Latest / Limitless Living with Fredricka Davis / 033: How to Start Your Next Chapter Without Overwhelm

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033: How to Start Your Next Chapter Without Overwhelm · Limitless Living with Fredricka Davis

• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the Limitless Living Podcast.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Frederica Davis, wellness expert, entrepreneur, and creator of the Limitless Reset Method.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: Today is Reinvention Saturday.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: We get to talk about passion and purpose and identity, reinvention, and all the courage to have our best lives.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: So, okay.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: So now you have likely started to get clearer, especially if you've been listening to the past several episodes on our reinvention Saturdays.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: You have likely felt that pulling, that gnawing, that there is something more for you.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: You've probably also noticed the thoughts that try to stop you along the way.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: So now the question becomes: how do I actually start moving towards what I want, towards that dream of mine, towards that next chapter of mine, whatever that is.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: How do I do it without overwhelming myself?
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: Because maybe you already feel overwhelmed, and this just makes it even more.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: We don't want to do that.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: So today's episode should not add overwhelm.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: This is where most people start to freeze and they get frozen in their tracks.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not because you don't want to change, it's because the change simply feels too big and overwhelming.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: And it feels too unclear still, or too uncertain, or uncomfortable.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: So instead of moving forward one step at a time, you go back to thinking to yourself, okay, I need to think about this more.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: I need to map this out better.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: I need more planning.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: I need more skills.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: I need more getting all the details right.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I need more of the big picture and knowing every single solitary thing.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: And believe me when I tell you I have done this.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: And all of that comes back to you waiting and waiting and waiting and procrastinating and all those things becoming reasons to not start.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I want to tell you this is a pattern I see with people all the time.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I've caught myself in it.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: You've heard, if you listen to maybe the first episode, that this podcast almost didn't come to be because I was stuck in that myself, in the perfectionism of like, what's my copy art?
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: My podcast art going to look like.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: How am I going to do the editing?
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um, don't I need music in the beginning and the end?
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: And if you've noticed, there's still no music in the beginning and the end.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: Haven't figured that out yet.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I've been just really focused on providing excellent content for everyone and keeping this going and building momentum, right?
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: So perfect.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: No, it's evolving and it's going to get better and better as it goes.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: But I had to get to this point where I got out of the overwhelm of it feeling too big with too many moving parts and too unclear and too uncertain.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I had to move into the actionable side of things.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: I had to get away from thinking and planning and researching and planning and thinking and learning and researching and planning and that whole cycle.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because it was all a cycle of waiting, all a cycle of procrastination, all a cycle of me being a little insecure about it not being good enough, or me not identifying just yet as the podcaster that people would want to listen to.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if you're listening to this, you're clearly listening, right?
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: I had to move past that.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: So I give you that as an example, no matter what your goal is.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: And it is a pattern that I see over and over again.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: First, you get the clarity of what you want.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, that was I knew I wanted to do a podcast.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: And even though I kept procrastinating, finding reasons not to yet, I kept feeling the pull.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: I kept, I even had clients and friends say, You really need to write the book or you need to do the podcast because we want to hear all these things.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: And in the in, you know, when I was working with clients one-on-one, they're like, I wish we could listen to you more so it could keep me on track better.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: And all these things out of every sign, it was out there, internally and externally, that I was on the right path.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: And it is 100% in alignment with who I am as someone who likes to inspire and educate and connect with people.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: So it was all those things, yet I was stuck in that.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I tell you that because you might very well be in that same position.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: In that moment when you get the clarity, you start to feel the pull and you get excited.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: But then all of a sudden, the brain jumps in and it jumps in with, well, how will this really work?
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: How, what if I can't be consistent about it?
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: What if I can't follow through?
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: What if I don't have what it takes?
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: What is the full plan?
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: What if I do this wrong?
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: What will people think?
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, the list can go on and on of questions, genuinely.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: Now, here's the deal: you don't have all the answers.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: That's part of the reason you're getting all these questions in your head and all these moments of pause.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: And then you wait.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: And then you start telling yourself, you know, I'll do it when I'm more ready.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: But that pause, that's where momentum goes to die.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it just dies.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: It gets lost, it dies.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: Momentum is only there with action.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: When you pause too long, you lose momentum.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: And this is true whether you're doing a physical activity or something like this.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: So instead of asking, how do I figure everything out, or thinking to yourself, I can't start until I have all of this figured out.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to start shifting into what's my next move?
