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Who's Your Mummy? (Promo) · Movie Meltdown

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Which is why it's time to tell people about teeth
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: and blood.
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: Hmm. I don't like this. This is what I came
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: across the other day. I can show you the, but
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: the tagline on it says, death is just the beginning.
• 0:31
  Speaker 3: Isn't that the tagline for like so many things?
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: Every, every, everything. But then let's see.
• 0:37
  Speaker 4: Pretty sure it was a tagline for Little House on
• 0:39
  Speaker 4: the Prairie.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: Well, eventually when they blow up that town, it's true.
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: So the back says, a beautiful diva is murdered on
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: the set of a horror director, Vincent Augustine's latest film,
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: Chapel Blood. Sounds like some other thing we would threaten
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: people with. Somewhere between the crime scene and the coroner's van,
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: the body mysteriously disappears. Meanwhile, the city's supply of donated
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: blood is being dangerously depleted. Suspecting a connection between the events,
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: detectives Mike Kung and Sasha Colfax go undercover at the
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: studio to investigate. Their attempt to crack the case quickly
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: turns into a desperate battle for survival when they uncover
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: an age-old war between rival vampire covens that threatens to
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: consume humanity in a final grisly assault of teeth and blood.
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: That sounds so bad.
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: That sounds so great. You can't wait to watch it.
• 1:37
  Speaker 4: That is a journey of a description. I can only
• 1:41
  Speaker 4: imagine what takes place in that.
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: Why do they have to go undercover?
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: You don't need to know they're there. So this is
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: the upside down cover that it has with the fun
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: little tagline at the bottom because death is just the beginning. Yeah.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: So that's what we could be watching, which you seem
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: pretty excited about.
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: Was that the tagline for Candyman?
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: No, I think it's four times and then like ellipses.
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: Because you're about to die. Have you tested that before? No.
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to get Candyman'd.
• 2:15
  Speaker 4: I think you usually get bored by the fourth one.
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: I don't because I saw Candyman and I was like, nope, nope.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: I mean.
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: He's that cool that I'm just like, I'm not saying
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: I don't want to hang out with you because he
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: is cool, but at the same time, I'm like, he's
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: a creepy dude.
• 2:31
  Speaker 4: I don't know. I don't want to hang out with
• 2:33
  Speaker 4: anybody who has bees coming out of their mouth.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: I mean, the bees isn't fun. The hook's pretty cool. Yeah.
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: Who doesn't want to have a hook for a hand?
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: Oh, it's the mummy. Oh, the tagline.
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: I was like, wait. That's not the mummy. It's Candyman.
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: It's the tagline for the mummy. How dare they?
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: Which mummy?
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: The 1999... Brendan Fraser masterpiece.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: I so don't care about Brendan Fraser. I'm sorry.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 3:01
  Speaker 4: I know.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: Obviously, there are so many people that love that. That
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: is their movie. Specifically, their mummy movie. And I'm just like,
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: it doesn't even occur to me that that's a mummy movie.
• 3:13
  Speaker 4: I enjoy him in Airheads.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: There are times. I don't say I dislike him as
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: a person. There's just so many of his roles that
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't. I'm not buying this. Airheads, I
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: totally buy him. Yeah. Encino Man is probably pretty good casting,
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: but then there's other ones later that I'm like, why
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: is he in this movie? And then now, we hear
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: real world stories, and I'm like, I don't want to
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: side with you as a human being. You had a
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: rough ride, dude. I'll give you it. But do I
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: want to watch The Whale?
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: No. No.
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: That seems like a really bad idea for a movie,
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: especially when you're in tons of makeup. Maybe literally tons
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: of makeup. It just seems... on a lot of levels.
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: So I wish him the best, but those mummy movies
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: just rubbed me the wrong way.
• 4:01
  Speaker 4: I've never, you know, I've had no desire ever to
• 4:04
  Speaker 4: watch them.
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: They just seem, because.
• 4:05
  Speaker 4: I know, I know.
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: It doesn't, well again, it doesn't seem like a, again,
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: if I want a mummy movie, I want a spooky
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: mummy movie. That seems like a knockoff Indiana Jones movie.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: Which is why it rubs me the wrong way. I'm like,
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: you're not Indiana Jones. I know Harrison Ford. You are
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: not Harrison Ford or Alden Ehrenreich for that matter. So. Shame. Shame.
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: You all deserve to watch the terrible blood and teeth movie.
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: I'll watch the Tom Cruise mummy movie. How about that?
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: No.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: Which is also pretty bad. Did you watch that one?
• 4:34
  Speaker 4: No.
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: It's another one of those they didn't know what the
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: hell they were making. Like it's not a mummy movie.
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: It's not spooky. It's an action movie that has some
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: CG mummy thing running around. I'm just like, what are you?
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: Why?
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: Why can't we just make a regular mummy movie? Till now,
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: which I guess we did eventually.
• 4:50
  Speaker 4: Well, I don't know if you'd call that regular, but.
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: It's more horrific, I suppose. It's grotesque. There you go.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: Which is not what I would say with Tom Cruise. No,
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: I would call Tom Cruise grotesque. I mean, the Digger makeup, maybe, but... No,
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: just in general. Yeah.
• 5:09
  Speaker 4: Is Scientology gonna, like.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, you're in trouble now.
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: Oh, sweet.
• 5:13
  Speaker 4: I'm taking you bastards with me.
