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Trusting God In the Waiting with Tana Johnston · Grace for My Home | Christian Women, Growing in Faith

1:13
Audrey: Hi, friend.
1:13
Audrey: Welcome to Grace for My Home with Audrey McCracken.
1:17
Audrey: I'm Audrey, and it's so good to be back with you again this week.
1:20
Audrey: About a month ago, I had a guest on the podcast, Tana Johnston.
1:26
Audrey: Tana is a spirit-led life coach and she helps women get out of survival mode.
1:32
Audrey: It was so much fun talking with Tana.
1:35
Audrey: She is a blessing and she has a wonderful message for women.
1:39
Audrey: This week I want to share with you another interview that we did.
1:44
Audrey: I was on her podcast around the same time.
1:47
Audrey: Her podcast is Ride Rope Rodeo.
1:50
Audrey: Doesn't that sound like fun?
1:52
Audrey: It is.
1:52
Audrey: It's full of life, just like Tana.
1:54
Audrey: And I was I'm going to share with you this week our interview, and I think you enjoy it.
2:01
Audrey: It's about trusting God when you don't have all the answers and what it looks like to stay faithful in a season of waiting.
2:09
Audrey: So I know that it'll be an encouragement for you.
2:12
Audrey: I'm also going to drop Tana's information in the show notes so you can get in touch with her.
2:18
Audrey: She is a great resource if you are in survival mode.
2:21
Audrey: She's very encouraging and she's very down-to-earth and real.
2:24
Audrey: And I hope you enjoy this talk that we had as much as I did.
2:28
Audrey: God bless.
2:30
Tana Johnston: If you've ever found yourself in a season where you're doing all the right things, you're praying, you're showing up, you're trying to trust God, but deep down you feel stuck.
2:41
Tana Johnston: Or maybe even wondering, God, are you hearing me?
2:45
Tana Johnston: Are you moving?
2:46
Tana Johnston: This episode is for you.
2:49
Tana Johnston: We're talking about that in between space, the waiting, the wrestling, the moments where life doesn't look how you thought it would.
2:58
Tana Johnston: And you're trying to hold on to faith while everything feels uncertain.
3:02
Tana Johnston: I'm joined by a very special guest who brings so much wisdom, honesty, and encouragement to this topic.
3:09
Tana Johnston: We're diving into what it really looks like to trust God when the answer hasn't come yet, and how to let go of control when everything in you wants to hold on tighter, and how to stay anchored in your faith even during survival mode seasons.
3:25
Tana Johnston: So grab that coffee, girl, and let's get after it.
3:29
Tana Johnston: I help faith-built women get out of survival mode and step into spirit-led living, where abundance isn't just something they desire, but something they actually experience.
4:09
Tana Johnston: If you are ready to get off the daily roller coaster ride of your emotions, untangle the chaos, and realign with who God created you to be, it's time to press the pause button, find the exit sign, and step out of survival mode with a spirit-led reset.
4:25
Tana Johnston: This is where you go from chaos to confidence, from worry to worship, from exhausted to energized, so that you can finally live with purpose and clarity.
4:37
Tana Johnston: What do you say, girl?
4:39
Tana Johnston: Let's do this.
4:40
Tana Johnston: Hey girl, real quick before we jump into today's episode, I want to ask you something.
4:47
Tana Johnston: Are you tired of feeling like you're stuck in survival mode again?
4:51
Tana Johnston: Like you want to show up differently in your life, but by the end of the day, you're exhausted, confused, or discouraged, unsure of where to even start, and in desperate need of a reboot.
5:04
Tana Johnston: Because here's the truth your life doesn't change just because you want it to.
5:09
Tana Johnston: It changes when you learn how to win the day you're in.
5:12
Tana Johnston: Small wins over time create a life that you love.
5:17
Tana Johnston: And that's exactly why I've created my mini course, Win the Day.
5:20
Tana Johnston: Inside this two-week program, I walk you through simple, powerful rhythms like wake up and worship, shifting into proper perspective, committing to showing up, staying consistent, and finding joy in the small wins.
5:34
Tana Johnston: So you can start stacking one good day on top of another good day.
5:39
Tana Johnston: Because that's how real transformation happens.
5:42
Tana Johnston: One day at a time.
5:44
Tana Johnston: And if you're in a season where you're thinking, I need more than just a reboot, I need support, clarity, and a breakthrough, then my one-on-one reset coaching might be exactly what you need.
5:56
Tana Johnston: Together, we'll uncover what's been draining you, realign your priorities, renew your mind, and build a life-giving rhythm that actually works for you.
6:07
Tana Johnston: So if you're ready to stop spinning your wheels and finally move forward with intention, check the show notes after the episode.
6:15
Tana Johnston: Hey there, welcome back to the show.
6:18
Tana Johnston: I am so excited about this conversation today.
6:22
Tana Johnston: I have a guest with me, Audrey McCracken.
6:25
Tana Johnston: She's a Christian writer, host of Grace for My Home podcast, which is how I found her, where she encourages women, especially moms, to grow in faith, deepen their prayer life, and walk closely with Jesus in the middle of the everyday life.
6:42
Tana Johnston: Through her podcast and writing, Audrey shares honest, faith-filled messages that help women move from feeling stuck to experiencing real spiritual growth.
6:53
Tana Johnston: She's the author of Covered in Prayer, 31 Prayers to Cover You and Your Children in God's grace.
7:01
Tana Johnston: And she is passionate about reminding women that they don't have to do this alone.
