Latest / Funny Comedy | Laugh Out Loud / S4 Ep27: Unfiltered & Funny: Gary Owen Unleashed 🤣

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S4 Ep27: Unfiltered & Funny: Gary Owen Unleashed 🤣 · Funny Comedy | Laugh Out Loud

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's funny, like I I've been with wife for 20 years now, right?
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_01: And it's funny when you're with somebody that long.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like you figure at this point of our relationship, there's nothing she can do that could surprise me as far as like the racial stuff, right?
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_01: The difference between black and white stuff.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: But she still be doing stuff that confuses me, right?
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_01: Like we got a pool in our backyard, and my wife put on my wife put on a bathing suit, and she'll head to the backyard, and I'll be looking at her, I was like, What you doing, baby?
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: Going swimming?
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: She's like, No, I'm just gonna go lay out.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: Like, for what?
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_01: You're already black, baby.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you have won the tannic game.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: I just don't know what the goal is back there, you know?
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: Like, little more if we'll go outside, and an hour later she'll come back in.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: She'll be like, Gary, look how dark I got.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, You was dark when you left.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_01: She don't get no darker.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: I don't do that in the winter.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: I don't go in the snow and come back in, baby.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: Look how white I am.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_01: It's like I'm a snowman.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_01: We got two boys and a girl, man.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you know, my daughter's the youngest, and you know, she's the she's the militant one in the family, though.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: Man, she don't want to be white at all.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: My boys don't care.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: They ain't tripping off nothing, but my daughter, man.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: Everything goes wrong with life is my fault.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: My f fault.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: Like we'll like I said, we got a pool in our backyard and the whole family be in the backyard swimming.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: You know, my wife and the boys, they'd be out there all day.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: My daughter's fair skinned, so she's the last one in the family.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: So every 20, 30 minutes, me and her gotta duck back in, put some aloe vera on, come back out.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: She'll be mad.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: It's your fault, Dan.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_01: Like I already know when my daughter gets to college, she's gonna be leading all the protesters and all the marches, you know?
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_01: I call her Kennedy Kaepernick.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: Jesus Christ.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_01: She's serious with her, you know?
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: Like my daughter got mad at me last year because I stood up, I stood up during the national anthem.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: She goes, You just gonna stand?
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_01: I go, it's the seventh grade volleyball game.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: Let's break it down just a little bit, okay?
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_01: 18 people in a junior high gym, okay?
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like my daughter's never watched NFL football in her life, never watched a game.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: All of a sudden, all the Kaepernick stuff's been going on.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: Here comes my daughter.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, dad, are you watching NFL football?
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_01: I go, f yeah, I'm watching it.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: She goes, Oh, I can't believe you.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not watching another game with Colin Kaepernick's back in the league.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: I can't believe he's gonna stick with me.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, oh.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_01: Alright, I won't watch it on Tuesdays and Wednesdays.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_01: She even knows.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_01: She ain't.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: I appreciate that, Dan.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, we just we in this family together, buddy.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's crazy too, cause like like both my boys, both my boys like white girls.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: Both of them.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: They both like white girls.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: But my daughter likes black guys.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, she gonna make me work.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_01: I wish she'd bring a little white kid home.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: I could punk a white kid.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: What the f sorry sir.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna punk black kid, what the f what the f sir?
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: I see what you did there, young man.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_01: Like my daughter went to my daughter went to her her first homecoming dance last year, right?
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: You know?
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: Big brother asked her out too.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: Big brother.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, this kid was 6'7, 270, 15 years old.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_01: That ain't normal, right?
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_01: But I will say this the young man that took my daughter to homecoming, his parents are raising him right because his mom and dad made him call me to ask permission to take my daughter homecoming.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_01: So I wasn't mad about that.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_01: It still was a weird phone conversation, you know, because a kid's 15, his voice is deeper than mine, you know.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_01: Answer the phone, like, hello?
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, Miss Owen?
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah?
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: Uh yeah, this PJ?