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: I didn't say anything.
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: I mean, do I at least get brought into the payroll?
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: I don't think I qualify. I don't think they want me.
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: I think you've got to bring money to the table
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: to get involved.
• 5:26
  Speaker 4: I don't think they want either one of us.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: Nora, they'd probably take.
• 5:29
  Speaker 4: The rest of us, they're the other. Yeah, they'd be like, oh, no.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: She's got all those Jeopardy winnings.
• 5:35
  Speaker 4: Not yet.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: Which, by the way, update. They have not come through
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: with their cash. Ken, that's bring me my money.
• 5:44
  Speaker 4: I mean, did they give you an idea?
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: I think it's like 90 days after it airs.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: Oh, okay.
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: We got a little more time.
• 5:49
  Speaker 4: That's not terrible.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 5:50
  Speaker 4: Do you get residuals for that? Like when they show reruns,
• 5:53
  Speaker 4: do they get to do a check?
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: I don't think so. Especially now because they're online. You
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: think they would have to work out some sort of
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: plan that they weren't paying you for all eternity as
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: people keep clicking on it somewhere down the line. Eventually,
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: maybe they retire because they did that with Family Feud.
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: Not that I want to watch current Family Feud because
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: Steve Harvey also is weird, but I was trying to
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: find one of the celebrity ones. It only goes back
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: like four episodes. I'm like, what's the point of streaming
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: if you don't have them all? Why? Why? I don't know.
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: Streaming's ridiculous. There's just so many holes in the.
• 6:30
  Speaker 4: If you can ever find where they had the cast
• 6:34
  Speaker 4: of Hawaii Five-0 on Celebrity Family Feud, watch that and
• 6:38
  Speaker 4: be prepared.
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: There's definitely... Well, I can only imagine now. There's definitely
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: a Gilligan's Island one Oh, I'd like to see that.
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: I know you're not surprised that I knew that, but
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: they were still hanging in there, you know. It was
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: early on, so. Yeah. So, all that having been said, hey,
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: you could give us a better movie to watch than
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: Blood and Teeth, or was that even the title? I
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: don't remember now. Something about death being the beginning. Just
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: the beginning. Yeah. Don't watch The Mummy. Something like that. Anyway. No,
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: I'm just baiting you. Wrong. Have you watched the third one? No.
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: Have you watched the second one? No. I only, I
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: didn't know there was a third one until a couple
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: of years back. And then I was almost interested because
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: supposedly they like go to the East Asia somewhere and
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: there's like Yetis. I was like, all right, I want
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: to see Yetis. But in the new, you know, they're rebooting, right?
• 7:39
  Speaker 4: Oh, sure.
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: They're rebooting with Brendan. And I think, what's her face?
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: Rachel Weisz. Is she the one that's in it? think
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: they're bringing them back but they're gonna in usual reboot
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: fashion it can't just be simple because something weird happened
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: in three that they don't want to acknowledge so they're
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: skipping over three so it's like one and two happen
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: but not three i'm like guys why do you make
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: it so hard so prepare yourself for a semi-reboot that's
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: not fully connected to the rest of the canon because
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: three is no longer canon.
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: That seems unnecessary.
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: Thank you. That's what I said. And I'm just annoyed
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: with them. So if it's also bothering you, I'm like,
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: thank you.
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: And I do love the first one.
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: Because I think she's not in the third one. So
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: maybe that's why. Maybe they brought in some new Willie
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: Scott for him to hang out with or something. And
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: I don't know. But I think there is a kid
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: maybe by the third one. So maybe the grown up
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: version of the kid is now going to be like
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: co-lead in the reboot. I don't know. This is why
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: I don't want to watch that either.
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: So.
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: But you're going to get much more mature, Brandon, Brendan, Jimmy,
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: whatever the hell his name is.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: Anyway, the mummies. Many, many mummies. What if he just
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: popped up in Lake Cronin's movie?
• 9:01
  Speaker 4: That'd be fun. Actually, there was a rumor that he
• 9:04
  Speaker 4: was supposed to have a cameo in there.
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: I mean, that'd be funny.
• 9:06
  Speaker 4: And then people were pissed when it didn't happen.
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: I've also noticed these fancy directors trying to pull a
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: carpenter these days.
• 9:14
  Speaker 4: Uh-huh.
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: Slap their name in front of all their titles. I
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: was like, only one person got to do that for
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: a long time there.
• 9:20
  Speaker 4: He claims that the studio suggested that so that people
• 9:26
  Speaker 4: didn't confuse it with the Brendan Fraser movies. And he
• 9:30
  Speaker 4: was like, he says he just reluctantly went along with it, so.
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: Unlike carpenter who was like oh no yeah it's all
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: about me this is my halloween it's all about me
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: he's not wrong but yeah he's also a little full
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: of himself rightfully so he's pretty damn talented yeah now
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: he just sits at home and smokes and plays video
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: games composes shit on a synthesizer like good work if
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: you can get it i guess he's entertaining Even as
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: the crazy old man he is now, he's entertaining. Alright. So,
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: there you go. You can hear much better stuff if
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: you just give us a movie we want to watch.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: Go to MovieMeltdown.com Join the Meltdown Horror Club and give
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: us better things to watch than whatever that vampire movie was.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: Or worse.
• 10:18
  Speaker 4: If you want. It's up to you guys.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: Like I can't see.
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: Give me some space to keep away