Latest / Celeste The Therapist / EP 464 Embracing Stillness: A Guide to Inner Peace and Mindfulness

Transcript

EP 464 Embracing Stillness: A Guide to Inner Peace and Mindfulness · Celeste The Therapist

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  talk about your pain can't appreciate the sun without acknowledging it
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  rains right that's right so this is a moment of clarity and
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  make sure you always protect your energy you stay focused
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  and your life gonna be lit and you are now rocking with Celeste the
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  therapist let's go All
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  Hi. Hi, beautiful people. If
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  anybody's watching me on the replay, thank you so much for watching me. I appreciate
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  you. My name is Celeste. I'm a therapist from Boston. And
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  I come on Wednesdays. I am a little late now, but I
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  come on Wednesdays to talk about a
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  subject and then kind of think about solutions and ways that
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  we can work through it. I'm just trying to
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  make sure I'm live on Instagram, and
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  then we'll get started. Today we're talking about embracing
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  stillness, embracing stillness and
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  the importance of it And okay, I'm
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  live on Instagram. We're talking about bracing stillness. I'm live on
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  TikTok, Facebook and
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  YouTube and Instagram. I'm
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  live everywhere. There's a platform I use if anybody's interested
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  called StreamYard where you can go live everywhere, but you can't
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  do it on TikTok. So I have to do it separately on TikTok. So
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  today we're talking about, this is the setup that
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  we're gonna do today. So mastering the art of embracing
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  stillness, a guide for inner peace. So
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  first, just really understanding the concept of stillness, the
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  benefits of embracing stillness for inner peace, techniques
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  for incorporating stillness into your daily routine and
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  overcoming obstacles to find stillness. practicing
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  mindfulness and meditation for deeper stillness, using stillness
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  as a tool for self-reflection and personal growth, and cultivating a
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  peaceful mindset through the art of stillness. These
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  are things that I feel that
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  hinder people from having peace and stillness. Hey, Derek. Not
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  being able to cultivate stillness in your life will
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  create a lot of internal trauma. So I'm
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  a very visual learner. TikTok, sorry you can't see this. But one
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  of the things I think I want to answer first for people that might
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  not understanding what's the point, right? But
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  why should I embrace stillness? Stillness can lead to better
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  mental and physical health, including improved sleep,
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  creativity, and the ability to let go of negative
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  thoughts. One of the things or
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  one of the reasons why people struggle with
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  stillness is because it's not really incorporated in society. Everything
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  is like fast paced, like go, go, go. A lot
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  of times when people were still, life felt really hard for
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  them. Things felt really challenging. So people
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  have learned how to cope with always doing something. Always
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  being on our phone, always checking our email, always going to
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  work, always helping somebody. A lot of times it's not that people
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  are intentionally avoiding stillness. I know that sometimes people do
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  intentionally avoid it. So it's not about people intentionally avoid
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  it. I just think people don't realize that they are
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  living their lives on the go, go, go all the time. And
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  the thing about not being able to embrace stillness
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  is that you will never understand what's happening in your
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  head. You don't understand the thoughts. We are not our thoughts. We
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  can't help sometimes the thoughts that are coming in our mind. We
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  can only work on identifying them and challenging them.
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  Hey, Frat Head. Hey. dealing with
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  them and challenging them, right? That is the biggest thing that you need
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  to really think about is that the thoughts are going to come. And I
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  tell people, do you want to engage in them? And so you can
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  debunk them. Or if you choose not to engage in them, what's
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  going to happen is that unfortunately, you're going to start to
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  believe the thoughts. And a lot of times those thoughts are lies
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  or propaganda or what society has said. So it's
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  so important to think about, how can I work on embracing
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  stillness so I can understand what's going on? Because if
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  I ask people if they want peace, a lot of times people will say, yeah, I
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  want peace. Oh, I want to get on my mic. People will say, yes, I
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  want to have peace. But the things that you need to do to create
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  peace does require a level of uncomfortability.
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  So I really want to help people understand how to work
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  through that. Some of the common struggles that
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  come with people trying to work on embracing stillness. Let
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  me just get on my mic really quick. so that
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  when it's on the podcast, people can hear. So
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  some of the common reasons why people struggle with
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  pausing, because one time that we all paused
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  as a collective was during the pandemic, if people remember. During the
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  pandemic, we were all forced to pause. And for a lot of people, it
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  was very uncomfortable. I think that was the first time some people realized that
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  they struggled with embracing stillness. So
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  when you embrace stillness, if you've always been on the go, go, go,
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  your system is a little bit confused, right? Your
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  system will start to like struggle because it
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  may have always been in survival mode where it's like, we gotta
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  do this, we gotta do that. Or you're always worrying about something or
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  trying to figure out what's next. So your system will
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  be a little bit confused. And it'd be hard, like
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  it feels scary to be still. Like for some people, like
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  just being in silence or being alone is
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  hard where you always want to be doing something or with someone else. So
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  that's one of the things that's important because it's not, you know,
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  you can understand it's important to embrace stillness, logically, literally,
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  like stillness is important. But then when you try
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  to do it, you may struggle with the fact that it's challenging to
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  do. So what are some practical tips
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  that you can use to incorporate stillness, right?