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I really really won't take your daughter to homecoming.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_01: I was looking at my daughter, like, who's this green mom on the phone?
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_01: Who the f taking to homecoming?
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_01: John Coffee?
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_01: And then and then my daughter, my daughter don't tell me he's 6'7.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_01: I think I got a little 15-year-old come to my house.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_01: I got my game face on.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna puncture to the right.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: And as soon as he opened the door, I was like, what the you ain't tell me he was this top.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: Then he walked in the house and tried to build some kind of rapport with me, you know?
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_01: Uh Mr.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: Owen, um, I I just want you to know, sir, I think it's really funny.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_01: I said, ain't no funny around here.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: He he he my.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_01: I know what the f you want, young man.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_01: I don't pop balls in real life.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: I don't, I don't.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_01: But on Instagram, I do.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I be lying my ass off on Instagram.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_01: I'm live, I'm living a life that ain't mine half the time, you know.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_01: Shoot, I'll I'll do some little Bow Wow shit.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: I'll just lie on Instagram.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yo, like that's it, that shit was funny last year, though.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: If you know what I'm talking about, like a little over a year ago, like guys, I think it's a year and a half ago, like Bow Wow went on Instagram, right?
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_01: And he posted a picture of a private jet.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: And he said, I'm flying from LA to New York to start working on this new TV show.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_01: So Bow Wow gave the impression that he was flying across the country on a private jet.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_01: Well, Bow Wow makes the post, then this guy is on a United Airlines flight, looks in the back of the plane, Bow Wow's sitting there, you know, regular ass 32B middle seat.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: So this dude gets on his Instagram, was like, this guy lion.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: He on my floor right now.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_01: He takes a picture of Bow Wow, you know?
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_01: So they had this thing for like three weeks on Instagram called the Bow Wow Challenge.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: It was hashtag Bow Wow Challenge.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: And all it was was people posting shit that they wasn't doing, but they said they was doing it, but they weren't doing it, but they act like they was doing it, right?
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I never did the Bow Wow challenge, I never did, because I didn't want people going to my Instagram page looking all the lies I be posting, you know.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: Because like I said, I don't pop bottles in real life.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, but I'll be at a nightclub.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_01: I'll grab two big ass Ace Spades bottles.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_01: Tell my homeboy, take a picture of me real quick.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: I'll be on Instagram.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm double fisting tonight because I'm going in.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_01: Hashtag doing what I do post.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: Appreciate that.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks a lot.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: Um just gonna get a butt light.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_01: See, I remember one time I was at a marina, I was walking by all these boats, and right in the middle of the marina was a big ass yacht.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_01: I got on front of the yacht, I was like, yep, about to take my new boat out for the day.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: See what the ocean's talking about.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_01: Hashtag doing what I do, lies.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_01: I was never on that yacht.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: I was at five guys in the cheeseburger when made that bullshit.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: Let me tell you something.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_01: If you ever on my Instagram page and you see hashtag doing what I do, I'm lying.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_01: I'm lying.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_01: That is COVID Brian, I'm lying.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a lie about these shows.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_01: Watch.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_01: Watch when this shit airs.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, damn, San Antonio showed out.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_01: We sold the ATT Center four days straight.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: Damn it in four shows.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: Hashtag doing what I do.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_01: And don't be f in my line.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, damn, fuck you, man.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: You was on the riverwalk by the empire candle.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: Just go with it.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_01: Be like, Gary, I was there that night.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: I was in a suite, hashtag sweet live.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_01: Just go with the live.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: Ain't nobody gonna know.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_01: See the stage.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: They don't know where to f yet.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_01: It's funny too, looking back, looking back at my life, I was thinking like, like, I I joined the Navy like right after high school.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I was I was thinking, why did I join the Navy?
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I I remember I remember all the reasons because you know, I was a listen, I was a I was a broke kid living in a trailer park in southern Ohio.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: The military's looking at me like, we can get that motherfucker right there, you know?
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_01: Because it was like my senior high school, there was about a week run wherever that came from school, there's a different recruiter at my trailer trying to get me to sign up, you know?
