Latest / Grounded Growth / How Wisdom Changes the Way You Make Decisions
Transcript
- Stephanie Petry: Hi, back, I'm Stephanie Petrie. Nicole Ghirardi: I'm Nicole Girardi. Stephanie Petry: Today's episode is all about how wisdom changes the way that you make decisions. We're gonna discuss why decisions feel so hard, what happens when we don't use wisdom, what wisdom actually is, simple ways to build wisdom into decisions, and then also how wisdom comes from God. Nicole Ghirardi: Information is everywhere, but wisdom is what helps you know what actually matters. Many women are not lacking options, ⁓ they are lacking the clarity. So maybe the real question isn't how to make perfect decisions, but how to make wise So... Steph, why do decisions feel so hard sometimes? Stephanie Petry: Well, I feel like that's because we want to get it exactly right. And so there's just so much pressure on on how are we making decisions and are we making the right decisions? So then sometimes it can prevent us from even making a decision. Sometimes makes us having decisions to please other people rather than use wisdom on our why. And ⁓ so don't see them as choices. ⁓ So see that it is like a defining moment for us to either be pushed forward or sometimes it even pulls us back. So when we care deeply about our life and our family and our calling, of course we wanna choose well, but sometimes we just need to take a beat and take a pause and realize like, what's requiring to make a decision right this second? ⁓ Is there time or some... based in there that we can think about it, prey on it, use some wisdom, think of our why, think how it's going to influence others around us and also affect our family before we actually make the decision. ⁓ oftentimes instead of slowing down, we tend to overthink. so analyzing every option, playing it out in every scenario, sometimes it ends up being like, Nicole Ghirardi: Hi, welcome to Grounded Growth Podcast. I'm Nicole Girardi. And I'm Stephanie Petry. We believe that grounded growth comes from being intentional about compassionate connections that are beautifully balanced while flourishing in faithfulness. Each week we will share real conversations, encouragement, and simple systems to help build a life that feels steady, aligned, and grounded. So sit back, maybe grab a coffee, and join us where clarity meets calm and growth feels intentional. Stephanie Petry: And I'm Stephanie Petry. We believe that grounded growth comes from being intentional about compassionate connections that are beautifully balanced while flourishing in faithfulness. Each week we will share real conversations, encouragement, and simple systems to help build a life that feels steady, aligned, and grounded. So sit back, maybe grab a coffee, and join us where clarity meets calm and growth feels intentional. Before we dive in, if you want to make sure you never miss a conversation, hit that subscribe or follow button. almost preventing us from even using the wisdom. Like sometimes the wisdom behind it is more than just playing out all the scenarios. Then we're causing ourselves anxiety. That's not wisdom either. And so I think we just have to learn, like sometimes you're not gonna make the right choice and you're gonna have to learn from that. constantly running through every scenario is also not wise. So like even just asking yourself, Nicole Ghirardi: Before we dive in, if you want to make sure you never miss a conversation, hit that subscribe or follow button right now on whatever app you're listening on. Stephanie Petry: right now on whatever app you're listening on. What if I make the wrong choice? You're going to make it through. You're going to get through it. And then you live and learn. So that fear can keep us in that place of hesitation rather than moving forward. Nicole Ghirardi: Yeah, and I think oftentimes we feel the pressure to get the decisions exactly right, like you said, where, you know, even when every decision ⁓ so high-staking, ⁓ the small choices start to feel really exhausting. And that's when I know for myself the perfectionism really gets in the way and tells us there's only one right answer. ⁓ you for joining us for another episode of Grounded Growth. We hope today brought you clarity, encouragement, and a gentle reminder that you're not walking this journey alone. If this episode spoke to you, we'd love for you to share it, subscribe, and leave a review. We'll see you next week. Until then, Stephanie Petry: Thank you joining us for another episode of Grounded Growth. ⁓ We hope brought you clarity, encouragement, and a gentle reminder that you're not walking this journey alone. If this episode spoke to you, we'd love for you to share it, subscribe, and leave a review. We'll see you next week. Until then, Nicole Ghirardi: And when often there are several wise paths moving forward, we only can see that there's only one and one only. And that too many options create what you were talking about is that analysis paralysis. And so, you know, the more options we have, the harder it becomes to commit to any one of them. And, you know, that stay grounded and keep growing. Stephanie Petry: stay grounded keep growing. Nicole Ghirardi: perfectionism then has to pick out all of the things and thinking that, okay, well, none of these are it. I have to create this whole new, wise solution when we already had it in front of us. And that causes that decision fatigue. And it's a real thing that we constantly see and it hits the hardest when our mental load is already at the full capacity for us. And I think that a lot of it is that, like you said, that