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What Three Generations of Immigration Teaches Us About Resilience and Reinvention | 007 · The Midlife Pivot

• The Midlife Pivot Podcast: Welcome back to the Midlife Pivot. We can hardly believe that we're already at episode seven. Over the past six episodes, we've had the privilege of sitting down with some truly remarkable guests. We've heard honest stories about courage, reinvention, resilience, health, and what it means to begin a new chapter at any age. Each guest has shared something different, but they've all reminded us that a pivot doesn't have to be a dramatic moment. Sometimes it begins with a quiet realization that you're ready for something more or simply something different. Today we thought it was time to turn the microphones around and give you the opportunity to get to know us a little better, not only as your hosts, but as a mother and daughter. Navigating our own seasons of change. We'll be sharing more about our individual journeys, the pivots that have shaped our lives. And why creating this podcast together has become so meaningful to us. We've loved introducing you to our wonderful guests. And now we're excited to welcome you into a little more of our own story. So settle and join us as we reintroduce ourselves and share what the midlife pivot means to each of us. Welcome to the midlife pivot. Wow, it is pretty remarkable, Mom. had an idea, I was so intimidated with the thought of doing this. I mean, I had my previous podcast, it was I love it, I love doing it, I love being involved in the Peloton community. But this was something that was so important to me as I was kind of going on to this next chapter. And I remember you saying to me, you know, I have a voice. And I'd like to tell people and to bring people into this environment to be able to help them. And you weren't sure and you said, I don't know, Mom, will I be able to find the guests? And I said, You know what? Let's just try it out. I will do it with you. Yeah. We can't find guests, we'll tell our own stories. And that's where we went. Yeah, no, it is amazing. And I and I have to say we got exceptionally lucky because I think that the first four guests that we had on the show I think gave everybody that beautiful platform for us to launch and and share. And I think what's important for everybody to to recognize is whilst we have people that have absolutely pivoted in their lives and have had such remarkable pivots. I mean Brenda's story of her cancer journey and, you know, pivoting into what she then ultimately turned it into something in giving back to communities. You know, looking at Kristen's pivot and her experience was so remarkable in how she was able to take something that was so important to her and so meaningful to her and create something that's just as and I love the and versus the or, you know, or the or the but that she said. You know, looking at at Barbara. I mean, Barbara in herself is the most remarkable human being, and I am in awe of all she has created and done over these, you know, over these last few years. and then bringing somebody like Thalia into it who provided guidance and expertise and advice for people. I mean, I cannot believe last week how many people reached out to me and said to me, my goodness, Amanda. This resonates so much with me. I mean, it was beautiful to see that people really took the time to listen to what Thalia had to offer and really go with it. And that's how I felt. You know, that's how I felt when I spoke to her. I'll tell you, Amanda, I was in awe of these guests. I mean, I come from an older generation where, you know, these things weren't talked about. People didn't turn around and speak about your midlife or going through menopause or going to breast cancer diagnosis. You know that or spoke about it. Or spoke about it. Right. I remember when people said, you know, so and so has the big C. You know, it was like they were ashamed. But it's something that these people have shown that they have got strength through what they went through. No, and and I look at what Brenda's giving back to people. So she's shared her journey and now is able to use that painful experience. Yeah. Is on the other side of it, but can now share that journey, which is so unbelievably important. You know, I know somebody who's going through a bad time at the moment. And she called me and she said to me, You know Nisette, it was the most wonderful experience Hearing somebody going through what I am going through and giving me the courage to know that I can come through it and and still live and enjoy and whatever. They give you this courage and it's so good to hear from people. Yeah, yeah, and I'm excited. I'm excited. We have a lineup coming up of amazing guests that we'll continue to bring. Some of them have pivoted, some