7:05
Tana Johnston: God is with them and He is faithfully at work in their homes and in the hearts of their children.
7:12
Tana Johnston: And I found you, Audrey, based off the podcast.
7:16
Tana Johnston: Welcome to the show.
7:17
Tana Johnston: I love your show, by the way, but tell our listeners a little bit about yourself.
7:22
Audrey: Well, first, thank you so much for having me.
7:25
Audrey: That's the most, that's the biggest title that I have right now.
7:31
Audrey: I'm a mom and and I have three boys.
7:34
Audrey: I have three sons, and I'm a wife.
7:37
Audrey: And my husband and I, we've been in ministry since before we were married.
7:42
Audrey: So we've been together and serving the Lord for probably 30 years now.
7:47
Audrey: And I just I love the Lord, but when I had children, it was like a wake-up call.
7:55
Audrey: It was like I thought I was really spiritual.
7:58
Audrey: And then I had kids.
7:59
Audrey: And it's like a lot to learn.
8:02
Audrey: I love that.
8:04
Audrey: So it was like I kind of started over.
8:06
Audrey: I was like, Lord, I'm obviously not as spiritually mature as I thought I was.
8:12
Tana Johnston: So I lied, I need you.
8:14
Tana Johnston: Yes.
8:15
Audrey: Yes, exactly.
8:16
Audrey: And so so that, and so when when my children started growing older and they needed me less and less, you know, I'm still here and they're still here.
8:25
Audrey: They still all live at home with us now, but they need me less and less.
8:29
Audrey: They're in high, we have two in high school, one in college now.
8:32
Audrey: And I I wanted to do something to encourage those moms that were like me, that their kids, when their kids were little and they were like, Lord, I really need help.
8:41
Audrey: And I thought podcasts were like a lifeline for me.
8:44
Audrey: I had my favorites and and I looked forward to it every week.
8:48
Audrey: And I thought I want to be able to encourage people the way those ladies encouraged me.
8:53
Audrey: And so I thought this will give me something to do to be helpful and and creative.
8:57
Audrey: And and it has it has been.
8:59
Audrey: It has been a wonderful adventure.
9:01
Audrey: I've learned so much and I've got to meet cool people like you.
9:05
Audrey: And so that's what I do now.
9:07
Audrey: I podcast, I write, I I speak when given the opportunity.
9:11
Tana Johnston: Yeah.
9:12
Audrey: And and most of all, I try to to live out the things that I talk about, the things that that I speak on.
9:18
Tana Johnston: Yeah, that is amazing.
9:20
Tana Johnston: And the podcast is absolutely, it was like when I found it, it's like salve for my soul being a mom and in that season also.
9:31
Tana Johnston: And I shared with you a little bit about our situation and our boys, and we have two boys, so we're both both boy moms.
9:38
Tana Johnston: And just how it did encourage me.
9:41
Tana Johnston: Like you said, I listened to a lot of podcasts, and I just that encouragement and just that direction and that just a surety that you have and trusting God is what we're gonna talk about today.
9:54
Tana Johnston: A lot of what we're gonna do.
9:55
Tana Johnston: Can you share with our listeners like maybe a season where it felt like God was late in your situation?
10:02
Tana Johnston: Or maybe that how do you hold on to your faith when everything feels hard?
10:07
Tana Johnston: Even as a mom or even just as a Christian woman who is like in survival mode, which I talk about obviously on my podcast.
10:14
Tana Johnston: So, like, can you share a season in your life where you felt like that?
10:19
Audrey: Well, I've had many and I've had many, and and I think that's part of the process.
10:25
Audrey: I think that's the by design is it's it's often through the hard seasons when we grow the most and we question God the most.
10:36
Audrey: And one one one that comes to mind that I thought, God, are you am I hearing from you?
10:44
Audrey: Have you know, and is this really you?
10:46
Audrey: When my kids were younger, and the my oldest was about four years old, and I had quit my job to be able to stay home with them, and I was thankful that I was able to do that.
10:57
Audrey: It had it it I wanted to for many years, but when my oldest became four, I was able to do that.
11:04
Audrey: And I was so thankful.
11:06
Audrey: But the Lord started putting on my heart this desire to homeschool my children, and I can't explain it.
11:12
Audrey: I had never had that desire.
11:14
Audrey: It wasn't like I've always dreamed of it, but the more I prayed about it, the more I thought about it, I was so impressed in my spirit that this is what I want you to do.
11:24
Audrey: And only maybe two or three other times in my life have I felt such a strong calling to something.
11:31
Audrey: And I thought this is obviously it's the Lord.
11:34
Audrey: This is God.
11:35
Audrey: So if God's calling me to do this, then my husband will be in agreement.
11:40
Audrey: So I went to him and I will say he's in public education, like he is a high school principal.
11:47
Audrey: And at and so I went to him at the time he was a he was an assistant principal, but he was trying to become a principal and he was applying and and and at that time for a principalship.
11:58
Audrey: And he said no.
12:00
Audrey: He said, I don't think that's the Lord.
12:03
Audrey: Don't have any desire for us to be a homeschool family.
12:06
Audrey: I mean, you know, look what I do.
12:08
Audrey: And he said, I really don't, I don't see that.
12:11
Audrey: And I said, Well, I feel it very strongly.
12:14
Audrey: Would you pray?
12:15
Audrey: Would you pray about it?
12:16
Audrey: And he said, Yes, I will pray.
