Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / The Secret to Getting Kids Off Screens

Transcript

The Secret to Getting Kids Off Screens · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hello, this is the Happy Family's podcast Grandma Hobbies. I
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: don't know what that means, but Kylie, you've put together
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: your run sheep for today and they're the only two
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: words you've given me, Grandma hobbies. So we're talking about
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: Grandma hobbies today plus Toy Story five. Should you go
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: and see it? Should you take the kids? Did they
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: get it right? Did they get it wrong? We're going
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: to talk about that and more in I'll Do Better Tomorrow.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: That's next. Stay with us. Hello and welcome to the
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: Happy Families podcast, where you get real parenting solutions every
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: single day. This is Australia's most downloaded parenting podcast where
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: Justin and Kylie Colson we stope that you've decided to
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: spend your Friday morning with us, Kylie, I'll Do Better Tomorrow.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: Every Friday we talk about the stuff that's happened in
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: our family, the stuff that's working, the stuff that's not working,
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: hopefully giving some inspiration to mums and dads around as
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: straight around the world about what they can do to
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: make their families thrive and flourish. You've got the coolest
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: little run sheep note Grandma Hobbies. I'm perplexed I think
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: you're going to win today. It's going to be the
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: best story. I just have this feeling. But I'm going
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: to go first. Toy Story five.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: Texan Vted our house too. I don't know, Jesse.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: Toys are for play, but tech if for everything. We
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: took the kids to go to the movies. Oh my goodness,
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: how expensive is it to take the founder of the movies?
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: Holy cow.
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  Speaker 3: I can see why parents stay home and just rent
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: it on.
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  Speaker 1: My golly god. So we were going to go to
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: the local mainstream cinema that's run by one of the
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: big companies, won't mention any names. Twenty five bucks for
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: an adult, and with all of our kids being as
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: old as they are now, it was going to cost
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: us something like one hundred and fifty bucks. One hundred
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: and seventy bucks to take the kids to the movies.
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well, you were going to be a screw to
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: not get them any popcorn.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: No way was I doing that. Not that, Holy cow.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: I need to sell one of my children so I
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: can afford to take the rest of them to the movies.
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  Speaker 1: And so we found an independent cinema a little bit
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: further away from our and we went there. I think
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: what it costs, like fifty or sixty bucks. Yeah, bargain.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: And we watched Toy Story five. It's been too long, boy?
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: What are you some sort of old man toy?
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: What?
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: She thanks you old because you're bald? Wedding. I have
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: some thoughts. But first, even though this is my old
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: but tomorrow story, your your your reaction to Toy Story five.
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: Well, I did fall asleep a couple of times.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: You fell asleep in a Disney Pictures Toys Story.
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: Movie, not because it was boring you, it was so tight.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: That gives that gives you an indication. Just recently, we
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: did a podcast about having a big family. It gives
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: you an indication of what it's like. I think it
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: was on Monday morning, what it's like to have a
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: big family, and we were watching a What time did
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: we chop to the movies? What time was that session?
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  Speaker 2: At ten am? I wasn't even a.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: Late afternoon or evening session. Turn in the morning and
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: you're asleep.
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  Speaker 3: But I did get the gist of it. I did
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: get the gist of it, and I did cry lots.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: And mostly because I was waking up.
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: There were some things that were just brilliantly done. Yeah,
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: I think there were some things that were sadly depicted.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: Poorly, really provocative. Take okay, spoiler alert, what did you
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: not like.
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: The depiction of a child, a young child being given
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  Speaker 3: a device with no structure, no parental supervision.
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  Speaker 1: Spoiler alert in real life standard.
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: Being left in a room with the device, or seven
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  Speaker 3: with a device with no conversation about how to manage Kylie.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: The thing is, I know you're shocked by that, and.
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: I'm not shocked by it. I'm just I'm saddened that
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: with everything we know that and all the agendas that
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: are pushed in movies, that they didn't depict a healthier
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: way of introducing screens to children.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: So it was a great opportunity for modeling that they missed. Yes,
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  Speaker 1: I think what they were going for was reality. And
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: while you and I and the majority of people who
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: listen to this podcast know that you're supposed to actually
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: sit down and work this stuff out with your kids,
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  Speaker 1: the sad truth is that most parents don't. In fact,
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: you were having a chat that you told me about
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: just recently with a mum that you are friends with
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  Speaker 1: who literally said to you, she doesn't check on the
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: kid's screen usage at all, period, full stop, and sorry,
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: they've got screens, that's it. In fact, we know several
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: families now that I'm saying that. So I get that
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: you're upset about it, that you didn't like that.
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: This is disappointed.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was a missed opportunity. I'll agree
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: with that. My take, I don't know how they do it.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm going to say, don't you What
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: am I going to say, Nana? No, I want to
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  Speaker 1: hear you say it first.
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: How they can make a movie that makes you cry
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: every time?
