Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / 135. Remy Park, Creator of @Veggiekins & Holistic Nutritionist

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135. Remy Park, Creator of @Veggiekins & Holistic Nutritionist · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Sometimes you just have to sit with the softness and
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  Speaker 1: the emotion and the feeling and just to be open
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: to it, to be receptive and know that feeling is
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  Speaker 1: part of feeling.
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: Hey everyone, Emily Abadi here bringing you Episode one thirty
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  Speaker 2: five of Hurdle, a wellness focused podcast where I sit
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  Speaker 2: down with inspiring individuals to talk about everything from their
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  Speaker 2: big wins to how they've gotten through some of life's
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: toughest moments. On the show, you can expect vulnerability, a motivation,
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: and candid discussions with everyone from top athletes to aspiring
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  Speaker 2: entrepreneurs on what it really takes to follow your passions.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: My mission is simple to inspire you to be your
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  Speaker 2: best self, move with intention, and have some fun along
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: the way. Before I talk to you about today's episode,
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: I would be remiss not to mention that I am
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: on Cloud nine. I'm not a singer. Don't want this
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: voice ever fool you. I am a nine time marathoner.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: I ran a virtual New York City over the weekend
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: at clocking your three twenty four eighteen personal best, and
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: I am just beside myself with gratitude and oh man,
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: I will be telling you all about it in this
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  Speaker 2: week's upcoming hurdle moment, So stay tuned. All the details,
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: all the dirt, all the low down is coming your
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: way today for the show, I am chatting with Remy Park.
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: She is the blogger behind the wildly popular food blog
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: veggiekins Now. Remy and I we met god maybe a
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: year and a half ago or so at the Big Quiet,
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: which is a mass meditation event that is founded actually
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: by past hurdler Jesse Israel, and we've enjoyed keeping up
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: with each other ever since, so we connected for today's episode.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: I wanted to have her on the show because from
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: following her and from talking to her, I know she
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: has just a really interesting story. She talks in today's
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: episode about the difficult relationship she had with food from
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: an early age, actually developing disordered eating patterns as early
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: as seven years old. She tells me about how she
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: got through that chapter in her life and the steps
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: that she took to overcome this disordered eating, as well
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: as what it was like to seek out other interventional
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: therapies for various substance abuse. Today, she is living a
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: much healthier and happier lifestyle, also a vegan lifestyle, which
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: we get into a lot into today's episode. I had
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: so many questions about that, and she gives us all
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  Speaker 2: the details on her first impressions of veganism, what it's
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: like for her to be working for herself, how she
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: makes money as a blogger, and we talk about what
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: it's like to be in a long distance relationship kind
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: of crazy, especially right now with all the travel restrictions
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: and her partner living in Amsterdam. I really like this conversation.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: It felt like sitting down with a good friend, and
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: I know that you all are going to dig it
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: as well. Thank you again for all the support over
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: the weekend. The love was real and I'm so grateful
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: for this community. If you like what you are listening to,
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: and I hope that you do, please make sure to
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: head on in to the iTunes store and leave a
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: positive review. It only takes a few minutes. It's an
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: easy way to support both me and the podcast, and
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: it means the world. Also keep up with Hurdle on
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: the socials at Hurdle Podcast and I am over at
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: Emily Abody and of course links to the Super Secret
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: Hurdlers Facebook group and the Weekly Hurdle newsletter and book
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: club registration. So many ways for us to connect. All
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: of those links are in the show notes. Keeping a
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: short and sweet this week. With that, let's get to
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  Speaker 2: hurdling Today. I am sitting down with Remy Park. She
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: is a health and wellness blogger behind me wildly popular
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: site Veggikins. How are you doing today, Remy, I'm good.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: I'm doing well. It's a rainy day, but you know,
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: things have been worse, so I'm not complaining.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: It is a little bit gloomy here today. It's also,
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: you know, with Corona and not using public transportation as much.
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  Speaker 2: It's funny because you and I are technically in the
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: same city, but it just feels like we are so
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: far away because huh.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: Right, we're a central park away.
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: Just a central park away. And I do have to
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  Speaker 2: tell you confession the other day when you sent me
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: a voice note to chat about us setting this up.
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: I am not typically a voice note person, but for you,
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: I didn't mind it.
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  Speaker 1: I love that.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: I find that people have a lover hate relationship with it.
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: It's either you love it or you hate it, and
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  Speaker 1: I figured maybe she'll be into it. She's a podcaster.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: Mostly it's laziness on my part because my thumbs are
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: on the phone all day, so I'm like, I'll just
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  Speaker 1: see what happens.
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  Speaker 2: I am hearing the sound of my own voice quite
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: a bit, if we're being honest, But away from the
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: voice notes, I want to get into your story. I
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: want to hear about your upbringing. Today, you are constantly
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: surrounded by food. You have a pretty stellar wellness routine.
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: I know you have a regular yoga practice. So talk
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: to me about what life was like for you growing
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: up and if you were always this interested in health, wellness,
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  Speaker 2: and specifically food.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: So I grew up in the New Jersey and New
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: York area until I was about seven, and then my
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: family decided to start doing this thing where my dad
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: would work overseas. The first move was to Taiwan, and
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: at the time I had no idea where it was.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: I kind of thought that maybe it was like close
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: to Texas. I really didn't understand the scope of like
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: what it meant to be moving overseas, and I hadn't
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  Speaker 1: really traveled outside of this area either, so it was
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: definitely a shock to me. We moved there, and then
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: we moved a couple of other times within Asia, so
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  Speaker 1: we've lived in spent a good chunk of time in Thailand,
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  Speaker 1: and most recently, my parents have been in Shanghai for
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: like the last ten years or so. So my upbringing
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: was definitely a little bit abnormal in the sense that
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: we moved very often, but we also weren't living with
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  Speaker 1: the locals. We were kind of in this expat bubble.
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  Speaker 1: I went to international schools there, so I was still
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  Speaker 1: learning in English, but I also learned Mandarin on the side,
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  Speaker 1: for example. And I guess it was pretty cool because
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: my classmates were from all over the world, so a
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  Speaker 1: lot of them were from the US, but you'd also
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  Speaker 1: have European families there. You'd have other Asian country families
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: in that country, like also living as expats. It was
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: definitely a little bit of a bubble in a sense
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  Speaker 1: because I no longer really felt like I was super American,
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  Speaker 1: but I also knew that I wasn't fitting into the
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  Speaker 1: local culture, so that was different. And as it relates
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: to food, I was always a really picky kid. I mean,
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  Speaker 1: I grew up with like the process fast food things.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: I used to eat. Spam was one of my favorite foods. Surprisingly,
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  Speaker 1: I loved like the really crappy hot dogs not like
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  Speaker 1: nice Franks or anything like that. But the more process
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  Speaker 1: the better. It was like just something that I genuinely
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: enjoyed when I was younger living here, and when I
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: moved overseas, like around the age of seven, I actually
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: developed an eating disorder, And so I would say that
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  Speaker 1: I definitely wasn't a fan of food growing up. It
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: was something that I had a lot of fear around.