12:18
Audrey: And I said, Well, that's all I can ask.
12:20
Audrey: Yep.
12:20
Audrey: So a couple weeks later, and I feel it so strong.
12:24
Audrey: I mean, like, I know, I see it, like I see it.
12:26
Audrey: And a few weeks later, I came to him, have you prayed?
12:29
Audrey: Yes, I've prayed, but I still don't think it's it's what we need to do.
12:33
Audrey: And I was like, Oh no, this can't be.
12:36
Audrey: And I thought he's really not prayed.
12:40
Audrey: That's what I'm thinking.
12:41
Audrey: I'm thinking he hasn't if he prayed, he would know.
12:44
Audrey: And like, pray with me.
12:46
Audrey: Let's do this together.
12:47
Audrey: Yes.
12:48
Audrey: I'm like, no.
12:49
Audrey: So I I went back a few weeks later and I was and I was like, have have you prayed about it?
12:54
Audrey: And he said, Audrey, I have prayed about it, and I just don't see it.
12:59
Audrey: Now, here's the thing my children have two parents, and I want us to be in agreement.
13:05
Audrey: Like, I don't want to pull one way and he's pulling the other way, but I felt it so strong, and I prayed and I even fasted, like I fasted, and then it for 40 days, and this this may sound silly to many people, but I mean, I love coffee.
13:21
Audrey: I actually opened and run a coffee shop for my church right now.
13:25
Audrey: I mean, I love coffee for 40 days.
13:27
Audrey: I fasted coffee, and that may seem silly, but it meant something to me.
13:31
Audrey: I don't know that I could do it, so it I was I was like, God is, and and I wasn't, and I want to be clear, I wasn't trying to manipulate my husband.
13:39
Audrey: I haven't to hear, I'm waiting to hear from God and I wanted us to be in agreement.
13:45
Audrey: So anyway, I don't mean to drag it out, but it took a long time.
13:50
Audrey: And finally, I went to him and I was like, listen, I feel this so strongly on my heart.
13:54
Audrey: I feel like God has called me to do this.
13:57
Audrey: I'm not making this up.
13:58
Audrey: It's not something I'm you know, I want you if you don't see it, you don't see it.
14:02
Audrey: But what do you think?
14:03
Audrey: And he said, Audrey, I don't see it.
14:05
Audrey: And so I had to go to the Lord and say, Lord, I feel like you've called me to do this.
14:09
Audrey: I'm willing to do this, I've prayed about it, but I can't make this happen.
14:16
Audrey: And if I continue, I'm gonna bring a divide between me and my husband.
14:20
Audrey: And I felt it like because I was getting upset with him for not hearing from the Lord what I heard from the Lord.
14:26
Audrey: Yes, yes.
14:27
Audrey: And so I said, I lay this down, Lord.
14:30
Audrey: I lay it down.
14:31
Audrey: If you want me to do this, you know I'm willing, you know my heart, but I'm not gonna continue and try to bring division.
14:39
Audrey: I'm just you've got to speak.
14:40
Audrey: You know, and I my prayer at that time, and it was I was reading one morning, and the Lord brought to me Mary and Joseph.
14:46
Audrey: You know, God called Mary to carry the son of God, to raise the son of God, and she couldn't do that on her own.
14:54
Audrey: So God spoke to Joseph.
14:56
Audrey: Yes, and I said, Lord, the same God who spoke to Mary spoke to Joseph.
15:02
Audrey: You have to speak, he's not hearing me.
15:06
Audrey: And I let it go.
15:07
Audrey: And I said, I will do whatever, you know, whatever.
15:11
Audrey: If he's not in agreement, I'm not pushing the subject anymore.
15:14
Audrey: And I let it go.
15:15
Audrey: And it was hard because I still had that desire and that I felt like it was God.
15:20
Audrey: Well, a few months later and months, like I didn't say a word about it.
15:23
Audrey: I let it go.
15:24
Audrey: I said, We're going in this direction.
15:26
Audrey: I asked him, Do you know where David, our oldest son, I said, Do you know where his immunization record is?
15:32
Audrey: And he said, No, why?
16:14
Audrey: I said, Well, I've got to go register him for kindergarten.
16:17
Audrey: And it's that time.
16:18
Audrey: And he stopped and he said, Audrey, I want you to homeschool him.
16:23
Audrey: And I said, What are you talking about?
16:25
Audrey: And he said, Well, I I've prayed about it.
16:27
Audrey: He said, I really feel like the Lord spoke to me and said, Let her do this.
16:31
Audrey: And it was God.
16:33
Audrey: It wasn't me pushing, but I had to give it up.
16:36
Audrey: You know what I'm saying?
16:37
Audrey: Like I had to lay it down and stop trying to say, Don't you see this is God?
16:42
Audrey: And and I was very disappointed.
16:45
Audrey: Like, I'm like, God, how will I ever know that you're speaking to me when I thought you spoke to me, but apparently you didn't speak to me.
16:52
Audrey: I know that's a long answer to your short question, but it was it was a trying time for me.
16:59
Audrey: It was a time when I was trying to learn how to hear the Lord's voice and at the same time honor and respect my husband and bring peace in our home.
17:06
Tana Johnston: A hundred percent.
17:08
Audrey: So it was it that but God is faithful.
17:11
Audrey: He He is faithful and He has a plan.
17:16
Audrey: And the question is, Lord, what what's your plan?