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: And they just kept showing up, you know, because I remember the Marine guy showed up first, the Marine recruiter, and I remember he got out of his car in front of my trailer, and I thought Marines had the best uniforms.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: When I saw him in that uniform, I said, damn, that's a f sweet.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_01: I told my mom, I'ma join the Marines.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_01: Then he walked in my trailer, he was like, Gary, we are the few, the proud.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_01: I go, what's that mean?
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_01: He goes, when shit pops off, we the first ones in, we the few.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, ooh, I ready part of the minute.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: I'm good on that shit.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_01: The hell you trying to be first for?
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: Shit, pace yourself, slow down.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not trying to be first in the fight.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_01: You don't know what's popping off.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: You the first one in the fight.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_01: Shit.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_01: Who's second to third?
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_01: I'll join the third.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: I ain't trying to join the first.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_01: Who's third?
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_01: I'll join third.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: I ain't trying to join first, I'll join third.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: I will listen, I'll give it to Marines.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_01: They are better Americans than me.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_01: Because you be in stories about the Marines, you know, they'd be in Iraq, being a desert.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_01: You be in a story like you'd be like, 33 Marines will be in Iraq, being a desert stand around, and then a grenade will drop in the middle of them, and one Marine will jump on a grenade, take the blow to save the other 32 Marines' lives.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, man, if we in a desert, and it's 33 of us, and a grenade drops in the middle, and I see it first, either 33 people die, or 32 people die.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: But if one's gonna make it, it's gonna be me, motherfuckers! Oh shit, grenade! God damn it!
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: Prince.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_01: Army, Army recruiter walked in my trailer with a straight face and was like, Gary, I heard you wrestle.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_01: I heard you're in your high school wrestling team.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_01: I said, Yeah, I wrestle.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_01: He said, you know, if you join the army, you could try out for the army wrestling team, and if you make it, you just wrestle the whole time you're in the army.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_01: I said, sir, I am 3 and 30 right now.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_01: I've won three times and lost 30.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_01: I am literally the worst wrestler in the state of Ohio as we speak.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't wrestle to wrestle, either come to the trailer park after school or get hang out of wrestlers and wrestle every now and then.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_01: I just wrestle.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_01: I ain't give a f if I won a loss.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_01: I used to pin myself half the time, you know?
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_01: Because every time I get ready to wrestle somebody, I run on on the mat, I look across, they be resetting the time clock.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: I go, you ain't gonna need that.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: It's gonna take that long, you don't need that clock.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_01: I've been looking at God, this over here sweating, warming up, smacking his leg, got his headphones on.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_01: I go, you're doing too much, man.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_01: This ain't that kind of match.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_01: This dude listening to MWA getting all fired up.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_01: This is more of a Kenny G type wrestling match.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_01: This is smooth jazz.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna get to this shit together.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_01: Because I think nine times out of ten, guys go to nightclubs.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: This is to meet girls, I get it, you know.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_01: But if you ain't got thousands of dollars of pop-on bottles, you ain't gotta do it, man.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_01: I be telling you, man, if you want to meet girls, ain't got the money like that, just listen.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_01: Just wait outside, wait for the club to close.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_01: Everybody gotta leave, you know?
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_01: You know, hopefully a food truck pulls up.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_01: It's so easy to meet girls at the food truck when the club closes.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_01: Because usually the girls leave in a nightclub when they wait to close, those girls are a little tipsy, discombobulated, got their shoes in their right hand, you know.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_01: They in the parking lot looking for the girls they came with, just walking around.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_01: Karen?
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_01: Karen! Who the fuck is Karen?
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, telling you, man, just wait for the food truck to pull up.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_01: Hopefully it's a taco truck.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_01: Everybody likes tacos late at night, you know?
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_01: So when it's your turn, just wait in line.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_01: When it's your turn to order some tacos, look behind you, find a nice looking lady, offer some food.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_01: Just sit there.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_01: What's up?