of them will give us advice. And I think that's what I just hope to continue doing. Yeah. I mean, being able to bring valuable information to folks each week that can just resonate. And it's not for everybody. Some episodes will mean more to some people than others will. I don't, you know, I don't expect It's a broad subject. You call it the midlife pivot, but it's a pivot in everybody's life. Right. Something that you've been through and can share with other people, giving them the courage to carry on. Yeah, no, I agree. I agree. Well, I guess what we said in the introduction was we did want to kind of reintroduce everybody to us. We gave a little bit of our background and how the two of us came to do this. And I think it would be nice for you. Everybody's interested in you, Mom. my goodness. Everybody everybody wants to know more from Nisset. And I do. I think you've had such a remarkable Life over these 85 years. And you have had many immigrational pivots from starting out. You shared a little bit about and people didn't know. I guess I maybe we never really shared it with anybody, but that you had lived in Egypt and that you were there. So let's go right back. Let's take it right back to you and share. You know, obviously I know the stories, but talk to me in ex kind of giving your perspective on how your life has really come into such a incredible full circle moment where you ultimately landed in America with your three children and your grandchildren and now your great grandson. But yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna let you I'm gonna let you talk to me. Well, you know, as I mentioned before, many people might not have heard it, I am the proverbial immigrant. I mean as a tiny baby we lived in Egypt. I was eight months old and my parents had very hard. You in you were in France at Yes. You were in France when you were s a baby, yes. As a baby. And because of the war, we emigrated to Alexandria, Egypt, where a lot of both my mother and father's family were living already through the pogroms, through Poland, through Turkey. My mother is a Sephardic Jew born in Constantinople and she had the most fascinating life. I mean we can get on with her life one day and people will be really fascinating she was the youngest of nine. She was the youngest of nine children with a mother who lost her husband in the mountains of Georgia. He was a tracker. He used to track furs. in the mountains of Georgia. my goodness. Yeah. You know, Georgia being part of Russia. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. And she lost her husband. He must have died while tracking I don't know the story that far back of my grandparents. But she came to Egypt with nine children and the my mother being the baby. And she must And then if I wanna just correct you. She came to Egypt. No, she came to France. No, no. Your grandmother. No, my grandmother went to Egypt. really? Yes, yes. before you guys? No, my mother went to France to study. Okay, you see, I you just taught me something new. I thought you were having a senior moment there for a minute. my goodness, I didn't know that. Egypt was a place that a lot of people, through pogroms, through all types of things, some went to Israel. You know, and started. But this was In the late 1800s. Hundreds, okay. Okay. My grandmother on my father's side, who basically was from Poland, the pogroms in Poland. This is I'm talking about my grandparents. Your grandparents. Right, okay. Okay. And they had the pogrims in Poland, and everybody, of course, the Jews were the first people to be terrorized, and they all landed in Egypt. Wow. But my grandmother on my father's side, okay, married somebody and went first to Palestine. Okay. It was Palestine then. Okay. We're giving everyone a bit of a history lesson here. Yes. Okay. And my father was born there. He was born in Jerusalem. Nineteen one, right? That's right. Yeah, that I knew. Actually nineteen five. okay. Nineteen five. Okay, okay. And he was born in Jerusalem. It was my grandmother's second marriage. Okay. When she was in Poland, she has married to somebody. I don't know the story there. Okay. But she had three children with that man. And where did they end up in the end? The United States of America. I know. Crazy. I mean when you think about it, that the the circle. Okay. Okay. So that was your father's side. That's my father's side. Mother's side. My mother's side. Was who had she was born in Istanbul. Okay. Constantinople. Okay, okay. And my grandmother my grandfather was a tracker. He was a tracker. He was a tracker. Okay, okay. And when he died she had these nine children. They in Turkey and things again, you know, there were all sorts of all sorts of battles going on with the caliph and eventually they said, No, we're going to leave Turkey. Turkey and we're going to go to