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How I Defeated Public Speaking Anxiety · Speak In Flow

• 0:02
  Melinda Lee: Welcome, dear listeners, to the Speak and Flow podcast, where we dive into unique strategies and experiences to help you and your team achieve maximum potential, confidence, even when the stakes are high.
• 0:17
  Melinda Lee: Today, I have an amazing leader. He's authentic, he's inspiring, he's positive, he's knowledgeable, he's a HR manager at a security company, and we'll not name the security company, but just for anonymous sake.
• 0:32
  Melinda Lee: His name is Marvin Lampa, and it's been a privilege to get to know him and work with him and the team.
• 0:39
  Melinda Lee: Hi, Marvin!
• 0:41
  MarvinLampa: Hey, Melinda, how you doing? Thanks for having me.
• 0:44
  Melinda Lee: It's so wonderful to see you again. I'm so glad we're here and doing this. Before we launch into the experience that you had with working with me and Speak in Flow, I wanted to know what, can you share with the audience, what are you passionate about when it comes to HR? It's such a big topic.
• 1:03
  MarvinLampa: Yeah, so when it comes to HR, and it's a pretty significant, big role with a company,
• 1:10
  MarvinLampa: I'm very passionate about helping people, outside of work and at work.
• 1:15
  MarvinLampa: I want to be the one that you can come to, you know, without hesitation, if, you know, you have a simple HR question, or even if you have, you know, something going on personal in your life, I want to be the one that you can come to. Again, I know they say open-door policy with HR, but, you know, I'm…
• 1:32
  MarvinLampa: more than happy, even off hours, if you have an issue, you have a concern, or, you know, you just need even a friend to talk to, you know, I want to be…
• 1:39
  MarvinLampa: That person readily available for employees.
• 1:43
  Melinda Lee: And that is what makes you an excellent HR manager.
• 1:48
  MarvinLampa: Thank you.
• 1:49
  Melinda Lee: And so I had the honor of supporting you and the team at the security company with up-leveling confidence with public speaking, and so I'd love to know, what did you see? What was it like before?
• 2:05
  Melinda Lee: I came in to help.
• 2:07
  MarvinLampa: Nope.
• 2:08
  MarvinLampa: It's funny, because as…
• 2:10
  MarvinLampa: I mean, you know me now, but before that, you know, I wasn't very confident in how I spoke, and when I did speak, I was always…
• 2:20
  MarvinLampa: I had a lot of self-doubt.
• 2:22
  MarvinLampa: And, like, if I did a speech, or whatever it may be, I'd always criticize myself, like, oh, I should have did this, or, you know, I'm talking too low, or I'm not giving enough eye contact to the audience.
• 2:34
  MarvinLampa: But in reality, you know, when people give me feedback, they're like, oh, you're fine, like, you did great, I didn't even notice, right? So, when going through this program with you, it really allowed me to…
• 2:47
  MarvinLampa: I essentially felt like I was…
• 2:49
  MarvinLampa: my skills were broken down, and you were able to build me back up to show that, hey, you are confident, you have a voice, and you need to use it. And that is what I took from this, and honestly, I… even though we've ended our, you know, our sessions, you know, it stuck with me, it resonated with me, and again.
• 3:07
  MarvinLampa: Not only in work, but in my personal life, you know? Being confident in anything you say and do. So I… that's one thing I really… I took away from this.
• 3:17
  Melinda Lee: And you did not use any filler words just now.
• 3:20
  MarvinLampa: Oh, great. Because that was….
• 3:23
  Melinda Lee: You're connected to your message, and that's what happens when you're so present, connected to your message, the filler words just go away, and….
• 3:35
  Melinda Lee: That's what makes it beautiful.
• 3:37
  MarvinLampa: And I think because I'm speaking
• 3:41
  MarvinLampa: I'm speaking the truth, right? This is something that impacted me positively, and, you know, I want to share that. I want to let people know how much of a positive experience this was for me, and it positively affected me, you know?
• 3:56
  MarvinLampa: Essentially, it changed me and helped me grow as a person.
• 3:59
  Melinda Lee: Thank you. And what do you… do you… what do you think about the team? Do you think the… every… most people on the team? You had the doubt. I think… do you think most people on the team also felt like they didn't?
• 4:11
  Melinda Lee: They had that sense of self-doubt in their head before.