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  Speaker 1: I think that it was maybe a combination of just
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: genetics and this need for control and a time where
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: my life was changing so much. But food was a
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: struggle for me until about I want to say, high school,
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  Speaker 1: and it started pretty young. I think that's something that
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: was kind of hard for me to understand, was that
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  Speaker 1: it could start so young. I think when we think
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: of eating disorders, we think it's something that happens kind
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: of in your adolescence or your teen years. But for me,
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: it was pretty young. And it wasn't until around high
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  Speaker 1: school college time that I just couldn't keep up with
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  Speaker 1: it anymore. I wanted to still be athletic, but I
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  Speaker 1: just didn't have the energy so stopped doing, you know,
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  Speaker 1: most of the sports that I enjoyed, and by the
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  Speaker 1: time I got to college, I was like, Okay, this
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  Speaker 1: is my chance to really take food into my own
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  Speaker 1: hands and really get a grip on like nourishment and
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  Speaker 1: feeding myself and having a healthy relationship with food. So around,
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  Speaker 1: I guess between high school and college was when I
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  Speaker 1: decided to go vegan, and I had started my recovery
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: process before that. But it was interesting because I was
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  Speaker 1: a little bit concerned that veganism would be restrictive, which
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  Speaker 1: is not something you typically want to do if you're
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  Speaker 1: recovering from a restrictive eating disorder. But I actually found
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  Speaker 1: that it strengthened my relationship with food a lot, because
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  Speaker 1: I felt like it gave me purpose to eat food
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  Speaker 1: made me feel really good knowing that I was having
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  Speaker 1: a positive impact on the environment, you know, the lives
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  Speaker 1: of animals for example, and also just the physical feeling of,
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  Speaker 1: you know, eating so many fruits and veggies that I
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  Speaker 1: never wanted to eat before. You know, there's also less
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  Speaker 1: labeling involved when it comes to like just produce, so
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  Speaker 1: I found that to be really healing for me, and
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  Speaker 1: that's kind of how the blog started. So it's funny,
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  Speaker 1: but my relationship with food has never been great until
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: I started my blog, and I think people may assume
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  Speaker 1: otherwise when they hear, like, oh, you're a food blogger,
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  Speaker 1: but that's kind of the origin of everything.
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  Speaker 2: Wow. Okay, so we're jumping right into the swing of
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  Speaker 2: things here. Let's definitely stop and chat about being seven
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  Speaker 2: years old with an eating disorder. I mean, what do
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: you think, beside an influx of change brought that on
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  Speaker 2: for you.
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  Speaker 1: I definitely think there is a biological component, because I
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: know that in my family there is depression, anxiety OCD.
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  Speaker 1: I also have diagnosed OCD, and it's kind of along
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: that spectrum. OCD and anxiety and ANAREXITYA they all kind
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: of happen a lot together. It's very common to see
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: that diagnosed and that comorbidity. But I think that a
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: big thing for me too was moving from the US
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  Speaker 1: to a country where a processed food wasn't as big
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: of a thing. I definitely remember noticing that, like I
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: felt like I still had this kind of baby fat
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  Speaker 1: that nobody else had once I moved to Taiwan, and
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: it was maybe just the difference in the culture and
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: what foods were available. You know, you couldn't really find
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: processed hot dogs over there or like rice crispy treats,
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: for example. So maybe it's just like this difference in lifestyle,
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: but I felt like I was different and it was
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: the first time I noticed my body and felt big.
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: And then, you know, at the same time, I was
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: taking gymnastics and I was doing ballet, and I feel
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: like those are sports that inherently just make you a
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: little bit more self conscious because it's very much focused
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: on like the form, the shape, the line, and you're
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: wearing these leotards. So I think it was maybe a
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: combination of everything, but I do believe that part of
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: it was biology. But yeah, it's just kind of a
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: little bit of everything, I guess.
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: Wow. Okay, thank you so much for sharing, And so
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: talk to me about what disordered eating looked like for you.
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: I remember in the beginning it was a very obsessive
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: kind of counting situation, so it was focusing on the numbers,
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: the calories. I would eat, like just cucumbers, for example.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: So I would eat food, but it would be in
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: very small quantities and it would be very solid focused,
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: kind of like the typical foods that you know, diet
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: culture would have you believe are like the best for
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: whether it's like burning negative calories whatever that means, like
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: things like that. I really bought into it, and it
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: was this obsession with cardio kind of a very classic case.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: And I mean at the time, I don't think even
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: my parents who realized anything was wrong, because at that age,
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: I don't think it's something they expect to become an issue.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: But I remember that the school had called my parents
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: and said like, hey, it's a little bit concerning because
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: the way that your daughter's eating is now, you know,
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: off on her friends and they're only having salads for lunch,
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: and we just feel like that's not okay. So I'm
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: really thankful that that happened. I think at the time
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: I was definitely in denial as well. But it was
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: obvious when I got older, because you know, my friends
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: around me, like teens adolescents, like they weren't stupid, they
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: definitely knew what was going on. And I noticed that
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: my energy level was just I couldn't keep up anymore.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: But it was something that I was in denial about
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: for a really long time.
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: And when your parents were brought into the loop, I'm curious,
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: what if anything changed at home.
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: I think that what changed a lot was breakfast and dinner.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: You know, Lunch was definitely where I had the most control,
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: and that was a big issue for me, and I
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: think why it was so difficult, And I was definitely
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: lying about it. And I think that's something that's really
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: common when you have a disorder, like an addiction to
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: whether it's restricting or to substances, that you are a
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: very good liar because you're lying to other people, but
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: you're also lying to yourself about what's going on. And yeah,
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: I would you know, emphasize like, oh, I'm having like
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: a huge lunch, I'm having like the mac and cheese
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: at school, all these things and come home and say, oh,
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: I don't have a big appetite, or I had a
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: snack with my friend after school. So there was a
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: lot of dishonesty at the time. And it wasn't until
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: college that I was like, I really need to get
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: my shit together because I don't have parents that are
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: going to look out for me anymore and make sure
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: I eat my breakfast and dinner and I have no
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: one to lie to anymore. It's just me, you know.
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: So then when did you come back to the United States?
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: So I came back for college, and that was when
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: I started therapy specifically for my eating disorder. We actually
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: had kind of these free credits to go to therapy
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: twice in a semester, and I took advantage of it,
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: and you know how it is. I kind of went
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: for just anxiety, but she was like, all right, let's
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: start at the beginning, and very quickly it was obvious
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: that I had some existing issues that were a lot
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: more alarming than just the general anxiety, and so we
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: started working on it. And that's really when I kind
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: of got my stuff together. And initially the veganism was
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: something she was a little bit come learned about, which
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: fair enough because it's not the most inclusive diet sometimes,
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: but I think she realized that it was something that
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: I was really connecting to and made me feel good
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: about food and cooking. And that's how I started my
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: Instagram accounts. So it used to be private, or I
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: thought it was private. I didn't really know you can
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: make a private account at the time. This was like
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: maybe six years ago, and I would post these recipes
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: that I was trying these different meals to show my
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: therapist that I was being compliant with my meal plan. Basically,
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: at the time because I still wanted to get through
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: school and I knew that if I were to commit
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: to like an inpatient situation, I would kind of be
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: behind all my friends in terms of like graduation and
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: getting a job. So something that I was really determined
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: to work on while still completing school, and that was
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: the origin of now Vegikan's.