Egypt. my goodness. Okay. All right. Got it. So we've got your mother's now moved with her with her great with her mother and the nine children to Egypt. Yes. Okay. Yes. And your father Pa he's in Palestine. He is in Palestine. Okay. Got it. And then he went to study. Okay. He went to study in France. Okay. He went to Lyon. Okay. And in Lyon at the university, he met my mother, who had gone to study midwifery. my goodness. Yes. Okay. I didn't know that. All right. Your grandmother was a middlewifer. my goodness. And she met him there and they were together for five years. But the trouble was she was a Sephardic Jew. Okay. And my father was an Ashkenazi Jew. Okay. Okay. So I don't know if people know stories, but Sephardic Jews and Ashkenazi Jews have never gelled. Okay. It's like a little bit of a spark. Okay. You know, between them. And and just so people can understand, so Sephard s Sephardic Jews came from the Mediterranean. They came from the Mediterranean. Whereas the Ashkenazi Jews came from Eastern Europe. That's right. Okay. Just so that for those of you that aren't familiar. And most of them originated in Spain and Portugal. Okay. So that's with the origin the start of the Seph Sephard Sephardim. Okay. Okay, so now we're talking about they met in they met in Lyon, they went to university together. They went to the university and my mother worked in France and my father as well. He had a a job with the Compagnie du Gaz, which is the gas company, 'cause he was an electric an electrical engineer. Okay, okay. So when the war broke out in nineteen well, the war broke out in thirty three, but in nineteen forty one, my mother was pregnant. Okay. So they had gotten married, so they date whatever. How old was your mom when she married him? Do you was she as young as you? It was in her late twenties when she married him. And they got married and was it accepted by the family since it was an Ashkenazi? That's why they lived most of the time away from the family. got it. Okay. So when they eventually got to Egypt and they got back There was a lot of friction. Interesting. A lot a lot of friction. And let's I'm gonna take you back because I know we're all over the place. But so now we're gonna go back to Egypt, but you guys were living in France, you were just born, you were a few months old, 1940s, you were born in 1941, and you saw the writing on the wall, and your father said, because he was doing this, he was kind of doing this local. He was working with had a said, Okay, no, you can't stay here, you have to leave. It's 1941. They've already invaded France. They're already in Paris. Okay. Now it's time for you to leave. Take your babies. And they managed to get laissez-passer. Laissez-passer were like it's not a passport, like allowing you to leave. Like a temporary like a temporary visa. Tempre visa. Tempre visa. Okay. And we went to Marseille. And from Marseille we went to Egypt. And there my father was very successful. He worked we lived in Alexandria. my God. It's funny that I should say that, but it is really the most beautiful city. Egypt as a whole, I wouldn't call beautiful. Okay. But Alexandria as a city, beautiful, on the ocean, and there were a lot of Jews at the time in Egypt. So yeah, so interesting. Huge, huge population of Jews. Very well accepted by King Farouk, who was the king at the time. Okay. He loved the Jews. my as a matter of irony and all of that. Yes. As a matter of fact, my father as a hobby took up magic. He did, he decided he was going to be a magician as a hobby. So he took up magic and eventually he actually got a certificate as a master magician. I know. Now a master magician has to have yearly Qualification. Every year he's gotta produce a new trick. Okay. Himself in order to maintain serious. Yes. To maintain the card that says You're a master. Okay. So he did. He invented a trick which was two pieces of metal with grooves in them so that you could put elastic bands when closing them. Okay. Right through. You know. And he would say to you pick a card. He would take a card. He would cut a piece off from the card, okay? And he would say, hold on to this piece. Hold on to this piece. I don't exactly know what happened where, but the next thing, He put the full card in these two pieces of metal, bound it up with elastic bands on both sides, okay, and gave it to the next person. It says, open it. And if you opened it, you would find the card, the piece missing. And the piece in your hand that you could put that would fit the card. Unbeliev I mean today there's a lot of ways that they still do this. Of course, of course. But think about this is in the nine you in the early nineteen I mean nineteen nineteen forties. And he presented it to the king. my goodness King Farouk was yeah, he loved that loved that kind of thing. my god, women and song and drank