S8: grade dealing with that. Oh, and, uh, you know, the
- 44:49S8: thing rolls on. I was there a year. My bio
- 44:51S8: dad reconnected with us. He was still dealing with alcoholism,
- 44:55S8: but my sister and I moved in with him. And
- 44:58S8: then I lived there a year. My sister turned 18,
- 45:01S8: I was probably 11, and I had to tell him
- 45:05S8: that I didn't want to live with him anymore. My
- 45:07S8: siblings thought that would be best, so I moved in
- 45:09S8: with my brother, who had just married his 16 year
- 45:13S8: old pregnant girlfriend. So that was the household. I remember
- 45:16S8: saying to her, what do I what do I call you?
- 45:18S8: And she looked at me and said, well, you can
- 45:19S8: call me mom. And I'm thinking, I'm closer to your
- 45:22S8: age than my brother. Oh, so that, you know, I
- 45:25S8: guess it just shows the chaos of what family is now.
- 45:29S8: Many people experience some portion of that. And I you know,
- 45:33S8: the good news was I had a great football coach,
- 45:35S8: Paul Morrow. He passed away not long ago, and he
- 45:38S8: took me under his wing and took me to a
- 45:40S8: Fellowship of Christian Athletes camp. And this guy got down there.
- 45:44S8: I think he was the backup quarterback at that time
- 45:46S8: for the San Diego Chargers. Can't remember his name, but
- 45:50S8: he said, have men let you down? Has your father
- 45:52S8: let you down? Has your stepfather let you down?
- 45:54S6: Check, check.
- 45:56S8: This is crazy. And so, you know, I ended up
- 45:59S8: giving my life to the Lord at 15, but I
- 46:01S8: wobbled and I'm just grateful. The Lord never gave up
- 46:04S8: on me. And thankfully, I never gave up on him, man.
- 46:07S6: Jim Daly, our guest right now. Take us back there.
- 46:09S6: Were you a kid that was storing explosives, stuffing all
- 46:13S6: this stuff, or were you emoting? How were you processing
- 46:16S6: all that chaos?
- 46:17S8: You know, this is one of the toughest questions because
- 46:20S8: when I speak and give my testimony, people, men particularly,
- 46:23S8: will stand afterward and talk with me one on one
- 46:26S8: and it's, you know, 40, 50, 60 year old men
- 46:29S8: who are in tears and they're going, I've never been
- 46:32S8: able to forgive my father. And I don't know, I,
- 46:35S8: I guess it's the grace of God. I just never had.
- 46:38S8: I just felt like everybody's got trouble in this life.
- 46:43S8: And that's even as a ten, 11 year old, that's
- 46:45S8: how I saw my dad. He couldn't hold it together.
- 46:48S8: And I think the key was I never felt ownership
- 46:51S8: from my father's bad decisions. Wow. And that's one of
- 46:54S8: the things, you know, so many psychologists would say is
- 46:57S8: the kids take the guilt of those decisions, poor decisions
- 47:03S8: of their parents. And I just had the grace of
- 47:06S8: God to be able to understand that's this is his
- 47:10S8: life and I've got my life. And I'll tell you,
- 47:13S8: one of the profound things I learned was saying to
- 47:18S8: myself at that age, I want to be a better dad.
- 47:21S8: And I think, you know, almost makes.
- 47:23S6: Me cry.
- 47:24S8: Jim. Well, the thing that hits me, my two boys,
- 47:26S8: 25 and 23. And when we tip into a discussion
- 47:30S8: like this, they're like, dad, you are the best dad
- 47:33S8: we could ever have. And, you know, I was just
- 47:35S8: conscious of not breaking my promises, spending time with them,
- 47:41S8: being present with them. I never let my workload at
- 47:44S8: focus come home with me. So we did a lot
- 47:47S8: of fun things. We laughed a lot. And to me,
- 47:50S8: I could look at this position of focus and say,
- 47:52S8: look what I achieved. I could care less what counted most.