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: Blog Veggiecon's blog. I love the name of it. What
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: were your initial thoughts about veganism and going vegan because
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: there are a lot of controversial opinions.
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: So I definitely had my reservations. I think the main
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: thing for me, though, was knowing that I had a
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: pretty bad intolerance to dairy because anytime I would eat pizza,
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: and funny enough, anytime I would visit my boyfriend in Amsterdam,
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: where it's all about cheese and milk, I would have
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: these insane stomach aches and I just couldn't figure it out.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: I didn't know what it was because I was like
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: the world's biggest cheese lover at the time. So I
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: decided to kind of experiment and I went dairy free
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: for just a week, and I felt incredible. It was
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: like the best feeling to just have like normal digestion,
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: I was like, Wow, this is incredible. And then I
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: was like, you know, I'm just going to kind of
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: experiment and see what this vegan stuff is all about.
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: Because I tried a recipe. It was a dairy free
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: mac and cheese that I found on this website and
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: they were like, it's vegan, and I was like, what
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: does that even mean? Like, of course it's vegan, there's
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: no meat in it. So once I kind of started
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: to familiarize myself with more blogs and I would read through,
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: you know, those long intro blurbs about the recipe, I
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: was really curious about, like what veganism was, and that's
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: kind of when I started doing my own research. The
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: most appealing thing to me, I would say, was the
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: impact on the environment, and of course like the ethic
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: behind it. But those things I didn't learn until later.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: So initially it was very much a selfish choice. It
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: was because I wanted to feel good and my digestion
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: was going well. I loved the recipes and I was like,
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: this is great. I have like fewer breakouts, less indigestion,
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: And I think the education kind of came later, and
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: that's when I really started to connect with what it
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: was all about. But in the beginning, I was like,
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: it seems unnecessary, it seems a little extreme. And my
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: parents are Asian, so to them it was like, well,
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: what can you eat? Like you can't eat anything that
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: is our cultural food. So there's a lot of judgment
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: in the family for sure. But I think the more
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: I learned about it, and the more I shared with
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: my family about it, the more it made sense to me,
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: and the more I felt good about what I was eating.
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: I feel like you never hear from people that try
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: going vegan and didn't love it. Like everyone you hear
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: about that talks about being vegan is like raving about
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: it and talking about the skin benefits and the body
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: benefits and how great everything is that is plant based.
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: And I mean, I'm sure in your experience you have
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: talked to your fair share of individuals who have had
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: some sort of an adverse reaction or did not like
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: being vegan.
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely. I mean even just my sister thinking about her,
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: she can't eat nuts, and she can't eat a couple
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: of other fruits and veggies, and for her it's really
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: difficult because a lot of it is kind of making
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: these substitute recipes out of nuts seeds to make a
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: faux dairy, for example. So it's not something that I
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: feel like would necessarily work for everyone. Like I would
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: love to believe that and say it, and I know
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: some people say it all the time, like anyone can
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: be vegan. I think it is definitely a privilege too
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: to have access to fresh fruits and veggies, And that's
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: something people often don't think about. So whether it's like
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: from a standpoint of like whether it's physically possible for
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: you to, you know, spend time cooking and have access
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: to fruits and veggies or afford that kind of food,
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: or whether it's just like a matter of what you
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: can eat and how you react to let's say beans,
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: I know that's a big one for a lot of
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: people or not, and seeds just like a ton of veggies.
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: Some people do have a little bit of like bloating
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: with that. I think it is a hard thing to
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: just kind of make a blanket statement and say anybody
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: can be But one thing I try to say is
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: that you know, as long as you're open to it,
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: and you're willing to eat maybe like a vegan meal
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: once a week, I think that's awesome, And I would
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: never really judge anyone else for what they're eating. And
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: I think that's something that when the vegan community is
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: a little bit of a maybe an issue, like we
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: do get a bad rep for being very preachy and like,
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: oh my gosh, everyone needs to be vegan and if
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: you're not, you're not doing it right. But you know,
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: just within my own family, I understand that it doesn't
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: work for everyone. So I've never been about that life.
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: You know, I'd rather just cook for you, share some
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: food with you. If you like it, that's awesome. If not,
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: like you know, it's whatever.
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, I mean, everyone has their preference from what
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: they're eating to what they're wearing. So okay, let's let's
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: wind it back to your parents. So your parents at
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: this time are still living in Shanghai, Is that right,
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: m And how was that for you?
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: You know, I think it was kind of a big
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: growing point for me because it was the first time
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: I was really really alone, aside from maybe like a
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: roommate every once in a while, I really had to
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: take care of myself, and it taught me a lot
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: about just I guess myself. It's like you have no
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: one to kind of lie to but yourself at that point,
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: and I really kind of got tired of my own
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: BS and I wanted to do well. I wanted to graduate,
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: and I wanted to kind of grow up and be
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: an adult. And I was like, how can I focus
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: on anything or growth if I'm focused on restricting myself.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: And I did feel like I was limiting myself from
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: a lot of things that I wanted to do and
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: to experience because I was so focused and obsessed with food,
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: even things like socializing, for example, And that's a big
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: thing when you have an eating disorder. It's like it
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: can cause a lot of anxiety eating out, eating with
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: other people, and you know, knowing that when you're in
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: college you have to eat at a cafeteria like every day,
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: I didn't have the luxury of like being awkward about food.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: It was like, look, I've got to get a this,
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: I've got to focus on school. And that was super
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: helpful for me too also to see that I guess
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: there was a big emphasis on eating and loving your body.
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: Like the school that I went to was an all
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: women's college here in the city, and not necessarily to
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: say that, like an all Women's college means it's like
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: a body positive environment. But I did feel like it
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: was a very inclusive, diverse environment. There wasn't really a
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: lot of like negative self talk, and I found that
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: to be very helpful too, just like the environment I
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: was in was the perfect place for healing.
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: I love hearing that. And I mean, whether it's an
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: eating disorder or some other hurdle, a lot of this stuff,
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: especially at the beginning, when you're trying to get through
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: it, it can really feel like everest. I'm curious to know
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: if you can articulate any of the smaller steps that
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: you took in your journey to recovery that really made
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: a major difference.
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: So I actually I think this is somewhat unrelated, but
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: I started attending meetings AA meetings when I was in
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: the city, which is something I didn't have access to
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: in Shanghai, and I kind of approached my healing as
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: this like holistic journey because I knew that it was
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: more than just the eating that I needed to focus
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: on if I wanted to sort of heal. I had
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: had issues with addiction to substances and alcohol, and so
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: I was kind of at this point where I wanted
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: to heal from all of it at once, and I
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: was going to therapy. I attended AA meetings. But I
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: found the AA meetings to be really helpful because it
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: was the first time that I felt like I had
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: this community. And even though at the time, I would
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: say the drinking for me was maybe the most under
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: control at that time, I could relate to a lot
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: of what people were talking about and just feeling like
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: they had no control over their lives, that they wanted
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: to grow up, they wanted to be the person in control.