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_01: He wants to tell you.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_01: He wants to tell you.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_01: I'll take a taco.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: Two tacos.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: Amen.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: Let me get two tacos.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: Two dollars.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: Here you go.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: Have a couple tacos.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_01: That dude right there, he nice.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_01: You know what's guacamole on it?
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_01: Let me get a side of guacamole.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_01: 50 cents.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_01: Here you go, put suacamole on tacos.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_01: You spent$2.50.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_01: You got the same phone number David got.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_01: David spent$6,000 popping bottles in a nightclub.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_01: You know?
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_01: And trust me, she's gonna remember you over David, you know?
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_01: You know, the next day, because you know, you gotta really you put food in her body, you nourished her, you know?
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_01: The next day, think about it, David ain't gonna wake up till one, two o'clock, all the Hennessy run through his system.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_01: All you gotta do is get up 9 30, 10 in the morning, shoot a little good morning text.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_01: Good morning, beautiful.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_01: Good meeting you last night.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_01: Taco, taco, taco, emoji.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_01: Shit, that's a taco do.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I like David's cool.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_01: That's a taco do.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_01: Then you got a cheap ass anniversary date.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_01: Most people on anniversaries gotta go to nice steakhouses, nice restaurants.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_01: Nah, you and her right back at a taco truck.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_01: She on Instagram, back where we mad.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_01: He got me extra cilantra, doing it big this year.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_01: Now, I don't, I don't, now listen, I don't want people to call me a liar or anything.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't pop balls in real life.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: I don't, I don't, but on Instagram I do.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'd be lying my ass off on Instagram.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_01: I'm live I'm living a life that ain't mine half the time, you know.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_01: Should I I'll do some little bow wow shit.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_01: I'll just lie on Instagram.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yo, like that's it, that shit was funny.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_01: Let me ask you this.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_01: Why is it every day I get on my phone or my iPad, and it seems like at some point during the day, I'm gonna see somebody getting their ass kicked.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_01: Every day.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'll be wondering how do people got their phones out at the exact time people be getting knocked out?
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_01: You know, because I honestly I never see people get knocked out in real life, and I'm happy about that.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_01: I must be hanging out in the right areas.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_01: I'm good with that, you know?
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_01: Because you know, every time I see somebody get knocked out on the internet, the first thing that goes to my brain is uh, I hope that dude ain't got no kids, especially when it's a dude like, I hope that dude ain't got no kids, man.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, honestly, can you imagine being a dad and you get knocked out and somebody films it and that shit goes viral?
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_01: Your kids ain't listening to you no more.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_01: What the hell are you gonna tell your son?
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, be home at nine o'clock.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, you awake now, Dan?
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_01: But I tell you, watching all these people get knocked out on the internet, it opened my eyes to shit.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_01: It opened my eyes to how easy it is to get knocked out.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_01: And it's helped me, man.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_01: Like I don't get I don't get in fights at all.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_01: I don't get in arguments.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_01: I will walk, run, skip, hide, duck.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_01: There's nothing you can say to me, mate, you want to fight you.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_01: Nothing, you know?
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_01: Even when I go with my guys, man, I got you know, I got my guys that open up for me and then my role manager, Brad.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_01: Every time we go out, you know, before we hit a club or something, they be asking me, hey Gary, man, shit pops off now.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_01: You got our back?
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, I don't.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, I don't.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_01: Better find the exit and run, I'm out, man.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_01: Shit, walk away, walk away.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: It's and every time I like go to the city, man, I always be getting messages with people like, hey man, you need a bodyguard when you in town, need security.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_01: And every time I go to these people's pages, always big swole, muscle bound motherfuckers trying to be my bodyguards, you know?
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_01: Let me tell you something.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_01: If I ever get to the point where I feel like I need a bodyguard, just go out and hang out.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_01: I ain't hiring some big swole motherfucker.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_01: You wanna be my bodyguard?
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna ask you one question.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_01: How fast are you?
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_01: You gotta be faster than me, because if shit pops off, you gotta be at the car before I am, you know?