• 4:14
  MarvinLampa: Yeah, I would say, yeah, because a lot of times with public speaking, it's…
• 4:20
  MarvinLampa: you know, you're having a war within yourself. Like, the inner thoughts are… that's what psychs you out, that's what gets you anxious, because you're thinking the worst, you know? And, you know, I talked to my other colleagues who took this speaking flow, and
• 4:36
  MarvinLampa: you know, they speak super confident, even before this, and then, you know, we'll give each other feedback, and they'll be like, oh, I was so nervous, and I was this and that, and I said, dude, I did not feel that at all.
• 4:47
  MarvinLampa: But again, that's that… those inner thoughts that are kind of essentially taking over, but it's… it's natural when you speak. I mean, it's scary, whether you're speaking to two people or 200 people. Just the thought of public speaking itself.
• 5:02
  MarvinLampa: it's nerve-wracking, right? So, just, you know, and then again, you gave us the tools.
• 5:07
  MarvinLampa: to overcome that. Yes, we want to be exposed to it, but you taught us how to overcome those feelings.
• 5:14
  Melinda Lee: Do you recall what kind of tool you learned? And you don't have to, just curious.
• 5:19
  MarvinLampa: Oh, yeah, I mean, even, even, like, before we…
• 5:23
  MarvinLampa: we start our sessions, you know, when you say, hey, take a breath with me. That helps, you know, and because a lot of the times.
• 5:30
  MarvinLampa: you know, you just… all the nerves are racing, racing, racing, but as long as you take that breath, and that's with anything, you know, whether it's, you know, you're about to take a driving test, you know, just breathe. Breathe out the nerves, and that's… I mean, with me, I did, you know, I do…
• 5:47
  MarvinLampa: martial arts, and that thing is… that's key. Breathing, breathing, letting it breathe out, breathe it out, and a lot of people don't realize that breath exercises are important with everything that you do.
• 5:58
  Melinda Lee: Right, right. Isn't that interesting? The breath, it does allow us to open up our nervous system, our heart, so that the nervous system and the body can calm down, because a lot of the times, we're in our head, we're like, oh my gosh, what if I don't do well? Or people like us as leaders, we apply so much pressure, and then we're getting in our head, and then so we forget to incorporate
• 6:23
  Melinda Lee: Our nervous system and our body, which means that's why the breath is so important, because our body then, therefore, feels calm.
• 6:31
  MarvinLampa: And the other one I really like, I forgot what it was called, but, I mean, you're really good at sensing when someone is nervous, right? And you showed me the tapping technique, right?
• 6:42
  Melinda Lee: Oh, yeah!
• 6:43
  MarvinLampa: And I like that, because, you know, you're… I forgot the… the flow of it, but at the end, where you're like.
• 6:49
  MarvinLampa: And that's okay, like, you're telling yourself, it's alright, like, it's okay.
• 6:54
  MarvinLampa: And sometimes you need to hear it, even if it's from yourself. Yeah. Because you need to hear, like, that's okay, I'm gonna mess up, and that's okay.
• 7:01
  MarvinLampa: So you understand if, if, you know, it goes off the course, that's okay. Right. Just get back on there, yeah.
• 7:07
  Melinda Lee: The ironic thing that I find is once we allow ourselves
• 7:11
  Melinda Lee: it's okay if we mess up. We end up actually not messing up. It's the ironic thing, because I think when we put so much pressure on ourselves, you end up getting more robotic and tight.
• 7:24
  Melinda Lee: So then, when you allow yourself, if I do mess up, I'll be okay, and actually, you relax into it.
• 7:31
  Melinda Lee: And then, there's actually less mistakes.
• 7:34
  MarvinLampa: Yeah, and I noticed you pointed that out with me during our sessions, like.
• 7:39
  MarvinLampa: when I would use a PowerPoint, for example, you notice, like, hey, you…
• 7:44
  MarvinLampa: You start fumbling a little bit, and then you sound a bit robotic, and you would say, hey, try it without it.
• 7:50
  MarvinLampa: And it was great. And, you know, we both discussed that, you know, no matter how much you practice, the speech is not always going to be the same. And that's okay. As long as you stay the course and it's in the vicinity of what you are talking about, it's fine.
• 8:05
  Melinda Lee: Huh?
• 8:05
  MarvinLampa: help.