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: So that was really helpful for me, just being in
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: a group therapy setting. And I think for anyone who's
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: maybe going through anything, whether it's you know, just a
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: little bit anxiety or something a little bit more intense,
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: that having a community that can relate to what you're
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: going through is super helpful. Maybe now an online setting
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: would be more appropriate, given you know, the state of
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: the world, but that was something that was really helpful
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: for me. And then also Instagram, because even though I
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: wasn't comfortable with telling any of my friends for some reason,
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: I was super comfortable just like posting to internet strangers.
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: And that's actually a big reason why I'm very comfortable
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: being open about mental health and things like that, because
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: that's kind of how it started. It was sort of
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: like an online diary for me at the time. So
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: if you can find some kind of outlet, I feel
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: like that's really important, and it could be anonymous if
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: you want to, you know, create like a blog where
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: it's just you talking to yourself and like you know,
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: letting it go, or finding maybe like an online pen
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: power or something like that. I just feel like physically
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: expressing it is a really helpful way and like letting
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: things go. So those are some things that were really
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: helpful for me. And then with food specifically, I actually
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: think that cooking was something that really helped me to
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: connect with my food on a physical level. It's like
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: you know, massaging your kale, for example, and like really
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: feeling the food, thinking about where it came from. Having
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: appreciation too for food, because when I was in college
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: it was mostly dining hall food and what money that
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: i'd make on the side from my college job, I
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: wanted to spend on like produce and things like that.
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: I learned to appreciate so much more the value of
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: like good food, and I think that was really helpful. Too,
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: So the physical relationship with food I think is important,
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: having some kind of community if you can, and then
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: also just expressing yourself, not holding things in and just
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: letting it go.
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: Taking a break from today's episode to give some love
• 23:46
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• 23:50
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• 23:53
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  Speaker 2: literally moved from my bed for a total of maybe
• 24:00
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• 24:28
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• 25:22
  Speaker 2: When you went to your first AA meeting, do you
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: remember how old you were? I think I might have.
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: Been in sophomore year. I actually went with a friend
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: who at the time was really struggling and was like,
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: will you come with me to support me? And then
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: I sat through the meeting and realized like, wow, I
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: needed this, you know.
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: Not you me? Yeah, And it's really impressive that you
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: had the mindset and the self awareness to say yes
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: to go with your friend to this meeting. I mean,
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: when I think about the college experience, and there's just
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: so many integral parts to it, from going to the
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: dining hall but also of course going out socializing. So
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: to think to yourself, this is something I need to
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: do for me, and I need to do it now
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: is pretty mature and maybe beyond your years.
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm really grateful that my friend brought me as
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: like the support. And that's another thing too, is a
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: lot of people that are in the meetings are family members.
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: They're not necessarily the addicts, and it's helpful to hear
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: from other people's perspectives to to think about the way
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: that you're affecting your loved ones. So that was definitely
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: very eye opening for me and just having the access
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: to that. I think that's one thing that I'm so
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: grateful for about New York City is that we just
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: have everything here. But you know, I always think it's
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: great to just try everything once. I'm always open to things.
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: So I feel like that was really life changing for me.
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: And whether it's just an unhealthy relationship with kind of
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: anything in life, I think a meetings can be really helpful.
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: So you start to share more and more info with
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: strangers and you get more open in this process. Is
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: there a specific moment or time where you realize exactly
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: what it is that you're doing and how vulnerable you
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: are being with these people that you do not know.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: So what's kind of funny is I actually grew up
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: with Tumblr. I don't know if you ever had Tumblr
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: when you were younger.
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: Of course I had a live journal.
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: Right, so I was on Tumblr and that was like
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: my first anonymous like thing where I would like, very
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: openly talk about my feelings. And that was kind of
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: when I was going through it. But when I was healing,
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, let's do Instagram. It's a visual
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: I can share my meals. And I really didn't tell
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: anyone about it until I connected it to my Facebook,
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: not realizing what that meant, and I followed like all
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: my friends and I was like, Okay, this sucks. But
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: it was great practice because the way that I was
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: so open on Instagram, I wanted to be the same
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: level of open and with people I knew in real life.
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: And obviously that took a lot of practice, but in
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: a way it held me accountable because you know, I
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: couldn't be talking about my recovery and then deny it
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: in real life. So I found that it was a
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: really good stepping stone also to just communicating with my
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: parents about it, because a lot of the issues that
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: I had with substances and alcohol, they had no idea
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: about until I'd already recovered, so I actually felt it
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: to be really good practice. It's definitely scary, but the
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: worst thing that could happen is that you connect your
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: Facebook and everyone finds out. If you do it the
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: right way and you're smart about it, I'm like I was,
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: you can stay anonymous, and it's just a really great
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: expressive outlet.
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure, especially when you're younger. I mean, I
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: journaled about everything and everything on my blog, so tell
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: me then, what were you writing about it? First?
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: So it was only food. There were no pictures of
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: me because it was posted be anonymous at first, so
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: there were just kind of like bowls of food meals,
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: and it would be multiple posts to day because I
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: really was kind of logging everything that I was eating
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: to my one follower, which was my therapist at the time,
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: and it was purely food until stories came out, and
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: I think that's when I started experimenting with like posting
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: a picture of myself. And after people had found out
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: that I had the Instagram, I was like, well, it's
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: not a secret anymore, so why don't I just post
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: pictures of myself as well? And I think that's kind
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: of what added in the human element to it. It
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: did get a little more scary, of course, to share
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: as deeply as I would before and now that there
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: was like a face to all the content. But I
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: think that's kind of what bridged the offline and online vulnerabilities,
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: like being able to translate that into real life too.
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: As someone who also has a following, I can totally relate,
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: although it's nowhere near the size of yours, but just
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: this concept that you are now sharing things with so
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: many individuals, and at times it can feel really comfortable
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: and really normal. But at other moments, when you're going
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: through stuff in your personal life, you are dealing with
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: things that you might not be talking about openly on
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: your forum. I'd love to hear what you think. But
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: for me, in those times, I really look to retreat
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: and pull back a little bit, kind of in a
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: way to protect myself.
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely. I for a while, I think I kind
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: of started to wonder whether my value was in my
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: healing for a while, Like I kind of felt like,
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: if I'm not posting about my healing or if I'm
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: actually having a good day, is anyone actually interested in that?
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: You know what? I mean, because it's kind of like,
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: not the drama of it, but it's it's almost like
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: a story. I think that people were following because I
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: would be pretty detailed in talking about my day to day,
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: my morning to evening, how I was feeling, and things
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: like that. And for a while, I was thinking to myself, like,
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: if I pull back even a little bit and stop
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: sharing about, you know, how things are going, are people
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: still going to feel engaged and connect to what I'm saying?
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: Will people only value it if I'm like talking about
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: the struggle? And this is something that I've had kind
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: of a back and forth with on the topic of
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: mental health because I don't really want to make every
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: single post about mental health, and I would notice that
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: certain posts people would really feel moved by and connect
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: to more like the deeper it is, almost, but it
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: didn't feel authentic to me to get so deep into
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: every photo, you know. At the same time, I'm not
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: the type of person to just post an emoji to
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: caption and call it a day, but sometimes I do
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: want to share something a little bit more light and easier.