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_01: I can't be over here waiting on your swole ass.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_01: Come on, man and shoot him.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_01: Come on, many shooting.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_01: All right, dear, here, come.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_01: Honestly, all the years I've been doing a stand-up, over 20 years, right?
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_01: There's only been one time in my entire comedy career where I felt like I was gonna get mascated after a show.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_01: I almost did.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_01: I'll never forget it.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_01: It was just a couple years ago.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_01: I was in Detroit, Michigan.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_01: It was after my show, we had a little after party.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't know what this dude thought I said to him, and I didn't say nothing to him, but he had me hand up against the wall, and I had nowhere to go.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, I'm gonna get out of this shit, right?
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_01: This is how I got out of the fight.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_01: All I did was I put my hands up, I started making eye contact with a dude, and I just started gringing with him.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_01: Whatever he said, I just went with it, you know?
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_01: He's like, hey man, I'm about to beat your ass.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, yeah, you probably will.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_01: Hey man, you acting like you're scared right now.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_01: Ain't nobody acting.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: Man, what the f you looking at?
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_01: Not you, bro.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_01: But I gotta get out of it, right?
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: So the fight didn't happen, but I backed down.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_01: I did.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_01: I be the first man I backed down.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_01: So the next morning, I'm in my hotel room, right?
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_01: It's about 9 a.m.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_01: My road manager Brad comes in my room.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_01: He's like, Gary, what happened last night?
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, no man, that dude tried to start a fight me.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_01: I told you I ain't fighting nobody.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_01: He goes, um Gary, can I be honest with you right now?
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_01: I said, Yo, what's up?
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_01: He goes, You uh you kind of look like a pussy last night.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_01: I said, What do you mean I look like a pussy?
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_01: He goes, I'm just saying, man, you back down in front of everybody.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_01: You kinda look like a pussy.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_01: I said, Well, who exactly did I look like a pussy to?
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_01: He goes, Everybody was in that club.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_01: I go, well, who's in the club?
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_01: He goes, I don't know.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_01: I go, exactly.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_01: I don't give a strange mother f I'm leaving in three hours.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_01: Shit.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_01: Now, now my flight left Detroit at noon.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_01: At 4 p.m., I was safe and sound back at my own house.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_01: I was no longer state of Michigan, I was no longer city of Detroit.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_01: That's when I got on my Instagram page.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, oh shit.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_01: Somebody almost got these hands last night.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_01: They're lucky I was feeling generous and shit.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_01: Hashtag doing what I do.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_01: You know?
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_01: I have motherfuckers on my page making comments.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_01: Mother, I was dead, you back down.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_01: Delete, not on my page, you wasn't shit.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_01: Better take that shit to your page.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_01: On my page, some of us got these hands.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_01: Shit.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_01: It was jazz hands, but still, fucking.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_01: Fuck that.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_01: If you don't know what black Twitter is, if you say anything on social media that black Twitter deems disrespectful to black people or a black person, they come after you.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't know how many people are on Black Twitter.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if they have an office building with cubicles or Instagram texticals out.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_01: All I know is I do this video towards Monique, and for the next three days, every time I got on Twitter, it was over a hundred mentions of my name, and it was just black Twitter down the line coming after me.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_01: And everybody was kind of saying the same thing, just in their own way.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_01: You know, stay in your lane.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_01: This don't concern you.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_01: Leave black shit to black people.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_01: Somebody went news flash, dot dot dot.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_01: You ain't black.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, damn.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_01: Woo! Drop in knowledge today.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_01: Shit, the dot dot me up a little bit.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_01: I go, Dan, did I just get a dramatic pause?
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_01: But listen, listen, I I give I give respect to respect is due, man.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_01: Some of some people on Black Twitter hit me with some good ass put downs.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, there were some good ones.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_01: I was looking at my phone, like, ooh, that motherfucker got me on that one.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_01: There's a good one right there.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_01: Let's show my friends.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_01: Look at that motherfucker, call me.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_01: I think, I think my favorite put down from Black Twitter was somebody said, Stay in your lane, white cracker breed.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, God damn! That is the whitest shit I've ever been caught in my life.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_01: White cracker bread?