champagne out of people's shoes and shoes. So anyway. He went and he presented him the trick. And he was so taken up with him. He thought he was a genius. How did you do this? How did you but anyway it kept and and what I remember about Grandpa is he was he was such a personality. He had such a beautiful I mean I was what, I was six when he died. Five or six. But he I do remember that beautiful personality and with that accent. He had that French accent of what he used to call you La Grande Bouche. You know what that is? Yes. The big mouth. And it hasn't changed. I still have a big mouth. He used to say look at her. She smiles with everything, with her eyes, with her teeth. He used to call you La Grande Bouche. I'm gonna tell my dermatologist that because when he when I said to him, is it time for me to have Botox? Which now I've decided, as we spoke about with Thalia last week, like no Botox for me. My dermatologist said to me, Amanda, you love to smile. I'm gonna take that away from you. But I'm going off track, but that makes me think of it. All right. So Grandpa Grandpa Jacques knew that back in Pasha. 50, 50 years. And I remember when I was y when I was young and dating, I I dated very young. I was fifteen and a half and I was dating. And The guys used to come and pick me up and waited their what? My father. Monsieur Ben, Monsieur Ben. I see the I sit. And they used to sit down and they used to do tricks with him and they used to talk to him. And I waited until they finished with my dad so that they could take all right, so go back, let's go back to Egypt. Okay, so now you've so now you guys have moved to Egypt. Grandpa's this fa this famous magician. well, I mean excuse me, not everybody gets to t perform tricks to the king. okay. And and Well Uncle Albert was then born. Yes. Your brother was born. Four years later. And when my brother was four and now he's ten. If that was in nineteen fifty. No, he must have been six. Aren't there four years between you guys? Yes. So he must have been six. he was six. Yeah. Okay, you're right. Yeah, yeah. There's four years between us, that's what I mean. Yes, yes, See what happens when you're eighty five. It's okay. You're doing great. As it is, I failed math. So Okay, so that's where I get it from. Yeah. I fell. Okay, well I now I understand why I was so bad at math. So yes, I was in Egypt and I was Uncle Albert was six, you were you were ten. When we left, yes. But before that, okay I mean we were very, very happy in Egypt. My father had a wonderful job. He was actually head of La Compagnie du Gaz and You know, it was it was a life life. We had a normal life, yeah. Jew on the Mediterranean. Jews and Arabs, you know, we're like one. There was no you know, there was anima yeah, there was no animosity. No animosity. And then of course the time came. But what happened politically in Egypt? How did that change where Egypt suddenly started when the king was deposed? Okay. There was a revolution. Against the king itself. Okay. So he was basically the ruler. There wasn't like a prime minister or they were, of course. There's the bees. As a matter of fact, my one aunt, one of my mother's eight siblings. Yes. My one aunt married one of the they called them the bay. The bay B-E-Y was like a duke. Okay. He was hierarchy. Okay. And she married an Arab, she married the bay. And they had a wonderful little girl daughter called Zizet. Okay, I remember you talking about Zizet. They had a wonderful daughter, and then the moment the revolution came about, you know, and General Naguib, he was the one who decided, yeah, he was the one who decided that no, we can't have a king. We have to get rid of the king. And they did. They deposed the king. He went off to live in France. Okay. And with his whole entourage, his one sister actually, I think she was married to the Shah, the Shah of Persia. Okay. Yeah. And he was deposed. And the t and then the tide took over. Okay. And then there was there were the bombs and there was the shooting and there was it wasn't a good place anymore. at that time they started being against the Jews. It was the time when all the Arab countries decided to get rid of the Jewish population. Okay. I mean Iran and Iraq. So many ranges. Absolutely. And they were hierarchy, they were very presentable people. And when the time came that they said that's it. And all the Arab countries decided out. And and this is what happened. So my father said no. We can't live here anymore. So I backtrack. He had two sisters. My father and his two sisters. Well, remember, so there were the two sisters from the one from your grandmother's second marriage. Yes. Yes. But then he also had the family from the first marriage. Marriage from the first marriage. Resulted in how many? He never went to Egypt. No, they went to America. They went to America. Okay. And