fear of making mistakes and the fear is what delays our actions and that, you know, we had a plan of action and that, you know, we have our purpose and our knowing our why, like you said, but we can't get focused when we're avoiding the wrong choice that we have to stop. Stephanie Petry: . Nicole Ghirardi: and we stop moving altogether. And that's just, know, we don't want to hit that brick wall, but that's what we're continuing to do when we allow that fear to get in control of us. And staying stuck in a decision too long, you know, it often costs us more than just the mistake that we would have made if we were just moving forward with it. And then lastly, I think that, you know, with high capacity women, with everything that we have going on, we often overthink Stephanie Petry: Okay. Nicole Ghirardi: because we care too much and that we care deeply that, know, caring deeply is a strength of ours. And, but the unchecked, when it's unchecked, it can turn into that analysis paralysis. And that's when the overthinking is often just love with no place to go. So we need to just redirect it into, you know, prayer and trusted counsel and God's word. to really then be able to hone in and really, you know, fine tune that, think. Stephanie Petry: And when you were talking about decision fatigue, that one rings very true to me, especially with this week that I've had. And so being able to realize that you have reached that limit of yours and you might need to allow yourself to let go of some expectations and remind yourself of what does really matter and what can you let go of and ask for help and let someone else take over and take care of. Even if it's not to your standard, someone else can do dinner for you that night, you know, or, you know, someone else can pick up the kids if that's going to be helpful for you to give you some time. So you just kind of have to reevaluate too in the midst of that when you're in that, you know, decision fatigue as you were talking about. And so when we're constantly making decisions from the place of pressure or overthinking, it doesn't just stay in the moment, it starts to affect how we show up in our lives what happens when don't use wisdom? Nicole Ghirardi: So I think the biggest thing I know with me is that the stress increases when decisions feel reactive. I'm a big firm believer we have to be proactive, not reactive. So then that way then we're staying on top of things. And when we become reactive, it's so stress high induced for us. And that reacting from the emotion creates more problems than it solves us. So when decisions are made in a rush, we often end up cleaning up their ripple effects later. that's we're making the wrong decisions because we're creating in that analysis paralysis like we talked about, but we're not really seeking the wisdom that we truly needed to seek in the first place. ⁓ We second guess ourselves ⁓ often. know I do. I am set and I plan and I feel like this is the purpose that I'm supposed to be due. And then I start second guessing it and then I start nitpicking it. And that's where the perfectionism comes into play. And without the wisdom as our anchor, we lean to more on how we feel in the moment, which then shifts us constantly. So because our feelings can change so drastically throughout the day, that that's what we're allowing to be our anchor instead of that wisdom. ⁓ And second guessing will quickly drain your energy and the confidence that you need to follow through. So that's when it's dropping where we like our confidence just feels like it's dropped. We ⁓ unsure of anything anymore. And that's when we completely go into la la land with all of our, ⁓ we have no idea and that there's not a solution and there's never going to be that solution. And that uncertainty. ⁓ feeds on itself, making every new decision feel heavier and heavier and heavier than the last one. And then when we become mentally exhausted from the constant decision making, that's when lose our values. without clear values, every small decision feels like you're starting from scratch again, because you're not leaning back into those values that are the foundation of who you are. And that mental weight carries into our relationships, our work, and even our rest throughout the whole week. Stephanie Petry: That's exactly where I was going to go with it is that, you know, we spend all this time talking about our priorities and our why and we are. We're trying to be women of purpose and intentionality and we wanna move forward towards our goals and who we are becoming and who we want to become that a lot of times when we start making emotional reactions instead of taking decisions with wisdom, we tend to be leading ourselves in a wrong direction or maybe not in the same direction that aligns with our goals. ⁓ So if we're not rooted in wisdom, decisions become reactive, as you've already said, instead of intentional. might say yes too quickly because we just want to help and we want to be that person that helps without actually considering if we have the time and resources to do so. it not even align with what matters most to us right now. Or sometimes we talked about how it delays your decisions ⁓ and that can be because of the unsureity or being overwhelmed. But really where it relies too heavily on our emotions, that's where the problem lies. So sometimes we can feel like our emotions in that moment are what takes us to that next step or that next direction, but they are important. Your emotions are important, but they're not always stable or consistent to guide you in where you should be going. So you