- 47:55S8: I mean, I'd go meet with presidents and senators. What
- 47:58S8: I loved was coming home in the driveway and having
- 48:01S8: my boys, when they were young come out and hug
- 48:03S8: my legs, and I'd walk in monster style and yes,
- 48:07S8: and we'd play and giggle and tickle and, you know,
- 48:09S8: all the fun stuff. That was the highlight of my day.
- 48:12S8: Not meeting a president.
- 48:14S4: Wow. Jim Daly, our guest right now, president and CEO
- 48:16S4: of focus on the family. If you're not familiar with
- 48:19S4: this ministry, global Christian ministry dedicated to helping families thrive.
- 48:23S4: I mean, you must have such a passion for what
- 48:26S4: you get to do. I mean, you're focused on the family,
- 48:28S4: helps build healthy marriages, helps parents grounded in biblical principles.
- 48:33S4: None of this was modeled for you necessarily, and that
- 48:36S4: many people feel like that, like they did not get
- 48:39S4: this modeled. But yet we can, by the power of Christ,
- 48:42S4: we can live a different story. Talk a little bit
- 48:45S4: about the mission and the heart behind what you get
- 48:47S4: to do.
- 48:48S8: You know, it starts with arrogance. I came here after
- 48:51S8: working in the business world. I did my MBA international paper.
- 48:56S8: I was moving up in the chain of command, and
- 48:58S8: my wife and I, she was going to UC Davis
- 49:00S8: as a pre-vet major, which is be careful there. If
- 49:04S8: you if you don't get into vet school, you go
- 49:06S8: to med school. Just think about that for a minute.
- 49:10S6: Okay. That's that's something.
- 49:12S8: Yeah, yeah, just check that certificate out on your doctor's wall. But, uh, anyway,
- 49:18S8: so we, you know, we pulled in, we got the
- 49:20S8: job at focus. We applied. It was a, it was
- 49:23S8: a real reduction in salary and all that. But Jean
- 49:26S8: and I drove up and this is the arrogance part.
- 49:28S8: We drove up here in Pomona actually, when focus was
- 49:31S8: still out there. And Jean and I went, let's give
- 49:33S8: this a year or two, like a missions trip. So,
- 49:36S8: I mean, I'm sure in God's ears he's hearing, oh,
- 49:39S8: isn't that nice that Jim and Jean are going to
- 49:41S8: give me two years of their life? Do they know
- 49:44S8: what's going to happen? So we weren't in this for
- 49:47S8: the long haul. We were just going to go back
- 49:49S8: into the business world and make enough money to get
- 49:52S8: a house and start a family and do all the
- 49:53S8: normal things. But it just kept rolling here. You know,
- 49:56S8: Doctor Dobson, I worked with him for 16 years before
- 49:59S8: he asked me to be president in 2005. But that
- 50:03S8: mission comment that you made, Ali, is so critical. Um,
- 50:07S8: you know, I was selling paper at international paper and
- 50:09S8: I thought to myself, that's a good thing. You can
- 50:11S8: be a witness for Christ no matter what you do.
- 50:15S8: So it doesn't diminish anybody's vocation. But when you get
- 50:18S8: that special call, man, do it unto the Lord as
- 50:23S8: we all should be doing. But for me to match
- 50:25S8: that pain with this passion was a gift from the
- 50:30S8: Lord that he allowed me to come in here and
- 50:32S8: be a part of something that is saving people's lives
- 50:35S8: every day in all kinds of ways. I mean, we've
- 50:38S8: had over 550,000 babies saved through option ultrasound. That's equipping
- 50:44S8: those clinics with ultrasound. I think we were the first
- 50:47S8: one in that area 20 years ago. 22 years ago,
- 50:50S8: we had a chapel speaker and she was saying she
- 50:53S8: was aborted but survived. Grew up in terrible poverty, horrible
- 50:57S8: situation in and out of foster care. And she said
- 51:01S8: Odyssey Adventures in Odyssey is what gave her that spiritual
- 51:04S8: underpinning to later become a Christian. That's a good.