And how what happened? My one cousin in America even fought in the World War Two for the United States. really? Yes. He was in the Battle of Normandy. wow. Yeah. Okay. So they were their name was Goldstein. Okay. So Okay. So the Goldsteins were Cape Cards. Goldstein went to America, they never came to Egypt. Okay. But BEM. The BEMs, my father and his two sisters were were in Egyptian. Okay. And my one aunt was very, very beautiful. And during the war, we had the South African soldiers who were in Tobruk, which is right next to Alexandria. They were based there. And this was the infantry that went to battle in Italy. Okay. When the when the war was really on, and they they were the Italian group from South Africa. And they used to come to Alexandria often, and they used to bring with them silk stockings to Lure women and so on, you know, they would come to Alexandria, sit in the cafes and have these beautiful silk stockings. And my two aunts, although they were very religious, but they always went together. They were chaperones. Okay. And they met two South African soldiers. So they introduced them, and of course they were Ashkenazi. Okay. And so that was good. Right. They came from Russia originally the family. So my grandmother, who was very religious, she used to wear a shatel, you know, a wig wig. She really came from a religious family. And she said, You can't just go out with these people, you've got to get married. she refused to let them go with them. Yes. They had to get married. So the two of them, the one was twenty one, I think they were both twenty one. My uncles. Were one My uncle Max and my uncle Mike were both 21 South African soldiers in Tobruk. And they proposed to they proposed to my, my aunt said no, you know, we're not allowed to go out and so on. So they proposed to my aunt. Now the story is my one aunt was 40 at the time. Oh my goodness. And the other aunt was about 38, 37. But these guys were in their twenties, did they look that young? They were both in... my aunts were beautiful. Both of them really were absolutely gorgeous. And they both got married to these South African soldiers in Egypt. Never telling Max and Mike how old they were? No, no, they did not tell them how old they were. The only time... Hope you've grabbed your coffee and tea and are really enjoying this. I am. I haven't heard all of these stories. The only time that Max found out about my aunt but being twenty years older than him. Yes. Okay. Was when she was dying of Alzheimer's. And he went to the doctors and he said to the doctors, How can she have Alzheimer's? She's too young. And the doctor said, well, she actually genetically is not too young. And that makes sense now probably why she couldn't get pregnant. She couldn't get pregnant. She couldn't get pregnant. They ended up adopting. But now that makes sense why she adopted because my goodness. I have shivers. And he never knew. And he adored her, adored her till the day she died. Yeah. He used to sing. She used to sing to him. Maxie is the boy for me. Always knew that And I remember Mom, he wasn't the most attractive man though. God he was he was attractive. He was very lucky to have gotten her because he was really one of our I do remember us going to I very, very, very vague memories. I don't have much memories but big moustache under his nose. And that big he had a big boop, a big he was a very good looking man at twenty one. Short was he. short but very good looking. Wow. All right. So now so those them. So now they've moved to South Africa. Living in South Africa. How long before you guys Was it a while before? They they got married in well when did the war end? Forty four, forty four. Yeah, forty five. Yeah. Forty four. They all went back to South Africa. Okay, so that's when they went. Yeah. Okay. That's when they went back. And we we were still there. And we left in nineteen fifty. Yeah. Yeah. So nineteen fifty. Fifty one. Fifty fifty one. You were almost ten. It's time for us to go. So that's the next immigration. Talk about pivoting. You know? So that was so then and and I remember always remember the story that you said was that you kind of had put your papers in for South Africa and you had put your papers in for America. Yes, yes, exactly. And my uncles said, you've got to get out. You've got to come to America. And anyway. Papers, the visas came. The story that I always remember was Granny saying to me that the day that you guys were getting on the boat to go to South Africa, you got this visa the visas around for America. And and you said, What do we do? And grandpa said, Well, they're waiting for us in South Africa. We go to South okay. Okay. And we went to South Africa. And that's when you went to South Africa. So at that point, it could have pivoted where you ended up in America. Exactly. I wouldn't be here