Latest / Thrive After 45® | Life After 45, Self-Trust, Midlife Women / Aged Out, Not Done: How to Spot the Moment Your "Comfort Zone" Becomes a "Casket" - with Heidi Solomon-Orlick

Transcript

Aged Out, Not Done: How to Spot the Moment Your "Comfort Zone" Becomes a "Casket" - with Heidi Solomon-Orlick · Thrive After 45® | Life After 45, Self-Trust, Midlife Women

• 0:00
  Hello and welcome to today's episode of Thrive After 45.
• 0:05
  I'm Denise Drink, heart whisperer, midlife mirror and mentor.
• 0:10
  And every week I am absolutely honored to share energy and space with inspiring guests whose stories reflect so many possibilities of thriving beyond.
• 0:22
  45 together we'll uncover the whispers of the heart, the power of midlife transformation, and the wisdom that fuels expansion.
• 0:32
  What becomes possible when a woman knows she has more to give, but the world hasn't quite made space for her yet, and she decides to lead anyway.
• 0:46
  It is such an honor and a privilege to welcome Heidi Solomon Orick to the show today.
• 0:53
  Heidi brings nearly four decades of experience across advertising, marketing, and professional sales where she spent 35 years consistently ranking in the top 1% of performers Often.
• 1:08
  As the only woman in the room in a male dominated industry, what makes her story powerful isn't just what she has achieved, it's what she chose to do with that experience as the founder and CEO.
• 1:24
  Girls who Sell Heidi is focused on expanding access and opportunity, positioning professional sales as a path to economic independence, especially for young women from underrepresented communities.
• 1:38
  She is also an award-winning author who fulfilled a lifelong dream later in life, proving it is never too late.
• 1:47
  Her book Heals to Deals, was released in 2022, followed by her children's book.
• 1:54
  I have a Voice, a book of listening, which has won three literacy awards and her second children's book, just a dot.
• 2:03
  I think not has just been released across her career.
• 2:08
  Heidi has helped create thousands of jobs globally.
• 2:12
  Mentored hundreds of professionals and reached tens of thousands through her work books and global platforms today.
• 2:20
  We're gonna explore voice leadership and what happens when women stop waiting for permission and start building.
• 2:29
  What's been missing?
• 2:30
  Heidi, I can't wait to have this conversation today.
• 2:33
  Thank you so much for being with us.
• 2:36
  Oh, thank you so much for having me.
• 2:38
  Oh my gosh.
• 2:39
  That was such an incredible introduction.
• 2:42
  Who is that person?
• 2:43
  I, I don't.
• 2:44
  Oh, yes, you do.
• 2:46
  My job is done here.
• 2:50
  Oh, there, you know, what we talk about here is there is no finish line.
• 2:54
  Right?
• 2:54
  That that is true.
• 2:56
  I, I am a hundred percent in agreement with that.
• 3:00
  You, you set your own boundaries.
• 3:03
  It's so true, isn't it?
• 3:05
  And your own limitations.
• 3:06
  So if you, if you decide that that's not, um, you know, that you wanna expand that and have an expansionism mentality Yeah.
• 3:20
  I think it can change the course of your life.
• 3:23
  Yeah.
• 3:25
  Tell us how that happened for you.
• 3:29
  Oh wow.
• 3:30
  Well, it's been a long journey.
• 3:32
  Yeah.
• 3:32
  Um, would be a really long call if I, uh, all of the, all of the detail behind it.
• 3:40
  But as you mentioned, I started my career in advertising and marketing.
• 3:44
  Mm-hmm.
• 3:46
  Uh, working for different ad agencies in California.
• 3:50
  Um, I thought I was really hot stuff at 22.
• 3:54
  I was, you know, in 23 I was doing all the marketing for Princess and p and o cruises and I was traveling the world and, um, I was working on some really big brands making a lot of money, especially for my age back then.
• 4:08
  Mm-hmm.
• 4:09
  Um, that was what, early 1980s.
• 4:12
  Wow.
• 4:12
  That seems crazy to me.
• 4:14
  But anyway, early 1980s.
• 4:17
  And, um, you know, those were the days of three martini lunches and, um, you know, definitely the ad agency business as well was very male dominated at, uh, at that time still is quite frankly.
• 4:31
  Right, right.
• 4:32
  And, um, you know, by 30 I had completely burned out.
• 4:37
  I, um, I was, um, you know, I was living a, a.
• 4:43
  The la, you know, lifestyle, really active in the LA scene.
• 4:48
  I had burned through three engagements and I, at 30, I was just like, I cannot continue down this path.
• 4:57
  Mm-hmm.
• 4:57
  Uh, because it's not gonna end well.
• 4:59
  And so I exited, um, with zero with no plan.
• 5:04
  Uh, and um, I ended up bumping into someone that I had met during college who had started.
• 5:13
  A telemarketing company.
• 5:15
  And, um, I bumped into him at lunch and he is, he said, you know, what, what are you up to?
• 5:21
  And I said, well, let's see.
• 5:22
  I'm 30, I'm unmarried.
• 5:24
  I have no job.
• 5:26
  Uh, and absolutely no idea what my future holds.
• 5:30
  But other than that.
• 5:31
  Things are awesome, right?
• 5:33
  Mm-hmm.
• 5:34
  I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life.
• 5:36
  And, um, he's like, great, be in my office, uh, on Monday.
• 5:40
  I'd like you to come in and be my vice president of sales with your advertising and marketing and direct marketing background.
