Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #179 Daddy did a big poo!

Transcript

#179 Daddy did a big poo! · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: You stink of garlic.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: The parasites back.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Ah, how do you know it's back?
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: It is back. It is all the same symptoms. It's everything.
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: And I had to.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: You just had a big weekend, you idiot.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: No, I had to have the garlic. You went to
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: a Bucks. Yeah, but I was a parasite.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: Fifty beers, Welcome back to two doting dads. I'm Maddie
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: J And I'm Ash And this is a podcast all
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: about parenting. It is the good, it.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: Is the bad and the relatable, and.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: We don't give advice. Tell me about this parasite.
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: Just like yesterday afternoon, I was like, oh, starting to
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: feel a bit bit like oh okay, okay, I'll.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: See what this.
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: But that's why it's like garlic. I had to eat
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: garlic this morning to try and kill this.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: How much did you have? How many clothes?
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: Just the one?
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: Just one that's it on its own?
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: I think it's my hands, it's breath.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: Is that I'm really coming out your paws?
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: Nothing's coming out of me anyway. I'm gonna be okay.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: Can you do me a favor? Yeah, Just I don't
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: know if this is gonna work. Just can you call
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: Laura because she's stolen my water bottle.
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: You got meat. Just call Laura. Yeah, just if she
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: picks up as if you fucking answer.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: It's cool Laura, because I found my water bottle and
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: it was upstairs in the bathroom this morning. She's gone
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: into work with Poppy to Tony May and the water
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: bottle all of a sudden gone and it'd been in
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: her car for three weeks. And I'm like, my water bottle.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: She's like, I don't know where it is.
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: Which one the one? That the good one?
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: That you're one?
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: Ah, they are good ones. Yeah, this Laura Burn, You
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: do the talking.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: She's not picking up.
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: Person you are calling is not available.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: Message, leave a message. Sorry, Chloro again, Oh my god,
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: Clor again.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: It's gonna think there's a emergency.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah good, this is an emergency.
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: Thank good. She's like breast finishing. I'm gonna get in
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: trouble here. I can feel it.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: Do you steal water bottles? There's repercussions for who for her?
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: Oh, I am I being dragged into this.
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: Being forwarded to voicemails that's a reject which is not
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: available at the time.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: Please record your message. When you have finished recording, you
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: may hanger.
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: Laura, I have been Matt demanded that I call you.
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: Don't make I'm being dragged into this water bottle fiasco.
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: You've stolen a water bottle that does not belong to you.
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: There are repercussions, there's consequences, and one of them is
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: that you have to listen to this voicemail obviously, because
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: I know you don't want to.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: Talk to me. Sorry, can you RelA? Sorry, I'm trying.
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: To I'm trying to mediate the situation. Okay, Laura, there
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: is a drink bottle in your possession.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: Now.
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: I don't know if from where you came from, if
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: it's different, but there's a name on it.
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: It says Maddie Jay, not Laura.
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: Thank you, So please return that promptly so I don't
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: have to listen to him demand things of me and
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: drag me in to situations.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: I don't feel like being in. I've got my own problems. Okay,
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: carry on, have a good day. I love you. Buy Okay,
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: now that that's done. Sorry, was that part of housekeeping?
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: In housekeeping?
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: That's housekeeping?
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: Is that all the housekeeping? Yeah?
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: There was a message ash for you from Sarah Sarah Jane.
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, do you want us to know what TV show
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: I'm on Healthy Wealthy of my Saturday seven pm.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: I missed last time?
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, how did you see? Actually go on? This reminds me.
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: There's a comment on Spotify.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: I read this comment. I think it's the one that
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: we're talking about.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: Just do you recall?
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: Well someone was like that's really good and jealous.
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: It was like you you sound upset about it, and
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: it shows.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: Because Matt keeps talking about it. And actually when I
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: read that, I was like, oh have I am I
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: coming across like a bit of a d A am I? Well?
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: What about an apology? Maybe?
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah? I am sorry? I am sorry. I have some
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: news though you mentioned my mustache?
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: Oh what do you got for me?
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: I've got a roll? Do you in a movie?
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: What movie is it? Is it porn?
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: It's it's not like a cinema movie. It's going to
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: be on stand.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: You've been doing some work for standing?
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And I was like, Hey, if you can just
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: get me on any.
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: Show like what do you we take pants on? I'll
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: do it.
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: And I think podcasting. I literally have Yes, you're better
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: than that. I literally have two lines like I'm like,
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: oh what but I play a cop I'm going a
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: cop like office. I'm an offer you no, I'm a
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: cop shop. Please please. We circled, we got there, we
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: got that, and they requested that my mustache is thick
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: and lush.
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: You've got good shape. I said that, thank you, Yeah, congratulations.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: What's your name?
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: You know I remember because they sent me the script
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: and I was like, I don't need the script. The
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: I've got two fucking words. So I don't know the
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: name of my character, which is not important. A movie
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: called I don't even know. I don't even know.
