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Doja Cat & BPD: Why the "Mask" Finally Came Off · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:01
  Dojo can't just admit it's something that most celebrities
• 0:03
  would absolutely take to the grave.
• 0:06
  She has borderline personality disorder, BPD.
• 0:12
  She called it agonizing and said she's been faking her happiness
• 0:16
  since she was a kid. Since she was a since she was a
• 0:19
  child. She's been masking since she was
• 0:21
  a child. As someone that's diagnosed with
• 0:23
  narcissistic personality disorder.
• 0:25
  Like I saw that video and immediately recognized the
• 0:29
  masking. It immediately recognized the
• 0:31
  survival mask. Today we're talking about why
• 0:34
  Dojo cat is finally done pretending what did some did
• 0:39
  something happen that make her want to just be public with a
• 0:42
  diet, her diagnosis with her mental health condition and
• 0:45
  whatnot? So I saw the video on TikTok.
• 0:47
  Y'all we going to hop right into it If you're new here, Lee
• 0:49
  Hammock diagnosed narcissist. This is the this code and we're
• 0:53
  gonna hop right into it, y'all. So when she was talking to her
• 0:56
  video on TikTok, she said something about a pretend
• 1:00
  childhood, right? She said she literally said word
• 1:03
  for word. I've learned from a very young
• 1:05
  age to pretend that I like stuff, to pretend that I'm happy
• 1:10
  to pretend to get my needs met. That's what she's saying.
• 1:13
  She literally just described described masking.
• 1:15
  She's I learned from a very young age to pretend that I like
• 1:18
  stuff to pretend that I was happy to pretend to pretend to
• 1:21
  pretend, right? It's a survival thing.
• 1:24
  And I'm not saying that either her of her parents are
• 1:27
  narcissists, right? Sometimes you have a
• 1:29
  narcissistic parent or something like that happens in childhood
• 1:32
  that can lead you towards having borderline personality disorder,
• 1:35
  which is curable. She mentioned it in the video.
• 1:37
  She said it is curable. I've not been there in therapy
• 1:39
  for years, she said. It's curable, so good for her.
• 1:42
  Good for her going to therapy and working on it.
• 1:44
  I have been in therapy for nine years dealing with narcissistic
• 1:48
  personality disorder. Let let let let that sink in.
• 1:53
  I've been in therapy for nine years, right?
• 1:57
  Masking and this is what I learned in therapy.
• 2:00
  Masking like she described described plain pretend.
• 2:04
  It's literally a trauma response, right?
• 2:06
  I'm not saying, again, I'm not saying that her parents are
• 2:08
  narcissists or she has some type of abuse because trauma could be
• 2:10
  just neglect, trauma could be just not being heard and stuff
• 2:12
  like that, right? It's how your brain processes
• 2:15
  it. So it trauma's a response in NPD
• 2:19
  and BPD, which are similar, right?
• 2:21
  They're both close to B personality disorders, but
• 2:23
  they're not the same thing. In NPD and BPD, you learn that
• 2:28
  your true self, who you authentically are deep down, who
• 2:31
  you really want to be isn't necessarily safe or wanted,
• 2:36
  right? You learn that who you really
• 2:38
  are gets you might get you in trouble or people don't like you
• 2:41
  or get you bullied or something like that, right?
• 2:44
  So it doesn't have to be home trauma.
• 2:46
  You can go to school and get bullied and stuff like that for
• 2:48
  being who you actually are, being who you actually want to
• 2:50
  be, right? So you, so you know that it's
• 2:53
  not wanted. So what you do to protect
• 2:56
  yourself, what you do to survive in an instant, you build a false
• 3:00
  self. You build a false self to get
• 3:05
  by, to survive. You pretend to like things that
• 3:08
  you don't like. You don't like butter squash,
• 3:11
  but you like Mama. This squash is busting, busting.
• 3:17
  I think it's busting like busting.
• 3:19
  This squash is busting No one damn way You don't like butter
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  squash, right? This is a this is an obscure
• 3:27
  example, but that's how it goes. All right, so Doja did it so
• 3:32
  well that she became a superstar.
• 3:34
  I'm not saying her personality is fake or whatever who she is
• 3:37
  and whatnot, but she masked and she said she just coming out
• 3:40
  with it. So she's been masking a long
• 3:41
  time. Did she been masking in public?
• 3:43
  She said it. She just would have described
• 3:44
  masking is not Hey, I'm not calling her evil anything like
• 3:47
  that for masking because I'm not saying she's a bad person
• 3:50
  because you you can mask and be an amazing person, right?
• 3:52
  She seemed like she got a kind of soul.
• 3:54
  I don't like say, I don't see much of her online or whatnot.
• 3:56
  This just came across my timeline.