need to take a pause, take a breath, notice that emotion because it's healthy too, but then also make sure you evaluate like why is this emotion happening and are you in the best frame of mind to be making decisions in that time? Because over time, that will lead you to frustration because it's not leading you to where you're wanting to be in the end. ⁓ And so we can feel like we're busy, but not necessarily moving in that direction that we want to go. sometimes it can even show up as regret, looking back and realizing that we made decisions based on pressure or expectations or obligation instead of clarity. And without wisdom, ⁓ decisions heavier than they were ever meant to be. ⁓ And need to allow some grace into those regrets as well. Notice them. you know, repent of them, ask if you need to get some forgiveness somewhere along the way. And again, learn from from the mistakes that you've made. Nicole Ghirardi: 100%. And I think this is where we sometimes misunderstand wisdom because wisdom isn't about knowing everything. It's about knowing what matters most. So what wisdom actually is, is I think super important for us. So Steph, kind of dive into that. Stephanie Petry: So wisdom is not just knowledge, and this is a really big topic, okay? So this is just my quick little take, but wisdom is not just the knowledge, it's also knowing how to apply truth in real life. It's not about being perfect or never making mistakes, it's making decisions that are aligned with truth, with your values, and with where God is leading you. ⁓ Wisdom brings clarity in the middle of complexity. So our lives are very complex and we have a lot of different responsibilities. But the wisdom is what's going to bring that clarity piece. So sure you're doing your resets, making sure that you are doing ⁓ the to reflect on that week and how it went. All of are going to bring you more clarity so that you can be more wise moving forward. It helps you to step back and ask better questions too. So wisdom is not just what do I want, but what is right and what is wise in this season. Because what you have said yes to in the past may ⁓ be what's wise right now in this season. And wisdom can also bring you a sense of steadiness. And so you're not reacting to life. Even when a decision is hard, there's a deeper peace when you're making it in wisdom because it's rooted in something stronger than emotions or pressure. And over time, wisdom shapes not just our decisions, but your direction. And just think of the example you are leading to with others in your circles of influence. Nicole Ghirardi: Mm hmm. ⁓ huh. Stephanie Petry: you're able to kind of demonstrate what does it look like when you're under pressure and how are you making those hard decisions, talk them out and process with somebody because they're gonna be able to learn from you taking a pause. They're gonna be able to learn from you saying no and those are really great things to kind of come alongside people in life with. Nicole Ghirardi: ⁓ piggybacking of what you said is that with the ⁓ and ⁓ being is I think wisdom is clarity and it's not the perfection. You don't need to know every outcome to make a wise choice. ⁓ You just to know what matters most to you and the purpose and your values and your why. ⁓ And that's where clarity frees us from the pressure of having everything figured out before we move on. And I think that wisdom is a lot about learning to pause before reacting. I think that we all have that where we want to immediately react to what's going on versus taking that deep breath and that pause. That's where get our perspectives. And that's where that perspective lives and the perspective where is where the wisdom grows for us. even a few seconds, minutes of stillness can completely change how we respond to something big. I think wisdom is understanding long-term impact. ⁓ And those wise decisions that we make weigh not just how something feels today, but how we shape tomorrow, how we shape next month, ⁓ and we really are shaping our lives for the purpose that we should be doing. Stephanie Petry: Thank you. Nicole Ghirardi: then of course, wisdom is choosing alignment over urgency. And that's a hard one for me because I feel like just because something feels urgent doesn't it's actually important. And that's where you have to be able to help keep that alignment ⁓ of us walking in the right direction of what we truly value, even when the piece feels really slow. Stephanie Petry: So if wisdom is what brings that kind of clarity and steadiness, the next question becomes how do we actually build that into our everyday decision making? Nicole Ghirardi: So I created kind of some simple ways that I do. ⁓ So the first one I do is slowing down decisions instead of rushing them. So Steph has taught me this ⁓ ⁓ my business coach has really taught me this briquet through work of ⁓ simple 24 hour pause before any big yes or no decisions can change an outcome entirely. You know, so we always think that we have to hurry up and give somebody an answer, but speed is what creates the pressure for us. So the slowness creates space for the wisdom to truly rise and we can prey on it and to be able to utilize it that way. Another kind of simple way is seeking perspective from a trusted person. ⁓ So the right voices help you see blind spots that you can't see on your own, especially when you have a lot of pressure and stress and the mental capacity isn't there. So choose people who love you enough to be honest with you and wise enough to be helpful for you. Just don't ask somebody randomly on the street that don't know you