Latest / Libro Abierto Interviews ENGLISH / A story of struggle and survival against cancer. Miguel Ángel Vega

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A story of struggle and survival against cancer. Miguel Ángel Vega · Libro Abierto Interviews ENGLISH

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I didn't know how my chemo was going. I didn't
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: know if it was working or not. The doctor told me,
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: what you have is an osteosarcoma. I asked, what's that,
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: and he answered, you have cancer in your bones. I've
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: always had three fears in my life, being left behind,
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: having cancer, and death. I don't want my parents to
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: suffer because of me. I cannot die before they do.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: Please save me for them, don't save me for me.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: My name is Miguel Lean Hilvega Ledesma. I'm forty one
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: years old. I had a very happy childhood. I was
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: always playing. I was a very mischievous kid. I was
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: also very responsible and I had very good grades as
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: a child. I also had stomach issues and I loved
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: playing in the mud, so I spent a lot of
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: time with stomach issues and stuff. But well, well that's childhood.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: I had paratyphoid, fever and salmonella. I was a mess
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: as a kid. I went through everything, seriously everything. My
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: mom suffered a lot because of me. This kid was
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: born with a condition called migraines since I was four,
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: So sometimes at elementary school they'd call my mom and say,
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: your son isn't feeling well again. He has another migraine,
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: and my mom would come pick me up. I'd already
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: thrown up from the pain and all that. She'd pick
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: me up and take me home. I came out defective
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: from the factory, just bad luck. You have to learn
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: to live like this, and you have to learn to
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: enjoy life the way it came to you. Right. So
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: that's how it was for me. My childhood friends changed
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: when I got to middle school. It was also a
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: beautiful time. High school was a little harder because I
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: transferred to an all boys school, and that was a
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: bit complicated. I was used to having both guy friends
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: and girlfriends, and suddenly being in this all male environment
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: was tough. Why Because everyone already had their group of friends.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: I didn't know anyone. They all came from schools like
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: Sedros Simon, Bolivar, Moderno Americano, and I was alone. So
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: I'd ask myself, what do I do? I've always been
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: pretty decent at sports. I played American football for a while.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: I always wanted to be involved in sports, not professionally,
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: but at a competitive level. In my fourth year of
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: high school, I tried out for a team and started
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: playing football, but I didn't count on how nervous i'd
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: get before games. Before every match, the nerves hit me hard.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: I'd get these brutal bouts of nausea. I'd run to
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: the bus to throw up. That's where my health issues started.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: I developed two ulcers and a hyatal hernia. Then one
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: morning in my last year of high school, I was
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: eating breakfast. I remember it perfectly, eggs and chocolate milk.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: I took a sip of the chocolate milk and it
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: felt like razor blades in my throat and down my esophagus.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: I said, what the hell is happening. I told my parents,
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: I feel this intense pain. They said maybe it's gastritis
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: or something like that, and I said, okay, fine, I'm
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: off to school. I remember I had exams, not sure
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: if they were mid terms or finals, so I just
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: had to go take the test and leave. After the exam,
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: I went to get a soda because I was thirsty,
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: and the bubbles felt like razor blades again. That's when
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: I said, no, I can't even drink a soda, So
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: I knew I had to go see a doctor. They
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: did an endoscopy and found the ulcers and the hyadl hernia,
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: and they told me you've got two options. Either you
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: sleep sitting up for the rest of your life, or
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: we operate and do a fund opplication. What's a fund opplication? Basically,
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: they wrap your stomach and create a new valve, so
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: food and biled don't come back up and burn you
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: because that's what causes ulcers. I was just sixteen, so
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: I said, well, fine, let them operate. Life went back
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: to normal. Everything was fine. Then came college, and honestly,
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: it was phenomenal. I studied business administration and international business
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: at up. From kindergarten all the way up. College was
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: definitely the best stage of my academic life. I enjoyed
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: my friends, my girlfriend, my family. It was all in rhythm. Weekdays,
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: work weekends, friends, girlfriend, family, and repeat. Then in my
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: last semester, I was twenty one, maybe twenty two, I
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: suddenly felt pain in my balls and I thought, what's
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: happening to me? I told my friends I've got pain
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: in my Tessa tickles and they'd say, come on, really, obviously,
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: what could they say? I never told my parents. It
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: was a mild to moderate pain, and out of embarrassment,
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: I kept quiet, but the pain kept growing and growing.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: I stayed silent until one day, in the middle of
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: class it became unbearable. I told the professor I feel
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: really bad. Can I leave? He said yes, So I
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: drove home, sweating from the pain. Traffic was crazy seven
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: point thirty at night. I got home around a quarter
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: to eight. My mom saw me pale and asked, what's wrong.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: I told her my groin hurts. She said, take some
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: tile and all. I went to the bathroom to check myself,
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: touching to see if something was there. I thought, why
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: does it hurt this much? I came out, lay down
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: and started crying from the pain. My mom asked again,
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: what's wrong. I said, it hurts so much. She said,
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: stop joking already, and then I threw up from the pain.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: That's when she said, Miguel Angel, what's happening to you?