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: Someone's just like you, like just rang, just chutting up
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: in the movie. But this is not your first movie
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: experience Christmas? And how what the film? What's the run?
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: Tomato on that.
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: Let's let's move on. That's it wasn't good.
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: Anyway on my shelf just increased. I just say, you know,
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: I will watch next week. It did increase without you
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: watching it.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: I will watch next week. Good news, Hey, breaking news. Okay,
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: I don't often break news here on the podcast.
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: You know this is going to come out next week.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: This is exciting. Go on, Okay, this is potentially Australia's
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: oldest dad.
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: Guess how old he is ninety four?
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: Close? Fuck ninety three? Wow?
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: Ninety four this year though, surely Yeah.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: It's a doctor and he's welcomed a baby boy with
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: his younger wife. She's thirty seven. What's the math on that?
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: What's the age difference?
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: Fifty seven? Sixty six? That was pretty good? That was
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: very good, Thank you.
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: I am going off ninety four because he's going to
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: turn ninety four this year, which I would be correct.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: Guess he's a healthy aging expert.
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: So what does he think is then? You know he's
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: going to be dead by the time this see kids five?
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: Well, he says he wants to be there till the
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: twenty first birthday.
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: Ah, I know, but hey, who are we to judge? No,
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: this is judge worthy.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: Are we to judge?
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: Ash?
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: Age is just a letter number?
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: Fuck Jesus Sorry, I'm from this movie Gig. You haven't
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: slept a night you're so excited? Wow, ninety four? Why
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: do you think you could still get it up?
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: He's married, He was married for fifty seven years, but
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: she passed away in twenty thirteen. And that's why when
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: people ask me to get a sec to me, I'm like, well,
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: what's his name? You never know what the future holds.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: Shout out to John doctor. Sorry, I apologize, doctor John Levin.
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: Eleven you are, that's eleven you are.
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a great effort. That's a great joke on
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: both just a combination of the two.
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: I don't want a seventy I'm out.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: That's that's child abuse.
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: It is it's borderline.
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: Is kid's gonna have to mourn his father's dead immediately totally.
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: He can barely wipe his own eyes. What chances that
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: child had.
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: When he's like a teenager, he's like, well, my dad
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: died and almost like yeah, five minutes after I was born?
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: Do you want to hold the child?
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: Do you want to hold my husband? Who's holding the child?
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: In deliver Like someone's chat themselves and we're not sure
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: who you know.
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: They're like when someone dies, someone is born.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: It's like it's shout out to doctor John Levin. Wow, Jesus,
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: I know, okay?
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: Is he Jesus?
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: Mate? Wow? So that's housekeeping and shout out to We
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: had a listener rock up this morning. Ash Oh yeah,
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: and Emily. Her name was you.
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: Nearly forgot what you admitted Emily.
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: If you're listening right now, that's not true that all life.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: That's just because you're a movie star.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: Now, I gave away a bugaboo and it's on the
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: Facebook group.
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: It must have been nice to be able to give
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: away buggaboos and stuff like that.
• 9:10
  Speaker 4: I did see it on the Facebook group and I
• 9:17
  Speaker 4: was like, how much you're right something stupid because I'm stupid.
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: I'm a stupid, silly boy.
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: But it was lovely to meet Emily. She's having birth.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: It's lovely to meet Emily. She's giving birth on the
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: sixth of January, very very soon.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: I was like, she looked great.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: Jess was down with me, and I was like, let
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: me just show you how it works. And I was like,
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: fucking bugbo. The clips haven't been touched in years. And
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: I was like, there's like a there was a bottle
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: of valveal and coolant in the bugger, so do you
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: want this as well?
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: Is that the one with a little sign thing?
• 9:54
  Speaker 5: Yeah?
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: Dunk?
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: I mean the bugaboo?
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: Whould you go?
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: I can't remember what it's called.
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: But like, of course, all we use was the travel
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: pram because it was lighter and less complex.
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: That's what people are doing these days, dude. People have
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: they've they've steered away from the big prams. The little
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: prams are what they're after because they're thousands of dollars.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: It's a lot of money. I like it.
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: Is that that much safer?
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: Probably know no, but dude, just the you know the
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: is you want a pram that you can push with
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: your finger?
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that ninety four year old is going to need that.
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: I'll take one.
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: I'll take one with a walker attached to it. Please
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: somewhere I can sit down every three steps.
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: I'm just a bit tired today though, a delirious.
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: Is that what's happening?
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah? I don't know what. Well, it's just I was
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: up all last night with the baby playing fucking video games.
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: What do you think I was going to say with
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: Lola or what? You know? We play video what we're playing?
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: You of those you probably you ash. You probably don't
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: remember what this was like. But it would have been
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: about three in the morning, and I was just pacing
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: up and down the room, tapping the bar and just
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: trying to stay and then trying to like and then
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: coming up on the shoulder maybe a burn back down
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: and the squatt and then a couple of little I
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: know it's good my step counts amazing pistons, and I
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: remember thinking, God, that's right, this is what you have
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: to do with a newborn.