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: Simple, simple, simple, simple question.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: What's my next move?
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I want to give you three things that will help you start or develop momentum towards whatever it is that you want without the overwhelm.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: Because, of course, I know you are likely listening to this and already maybe a little overwhelmed starting out.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: We don't want to add overwhelm.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: We want to get you to where you're feeling aligned and less overwhelmed and like you're living on your purpose and happy and joyful and so on.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: So, number one, I want you to stop waiting to feel ready because honestly, you won't.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: You will more than likely not ever feel 100% ready.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: You simply won't.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: Clarity comes from movement.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: First, you have give yourself the space to ask the questions, think, process, and you take action.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: If you only do one or the other, you might get a little clarity from giving yourself the space to get clear.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: But if you never follow with movement, you lose it.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: It goes, it's gone, or you bury it.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: So you need to have movement.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: And this is going to be movement before you feel ready.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: We're human.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: Do we ever really 100% feel ready for most things?
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: Probably not.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: So, number two, I want you to focus on the direction instead of the entire big giant full plan, whatever your plan is.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need to know every single step.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I will share with you as I have gone throughout my career and my life, and created my wellness center and day spa and my programs and now the podcasts, everything.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: There is a greater, larger ecosystem that is has come of that and is continually being created.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: That is not without intention.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: It is not without purpose.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: It is not without action.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: That is a hundred percent for sure.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: I have had the need and the desire to have the entire everything pictured, everything played out, everything worked out in every detail before I begin.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: Well, that's the easiest place to get stuck.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: So is there value in having a general larger plan?
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely, because you know which direction you're working towards.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: But from that plan, you don't need every single solitary detail mapped out.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: As many as you can working backwards from the bigger picture is great, but not every step.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: You simply need to know what your next step is to get to the bigger plan, meaning you're focusing on moving forward in that direction.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: You you need to know where you're headed and you simply focus in that direction.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: So number three, shift your identity through action.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: Now, the question that's going to be attached with this step is what would the version of me that I'm becoming do today?
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: Then you do it, you do it once, and that's how change starts.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's one foot in front of the other, one action in front of the other, all leading you in the right direction, as we talked to you in step two, and allowing you to step into the identity that you are becoming.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'll give you a personal story as an example.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: When I first started my own business, I was a solopreneur.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I was young, very, very young.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: I had family members discouraged me beyond belief.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: I had little to no experience of running a brick and mortar business, of building it, growing it, all of that.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: I had no real mentor in my life to learn from, other than the self-taught, self-help books that were out there.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, uh, it was right around when Tony Robbins was on the scene and was becoming um known.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I followed everything he had, and uh Stephen Covey, and uh I could get down a long list of um, there was a book I read called Feel Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: I can't think of her name, who wrote that.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: These were the ways that I overcame, and these were the beginnings of how I have created all the programs and the steps and the methods that I do now.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: And in keeping with this step three that I'm giving you about shifting your identity through action, I had countless people discourage me from becoming an entrepreneur.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: If I had a nickel for every time a family member said to me, When are you gonna, even after I'd had a business who said to me, When are you gonna get a real job?
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I could have quite a load of money right now from all of that.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: So there was a lot of discouragement there.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: I did not have the skill set that I needed.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: I did not have the experience that I needed.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: I did not have somebody in my life to turn to to ask questions, yet I did it anyway.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I tell you that story and you're thinking, well, but geez, that sounds pretty stupid, right?
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the thing it was what was in alignment with what I wanted.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: It was at the core of my being.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's what I knew I wanted.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: So I went out and I took steps one by one, little baby steps, and found and figured it out.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: I made mistake after mistake.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: I probably made every mistake you can think of in the book.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: And and I learned, and I learned from my mistakes and did not let the mistakes derail me because I just kept taking one more step every single day that would allow me to step into the version of myself that I wanted to become.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: So I went from young, naive, uneducated, who am I to do this person, to business owner, owner.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I was a solopreneur at that time.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: That became successful.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: And then I wanted to have a team.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: And then that was another identity shift because I had to step into the person who runs a business, isn't just the business themselves.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: So I had to step into that.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: I had to step into the mentor, the leader role, right?