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: I told her, please call an ambulance. They called one,
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: and my legs started shaking uncontrollably. We rushed to the hospital.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: We got there around nine. They told me we can't
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: do anything until we run the X rays. And I
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: was dying from the pain, the worst pain I've ever
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: felt in my life, never before, and never again. They
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: did the tests. They made me drink contrast. I was
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: screaming in pain, crying, drinking it through a straw. Finally
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: they checked the X rays. One urder was clear, the
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: other was blocked. I had a one centimeter kidney stone.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: No way I could pass it. They said, this is
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: surgery and we have to do it now. On the
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: way to the r I told the anesthesiologist, please knock
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: me out now. I can't make it to the operating room.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: Please just put me under, and he did. He gave
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: me the mask and I was out before we got there.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: When I woke up, I was in my room with
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: a catheter. At first, I thought, perfect, no pain, everything's fine.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: Then I saw the tube, this thick hose, and a
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: little bag full of blood. I checked, lifted the gown
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: and thought, no, please, and yes, it was connected down there.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: I thought, thank god they put me under before that. Seriously,
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: it was like a movie. I woke up, saw it,
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: and right away the nurse came in. She said, we're
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: here to take out the catheter. I said all right.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: She warned, it's going to hurt a little. We'll count
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: to three. Take a deep breath, I said, okay, And
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: when she pulled it out, I swear it felt like
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: my lungs were coming out. But after that I was fine.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: Everything went back to normal. My best years were from
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: about twenty three to twenty eight. Up to that point,
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: I had been very happy, but I always carried three fears,
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: going bald, getting cancer, and death. Those were my three
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: big fears. Still, I never saw life as something dark.
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: For me. Life always felt bright. It might sound silly
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: or exaggerated, but I never worried about things like what
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: if I lose my job? What if I get sick
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: or have an accident or get mugged. No. I saw
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: life as a challenge, but a positive one, like all right,
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: what's next? Go to college? Enjoy college? Then work work hard,
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: make money, build a business, then a girlfriend, a wife,
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: a family, be happy, then travel and so on. That
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: was always my vision since high school at fifteen or sixteen,
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: If you ask me what I wanted, I'd say a family,
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: a house, some dogs. I knew exactly what kind of
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: life I wanted. I came from a close family, so
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: I always carried that dream. For me, success was having
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: a family and raising good kids. That was my idea
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: of a legacy children who'd grow up to do good
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: in the world.
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: How were you diagnosed with cancer? What happened physically that
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: made you go to the doctor. Tell us the whole story,
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: from what you felt or whatever happened to you physically,
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: all the way until you got to the doctor and
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: they gave you the news that you had cancer.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: At that time, I'd been dating the woman who would
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: become my ex wife for six months. We went to
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: visit our best friends in Miami. We went to an
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: amusement park, road roller coasters and all that, and around
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: halfway through the trip, maybe three quarters in, I started
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: feeling pain in my back. When I tried to lift
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: my right leg, I couldn't. I told my girlfriend Alexandra,
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: my back hurts, and when I lift my leg, I
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: get this electric shot. It's so weird. Maybe I moved
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: wrong on one of the rides. When we got back
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: to Mexico, I'd be walking and suddenly feel electric shocks
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: in my back. Sometimes I'd lose my breath. It kept
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: getting stranger and stranger, so I told her, you know what,
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: we need to see a doctor. This isn't normal. There
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: are everyday pains, that's fine, But when it's a pain
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: you've never felt before. You need to see a doctor always.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: We went to an orthopedist. They did X rays. He said,
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: your fourth and fifth vertebrate are rubbing pinching a nerve.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: That's what's causing it. We'll give you vitamin B shots.
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: If it keeps hurting, come back. That was on a Sunday.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: The pain stayed terrible. I called and said, listen, what
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: you did is in hell at all. So I went
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: back two days later. They said, we need an MRI
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: to see what's going on, a more focused study. They
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: scheduled it for the following Sunday. Then Monday, at work,
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: I got a call. I'll never forget it. They said, Miguelanngel,
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: we looked at your scans and we saw something in
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: your kidneys. We didn't like. We need you to come
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: back for more tests. I said, of course. When they
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: said right now, and that's when I knew something was wrong.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: I wanted to cry because I knew something wasn't right.