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  How can I embrace stillness? Because I want
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  people to take the information that I give and
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  to take what you can. But I think sometimes when people are
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  learning things that they should do to help themselves. They
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  try to do it really quick or
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  try to overdo it. And your system goes into a shock. So
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  I really want people to think about small increments on how they can work on
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  developing a mindset of stillness. So the
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  first thing If you're
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  listening to this on audio podcast, there's a visual. Take
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  slow breaths. Deep breaths can slow your heart rate and induce a
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  parasympathetic system. So if you can just work
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  on taking time, there's this breathing circle that I love
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  using with people. It's a two minute breathing circle. Just
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  taking time to take deep breaths. That's a
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  good one. Schedule stillness. So set aside time
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  for stillness. I promise you, your system
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  is not going to remind you, hey, Celeste, remember you
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  heard Celeste, the therapist podcast, and she talked about stillness. You
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  think that we should think about creating that right
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  now? You're not going to get no alert in your head or your
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  mind until it becomes a reality where you're doing it
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  all the time. So you have to be really intentional on
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  embracing stillness with being intentional
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  about it. You can find a favorite spot where
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  it's like where that that's the place that I'm gonna work on like being still listening
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  to soft music can be calming. and help you
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  with working on slowing down your mind. Repeating
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  some calming phases, right? So if
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  you're working on trying to calm the noise in your
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  head or working on embracing stillness, saying
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  things like, today's going to be a good day, like I
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  am at peace. Even if you don't feel like you're at peace, all
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  you're doing is mentally preparing your mind to get ready, right? You're putting your
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  mind in an environment to help it understand I am at
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  peace. And when I think about that too, when
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  it's time for sleep, and this is why it's important to
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  work on creating a stillness practice where you're able to work on
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  being more mindful. When you're getting ready to go to sleep, a
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  lot of times people may have had a lot going on
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  in the day. Maybe you're on your phone, you're working late,
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  and then you just move into bed and you find yourself struggling with sleep. The
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  reason why that happens is because your mind is still going. Your mind needs to reset.
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  You got to be like, okay, now we're about to unwind, get ready
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  for bed, so maybe I'll put my phone away 30 minutes earlier. turn
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  off the TV, like read a book, something that's calming.
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  The lights, all those lights and stuff, they're not good for you before you
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  go to sleep. If you're struggling with sleeping, you're trying to think
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  about a holistic way of calming
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  the noise in your mind. definitely like get the screens
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  away and make sure that you are
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  like having some calming phases, even like some
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  essential oils are good to help you with that process. I
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  know sleep is a huge thing for people, struggling
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  with trying to get some sleep. And when your sleep is disrupted, it's
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  like the worst thing ever because your gut
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  health is messed up, the next day is messed up, you're irritable, you're aggravated.
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  Your mental status literally will change when
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  you're not sleeping properly. So really thinking
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  about creating some calming practices
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  before sleep will be great. Practicing gratitude is
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  another way to create stillness. Make a habit of
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  listing things that you are grateful for. This can help you shift your focus on
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  what's abundant and right in your life. It's
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  hard to think about all of these crazy things and
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  have gratitude at the same time. Gratitude's a
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  great way for you to make space to just pause and
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  think about what went well today. I talked to
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  people that are in relationships that are having a
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  hard time about making space to talk
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  to each other about the good things that are happening in the relationship. because
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  what happens is we only start to look at all of the hard
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  things that we're going through. And so then your mind only starts to
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  focus on that. So if you want to work on
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  creating some stillness in your life, taking
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  time to mention the
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  gratitude, the things that you're grateful for today, right?
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  Because when you're talking about what am I grateful for today, it literally
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  puts your mind in the moment, right? So if you're always
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  dwelling on the past or worried about the future, the
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  middle part is the moment. You're missing out on the moment. It's
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  hard to have peace when you're worried about the future. It's hard
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  to have peace when you're dwelling on the past. That's why
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  trying to get into the moment is such a powerful thing
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  because when you're in the moment, your mind is
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  not all over the place looking at other things. And
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  then connecting with nature, spending time in nature can help you slow down.