because you want to seek those right people. And we talked about this in a previous episode of having that community. ⁓ And that's where really being able to seek those type of perspectives to really know and help that way in your decision. Another one is giving yourself space before responding. Kind of like pausing. ⁓ ⁓ immediate yeses, which is so hard because I'm a yes girl. And being able to say no ⁓ ⁓ hard and heavy and you feel guilty about it. ⁓ Stephanie Petry: Okay. Nicole Ghirardi: but it's what you need to do. So, you know, being able to create that space, that's where, you know, Steph brought up the weekly reset. So that's where I plan for my week before so that I know my time slots of where I can say yes. So then that way then I have immediate control of my week versus letting my week control me. Stephanie Petry: you you Nicole Ghirardi: So, know, the easy of, let me think about it and get back with you is complete enough without having to give any further explanation on all of the excuses of why you feel that you need to tell them anymore. You don't have to. And then of course, the last one is asking better questions instead of reacting emotionally. So questions like, what am I actually feeling right now? ⁓ the emotion that you're feeling and acknowledge it. gonna really be able to reveal what's really driving that decision versus is it really the wisdom that it's driving you. ⁓ instead of what do I want to do, like said, what is this season asking of me? So then that way then I can really fine tune to understand and seek the wisdom that I really need to truly seek. Stephanie Petry: So I have very similar ones. So I'm just going to keep going and maybe we can get another perspective on it. But that 24 hours of pausing before you make decisions, this is probably that most practical step that I have for you guys. ⁓ It builds wisdom simply by slowing down and yourself space to pause instead of reacting quickly. So we've already talked about that. So wisdom often grows in that space though. we take the time to reflect instead of rushing forward, it does bring you clarity, but it also has taught me not to overshare of my ⁓ whys my thought process of figuring out my answer of how to move forward. And so just, ⁓ I don't to share all of those reasons. I can just say no, or I can say yes, I'd love to help. And so I think... ⁓ just pausing and not feeling like you have to do an immediate. It also allows me to have a conversation with my husband and son in case we need to have a discussion, especially if it's gonna pull me away from the family time that we have set aside. Another one is just, you grounding your decisions in truth? And I'm talking about truth, like God's word truth, not worldly truth. And so asking yourself, does this align with what I know to be true? Or is it just aligning with what you want and what you feel is true? And so making sure that you are getting in those wise counsel, those people in your lives that are gonna point you into those directions, because lot of times we ⁓ tend foster to our emotions ⁓ when shouldn't. And not everyone's opinion is the right voice to listen to. Everyone has an opinion. Even your wise counsel friends have opinions. But when you are just preaching and validating emotions rather than preaching and validating God's truth, that's going to set the people apart that are going to be that wise counsel people. And so we want to validate emotions for our friends because we love them and we want what's best for them and we feel their frustration. but we also have to remember our sisters in Christ that are gonna point each other back to Christ, which is going to be the foundation of truth and the source of wisdom, which we'll get to. And so making sure that you are just ⁓ realizing that these people are trustworthy and they align with your values. And that's very important when they're speaking into your life or you're allowing them to speak into your life. And then there's also prayer. ⁓ Don't underestimate the power of prayer, bringing your decisions before God honestly, not just asking for answers, but clarity in the direction of the why he's wanting you to take that way. ⁓ And these aren't complicated steps that we're sharing with you today, but they are, do require intentionality. And time, they will build a rhythm of making decisions from wisdom instead of pressure. And you'll start catching yourself to pause before you respond. Nicole Ghirardi: And at some point, wisdom stops being just a practical skill. And that becomes something that is shaped by what we allow to guide us. And that really dives us into our scripture for this episode. It comes from James chapter one, verse five. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God who gives generously to all without reproach and it will be given him. Stephanie Petry: So this verse so much pressure because it doesn't land on us. We're not the ones in control. God is. He is sovereign and in control of all things. It reminds us that wisdom isn't something that we have to strive for and figure out on our own. It's something that God gives us. The wisdom is from God and he gives it to his children. And so he gives it generously. You just have to ask. So ask him in prayer for wisdom on specific things that you're going through. chances are he's going to start changing your heart and make you more wise through the process. That that when we feel unsure or we feel stuck, and we know what to do, we're invited to come to him. ⁓ And ⁓ I often ask someone when they're coming to me for a prayer request or they're coming to me with a crisis, is I'll