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: I didn't want to believe it was something terrible, but
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: I knew. I called my parents, I need to go
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: to the hospital. They saw something bad. They said, we're
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: coming with you. I called my girlfriend, I have to
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: go back. They didn't like what they saw. I told
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: my boss too, and left work at the hospital. They
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: did another MRI half an hour later. They told me
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: you can't leave. They said, we'll introduce you to some doctors,
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: soft tissue specialists. They admitted me right away. I was
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: on the top floor of Medica Sour and right there
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: I had a bad feeling because in most hospitals I
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: knew from my time as a clown doctor, oncology was
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: always on the top floor. A year earlier, I had
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: volunteered as a clown doctor, bringing laughter to patients. I
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: had always had that itch to help, and I've always
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: had a bit of a sense of humor. I believe
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: everything happens for a reason. People believe in God, or
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: in vibes and angels and destiny, but I feel life
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: led me right there. Being a clown doctor taught me
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: things I would need later when cancer entered my life.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: So when I got to the eighth floor, I thought,
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: they don't know exactly what I have, but they fear
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: it's something serious. But then I told myself stay positive.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: They don't know for sure, they suspect, but let's be positive.
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: They ran the CT scan and started asking, have you
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: hit yourself recently played contact sports? I told them, well,
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: I played football when I was younger. They kept checking
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: on me. Every two hours. Different doctors came in to
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: ask me questions, and honestly, it was starting to get annoying,
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: like what's going on here. They gave me a CT scan.
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: It's like a bigger scanner. It slices your body into
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: thicker layers. Then they said we'll do a PET scan later.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: They told me from the MRI, we already suspected it
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: was cancer. We just didn't know where it was. So
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: they did the pet scan and said, we don't know
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: exactly what it is, but it's growing. There's no need
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: for a biopsy. We'll go in operate and take out
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: whatever's there. And me foolishly, I asked the surgeon doctor
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: how big will the incision be? He said, about this big,
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: but if we don't like what we see, we'll make
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: it bigger. They told my parents the surgery will take
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: about an hour and a half. In the end, it
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: lasted four hours. They operate on me. On December twenty second,
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: two thousand and nine, when I woke up from surgery,
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: The first thing I did, foolishly was look at the scar.
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: It went down about twenty centimeters and I thought, well,
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: that's it. My stomach is ruined with the scars from before.
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: Now i'll look like some kind of gangster. Two hours later,
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: my doctor came in and said, try to bend your knee.
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: I ben it, and he said, perfect, you saved your leg.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: I didn't get it at first, but my mom, who
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: was there, just looked at me and said, they cut
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: three quarters of your left so as muscle. Your leg
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: could have been left paralyzed, but it regenerated one hundred percent.
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: On December twenty fourth, they said it's too sad for
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: you to spend Christmas here. Go home and come back
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: December thirtieth. We'll remove the staples and give you the results.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: So I went and on the thirtieth I came back.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: I was happy, thinking, okay, they'll just take out the
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: staples and that's it. Whatever bad thing was there, they
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: removed it. It's over. I was still sore from the operation,
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: but I felt fine. I went into the office. First
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: the surgeon came in, then another doctor arrived, doctor Sosa.
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: Both sat down and the first thing they asked, was
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: do you have health insurance? I said yes, Are you
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: currently working? Yes? And they told me you'll have to
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: stop working. I asked why and they said what you
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: have is osteo sarcoma. I asked, what's that? They said,
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: you have bone cancer. I stood up and the first
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: thing I did was a run to the sink, trying
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: to throw up from the shock. But nothing came out,
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: just saliva. The doctor said, calm down, but I couldn't.
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: My body wanted to throw up. The impact was just
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: too much. That first day, the only question I asked
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: was why me? Later I stopped asking that, because why
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: why me? If there are children with cancer, babies, even
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: who've done nothing wrong, they're innocent. If it happens to them,
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: why wouldn't it happen to me? That was the first
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: and last time I asked myself why me? From then on,
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: I said, Okay, I've got this. Now I move forward.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: There's no going back. The first thing that came to
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: my mind was how am I going to tell my mom.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: I didn't want to break her heart. Deep inside I
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: thought if anyone should carry this pain, it should be me,
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: not her. So I came up with a plan. I
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: told myself, let's make a pact. We'll tell Mom this
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: is just preventive, nothing serious. Of course, that was naive.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: My mom already knew since the surgery. She knew they
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: had removed a tumor and that there were metastases in
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: the spine. My parents knew, but they didn't want to
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: tell me yet. So when I went to the consultation,
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: pretending nothing was happening, they played a lot long. I said,
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: it's just preventive, right, but my mom's eyes were red.
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: She had clearly been holding back tears. Then they removed
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: the staples and told me we'll start chemo in a week.
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: I asked, how does chemo work? Is it injected laser?
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: What is it really? They explained the process, and I said,
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: can you give me some time? I just had surgery.