for you to tell the story. But okay, so you went to South Africa. And my poor mother, who could not speak a word of English, was so miserable. She spoke Ladina. She spoke French. But when it came French, she spoke Latino. She spoke Arabic. And she spoke Hebrew. Yeah. Italian. Yeah. But she hadn't learned English yet. I guess you had no reason to. And I will tell you little stories. When she was living in South Africa at the very, very beginning. We first lived in a little country town called Picketburg. Okay. Tiny little place in Picketburg. And my mother hated it. Can you imagine? I mean, when we lived in Egypt, they would go to Beirut for their vacations, they traveled all over the world and Alexandria was a very beautiful place. And then they came to this little town with a little mountain, with little monkeys on the mountain. Yeah. And my father traveled a lot there. He had because he joined the job that he got there was working for the fishing company. Okay. He was an engineer with the different factories that he went to. So he Would leave her alone with us and my aunts in Pickenberg. And you what did you speak? What language did you speak? Did you learn English in school? I went to the Scottish school for good. Okay, so you had you would learn English. So you spoke Arabic and you spoke English. And French, obviously. French and Italian. Because my parents spoke Italian sometimes at home too. Especially if they didn't want us to understand. Okay. Wow. All right. All right. All right, so now we're in South Africa. now we're in South Africa. And in Pickettburg. Yes. And I now have to Which is just outside of Cape Town, right? Yeah, it's a it's a couple of hours, but I'm saying that for people just from a geographic perspective, it's just outside of Cape Town. Yes. It's west up. Going up west from the Cape. And it's in the Cape. And had to go to school there. And there was one school and the school had one classroom from sub A, you know what you mean? First grade. First grade to grade six. All in one place. Right. So here I was, ten years old, together with my brother, who was six years old. And then there were these guys who could matriculate all in the same class. There were two kids who were doing this, three kids that were doing that. Okay. So and I had come from a very, very prestigious school in Egypt. Okay. Right. It was called the School for S the Scottish School for Girls. Right. So I really had learned languages when I was there. So you were very advanced. I was very advanced. Yeah. So Except for your math. Except for my And I must say that it was very, very it wouldn't say boring, it it was pulled me. No, you die. Yes, right. Academically there wasn't much for you to advance with. But then a year and a half later we moved from Pickettburg to Cape Town. Okay. Because my father had become a manager and one of the big shots in the company. So we went to live in Cape Town. And in Cape Town I went to school. We lived in Seapoint in Cape Town. And if anybody's been traveling to we get to Cape Town, and my mother has a beautiful apartment, but she still can't speak English. Really? Yes. Spoke very little. So you know, we didn't have supermarkets at the time. I'm talking now the 1950s. Yeah. Yeah. So we used to go to the corner store next to the apartment. And now she wanted to buy milk. And she would say to what was her name? Mrs. Bass owned this little shop. How do you remember this, Mom? I mean, I that's amazing. Well, those are things that left a good impression on me. Yeah. You know? Eventually I had to go with my mother, because I spoke English to tell them what she wanted milk. She would go to Mrs. Bass and she would say, bout du lait, s'il vous plaît. And she would say, Huh? And she'd say, You know Moo and Bouteille and Mrs. Bass would say, you want milk. my goodness. You know, or I'd never forget, she found a cockroach in the kitchen one day and she was mortified. And she went to Mrs. Bass and she says, S'il vous plaît. The woman didn't know what she was talking about. She wanted to The poison. right. And they used to po put the poison in a metal thing and they used to cover it right, right. Well, until she got that right was a big my god, that's hysterical. And it worked on her. I mean, it was very hard for this woman. Very hard for my mother to be able to adapt. Were you close to her? My mother. my god, she was my best friend. I guess. I adored my mother. I mean she was. She was amazing. And not only me. Everybody who knew her. Everybody knew Mrs. Bear absolutely adored her. You know, I mean when she eventually started learning English and became a little bit proficient and so on, they would come from the Congo Belge, you know, to live in South Africa, or from Rhodesia and so on. And they needed to go, but they all spoke Ladina. They were the Sephardic Jews. Right. My