• 3:58
  Well, somebody sent it to me and whatnot, but she said the engine
• 4:03
  finally burned out. She said she was tired.
• 4:08
  She tired of pretending and good for her because so, and the
• 4:12
  reason why she got tired of pretending because I guess she
• 4:14
  saw Chapel Roan do something and it just inspired her.
• 4:18
  But we're going to, we're going to tackle that later.
• 4:20
  What I'm going to do now is talk about the differences in MPD and
• 4:24
  BPD when it comes to getting validation or surviving or
• 4:27
  supply, right? I did another video directly
• 4:31
  referencing MPD and BPD very recently on my YouTube channel.
• 4:34
  So make sure you go check that out.
• 4:35
  It's literally MPD versus BPD on my YouTube channel.
• 4:38
  So when it comes to the differences, right?
• 4:42
  Emotional dysregulation can be similar, right?
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  But when narc why narcissists use the mask to get admiration
• 4:51
  supply get narcissistic supply y'all hear that turn right
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  narcissist mask to get narcissistic supply BPD or
• 4:57
  borderline personality disorder. They mask is like the mask is
• 5:01
  often about avoiding abandonment or trying to fit in.
• 5:05
  She said it, she said it herself.
• 5:07
  Like she has avoided confrontations and stuff like
• 5:11
  that sometimes because she doesn't want to be viewed a
• 5:12
  certain type of way and that's what happens.
• 5:15
  This is what happens when you get in toxic relationship
• 5:16
  dynamics as well. If you have BPD and you get in
• 5:18
  toxic relationship, it's very difficult to leave those
• 5:20
  relationships. So sometimes when y'all see
• 5:22
  somebody struggling to leave a relationship where they're
• 5:24
  getting beaten, cheated on, threats to damn near have their
• 5:29
  life taken, they might have some.
• 5:30
  There might be an inspection of BPD.
• 5:32
  Right? So narcissist used masking to
• 5:36
  get supply, BBD used it to survive, to avoid abandonment
• 5:41
  and whatnot, to try to fit in. But both come from a place of
• 5:44
  deep internal pain. We're both hurting inside,
• 5:47
  right? We are both hurting.
• 5:48
  We are both feeling it inside and whatnot.
• 5:50
  And that sucks. But this is where it come from.
• 5:52
  This is the place that it comes from, you know, and she also
• 5:55
  described the agony. She said it's she's described,
• 5:59
  she used the word it's agonizing having this personality disorder
• 6:02
  and it is, it is. Let me be just break the mask.
• 6:09
  Let me break the 4th wall for you.
• 6:11
  All right. It is very difficult when you
• 6:14
  feel like you're out of control, right when you feel like you
• 6:16
  know the difference between right and wrong, you know who
• 6:18
  you really are, but you feel like you have to push it down so
• 6:21
  you not you don't get judged, so you don't get publicly
• 6:24
  embarrassed, so you don't get cancelled and whatnot.
• 6:27
  It's very difficult. And like I said, those guys has
• 6:30
  has instances where she's kind of, I guess she's or like men
• 6:34
  counsel or whatever for certain things, I guess.
• 6:36
  But that happens. Yeah.
• 6:38
  So the agony, like she used the word because it hurts inside.
• 6:43
  Like BPD is often called like, you know, I've had somebody, one
• 6:48
  of my friends describe having BPD is like having an internal
• 6:52
  third degree burn, right? Emotional third degree burns and
• 6:56
  everything hurts more than it should be.
• 6:58
  So because you're so attacked, you're so in tune with your
• 7:01
  emotions. Your your emotions are flowing
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  like a damn raging river. Like it's very hard and very
• 7:06
  difficult to just have peace in the find stillness.
• 7:10
  It's very difficult to do that. Like even for me as a diagnosed
• 7:14
  narcissist, it's very hard to meditate because I can't shut my
• 7:16
  mind off because my thoughts are running like a damn raging
• 7:19
  river. They absolutely are.
• 7:21
  And this happened so much right here y'all it's happening so
• 7:23
  much. I feel I feel for when I see the
• 7:25
  video she's like agonizing. Me too girl even though I have
• 7:28
  NPD not a BPD me too. And yes you can have both some
• 7:33
  people do one of my friends the bat wolf, he is diagnosed
• 7:36
  narcissist and he has borderline personality disorder.
• 7:38
  His girlfriend has BPD. They're very very unique
• 7:41
  relationship so shout out to them Cammy and Steve shout out
• 7:44
  to you. But the reason all this came to
• 7:47
  a head is because Doja my mind went Blake had Doja said she saw
• 7:54
  Chapel Ron and it inspired her, right?
• 7:57
  Doja saw Chaperon Like being uncomfortable and honest with
• 8:03
  fans and paparazzi for someone with a personality disorder.
