Latest / The SmallBizChat with Melinda Emerson / Getting Started with Speaking with Misty Megia

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Getting Started with Speaking with Misty Megia · The SmallBizChat with Melinda Emerson

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  I personally think that introverts are the best speakers and the reason I think that is because
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  I feel that introverts are phenomenal observers, and they're really good at
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  understanding people's body language.
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  So when they finally, like, move through their fear, not get rid of their fear, but move their
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  fear and stand on that stage.
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  They can understand when they're resonating with an audience.
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  Or when they need to pivot, they can see the body language.
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  Oh, they're getting it.
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  Good.
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  I'll keep going in this way.
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  And so it's just a matter of them having some training and getting that step by step skill
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  set to move through the anxiety that they might have to get onto that stage, but most of them
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  when I work with them, they go, It's after that first 5 minutes and I'm in my groove.
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  I'm fine.
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  3, 2, 4, 0, ignition.
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  Leftos.
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  Ending small business failure.
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  Welcome to the Small Biz Chat podcast with a number 1 small business expert Melinda Emerson.
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  Melinda's goal is to end small business failure, and she'll give you the information
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  you need to succeed and live the life you dream of.
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  Now here's the small Biz lady herself.
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  Melinda Emerson.
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  Hi, everybody.
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  I'm Melinda Emerson.
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  Small biz lady.
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  America's number one small business expert, and I am so excited to welcome you to National
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  Small Business Week Edition of the Small Business Chat Live.
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  Listen, we have an incredible show here for you today.
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  Here on the small fish chat live, we are all about peer to peer mentoring.
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  The mission of small fish chat is to end small business failure.
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  And today's show is about how design your life and then design your business.
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  We're all about giving you advice from multiple angles so that you can think about maybe a
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  jewel or gem here that's gonna help you take your business to the next level.
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  So with that, let me introduce my guest.
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  Misty Mahia.
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  Misty is a business strategist and speaker coach and she has over 20 years of experience
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  in market strategy, product management, public speaking, corporate branding, and channel
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  marketing.
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  Missy is the founder of Missy Makiya LLC, where she works as a creative director for executive
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  speakers from ideation of high stakes presentations to delivery, helping to inspire
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  audiences from the boardroom to the keynote stage.
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  In addition, Misty is a performer director and choreographer in professional theater with more
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  than 100 productions in her background for more information mistymaha.com.
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  Misty, thank you so much for joining me on the small wrist chat live.
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  Oh, thank you for having me.
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  I love it.
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  So, Misty, walk us through your background.
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  Like, how did you get to, you know, you got a very, very background from theater to a
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  counting to helping people with their speaking skills.
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  So how did you end up doing all of that?
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  It is all over the place.
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  Right?
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  I think for me, you know, it started when I was super young and I epically failed at public
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  speaking, and that became my story for a really long time.
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  And my parents pushed me into dance so I could just be a comfortable in front of people and
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  then they push me into theater like they forced me to take a theater class and all of a sudden
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  that shy woman found her voice and a way to be in front of an audience with ease and it was
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  the step by step checklist where I think a lot of us, when we first speak, it's usually in
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  grade school, right, and we're shoved in front of and goes go speak about this topic, but
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  you're not given the tools to know how and you fail and that becomes your story.
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  And so me, that was my story for many, many years until I found theater and then I got a
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  theater degree and an acting degree and went into technology.
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  I'm in the Silicon Valley, and that's what you do as you go into tech.
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  And because of that degree, though, I became a global spokesperson for the very first company
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  I was at.
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  And I was able to memorize the topics and memorize the technology and be able to
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  articulate it on stage.
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  And so they gave me the mic.
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  And from there, I just kept going from company to company to company.
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  But because I still had an acting degree and a directing degree, I had to have feeder still in
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  my life.
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  So I was doing the professional feeder on the side.
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  Wow.
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  Wow.
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  So If you wanna become a professional speaker or even just speak more to promote your
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  business, let's not say not let's not say you necessarily wanna be this, you know, high paid
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  keynote speaker.
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  Let's just say you wanna use speaking to promote your business.
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  What should you do first?
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  For most people, I know that public speaking is an absolute fear.
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  Like, it's just paralyzing, but if you start with your small business in environments where
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  you do feel comfortable and setting yourself up for success, that could be, I know for me, when
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  I left corporate for a little bit and started my own company, years ago, I made friends with
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  the local newspapers and the publishers there.