• 5:47
  I think you'd be perfect.
• 5:49
  And I said, well, I don't know anything about the total marketing industry.
• 5:52
  And he said, none of us do.
• 5:54
  We're figuring it out every single day.
• 5:56
  And so that was the beginning of my three and a half decade career in, uh, what proved to be a bit in the business process outsourcing industry, which is, you know, a fancy name of what it's called today versus telemarketing, which has a negative connotation.
• 6:14
  Mm-hmm.
• 6:15
  Uh, and.
• 6:17
  I, um, I was really successful at first.
• 6:21
  I really tried to be one of the boys.
• 6:23
  Mm-hmm.
• 6:24
  Because I was, it was all men.
• 6:25
  Yeah.
• 6:26
  And so I really thought to succeed that I had to be one of the boys.
• 6:31
  And I quickly learned that my competitive differentiator was actually being.
• 6:37
  A woman and that my innate skills as a female was what would truly make me successful.
• 6:45
  Uh, I had no desire to one.
• 6:48
  Hopefully it's, but sleep my way to the top.
• 6:51
  Yeah.
• 6:51
  To, you know, deals were getting made on the golf course.
• 6:54
  I had no desire to learn how to play golf.
• 6:56
  Um, I sucked at in anyway.
• 6:59
  Um, and I just, I just leaned into, I just have to be, I have to focus on building relationships.
• 7:07
  Mm-hmm.
• 7:08
  And.
• 7:08
  And learning my business and having the skill to be able to talk to the CEO of a company all the way to, you know, a manager level person who's very tactical, right.
• 7:24
  From tactical to strategic.
• 7:27
  Mm-hmm.
• 7:27
  And it paid off.
• 7:28
  And, and for 35 years I was, um, by far, um, you know, in the top 1% of my industry.
• 7:36
  Mm-hmm.
• 7:38
  And, um.
• 7:40
  Until 2019 and then I'll pause'cause I'm sure you, I I know I'm talking, walking.
• 7:47
  No, keep going.
• 7:47
  No, keep, no, keep, keep going.
• 7:48
  Yes.
• 7:49
  Okay.
• 7:49
  So until 2019, uh, when, uh, both of my parents, uh, passed away.
• 7:57
  Ah, uh, and I was 60.
• 8:01
  I turned 60.
• 8:03
  And, uh, my.
• 8:06
  My mom, uh, died by suicide, and my dad died, uh, uh, 10 days later of pancreatic cancer.
• 8:15
  Uh, he had been diagnosed, uh, six months before and he had a remark, you know, just a really fast decline.
• 8:24
  And I think that.
• 8:26
  Part of my mom's, uh, depression and, and, uh, the reason that she took her own life.
• 8:33
  Mm-hmm.
• 8:33
  Um, but, and by the way, I could talk about this now, it's been, yeah.
• 8:37
  What.
• 8:37
  It's six years and Right.
• 8:39
  Um, but it, it was a very difficult time in my life and, uh, it, it really caused me to pause.
• 8:48
  Mm-hmm.
• 8:48
  And to say, you know what, I'm 60 years old.
• 8:52
  What does the back half of my life look, look like?
• 8:56
  And, um, what can I do to leverage my expertise and, uh, to, to, um.
• 9:06
  You know, to leave a legacy and to leave a world that's better than how I found it.
• 9:12
  And that, that became my mindset that I shifted, you know, to, it's all about giving back and girls who sell was born out of that.
• 9:24
  Okay.
• 9:24
  Um, with the desire.
• 9:27
  Play a small part in solving for a very big problem, which is a lack of diversity in professional sales.
• 9:34
  Even, you know, I started in 1980 even all the way to 2019.
• 9:40
  It was, um, you know, there was still, yeah.
• 9:44
  Uh.
• 9:45
  Only 35% women.
• 9:47
  And then if you looked at women of color, you know, the numbers were just dismal.
• 9:52
  Um, yeah.
• 9:53
  And so that's, that's why Girls Who Sell Was Born was a opportunity to leverage my expertise.
• 9:59
  Um, I think sales gets a bad, bad rap, um mm-hmm.
• 10:03
  And it's not your, the first thing that women think of when they think of a career.
• 10:09
  And, but it's a great career to be able to.
• 10:13
  Um, you know, sort of control your own destiny and, and, and, uh, so yeah.
• 10:19
  Yeah, so that's why girls are so was born.
• 10:22
  So thank you so much for the depth of which you shared your, where you are today, because there are a number of pieces within what you shared that are so resonant for our listeners.
• 10:35
  One specifically being a catalyst that.
• 10:41
  Helped you put a mirror in front and go, how can I do what I need and want to do?
• 10:49
  Because I only have a finite amount of time left.
• 10:52
  And when I look at, yeah.
• 10:53
  Right.
• 10:54
  And our audience is listening, going.
• 10:57
  Hands up, that's me.
• 10:59
  Right?
• 11:00
  We all have a finite time, but when you hit certain ages and stages in life, it really comes to the surface bubbling up bigger than it ever did, right?
• 11:11
  Yeah.
• 11:11
  So losing your parents was a very big catalyst.
• 11:16
  What I, I love about what you do, and I'd love to speak more around this, is why do.
• 11:26
  We not as a society see the benefit of sales.
• 11:33
  Why is it such a, oh God, I have to do sales when you know, on the other side.
• 11:41
  I am sure you think this, I don't know, I'm gonna tease a little bit here, but.
• 11:47
  Everybody is selling all the time.