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: Maybe I just like the way a photo looks, so
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: over the years, I have had to kind of find
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: a balance between that, because yeah, at a certain point,
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: it's like, Okay, I'm not a writer, but I do
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: feel like I'm kind of digging sometimes to look for
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: something that I can share it and that it's like
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: deep and emotional and relatable. But I think now I'm
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: in a good place where, you know, I'm comfortable sharing
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: the food every now and then, if I'm having a
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: bad day or feel call to share something that's a
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: little deeper or talk about mental health, I'll do it.
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: But I also don't feel like that is what my
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: worth is on social media, which is kind of a
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: weird thing to say, but I definitely felt that way
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: for a while.
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: I don't think it's weird. I can definitely relate to that.
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: And when you say talk about your mental health in
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: your posts, what really were you getting into specifically, So, in.
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: The last couple of years, I started talking more about
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: my sobriety, which is not something that I talked about
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: initially because it was mainly focused on the food and
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: the eating. But back in the day would be definitely
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: very explicit, you know, talking about sort of disordered thought patterns,
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: disordered behavior, any kind of relapses or just fall back
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: into like bad eating patterns, for example, Whereas now with
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: a larger audience, I'm definitely also more conscious that, like,
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: there are certain things I can't share, as I guess,
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: in such a raw way because it can be very
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: triggering for people as well. So that's also like a
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: filter that I have to keep in mind. But when
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: it comes to like alcohol and substance abuse, that's something
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: that I shared a couple of years ago for the
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: first time, and I just kind of did a whole
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: blog post series about it because I thought to myself,
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: you know, this is a good way to separate it
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: a little bit and if you're interested, you can go
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: read and if not, you know, ignore it kind of thing.
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: So I put that on the website and it ended
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: up being like ten blog posts, I think, where I
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: just really went into a little bit about my story
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: in general, and then also tips that I had for
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: people who maybe wanted to deal with the social anxiety
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: of being sober, for example, or what can I drink
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: during the holidays that isn't alcoholic. So I ended up
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: being a great, you know, way to kind of create
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: content in a different light. But at the same time,
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't say that I share, you know, like the
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: nitty gritty as much. I do know that some people
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: will ask me those things, and I just kind of
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: feel like that's not a detail that's important to where
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: I am now, or I just feel like it's not
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: relevant to share, or it's not a good thing to
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: share online. That's more of like sort of the drama
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: and the story, you know what I mean. So I
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: have a filter up now, but I also am pretty
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: open about it, like it's not how do you say, Like,
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: it's not like censored, but it's also not going to
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: tell you like, you know, the minute gory details.
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: You mentioned the word relapse, And oftentimes I think that
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: on social media, these quote unquote failures are things that
• 33:55
  Speaker 2: individuals may not want to talk about because they don't
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: want to admit perhaps when something hasn't gone swimmingly or
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: perfectly or what have you. So I'm curious if you
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: are willing to share any specifics about a time during
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: this struggle that really stuck out to you as extra challenging.
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, actually was when I first started doing this full time.
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: So I had my corporate job and had been about
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: three months of working there, and it was right before Christmas.
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: So when I took my kind of vacation for the winter,
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: I actually decided to go to Thailand to see my
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: parents for Christmas. And around that time, I was really
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: kind of at my end. And I think it's really
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: just sleep when my bases aren't covered in terms of
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: like sleep nutrition, you know. If I don't have like
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: those things taken care of, I feel like I'm a
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: lot more vulnerable to bad behavior and like relapse and
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: things like that. It's really just like the mind body connection.
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: So there was a point in time where I kind
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: of felt like I'm at my end. I'm not sleeping
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: enough because of this job, and I just can't keep
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: it up anymore. I'm on the verge of relapse. And
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: I knew that, and I didn't really share it at
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: the time because I didn't know what was gonna happen.
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: I was like, maybe I should just stop posting as
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: much in case this really goes south and I am
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: not the person who I'm appearing to be on social
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: media at this like wellness person, you know. And I
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: decided to fly back to Thailand, and then when I
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: came back, I quit my job. I went to rehab
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: again and I really just focused on my healing and
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: I had no intention of doing this full time actually,
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: but it happened because I had the time, and I
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: think because it was the mode of expression that I
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: was most used to when going through something. So eventually
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: I kind of shared that that was a really hard
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: time for me, during which I really felt like I
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: was going to relapse and I did definitely feel like
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: I was a little bit of a failure. And I
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: think it was harder too because it was such a
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: huge change in my life from like having a job
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: to not knowing whether I could actually do this full time.
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: I had no plan at all, but that was a
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: really powerful moment for me because of course, as a result,
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: I now do this full time. So I try to
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: look at every sort of low moment as an opportunity
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: for growth. I don't know, if let's say, something were
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: to happen like during COVID times, which it definitely did,
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: Like I had a moment where I was like, jeezu,
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: this is terrible, Like I feel like I'm on the
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: brink of depression. I kind of just want to drink
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: and I was like, I don't feel like that's something
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: that's helpful to share online right now for anybody whose
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: I'm sure we're all on the same boat, right so
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: I always kind of try to engage whether or not
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: what I'm going to share is going to be helpful
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: for anyone, or whether it's just like entertainment and like
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: the drama. I just I'm always really careful about that
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: because I do think it's important to be intentional about
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: what you're sharing.
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: It's interesting what you said about wanting to make sure
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: that the content that you are sharing is authentic to
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: who it is that you are, and you don't want
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: to be presenting yourself as this wellness guru when that's
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: not exactly how you are feeling today. Do you feel
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: as though what you are putting out into the universe
• 36:52
  Speaker 2: is very true to your values and who you are.
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I definitely think so. In a way, I think
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: I'm even more on online sometimes than in real life,
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: which is kind of funny. But now that you know
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: my friends know about it, it's like hard to hide
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: from them. I think it really forces me to be
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: more open with them too, And I really like that
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: about social media. I just don't know what it is
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: about talking to my phone, but for some reason, it's
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: so easy for me, whereas like sometimes when I'm sitting
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: across from someone, I just have no words. But I
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: think that is important, and authenticity in itself is something
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: that is a weird concept nowadays, right, I feel like
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: there's this urgency for everyone to be authentic online, but like,
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: what does that even really mean? You know, it's like,
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: does it mean that you're digging for these like relatable
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: moments to share or does it mean that you show
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: up online how you would in real life. It's kind
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: of a it's a weird subject. Like I don't really
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: know what authenticity means anymore online, but I just try
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: to make sure that whatever it is I'm sharing online
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: I would share with like my family and my closest friends,
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: or the way that I'm showing up online is the
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: way that I show up for them in real life too.
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: Have you? I'm interested to hear about this from you.
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: Ever put something that you know is raw and real
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: online and it scares you a little bit, but you
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: keep it there because you know it has the potential
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: to help a lot of people. And then that you
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: get into the aftermath, which is having conversations about what
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: it is that you shared with your real friends, your
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: real family. Yeah, it can be a little bit sticky, right.
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: Yes, Oh my gosh, it's the scariest thing.
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: Give me a while, you know.
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: Well, so my grandparents, for example, wouldn't really read my blog.