• 8:08
  Seeing someone be real, seeing someone be authentic, seeing
• 8:11
  someone be comfortable, being uncomfortable, seeing someone
• 8:14
  without seeing somebody without a mask.
• 8:17
  Man, that could be terrified as hell.
• 8:19
  But it could also be inspiring. It could be both.
• 8:22
  You could be, Oh my goodness, she did else.
• 8:24
  I'm afraid to do that, but I want to do that.
• 8:27
  You see how it works right there?
• 8:28
  You can both be afraid and want to do something at the same
• 8:31
  time. So it it crazy that was I guess
• 8:34
  she saw chaperone doing it and she was like, it gave Doja
• 8:37
  permission to stop lying to herself to stop being like I got
• 8:40
  to I got to be done and hide. She was truly inspired by
• 8:44
  chaperone and she made sure that she said, Hey, I'm not
• 8:46
  diagnosing chaperone with BBD because who knows, right?
• 8:50
  But she said her interaction with the public and paparazzi
• 8:54
  and not just and resellers or whatever inspired her to stop
• 8:59
  masking as much to try to be the real authentic Dojo, which is
• 9:03
  going to be an interesting thing to see, right, when she actually
• 9:06
  continues to grow or not, because she's still super young.
• 9:08
  So being done with the mask is very, very important.
• 9:12
  So shout out to her for wanting to be done with the mask.
• 9:14
  But it's a process, right? Right.
• 9:20
  I feel like people just like just stop, just stop doing it.
• 9:22
  You can't, like you can't. Your thoughts are going to flow.
• 9:24
  Your mind is going just stop being sick, stop coughing.
• 9:28
  You know what I'm saying? Recovery isn't just about like
• 9:35
  medication, right? Or therapy or being put under or
• 9:38
  a grip. A gripping sock vacation is not
• 9:40
  about that, right? It's about the eight-year
• 9:43
  process of eight-year process of unlearning the lies you told
• 9:46
  yourself. Doja is starting to doing that,
• 9:49
  doing that work in the public. And she said it's an 8 year
• 9:50
  process and she's been in therapy for years.
• 9:52
  And I don't know how long she's actually been clinically
• 9:55
  diagnosed, but she came out and just said, hey, I'm, I'm dealing
• 9:57
  with BBD and she's probably she, she said she just got diagnosed,
• 10:01
  but you don't just when you get diagnosed, you've had it for
• 10:04
  years, right? When I got diagnosed as a
• 10:06
  narcissist at 32, I, it wasn't just like I started being a
• 10:09
  narcissist at 32. No, I was a narcissist my entire
• 10:12
  life, right? At least from my, my first
• 10:15
  sentient days, like 8-9 years old, right?
• 10:18
  I was narcissist at a very young age.
• 10:20
  I didn't just start being a narcissist once I got diagnosed.
• 10:22
  So she didn't start having BBD once she got diagnosed, right?
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  That's not how it works. That's literally not how it
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  works. So shout out to her for wanting
• 10:30
  to be authentic, wanting to be real, wanting to be show the
• 10:33
  world that you can do all of this and be authentic with
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  yourself. You can take the mask off
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  unless, unless behind that mask. And this is not the Dojo right
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  here, right? Unless behind that mask, you are
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  evil bastard. Keep it on.
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  If you're evil bastard behind that mask and you just hate
• 10:49
  people and you want to destroy the world, keep your damn mask
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  on. Don't unmask.
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  Keep that shit on for the rest of your life.
• 10:56
  Don't just come here and destroy the world and be a horrible
• 10:59
  person. Just like I'm unmasking too.
• 11:01
  I'm going to destroy the world. Don't don't pinky, don't look,
• 11:03
  don't pinky in the brain this thing this damn thing y'all
• 11:06
  please don't pinky in the brain this please do not pinky in the
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  brain this please Lord God. Oh my goodness anyways, y'all, I
• 11:17
  really appreciate y'all tuning in.
• 11:18
  I really appreciate y'all watching this episode.
• 11:20
  Shout out to Doja cat for you know coming out and saying that,
• 11:23
  because you can see in the comment section on her TikTok
• 11:25
  that people are inspired. There are people there's young
• 11:27
  ladies in there. I have BPD too.
• 11:29
  Oh my goodness. You get this is going to help me
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  out. This is going to help me out So
• 11:35
  so shout out to her. Go on to make sure you hit the
• 11:39
  subscribe button. Also check out mental
• 11:41
  illness.net for all my 10 ones, my coaching, everything is
• 11:44
  available at mentalillness.net. I appreciate you so much.
• 11:48
  I'm so grateful for you, thankful for you and it's always
• 11:49
  always, always been doing. This is out peace.