• 11:49
  No matter what you're doing, we're always selling, right?
• 11:52
  It's, it's just too percent, right?
• 11:55
  And so how do we change that whole mindset around sales, like you're doing girls who Sell for a great reason, but even the title, it's like, why should we have to promote that girls sell everybody's selling.
• 12:11
  Help me understand or help us understand that a bit better?
• 12:15
  Yeah.
• 12:15
  Why?
• 12:16
  Yeah, I, I, so first of all, I agree.
• 12:20
  Um, sales is, is life skill.
• 12:23
  So even if.
• 12:26
  I, I, I say this to our students all the time, even if you don't end up being, you know, a bag carrying sales person.
• 12:36
  Yep.
• 12:36
  Uh, you're always selling.
• 12:38
  You're always selling.
• 12:39
  Whether you're selling an idea or a budget or, um, you know.
• 12:46
  With your partner where you wanna go to dinner or Right.
• 12:49
  You know, 3-year-old that they, you know, have to clean their room or, you know, they have to do their homework or, I, I mean, I, I kind of say it lightheartedly, but sales is a big part of our, our life and we need, and, and I think it's a skill that everyone should learn.
• 13:08
  Mm-hmm.
• 13:08
  Um, whether they turn it into a career or not.
• 13:12
  So that's the first thing.
• 13:14
  I think that sales has gotten a bad rap just because of the media.
• 13:18
  You know, when you think of Wolf of Wall Street and uh, you think of.
• 13:25
  Y you know, just the way sales is positioned overall, used car sales people, everyone, you know, so many people have had bad sales experiences.
• 13:37
  Yeah.
• 13:37
  That they're like, Ooh, I, I can't even imagine getting up every day and doing that as my career.
• 13:45
  Right.
• 13:45
  Um, but it, what's interesting is that.
• 13:50
  Sales is actually not the anything like the way it is portrayed.
• 13:57
  Yeah.
• 13:57
  Now early on in my career, yeah.
• 13:59
  Guys were, was it a whole used car salesman?
• 14:02
  Yeah.
• 14:02
  But that's how I differentiated myself as a earlier and what, what I, you know, when we work with our students or when I'm mentoring other young women, even outside of the girls who sell program.
• 14:17
  Um, it's, it's really about, um.
• 14:22
  You know, it's, it's about building relationships.
• 14:26
  Yeah.
• 14:26
  It's about problem solving.
• 14:28
  It's about, uh, you know, and, and so you start to reframe and shift the mindset of what sales, what you think sales is then versus what sales.
• 14:43
  Actually is.
• 14:44
  Um, and once we do that, once we start saying, and, and then I hear, okay, well yeah, it's, you know, it sounds like I could do that, right?
• 14:52
  Like, I, I'm a relationship person.
• 14:54
  I can build, I love solving problems.
• 14:57
  I can, I love creating solutions.
• 14:59
  I can do all of that.
• 15:01
  Uh, but, um, then it's like, well, I don't necessarily have the confidence or Right.
• 15:06
  Gee, I'm not an extrovert, I'm an introvert, or I'm painfully shy.
• 15:11
  Um mm-hmm.
• 15:11
  I can't be in sales.
• 15:13
  Mm-hmm.
• 15:13
  And to me, I mean, then we, then we also have a mind, mind set shift conversation around, no.
• 15:21
  That's your superpower.
• 15:23
  Right?
• 15:23
  Right.
• 15:23
  Some of the best sales people I know are introverts.
• 15:27
  Yeah.
• 15:27
  And that makes some really good listeners.
• 15:30
  Yes.
• 15:30
  And that makes some really good problem solvers.
• 15:33
  And um, and so they're like, oh, okay, I can do this.
• 15:39
  And then, you know, the other thing that compounds the issue is when you look at, particularly for early stage careers, I mean, one sales.
• 15:51
  Until recently, and even now, not on a large scale, is something that's taught in schools.
• 15:56
  Um, I mean, there's several colleges and university that have sales programs, but that's relatively new.
• 16:04
  Mm-hmm.
• 16:05
  Um.
• 16:05
  Uh, you know, I, I don't know the exact year, but I would say within the 10, last 10 years, that's something that maybe it's come, entrepreneurship is beginning to be covered, but I'm gonna tell you that you can be an entrepreneur, but if you don't know how to sell, you're gonna fail.
• 16:24
  Mm-hmm.
• 16:24
  You just will.
• 16:25
  Mm-hmm.
• 16:26
  Um, you can have a great idea or a great product or service that if you don't know how to sell it Yep.
• 16:32
  Or how to market it.
• 16:34
  Yep.
• 16:34
  You know, it's very unlikely, um, that you're going to be able to succeed on a, on a large scale, right?
• 16:42
  So, I mean, an answer to your question, one, I don't think the media has helped.
• 16:46
  Two, I think because the field has been so male dominated that women just don't.
• 16:52
  Think of themselves in, in sales.
• 16:55
  The good news is, is that, and that when they do think of themselves in sales, they have a confidence issue.
• 17:03
  They don't apply unless they meet a hundred percent of the qualifications, you know, on the job, uh, description.
• 17:11
  And, um, and then when they get into it, their companies don't do a great job of, of training and educating and career pathing.
• 17:20
  And so.
• 17:21
  They're just like, forget about it.
• 17:23
  But I'll tell you, when you look at the C-suite, um, second to finance, sales is the number one profession, uh, of women who go into the C-suite, um, as a way to work their way up the ranks.