17:18
Audrey: Let us get in your plan and and not try to push our plan or Lord, what's your plan?
17:24
Audrey: Let us see the big picture, Lord.
17:26
Tana Johnston: I can imagine that had to have been such a hard time because the the scripture that came to my mind when you were saying that, I mean, it gave me goosebumps is I'm I mean, often like most of us here in the audience, like we most of us have spouses, like we're married and we have these discussions all the time, and maybe we're not on the same page.
17:47
Tana Johnston: And then you're like, what came to my mind was, God, am I here to please you or am I here to please man?
17:54
Tana Johnston: And like that submitting to the Lord, especially when you feel it as strongly as you did, but also yet being called to submit to your husband.
18:03
Tana Johnston: And like you said, you wanted to be on the same page and you didn't want it to cause a division in your marriage, which I think so much of the time we can all relate to that.
18:12
Tana Johnston: Like you, we feel so strongly about this, but then they don't.
18:18
Tana Johnston: And and so then, like you said, we have a tendency at times to want to like push it on them.
18:24
Tana Johnston: You know, why can't you see this?
18:26
Tana Johnston: It's so exactly like why aren't you on the same page as me?
18:31
Audrey: Yes, yes, I'm hearing from God and you need to get on the with the program.
18:36
Audrey: Do you know of after that it's it's and I, you know, you see God in it because when I when he gave me the green light and I did, you know, we were gonna homeschool, uh, probably about three to four years into it, homeschooling was the hardest thing I had ever done.
18:54
Audrey: Amen.
18:55
Audrey: If you ask me like now, I love homeschooling.
18:59
Audrey: Like I'm a homeschool advocate.
19:02
Audrey: But the first three or four years, I was it was so hard.
19:06
Audrey: I'm an introvert, I crave time alone.
19:10
Audrey: There was no time alone.
19:11
Audrey: I was insecure about my ability to homeschool.
19:15
Audrey: Who am I to teach my children to read?
19:18
Audrey: You know, I don't know what I'm doing.
19:20
Audrey: I'm gonna ruin my children.
19:22
Audrey: And so many times I wanted to quit.
19:24
Audrey: And the Lord reminded me of that season, and he said, This is what you prayed for.
19:29
Audrey: Oh my goodness, that just gave me goosebumps.
19:33
Audrey: But it's it was that pressing through that gave me the confidence to continue.
19:39
Audrey: You know what I'm saying?
19:40
Tana Johnston: I do, I do.
19:41
Tana Johnston: It makes me think of like I was just gonna ask you when it felt so uncertain for those number of months.
19:49
Tana Johnston: You know, I think we all go through that where we're like wrestling with something, you know, in our life, either a struggle or a pain point or a decision or hearing from God.
19:58
Tana Johnston: Like, that's what did it actually look like for you to trust God in those months when it was uncertain, like you didn't have an answer, right?
20:08
Tana Johnston: You felt so strongly about it this way.
20:11
Tana Johnston: He did not.
20:12
Tana Johnston: And so for that series, like, what did that look like?
20:15
Tana Johnston: Like, like in the middle of the mess, what did it actually look like to trust God for you?
20:21
Audrey: Well, I prayed, okay.
20:23
Audrey: And when I say I prayed, I prayed specific prayers, like I wrote them down.
20:28
Audrey: Philippians 4, 6 says, Don't be anxious about anything, but pray about everything and let your supplication with thanksgiving, let your request be made known to God.
20:42
Audrey: And that's what I was doing.
20:43
Audrey: I was letting my request be made known to God.
20:45
Audrey: Okay.
20:46
Audrey: Yes.
20:46
Audrey: And then it says, and the peace of God, which surpasses your understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
20:54
Audrey: But see, it doesn't say that the answer to that prayer is going to bring you peace.
21:00
Audrey: It says just putting it in the Lord's hand is what brings you peace.
21:04
Audrey: So you can have peace before the answer comes.
21:07
Audrey: And see, when I finally laid it down and I said, here it is, Lord, uh we're not at the end.
21:13
Audrey: I I don't know the answer.
21:15
Audrey: I'm in that that in-between time.
21:17
Audrey: But you said that me just putting it at your feet is going to bring peace.
21:24
Audrey: So I I laid it down and I kept laying it down.
21:27
Audrey: And yes, it would come back up and I'd get anxious and I'd be like, but Lord, and and I'd say, no, no, I've laid that down, Lord, it's at your feet.
21:35
Audrey: And God, it's those times that you're you learn faith.
21:40
Audrey: A lot of times the uh the situation, yes, it's an important situation, but God's doing more in you than he is the situation.
21:50
Audrey: He's more concerned about our, he's more concerned about building our character than he is about our comfort.
21:59
Audrey: And that in between time is when we decide what kind of person we're gonna be.
22:03
Audrey: I love that.
22:05
Audrey: It's like I'm gonna be the person who who trusts God even when I don't understand everything.
22:11
Audrey: I'm gonna be the kind of person I'm gonna be at peace, even when I don't know the answers.
22:17
Audrey: And and guys, this is really easy for me to say.
22:20
Audrey: It's easy now, right?
22:22
Audrey: You look back and oh yeah, this well, God was teaching me something, but in the middle of it is is where you know God is really doing the work.
22:33
Tana Johnston: Yes, it makes me think about like we talk a lot about resetting on my podcast, like let allowing God in the spirit to to reset you.
22:43
Tana Johnston: And I can own like this is amazing because, like you said, he cares more about your character than necessarily your comfort.