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: So that was unnerving.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: That was a shift in my identity, and I had to learn how to do that.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: Then when I wanted to share that know-how and become a mentor and coach, I had to step into that identity.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: And then when I wanted to do that on a on a one-on-one, going from a one-on-one to a group setting and learn how to do that online, I had to again shift not only my know-how and my skills, but my identity had to shift.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: And the same thing when I started this podcast.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: And when I started to do public uh, you know, speaking and talks.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: And the point I'm making is that if I had been way back there thinking about all the areas I was going to expand into and my ultimate goal, and I did actually have some of these as ultimate goals way, way, way back when.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: But if I had been focusing on them, it would have been way too overwhelming.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: I would have never gotten there.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, I focused on, and this is what I want you to do.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to focus on what is the one step that you need to do now and doing it that gets you toward where you're going.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: That's how all of this starts.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: And that's how you get to where you want to go.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: So what I've given you in these three steps, and I'm going to recap because I the third one was long.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, stop waiting to feel ready.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: It only comes with action.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: Clarity comes with action, momentum comes with action.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: Focus on your direction, not the entire full plan, so that you're not overwhelmed.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need to know every detail.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_00: You just need to know where you're headed.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_00: Number three, shift your identity through your actions.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: And that means just doing something today as if you are the person you want to step into, the identity that you are becoming.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this is going to be true, these three steps across the board.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody starts with everything figured out.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: Not the people that you admire, not the people you look up to.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: They start out messy, they start out unsure, but they start.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: That's the difference, and they do one step at a time.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: Think about J.K.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: Rowling, who wrote the Harry Potter books.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: She sat in cafes and she had this dream of writing this book.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: She had the big pu the big picture for her was likely that she wanted to become a published author and she wanted to get off of the public assistance.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: She was on public assistance at the time that she started writing these.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: So those were that was probably her big picture dream.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: She probably didn't realize that the big picture dream was going to be all these volumes and movies and all this power, all these, these things you can buy everywhere about Harry Potter.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, and boy, talk about overwhelming, right?
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: Even writing any one of those books, if she would have focused on the totality of it and the numbers of words and pages, she probably would have been a hundred percent overwhelmed.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, she had a story, she had a dream, she wanted to bring that to the world.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: She sat down and word by word by word, every day, she made another page, and each page got her closer to a chapter, and each chapter got her closer to the end of the book.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: And when she got to the end of the book that got her closer to being uh published, you get the picture.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_00: So she knew her big picture, which seemed probably like pie in the sky, crazy at the time, considering where she was starting from, was to be a published author and to get off of public assistance with her family.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: But she didn't let that overwhelm her because think about how overwhelming that would be.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, she started one word, one page at a time.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: So your actionable steps again this week is focus on what direction you are moving in right now.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: Take that one step.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: Just one this week, if that's all you can do.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: If you can do one a day, that's great.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: But if you can only do one this week, take it.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: It moves you closer than you were before.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: What can you do to create 10% more alignment in yourself, your life?
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_00: Just 10%.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: You know, if you always focus on 10% better, 10% more every day, you will be 10% further than you were the day before.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's as simple as that.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: And what do you think happens after 30 days of that or after 365 days of that?
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: Things shift, things start to really happen.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_00: So trust yourself, trust in the plan, trust in the full picture, and believe that it's possible.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: But don't get overwhelmed in the full picture.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna give you a reflection question for the week.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: What is one move I know I can make that I've been avoiding?
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: Just one.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_00: That's your reflection question.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_00: If this has resonated with you, please share this with somebody else that would benefit from it.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: Feel free to visit my website, frederica davis.com, grab your free reset guide there, connect, join our community, the limitless living community.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: That's where you can collect connect with me, ask questions, other women who are in similar stages as you are.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: And you don't need to know everything.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't all have to be figured out right now.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: You just need one next move.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: You just need to move forward because your next chapter does not begin with everything being crystal clear.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: It begins when you take the next step.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time.