• 17:38
  Hmm.
• 17:39
  So, I don't know.
• 17:40
  We just, we, we need to change perception.
• 17:43
  Yes.
• 17:43
  Yes.
• 17:43
  And that's what we do.
• 17:45
  And thankfully there's a lot of.
• 17:47
  Great people out there today and other good organizations that are out there doing it.
• 17:54
  Do you find that a lot of your clients are through the entrepreneur lens specifically, or does it make Only recently have I have, I started to.
• 18:06
  Play that angle.
• 18:07
  Okay.
• 18:08
  I've done some volunteer work with Nifty and um, which actually is starting to have conversations even younger, like in middle school and, and high school, even though, uh, girls who sell was initially targeted towards.
• 18:23
  College aged women and early college graduates.
• 18:26
  Mm-hmm.
• 18:26
  Then we started to get some interest from high school.
• 18:29
  So we started to go younger, but now I'm, you know, seeing a lot of these entrepreneurship programs emerge, um, even at the middle school level.
• 18:38
  Um, what I'm finding is that there's a lot of interest in partnerships for the, for, for.
• 18:46
  Companies like mine or just someone with my expertise to come in and teach their mm-hmm.
• 18:53
  Their student sales skills.
• 18:56
  Right?
• 18:56
  So, um, it, it, like Nifty as an example, they have, they put a million kids through their, through their program, um, men and women.
• 19:05
  Um, but they, they teach them how to start a business, how to write a business plan, how to do some marketing, how to price your product and service, you know, all the things that are fundamental to figuring out, you know, that an entrepreneurship entrepreneur needs to know, right.
• 19:26
  What they, the big gap I found, and it's not just with them, but a lot of.
• 19:31
  The, um, colleges and, um, other programs that are entrepreneurship oriented mm-hmm.
• 19:39
  Is they don't teach sales.
• 19:41
  It's just like, how can you not teach sales?
• 19:43
  So they're like, well, come on in and, and help our students.
• 19:47
  Um, right.
• 19:49
  Now that they have their business plan together, um, figure out how to, how to go to market and how to sell it, right?
• 19:55
  So that's where it, but for me, that's been a relatively new, new phenomenon, but something that I'm definitely, uh, going to, to expand because I think there's a natural marriage between sales and entrepreneurship.
• 20:13
  For sure.
• 20:13
  Absolutely.
• 20:14
  Absolutely.
• 20:16
  Um, and the women that we support through Thrive after 45.
• 20:20
  Mm-hmm.
• 20:21
  And my work in particular, we are supporting women who are in the throes of transition for a variety of reasons and.
• 20:31
  There's a buzz about right now, and rightly so, because women who are being inched out of their current positions for a variety of reasons, um, are trying, okay, now what do I do?
• 20:45
  I have all these skills, very similar to your conversation earlier about how you, you know, what, what skills do I have and what can I put myself through in terms of.
• 20:55
  What's possible for me as I move ahead instead of just being at somebody else's back and call and being like, okay, I'll go and do a grocery line.
• 21:05
  Not that that's a bad deal, but if you're not, that's not where your skillset lies.
• 21:09
  You wanna make sure that you use all the capacity you've built up over the years.
• 21:13
  So I can see that being, you know, really important for our listeners to understand that whole.
• 21:22
  Big ball of wax that's behind.
• 21:24
  Yes.
• 21:24
  I've gotta go out and start to do something for myself.
• 21:27
  What do I do and how do I do it?
• 21:29
  Right?
• 21:30
  Yeah.
• 21:31
  Career, career transition is, um, is really interesting niche.
• 21:38
  I've been encouraged to do some consulting work in that area.
• 21:44
  Uh, and I've mentored a lot of people, but I, I haven't done anything.
• 21:48
  Formal necessarily.
• 21:50
  Sure.
• 21:50
  But I think there's a huge market, particularly like you said.
• 21:54
  And listen, I was, I was aged out in my job three years ago.
• 21:58
  Um, the, the, the thing that I did that may resonate with our, with your listeners is that.
• 22:05
  Um, I started girls who sell as a part-time side hustle.
• 22:09
  So I think a lot of times the, the mindset is, oh, it's all or nothing.
• 22:15
  Yes.
• 22:16
  And, um, I don't think it has to be an all or nothing black or black or white conversation.
• 22:23
  I think that, um, for me it was really great that I started Girls Who Sell on a part-time basis and I was using my corporate salary and my commissions Right.
• 22:36
  To basically self fund the business.
• 22:40
  Yeah.
• 22:40
  Um, but I wasn't feeling, and now I know this isn't gonna work for everybody, but of course, but I wasn't feeling that financial, that financial.
• 22:48
  Uh, pressure.
• 22:50
  Yeah.
• 22:50
  Then when I got laid off, now let me, let me tell you.
• 22:54
  When I was let go of corporate three years ago, I was devastated.
• 22:58
  Yeah, of course.
• 22:58
  Absolutely devastated.
• 23:00
  Yeah.
• 23:00
  I went through a.
• 23:03
  Complete identity crisis.
• 23:05
  Even though I had girls who sell on the side, I had no idea who I was outside of my corporate persona.
• 23:13
  I had done it my whole life.
• 23:14
  I mean, I had been working since I was 15 years old.
• 23:18
  Um, and so for me it was the kind of the opposite shift because.
• 23:23
  I knew how to sell.
• 23:24
  Mm-hmm.
• 23:25
  Uh, what I didn't know is how to be an entrepreneur.