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: I like, just like the continual rock. And then you
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: find yourself just in public going the two steps, and
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: you got that you're just doing this shopping alone. And God,
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: I don't envy you, but I warned you.
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: I could not get out of bed this morning. I
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: ended up in Lolla's bed and she woke up at
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: six in the morning. And you could have offered me
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: a million dollars and I wouldn't been able to get
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: out of bed. I was so tired, and Lola was like,
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: fucking get up, and I was just like, yeah, I
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: get my phone and watch something.
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: So how's this ninety three year old going to do that?
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: He's having dinner at four pm and in bed by
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: four thirty, Like.
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: Let's get him on the podcast. And it's not he
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: won't be able to talk.
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: You want to die in the second?
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: Ah, you four thing? Well, at least don't have a
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: parasite yet. Let's be kissed. You want to kiss his
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: galic bread. Speaking of parasites. I'm sorry that you're tired,
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: but this will pass. And then regression will come that
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: word disgusting. I forgot to mention last time I had
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: a parasite because I was moving. I don't know if
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: you recall I moved again. Yeah, for the final time
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: in a long time. I'm like, I'm never moving ever again.
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: Like I will drive the people downstairs out. I will
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: drive them out with noise or whatever. Buy that place
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: just so that we can expand when the kids get bigger,
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: because I don't want to move ever again.
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: It's not that bad.
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: Well, also, you can move into the garage or something.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I haven't seen the garage yet.
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: I lived in the garage when I was a kid.
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: That sounded horrible.
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: That sounded really bad. Mum, I'm sorry, but I did. Anyway,
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: that's that's a story for another time. I'm telling you
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: this story because I had the parasite, and I forgot
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: to tell you that. After two or three days of moving,
• 13:28
  Speaker 3: and I started to feel a little bit better, which
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: you do, because I was self managing it with advice
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: I got from TikTok Standard Classic, my age.
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: Group, and I took a little trip to min to ten.
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: I do love my ten to get a few things
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: for what's your preference my eternal Bunnings.
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: I feel like mina ten is better because it's just
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: a bit smaller. You can kind of nip in and out.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: The Bunnings down the road for me is like fucking
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: three stories.
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: I think that Bunnings have taken the whole warehouse thing
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: too far, too far.
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: The floors concrete. You go to a minor ten, it's
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: a vinyl tile.
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's spoken like a true true cannot talk not.
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: True, weekend worry true trading?
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: Was it worth it?
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: Not?
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: Really?
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: No trader, don't go to Bunnings anyway.
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: They do.
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: They go to the trade section. It's different. They got
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: something over there we don't know about. Let us we
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: want to free jump with this is Bunnings trade on it?
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: That'd be great anyway. So I went in to buy
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: a bunch of stuff for the house.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: What did you get?
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: I think I've got some doorstops because it's quite breezy,
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: which is lovely.
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: Oh like a little snake.
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: Just the stand of white ones because those long, snaky,
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: slug looking ones. They always end up in the kids
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: bed because I think it's a toy.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and they're all dusty. They get left outside and
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: all they're wet? Are the white ones like the ones
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: that you drill onto the door.
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: No, no, they're just a little rubber thing you kick
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: under the door. He's kicking under the door like a wedge,
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: like a rubber.
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: You need that for the breeze.
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: Sorry, they'll do the job a wedge. Why are you
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: that perplexed about the Let's not get hung up on
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: the doorstops.
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: Things that I needed to get, just bits and pieces,
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: hooks and whatever you get when you hooks for pictures
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: of things.
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: I don't know. My sister bought me a really nice
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: picture of Narrawbing Beach. It's a nice photograph. That's one
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: would call it.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: Where did you put it?
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: Whatever? Hook was? Availab because I'm yet to get around
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: to put the hooks up. Anyway, I'm perused in the.
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: Aisles, and I always hate when people ask me do
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: I need help?
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: Like, no, I know what I'm doing.
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: Anyway, I'm ashamed. I'm ashamed to ask for help. Okay,
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: but where.
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: Does this insecurity come from?
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: Let's go all the way. But no, it's not. I'll
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: take us all day. You don't need that.
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: I just say no, you say no.
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: No, I'm saying armor, right, I don't run away and
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: from arms, and we're.
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: Like, oh, it was like, this is the sixth time
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: come home empty handed from out to ten? What's going on?
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: One time walk into a shop and I got in there.
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: As soon as I walk into it, I can I
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: help you with anything?
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: I was like, I didn't even answer. I just turned around.
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: That's why I shop online. That's whet my laundry online. Anyway,
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: I was perusing the aisles and like I said, I
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: had been unwell and I thought I need a fart.
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: And it has been a while since this has happened
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: to me.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we had a period early on the early days
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: of the podcast regular occurrence. People are probably wondering, like,
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: oh good on ash.
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: Jan his laugh around Anyway, I am Also, it's risky.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: Doing it in aisles because youself next minute this someone
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: asking for help and you're there.
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: Under the fluorescent lights too, Like it's very hideous, like
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: you can see everyone, like it's like at a nightclub.
