Latest / The Hauraki Big Show / THE DISCLAIMER: Keyzie On The Move

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THE DISCLAIMER: Keyzie On The Move · The Hauraki Big Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast,
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok, or
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Raw Dog It, four to seven every weekday on Radio Hodak.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: G'day, fellas.
• 0:18
  Speaker 3: Hello.
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: God almighty.
• 0:21
  Speaker 4: Fellas, I saw a scene today. I don't know if
• 0:24
  Speaker 4: this is for the radio, so we'll do it here.
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: Is it what you messaged through? Yeah.
• 0:29
  Speaker 4: I think that's... That's right around the corner from our office, Keezy. Oh, yes.
• 0:32
  Speaker 4: And there's a couple of strippers there. One is your showgirls. Yes.
• 0:36
  Speaker 4: And the other one is something else. Outside there, I
• 0:41
  Speaker 4: was walking past my daughter once, who was six at
• 0:43
  Speaker 4: the time, and she said, what are those ladies? Because
• 0:47
  Speaker 4: there's pictures of the ladies, you know? Yes. They have
• 0:49
  Speaker 4: a couple of photos there. There might be a couple,
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  Speaker 4: sort of two, there's a pole in between them and
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  Speaker 4: they're both leaning up back to back and then another
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  Speaker 4: one's sort of You know, looking at the camera, et cetera,
• 0:59
  Speaker 4: et cetera. It's good stuff there, Keezy.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: You're turning Keezy on, you know this, eh?
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  Speaker 4: And my daughter said, are they singers? I said, no,
• 1:10
  Speaker 4: they're dancers.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: Yes.
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  Speaker 4: And she said, oh, they're really young. And in fact,
• 1:18
  Speaker 4: they are. They look quite young. Too young.
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: Yes.
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  Speaker 1: Yes.
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  Speaker 4: And anyway, so today I was walking to my car
• 1:23
  Speaker 4: park there and saw what I thought was a lady
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  Speaker 4: standing there having a look at these photos and these
• 1:31
  Speaker 4: posters outside. And then I thought, oh, no, I think
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  Speaker 4: it might be a dude. Anyway, he was giving himself
• 1:34
  Speaker 4: a hand shandy. He was giving it. How far away
• 1:39
  Speaker 4: from that? Standing two feet away from the wall in
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  Speaker 4: front of one of them had really taken his attention. Oh, yeah.
• 1:49
  Speaker 4: And then every now and again he'd sort of Move
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  Speaker 4: his head out and away. You know the head movement
• 1:54
  Speaker 4: you make when you try and look around the corner?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
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  Speaker 4: That one. You do that one. Have a look at
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  Speaker 4: the other one over there.
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  Speaker 3: And there were people around. Yep. Didn't care.
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  Speaker 4: I'd go for it. Absolutely go for it. So I
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  Speaker 4: stood there and I watched him to see how he
• 2:07
  Speaker 4: liked it.
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  Speaker 3: And you were doing the same thing?
• 2:09
  Speaker 4: And I was jerking and watching him give himself a handshake.
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: Boom.
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  Speaker 4: How do you like that?
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's good stuff. That's good stuff.
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  Speaker 4: Maybe there is a way to get that onto the
• 2:19
  Speaker 4: radio show.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:21
  Speaker 4: And then I went into the parking garage and I
• 2:22
  Speaker 4: came down five stories and I pushed the button to
• 2:27
  Speaker 4: open the door and who should walk past? Old mate.
• 2:31
  Speaker 4: Old mate. He's all finished up.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: Yes.
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  Speaker 4: He's done for the day.
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  Speaker 3: Left his leavings.
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  Speaker 4: In his pants. In his pants. He was wearing shorts
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  Speaker 4: and he seemed to have, I'm wondering if he was
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  Speaker 4: flogging a dead horse, to be honest with you.
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: Yes.
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  Speaker 4: Because it wasn't the kind of, the action that I'm
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  Speaker 4: familiar with. You know what I'm saying? Mogi.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: Mogi.
• 2:53
  Speaker 4: It's more like he was tucking his shirt in repeatedly.
• 2:57
  Speaker 4: You know that?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 4: Tuck it in, tuck it in, tuck it in, tuck
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  Speaker 4: it in.
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  Speaker 3: Are you sure it was a dude?
• 3:01
  Speaker 4: Oh, yes.
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  Speaker 2: And I told you about a similar thing right outside
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: our apartment. It couldn't have been a more public spot. Yes.
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  Speaker 2: And my wife was like, I got home and my
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  Speaker 2: wife had been going, she thought he was doing something else.
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  Speaker 2: He was standing right next to the apartment in a
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  Speaker 2: little circle there, absolutely going like the clappers.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: Now there's a main, there's a path to his left
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  Speaker 2: and a, you know, and a path, open path up
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  Speaker 2: to him. And there's a massively busy path right next
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  Speaker 2: to him on his right hand side.
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  Speaker 4: Kia kaha.
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  Speaker 2: And he is just flagging the show. shit out of himself.
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  Speaker 4: You've got to say that you're in such a state
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  Speaker 4: of need.