• 23:29
  And so that was kind of a, a, a opposite chip for me, is that I had to go through a very steep learning curve.
• 23:38
  Um, because running a part-time side hustle is very different than running a full-time business.
• 23:45
  And, uh, so that was, that was a, a shift for me.
• 23:50
  Mm-hmm.
• 23:50
  But.
• 23:51
  You know, it was, it was.
• 23:53
  It took about a year for me to really figure it out, and I had to do a lot of soul searching.
• 23:59
  I went the spiritual retreats.
• 24:01
  I went back and, and, um, got a lot of training.
• 24:05
  I, I, you know, I believe in being a lifelong learner anyway.
• 24:09
  Yes.
• 24:10
  And then surrounding myself with people, my personal board of directors and just experts, um, and bringing them in and saying, you know what, uh, I'm not good at every.
• 24:22
  Everything, particularly as I'm playing this new role as CEO consultant, you know, business owner, whatever.
• 24:30
  Um, and bringing in people strategically to, uh, you know, to support me in, in, in the business.
• 24:39
  Yeah.
• 24:40
  Um, and I think the big, the biggest, um, and this kind of goes into my children's books, but.
• 24:47
  Um, so that was okay.
• 24:50
  Now I'm a full-time entrepreneur.
• 24:52
  I remember the first time Denise when somebody said, what do you do?
• 24:56
  And I completely froze.
• 24:58
  I'm like, froze.
• 25:00
  Shoot.
• 25:00
  I, I don't know what I do.
• 25:01
  What do I do?
• 25:03
  Yeah.
• 25:03
  Oh, I, no idea.
• 25:05
  And I'm, I'm like, I'm a, I'm an entrepreneur.
• 25:09
  And that was like this complete.
• 25:13
  Mind blown, like, oh, I'm an entrepreneur.
• 25:18
  Wow.
• 25:18
  There it is there.
• 25:20
  It's spoken.
• 25:20
  Spoken out loud.
• 25:21
  Oh my gosh.
• 25:22
  Yeah.
• 25:23
  I love it.
• 25:24
  Oh my gosh.
• 25:24
  I'm an entrepreneur.
• 25:25
  And then the same thing happened with author, but I had signed up for a course with Jack Campfield.
• 25:31
  I don't know if you know who he, yeah, who he is.
• 25:34
  He wrote, um, chicken Soup.
• 25:36
  The Whole Chicken Soup for the Soul Series.
• 25:38
  And I've always been a fan.
• 25:41
  His books played a very big part of my spiritual journey, um, you know, early on in my, in my life.
• 25:49
  And, um, and I, I, uh, had signed up for his program called Reignite Your Life.
• 25:58
  This was after I was laid, laid off, and I was, I was just like.
• 26:02
  Okay.
• 26:03
  Well that sounds like something I should do.
• 26:05
  That sounds like something I have to do.
• 26:07
  Yeah, I'll figure it out.
• 26:09
  Um, and it was, it wa what was so great about that program is he said the biggest mistake, uh, people make quite often.
• 26:20
  Is they have shiny object syndrome, right?
• 26:23
  Mm-hmm.
• 26:23
  Like you have all this expertise, uh, especially women our age, and you've done so much in your life and you're like, well, maybe I could do this or I could do that, or, and then you try to do it all, everything, and nothing works.
• 26:35
  You, you stretch yourself and nothing works.
• 26:38
  Mm-hmm.
• 26:38
  And so he said in this three month program, not that you don't have other goals.
• 26:45
  But I want you to pick one goal.
• 26:47
  Mm.
• 26:48
  Just one thing.
• 26:50
  Mm-hmm.
• 26:50
  And we are going to put a plan together on how to make that work.
• 26:56
  So between today kickoff mm-hmm.
• 27:00
  And three months.
• 27:01
  Mm-hmm.
• 27:02
  You will have, you will have achieved that.
• 27:07
  It's like one goal.
• 27:08
  Oh my God.
• 27:09
  I don't think I've ever had one goal in my right.
• 27:12
  You know, okay, how do I pick one goal?
• 27:15
  I have so many things that I wanna wanna do and I wanna accomplish.
• 27:19
  And, and, um, I was like, you know what?
• 27:23
  Um, I had already published heels to deals.
• 27:26
  I had already been a co-author in upward, uh, leadership lesson, uh, lessons for Women on the Rise with, um, Bridget McGowan and Simone Morris.
• 27:35
  Um, but I had always wanted to be a children's book author, always.
• 27:39
  It's something that I wanted to do.
• 27:42
  And I said, you know what?
• 27:43
  That's my goal is I have no idea how to do it.
• 27:48
  I don't have a children's book written.
• 27:51
  Yeah.
• 27:51
  I know nothing about publishing or self-publishing or hybrid ing.
• 27:56
  I know nothing about this, but I am going to, I'm gonna do this.
• 28:01
  Mm-hmm.
• 28:02
  And, and that was it.
• 28:03
  Um, and I have a voice book listening was literally.
• 28:09
  Channel, be it, and this might resonate because, you know, in our generation, um, children, but especially girls, were meant to be seen and not heard.
• 28:18
  Yeah, totally.
• 28:19
  And right.
• 28:20
  Mm-hmm.
• 28:20
  Mm-hmm.
• 28:21
  And, uh, with a lot of the d and i programs.
• 28:25
  Getting rolled back and, um, defunded.
• 28:28
  I felt like it was not only my calling, but my responsibility mm-hmm.
