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Small Wins, Big Momentum · Start Your Comeback: Rebuilding after Divorce, Empty Nest, and Loss of Spouse

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Is there a major life transition pinching you?
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: I know you may be asking, what's next?
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_01: What's my purpose?
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_01: What if?
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_01: Because I've asked those two.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Start Your Comeback Podcast.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Tony Thrash, a certified life coach, and I want to share the tools and practical steps to help you create a winning game plan to move into your new adventure.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_01: Last week we talked about the small habits that help you stay grounded when life throws you into transition.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: Basically, the basics that hold you together when everything feels shaky.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_01: Today we're moving into something that keeps you going once you found your footing.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_01: The power of small wins.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: Because when you're rebuilding your life after divorce or retirement, emptiness, or just even a major life reset, you need something that says, I'm making progress.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: But that progress often doesn't come in big leaps.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: It comes in little wins that whisper, hey, keep going.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: So let's jump in.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: Number one, let's redefine what a win looks like.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: When you're in a season of transition, it's easy to measure your progress against your old life.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_01: You think, I used to be so confident, or I used to have more energy.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: I used to have a plan.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm here to tell you, your wins now won't look like they did before.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_01: They're smaller, they're quieter, but they carry more weight.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: A win might be, hey, you got out of bed today and took a shower.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_01: Or you paid one bill on time when it felt like it was impossible.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you called a friend instead of isolating.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_01: And the big one, you didn't spiral after an emotional trigger.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: You breathe and let it pass.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: You see, those are wins.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: They count because they move you forward one degree at a time.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: When I was going through my own life transition, I had to completely reevaluate what success looks like.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: Because I wasn't in a marriage anymore.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_01: I wasn't juggling a busy house full of kids.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: I was just trying to get through each day with my sanity intact.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: But I started giving myself credit for small victories and it changed everything.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: So let's remember progress isn't perfection.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_01: It's just you participating.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to win the whole game, but you do have to keep showing up on the court.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: Number two, keep a win list, like a W I N list.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_01: Now, it actually works because your eye can see it.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: So grab your journal and start a win list.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_01: At the end of each day, write down three things you did well, no matter how small.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: Of course, they will seem silly to everyone but you.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_01: Number one, maybe I didn't cry at work today.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: I made dinner instead of eating cereal again.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: I went for a walk.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_01: Because what happens is your brain starts to shift focus from what's broken to what's building.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: You start to see progress.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: What you see lets our brain know we are still in the game, folks.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: And seeing progress creates momentum.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: When I coach clients through transitions, this is one of the first things I ask them to do because we have a bad habit of remembering only what went wrong.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_01: The win list reminds you of what's right.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_01: So what you track, you'll start to trust again.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_01: And then you'll begin to trust your ability to move forward, and that's where your confidence starts to rebuild.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_01: Number three, celebrate without comparison.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: You see, this one's the tough one because I like to think I should be where everyone else is in this process.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_01: But it's hard to do that when we all of a sudden see someone else's highlight reel.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I'm talking about.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_01: You're feeling good about your progress until you scroll Instagram or Facebook or wherever and see someone posting about their new relationship, their new home, or their perfectly staged life after loss.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: Listen, comparison steals contentment.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: You can't rebuild your life if you're too busy measuring it against someone else's.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_01: You see, their pace is not your pace.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: Your story is not their story.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: And honestly, they're not showing you the whole story anyway.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_01: So instead of comparing, celebrate.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: Celebrate yourself.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_01: Take a small moment and celebrate your friend's success without questioning your own and then questioning whether they are ready or not.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_01: Just celebrate them.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: You will be amazed at how freeing it is to clap for others just while staying rooted in your own journey.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_01: Celebration will restore your contentment without the comparison.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: Number four, why small wins matter so much.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: Here's the psychology behind it.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_01: Now I I'm not a psychologist, so but small wins release dopamine.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_01: And that's the feel-good chemical in your brain that motivates you to keep going.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's literally the brain's way of rewarding consistency.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: That's why we feel good after finishing a walk or completing a task or even crossing something off of that long to-do list we have.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_01: You see, you're building momentum chemically and emotionally, and it's not about your ego, it's just about your endurance and your willingness to be present.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_01: Small wins give you proof that you can do hard things even in hard seasons.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: And that belief, that muscle of confidence that we're building is what carries you through the next challenge.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_01: It creates muscle memory as you build your confidence.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, here's your challenge for this week.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: I want you to write down three small wins every single day for the next seven days.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: Don't overthink it, don't edit it, just write what's true.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_01: Then, if you want a bonus round, I'd love for you to share one of those wins on social media and tack me at Tony Thrash.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_01: Let's create a ripple of small wins together.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_01: Because when one person celebrates progress, it gives everyone else permission to do the same.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_01: Remember, your comebacks or our comebacks are not built overnight.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: They're built one small, quiet, consistent win or brick at a time.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: You may not feel like you're moving fast, but you are moving.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: You may not see the whole road ahead, but each small win is another mile marker on your way home to yourself.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: And that, my friend, is a big win.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: Just don't discount the small stuff because that's where the transformation starts.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_01: If today's episode spoke to you, I would love it if you would leave a review.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_01: And then maybe share it with one other person who needs a small win today.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_01: And remember, your life isn't over, it's just under construction.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_01: So keep showing up, stacking up those small wins, and trust the big comeback is already underway.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_01: I'll see you next time.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, thanks for listening.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_01: I don't take it for granted that you're here.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: You didn't listen by mistake.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: If you want to reach out, you can DM me on Instagram at Tony Thrash.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: Until next week, remember, there's still time left on the clock.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: Let's get you off the bench to start your comeback.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: I want to give a special shout out to Country Club for the original music.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: You can find them on Instagram at Country Club.