22:52
Tana Johnston: And I think that sometimes when we are trying to reset and we're feel like things are unraveling and we're grappling for things and we're stuck in those seasons of survival, we it's it's important to remember that God still has it, He's not just letting everything fall apart.
23:11
Tana Johnston: And I think that the biggest difference is prayer.
23:16
Tana Johnston: Like you said, it is so important to just talk to the father about the situation.
23:23
Tana Johnston: And like you said, the comfort doesn't come in the outcome, yeah, it comes in the laying it down.
23:29
Audrey: Yes, we can have peace.
23:30
Audrey: And I when I finally did resign that God, you're gonna have to speak to my husband if you want me to do this.
23:36
Audrey: Yes.
23:37
Audrey: A peace came on me.
23:39
Audrey: It was like, it's not up to me to make this happen.
23:42
Audrey: Willing, Lord, I'm willing, but I can't make this happen.
23:46
Audrey: You're gonna have to do this.
23:47
Audrey: And that peace where before I was striving and fasting and praying and But I had to do that to get to that point.
23:56
Audrey: I had to do the praying through.
23:59
Audrey: I had to do the fasting.
24:00
Audrey: I had to do that to get myself to a point where I was, it's in God's hands now.
24:05
Audrey: He's heard my prayer.
24:07
Audrey: Sometimes we we know we're not happy, we just don't know what we want.
24:13
Audrey: And that's why the Lord has been teaching me even now.
24:17
Audrey: Write down your prayers, Audrey.
24:19
Audrey: Be specific so that when I answer them, I answer them.
24:23
Audrey: Yes.
24:24
Tana Johnston: Oh my gosh, that's amazing.
24:26
Audrey: Well, because sometimes we just have this vague, I'm just not happy where I am, but I don't know what I want.
24:31
Audrey: I just I'm not, I just know it's not this.
24:34
Audrey: Yeah.
24:35
Audrey: And so the Lord has just been teaching me, you write them down, pray those prayers.
24:40
Audrey: Not that you're trying to tell God what to do.
24:43
Audrey: That's the hard part, is when he says no.
24:45
Audrey: Sometimes he does speak to us, he just says not no or not now.
24:49
Audrey: But the process of going to him is building your faith, it's building your relationship with him, and you get a track record because now I can go back through my journal and see, God, you answered that prayer.
25:01
Audrey: And and that makes it easier, not easy, but it makes it easier for the next crisis or situation or remaining the thing that you do looking for.
25:13
Audrey: Yeah.
25:13
Tana Johnston: Yes, I do.
25:15
Tana Johnston: That I always I talk a lot about encountering the Lord.
25:20
Tana Johnston: And it's in those encounters when I feel like when we are in the struggle or we're unsure, like you said, and so much of the time we're like, well, this isn't the way that I want it.
25:31
Tana Johnston: But then you're like, we but we just meditate on that part, like we meditate on the the problem or the like you wanting to homeschool the boys and it wasn't happening and you didn't have your husband's blessing.
25:42
Tana Johnston: So then we meditate on that part.
25:44
Tana Johnston: And so sometimes we we get so tunnel visioned that we miss what God's doing in us, which really is the bigger picture in that moment.
25:54
Tana Johnston: So I love how you said you had to pray and you had to fast, like you had to go through the process, right?
26:01
Tana Johnston: To get you to where you surrendered it to where I think as women, I talk about this too.
26:06
Tana Johnston: Like we're God created us as helpmates.
26:09
Tana Johnston: He created Eve as a helper, right?
26:12
Tana Johnston: To Adam.
26:12
Tana Johnston: And so I think we all have that in that in us.
26:15
Tana Johnston: I do think that is a common woman trait, is that we were created to be helpmates.
26:20
Tana Johnston: But then it with that is the really hard part of not controlling the helping.
26:25
Tana Johnston: We always want to control what we think that should look like.
26:29
Tana Johnston: So, what would you say to someone, to a woman right now listening who is like, I'm doing all those right things.
26:36
Tana Johnston: I'm praying, I'm fasting, I'm checking the boxes, I'm going to church, I'm doing all the things, I'm showing up, but I am stuck in this struggle.
26:47
Tana Johnston: I'm stuck.
26:48
Tana Johnston: I don't know if God's hearing my prayers.
26:50
Tana Johnston: I don't know if he sees me.
26:52
Tana Johnston: What would you say to her today?
26:55
Audrey: That's really good.
26:56
Audrey: That's really good.
26:58
Audrey: The the delay is part of the process.
27:01
Audrey: Oh, I love it.
27:02
Audrey: And the delay between when you pray and when you see God move, that's part of the process.
27:09
Audrey: And he wants relationship with you.
27:13
Audrey: Okay, he's using all these situations, all these things that seem impossible or hard or more difficult than they should be.
27:20
Audrey: He's using those things to draw you to him.
27:24
Audrey: Yeah, and I don't like it.
27:26
Audrey: I mean, I don't like that process.
27:28
Audrey: Uncomfortable.
27:30
Audrey: But it helps to know that that he's there, he's not left you.
27:36
Audrey: He promised he'd never leave you, he'd never forsake you.
27:40
Audrey: And that's part of faith is holding on to that.
27:43
Audrey: And and he wants you to enjoy him.
27:46
Audrey: Okay.
27:47
Audrey: It's not that that the problem isn't a problem.
27:50
Audrey: It's not that that it's not, it's I don't want to belittle the problem.