• 28:33
  To start facilitating some conversations just with the craziness that was going on in the world.
• 28:39
  Yeah.
• 28:39
  But to start facilitating these really important conversations at home and, and in, in the schools.
• 28:46
  Yeah.
• 28:46
  I have a voice, a book listening was literally channeled.
• 28:50
  I dreamed it.
• 28:51
  I love it.
• 28:52
  I woke up the next morning.
• 28:54
  And I got my notes and I wrote the whole book, and I never, I made maybe one minor tweet from the first time that I wrote it, and, uh, and I, you know, then Jack's program, like I, I figured out yeah, like how to get it published and what to do and what's my budget and the, the whole thing.
• 29:15
  Yeah.
• 29:16
  Um, but it really is geared towards kids four to nine.
• 29:20
  Uh, and teaches them how to identify, honor and listen to their inner voice and encourages them to use their voice for good in the world.
• 29:31
  Mm-hmm.
• 29:31
  Uh, and to give a voice to others that might not have the same level of privilege.
• 29:38
  Yeah.
• 29:38
  And to me, that was, I don't know, it, it was just, it was just, yeah.
• 29:46
  It was.
• 29:47
  It was part of my legacy.
• 29:49
  It was just mm-hmm.
• 29:49
  What I had to do, it was just my calling.
• 29:53
  Yeah.
• 29:53
  And my responsibility to publish that book.
• 29:55
  Yeah.
• 29:55
  It had to be out in the world.
• 29:57
  Yep.
• 29:57
  It's just, and that was, yeah.
• 29:59
  Yeah.
• 29:59
  No questions asked.
• 30:00
  It's, this is happening.
• 30:01
  Right.
• 30:02
  This is happen happening.
• 30:03
  This is what's going on.
• 30:04
  And.
• 30:05
  This is how I'm gonna make it happen and figure out how to mm-hmm.
• 30:09
  Yeah.
• 30:10
  Gotta figure out how to do it.
• 30:12
  Yeah, exactly.
• 30:13
  And um, and then, you know, my second book, just the dot, I think not a Book of connection is, um, was just released.
• 30:22
  And, um, I created a character called Dottie.
• 30:26
  And, uh, her life's mission is to connect the world.
• 30:31
  And so she builds bridges, um, across diverse communities.
• 30:38
  You will probably most likely I'll to send you a copy or you can get a copy, but yeah.
• 30:43
  Um, end up on the band book list, but it is, you can't do, in my personal opinion.
• 30:49
  Yep.
• 30:49
  Create a book.
• 30:51
  About diversity and about the power of community without including everybody.
• 30:55
  It's not like, well, except for the people over there.
• 30:58
  So everybody's represented in this book, book, love that.
• 31:02
  And it really pushes boundaries.
• 31:04
  And then my third book, which will be released, um, in Q1, uh, probably may timeframe, actually May, June timeframe, is called More Than Pretty.
• 31:14
  Uh, a book of inner beauty, and that's really going to be gear geared towards young girls.
• 31:21
  Mm-hmm.
• 31:21
  Um, because there's so much peer pressure and, you know, to look pretty.
• 31:30
  Yeah.
• 31:30
  And, and you know.
• 31:33
  It's, you know, it's, it's, it's great to be pretty, but it's, um, but what's, it's really what's inside Yeah.
• 31:41
  That matters and, and what's in your heart.
• 31:44
  Yeah.
• 31:44
  And so, giving girls permission to be smart and courageous and unapologetically, um, uh.
• 31:55
  Successful, right?
• 31:56
  Like, so that's what that book's book about.
• 31:58
  You know?
• 31:58
  So I think you could see the theme when, when you're sharing that last component.
• 32:03
  What's coming back to me is what you shared at the very beginning when you talked about you realized your power was being who you really were.
• 32:12
  Right.
• 32:13
  Right.
• 32:14
  So to me, thank you for putting this in the hands of young women who get to understand the wisdom that you have experienced over time and what you've been able to accomplish as a result of being your full self.
• 32:32
  And I love that you are.
• 32:34
  I think that's why we connected Because lifelong learning.
• 32:37
  Lifelong learning, yeah.
• 32:38
  Is what it's all about.
• 32:40
  Right?
• 32:40
  Yeah.
• 32:41
  For me too, like, um, I will stop learning at my last breath.
• 32:45
  That's my hope and wish.
• 32:47
  Um, I do have a question that this has been so powerful.
• 32:51
  I you've been talking a bit about legacy.
• 32:54
  Yeah.
• 32:55
  What does legacy succession, what does that mean to you?
• 33:05
  Uh, so I'm gonna answer that in two parts.
• 33:08
  Um, one is just.
• 33:11
  Success, like the definition of success?
• 33:15
  I think as I've gotten older mm-hmm.
• 33:17
  My definition of success has definitely morphed and definitely changed.
• 33:23
  Mm-hmm.
• 33:23
  Um, you know, I used to think it was about, you know, having the house in the car and, and the money, the financial, you know, and all, and all of that.
• 33:35
  Um, and yeah.
• 33:37
  What I've, what I've realized is that, um, true, that true sex success Yeah.
• 33:47
  Comes from, um.
• 33:51
  Comes when you let go of parental and societal expectations and you find your true life's purpose.
• 34:03
  Mm.
• 34:03
  And uh, it's not about, it's not necessarily about money at all.
• 34:07
  Mm-hmm.
• 34:07
  Um, although money might.
• 34:09
  Come.
• 34:10
  Right.