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: Can I have at least one more week? I want
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: to spend New Year's at home and heal a little
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: because they literally moved around my insides. But they said, no,
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: we need to start chemo in one week. You've already
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: had metastasis in your spine. We can't wait. So I said, okay,
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: if it can't wait, let's do it. That's how I
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: began in the first week of January twenty ten. I
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: asked the doctors what are my chances? They said about
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: fifty percent. My dad asked, and what's the next step.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: The doctors answered, three cycles of chemo, thirty sessions of radiation,
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: and then another three cycles of chemo. And if it
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: doesn't work, they just said, we'll see. We tried again,
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: but some things just make you stop and think. I
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: called my sister and said, they told me I only
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: have a fifty percent chance, and she answered, doctors are silly.
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: They always give you the lowest number. My daughter was
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: given no more than one month to live when she
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: was born, and today she's seventeen. She has her check challenges,
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: but she's alive. Doctors don't always know. You'll see you're
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: going to make it. My brother too, he said, don't worry,
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: you'll get through this. Everyone kept pushing positivity my way.
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: And did they tell you are currently in this stage
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: or something.
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: What they did tell me, though, was that the tumor
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: was a considerable size, about five by two and a
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: half centimeters if I remember right. Osteosarcoma is one of
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: the most aggressive cancers. It doubles in size every month.
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: It's a silent cancer. It doesn't show up in blood tests.
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: The pain I had was just a coincidence. My pain
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: was on the right side of my back and down
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: my leg, but the tumor was actually on the left side.
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: I had been in the hospital December eighth, and they
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: didn't operate until the twenty second. By then, the pain
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: had actually gone away. I kept telling them I don't
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: feel anything anymore. But thankfully destiny put me in the
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: hospital and those studies led me to the diagnosis in time.
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: Another blessing was that my dad always believed in having
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: good health insurance. When I got my first job, he
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: told me, congratulations, now we'll transfer the family policy to
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: your name. My salary back then was barely above minimum wage,
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: but he insisted and I said yes. Looking back, I'm
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: so grateful. The total bill came to about one point
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: two million pesos and I only paid around ten thousand.
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: That kind of policy doesn't even exist any more. For me,
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: that was nothing short of a miracle. I also remember Alexandra,
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: who was my girlfriend at the time later she became
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: my wife. She was traveling and as soon as she
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: got back, I told her I've been diagnosed with cancer.
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: I need to know if you'll stay with me. If
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: you can't, I'll understand. But if you're in, I need
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: you to be one hundred percent, not ninety eight, not
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: ninety nine, a hundred and she said I'm in, and
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: she truly was. She stood by me, not a hundred,
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: but one thousand percent. That's something I'll always be grateful for.
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: At that time, I was working as a sales manager
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: for a Dutch promotional products company. I went to my
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: boss and said, this is the situation. I can't stop working.
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: I need to keep my insurance active and I also
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: want to keep contributing. And honestly, things were going well
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: at work. I was helping the company grow and they
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: were supporting me. It was a win win. They treated
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: me with incredible kindness for which I'll always be thankful.
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: The plan was this, every month, i'd miss one week
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: for treatment. My chemo cycles worked like this. The first
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: one started on a Saturday, a continuous trip Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday.
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: Those were the hardest days. Then I'd rest Wednesday through Friday.
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: The next Saturday, i'd go back from nine am to
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: one pm. Same on the following week. That completed one
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: full cycle of three weeks. The plan was three cycles,
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: then thirty radiation sessions, and then three more cycles. Radiation,
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: compared to chemo, felt almost like a break. You just
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: lie down on a machine. A sort of big eye
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: moves around you, buzzing for two or three minutes on
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: each side, and that's it. Five sessions a week, Monday
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: through Friday. What it did, though, was burn the skin.
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: I had to use a special cream like a sunscreen
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: to stop it from blistering. My skin turned red and painful,
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: almost like a wax burn. During this time, I also
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: got devastating news. My doctor, doctor Sosa, who was a
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: brilliant oncologist, passed away suddenly from a stroke that shook me.
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: I had built trust with him. But then doctor Gabriella
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: Alvarado took over my case and she became the one
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: who carried me through. At first I was scared, but
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: my trust in her never faded. She was the right
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: doctor for me. The team suggested placing a catheter because
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: chemo was damaging my veins, but I resisted. I didn't
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: want more scars, another surgery. I admit it. I was
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: a bit vain so I kept going with intravenous chemo,
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: even though it was painful. Everyone said, well, it's your decision.
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: I had just come out of surgery. I felt bad
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: and very uncomfortable because I could feel my organs moving
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: all over the place. It's a twenty centimeter operation, and
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: I felt like I had a huge cut. But one
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: thing I can tell you, I was willing to try anything.
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: If someone said this might help, I gave it a shot.