27:53
Audrey: I mean, you know, a lot of ladies are struggling with real problems, but he wants you to enjoy him and get to know him and trust that he really does want the best for you.
28:07
Audrey: I think sometimes that's where we miss it, is we think if God doesn't do this, if he doesn't do this thing that I'm asking for, then I can't be happy and that I'm gonna miss out.
28:18
Audrey: And part of learning to trust is even if he chooses to go another way, I have to trust that his way is better.
28:26
Tana Johnston: Yes, that is it.
28:27
Tana Johnston: Like we have to trust.
28:29
Tana Johnston: That makes me think of Isaiah, right?
28:30
Tana Johnston: When he says, your ways are higher than my ways and your thoughts are higher than my thoughts.
28:36
Tana Johnston: It's it is that track record, like you called it with walking with him, when you can look back and be like, oh yeah, he was so right in that season.
28:46
Audrey: Thank you, Lord, for not answering my prayer.
28:48
Audrey: Yeah.
28:48
Audrey: Yes, yeah.
28:49
Tana Johnston: Yes, yes.
28:51
Tana Johnston: And knowing in that comes that track record leads us to knowing that when we go through the struggle again, because I mean, you and I, that's why I talk about survival mode, like it's not a one and done.
29:03
Tana Johnston: I'd love it if it was.
29:06
Audrey: Just give me the formula, Lord, and I'll just do the formula.
29:09
Audrey: But you know, exactly.
29:10
Audrey: If he gave us the formula, we wouldn't need him, right?
29:14
Tana Johnston: Exactly.
29:15
Tana Johnston: And that's why I'm like, as I circle that mountain, it's like we gotta have the Holy Spirit that wells up in us to seek that first, right?
29:26
Tana Johnston: Over our own will and desire in the struggle because it's uncomfortable.
29:32
Tana Johnston: Like that's what we, I mean, that's at the end of the day, we get in those survival mode seasons and it's but that's how we trust God.
29:41
Tana Johnston: That's how we learn to build our faith and allow God to work in us instead of being so outcome focused.
29:49
Audrey: Yes, and the struggle.
29:51
Audrey: I wish you could take the struggle away.
29:53
Audrey: I wish we could take the struggle away, but you have to go through the struggle oftentimes, most of the time, you have to go through the struggle to get to the place of rest.
30:02
Audrey: The goal is to get to that place where I know God's got it.
30:06
Audrey: That's why I have to keep bringing things to him because I want to know that he's heard me.
30:10
Audrey: I want to know that he's heard my prayer.
30:12
Tana Johnston: Yes.
30:12
Tana Johnston: And I think that that's just it.
30:13
Tana Johnston: And then we crave response because we just it when we're praying and we're talking to him, like then we just expect an answer almost.
30:22
Tana Johnston: You know what I mean?
30:23
Tana Johnston: And so it's like when the answer doesn't come right away, like in your situation there, it was months later, right?
30:31
Tana Johnston: And then you had totally laid it down and were good with sending your little boy to to kindergarten and gathering up the stuff that was your husband's wish.
30:41
Tana Johnston: And it wasn't until then that God moved.
30:46
Tana Johnston: Yes, and your husband spoke.
30:48
Audrey: Yeah, when I was at peace, when I was I was I was at peace.
30:52
Audrey: I was like, Lord, we're not, I'm I'm not gonna, I'm gonna trust you.
30:57
Audrey: I'm gonna trust you with this.
30:58
Audrey: If not now, maybe later.
31:00
Audrey: Maybe it's not the timing.
31:01
Audrey: Maybe you spoke to me, but it's just not the timing.
31:03
Audrey: Yes.
31:04
Audrey: And I I'm I'm gonna have to rest with that I don't have all the answers and that you do.
31:11
Audrey: Yeah.
31:11
Audrey: And even now, I have teenagers now, and they're those little boys are are all are huge, they're men now.
31:19
Audrey: I have a 20-year-old, 18-year-old, and a 16-year-old.
31:25
Audrey: And and they're they're they're they're they're bigger than me.
31:29
Audrey: All of them are taller than me.
31:30
Audrey: And and I've seen God be faithful.
31:34
Audrey: And even I have one son who he's he's having, he's he's going to prom this week, and he's coming to me, and he's he's had an up up, he's had a roller coaster week.
31:45
Audrey: This didn't go out, and this didn't go.
31:47
Audrey: And one day he come, he came into my bedroom one night when he got off work.
31:51
Audrey: He has a part-time job and he came in my room.
31:53
Audrey: He was ecstatic, and he was you know just so excited about he got his tux, and he's got his he's ordered the flowers, and he's just ecstatic about prom and he's so excited.
32:02
Audrey: And then the next day he didn't do well on a test, and he's like, My life is ruined and everything's horrible.
32:09
Audrey: He's just like with with less than 24 hours, and and it was so funny because I thought, aren't we like that?
32:17
Audrey: I want to tell him, I want to tell him, son, you need to get your emotions together.
32:21
Audrey: You're like, everything's wonderful, everything's horrible.
32:25
Audrey: And I thought, I do that, you know, and so it's okay.
32:29
Audrey: We're gonna go through the struggle, yeah, and we're gonna have hard days, but I think it helps me to remember that I'm in a relationship with God.
32:39
Audrey: Yeah, you know, I'm in He is not just it's he, I'm not just getting my needs met from God, learning about Him, learning how to be His daughter.