• 34:10
  Um, because you are actually following what you, you're actually doing what you love to do.
• 34:16
  Um, yeah.
• 34:18
  But, but um, it's, so that's been a big mindset shift for me as I've gotten older, especially in my sixties.
• 34:28
  Yep.
• 34:28
  Is.
• 34:29
  It, it's not about something external, it's that internal shift.
• 34:36
  Yeah.
• 34:36
  Um, and, and so, and that's actually a bit of what my TEDx talk is gonna be this year, um, is sort of the process of Yes.
• 34:48
  From that external to internal shift.
• 34:52
  How to redefine success for yourself.
• 34:54
  So that's one thing.
• 34:56
  And legacy for me is mm-hmm.
• 34:58
  You know, of course my kids and my grandkids, like that's the traditional definition of legacy.
• 35:04
  But for me, legacy, uh, I think, um, it's knowing that my life mattered and that my, that.
• 35:17
  That my life's work mm-hmm.
• 35:20
  Um, has a ripple effect.
• 35:21
  You ask, uh, in your questions, you know, like how many people have you Right.
• 35:28
  Um, you know, impacted, well, you know.
• 35:32
  I don't even know how to put a number to that.
• 35:35
  I mean, I know in my career, yeah, it's been thousands and thousands of people, but how do you, how do you actually measure the ripple effect of, you know, I sold a deal, I created hundreds of jobs on this particular deal.
• 35:51
  Yeah.
• 35:51
  Who in, you know.
• 35:55
  India and Philippines and Caribbean, Latin America, and Asia and like all over the world.
• 36:02
  Denise, I have traveled all over the world.
• 36:04
  Mm-hmm.
• 36:05
  Um, and created thousands of thou and thousands of jobs.
• 36:09
  So to me that's legacy, right?
• 36:11
  Like it's bigger than me, is far beyond me.
• 36:16
  My books are gonna live, my children's books, yes, are gonna live far beyond, um, my last breath on Earth.
• 36:24
  And that's, that's, uh, legacy, um, is to know that, uh, you know, that my life mattered.
• 36:33
  Right, right.
• 36:34
  Mm-hmm.
• 36:35
  And, and I'm gonna pull it a little bit further if you're okay with this, but from my perspective in ter, in terms of what I'm hearing, it isn't about you.
• 36:45
  It's about the impact.
• 36:48
  Yes.
• 36:48
  Your legacy is the book that you've created that will be continually being published, shared, and read, helping those who are accessing those.
• 37:01
  Words on the page, shifting something inside of them.
• 37:05
  That's the legacy piece that you're talking about.
• 37:08
  Not necessarily the numbers and, but it's that impact you're making one at a time and then that ripple effect, like you say, it's hard to tell.
• 37:17
  What my numbers are actually, Denise, and I'm like, I totally get it.
• 37:21
  Some people are like, I don't wanna even give you a number.
• 37:23
  I give just for the audience.
• 37:24
  I give six questions to help me create an introduction.
• 37:28
  And one of those is how, what's been your impact?
• 37:30
  How many people have you impacted with your work?
• 37:33
  And many people are like, I can't tell you that, and I totally get what you're saying, but I love Heidi.
• 37:40
  What you do, your energy, your expression, your passion.
• 37:46
  Is huge, and I think that's what exudes I get to have an opportunity to see you visually, because this goes onto YouTube as well.
• 37:56
  So if you are visual consumers, go to my YouTube channel and watch the expressions and the energy that's exuding from Heidi as she shares her incredible work with us today.
• 38:09
  Is there anything?
• 38:10
  Well, you know what?
• 38:10
  I.
• 38:11
  If I could just add one.
• 38:12
  Yes.
• 38:13
  But just to that point, because Yeah.
• 38:15
  What I love is a mom is gonna read, you know Yeah.
• 38:23
  My book to her, to her daughter or son.
• 38:27
  Mm-hmm.
• 38:27
  But let's say daughter in this example.
• 38:30
  Yeah.
• 38:30
  Um, that is gonna shift the thinking of that little girl who then is going to bring her.
• 38:41
  Children up differently.
• 38:43
  Yes.
• 38:44
  Um, and so it's, it's this whole idea of, of if you can change one person's mind, if you can make that shift, that it can literally change the world.
• 38:57
  Um, if we all woke up every single morning thinking about how to make the world a better place, and if that we could positively impact at least one person today.
• 39:09
  In, in a, in a positive way.
• 39:12
  Think of that, the ripple effect of that.
• 39:16
  I'll tell you my dad, um, not to take us down a rab rabbit hole, but it plays into the conversation when I was, my dad was a traditional sales guy.
• 39:26
  He was an entrepreneur, um, but he was a master storyteller and, uh, he.
• 39:33
  He was on the road all the time.
• 39:36
  Mm-hmm.
• 39:37
  But he, when he was home, he would tuck me in at night and he would tell me stories and he'd make up these, uh, stories about, uh, a family of elephants, mumbo Dumbo and Dumbo.
• 39:50
  Um, and Dumbo, was this really.
• 39:54
  A precocious, uh, little el, little girl elephant that was always getting herself into trouble.
• 40:01
  And he would create these stories and then we would co-create solutions.
• 40:09
  Hmm.
• 40:10
  Now think about this from a kind of a legacy perspective.
• 40:12
  So he'd be like, wow, Heidi, um, Dumbo, you know, found herself, you know, she's in in trouble.
• 40:18
  What do you think?
• 40:19
  How can she get herself out of this situation?