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: My sister once told me about something called the blue
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: Scorpion remedy all the way in Guanajuato. I was barely
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: twelve days post surgery, still weak, but they took me there.
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: They handed me this tiny vial, told me to refrigerate it,
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: and I drank it. Honestly, it just gave me terrible gastritis,
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: and on top of chemo, it was unbearable. I lasted
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: a week on it before I stopped. I also tried
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: natural medicine with a man named Yvonne Galvan, juices, supplements,
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: all kinds of things. I believe faith in the treatment
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: is what makes the difference. When people from the office
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: brought me special juices, even if they tasted awful, I
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: drank them. One thing about chemo is that your sense
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: of smell changes. At least for me, everything became more intense.
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: Some smells I just couldn't handle anymore. For example, the
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: smell of school cafeterias. I couldn't stand it, so I
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: stopped eating certain things. Whatever I could tolerate I kept.
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: Whatever I couldn't I let go. I was also allergic
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: to one of the chemo drugs. The treatment was a
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: horrible trilogy cisplatin, iphosphor made and another one I can't
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: even remember now. Together they were brutal. The continuous drip
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: lasted until Tuesday, and it was awful. Usually my mom
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: stayed with me during the long chemos, the ones from
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: Saturday to Tuesday, and for the short ones Saturday mornings
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: from nine to one. My dad stayed with me. Having
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: them there was vital. Sharing what I was going through
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: instead of keeping it inside made all the difference. The
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: more good energy you receive, the better. What doesn't help
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: are those comments people sometimes make, Oh, my grandma had
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: cancer and she passed away. Honestly, if you know someone
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: who is going through this, avoid saying things like that.
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: If you have something positive to say, share it. If not.
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: It's better to say nothing. The hardest part is how
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: treatment changes your body. I remember looking in the mirror
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: and not recognizing myself. I had always been into exercise,
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: always stayed fit, and suddenly I was pale, bald, with
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: no eyebrows, puffy from the cortizone. I didn't see myself anymore.
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: Now, tell us in depth how your treatments were. What
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: what is a chemotherapy room like? We want you to
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: tell us what it's really like.
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: And let me tell you how a chemo room really is.
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: Not like in the movies. You don't just sit alone.
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: Nurses prepare the medication and connect you. They explain what
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: you might feel nausea, discomfort, But the truth is only
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: someone who has lived through it can describe it. The
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: first twenty seconds are unforgettable. You feel your body heating up,
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: You feel the chemo traveling through your veins, then down,
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: and suddenly it's like food rising and getting stuck in
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: your throat. That sensation stayed with me every single time
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: through all six cycles. Then come the side effects, loss
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: of appetite and in my case, a terrible constipation, something
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: I had never experienced before. If I had to describe
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: the average feeling during chemo, it's like being hungover. All
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: the time, I developed strategies to survive it. The worst
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: was always the long chemo Saturday through Tuesday, because it
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: was non stop. By day two, I would feel like
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: I couldn't go on. But I had this mindset, I
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: will not vomit. I believed every bite of food was
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: fuel for my body to fight another day. When nausea
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: was unbearable, I'd ask my mom for half a pill
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: of anti nausea meds to fall asleep. I'd wake up
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: still queasy, but better, and sometimes craving saved me. Suddenly
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: I'd say I want a Tamale sandwich, and my dad
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: would go get one from a little stand outside the hospital.
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: Or sometimes I craved sushi. Doctors would say, as long
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: as you're eating, that's what matters. So I followed my cravings,
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: whatever they were, Tamale's sushi, whatever my body asked for,
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: I ate it. It's funny because before all this, if
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: I drank too much, I would always end up throwing up.
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: I hated that, but with chemo, I promised myself, this
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: is my moment. I won't throw up, not now. By
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: the third round, of chemo. I couldn't hold it anymore.
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: I had promised myself I wouldn't throw up, and I
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: kept that promise through the first two cycles, but in
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: the third it was brutal. There came a moment when
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: I truly thought, that's it. I can't take this anymore.
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: I even told my mom, please give me something, anything
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: to make me sleep. I can't go on. I remember drooling,
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: lying there, asking her to pass me the pill, the
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: full dose. This time, I beg, please, I can't handle it,
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: just let me sleep, and then I fell asleep. I
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: saw these green shadows as I drifted off, and when
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: I woke up, it was as if nothing had happened.
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: The first three cycles were the hardest, the first one
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: because I was still fresh out of surgery, the second
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: because I insisted on an intravenous chemo and my veins burst.
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: The medicine leaked into my muscles and it felt like
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: my arms were on fire. I couldn't let anyone touch
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: my forearms. The pain was unbearable. By the third cycle,
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: they finally operated to insert the catheter, but again I
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: was recovering from surgery and weak. Those three cycles were
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: a nightmare. Another challenge was the anti nausea meds. At first,
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: the doctors were still adjusting the right dose for me.