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  Something I would have never thought, but it's true. I love being in nature. I
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  know everyone's not a nature person. I may not have nature around them, but
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  even Just going for a walk into the sun and just
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  moving your body can help you. If you move your
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  body, look at the ground, put some soft
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  music in your ear, that's something that can really help you
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  think about embracing stillness. So
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  overcoming the obstacles to finding stillness, right? Because
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  it's one thing to know what to do, but then how to do it. So
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  I really wanna encourage people to really be intentional about
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  this process. One of the ways to
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  actually embrace it even fully is
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  having a practice of mindfulness and meditation. Anytime
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  I talk about mindfulness and meditation, I
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  feel like people will say, I can't meditate because
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  there's always noise happening in my head. And I say, yeah,
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  that's literally the point. The noise is happening in your head. And
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  the whole point in being able to work on creating
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  a meditation practice, it's for you to work on starting
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  to be like the author of it, like to make sure you're paying attention to
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  what's going on. So if you've ever tried
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  it and you feel like you did it wrong because you're hearing things, no, you're
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  doing it right, I promise you. So for people that are
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  watching or on the audio, I'm gonna
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  read what I have up. These are some tips for beginners who
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  wanna start meditating. So start small,
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  begin by focusing on your breath for a few minutes, then gradually increasing
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  the time and complexity of your practice. A
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  few years ago, I started this with my kids, and I literally started
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  with two minutes. I would go on YouTube and find
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  a two-minute meditation, And we
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  would sit and they would complain. And now the
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  highest we've gone is 10 minutes, like a little routine before bed.
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  Because my goal is to help get them into a practice. As
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  they get older, you got to deal with life, right? A lot of
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  times when we're struggling with something, a
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  lot of turmoil, don't get me wrong, some hard things happen in
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  life. But I think a lot of turmoil we face is
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  internal. It's not external. It's a
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  lot of things in the way we're framing it, the way we're thinking about it.
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  And in order for you to work on like shifting your thought process and
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  creating new thoughts, right, and creating new habits, You
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  got to make sure that you're being in tune
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  with what's happening. It's really hard not to. And
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  so really creating a practice to be still and
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  see what's going on. And the good thing, another great thing about being able
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  to understand yourself and be still is that you know
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  when your body's struggling, right? I
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  was, um, you know, I was sick for like a month and
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  a half and I realized something was wrong, but, um, I
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  was listening to my body, even though the doctors told me like, they don't know,
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  everything seems fine. You know, I, I found out my vitamin
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  D was really low and creating a lot of turmoil in my
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  body. And I feel like if I wasn't in tune
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  with my body, I just would have chalked it up to, oh, and it
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  was dark, the winter was here, maybe I'm depressed, or
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  maybe I'm sick. If I didn't know my body, because
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  I wasn't really eating, I was tired all the time. So
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  if I didn't know my body, if I wasn't in tune with it, I
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  would have just listened to the doctors as my vitamin D is depleting. It
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  wouldn't have made any sense. Another
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  reason why stillness is important when it comes to understanding yourself
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  is that you can actually start to listen to your intuition. A lot
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  of times, in hindsight, people are like, you know what? I probably shouldn't have done
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  that. Or something was telling me, but that voice,
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  that intuition, that inner voice in you is not strong enough because there's
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  so many things happening outside of you that you're allowing to
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  lead the way. And that's just not OK when you're allowing
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  all of these things that are telling you who you are when it's
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  not true, when you're not in tune with your body or your mind
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  and your spirit, when you're watching things on social media,
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  when you're watching shows, all of these things, you really start
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  to find yourself being discontent with your life, not
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  realizing that these people are just trying to sell you something. So
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  really thinking about the benefits of being still even
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  though it's hard, but I want you to think about starting small, like
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  starting your practice small. Practice it when
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  it's convenient. Mornings are the best. So
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  when it's convenient, it's great. One of the ways I tell people to try
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  to implement this practice is in a shower. You
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  could do a shower meditation, especially if you've never done it before.
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  You can actually start your day, and the
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  ward is hitting you. You're in one space.
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  You can smell the soap, you can feel the soap and
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  really start to think about what you have to do for the day if it's in the morning
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  or thinking about what you have later that day or
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  what happened during the day if it's at night. I don't think people
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  understand how powerful it is to actually like
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  pay attention to what's happened throughout the day. Sometimes people
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  just want to forget you've gotten used to just glossing over
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  life, glossing over trauma, glossing over the hard things.