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  Speaker 1: You got it fifty years old, and I'm crying about
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: toys that come to life and do better job parenting
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: than the parents. I just love Toy Story. I think
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: they did a bit with number four, but oh they
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: brought it back so well number five. I actually think
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  Speaker 1: they went too late on with the whole screen thing,
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  Speaker 1: because lily Pad grew a conscience and I don't believe
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: the big tech is ever going to grow a conscience,
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  Speaker 1: and so that was my only disappointment.
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  Speaker 3: But I don't think the conversation was about big tech.
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: The conversation is about toys, and.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: I just loved the beautifiction of creative play like let's
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: get the kids unstructured play. In fact, there's a bit
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: of a through line here. If you're talking about Grandmark
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: Crafts or whatever it is that you've got written on
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: the run sheet there. The through line to what I'm
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: talking about is technology is not helping our kids, but
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: the way that we used to play, whether it was
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: the structure of something like hopscotch or the unstructured play
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: of just being in a cubby house or building a
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: tree house, that's what kids thrive on. And Toy Story five,
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: I would just say, go see it's it's beautiful, it's wonderful.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: I loved it. I just love the whole series.
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: Very early on in the movie, there's just this little
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: moment where Jesse ends up in another backyard and the
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: toys are completely distressed because they have been neglected, and
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: Jesse can't understand what's going on because in her house
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: she's still adored and loved and played with. And she
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: goes up onto the rooftop to see what's going on,
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: and she looks into all of the neighborhood homes, all
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: the windows, and sees through the windows all of these
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: children that are just completely mesmerized by a screen. And
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: it's such a powerful moment and kind of really made
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: me think.
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  Speaker 1: About you've felt a pang of guilt, didn't you.
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: It's not so much guilt, it's just like, what are
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: we doing to ensure that our children aren't zombies to
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  Speaker 3: a screen, that they're not being slaves to that constant
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: need for dopamine?
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: Head cheap dope, meine easy dope mean, and it's not
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: the stuff that our kids need. Hey, right after the break,
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: we're going to find out what you're talking about when
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: it comes to this grandma hobby idea. But my ad
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: better tomorrow is just take the kids to see Toy
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: Story five and then have a great chat with them
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: about it afterwards, because it's such a valuable talking point.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: We're back. It's the Happy Family's podcast. Thanks for joining us, Kylie.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: What is this whole grandma hobby thing? What have you
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: written it down for? What does it mean? And does
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: it tie in with what I was saying about doing
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: things the old fashioned way?
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  Speaker 3: Well, just take a thin What are some of the
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: hobbies that grandma's do?
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  Speaker 1: Oh, I think of crocheting and cross stitch. I'm thinking
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: of my grandma right, so I'm going back to she
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: was born in the nineteenth thirty.
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so crochet knitting.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: Knit knitting, yes, sewing, cooking, baking, gardening, herbs, all that
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  Speaker 1: sort of stuff.
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  Speaker 3: The other day, I was looking my screen and came
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: up on my feed this. It was just this beautiful
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: little video of I'm going to guess she was somewhere
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: between eighteen and twenty one, and she just said, I'm
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: so grateful that I've got grandma hobbies.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: So it's like a young adult, yeah, a.
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: Young adult, and you're kind of just seeing her sitting
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: at a desk from behind, and then the screen goes
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: down and the visual you get is this beautiful little
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: patchwork that she's made.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: I'm so grateful that I'm quilting while I'm using Instagram
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: to show everyone how I'm doing grandma hobbies. I love it.
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: And she just said because I got to make this
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: in an afternoon, and I just thought, there is so
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: much joy that comes from creation. At the very core
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: of who we are. We are creators. Regardless of whether
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: or not we see ourselves as being creative people, we
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: are creators.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: So a quick little side note here, one of the
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: things that I love about writing a book is that
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: I have a book in my hand when I finished it.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: One of the things that I don't love about podcasting
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: is we have this chat thousands and thousands of people
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: listen to it, but then it's kind.
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: Of there's something tangible.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: It's a femal it's gone yeah yeah. And so we've
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: got a son in law who's builder, like he builds
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: a house and you can see what he's been doing
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: all day. And that's what you're getting at, right, Like
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: you're creating something and you can hold it. It's tangible.
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: So our twelve year old a handful of months ago
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  Speaker 3: came to me and she said, Mom, I really want
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: to learn to sew. So I pulled out the sewing
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: machine and we did a couple of little projects together,
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: but it didn't really go anywhere. And the next time
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: I asked her if she wanted me to bring the
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: machine out, she said no. And we've kind of gone
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: through this last few months where she's just been really
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: really zoned in on her drawings, which is amazing because
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: I love her artwork.
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: And then out of the blue.
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: The other days she said, Mum, I think I want
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: to start sewing again. I really want to do X, Y,
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: and Z. And I said, well, great, I said, those
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: things are going to take a little bit of time.