ask, have you gone to the Lord about this? If not, let's go right now, you know, and pray with them right then and there. think about how this shifts our approach when we're making decisions. When have a decision to make going before the Lord and asking him to just give you that clarity and wisdom make the decision in his will, ⁓ instead of to control the outcome. Right? Like we want to often control what's happening and we think we're in control of what we say yes to. But when we start holding those reins instead of God, that's when things start to spiral, become overwhelming, start leading us in the wrong directions. And now we're, you know, trying to play catch up or backpedal so that we can get back where we were meant to go. And so it just is, ⁓ it tends to be one of those things that I have to constantly be reminded of is that I am not in control, God is. What I am in control of is my faithful obedience. Am I seeking him for wisdom? Am I seeking him in my decision making? wisdom becomes a lot less about having certainty and more about walking more closely with God. And when we do that, there's a peace that comes, not because everything is easy, but because we know we're not having to navigate this life alone. Nicole Ghirardi: I think that God really us to seek his wisdom. You know, it's not the information that we're really ⁓ needing to seek from God. And so, you you think of it as information tells us what, but God's wisdom is telling us why and when. And so we're not meant to navigate life on data alone, even for my analytical, you know, high analyzing people. God offers something deeper than answers. And that's where we have to seek God's wisdom for that. know, God often gives the clarity when we slow down enough to listen. And I feel like that is our hardest thing for us to be able to do is just sit and wait. I mean, I've been there. I'm there right now with a lot of decisions going on right now. ⁓ I feel like, you know, I want a door to slam and God is just slightly closing it and then opening it back up. And it's like, okay, so I have to understand that he isn't withholding the direction. ⁓ just moved. We want to move too fast to hear what his direction really is. Stephanie Petry: you you Nicole Ghirardi: And that's where the stillness isn't wasted time. And that's why we hone so much into the Roots Journal in the morning is that's my stillness in God's word to be able to seek his wisdom and to, you know, ask him the why, you know, because I don't know the why and God only knows the why. So we just have to make sure that it's the posture of where our wisdom finds us versus trying to quickly you know, try to move on to the next thing. Stephanie Petry: And when we begin to approach decisions from that place ⁓ of, you know, wisdom and seeking wisdom instead of striving for control, it changes just our outcome, but also the way that we experience the process. So, We're going to wrap up this ⁓ episode here and Nicole, what do we got going? What would you give our listeners to do for first step? Nicole Ghirardi: that I recommend anyone and I think that this is probably I say the same thing each episode when we close is start slow start by slowing down ⁓ decision this week. You don't have to change everything at once. I highly ⁓ not doing that because that just creates a whole other role chaos for you. But ⁓ one can really start to shift the pattern in your life. Pick something small so that the practice feels doable, not daunting. You don't have to have everything figured out. You're not gonna have everything figured out. That's why God is here for us to be able to seek that wisdom. It has to feel doable and ⁓ just being to move forward with that, okay? Clarity, we to say this. It shows up when we slow down. Stephanie Petry: Okay. Okay. Nicole Ghirardi: And so that it will show up in the motion, but not before it. So taking the right next step is the trust in the path becomes clearer as you walk towards it all. So it's the small wise choices. Big breakthroughs are usually just a lot of aligned decisions and those small decisions step together to make it a big decision. And that's where everyone takes, ⁓ have to this immediate breakthrough. and you're not gonna see it with it because it's all those small wise decisions that you have. And last thing is, that peace grows when wisdom leads instead of pressure. And that pressure says hurry, but that wisdom says choose well. So when the wisdom leads, the hard decisions carry the steadiness that that pressure never could. Stephanie Petry: And I just want to remind you that you are not in this alone. Okay, if you are feeling overwhelmed, I just want to remind you, you are not carrying that pressure alone. We all feel it. Okay, you do not have to have every correct answer right now. You just need to take the next step with intention and trust. Wisdom is built over time. This is something we have to practice through small consistent choices. And the more that we start leaning into truth, Nicole Ghirardi: Mm-hmm. Stephanie Petry: and prayer and reflection, the more clarity you're gonna start experiencing. So just encouragement of you're not behind, you're not failing, you're learning, you're growing, you're choosing to be grounded in your growth, being guided along the way and that is what grounded growth is really about. So we are going to next week talk about gratitude ⁓ and gratitude, habit that changes how you see everything. because the way you view your has the power to shift your perspective, your peace, and your purpose. So until next time, we'll see you later, bye. Nicole Ghirardi: Bye.