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: Since every person reacts differently, it took time to get
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: it right. There were also other treatments I received. One
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: was called transfer factor. It was made only at the
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: Polytechnic Institute and only available by prescription. It was injected
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: intramuscularly and hurt terribly, but I believe it helped me.
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: Another was nupagen to boost my white blood cells. That
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: one was injected in my abdomen, also painful. When I
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: counted everything, in just one year, I had been injected
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: over two hundred and fifty times, two hundred and fifty needles.
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: Looking back, I believe I made it through thanks to
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: four things. First, faith, whatever you believe in God, destiny,
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: positive energy. Second, the doctors who treated me. Third, my
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: own determination to stay positive. And fourth the people around me,
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: my family, my friends. Those four pillars carried me through.
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: Without them, I don't think I'd be here today. Of course,
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: dark thoughts came too. Sometimes I asked myself, what if
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: I don't make it, what will happen to my family?
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: But I tried to push those thoughts away. My prayer
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: was always the same, God, don't save me for me,
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: save me for my parents, for my siblings, because if
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: I go, they will suffer much more than I will.
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: The emotional side was the hardest. Every time I knew
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: a long chemo was coming from Saturday to Tuesday, the
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: fear was overwhelming. The night before, a psychologist would visit
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: me to give me therapy, to prepare me mentally for
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: what I already knew was coming. The first time, you
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: don't know what to expect, but the second time you'd do.
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: And that's the hardest part, knowing exactly what will happen.
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: You see those little bottles dripping endlessly, drop after drop,
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: always the same measure, never ending. That weighs on your
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: mind more than on your body. My dad had his
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: own way of helping me. On Saturdays, my chemo started
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: at nine am, but by one pm he'd give me
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: something to sleep. I'd wake up and just like that,
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: the session was over for me. Those were the easy ones,
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: but the long cycles from Saturday until Tuesday were different.
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: The drip was continuous, and I felt so bad that
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: they often kept me in the hospital until Thursday. During
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: those days, I forced myself to get up and walk
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: around the oncology ward with my IV poll at least
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: once or twice a day. Sometimes I'd hear screams from
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: other rooms because another patient had just passed away. Once
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: I even saw a police officer standing guard outside a room,
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: another life gone. Honestly, it felt like being a soldier
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: in a war, bullets flying around you, never knowing when
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: one would hit you. I didn't know if my chema
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: was working. Physically, it was already agony, but emotionally watching
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: others lose their battles was even harder. I always told
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: myself this, this is just preventive. I'm not sick, this
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: is preventive. I kept repeating that, but every once in
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: a while, a dark thought crossed my mind, what if
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: I don't make it? And I had to push it
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: away immediately. So I tried to live as normally as possible,
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: within my limits. I even went to my brother's wedding
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: while I was in the middle of radiation treatments. For me,
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: radiation was like a spring break compared to chemo. My
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: hair started to grow back. I felt stronger, and I
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: wanted to enjoy the moment. I remember during the wedding
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: they started the Vibora de la mar dance and I
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: got in front, pulling twenty people behind me. When it
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: was over, I sat down at the table, completely drained,
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: like I had just finished an iron man. I turned
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: to Ali and said, it's time to go. I feel exhausted,
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: not sick, not nauseous, just completely worn out. But I
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: never let anyone treat me like a victim. No one
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: ever said, poor guy, he has cancer, and I'm glad though.
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: One day I was driving on Palmis and Peripherico and
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: I almost ran a red light. A guy yelled at me,
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: watch it baldi. I looked at him and thought I
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: should tell him I'm bald because of cancer, not by choice,
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: but I didn't say anything. What did hurt, though, was
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: the way people stared. When you have cancer, people can tell,
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: just like you notice when someone is missing a leg
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: or an arm, or has any visible condition. People often
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: look too long, either out of pity or curiosity, and
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: that makes you feel uncomfortable. What we want in those
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: moments is simple to be treated like anyone else, no pity,
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: no special looks, just normal. That's the greatest gift you
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: can give someone going through this. What you want is
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: to go on with your life in a normal way.
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: The last thing you want is to feel sick. What
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: you want is to feel good and just keep moving
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: forward with your life. What you want is to move
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: on no matter who you are, whether you're missing an arm,
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: whether you don't have a breaast, whatever physical limitation you
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: may have. What's most needed is for people to have
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: empathy through inclusion and sometimes through indifference. If you see
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: someone who's bald, without eyebrows, pale, or scarred, just look
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: past it. For us, that's the best way to feel normal,
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: to keep moving forward. When I was going through treatment,
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: I always thought, if you're going to look at me,
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: let it be to give me strength. If you can't
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: stop looking, then at least cheer me on, smile at me,
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: give me some encouragement. Cancer is not just a disease
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: that affects the patient. It affects the whole family. I
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: knew that if I didn't see strength in them, it
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: would affect me directly. But at the same time, if
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: I ever sat down and asked my family how they
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: were really feeling, it would have been a sea of tears.