- 51:08S6: Mission. Uh, Jim Daly, our guest right now, president and
- 51:11S6: CEO of focus on the family and a radically committed
- 51:15S6: Jesus follower. And all that proves is God's unmerited favor,
- 51:19S6: and his unparalleled power can be deposited in the heart
- 51:22S6: of anyone who would open it to the Lord. Coming
- 51:25S6: up here. Gym family. Oh man, things are changing quickly.
- 51:30S6: I want to get an overview of that and a
- 51:32S6: podcast that our man, Jim Daly has all that content
- 51:35S6: straight ahead. Boom. Crew. Hang on.
- 51:38S1: Start your day moving closer to Jesus. You're listening to
- 51:42S1: cast and crew.
- 51:43S6: So when you taste the grace of God. Ooh. Katy,
- 51:47S6: bar the door because you want others to get it.
- 51:49S6: And that's our man right now. Jim Daly. Uh, focus
- 51:52S6: on the family. You guys have been in the trenches.
- 51:55S6: Adventures in Odyssey. Uh, but, boy, the family, it's changed, man.
- 52:01S6: It's Overton's window. I don't even know how to put
- 52:04S6: words to it. Jim, what are you seeing shifting radically
- 52:07S6: with regard to the family? And how are you addressing it?
- 52:11S8: You know, one of the things we have counselors here
- 52:14S8: at focus on the family. So at the end of
- 52:15S8: the focus broadcast or many of the podcasts we do,
- 52:18S8: we give an invitation for people to call those counselors.
- 52:21S8: They do, you know, 1100 1500 calls a month. And
- 52:25S8: these are, you know, 30, 60 minute calls. They're a
- 52:28S8: full on counseling call and they're all state licensed counselors.
- 52:32S8: They're trying to help somebody go deeper and understand better
- 52:35S8: the dilemma they might be in and the way out,
- 52:38S8: the biblical path to get out. So even for your listeners, man,
- 52:41S8: if anybody needs help in that way, just call. It's free.
- 52:44S8: You know, the donors underwrite that. So in that context,
- 52:47S8: we watched those themes and for many years, LGBT issues
- 52:52S8: were at near the top, which seemed so disproportionate for
- 52:57S8: generally a Christian community, right. But it tended to be
- 53:00S8: around like grandparents who were calling and saying, we can't
- 53:02S8: see our grandson unless we put him in a dress.
- 53:05S8: Our adult children won't let them come to our house.
- 53:08S8: I mean, what's the biblical answer to that? And so
- 53:11S8: our counselors are, you know, trying to help these grandparents
- 53:14S8: or parents deal with the fallout of what's happening in
- 53:18S8: the culture right now. I would only say David Brooks,
- 53:21S8: his piece in the New York Times Heritage with their
- 53:24S8: release of, hey, guess what? The family is the most
- 53:27S8: critical thing we should be working on. Uh, Erica Kirk
- 53:31S8: at the memorial for Charlie Kirk saying if he ever
- 53:34S8: became president, he said his number one mission would be
- 53:38S8: to strengthen the American family. So there is a choir
- 53:42S8: now that is rising to say we see the data.
- 53:45S8: And when you look at all the social science, broken
- 53:49S8: families create broken culture. And we're living in it right now.
- 53:53S8: So we could talk about all the, you know, effects
- 53:56S8: of that. But basically the bottom line is children do
- 53:59S8: best in a loving two parent mom and dad family.
- 54:03S8: That's where they statistically do best. Does that mean everybody's
- 54:07S8: going to do well? No, it's just the best arrangement
- 54:10S8: for children to thrive. And you know, I overcame it.