• 8:06
  Melinda Lee: Yeah! I love it! I love it. I love that. So good, so good. So I'm glad that you like the tapping, which is… it's scientifically proven. It's like, it's aligned to our acupuncture, our, nervous system acupuncture, so you're tapping out the energy, the nerves, because that's really what it is. It's just stored up energy. You're tapping it out. And then, like you said, once you're in it.
• 8:28
  Melinda Lee: When you are focused on just staying in the vicinity and allowing your words to come out, you're feeling more free, and that's so much more fun to speak in that place than to be over-person robotic.
• 8:40
  Melinda Lee: And I saw you do that in that session, and so it was so cool to see… it was awesome to see you, like, just speak, and you knocked… you nailed it. You knocked it out of the park.
• 8:52
  MarvinLampa: They were really happy, it was really good to see.
• 8:55
  MarvinLampa: Right? And so you feel that at the end, you're like, yes! Yeah, absolutely.
• 9:00
  Melinda Lee: Awesome! And so, before we end, really thank you so much for sharing your experience, what you learned, and the transformation you felt within yourself. What would you like the audience to remember? What is a golden takeaway for them?
• 9:15
  MarvinLampa: Yeah, so for me, I just want everyone to know that, you know, everyone has a voice, and everyone has a story, and whether you think it doesn't relate to anyone, I mean, it'll resonate with one person, whether you, you know, believe it or not.
• 9:28
  MarvinLampa: you're always gonna be able to affect one person. And I always say, when I do my speeches, or if I talk to somebody, as long as I affect one person positively, I did my job.
• 9:39
  MarvinLampa: Yeah. And I'm happy with that, you know, I'm satisfied.
• 9:42
  MarvinLampa: So just remember, just be confident in anything you say, and even if it's wrong, just put it out there. I mean, you're contributing to the conversation, whether it be a speech, or whether it be talking with your buddies. I mean, you don't want to just sit there and not say anything. I mean, you might sound dumb, but hey, at least you're engaging in the conversation. So just…
• 10:02
  MarvinLampa: Be confident in what you say, and just, you know, speak together.
• 10:06
  Melinda Lee: Love it. Thank you, Marvin. And what do you think you're going to do now with this… these skills and tools? What more are you going to do, with them?
• 10:16
  MarvinLampa: Well, for me, in my role now, you know, I'm definitely gonna sharpen my skills and learn upon the labor laws and, you know, apply it to when, you know, someone comes to me and says, hey, you know, I…
• 10:29
  MarvinLampa: I need to go out on FMLA, for example. I don't want to say, oh, well, I think this is what you gotta do, but I'll be confident and say, no, this is what you gotta do.
• 10:38
  MarvinLampa: here's the paperwork, go in and fill that out. So that way, you know, the tone. The tone is like, okay, he understands, he gets it, I don't have to worry about… you know, because then they gotta file for…
• 10:49
  MarvinLampa: you know, disability or whatever it may be, and if they leave the room like, wait, does he even know what he's talking about? Then I failed them. And that's one thing that I can't do as an HR manager.
• 11:00
  Melinda Lee: Right.
• 11:01
  Melinda Lee: Well, they're really lucky to have you, like I said.
• 11:04
  MarvinLampa: Thank you, thank you.
• 11:05
  Melinda Lee: You do more speaking, in the community, too.
• 11:09
  MarvinLampa: Yeah, yeah, I mean, I've done it in the past, again, I used to be heavily involved in the church, in my church community, and…
• 11:17
  MarvinLampa: And again, that's where I knew I had a voice, you know, and that's… and I just…
• 11:24
  MarvinLampa: didn't build on it, which… but now, you know, again, with the Speak and Flow, program, I should build on it and continue.
• 11:31
  Melinda Lee: Yes, yes.
• 11:32
  MarvinLampa: Everyone, I think everyone should… everyone should have the skill of public speaking, in my opinion.
• 11:38
  Melinda Lee: Yeah.
• 11:39
  Melinda Lee: Yeah, get your message out, let your voice be heard and known.
• 11:42
  MarvinLampa: Absolutely.
• 11:44
  Melinda Lee: Thank you so much, Marvin.
• 11:46
  MarvinLampa: Thank you for having me.
• 11:47
  Melinda Lee: Thank you, and thank you, Audi, I'm glad, and thank you, audience, for being here, and until next time, I'm your sister in flow. May prosperity flow to you, through you, and onto others, and I'll see you next time.
• 12:00
  Melinda Lee: Take care.