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_01: Holy f that's white! How do you combine two separate white put downs and make it one white cracker breed?
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_01: It's so white.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't even get mad when I saw it, I just got thirsty.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_01: Holy shit, that's a dry ass put down.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_01: At least put some milk on that shit.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_01: White cracker breed.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_01: It's so white.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_01: Shit, every time I get a Starbucks, they make them write that shit on my cup.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_01: How you doing?
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_01: Can I get a latte?
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_01: What's the name?
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_01: White cracker breed.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I make them say like they mean it.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_01: I got a latte for white cracker bed?
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_01: Say it like I said it.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_01: White cracker breed.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_01: Appreciate it, thank you.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_01: Have a good day.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_01: Shit, I didn't know what to stay in your lane, man.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't know what that meant.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_01: I had to call one of our friends.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_01: I said, hey man, somebody on black Twitter told me stay in my lane.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_01: What exactly does that mean?
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: I guess there's a white lane and a black lane on Twitter.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_01: And you're not supposed to cross the lanes.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_01: That's stupid.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_01: Like, if somebody's gonna tell me stay in my lane, I'd be thinking, have you been to my house?
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like the only white person in my house, by the way.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_01: Like, like my wife's there, she's black.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_01: Her mom lives with us, she's black.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_01: We got our kids, they're mixed.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_01: Then my oldest son, and he's mine.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_01: It's my stepson.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_01: He's full black.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I sent him to college all four years.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_01: I pay for everything room, tuition, board, all that shit.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_01: So basically, I sent a black kid to college that wasn't mine, and you gonna tell me stay in my lane.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like in my lane, shit.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_01: How many black kids you send to college, black Twitter?
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_01: You can suck my white cracker bread, dick.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_01: Some full love, Po.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_01: Call it wonder.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_01: White cracker bread.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_01: I was thinking other comedians messing up, uh Roseanne.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_01: Roseanne's messing up, man.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_01: Hell Roseanne got fired from Roseanne.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_01: I go, hell the hell.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_01: When Roseanne got fired from Roseanne, that's the only headline I saw.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't know why she got fired.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_01: So then I went back and talked about Twitter getting people in trouble.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_01: I looked at her tweets and she sent some racy insensitive tweets about the head of her network.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm reading it, and then I went, I guess I'm always just a little taken back, but not a lot, not a lot.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_01: Just how, just how some white people just don't realize what you can and cannot say about black people.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like, like I'm around black people a lot, like a lot, you know?
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_01: Like honestly, it's pretty easy what you can and cannot say, you know?
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_01: Like you can't say what Roseanne said on Twitter.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna repeat it, you can't say that, you know?
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_01: You can't say the M-word, that's obvious, you know.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_01: Just some white people won't let that word go.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_01: They just won't let it go.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_01: You know?
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_01: Why can't we say it?
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_01: It's just a word.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_01: Why can't we say it?
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_01: They be looking at me like I know the answer and shit.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_01: Gary, why can't we say it?
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know, that's the rules.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_01: I got bigger shit to worry about than that one goddamn word.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_01: Hell, I watch that spelling be on ESPN every year.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_01: There's a lot of goddamn words out there we ain't using.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_01: Use one of them once in a while.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_01: There's so many words just sitting dictionary right now, unused.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_01: Because I'm a white person in my house.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_01: I hear the M-word every day, room to room.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_01: Just bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, ming, bing, ming, ming, ming, bing, ming.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_01: I still can't say it.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm paying a goddamn mortgage.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_01: That's just the rule.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yo, that'd be crazy if black people change the rules one day.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_01: Just black people come out.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_01: Alright.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_01: We don't give a shit.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_01: You can say it now.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_01: You'd have white guys walking around.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_01: Hear the news.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_01: Black people said we're allowed to say the N-word.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_01: We're clear.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_01: We're good.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_01: We're allowed to say it.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_01: Are you f shitting me right now?