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: I said, so we just need to learn some really
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: basic things. Do you think that we could do a
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: few projects together and and I can teach you some skills,
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: but you can still come away with a finished product.
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: And she said yeah, sure. So yesterday we pulled out
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: the sewing machine and she got to make her very
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: first microwave bowl holder.
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: So it's a fame.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: Sometimes you try to get a bowl out of the
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: microwave and it's too hot.
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: Told yeah, and she did such a good job.
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: I'm actually blown away because three or four months ago,
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: when we pulled it out, it was really hard for
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: her to navigate the machine, and it was almost like,
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: I don't know, she's been secretly having lessons roll the
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: last few months when she wouldn't sew with me, because
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: she managed the machine so much better. This time, she
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: was so pumped she said, can we do a second one?
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: So we made two in a day and then I
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: said to her, you know what, if you keep doing this,
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: we could actually have a little market stall. So she's like, okay,
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: So we have gone a little bit crazy, and we
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: have already designed a little logo and I said to her,
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: I said, we need.
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: To come up with a name.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: What do you think like a business name?
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: Business name so she can have a little little tags
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: and everything.
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: And so you're going to put tags on the well.
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: I had these generic handmade tags and we put them on.
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: And whenever you put a tag on something, it just
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: gives it that professional finish. It looks amazing.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: So with all my travel, I'm missing most of the
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: details here. So what's the name of the business? Auntie
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: M'SDMSMS And.
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: It's very personal and very FUNNYM sounds like a grandma name.
• 11:32
  Speaker 3: It does, because we've got grandmar Crafts. But it's actually
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: very personal to M because she became an auntie nearly
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: three years ago and Indie our grand baby. She comes
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: into the house and.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: She's like aunt M Auntie loves it.
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: Reminds me of the Wizard of Oz and Dorothy calling
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: out I DM in the middle of the hurricane. But
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: I love that it was she looked at me and
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: she was just like Auntie EM's. It's aunt EM's because
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: she's taken Indie to playgroup and all of her friends
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: have heard Indy call her aunt Em, so now they
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: call her Auntiems.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: That's just her name, that's her name.
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: So we show up to her social group and it's
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: Auntie m Auntiem's here.
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: So this is just this really cute little thing that
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: we get to do together.
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: And we started brainstorming about all the different projects that
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: we could do and how we might navigate this little
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: business that she will come So how.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: Much you're going to sell these microwave bowl holders for?
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: I think anywhere between fifteen and twenty dollars?
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: All right, So, I mean, I'm just gonna put out
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: there on the podcast if you want to be Auntie
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: EM's first customer. Email Ers podcasts that happy family.
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: We have to put an add up on the social
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: post can see what she's made.
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: But I'm so.
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: Proud of her. Number one, I'm so proud of her
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: because this is a new skill that she's learning. But
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: number two giving her an outlet that takes her away
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: from the screens. But it is a different kind of
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: creativity than she's ever.
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: Had before, getting her off the screen. But being creative,
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: being productive.
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: And having something tangible at the other end that you'll
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: actually share with other people.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: Brilliant, love It Okay podcasts at Happy Families dot com
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: dot au. If you would like to get one of
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: Auntie EM's microwave bowl holders, let's make it. How much
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: fifteen bucks? Sure, fifteen bucks plus postage. Yeah, email us
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: your details and we'll get in touch with you and
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: we'll figure out how to do that. That would be
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: fun for Emily to get some orders through. What else
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: is she making? Oh, you know what you should do?
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: You should do some wheat bags. She's already done week bags.
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: That was her very first protest.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: So how much we're selling the wheat bags for? No, seriously,
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: let's do it quick. How much are the wheat bags?
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: Twenty bucks?
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: They're twenty they're quite big. They're actually good size.
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: One right, they're going to cost a lot to post
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: as well. They're a bit weighty. Yes, all right, if
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: you're interested, send us an email. M will be stoked
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: and maybe maybe you can start paying bored, Maybe maybe
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: you can she can start paying her way. All right.
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: That's our take our message for today. Get the kids
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: off the screens, get them doing productive things. But if
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: they're going to be on a screen, watch Toy Story
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: five with them or have them learn how to do
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: grandma hobbies.
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: I think the take home though, is she gets to
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: do it with me, and that's actually where the joy
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: is the involvement. Yes, she's really excited about learning from me.
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: Have a great weekend. The Happy Family's podcast is produced
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: by Justin Rulan from Bridge Media. Mim Hammond's provides additional
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: admin support for the pod. Hey, next week, what if
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: this was the last time you brushed your child's hair.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: We're going to be talking about that on Monday. Or
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: maybe the last time you strapped them in the car,
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: or maybe the last time you have an evening meal
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: with them. What would that mean for you? That's our
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: conversation on Monday. Plus, we're going to talk about what
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: to do when your kids view disturbing content online. That
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: and a whole lot more. The Happy Famili's podcast back
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: next week. Have a great weekend.