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  And we just had coffee and chat, and then they started quoting me in the news and that helped
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  my business, but being comfortable in just having a one on one conversation and getting to
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  know people was my happy spot.
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  And then going to the city and joining the Small Business Association and becoming a
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  member there and then becoming the vice president of that association That also gave me
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  a way to speak to other business owners and figure out how together we could drive success.
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  So speaking into small areas first of where you go.
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  Okay.
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  I'm comfortable in a 1 on 1 or uncomfortable maybe 1 to 3.
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  You're not going on to that keynote stage of thousands like you are.
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  Might be the first step to go.
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  Alright.
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  I can drive success for my business.
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  By making these simple connections.
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  Now if you do wanna, let's say, become a professional speaker, How important is it to
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  develop a niche for your content?
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  I have produced some of the largest events and accounting.
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  And so we would have Oprah and all of these celebrities, Malcolm Gladwell come and speak at
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  our conference.
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  And when we did the breakout sessions, we would always have discussions of like, hey, we need
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  an expert in x, y, and z.
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  Who do you know?
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  So having a niche is really important because you become known as that speaker and that x
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  vert in that area, and your name will pop up as the person to go to for small business advice.
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  For e commerce advice.
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  Whatever it is, if you put that stamp on it, you will continue to be able to go deep and be
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  the person that people reach out to.
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  I love it.
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  So let's say you wanna be the speaker But you're an introvert.
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  Like, you're, like, really, I'm not that girl.
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  Like, I'm not I'm not gregarious and out here.
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  Shaking hands.
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  You know, I'm not the life of the party anywhere I go.
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  So how do you how do you bring that out of yourself if you're if you really are an
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  introvert?
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  Yeah.
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  I love that question, Melinda.
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  I personally think that introverts are the best speakers.
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  And the reason I think that is because I feel that introverts are phenomenal observers and
• 8:08
  they're really good at understanding people's body language.
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  So when they finally, like, move through their fear, not get rid of their fear, but move their
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  fear, and stand on that stage.
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  They can understand when they're resonating with an audience or when they need to pivot.
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  They can see the body language.
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  Oh, they're getting it.
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  Good.
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  Keep going in this way.
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  And so it's just a matter of them having some training and getting that step by step skill
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  set to move through the anxiety that they might have to get on to that stage, but most of them
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  when I work with them, they go, it's after that first 5 minutes and I'm in my groove, I'm fine.
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  But it's usually just that first five minutes of, like, panic.
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  So then we work on just really building a pre presentation ritual to get them come for
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  moment.
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  1.
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  So how do you get yourself sort of like your first speaking gigs?
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  Like, how do you how do you put yourself out there and And why do you know what they even
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  charge people when you're just getting started speaking?
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  Yeah.
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  For when you're first getting started, a lot of people want to go for that, like, oh, I'm gonna
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  go for a keynote.
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  It's like, that might not be the first place to start.
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  Luckily, all of these wonderful platforms, all of the social media platforms have video
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  components to it.
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  And so creating your own space first is, I think, really important, starting a podcast,
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  going on to LinkedIn and doing a LinkedIn live Whatever it is is creating your own moments
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  first so you can become that go to speaker for whatever topic you've decided to go to.
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  And then events start seeing you out there, start seeing your voice, start seeing your
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  style, what you're speaking about, and they become aware of who you are because I know for
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  me, when I hire speakers, I go and vet the work that they've already put out there so I can see
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  what kind of speaker they are, what kind of energy they have, they're gonna be bringing to
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  my audience, whether they're the right fit for who I have to serve.
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  So it's just a matter.
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  1st, create your own space.
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  Because that's gonna be the easiest thing to do.
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  And then you start applying for different events out there because everybody has an
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  application to go apply and become a speaker and make sure that you know their audience so
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  you can kind of tailor your application to what their audience is.
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  So when is the right time to develop your demo reel?
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  I mean, do you wait until you have that big keynote speech or can you do it in a in a
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  smaller venue just so you can, you know, be able to demonstrate something like of you on
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  stage doing your best?
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  You're so right.
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  Like, do it whenever you want.
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  You don't have to have a keynote to do it.
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  I literally have had people that have filmed and their friends in an audience and film them
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  doing a talk at a community event.