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_01: Nah, we're approved.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_01: We're allowed.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_01: We can say it.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_01: Well say it.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_01: Mark that.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_01: You say it first.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_01: I ain't gonna lie though, sometimes when me and my wife are having sex, she calls me the N-word.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_01: It makes me feel good.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_01: It does, man.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just sitting there like, what the f I'm in the bathroom at the words flexing up.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_01: What the falling on my friends up?
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_01: You ain't gonna leave what the f my wife called me.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_01: What's she calling you?
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_01: Can't tell you.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_01: She said it was a big uh big military bases on here too, man.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_01: I was I was there yeah.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_01: I was stationed here a long time ago.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I was stationed at Lackland a long time ago, right?
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_01: It's funny too looking back, looking back on my life, I was thinking like like I joined the Navy like right after high school.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I was I was thinking, why did I join the Navy?
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I I remember I remember all the reasons because you know, I was a listen, I was I was a broke kid living in a trailer park in southern Ohio.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_01: The military's looking at me like, we can get that motherfucker right there, you know?
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_01: Because it was like my senior high school, there was about a week run wherever that came from school, there's a different recruiter at my trailer trying to get me to sign up, you know?
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_01: And they just kept showing up, you know, because I remember the Marine guy showed up first, the Marine recruiter, and I remember he got out of his car in front of my trailer, and I thought Marines had the best uniforms.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_01: When I saw him in that uniform, I said, damn, that's a f sweet.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_01: I told my mom, I'ma join the Marines.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_01: Then he walked in my trailer.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_01: He was like, Gary, we are the few crowd.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_01: I go, what's that mean?
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_01: Because when shit pops off, we the first ones in, we the few.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, ooh, I'd rather be part of the minute.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_01: I'm good on that shit.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm glad Kevin and his wife are still together.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_01: I like Yaniko, I like Kevin, they're nice people.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_01: I don't see him break up over that.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_01: Just a little speeble in the relationship, you know.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_01: But now that it's the time has passed and it's been over a year and stuff, now, now the timeline all makes sense because Kev went to Vegas, his homeboy tried to extort him for money, set him up in the hotel room, and the week before Kev went to Vegas, and it got published, he's the highest grossing comic in the country.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_01: He's worth like 200 million dollars.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_01: So I remember, I remember when the shit first happened and I found out Kev's worth 200 million dollars, I was telling everybody.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_01: I go, I got a feeling his wife's gonna forgive him.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_01: I do.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_01: I think she's gonna find it in her heart to give him a second chance, man.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_01: Shit, I wish my wife was worth 200 million dollars, man.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_01: If my wife's worth 200 million dollars, there is nothing.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_01: Nothing she can do to make me leave her, man.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like herpes.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_01: I might lay low, I'm gonna pop up on your ass shit.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_01: Ain't no cure for this shit, it's for life, man.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_01: Let me tell you something.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_01: If my wife's were two or million dollars, I would love to see TMZ try to hem me up at the airport on some bullshit with their cameras out trying to f my relationship.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_01: I'd have an answer for everything.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_01: There is nothing they can say to me or show me to shake my foundation, you know?
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_01: I'd be sitting in LAX waiting on my bags to come out.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_01: TMZ comes around the corners with her cameras.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_01: Shh, Gary Owen, Gary Owen! Did you see what happened?
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_01: Your wife has a sex tape, but it just got released.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_01: Have you seen it?
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_01: I'd be like, who don't f the dictate?
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_01: All my boys be calling me up.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_01: You just gonna let your wife some other dude?