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: When the lights come on. Yeah.
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: So I was like, I was in the door handle
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: aisle for some reason. I wasn't even looking for all
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: as it really got me on. Anyway, I tried to
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: sneak out a little fart. Turns out it was liquid. Yeah, yeah,
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: And I knew immediately, and I had my hands full
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: of things.
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: Oh okay, and I had to. I had to. And
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: I'll show it. Can I demonstrate, please, what I did.
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: It's better for me to demonstrate. I know this is
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: an audio, non.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: Videw I'll describe the actions. Okay, all right, Ash's removed
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: his headphones, He's stood up. This is the Yeah, Ashes
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: perusing the door handles, and he's just lifted his right leg, Yeah,
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: just to open the cheeks up slightly.
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: And it happened, and I went.
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: And I froze, froze.
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: I couldn't bend my legs. So I was like, drop
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: the bars down, pay the town back away, and I
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: just walked out all the way out to my view
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: and I went home.
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: Wait, you didn't go to the toilet.
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: I did go to the toilet at home.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: Why don't you get the toilet?
• 18:11
  Speaker 5: Oh?
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: This was too embarrassing. I just wanted to get you
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: to a safe, neutral zone.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: Because there has been one time I went into a toilet,
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: a public toilet, and there was a pair of ditched undies.
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: Boops.
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: No, I look if I was out, like if I
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: have done it before where I was in a park
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: and I went to the toilet Ditchmandy.
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: But this was middle of the day. Trade is everywhere
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: the fluorescent.
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: You don't want to shoot yourself in front of the trade.
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: I just stiff legged my way out. People just thought
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: I was stealing because I looked so guilty.
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: It's look like a hammer down as power.
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: And I got to my car, I was like, okay, thankfully,
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: my attend's not too far from my house.
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: I got home and April was like, where is everything?
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: And I was like, it's actually an aisle ate steal
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: with the door knobs because I shit myself in ile.
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: A and I'm stiff legged my way all the way home.
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: So if you don't mind, I'm going to go clean
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: myself up and never go back to mart to.
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: Ten ever again.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: Paul, little thing.
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: Anyway, the run is over. It's been like twelve months.
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: The run has just begun.
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe the runs that have just begun. Yeah, very good. Yeah, okay,
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: I like it. Anyway, that's an imbim right now.
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, that's okay. No one deserves that, especially not yourself. Well,
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: did you get you went back and got the hooks.
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: I went to bunnies.
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: Hey, we spoke last week about the phantom illnesses that
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: our kids sometimes.
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yah yeah yeah. What do you
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: got for me?
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: Let me just go out and say that I'm an
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: evil genius. Okay, yep. I saw an opportunity to work
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: to my advantage and I took it with both hands,
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: as you would. So we were a bit late on
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: Laura's immunizations. There's a neil. I don't know what.
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: It was for for Laura. For the baby Lola, I apologize,
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: I'm confused, So.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: I'm an evil genius. Lola her injection was due for
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: an injection.
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: You don't know what you just took her to get
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: jab with.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: I think it was the daycare was like, oh, did
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: you get a four year old needle for this thing?
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, Laura did she She's like no,
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: like gonna go take her. And at the same time,
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: we have these phantom tummy aches. I do recall I
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: keep popping up attention. We think it's for attention because
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: she's eating her poos are fine. I'm checking out the poos,
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: no issues whatsoever. And Chanta Bash and.
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: Don't check my poos.
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: Absolutely, So I thought I'm going to go book her
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: in and to take her. And when she's like, hey,
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: where are we going, I say to her, We're going
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: to the doctors because your tummy ache. And she she's
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: straight away she was like what. And I'm like, well,
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: you tummy. You keep saying you gotta saw tummy and
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: you know nothing's fixing it, and it's still there. Is
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: its saw now She's like, no, not now. I was like, well,
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: five minutes ago you said it was sore, so we've
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: got to we've got to take it to the doctors
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: and figure out what's wrong with you. And she was
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: like fuck. She's like, nah, we'll just go We'll go
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: to daycare. I don't need to go to doctors. And
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: I was like, it's a booked in, honey, come on,
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: hop in the car.
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: And I was like, idiot, gotcha, you're four in my
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: mid thirties.
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: And she had no idea that she was booked in
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: for a big old needle.
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: I hate needles.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: And we get there and I kind of say, Lola's
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: got to saw tummy and the doctor checks it out,
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: does a couple of little like pressure tests kind of
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: says to me, Lola was distracted with the toy and
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: she's like, Na, this doesn't seem like anything wrong with
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: her whatsoever. And I was like, you keep that to yourself. Okay,
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: we're going to play little, a little role play right now.
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: To the GP.
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: I was like, you're going to tell her that she's
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: very sick and the only way to heal her is
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: with the needle.
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: Oh my god.
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: And she was like, I can't do that.
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: I feel like you'll do what I tell you to do. Doctor.
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: I pay and I get a.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: Gap back, and she was like, let me.