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: It wasn't until you know, I guess they consider it
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: to be something a little bit more legitimate and realize
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: that it's my job that they would start reading it.
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: And then I kind of had this fear. I was like,
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: oh my god, I was not filtering myself to a
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: point where like I'd be comfortable with my grandparents reading this,
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: you know, and even my parents, Like when I first
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: started sharing about sobriety online, I had to have a
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: conversation with them because I was like, well, look, guys,
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: I just posted this on the internet, so I want
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: you to hear from me first. It was kind of
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: one of those moments, but it was good. It was
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: like you just kind of kick the bucket from underneath me,
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: and you just got to do it, and you've got
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: to be true. Of course, I don't think my parents
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: my grandparents read everything that I'm sharing, but I always
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: have those moments where I'm thinking, to myself, is this
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: a little bit too much for my family to read.
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: Totally, totally, and I mean an example for me on
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: my side. I went to vote the other day and
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: just I waited in line for six hours. It was
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: a really emotional experience. I came back and I shared
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: this on my Instagram. And I know that there are
• 39:29
  Speaker 2: people that I am friendly with. There are family members
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: and so many others who may not see eye to
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: eye with me on political issues and so many other things.
• 39:42
  Speaker 2: Yet what is really special is to be able to
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: have a mutual respect and understanding about what it is
• 39:52
  Speaker 2: that I do, and that everyone can be entitled to
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: their own opinion and we can coexist regardless.
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: I like that, like a mutual respect. I think at
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: the end of the day, you know, we're all human,
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: and a lot of the things that I subscribe to
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: I don't think most people would like. I don't often
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: meet people who are vegan and sober and you know,
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: practice yoga and have a history of mental illness. But
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: I know that when I meet someone, they're very open
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: to it. And that's all that matters to me. As
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: long as you're open to it and open minded and accepting,
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: like we can be friends, you know, so I think
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: that is definitely so important, just that mutual respect which
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: sometimes people don't have online necessarily, but I find it
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: so key.
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: When did your blog and your social media presence really
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: start to catch fire.
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: I want to say it was a couple years into
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: the food blogging because at the time, veganism wasn't all
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: that popular, and it also was still considered a little
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: bit weird and out there. So the resources for recipes
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: were also pretty limited, and especially like Asian recipes, I
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: feel like we're harder to find. It was a lot
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: more Western, and you know, there is this notion sometimes
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: that veganism is for white people. That's something that people
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: say all the time, or they have this belief that
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: it's for white people exclusively. Oh it's like, you know,
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: it's this upper middle class thing, it's this and that.
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: So I found that it was really helpful to be
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: able to connect with people from all kinds of backgrounds
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: who just happened to be vegan online. And it was
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: around that time, so it must have been maybe like
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: five six years ago that started to kind of become
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: a little bit more acceptable maybe, and that's when it
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: started to take off. And whether it was someone else
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: who was actually vegan already, or someone who was just
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: curious about how to make a specific vegan recipe. I
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: felt like there was this open mindedness to it, and
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: that's when things really started to grow.
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: Is there anything specific that happens that signals to you
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: that this is just taking off?
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: I think in my head I always kind of would
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: downplay the number of followers, and it's not something that
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: I focused on, but I would think to myself, you know, oh,
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: thirty k would be incredible to hit, and once I did,
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: I'd be like, it's actually like not that many people
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: in theory, right. It was just comparison knowing that like
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: real influencers had like millions of followers.
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: But then crazy, like someone said to me the other day,
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: we were sitting down having a beer, and he said,
• 42:15
  Speaker 2: you have enough followers to fill Madison Square garden exactly.
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's exactly what it was for me. Actually, because
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: my mom told me, like, picture the number of people
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: that follow you in a room, you would have insane
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: social anxiety. I was like, oh my god, you're right,
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: and here I am just like talking to my phone
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: every day. But that was definitely what it was for me,
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: just realizing, like, my god, that is so many people.
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: But I think the most important thing were like the
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: people who would message me. Every now and then I'll
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: get a really nice message from someone that's like, hey,
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: you really helped me. You know, eat plant based and
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: I made this for my family and we all loved
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: it and we hate vegan food for example, or something like,
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: you know, thank you for sharing your story about sobriety.
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: It's really helped me with X, Y and Z. And
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: I'm sure you have those messages too, Like those are
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: the one that I save and want to like print
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: out and tape on my wall when I'm having a
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: shitty day. You know, it's like this is why I
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: do what I do and why I love it so much. So, yeah,
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: you mentioned.
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: That you do this as your full time job. Right now,
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: I'd love if you could kind of explain exactly what
• 43:18
  Speaker 2: that means, how you are monetizing your blog and your
• 43:22
  Speaker 2: social presence so that you can live this way, because
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: I think that's certainly something that can be a little
• 43:28
  Speaker 2: bit confusing, if you know what I mean.
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, it is a little bit of a weird thing.
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: Still to this day, I think and in a lot
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: of ways the industry is like the wild West because
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: we're still trying to figure out regulations and what everything means.
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: But the way that I break it down, I guess
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: there are a few different things that I do. I
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: used to say I was like a full time freelancer
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: because I had all these different facets of what I
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: do that would make up what it is to be
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: my job. So the first thing was like the food
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: and the recipes, and the main thing, I guess would
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: be my actual blog, which is monetized with ads. So
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: the recipes and all the content are free, but it's
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: kind of like an ad space for other people to advertise.
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: So that is one way that if you are a
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: food blogger you can monetize, or actually with any kind
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: of website really, you can monetize by offering ad space.
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: That's something that I had a little bit of issue
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: with in the beginning because I was like, I just
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: feel bad doing this and monetizing, But you know, at
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: the same time, girls got to eat, and you know,
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: I've got to make a living, so I was like,
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: all right, We're going to do this. Then it's Sponsorships
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: are a big part of what I do on social media,
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: and with food, it, oh, it's feels very organic because
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: a lot of it is like, hey, we have this product,
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: can you turn this into a recipe or show people
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: how to incorporate this into a meal. And almost all
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: the time it's something that I already use or I'm
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: familiar with, so it doesn't ever feel like I'm preaching
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: or that I'm promoting something that I would never use
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: or buy myself. And of course that's something that I've
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: learned more as I've own to be a little bit
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: more of a seasoned blogger to just really make sure
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: that what you're sharing is something that is organic to you.
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: All the food puns, but that is another thing. Partnerships
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: and then YouTube content that's something I do as well.
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: So YouTube you can make money through like ad sense
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: and just like posting your own videos, which is really
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: nice because you own your own content, and you know
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: that's not something you can often do and sustain without
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: the ad sponsorships for example. So those are a few
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: ways that I do that. And then kind of on
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: the back end, and this is something that I've scaled
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: back a little bit just because I've been finding it
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: hard to balance doing behind the scenes work and stuff
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: for my own personal brand, but in the beginning, I
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: actually would do a lot of food photography for other brands.
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: So back when I had maybe like two thousand or
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: so followers, I had a brand reach out to me
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: and ask if I could create some content for them.