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: I knew they were suffering behind the scenes, crying when
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: I wasn't around, but together we decided we had to laugh,
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: we had to stay positive. I remember at the time
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: it was either the Confederation's Cup or the Club World Cup,
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: I can't remember which, And in the hospital we turned
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: it into a party. My parents even snuck to Kila
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: into the room. We tried to make every single moment happy,
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: because if we let the dark conversations take over, it
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: was going to drag us all down. I remember one
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: time my brother said, I'm going to fast with you
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: as a sacrifice, and I told him don't do that,
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: because if you get weak, it'll only make things harder.
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: It was always better to have distractions, to laugh, to
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: make sure everyone felt lighter. That's what gave me energy,
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: and I'm deeply grateful to everyone, especially my mom and dad,
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: who always stayed strong with good humor. My friends too,
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: when they came to visit me at the hospital, it
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: was always laughter and joy. Those moments were pure fuel
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: for me. Even at home between chemo sessions, friends came over.
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: One of them, Alejandro de los Rios, shaved his head
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: with me. I was terrified of going bald. He had
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: also survived cancer, so he knew when I told him
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: about my diagnosis. He immediately said, don't worry, I'll bring
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: my clippers and we'll shave together, and he did. I'll
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: always be grateful for that gesture. Honestly, in those weak moments,
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: my friends and family carried me forward, especially my parents.
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: I never wanted them to suffer because of me. I've
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: always thought a child should never go before their parents,
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: and back then, I kept telling myself, I still have
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: so much to live. I want to get married, I
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: want to have kids, I want to build a family.
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: I can't go yet. I'm too young for this. My
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: treatment ended in September, and they told me that in October,
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: right before my birthday, I would get a pet CT scan.
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: That's when they would give me the results. And then
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: they told me there are no more cancer cells in
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: your body. You're in remission. I can't describe what I felt.
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: It was like God or life or destiny or whatever
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: you want to call it, had given me a second chance.
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: It felt like they lifted a fifty thousand kilo backpack
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: off my shoulders. I walked out of the hospital and
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: saw the sky, this deep, bright blue sky. I had
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: never seen it like that before, and I was so
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: so happy. That same week was my birthday, and I
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: celebrated like never before. Honestly, I don't remember much, maybe
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: just an hour of that night. The next day, I
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: woke up with a horrible pain in my neck and
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: I thought, Oh, no, what now, what's happening to me now?
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: But no, it was just because I had spent two
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: hours leaning over the toilet from celebrating too hard. And honestly,
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: it was justified because for the first time in so long,
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: I was completely happy.
• 47:42
  Speaker 2: Who were you with when they told you that you
• 47:44
  Speaker 2: no longer had cancer? Alone?
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: When I got the news that I was clear, I
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: chose to be alone. I didn't want anyone with me.
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: In that exact moment, I don't even remember when I
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: called my girlfriend. I don't remember when I called my brothers.
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: I do remember that I called my parents first. I
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: think I was so excited, so shocked by what was happening,
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: that the details of that moment are blurry. But I
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: do remember how completely happy I felt knowing that so
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: many people had prayed for me. At my dad's job,
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: people who didn't even know me personally joined prayer chains
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: for me. My mom's friends prayed too, and I truly
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: believe that all of those prayers, all of that positive energy,
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: helped me a lot. I'll always be grateful for that
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: because I feel like nowadays people say I hope it
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: gets better, but they don't really put their heart into it.
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: Back then, people really prayed for me, they really cared.
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: That meant the world. At the same time, it also
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: makes me sad thinking of those who didn't make it.
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: Why was I saved and not them? They were good
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: people too. Sometimes I still ask myself that, what.
• 49:19
  Speaker 2: Do you think about the initiatives around dying with dignity?
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: Well, nobody really knows what another person is going through.
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: Some say it's wrong that only God decides when our
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: time comes, but honestly, when someone is an unbearable pain,
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: I think they should have the right to choose. If
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: a person has reached that point, it means the suffering
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: is beyond what we can imagine. When I was suffering,
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: I still wanted to fight, but I don't want to
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: even imagine the pain someone must feel to want to
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: let go. It's their body. I was suffering and I
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: wanted to keep moving forward. But if someone decides not
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: to stay here anymore, it's because the pain is just
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: too much.
• 50:12
  Speaker 2: Did you ever stop to think about the decisions that
• 50:15
  Speaker 2: would come next, Like what am I going to do
• 50:18
  Speaker 2: if the treatment didn't work out?