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  And the hard thing about glossing over
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  the hard things is that your mind starts to believe that that's how
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  life is. So you never find yourself seeing
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  the opportunities or the beauty in life. I know you've heard
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  stories of people, you'd be like, damn, they went through that or they went through this. How
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  are they here? They had to work through it. They had to be still. They
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  had to face the things that they didn't want to think about so
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  that it didn't control them. The problem with not
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  embracing the things that you may have dealt with, if
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  you're not doing that, the issue with not doing that is that that
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  is controlling the lens of your life. Your mind only
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  knows hardship, right? It doesn't know triumph,
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  right? Your mind is not looking for it because you're only
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  keeping that space in your head. Making it a habit
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  is important, right? So if you wanted to start like
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  a shower meditation routine, trying to do it every time you
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  take a shower. If you wanted to do it before bed, where
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  you set your timer, start doing it before bed. Be
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  comfortable and be prepared to sit still for a few minutes. If
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  you've never tried meditation, I
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  would suggest two minutes, literally just start with two minutes. You
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  do that for a couple of weeks, then you go to three minutes. Little
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  by little, it becomes so normal that you can, some
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  people practice for 20 minutes, 30 minutes, an hour. I'm not
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  saying you have to do it that way, but it's a great start
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  to start with two minutes. take your practice with you.
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  So meditate wherever you find quiet moments, right? So
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  right before I went into private practice, I've
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  always had coworkers and worked with people. I didn't realize like
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  I had an issue with being still until I was forced into stillness,
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  being in my practice and not having coworkers. And
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  so once I realized that, I
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  started to embrace the power of stillness.
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  Like I started to read more, listen to things more,
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  and I find that I'm able to listen to myself better. And
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  so now being still, my thoughts are really clear.
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  Like if I see somebody with the Five Guys shirt
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  on, or a commercial about burgers, all
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  of a sudden I'm craving burgers. I immediately know
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  it in the moment that I was influenced
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  by that commercial or that sign. That's something
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  small, right? But unfortunately, a lot
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  of people don't realize that some of the things that they're watching,
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  listening to, the people in their lives, unfortunately, it's
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  creating an influence on who you are as a person or what
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  life you're going to live. So really be mindful of that. Be
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  kind to yourself. Don't fight the feeling. And remember, it's a process. I
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  always like to say that If you're not kind
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  with yourself about this process, because sometimes people will beat themselves
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  up and say, why can't I just do that? I don't understand. And
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  it's not just going to happen by accident. It's going to happen with intention. So
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  really be mindful of that. And if you start this process
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  today, let's say you're listening to this or watching this,
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  and you're like, you know what? I do want to start being still, because
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  I say I want peace, but what am I doing to create peace?
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  And so I have to be intentional about the process. So I'm
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  going to put it in my calendar, right? Or I'm going to like the
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  same calendar, you may make appointments for people, make
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  that appointment for yourself, right? I'm going to set an alarm. that
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  goes off right before bed so that I can make sure that
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  I'm making space to be still, even if it's for two
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  minutes. And really big yourself up. Make it a big deal
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  when you do it. I think that if we
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  can't do 10 minutes or 20 minutes, it was like, oh, it was just two minutes. You
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  know, when I hear people say that, like, oh, they went from not working
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  out and then they did it once. And it was like, oh, I only did it once. I said, yeah, but you
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  went from zero to one. Like, that's a huge deal. And so
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  if we're mindful on how we're building ourselves up
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  when we're starting new things, today we just happened to be talking about stillness.
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  But in general, If you are mindful of
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  what you're doing and the steps you're making, and you're making
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  it a big deal, you'll actually begin to build confidence in yourself,
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  believe it or not. You need that inner dialogue to be positive.
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  You need that inner dialogue to be motivating. If your language
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  is like, oh, I only did this, or it was just this, or I only took one
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  class, but I still got 10 to go. No, I took
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  one class. I did amazing at it. I got 10 to go,
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  but it's a big deal that I did that one class. Really
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  be mindful on how you are speaking to yourself, because I
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  promise you, you're listening, your mind's going to go. at
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  the direction you take it. So let it be in a direction that is
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  positive to your spirit. So important. So I
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  hope this was helpful. If anything I ever say resonates for
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  you, I always tell people, really be intentional on
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  creating change. You have way more power than you realize. If
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  you ever find yourself always blaming people or blaming
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  other people, for where you are in your circumstances. I
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  promise you, yes, that could be true, but
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  taking accountability over your life where you have the
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  power and you see your power, it just looks different. Maybe that
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  means these circumstances that I'm in, I change that power. I
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  allow people to treat me. Really
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  be mindful of your power. Sometimes, even as an adult, we
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  forget our power because we will transcend into that
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  younger child state where we really didn't have power. But
• 23:33
  as an adult, really be mindful of the power you
• 23:37
  have in your situations. Because if you don't, you'll
• 23:41
  always feel hopeless. You'll always feel like things are never going to
• 23:44
  change when change is possible. I would say as long as you're still breathing, there
• 23:49
  is room for change. So thank you all so much for rocking
• 23:52
  out with me. We'll be here next Wednesday.
• 23:56
  We'll be here next Wednesday, 12 p.m. Eastern Standard Time.