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: This was when I was in college, I think, so
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: it was pretty new to me and I was like, Oh,
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: my god, you want to pay me to like take
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: a picture of food. I was so excited. And I
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: happen to have a pretty good camera because I had
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: studied photography a little bit, and that is kind of
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: like the behind the scenes stuff that I do. So
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: every now and again, I'll do some content creation for
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: a brand that doesn't go on my feed but goes
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: on their feed. And I think there are a lot
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: of ways that you can basically monetize your expertise as
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: you grow as a blogger, so you can start sharing
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: your knowledge, you can start creating your own products. But yeah,
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: that's kind of what I do now, and so far
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: it's been great. I actually make more money now than
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: I did at my corporate job. But I'm also not
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: somebody who's not open to the idea of going back
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: to work. Like, it was never a thing where I
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: was like, I never want to work for someone again.
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: I only want to work for myself. It was more
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: just let's see where this goes, and if I have
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: to get a job again, I'm open to it as
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: long as I find something that fulfills me and that
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: I enjoy and that I can you know, maintain, like
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: my mental health.
• 46:53
  Speaker 2: In you mentioned a lot of different hats that you're
• 46:56
  Speaker 2: wearing when it comes to creating your content. Are you
• 46:59
  Speaker 2: out sourcing anything like any of the editing or what
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: have you, or is this one woman job right now?
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: It's all in house, which is why I kind of
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: scaled back on doing things for other people. But yeah,
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: it's something that I always feel like I should look into.
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: It's I think it's a control thing. I need to
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: let go a little bit and trust someone else with
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: the vision too, which I think is the hardest thing
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: when you're growing something. But I would like to do
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: that eventually when I find the right person. And you know,
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: sometimes my family's involved, like my sister will often be
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: my photographer or my boyfriend unfortunately for him, so it's
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: I get help from friends, But for the most part,
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: it's like a one woman team.
• 47:40
  Speaker 2: So this is me and Remy both putting out an
• 47:44
  Speaker 2: intern advertisement. We are both seeking a little bit of help.
• 47:51
  Speaker 2: So if anyone knows anyone that could be the right fit,
• 47:55
  Speaker 2: hit us on social. But I don't I totally feel you.
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: I mean, it's something that I think as creators, we
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: want to take a lot of ownership over what it
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: is that we are making, but at some point or another,
• 48:09
  Speaker 2: there's got to be room to ask for help. I know.
• 48:13
  Speaker 2: It's something that I I'm definitely definitely working on it.
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, I think we'll eventually have to kind of
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: let go a little bit when we scale, which is
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: something that my boyfriend tells me all the time, and
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I know, I know, but I'm thinking back
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: to like pre COVID times and it's crazy to think
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: about how many events that we go to in a
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: night too. I mean, that's how we met at like
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: a blogger event or a PR event, and I just
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: I cannot imagine doing that now, Like I don't know how.
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: I used to do so much, you know, Oh definitely,
• 48:44
  Speaker 2: And I would say that because we are not going
• 48:47
  Speaker 2: from one event for fifteen minutes to another event for
• 48:50
  Speaker 2: fifteen minutes and doing all of the New York things.
• 48:52
  Speaker 2: That's why the output that's happening, the things that we're
• 48:56
  Speaker 2: able to create on a more frequent basis, that's why
• 48:59
  Speaker 2: all of that is really going on.
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely, it's a lot more time to focus on
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: your own thing versus like you know, taking the subway
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: downtown and then running back and all of that in between.
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And also I wanted to touch on this and
• 49:12
  Speaker 2: you just brought it up again. Your boyfriend, you are
• 49:15
  Speaker 2: in a long distance relationship. How is that going? Especially?
• 49:20
  Speaker 2: I know you've been to Amsterdam I think once now
• 49:23
  Speaker 2: and you're about to be going back again very soon.
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah. So we met in high school, so we've been
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: together for almost I think it's nine years this year,
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: so it's been a long time, and he's really grown
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: with me through everything, which I think is part of
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: what makes our relationship so strong. But I got so lucky,
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: Like there are some friends that I have who are
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: in long distance relationships now that have not been able
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: to reunite yet because basically the only way that I
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: was able to go was because the Netherlands happened to
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: open up this long distance exception where you had to
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: be in a relationship for longer than three months and
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: have proof of that to be able to then visit
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: even though technically nobody from the USA is allowed to
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: visit Europe. I just it's so random because it's I
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: think it's only Denmark and Amsterdam. A couple of other
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: countries have opened that up now too, but at the time,
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: it was really difficult. And the way that I found
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: out was actually somebody's comment on Instagram when I was
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: talking about how long it had been since I see
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: my boyfriend, and I was like, no way, and I
• 50:20
  Speaker 1: had this like very emotional moment. I think I was
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: crying tears of joy, and you know, I was like,
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: oh my God, frantically looking for plane tickets. And there
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: are some really helpful support groups. It's just like a
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: random note, but if anyone's in that situation, there are
• 50:32
  Speaker 1: some really great online resources. Somebody created this website I
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: think it's called like Love Is Not Tourism or something
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: like that, where they compile all the resources of like
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: different government regulations to tell people basically what the update is.
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: So let's say you're living in like Greece or like Spain,
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: and you're trying to figure out like seeing your partner
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: somewhere else like they'll most likely have the most up
• 50:55
  Speaker 1: to date information. So thanks to the Internet and social media,
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: I ended up being able to visit my friend. But
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: it's been pretty crazy. I really leaned on family a lot.
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: I definitely used busy work as a coping mechanism for
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: a long time, which I tried to stop doing as much.
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: But sometimes when you live completely alone and you're not
• 51:13
  Speaker 1: even with a partner, it's hard to check yourself too.
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: So I'm just really glad that now I have a
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: little bit more balanced in my COVID life.
• 51:21
  Speaker 2: Wow, that is such an insane thing. I'm just trying
• 51:24
  Speaker 2: to think about whatever the lawmaker was going through.
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: Created clearly in a long distance relationship, right.
• 51:34
  Speaker 2: Clearly and obviously now super difficult. But you have been
• 51:38
  Speaker 2: in a long distance relationship for a minute now, So
• 51:41
  Speaker 2: tell me then, what are some of your pieces of
• 51:44
  Speaker 2: advice for anyone else who may be going through the
• 51:47
  Speaker 2: same thing.
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: So I think that what's really important is to remember
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: that you have these incredible people in your lives. I
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: was feeling really bad because I have separated from my
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: family in Asia, who I won't even be seeing probably
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: for another six months or who knows how long, and
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: my boyfriend and I felt very isolated, but I did
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: take comfort in knowing that I had like these amazing
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: people to miss, And you know, I will say I've
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: had a lot of practice with long distance because it's
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: been so long that we've been doing this. So I
• 52:18
  Speaker 1: leaned in a lot on the things that I would
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: typically do to kind of cope with that, and that
• 52:21
  Speaker 1: is like working on new things, new hobbies, developing a skill.
• 52:26
  Speaker 1: I would kind of do these like mini challenges for myself, like,
• 52:28
  Speaker 1: all right, thirty days of flexibility. I want to see
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: how flexible I can get in thirty days. Like little
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: things like that would really help me get along. And
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: I would plan dates, whether it be like a FaceTime
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: date or like a walk in the park with a
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: friend that I was able to see. I would always
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: plan things to look forward to, no matter how big
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: or small. So that's kind of how I would cope
• 52:46
  Speaker 1: in the beginning. And that's something I would definitely recommend
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: is to focus on you. And I know that's like
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: so hard to do when that's all you can do.