• 40:22
  In the end, um, you know, it was problem solving, it was solutioning.
• 40:27
  It's everything that sales is all about.
• 40:30
  Yeah.
• 40:30
  So though I don't think that was intentional, um, it, it fundamentally framed, um, you know, my, my sales skills.
• 40:42
  Mm-hmm.
• 40:42
  Um, it also.
• 40:44
  Instilled a passion for storytelling, which mm-hmm.
• 40:47
  Is what sales is, but now is manifesting itself in, in my children's books right now.
• 40:54
  The wonderful thing about it is that he also told those stories to my kids, his grandkids.
• 41:02
  Mm-hmm.
• 41:02
  Mm-hmm.
• 41:02
  And my son just published a children's book I, a private mumbo, jumbo and Dumbo and, oh, Heidi, so.
• 41:11
  Um, and so when you sort of think about legacy and the the long term impact, um, it's, it's great.
• 41:21
  And guess what?
• 41:22
  Now my son who just had his baby, who's our first grand baby is telling already at eight months old, telling a mumbo jumbo, jumbo stories.
• 41:33
  Cool.
• 41:33
  So that's legacy.
• 41:37
  Beautiful.
• 41:37
  Oh, thank you for putting that together.
• 41:40
  Oh my gosh.
• 41:41
  Yeah.
• 41:42
  That's legacy.
• 41:42
  Yeah.
• 41:43
  Yeah, sure is.
• 41:45
  And like you say, did he do it for the impact?
• 41:48
  No, because he did it because that's who he was.
• 41:52
  He was beating, yeah.
• 41:53
  1000% himself.
• 41:55
  And what he got from it, I'm sure was tenfold when he heard your solutions.
• 42:01
  Like I'm sure it just, and look at what's happening as a result.
• 42:05
  How beautiful.
• 42:07
  Oh, Heidi, thank you for sharing that.
• 42:10
  Ugh.
• 42:11
  Fuck yeah.
• 42:13
  Yeah.
• 42:14
  Wow.
• 42:14
  He was a pretty extraordinary guy.
• 42:17
  And so is her daughter.
• 42:19
  His daughter, right.
• 42:20
  Aw, Aw.
• 42:21
  Well, thank you.
• 42:23
  Look what happens, right?
• 42:25
  I think he'd be pretty proud to see the see, uh, the children's books because he, he knew that that was always long term.
• 42:33
  Absolutely.
• 42:34
  Absolutely.
• 42:34
  But it just to, you said, you said in your introduction, it really shows in the message I want everybody to know is that, um, you don't have to have all the answers.
• 42:44
  Yeah.
• 42:44
  You don't, you don't need to know everything.
• 42:48
  Um, just, uh, you know, but it's never too, it is never too late.
• 42:53
  Yeah.
• 42:53
  I mean, I, I published my first children's book at 65 and, and yeah.
• 42:58
  Um, yeah.
• 42:59
  Okay.
• 42:59
  It took a little while.
• 43:01
  Little longer than I expected, but I did it and mm-hmm.
• 43:04
  And if you're listening to this right now, you can do it too.
• 43:08
  Yeah.
• 43:08
  1000%.
• 43:09
  And here's the piece.
• 43:11
  Do it for you by you because of you.
• 43:14
  Yes.
• 43:15
  Earlier on you talked about that external and now you've understand the power of being the internal.
• 43:22
  And people who listen to the show are absolutely.
• 43:26
  Digging into deeper understanding of what that can be for them.
• 43:30
  So yeah, it's, so there's, there's no other course of action if you want to be true to yourself and really learn more about who you are.
• 43:40
  So our goal in this conversation and all of the conversations at Thrive after 45 are with the understanding that you have.
• 43:50
  The power and the capacity to be able to do whatever your true heart desires.
• 43:56
  Just like Heidi, you said.
• 43:57
  Yeah, and it's, to me, it's about authenticity because totally.
• 44:00
  At the end of the day, success without authenticity is its own kind of failure.
• 44:08
  Thank you for that.
• 44:09
  That's a great, great quote that we will use.
• 44:14
  I love it.
• 44:18
  Oh dear.
• 44:19
  This has been a phenomenal conversation, which I knew it would be, but it always comes out way better than I ever imagined because people that I get to share a space with here are so incredible.
• 44:31
  And Heidi, you are no exception to that.
• 44:33
  So thank you so much for your time, energy, and voice on our show today.
• 44:38
  As always.
• 44:39
  We will have all of her information in the show notes so you can find Heidi and follow her and connect with her.
• 44:46
  And before we close, I do want to share something very gently with everyone.
• 44:53
  I am currently stewarding the early formation of a live in-person experience called Ignite the Inner Uprising.
• 45:04
  It's being created for women in midlife who feel that quiet pull towards something more truthful, more embodied.
• 45:13
  More their own.
• 45:15
  It isn't an event that I'm actually rushing or loudly promoting at all.
• 45:20
  It's being built really, really slowly with a great deal of care and deep respect for the women in midlife whom it's meant to serve.
• 45:32
  So if your body leaned in at any point during our conversation today.
• 45:38
  If something resonated beyond the words we've shared, just know that there will be a place to gather.
• 45:50
  So for now, stay connected, follow share.
• 45:55
  Give us your reviews so more women can find us.
• 45:58
  And when the timing is right, we will absolutely share more.
• 46:06
  It is time to thrive after 45.
• 46:10
  Thank you again, Heidi, for being here.
• 46:13
  Thanks for having me.