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  Speaker 2: Well, and.
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  Speaker 4: That you're in the middle of the street, unbelievable.
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  Speaker 2: But the reason that I bring it up with you
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  Speaker 2: is because of what you just said there, which was
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  Speaker 2: it didn't look, what he was doing didn't kind of
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: seem to look right.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's right.
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  Speaker 2: Because this guy was the same. It was like, what is.
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: Going on there? Chances of it being the same guy.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, Kai. But.
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  Speaker 3: A guy that beats off in public and has a
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  Speaker 3: weird action.
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  Speaker 2: And he was definitely beating off. It was no, because
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  Speaker 2: initially my wife was like, oh, God, is he just
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: going for a piss right on the path there? No, no.
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: And was he doing the shirt tuck in?
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  Speaker 2: No, he was just going like the clappers and looking
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  Speaker 2: left and right. And people were walking past. So, I mean,
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: what does it matter if you look left and right?
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  Speaker 4: Maybe he was looking for inspiration.
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: Horaki Big Show, weekdays from 4 on Radio Horaki.
• 4:39
  Speaker 5: Oh, g'day, Matt.
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: Oh, hi, mate, yeah.
• 4:42
  Speaker 5: Look, if you want the chance to win all our
• 4:44
  Speaker 5: on-air competitions and stuff and get amongst the live conversation,
• 4:50
  Speaker 5: tune in to the Horaki Big Show, four to seven
• 4:53
  Speaker 5: weekdays on Radio Horaki and iHeartRadio.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: The Hauraki Big Show Podcast. And I had another woman. No,
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to get into that one.
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  Speaker 1: What?
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  Speaker 2: No, no.
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  Speaker 3: Come on, Jase, man.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: No, no, there was a woman.
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  Speaker 4: It's a podcast.
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  Speaker 2: There was a woman walking past shouting stuff out, just
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: shouting at the top of her voice.
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  Speaker 4: Oh, you told us this one.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I was like, what is she saying? What
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: is going on there? I won't tell you what she said.
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  Speaker 4: Right.
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  Speaker 2: But let's just say it was of a sexual nature.
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  Speaker 5: Oh, wow.
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  Speaker 3: Can you paraphrase it?
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  Speaker 2: Broadcasting to the world.
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  Speaker 3: Paraphrase it.
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  Speaker 2: She was shouting out that she was in a high
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  Speaker 2: state of arousal.
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: Don't say good eating after that.
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: I went for a fish today, fellas.
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: Oh, how'd you go?
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  Speaker 2: It was funny because it was high tide 1020.
• 5:49
  Speaker 4: Your mate down there?
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  Speaker 3: Did you cow it out?
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  Speaker 2: And I was lying in bed at about eight going, ah.
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  Speaker 3: Fuck this.
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  Speaker 2: I can't be fucked.
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  Speaker 3: Same thing you feel before golf as well?
• 5:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it is. At what time? Eight. You're lying in
• 6:02
  Speaker 4: bed at eight.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, I was being late. Well, my wife left early
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  Speaker 2: because she had to go to work. I was just
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  Speaker 2: reading and, you know, just flicking through the phone there,
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  Speaker 2: looking at the YouTubes.
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  Speaker 4: Buzzies, et cetera.
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  Speaker 2: Buzzies, et cetera. And I went, no, no, I'm going
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  Speaker 2: to do this. So I had to walk up and
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  Speaker 2: go and get my car, drive her back down, load
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: it up. And I was like, oh, this is all G.
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: This is good stuff. Got to the top of Nelson
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  Speaker 2: Street there, and it was blowing a fucking gale. And
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  Speaker 2: I was like, jeez, a bit windy.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: Got down there.
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  Speaker 1: Bit windy, yeah.
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  Speaker 2: Got down under the Harbour Bridge there, and it was
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  Speaker 2: absolutely blowing. So I fished for about five minutes and went, actually,
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  Speaker 2: this is really unpleasant because, you know, it was that strong,
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  Speaker 2: white caps everywhere.
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  Speaker 4: I'm not going to do this.
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  Speaker 2: Packed her all up and came home.
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  Speaker 4: Bugger that, eh? Yeah, man.
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  Speaker 3: So it's twice now that you've sort of dropped nuts. Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a bit of a shame, but that's fishing.
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  Speaker 4: That's fishing for you, Keezy, man.
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  Speaker 3: That's fishing. Them's the breaks.
• 6:59
  Speaker 4: Them's the snow breaks.
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: So I spent like two hours today, Mogi, living your
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  Speaker 3: old life of being a furniture remover. Oh, yeah. Fucking hell,
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  Speaker 3: it's a pain in the ass.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, it keeps coming. The worst thing about furniture removal
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  Speaker 4: is when you're a furniture removalist is the job's never done.
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  Speaker 4: You do one house, then you do another one.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, you're right.
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  Speaker 4: Then you do another one.
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  Speaker 3: There's no stand back at the end.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's not like you've never achieved anything because there's
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  Speaker 4: another one to do and another one.
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
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  Speaker 4: And people's worst nightmare is your job.