- 54:14S8: So it's possible. I don't want single parent moms to go,
- 54:17S8: there's no hope. There is God. That's the hope. He
- 54:20S8: can take care of those wounds. But man, why start
- 54:24S8: in a deficit? Let's work on our marriages. Let's strengthen
- 54:27S8: our marriages, especially in the Christian community. And I think
- 54:31S8: the culture and the the whole country will be better
- 54:34S8: off for it.
- 54:35S4: Jim Daly, our guest right now from focus on the family.
- 54:37S4: We know, you know, we say often around here that
- 54:39S4: all truth is God's truth. So when you say something like, statistically,
- 54:43S4: children just do better with a mom and a dad
- 54:46S4: who are married, who live in the same house, that
- 54:48S4: almost is offensive to people because it sounds like very Christian,
- 54:53S4: and it is because it's God's truth. How do we
- 54:56S4: live in a culture where we live out our faith
- 54:59S4: and our values in a way that is winsome, in
- 55:02S4: a culture that's becoming increasingly hostile to the Christian worldview
- 55:06S4: without getting caught up in culture wars of tangential issues
- 55:11S4: that aren't the main thing. How do we keep the
- 55:13S4: main thing the main thing?
- 55:15S8: A biblical thought that I have been just thinking about
- 55:19S8: for a few years now really is Jesus in front
- 55:21S8: of Pontius Pilate? Think of Pontius Pilate. It may have
- 55:25S8: been a gold laden bowl. The water he washed his
- 55:28S8: hands in and said, you know, I'm washing my hands
- 55:31S8: of this. And Jesus is standing in front of him, beaten, scourged,
- 55:37S8: about to go to the cross. And you think about this,
- 55:41S8: and the Lord knows in 400 years the Roman Empire
- 55:45S8: is gone. He knows that. And yet he doesn't say anything.
- 55:49S8: He doesn't say, yeah, well, you know what, Pontius? Your
- 55:52S8: whole thing is coming down. And be sure to tell Caesar.
- 55:55S8: I'll make sure he doesn't have that confrontational viewpoint. And
- 55:59S8: I think it's a bit of an indication for us.
- 56:01S8: And what I mean by that is we've got to
- 56:03S8: speak truth. You know, they're in the Roman Empire. That's
- 56:06S8: a dictatorship. It's Caesar. And what Caesar says, we have
- 56:10S8: the benefit of living in a democratic republic. We can vote,
- 56:15S8: we can persuade. We can ask people to consider the
- 56:19S8: ways and the people that they want in office. To
- 56:21S8: your point, what is good and what is useful in
- 56:25S8: how we construct a culture? And I believe I think
- 56:28S8: as you believe, Christian values are the way to go.
- 56:31S8: You know, a loving mom and dad, and it produces
- 56:34S8: healthy children and they grow up and they do the same.
- 56:37S8: And we have a productive culture. So I think the
- 56:40S8: answer to the question is, don't take the bait. Like
- 56:45S8: Jesus didn't take Pontius bait to get into that discussion.
- 56:50S8: But we have influence. We can exercise that influence. We
- 56:54S8: should vote. We can be engaged, talk to people. The
- 56:58S8: one thing that I have found is if you're just silent,
- 57:01S8: if they have shamed you into a place of not
- 57:03S8: saying anything. It's hard for the Lord to put wind
- 57:07S8: in that sail. You've got to be moving. You got
- 57:09S8: to be talking with people willing to talk to people.
- 57:12S8: But here's the key. Don't go out of your way
- 57:14S8: to be hated. Let the scripture do that. I mean,
- 57:17S8: we in the Christian community just have a great skill
- 57:20S8: set of being obnoxious at times. Yeah. And I don't
- 57:23S8: see that in the scripture anyway. In fact, it talks
- 57:25S8: about speaking to the world with grace, with truth, but
- 57:29S8: being generous of spirit. Those kinds of things. Yeah. I
- 57:33S8: remember speaking at a book signing for refocus, which is
- 57:37S8: the name of the podcast, and a gay activist was there.