mother would say, I'll take you to the doctor. Viens avec moi. They would go to the doctor and a little bit of English. She said they knew nothing. Right. Little bit of English that she knew. She spoke to the doctor. Then she would say, venez avec moi. And another thing my mother had, which is actually very cute, my mother used to read teacups. Yes. She was very superstitious. Coffee cups, yes. She was very, very superstitious. She could tell you your future like you can't believe. I think a lot of it was bubbe meise. Do you know what bubbe meise is? Nonsense. Yes. Yes. Yes. But they all adored, Madame Bem. They would come to her and they would say, Mrs. Bem, my husband is really not well. Leave it to be. I'm writing a letter to God. He will get better, I promise you. I do. I have I have do. I have wonderful wonder. I'm so fortunate to have had her and my girls are named after her. Yeah. Kayla was named after her, with her second name being Francine. Nicole's second name is also with an F faith, but she was named after Mark's Mark's dad. But in my heart she was named after Fortune. Fortunately Fortune. that's what Fortune. I guess Fortune yeah, yeah. Okay. And everybody called her Faufa. Amazing. And then when we came h when we came here People would say to me, What about four four? Fifi. No, not Fifi. Her name was Four Four. Yeah. Not Four Four. Four Four. Yeah. But again, and you and you stayed. I mean you stayed in South Africa. I remember. gosh, how how how old was she when she had her first stroke? You know, si sixteen. How old was she when she died? Do you remember? She died at seventy nine. Okay. And she had her first stroke, I think, when she was seventy three, 'cause she ha was sick for six years. Okay. Okay. Yeah, I mean so my whole life she was a very big part of my life. I remember we used to all my friends when we used to live in Milmerton, all my friends used to come stay over because we used to stay over at her f at her flat, at her apartment. Because she was the cool granny. Yes. She was the cool granny. And I remember, you know, through high school and whatever I would come in. If you went to a party and got drunk. No, she would say you'd protect me and she would hide the boys and all my friends. I mean I have I don't again, my memories unfortunately are so vague, but I do remember how we used to go to Granny Fourforth's apartment and because when that was when we still lived in Milmerton before we had moved to to to Fresno, to Sea Point. And and Granny was she was amazing, amazing. The memories are amazing. And yes, you were very, very close to her and you said you were not going to leave. You know, we had already started Lisa had moved to the States and then Warren came and I guess I remember that she couldn't come to the wedding. did I I remember when Michael said, You've got to come to America. You've got to come and I said, Not while my mother's alive. Yeah. Because she was already had the stress. Not what my mother's allowed. You s you visited her every single day. you were you were you were an amazing daughter. Yeah, but that's what one does. And that's what one does. That's what Andalia told us last week, you know, it's all about honoring your elders and and I think Europeans and you taught us that and hence the relationship, you know, I have with you is you taught me so beautifully. When you talk to even the Middle Eastern people they always say, your parents, you honor your parents. You do. As they get older, they they are the most important. Yeah. Mom, you've just shared the most incredible, incredible story. And I hope that I know that everyone's was ri we're riveted at the end of the day. I didn't know so much about priveting. No, it is. It's a beautiful story, and it's just so authentic. And that's what I love about you is that you're able to. Be such an amazing storyteller. And I know you'd we spoke on the very first episode how you had started to write this in a book. And I know that you had started and then I pulled you away from that to come and do this with me. I will write it because it's important for grandchildren to know. I know. And I hope that the kids, all you know, all the eight grandchildren listen to this podcast. I'm sure. Because they ask me questions to know all about this. And I will have this as a memory forever. Because a lot of what you shared, I I must be honest. Maybe you've shared it with me in the past and I didn't hear it or I don't think I shared everything. You know a little bit. But you know the ins and outs of what we were You know, it was it's it was hectic. Yeah. No, it was hectic and it just shows how you know how lives how lives have changed and and how one has to adapt to these new lives. And I think that's what we all do. We all do. And even my life coming to America, you know. Each place you go to, you