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: Like your inssurances laps.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: I was like, you're going to put this wig on.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: We're going to change your name.
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: Tuck your sack back. I sure reads a man doctor.
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: It was actually a female, okay, But she went she
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: went to go get the needle. The needle wasn't in
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: the room. I may have said to Lola, the tummy
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: ache is a problem.
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: Oh my god. This poor Charl's never going to trust again.
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: And I was like, but the good news is they
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: can fix it with some medicine. Okay, Okay. The medicine
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: is a needle.
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: It comes in syringe form only, and she was like.
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, like the syringer, I have a you know,
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: the diamodone.
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: I was like, no, it's it's a little bit different anyway,
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: so I pin her down. Oh my god.
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: She came in and was like please not like ah.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: And also I held the sleeve up and I held
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: her arm across the chest like this, and the doctor
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: was like, look out the window and Laula just goes.
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: I want to watch it go in. You're an evil,
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: evil parent. But she needed the she needed the injection,
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: but you just used.
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: No one mentioned of the tummy ache since.
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: Oh good, it worked. You did it, you solved it.
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: And now and she's also immunized to win, just on
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: the fake tummy eggs. I actually caught Oscar out yesterday.
• 24:07
  Speaker 3: So we were at the shops and he loves the
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: karag chicken cups, you know from the.
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: Sushi thing karake chicken, so that again.
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: Gets the deep fried chicken.
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: Yes, and he loves it, which is cool. And then
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: we had he had half.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: Of my girls had never once eaten that.
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: They got to try it.
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: Yet I won't have a tummy age anyway, he had half,
• 24:29
  Speaker 3: and he said, oh, can we take this home?
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: I'll have the rest of I was like, yeah.
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: That's fine.
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: That's very mature of you.
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 24:35
  Speaker 3: And we were at home and I was like, oh, hey,
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: are you going to eat that chicken? Like I think
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: he took it. The tone is like I was forcing
• 24:42
  Speaker 3: him to do it, you know, we like did he like,
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: you're gonna eat that? And he was like, I think
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: I've got a sort of Tommy And I said, I'm
• 24:47
  Speaker 3: not forcing him, just asking.
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: He was like, no, I'm not going to have it
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: come up with music. But I was like, you fuck up?
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: Are you folded that quickly? You bastard? Anyway, he school
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: holidays ended today.
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: It's over.
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: It's over.
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: It's over.
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: Not looking forward to the big one.
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: A huge congratulations to yourself all parents out there. I
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: think Queensland went back last week.
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: They've been back for a week, so they're up there.
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: They've been gloating for a week, but now we're back.
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: What the hell is going on with Queensland?
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: Same with Victoria? What and perse like four hours behind
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: going on?
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: We used to be a country united, we used Now
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: all this division in dates and times too much like
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: South Africa's Oh my god, just shut up.
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: Anyway, let me get back to these right. I know
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: what you're saying, and I stand united with you. Jess
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: right down that we need to bring country back into one.
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: Please as a top priority, write that down.
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: Thank you for helping me there.
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: Anyway, I have the kids like June school holidays. I
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: have them one or two days a week in the
• 25:57
  Speaker 3: middle of the week, both of them as exhausting.
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: Don't know how parents do it. I don't know.
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: I don't don't know how stay at home parents do it.
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: I don't know how to do it. You are the
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: serious heroes.
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: Of this nation. Glutton for punishment.
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: Glutton, what a great word.
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: Thank you. Glutenon same thing, is it?
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Maybe I had both kids. Anyway, April is such
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: a good dad. Thank you. April worked works from home.
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: As you know. She has an office which is also
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: my scene rig room. So yeah, what room, samrigator?
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: Oh?
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: Sorry me and we share it.
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: It's a sim rig is the seat of a race
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: car that has a steering wheel and pedals. Yeah, and
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: Ash drives so races Formula one cars using the sim rig.
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm pretty god.
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: It's actually quite fun.
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: It is very fun. You should see it now. It's
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: very different next time.
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: Anyway, So the kids are at home and I did
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: like a little job with Oscar midway through the day
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: at the shop. So I bought them and they were
• 26:57
  Speaker 3: both very well behaved, so they they wanted similar goo.
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: So I got the leg and I love Lego, you
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: know that. So I was like, oh, yeah, cool, So
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: I let them pick a cheap Lego eat nothing too
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: crazy because it's not fucking Christmas. She loves it too,
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah great, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, so I got them Lego.
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: Kids are deep in their Lego for the afternoon, just
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: like a bit of chill out time before we maybe
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: go for a scooter ride and in the afternoon, late
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: afternoon and it is sometime sometime maybe we'll see. And
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: then I was like, okay, I need to take shit.
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: So I was like, kids, I'm just gonna go to
• 27:28
  Speaker 3: the bathroom real quick, no worries. Okay, I'm in the
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: bathroom for a normal amount of time, fortes.
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: I'm out for dinner. I get back and the kids
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: are asleep.