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  Speaker 2: Yes.
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  Speaker 4: What they hate the most, you do every day, three
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  Speaker 4: times a day. But not only that, you have.
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  Speaker 2: To go and, you know, the furniture you've just chucked in,
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  Speaker 2: you've got to go and chuck out again.
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  Speaker 4: That's right.
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  Speaker 2: It's a double whammy.
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  Speaker 3: Well, I've got Mania to come help me.
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  Speaker 4: Faster taking it off. Fuck yeah, it is. Much faster. Yeah, totes.
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  Speaker 3: But got Minaya to come help me. He was good help, actually.
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  Speaker 3: I could tell he'd moved a few things before.
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  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah.
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  Speaker 3: And I was thinking, if I had asked any of
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  Speaker 3: you guys to help, who would have actually helped?
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: I'm feeling a bit woozy at the moment, so probably
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  Speaker 2: not me.
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  Speaker 3: I think Mike and Pugs would help.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm a helper.
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: And I don't think you.
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  Speaker 2: Would, Jase.
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  Speaker 4: I think it's one of the great, I think it's
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  Speaker 4: one of, if you can't say no to somebody that
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  Speaker 4: asks you to move, help move.
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  Speaker 2: But the thing was, like, I'm deeply offended by that.
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  Speaker 3: You wouldn't have come and helped.
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  Speaker 4: You wouldn't have, mate.
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: Well, you'll never know because you didn't ask, did you?
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: Well, I know because I didn't have to ask because
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: I knew what the answer was.
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  Speaker 2: Look. I may not be a fan of the area
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  Speaker 2: you're living in, and it may have brought back some
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: nightmares for me going back there, but I would have helped, man.
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  Speaker 1: What if?
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  Speaker 2: In terms of directing you as to where to put
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  Speaker 2: it and how to stack it.
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  Speaker 3: To make you feel more at home, what if I
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  Speaker 3: just stood in public beating off?
• 8:37
  Speaker 4: Would that? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because that makes me feel really at home.
• 8:41
  Speaker 4: People just beating off in the public.
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: The crazy thing is about moving house is I got–
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  Speaker 3: Ten large tubs, containers with a lid, sustainer things, from
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  Speaker 3: my parents' friend who moved house recently. They're like, oh,
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  Speaker 3: I've got all these containers. Take them. Ten of them
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  Speaker 3: with lids. My wife got 14 banana boxes, you know,
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: banana boxes?
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  Speaker 5: Yes.
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  Speaker 3: From a supermarket, and we still didn't have enough.
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  Speaker 2: Right.
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  Speaker 3: It's fucked how much stuff we've got.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: Like, it's fucked. Yeah.
• 9:09
  Speaker 5: Fucked.
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not good. I wrote an email to my
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: landlord today. Oh, my land agent.
• 9:16
  Speaker 4: Oh, yes.
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: Going, hey, what's going on?
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  Speaker 4: What's the plan there?
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  Speaker 2: Because I may have to move very shortly too.
• 9:22
  Speaker 4: How much time do you know that you've got? Or
• 9:25
  Speaker 4: when did you move in there?
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: Well, we've got till Feb.
• 9:28
  Speaker 4: So a bit of time.
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  Speaker 3: Bloody ages, man.
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: But if they come back and say, I actually know.
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: You have to start shopping.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: You have to start shopping around.
• 9:35
  Speaker 4: Well, you can't because the thing that you'll move into
• 9:37
  Speaker 4: won't be on the market for another four to six
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  Speaker 4: weeks before. You want to move out.
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  Speaker 2: That's right.
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: So it's a bit of a... Why would they say
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: no then?
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  Speaker 2: It could be a potential, you know, bloody balls up.
• 9:48
  Speaker 4: Could be a.
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: Massive balls up. Imagine moving back to me old hood.
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: You'd kick out your tenants.
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: Well, I would have to.
• 9:55
  Speaker 4: No, you wouldn't.
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: No, you wouldn't. You can't kick out your tenants just
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: because you bloody i think you quite literally can't.
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: Kick out your tenants well no you've got to give
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: them 90 days but also you need a reason and
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: we wouldn't do that too they're lovely people.
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: Do they listen to their last legs hey do they
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: listen to this i have.
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: No idea i know they listen to the radio show.
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: Oh yes Just because if one of them was listening
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: to this now, they're probably freaking out that you kicked
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: them out of their house. Little kids, eh?
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: If you are listening to this now and you are
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: my tenant, don't worry.
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: You're all good.
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: Okay?
• 10:26
  Speaker 4: That wouldn't make me feel any better.
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: Keezy just shit-steering there.
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: What? Me?
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: Come on, man.
• 10:35
  Speaker 4: Doos, doos, doos. Don't you love a Friday, fellas? Does
• 10:39
  Speaker 4: everyone feel like a lie down?
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: I feel like a lie down.
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: Doos, doos, doos.
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: It is Friday today, Jase, because remember yesterday was Thursday.
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, whatever, man.
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: Hey, listen to the big show, four to seven weekdays,
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: Radio Hauraki.
• 10:50
  Speaker 4: The big show.