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  And they said that to me as they're real.
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  Would I recommend that?
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  No.
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  You wanna have something a little bit more polished, but typically a speaker and somebody
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  that hires them a producer can tell within a few seconds whether you have what it takes to
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  be on there.
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  And to me, what I look look for is articulate.
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  Are they poised?
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  Can I tell if they're nervous?
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  Like, if they're weight shifting and they're moving back and forth on their bottom half,
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  then I'm like, oh, they're really nervous in this situation.
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  So I will tell them a first few seconds whether they're just comfortable speaking and they know
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  their stuff.
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  And then it's like, alright.
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  I'm good.
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  I vetted them.
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  Now I just wanna have a conversation with them and hear a little about their topic.
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  But if you do that speaker reel of your webinars and maybe a piece of your podcast and
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  all of these other things and some quotes from people who have attended your events that have
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  raved about what you said or a moment that you mentioned that just made them go, ah, and have
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  that light bulb moment.
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  And that's everything that goes in your speaker, Will.
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  You do not need to have a keynote in order to create it.
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  I'm so glad you said that because I think people put a lot of pressure on themselves,
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  like, to you know, have this big, you know, there must be 3000 people in the audience kinda
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  thing.
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  And I'm like, I I was like, for years, I didn't even have a real, like, I just did all the
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  other social media stuff I did, and people just called me and asked me to speak.
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  So it works out.
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  So before you get out there?
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  How can you get some practice?
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  Like, what are some of the best ways to get practice before you pitch yourself for, like, a
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  really high profile opportunity?
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  When you are practicing for that moment, I was just speaking with one of my clients yesterday
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  and she actually created her own event and she is not keynoting her own event, but her goal is
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  to be a keynote.
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  Yeah.
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  That that was my phase 2, Melinda.
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  What?
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  The whole reason to do your own event is because it's your stage.
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  Like, what do
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  you do?
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  Yeah.
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  It's Exactly.
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  Exactly.
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  So, we had a a come to Jesus moment between the two of us.
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  And they said, hey, you are hiring all these phenomenal speaker and this phenomenal content,
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  why are you not keynoting if that's your goal to keynote?
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  And she goes, I'm not ready yet.
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  And I was like, Well, let's get you there.
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  You're like, girl, what are you doing?
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  Yeah.
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  No.
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  That's that's crazy.
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  So Wait a moment.
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  Right.
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  I mean, do you suggest people get on podcasts and stuff?
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  Like, just to get used to their voice, like, getting good at just answering questions, like,
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  getting good at explaining their story and sound by format.
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  I mean, is is that what you suggest for the people that you work with?
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  100%.
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  I think anytime that you have an opportunity speak, you're building your muscle that will
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  help you move through anxiety if anxiety is your the thing that's muting you, but
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  consistency in speaking and opportunities for podcasts, doing your own webinars, even client
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  conversations, like difficult conversations with your clients is a speaking opportunity and
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  a moment to really have impact and inform a client of how you would like the connection to
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  be between the two of you.
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  And so I think the more you can just practice the things that kinda cause anxiety, practice
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  your pitch.
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  If you have a group of people that you just know love and trust, ask them for their honest
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  feedback.
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  Say, hey, can I show you my pitch?
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  Can I just tell it to you?
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  Can you give me feedback?
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  The reason I say no love and trust is because I have definitely had somebody that did their
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  pitch for somebody, and they're like, why would anyone wanna listen to you?
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  And it derailed them.
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  And I said, well, are they your ideal audience?
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  Is it?
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  They're like, no.
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  It was just a friend of mine.
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  I was like,
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  Yeah.
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  Wrong friend.
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  Go.
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  Wrong friend.
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  Right?
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  And so find somebody that you really respect that you know will give you feedback with
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  kindness and love.
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  And tell you your opportunities for improvement, but also let you know what you're
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  doing right so you can keep doing those things.
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  Is Toastmasters valuable?
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  Yeah.
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  You know, there's a lot of different organizations out there that do public
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  speaking.
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  What I have found in my research before I launched my company is that people didn't even
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  wanna go to toastmasters because they immediately make you speak and they were so
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  afraid of even that part of it that it was like, oh, it caused anxiety.
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  And sometimes some of the organizations, what they do is they have do a bunch of different
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  types of speaking, but they don't give you the foundation to set you up for success.