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: The kids are asleep and they've had dinner and lunches
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: may take out, and I was going on there anyway,
• 27:47
  Speaker 3: I come back out and April is out of her
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: office and the kids are out of you know, their
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: legos complete, and April's pissing herself laughing, and I said, okay,
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: what's I've missed the joke sing there that long.
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: I've missed a joke. What's so funny?
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: And she was like, the kids barged in with their
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: complete lego to show it.
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: Off to me.
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: So happens that I'm on a tip what they call
• 28:09
  Speaker 3: a town hall meeting, which is all of like the
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: all the team leaders, all of the projects for a
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: big company.
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: It's huge, massive, multinational. Yeah. Anyway, she's an executive assistant
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: to the president. Yes she is.
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's my April.
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: She's a go getter. My April, yours by affiliation. Anyway,
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: she said, the kids came in I'm talking, interrupted me
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: and said here's the lego and she was.
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: Like, oh great, and never on the call was like
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: oh that's going wow. And April goes, where's your daddy
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: and he goes he's doing a big poo. Yeah you are.
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: Punishment and April's like, that's weird, it's not an out
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: of ten.
• 29:00
  Speaker 3: Start walking in the doorstick legged, and I was like,
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: oh what happened. Anyway, everyone laughed and the call abruptly ended,
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: and that's the last of the call that happened.
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: So they finished off a town hall meeting with maybe.
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: One hundred people in it from my six year old
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: telling them that dad's in there doing a big pooh
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: with the door open.
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: Do they know who you are?
• 29:28
  Speaker 6: Oh?
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: My god? Anyway, I was.
• 29:32
  Speaker 3: It's had It's a weird feeling to find it really
• 29:35
  Speaker 3: funny and also be very it's a little embarrassing, a
• 29:37
  Speaker 3: lot of shitting in it. You've had a lot.
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: Had a lot of shit going on.
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: Are you gonna it will be awkward when you see
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: everyone at the Christmas party?
• 29:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well it'll be I don't know what it'll be
• 29:49
  Speaker 3: this year. We'll see you probably dinner, so they'll be
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: even more awkward. They're like, I don't want to sit
• 29:53
  Speaker 3: next to shitty.
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: That's the guy. That's the guy. That's the guy himself
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: a nunt ten And then he went hit in the tole.
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: He can't have impaired the kids without doing good ship.
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: You know what, next time, I'm dragging Oscar and there
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: with me and you can suffer through the steam.
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: Speaking of school holidays, Okay, I know we now beyond school.
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: Holiday by the time it comes out with everyone to
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: be back in the.
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: Back in the thick of it, and the thick was
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: Marley happy.
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: To go back? Was she like, I want to go
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: back to school. Oscar was pumped.
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: She was excited, except stupidly, we're now at the point
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: where we just to drop and go at the front
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: gate and she has about twenty meters to go from
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: the front gate to her classroom and she goes, can
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: you come and walk me in?
• 30:37
  Speaker 5: Oh?
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: And I was like, I'll do that.
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: It's first day back.
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: And then it was just it was hard to I
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: always maybe one of the last bit late, one of
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: the last parents to drop her off.
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: Wait you late, No, I got to have a jab.
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's warranted. I deserve that. And she was like
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: she didn't want to let me go. What my hug?
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: Wan my hug? And then she's crying and each is
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: lovely and kind of was like, don't worry, Molly, Like,
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: how's your holidays?
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: Just distract?
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: Distract, distract. It was a yes no answer, and I'm sorry.
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: I couldn't help myself. I really couldn't help myself. You
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: team me up perfectly to that. Okay, so no, the
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: answer is no, I like.
• 31:25
  Speaker 3: It, alright, alright, right, so she was upset, you're funny,
• 31:32
  Speaker 3: I am, I am funny.
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: That is so yeah, okay, so yeah, she wasn't happy
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: to go back.
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: She was.
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: Okay, I'm glad we got there.
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: Okay, you've made the rest of this record awkward. Got
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: a segment before we go, Before we go, I think
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: I have the greatest parenting hack of our generation.
• 31:50
  Speaker 3: I will be the judge of that. Actually, no, the
• 31:53
  Speaker 3: listeners will be the judge of that. I think it's
• 31:55
  Speaker 3: going to include them every now and then.
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: This is life changing.
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: You really team this up.
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: This will improve the lives of parents all around the world.
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: Even that one parent in Iceland who listens to us, they'd.
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: Be like, this does not discriminate national borders. It carries
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: through everywhere all around the globe.
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: Go on, laid on me.
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: The kids were chomping for some TV time when they
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: just turn into little assholes when they get a bit
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: of TV. So we try as best as we can
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: to not give it to them until the end of
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: the day. And then it's more a case we want
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: a bit of a break, get.
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: Done when they're stuck to oh my kids.
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: Do Their house could be burning down and the TV
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: is on. They will sit there and continue watching without
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: making a noise. I could be getting murdered by an
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: intruder and like, Booz, help me, and they'd be like, yeah,
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: one more episode of my Pony Princess fucking now. But
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: we've given them something to watch, which just it's magic.
