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21: Monday Moment: Are You Scanning for Disqualification? · Banish the Lies: Outsmart Your Inner Critic

• 0:00
  Good Monday morning.
• 0:02
  Recently I was on the phone with someone I care about and they were going through something really hard and honestly, I didn't have any solutions.
• 0:11
  I didn't have any brilliant insights, no breakthrough advice, so I just listened.
• 0:18
  I reflected back what I heard.
• 0:20
  I stayed present, no judgment, just gave them my full attention, and later they messaged me to say how much they appreciated the conversation.
• 0:30
  But that actually surprised me because when I had hung up the phone, my first thought wasn't like, oh wow, that made a difference.
• 0:38
  My first thought was more like, you really didn't offer anything useful.
• 0:43
  And then the next thing you know, my brain started replaying the conversation, looking for what I did wrong, what I could have said and didn't say.
• 0:52
  Almost like if I can just figure out where I screwed up, I'd know what to fix next time.
• 0:57
  So I'll never have to feel this anxious feeling again.
• 1:01
  And that's when I noticed the pattern.
• 1:04
  My brain seems wired to look for reasons to disqualify my value and to be fair, that wiring probably helped me at some point.
• 1:14
  It made me attentive, it made me careful, conscientious.
• 1:20
  But lately I'm realizing something else.
• 1:24
  That same habit can also blind me to what is actually working.
• 1:30
  So instead of asking, you know, was that enough?
• 1:34
  Was that impressive enough?
• 1:36
  I'm trying to ask different questions like what inside that moment actually worked and what might I already be doing?
• 1:44
  Well that I'm overlooking.
• 1:48
  So let me ask you something.
• 1:50
  When does your brain start scanning for disqualification?
• 1:55
  Where do you start questioning yourself?
• 1:56
  The moment you share your feelings, speak up or say what you need.
• 2:01
  Maybe it's after you share an idea in a meeting or after you send a message and suddenly start wondering if you said too much.
• 2:10
  If that sounds familiar.
• 2:12
  Maybe pause today and ask, what might I be doing right that I'm not giving myself credit for, and am I spending more energy trying to disqualify my gifts rather than grow them?
• 2:28
  Just something to consider.
• 2:31
  And as always, I'm standing with you.
• 2:34
  Cheers.