- 57:40S8: It was at a liberal bookstore here in Colorado Springs,
- 57:42S8: and this guy put his hand up after I presented.
- 57:45S8: He said, you know, when are the Christians going to
- 57:47S8: get caught up to the 21st century and kind of
- 57:50S8: get up on, you know, ahead of your sexual ethics?
- 57:52S8: You're like antiquated people. I said, you know, that's really
- 57:56S8: kind of you to want to make me the editor
- 57:58S8: of the book, but I'm just a follower. I didn't
- 58:00S8: write it. I'm a Christian. I believe in Christ and
- 58:03S8: I follow his system, his rules, his beliefs, his communication
- 58:09S8: to us, his teaching. And I'm simply a follower, so
- 58:12S8: you might want to take it up with him. And
- 58:13S8: he sat down and said, Touche.
- 58:15S6: Yeah. No, that's that's powerful. You know what? I want
- 58:18S6: us to drill down one more second on this before
- 58:19S6: we let you go. And then we've got a keyword
- 58:21S6: for you. Boom crew. I did a post that went
- 58:25S6: somewhat viral, and I'm going to tell you what I
- 58:29S6: had to spend my time doing with this post. And
- 58:32S6: it's sad. I had to protect Christians from being stupid.
- 58:38S6: I was blocking Christians who were. And I use this
- 58:43S6: term here. Angry evangelicals and angry evangelicals have never turned
- 58:47S6: anyone on to Jesus. That's beautiful. What you just shared
- 58:50S6: about what Jesus did before Pilate and Paul before Agrippa, right?
- 58:55S6: He didn't blast him. He brought conviction, but he was
- 59:00S6: rather loving. I want you to put up a warning
- 59:02S6: flag here, Jim, from your perspective, why angry evangelicalism ain't
- 59:07S6: going to cut it going forward.
- 59:09S8: It divides the heart. I mean, one thing I say
- 59:12S8: when I give a speech in front of an audience
- 59:14S8: is how many people here love the Lord? Boom. All
- 59:16S8: the hands go up. I said, okay. Now, how many
- 59:19S8: of you came to Christ in this way? The person
- 59:22S8: you were talking to before you were a Christian said,
- 59:25S8: you know what? We don't like you. You don't follow
- 59:28S8: the the patterns that make human flourishing the right way,
- 59:32S8: the healthy way. You're anti-God, you're this, you're that. How
- 59:36S8: many of you said, wow, I feel so hated by
- 59:40S8: the Christians. I decided to become one of them. It
- 59:43S8: doesn't happen that way. I've never had anybody ever. Everybody
- 59:47S8: says it was their kindness. Those Christians that talked with me,
- 59:52S8: they had this odd love for me, even though I
- 59:54S8: didn't believe what they believed or I spit in their face,
- 59:57S8: whatever it may have been. That's the power of God.
- 1:00:00S8: And when you look at the world and you look
- 1:00:02S8: at our own hearts as human beings, I mean, when
- 1:00:05S8: you treat people with sincerity, with love, like God talked about,
- 1:00:10S8: like the Lord talked about. He's written the DNA in
- 1:00:13S8: our hearts spiritually. I think there's a secret code in
- 1:00:16S8: there that our hearts crack when people treat us kindly
- 1:00:20S8: and lovingly. He's put it in us and even some
- 1:00:23S8: of the hardest LGBT people, or leftist people or anti-God people.
- 1:00:28S8: I've been with them. I've seen it happen. I've seen
- 1:00:31S8: them cry when they feel loved.
- 1:00:33S4: Jim Daly, our guest. Focus on the family. If you
- 1:00:36S4: want more text, focus to (800) 555-7898, text focus to 805 557898.
- 1:00:46S4: We'll link you to that podcast and also give you
- 1:00:48S4: the information for that counseling line that he mentioned is
- 1:00:51S4: available through focus on the family. Just text focus to
- 1:00:53S4: 805 557898.