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: Okay, but this is not you. They're playing a game,
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: are they? Are They not? So? Okay, I'm watching here.
• 33:13
  Speaker 3: It looks like just dance or whatever, and the girls
• 33:15
  Speaker 3: are following the dance moves to go along on the
• 33:19
  Speaker 3: adventure like it's it's a game.
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: It appears that they're playing an interactive game. Ashton, Okay.
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: The thing is they're not at all, far from it.
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: Explain.
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: The actions on the screen are in no way a
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: directive from the movements of my children.
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: It's really into it.
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: They fucking love it. Play this for about half an
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: hour they've be exhausted. We typed in K Pop Demon
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: Hunters interactive game, and it's someone who's obviously played the
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: game recorded their screen. They put it on YouTube, so
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: the kids then watch it back, thinking that they are
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: trolling the characters on the screen.
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: Genius and they're idiots. Kids are idiots.
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: And then only until like half an hour later that
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: Lawla was like getting pretty tired and she stopped moving
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: and then she looked at the screen.
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: And went, it's still moving.
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: How is that working? But I put that on my
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: stories and just the outpouring of parents being like, send me.
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: The link now, wow, So I'm going to try it.
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: It's great this afternoon, I'll send you the link. We'll
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: put it in the Facebook group, we'll put it in
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: the show. Actually, no Facebook group put it in there.
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: Come and find it, Come and find.
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: That's her threat, Come and find it. But that would
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: just that's good gear mate, that's good g Yeah, well
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: they fall for that sort.
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: Danny go go.
• 34:44
  Speaker 3: It's like April said yesterday, like the kids are watching
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: TV in the afternoon.
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: She was like, your eyes will go square, and I
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: was just like what square? Like it's a saying.
• 34:54
  Speaker 3: It's like a saying for what use your brain?
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: Danny go go? Also search him, Danny go go, Danny
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: go go.
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: What is he going to be like a blippy situation.
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: I'm going to cringe the whole time.
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: Oh, it's very cringey, but it's great. He does like
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: he's like, come on kids, dance.
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: Has he had someone poop on him as well?
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: Not yet. All good child entertainers do have some kind
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: of poop story. You'd be great, you'd be great.
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: And there's still time. Should we go to a segment?
• 35:21
  Speaker 3: Matt, please tell me love, tell me little Live.
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: This is from Jade and she says, we were out
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: in the car today and passed multiple macers and KFC's
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: so k C, which is what a kids called KFC
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: k C k C.
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: They're missing idiots, so.
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: Sorry, and hungry Jacks and the trifecta KFC macers. Jack's
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: my three year old kept demanding for a happy meal.
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: We informed him that they will not give us a
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: happy meal if he's not happy. Yes, they don't make
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: sad or angry meals.
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: Oh I'm happy.
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: This word detreat. After a few deep breaths, he comes
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: right down.
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: That's gray good year.
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: I like that, and it's really good.
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: That is good.
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: I love that. Hey, Ash, why don't we do one
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: lie and we'll do one pair rant? So it's time
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: for this one of the free Say what.
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: Man? I feel like a pear?
• 36:33
  Speaker 6: Rants from Harley, and Harley says, I swear the moment
• 36:44
  Speaker 6: we pick up our fork, our two newborn's clocking for
• 36:47
  Speaker 6: their night shift of chales.
• 36:50
  Speaker 3: It's like they've got a sixth sense for ruining hot meals.
• 36:55
  Speaker 3: Anyone else newborn love ruining their eating pleasures.
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: There must be twins, right, I'm gathering.
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: I think we can't confirm. No, Harley's got twins. Shout
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: out to Harlee. He's a long term listener.
• 37:07
  Speaker 2: Fair rant too, because every parent deals with that.
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: Mate, parents of twins. I do not know how the
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: hell you do it.
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: I mean, we'd poppy at the moment, like whenever I finished.
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: You know, yeah I cook, yeah, cook.
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: That's me. Give a little pat in my back, Marinara.
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: Ash has a go at me because I like to
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: order a seafood Marinara and he says that's for rich people.
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: It is. It's just like when you get salmon from thy.
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: Seafood is not a sign of let's focus on the parent,
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: shall we can? People just back me up here. No
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: middle class Australia loves the Marnara.
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: I'm not trying to rope people in need to make
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: you seem like you're on.
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: I am mumble beginnings.
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: What's in a seafood?
• 38:02
  Speaker 5: Ma?
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: See, I wouldn't know because I've never happened.
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: But Poppy every time, like last night, cooked a sake,
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: beautiful steaks, God to fill it, thank you, and it's just,
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: you know, I what do you need to start doing?
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: Is staggering the meals? I need to cook Laura's first,
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: and then I take Poppy, and then once she's finished,
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: I can give Poppy back to her, then I can
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: finish my meal.
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: It's just it.
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: Takes twice as long, twice as long, and dinner is
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: just it's a feeding yourself as a fucking ordeal. Let alone,
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: a newborn child.
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: Loving loving you is an ordeal.
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: Love being bad right now to a newborn child.