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  And so you don't want to go to an organization that just forces you to speak but doesn't give
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  you the fundamentals of how to succeed because then you're just establishing really bad
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  habits.
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  And if you continue to fail, that will begin to become your story, and we want to set you up
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  for that success to go, oh, I did that.
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  I knocked that out of the park.
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  Oh, I did that, and I knocked it out of the park again.
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  And that way that becomes your story and your recording in your mind of I can do this.
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  I got it.
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  Love it.
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  Love it.
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  Alright.
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  When we come back on the small base chat live, We're gonna talk more with Missy Mahia about
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  getting started in with speaking.
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  Hi.
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  I'm Melinda Emerson's small biz lady, and I wanna welcome you to small biz lady university.
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  Our mission here is to end small business failure.
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  So all of the courses here are about 2 things.
• 16:53
  How to become your own boss or how to make money online.
• 16:57
  So that's what we do here.
• 16:59
  So whether you wanna learn about email marketing and sales funnels, or you're ready to
• 17:04
  Get started with social media selling, or if you're really just getting started with e
• 17:08
  Commerce, you might wanna jump into our how to sell and market online course.
• 17:12
  Either way, if you want to learn how to become your own boss and do it well, I have everything
• 17:19
  you need here atsmallvislatinguniversity.com.
• 17:22
  If you have any questions or have any technical problems getting signed up, just email us at
• 17:27
  support atmelindamerson.com.
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  Take care.
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  Alright, Missy.
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  I wanna go back and talk to you about how do you work through the anxiety?
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  If you're too freaked out to go to Toastmasters, what are you gonna do if you
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  really wanna get trained in speaking?
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  Anxiety is the of public speaking as the number one fear.
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  It's actually in our DNA.
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  So if you get a 23 and me DNA test, it'll tell you, like, if you're prone to fear of public
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  speaking or not, I'm 5050, which I thought was interesting.
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  My husband, no fear whatsoever.
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  But because it's in our DNA, it really is all about coming up with a formula to overcome
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  anxiety in the moment.
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  And for me, there's three things that you have to do, and it's NPR, and the m is a mantra, and
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  whether that is prayer or something that you say over and over, or it's a meditation moment,
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  you have to mentally shift your mind.
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  And then the next thing is p for physical activity.
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  A lot of times our nerves in our body have no way of getting out.
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  So they are just stirring, stirring, stirring, and that's when that weight shifting comes and
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  our body starts shaking, our hands start shaking our voice start shaking is because we
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  have this excess energy inside our body.
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  And so you have to do some sort of physical activity, even if it's jumping jacks real
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  quick, to give that physical energy a way to move out of your body instead of just keeping
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  in cycle.
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  And then the last one is r which is ritual and that's just doing the same thing every single
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  time before you speak.
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  So your body doesn't go into the fight, flight, or freeze mode It goes into this is normal.
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  I got this and just puts you in a path for success.
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  I love that.
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  I love that.
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  Now do you program that you have that work with people beginners that are like, you know, kind
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  of just wanna get started with speaking?
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  100%.
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  Yeah.
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  I have 2 programs.
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  I have one for speakers that I thought I was developing for beginning speakers.
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  And then all these people that do keynotes came in, so that's what it resonated with.
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  And so we went back to the drawing board because I really wanted to also serve those
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  people that suffer from massive anxiety in this area.
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  And when we found out that they didn't even wanna go to toastmasters or any type of public
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  speaking because their fear is so great, we developed a program that's all on demand for
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  people that want to start out and just move through the anxiety, learn the really basic
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  fundamentals of public speaking.
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  So then they can take that next step and actually putting it into action.
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  I love it.
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  I love it.
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  And then what is your the best business advice you've ever been given?
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  If if you're not disrupting yourself, someone else is going to.
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  I love it.
• 20:29
  Thank you so much, Misty, for being here with us.
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  I'm Melinda Emerson, the small biz lady, and I will leave you with this.
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  You never lose in business.
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  Either you win or you learn.
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  Alright.
• 20:40
  Have a great day, everybody.
• 20:43
  Thank you for listening to the small biz chat podcast with Melinda Emerson.
• 20:48
  For more resources and small business success strategies, visit succeed as your own boss.com.
• 20:55
  Subscribe to this podcast wherever you listen to podcasts and join us next Wednesday.