32:48
Audrey: He loves me through my ups and downs.
32:50
Audrey: He He knows I'm fickle, you know, he knows I'm He knows that today I feel like everything's falling apart, but tomorrow is gonna be better.
32:59
Audrey: Yeah, and and He loves me anyway, right?
33:02
Audrey: I love my son.
33:04
Audrey: I mean, I see things and I want to say things, and sometimes it's best not to say anything, but God's growing us up, yeah, He is growing us up.
33:15
Tana Johnston: I love that.
33:16
Tana Johnston: So, how can we stay anchored?
33:20
Tana Johnston: I love practical takeaways.
33:23
Tana Johnston: So, how can we stay anchored in trusting God in a reset season, in the struggle, when everything in us wants to take control or run ahead, or like for you, you could have just been like, Well, I'm gonna homeschool them, so get on board or not.
33:43
Tana Johnston: You know what I mean?
33:44
Tana Johnston: Like that's like that whole take control and just run ahead, and like that's not in God's will.
33:50
Tana Johnston: I wanted to.
33:52
Tana Johnston: I that's a that I say that because that's a characteristic of me that God is still working out that whole no, Tana, you're not just gonna do it your way, like I have the way.
34:04
Tana Johnston: I need you to trust me in that.
34:06
Tana Johnston: So, how do we do that?
34:07
Tana Johnston: How do we let go of that welling up in us to take control?
34:13
Tana Johnston: How do we do that?
34:14
Audrey: Oh, it's well, like I said before, write down what you want God to do.
34:21
Audrey: You gotta know what do I want God to do?
34:24
Audrey: Do I just want to make him just Lord make me happy?
34:26
Audrey: I'm just not happy.
34:27
Audrey: No, what write down specifically, Lord.
34:31
Audrey: This is what I need you to do.
34:32
Audrey: Bring it to him.
34:34
Audrey: Sometimes I have, I don't do this all the time, but sometimes I literally put it at his feet.
34:39
Audrey: I'm like, Lord, here is this thing.
34:40
Audrey: It's huge to me, but I know it's not that big to you.
34:43
Audrey: I've put it at your feet and keep bringing it to him, keep bringing it to him.
34:50
Audrey: Go back and look at the things that he's done.
34:53
Audrey: You know, that scripture that I mentioned in Philippians, it says with thanksgiving, you know, let your supplications be known with thanksgiving.
35:01
Audrey: You know, thank him for the things that he's already done.
35:03
Audrey: Yeah, thank God for the things he's going to do.
35:06
Audrey: Well, I don't know how you're gonna work this out, but I trust that you're gonna work it out.
35:10
Audrey: Okay, I trust that in the end you're gonna work it out, and you you gotta hold on.
35:16
Audrey: You gotta hold on.
35:18
Audrey: Sometimes you gotta get with other people to believe with you.
35:21
Tana Johnston: Yes, that's the power of community.
35:24
Audrey: You do you have to have other people who are even if they don't know the answers, they're praying with you, right?
35:32
Audrey: Yes, you you've got to have a community, you've got to have a support system, you got to have somebody who's gonna believe with you, who's gonna encourage you when you're down.
35:44
Audrey: And but you've got but understand that it's about the process, it's about the relationship.
35:51
Audrey: Yes, God wants to take care of the need, but when it's all said and done, you're gonna be closer to him.
35:56
Audrey: Yeah, I don't know if that answered your question.
35:59
Tana Johnston: I don't know that was it because what I was writing down was number one, get specific in our prayers.
36:07
Tana Johnston: I think that has been eye-opening for me today because I'm just like thinking about my own struggle at the moment while you're talking.
36:16
Tana Johnston: And I'm like, I don't know that I've gotten specific with him like that.
36:23
Tana Johnston: And I am a huge advocate of writing your prayers down.
36:27
Tana Johnston: I think there is so much in speaking them out loud and writing them down and just having that open dialogue.
36:33
Tana Johnston: So definitely you did.
36:34
Tana Johnston: And like, number one, get specific about your prayers.
36:38
Tana Johnston: I think prayer is one of those things you and I could have an entire other podcast on prayer because prayer is one of those things that we often either overlook and we talk to everybody else first, or we are so vague in it.
36:55
Tana Johnston: And then I think this, I hear this a lot from women.
36:58
Tana Johnston: Well, I took it to him once, so I don't need to take it to him again.
37:03
Tana Johnston: And you like you said today, no, pray about it over and over and over.
37:08
Tana Johnston: It's not because God forgot, it's not because he's not taking care of it, but it's lifting the burden, like in the verse in Philippians that you're talking about.
37:16
Tana Johnston: It's lifting the burden.
37:18
Tana Johnston: That's what Paul's talking about, like lifting the burden off of our shoulders and out of our chest and giving it back to him because so often we give it and then we take it back, and then we give it and then we take it back.
37:32
Audrey: We're casting our care on him, yes, right?
37:35
Audrey: We're casting it on him and not taking it back because see, yeah, because so often we we take it back.
37:40
Audrey: You know, I I heard somebody say one time, you know, God wants us to be a living sacrifice, but the problem, God wants us to be a living sacrifice, but the problem with the living sacrifice is it keeps crawling off the altar.
37:52
Audrey: The problem is a great way of saying that.
37:57
Audrey: Well, we have to keep putting ourselves back there and say, because I keep wanting to take control and until we can honestly say, God, it is in your hands, it is yours, yeah, it is in your hands.