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: Loud I would say, bring on the next chemo. I'll
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: keep fighting, But deep inside my prayer was God, Please,
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: if it doesn't work, let it be quick. Don't let
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: me suffer more.
• 50:36
  Speaker 2: Do you have any after effects from the cancer, Miguel,
• 50:40
  Speaker 2: in any sense physical emotional? Are there any lasting effects?
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: Yes, physically and emotionally. One of the hardest was infertility.
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: When I was starting treatment, I asked, do I need
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: to freeze my sperm? They told me no because I
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: didn't have testicular cancer and the radiation was far from
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: that area, so I trusted that. Years later, when I
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: got married, my wife and I tried to have kids,
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: but it didn't happen. Doctors told us at first it
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: might be her, but then I was told the chemo
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: and radiation had been very aggressive and that was likely
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: the reason I went through all kinds of tests. My
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: oncologist told me we saved your life, and he was right.
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: But then the geneticist told me the only option was
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: a testicular biopsy. Many men refuse it because it's invasive,
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: but I said yes, having kids was always my dream.
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: I went through with it. It didn't work, and that
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: led to problems in my marriage, naturally, because that was
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: our shared dream. In the end, it ended in divorce.
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: I fell into a deep depression. It took me two
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: years of therapy to process it. Before cancer, my definition
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: of success was family, kids, a home, that kind of life.
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: After cancer, I had to redefine success. If life gave
• 52:18
  Speaker 1: me a second chance, then what was I going to
• 52:21
  Speaker 1: do with it? Today I can say I'm happy I
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: found a new mission to help as many people as
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: I can. I enjoy the simplest things Now I can't
• 52:31
  Speaker 1: have children anymore. Many women may face uterine cancer or
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: also suffer from infertility. What I can tell them is
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: rethink life. I can say that now I am happy.
• 52:46
  Speaker 1: I searched for my new life mission, like I mentioned before,
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: trying to help as many people as possible. I'll tell
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: you something, Yes, I do enjoy many things in a
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: different and new way. Something as simple as the rain,
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: a sunset, a good meal, a day without pain is
• 53:12
  Speaker 1: a blessing. I'm grateful for my family, my friends. I
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: think people don't realize what they have until they almost
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: lose it. Health, family, a roof over your head. Those
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: are the true treasures of life. That's real. Well. Do
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: I still fear death? Yes? I still have dreams, goals,
• 53:36
  Speaker 1: things I want to live. That hasn't changed. I still
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: want many more years. And about the afterlife, I don't know.
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: Maybe heaven may be reincarnation. I honestly don't know, and
• 53:51
  Speaker 1: I don't want to find out anytime soon. What I
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: do know is this, I want to live here now,
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: I want to be happy here, and I want to
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: live many more years.
• 54:05
  Speaker 2: Do you live in fear that the cancer might come back?
• 54:08
  Speaker 1: That's something I try to block from my mind every
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: single day. When I see a show or even a
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: TikTok about someone with cancer, I try not to think
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: about it because fear. Fear is the worst thing you
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: can live with, and living in fear is not truly living.
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: I do my regular checkups every year. Around the second
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: or third year, they had to do a double check
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: on my liver because something looked odd. They told me
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: I needed a follow up MRI. I was really nervous,
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: but it turned out that both walls of my liver
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: lit up at the same time, so it looked suspicious.
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: In the end, it was nothing, just a coincidence, but
• 54:56
  Speaker 1: it gave me a huge scare.
• 54:59
  Speaker 2: What would do you say to people who have never
• 55:01
  Speaker 2: been close to a cancer patient? What do you think
• 55:04
  Speaker 2: they need to hear in order to develop more empathy
• 55:06
  Speaker 2: toward the illness?
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: Never ever ever make them feel sick. Always be positive.
• 55:13
  Speaker 1: Never say things like, oh my aunt died of that
• 55:16
  Speaker 1: poor You don't send messages of pity, only messages of encouragement.
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: Make them feel like they're fine, that the treatment is working,
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: that they're going to make it. Always stay positive. I
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: hope that anyone going through it always has someone by
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: their side for support. I hope that families of cancer
• 55:40
  Speaker 1: patients have the strength to be that support system. And
• 55:46
  Speaker 1: I hope no one ever loses faith because miracles do exist.
• 55:52
  Speaker 1: No matter how bad the news is, there's always a
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: chance to turn it around. I know people who are
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: basically given no hope and still survived. So no matter
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: how bad the diagnosis looks, stay positive. If there are
• 56:08
  Speaker 1: other treatments, allopathic, holistic, natural, whatever it is, if you
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: believe in it, go for it, have faith and keep
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: moving forward. Always forward. My name is Miguel L. Calvega,
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: and I am a cancer survivor.