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: Let me just put that out there.
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: Questions Ash okay Ash. This is from Celesta, was submitted
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: on the Facebook group and she says, I have a
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: question about toddlers and irrational fears. First, here is the situation.
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: My daughter, she's nearly three, has suddenly developed a very
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: genuine fear of wait for it, flies.
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: I know it's a genuine fear because the look in
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: her eyes is pure terror, and she runs to us frightened.
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: We have treaded carefully because we don't want her to
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: feel as though we don't care if she is scared,
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: but we are also treating it calmly, just like flies,
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: calm saying things like, oh, it's just a fly. You say,
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: shoe fly, don't bother me. Sometimes she joins in with
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: the shoeing. But today at daycare we received a call
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: about her I rational fear. We honestly don't know how
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: or when this started. Specifically, it was rather sudden. I
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: don't know how to navigate this, and as we approach summer, yes,
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: it's impossible for us to avoid flies, particularly since we
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: live near bushland. Question, how do we help her?
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: Two things I've got here.
• 39:59
  Speaker 3: First one is I don't like it when these kids
• 40:02
  Speaker 3: give you shit all day and then they want you
• 40:04
  Speaker 3: to help you when they're scared of something that's just
• 40:06
  Speaker 3: not fair.
• 40:07
  Speaker 2: You get me.
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm picking up what you're putting down.
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: That's the first one.
• 40:11
  Speaker 3: Second one, I can't really help with that, but I'll
• 40:13
  Speaker 3: tell you about Oscar's a rational fit and now Macy's.
• 40:15
  Speaker 3: It's rubbed off onto mate. It's the hand dryer in
• 40:18
  Speaker 3: the public bathroom.
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: Bro, my kids are petrified, even the diasion. I'm like,
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: this is the good one, I know.
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: And I know, yeah, this is the expensive one. Anyway.
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: I first of all, I.
• 40:30
  Speaker 3: Didn't think I thought they were joking, so when they
• 40:33
  Speaker 3: went to put their hands in there, and that made
• 40:38
  Speaker 3: it worse.
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: When there's no paper towel, just you know, it's it's
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: instinct to just go straight for the hand dryer. And
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: the kids are like, I.
• 40:47
  Speaker 3: Know, right, they ran, they run out. But I've taught
• 40:50
  Speaker 3: them to just put their hands in their pockets. So
• 40:54
  Speaker 3: there's a parent hack too, So maybe tell your daughter
• 40:57
  Speaker 3: was ittiflieres just put your hands in your pockets.
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: Well, look, flies are let's be honest here, they are
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: very dangerous, annoying, spreading disease.
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: You see that guy.
• 41:13
  Speaker 3: It's like I'm a fly and I've just discovered some shipthy.
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: Filthy, filthy filly. But we do have a solution here.
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: Jess has actually passed this over the table and this
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: is something that she was wearing when she visited.
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: It was like some of the lingerie. Just put your
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: wife's lingerie over your head.
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: Wow, wow, this is this is okay?
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: It is It looks like it looks like you look
• 41:44
  Speaker 2: like a widow. You look like your husband's She was
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: so much, she was such a lovely killed all the fliers.
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: But this is a fly mask.
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: It's a screen door that goes over your head.
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: Yes, and you know what, visibility slightly impacted, but still
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: I can still see.
• 42:05
  Speaker 3: I can't look at you like this, and I feel
• 42:08
  Speaker 3: like I need to hand you a tissue and be like.
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: It's going to be okay.
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: I'm good to miss old Clarence.
• 42:14
  Speaker 2: It was such a good fly.
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: Buy your child one of these. Well, let's prop problem solved.
• 42:21
  Speaker 2: Well, the fly is still going to be there, but
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: it's not going to be able to get to you.
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: It's a shield. You were giving your child armor Arma
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: so they can face their beer head on? Will that
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: work with the hand dryer?
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: You reckon?
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: You're an idiot. If you enjoyed this episode, please give
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: us a review, a number of stars, a few comments.
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: We would love to get to a thousand before the
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: end of the year.
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: Would beg for these Please.
• 42:49
  Speaker 3: It will make you be I'll do it and ash.
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: People want to find us on social media? Where can
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: they go on?
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: Coun tip top, Let's Facebook? Now you cube because are
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: on your ship and we'll be able to see what's
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: on that.
• 43:05
  Speaker 3: And are.
• 43:09
  Speaker 5: Yeah aaa, they're fucking next door.
• 43:24
  Speaker 2: Runs back out with a fucking this would be quick.
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: It'll be quick. He'll be over in a flash. He's coming.
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: He's coming on the side of the house with a
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: blower right now, I can hear it. Sorry about this, everyone,
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: I apologize.
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: It's like waiting for the microwave to finish. The slowest
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: minute ever.
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that was.
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: I'll look back over and it's like fifty nine. Still,
• 43:49
  Speaker 2: I'm like.
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: Two. Doting Dad's podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: We pay respects to their elders past and present and
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestrate islander peoples today.
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: This episode was recorded on Gadagal Land.