know, it it's a complete pivot. Yeah. Complete pivot. Yeah. And then you may A laugh for yourself and be happy and amazing. Amazing. Well, I think we are pretty much it for the day. we shared amazing story with everybody, and I think that's what people do want to hear. So while we can bring them other people's pivots and we can bring them guidance into how their lives can pivot and what they can do. And and you know, a friend said this to me. said, you know what, Amanda, I feel like like I can't resonate with some of this, some of What you're sharing on the podcast, because you know, I didn't have a massive piffin in my life. I didn't, and you know what I said to her, and and I'm hoping that she'll come onto the show, but what I said to her is one doesn't have to have something specific that you are now going to do in your next chapter. Just being a mom to kids and then. Becoming an empty nester, that in itself is a pivot in one's life. And we want to address all those different things that people experience. So you know, you don't have to have this starting a business or being this, you know, entrepreneur or whatever everybody is. There are different pivots in lives that are just pivots too of people lose a partner. Right. People get divorced. Right. It's a huge change. Change in one's life and and how we will address that. If you can get that person to speak about it on our podcast. Correct. And recognize again, we say it every week, is being able to take the lemons and turning it into lemonades. Lemonade. And that's what we want to bring to you each week is being able to say. And look at this. I mean, look at the story that my mom just shared in being able to say that was there was certainly a lot of lemons in that story. And yet you made it into this remarkable life, a a remarkable story that you're able to share with Lots and lots of people. I won't say how many, but if you share us and you tell people about us, then lots and lots of people will get to hear about Nissette's journey from France to Egypt to Pickettburg to Cape Town and then to America. all right, folks. Well we are gonna wrap it up for this week. Mom, your story was amazing. There's plenty of time for me in between in between episodes of guests, amazing guests that we have on that I will share more about my life. But I think this was a nice kind of icebreaker. after having four phenomenal guests will be back with Amanda. People just have to listen to you. That's all they need. Because your heart is on your sleeve. You absolutely resonate everything inside of you. And that's a wonderful thing about you. You know, you're kind, you share, and you know, some people don't like sharing. They're people like for example, I know people are gonna say to me from my family are gonna say to me, Mom, you didn't have to say everything, but the thing is that I'm not ashamed of my life. And that is something that I love about you and I is that we do share so much of the same, is that we both have such very similar personalities. And yes, maybe I do share s too much sometimes. but you know what? I do it from a place of of support as you do. You know, you do it from a place of kindness and support and being able to be there for somebody in whatever, even though I'm dealing with my own struggles and my own, Pivots in my life, if I can be of support to somebody else who's been through the same journey or has gone through the same journey, that's what it's all about, folks. That's really what we what we hope to do as we progress with this podcast and just giving people a place to come and just feel comfortable and know that there are bumps in the road and there are journeys that we're all gonna go on, but we can make lemonade out of lemons. And Let me tell you something. I would love people to respond and say they would like to come on and tell their stories. Absolutely. You know? I mean they're such interesting people. So All of you. So let us know. Let us know. Follow us on Instagram. we're trying to get those Instagram numbers up. Follow us on Instagram. Make sure that you have, in fact, subscribed whether you listen to us on Spotify, watch us on Spotify, or on YouTube, Apple Podcasts. We have the most incredible producer that is producing this show, our producer Scott, who is out of the UK has been such a vital part in making this show what it is. And I can't thank him enough. And I want to give him the credit. I know it's at the end of this show, so I hope people are still around and listening. But He has been a lifesaver to me in creating something that I had a vision in what I wanted to do. My mom gave me the courage and the strength to do it, and here we are giving it to you. So a huge shout out to Scott in bringing us The Midlife Pivot. And from that, folks. Folks, we are going to say goodbye and we will see you next time.