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_01: She ain't gonna him.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_01: He f her.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_01: She ain't get on top, man.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_01: She f me.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_01: Shit.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_01: Shit, let me tell you something.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_01: If my wife's worth$200 million, she can tell me she's gonna see another dude.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_01: I wouldn't give a shit.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_01: She can tell me, Gary, I'm going to see my friend this weekend.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_01: You tell him I said hello.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_01: If you're happy, we happy.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_01: Shit.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_01: Shit, my wife could be gone for the weekend with some other dude.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_01: I'd be at the house making Instagram posts.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_01: I just wanna take a second and thank my lovely wife for all she does for this family.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_01: You are the best wife, mother, friend a man could have.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_01: You have provided us with this beautiful home.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_01: You enjoy your weekend away.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_01: We will be here when you get back.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_01: The new year was crazy.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_01: It started off with uh Lifetime Television, Aaron's Surviving R.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_01: Kelly right off the bat.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_01: Really appreciate that.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_01: Could have waited another couple months so I could enjoy his music for a little while longer.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_01: You gotta let somebody know when you're airing all the dirty laundry out.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_01: What's crazy about R.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_01: Kelly is I watched that, I watched that documentary, Surviving R.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_01: Kelly.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_01: It was six episodes, and uh, it's crazy how his whole career is like before the piss and after the piss.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_01: That was like the whole timeline.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_01: You know?
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_01: Like I and I didn't tape Surviving R.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_01: Kelly, I watched all six episodes live.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_01: Like, like by episode four, I was the guy on Twitter.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_01: Fuck R.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_01: Kelly.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_01: I ain't listened to his shit no more.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_01: He's deleted forever.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_01: Three days later, I'm at a party.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_01: Step, step, side to side, to look back.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_01: I went, oh shit.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_01: I ain't supposed to be dancing this no more.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_01: But I couldn't stop dancing.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_01: I go, oh my god, he is the Pied Piper.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_01: His music has taken over my legs.
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_01: I swear, after uh after watching Surviving R.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_01: Kelly and all these other scandals that happen every week, I'm to the point in my career where I'm just happy to be an entertainer without a scandal right now, you know?
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's I mean, it's gotten to the point where I'm scared to open up my laptop in the morning.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_01: Because I just be looking at it like, oh shit.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's today today.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_01: Because I've never done anything to anybody, I'm not worried about that.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_01: Still don't mean somebody can't accuse me of shit, you know?
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like it'd be nothing for a woman to come out of left field and be like, Gary Owens smacked my ass in 1992.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_01: He's at a crisscross concert.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_01: Your clothes were on backwards.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_01: So crap.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_01: I keep waiting for a white lady to come after me, and I keep waiting for a white lady to be like, Gary, you would sexually harass me! Now you know you lying.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_01: Even my wife would be like, she bullshit.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_01: We ain't knew that.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_01: I guess what's messed me up lately is like like comedians are getting a lot of scandals now.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_01: It used to be like athletes and rappers had all the scandals.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_01: Now it's like comedians, we lead the charge.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you got you got Bill Cosby, he's in jail, you know.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_01: It seems like every year Kevin Hart's gotta go through something.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like, like, like this last year was the Oscars.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I didn't like how the Oscars did Kevin.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_01: Like, how you gonna ask that man to host the Oscars, and then the very next day asked to apologize for some tweets he sent out over 10 years ago that you should have known about before you asked him to host the show, anyways.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_01: And plus, he would just bullshit with his boys.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_01: There was nothing malicious behind his tweets, but all of a sudden he did some gay tweets, and now these people were like, Kevin Hart's a homophobe.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_01: He's a homophobe.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_01: Let me tell you something, that dude is definitely not a homophobe.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_01: I know the guy 20 years, done three movies with him.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_01: One movie was called Ride Along, and that movie I had nothing but underwear and honey on my chest.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_01: That was my whole wardrobe, you know.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_01: And Kevin, you know, Kevin had to lay on my chest, you know?
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_01: So when you see that movie, that scene's only like two, three minutes long, but when we shot it, it took like 30, 35 minutes to get that scene right.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_01: And to Kevin's credit, he never left my chest.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_01: He stayed there all 35 minutes.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_01: You know?
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_01: What kind of homophobe is gonna lay in a man's chest for 35 minutes straight?
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_01: Get the f out of here.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_01: True professional, committed to the craft, you know?