38:10
Audrey: I hope that this has been helpful for ladies.
38:13
Audrey: I know that it's easy to say trust God, yeah, but it's a process, it's and we grow stronger in that process, and we we learn who God created us to be.
38:26
Audrey: Now, who did God create you to be?
38:28
Audrey: He created you to be a woman of faith, a woman of wisdom, a woman that trusts him, a woman who has who can give faith and encouragement to other people.
38:39
Audrey: Because see, when you go through these things, you will become a resource for other people.
38:44
Tana Johnston: Yeah.
38:44
Tana Johnston: And that's how it really does come full circle.
38:47
Audrey: Yeah, yeah.
38:48
Audrey: And and then it's like you have the faith.
38:50
Audrey: Sometimes you you meet somebody and they need your faith, like they need somebody to believe with them for good things.
38:56
Audrey: Yes.
38:57
Audrey: When you've seen God bring about good things, then you you can you have faith for them.
39:03
Audrey: You can say, God has done this for me, and he will do this for you.
39:07
Audrey: Yes, and we become a resource for people.
39:10
Tana Johnston: Yes, yes, absolutely, absolutely.
39:14
Tana Johnston: Audrey thank you so much for your encouragement today.
39:18
Tana Johnston: This has been amazing.
39:19
Tana Johnston: I love it.
39:21
Tana Johnston: Tell people a little bit about your podcast.
39:24
Tana Johnston: Grace for my home is what it is called.
39:27
Tana Johnston: Like I said, I found it because I was a mom.
39:31
Tana Johnston: All of my audience knows most of the struggle with my boys at this point, but I was that mom who was just in survival mode, just absolutely grappling.
39:41
Tana Johnston: And I love your podcast.
39:43
Tana Johnston: And then also your book, which I don't have, but I'm so excited to get.
39:48
Tana Johnston: Let everybody know about the podcast and where they can listen, and then how to get your book.
39:53
Audrey: Sure.
39:53
Audrey: My podcast, like you said, it's Grace for My Home.
39:56
Audrey: And I named it that because I found out that there was always enough grace.
40:02
Audrey: Yeah.
40:02
Audrey: Well, God always gives enough grace for your home.
40:05
Audrey: You might be struggling, you might not understand how everything's gonna work out, but there's always enough grace.
40:13
Audrey: Yeah, and he he taught me that.
40:16
Audrey: And I said, I want women to to see that, to understand that he's he's not he's not gonna let you down.
40:21
Audrey: Yes, and so I podcast at graceformyhome.com is is my is my blog.
40:26
Audrey: GraceformyHome.com is my blog.
40:28
Audrey: And I wrote my my first book, 31 Prayers to cover you and your children and God's grace.
40:35
Audrey: Those are the actual prayers that I prayed for my children for years.
40:39
Audrey: I wrote them down and I kept them in a notebook beside my on my nightstand.
40:46
Tana Johnston: Yeah.
40:46
Audrey: And one day I thought, if Lord forbid something happened to me, they're gonna throw this notebook in the trash.
40:54
Audrey: I mean, nobody knows how important this is to me.
40:56
Audrey: Yes.
40:57
Audrey: And I'm gonna write these prayers down and hopefully they will be a blessing to other people.
41:02
Audrey: So you can find that on Amazon.
41:05
Audrey: It's called 31 Prayers to cover you and your children in God's grace.
41:10
Audrey: And I hope that the ladies who are listening today, I hope that they've been encouraged.
41:18
Audrey: I hope that they see that no matter where they are in the process, that God has his hand on them, he's never gonna let let you go.
41:27
Audrey: He he loves you.
41:28
Tana Johnston: Yeah.
41:29
Audrey: And that five years from now, you're gonna look back and see where you where you were today and think, oh Lord, thank you.
41:36
Audrey: I'm so glad I didn't give up.
41:38
Audrey: I'm so glad that I didn't let go of him because he's never gonna let go of me.
41:43
Tana Johnston: That's right.
41:44
Tana Johnston: That's right.
41:45
Tana Johnston: Amen to that.
41:47
Tana Johnston: Audrey, thank you so, so much.
41:49
Tana Johnston: I will also leave the link to Audrey's show in the show notes and a link to her book on Amazon so y'all can just scroll down there and click on it and have access to that stuff.
42:01
Tana Johnston: And do follow, click, save, love, grace in my home from Audrey.
42:07
Tana Johnston: I promise you'll want to listen.
42:09
Tana Johnston: You'll be an avid listener.
42:10
Tana Johnston: So follow and leave a review for her.
42:12
Tana Johnston: That would be great.
42:13
Tana Johnston: Audrey, thank you so much for being on the show.
42:16
Tana Johnston: Thank you for having me.
42:17
Tana Johnston: Awesome.
42:18
Tana Johnston: We will catch you all next week.
42:19
Tana Johnston: Thanks for being here.
42:21
Tana Johnston: Hey, Spirit-led woman.
42:24
Tana Johnston: I hope you enjoyed today's episode.
42:26
Tana Johnston: If so, would you take 30 seconds to like, follow, and leave a written review?
42:31
Tana Johnston: I would be so grateful if you would share it with a friend who may also be feeling a little lost, confused about life, and needs some clarity.
42:39
Tana Johnston: It's time to start living with purpose for the kingdom and for our families with confidence and clarity.
42:46
Tana Johnston: I'll meet you back next Tuesday for another Faith Field episode.
42:49
Tana Johnston: Thanks for being here.