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: It's like nothing in your apartment you're just alone with yourself.
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: But if you can focus on you and growing you,
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: like hobbies, skills, personal growth. You know, therapy is also
• 53:07
  Speaker 1: really key. I find for myself personally, phone calls are
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: really important FaceTime and if you do have access to family,
• 53:15
  Speaker 1: to definitely lean on them. I know that a lot
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: of my friends were expressing that it's like the craziest
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: time to be stuck in a house with family, but
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: to just enjoy that craziness while you can, because I
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: do think at the end of the day, your family's
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: always there for you, and it's so nice to be
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: able to see them. I really learned that that was
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: a privilege this year.
• 53:33
  Speaker 2: I also love what you're talking about when it comes
• 53:36
  Speaker 2: to smartly spending time by yourself. Like it's one thing
• 53:40
  Speaker 2: if you're going to be hanging out on the couch
• 53:42
  Speaker 2: watching twelve hours of Netflix, but it's another thing if
• 53:49
  Speaker 2: you're making real plans with yourself to commit to an
• 53:52
  Speaker 2: hour working on learning Italian, or forty minutes reading this book,
• 53:57
  Speaker 2: or I'm going to journal for twenty minutes. Like there's
• 53:59
  Speaker 2: so much that you can do and take advantage of
• 54:02
  Speaker 2: in your time alone, and it doesn't always need to
• 54:06
  Speaker 2: be not to say that it can't be good to
• 54:08
  Speaker 2: have some mindless time, but it's you know, you can
• 54:10
  Speaker 2: look forward to doing things by yourself if you execute
• 54:14
  Speaker 2: in the right way. So I just love that you
• 54:16
  Speaker 2: were giving really concrete examples of what it is that
• 54:20
  Speaker 2: you were doing, not just of course cooking, eating and
• 54:24
  Speaker 2: that stuff, but so much other good things.
• 54:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's funny to think about quarantine and sort of
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: like the trend phases, but it really does show like
• 54:32
  Speaker 1: an example of things that make people feel better because
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: I think it's very hands on. Like first it was
• 54:37
  Speaker 1: the banana bread and like the sour dough, right, and
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: then it was like puzzles, and then it was like
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: all these Netflix shows, and I think they're all important,
• 54:44
  Speaker 1: like find the balance. You don't want to use it
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: as a way to like distract yourself from what's going on,
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: but rather just like plan things to look forward to
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: and like make things to get excited about.
• 54:54
  Speaker 2: I guess yeah, And so, aside from your pending trip
• 54:59
  Speaker 2: to Amsterday, what else excites you right now?
• 55:04
  Speaker 1: What excites me? Let's see, that's a great question. I
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: think what excites me is knowing that I'm a much
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: more flexible person now and just kind of continuing to
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: challenge myself knowing that I can't do things one hundred
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: percent the way that I want to right now. I
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: think it's been a really good personal challenge for me.
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: I've had a lot of plans be canceled or just
• 55:34
  Speaker 1: like not feasible this year, and in those moments, I've
• 55:37
  Speaker 1: really tried to focus on turning those into opportunistic moments
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: instead or just like simply sitting with it and being
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: like okay with it and slowing down. And I'm excited
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: that I've been getting more sleep because that was a
• 55:49
  Speaker 1: huge goal of mine throughout quarantine. I kind of wanted
• 55:52
  Speaker 1: to take it as an opportunity to make sure I
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: was getting at least eight hours of sleep every night.
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: So I've been working on that a lot. And little
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: things like that are really to me, and they're not
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: like huge things, but I think that's important too. Is
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: like romanticize little things a little bit. Is how I'm
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: getting through.
• 56:08
  Speaker 2: I love that tidbit. I'd also love to know, when
• 56:12
  Speaker 2: you think about the last few years being your own boss,
• 56:16
  Speaker 2: what has been some of the best advice that you
• 56:19
  Speaker 2: have been offered.
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: Ooh, So, I think what's important to know is that
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: it's going to be more challenging than a corporate job
• 56:28
  Speaker 1: would be. And I do think that there's a little
• 56:32
  Speaker 1: bit of this idea that it's very glamorous to be
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: an entrepreneur. But to be an entrepreneur doesn't only mean
• 56:38
  Speaker 1: you know, to work for yourself, choose your hours and
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: be flexible and go to like a midday workout class,
• 56:43
  Speaker 1: but it also means sometimes you're struggling and you don't
• 56:46
  Speaker 1: know whether you can pay your rent, or you don't
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: know where the money's coming from. You have to be
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: okay with uncertainty. And of course, you know, this year
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: I think was a lot of uncertainty for a lot
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: of people, even with very sure jobs or what we
• 56:58
  Speaker 1: thought would be very sure jobs. And so I do
• 57:01
  Speaker 1: feel like I was prepared for that because I do
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: always keep in the back of my mind that with
• 57:06
  Speaker 1: this kind of lifestyle comes a certain level of uncertainty
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: at all times. You would have to be ready for something. So, yeah,
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: just be comfortable with being uncomfortable. I guess if that's
• 57:16
  Speaker 1: something that you want to do, or be open to
• 57:20
  Speaker 1: going back to work or trying something new if your
• 57:23
  Speaker 1: initial plan doesn't work out. I think that is really important.
• 57:26
  Speaker 2: If you had an opportunity to leave one last thing
• 57:29
  Speaker 2: on Instagram, one last little blurb, what would you want
• 57:34
  Speaker 2: to leave your audience with? Oh my gosh, so last however, ever, ever, ever,
• 57:42
  Speaker 2: last post. All right, this is your legacy, Remy.
• 57:47
  Speaker 1: I think I would say, put your phone down and
• 57:52
  Speaker 1: go outside. As maybe hypocritical as it is, I think
• 57:57
  Speaker 1: there's so much more to life than Instagram and social
• 57:59
  Speaker 1: media that people don't realize. Like I've spent more time
• 58:03
  Speaker 1: than ever lately on my phone and scrolling, but I
• 58:05
  Speaker 1: always try to keep myself in check and remember that
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: I can live without a phone, I can live without
• 58:10
  Speaker 1: social media. So yeah, I would say, put down the phone,
• 58:14
  Speaker 1: go outside for a little bit. Your phone will always
• 58:16
  Speaker 1: be there.
• 58:17
  Speaker 2: For when you come back. All right, last question. You
• 58:21
  Speaker 2: have an opportunity right now to offer the REMI a
• 58:24
  Speaker 2: piece of advice, perhaps right when she's getting back to
• 58:27
  Speaker 2: New York going to college, knowing that she needs to
• 58:29
  Speaker 2: make a big change. At that hurtle moment, you have
• 58:32
  Speaker 2: an opportunity to offer her one piece of advice. What
• 58:36
  Speaker 2: do you tell her?
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: I think I would tell myself to lean into the softness.
• 58:46
  Speaker 1: I think I'm a very emotional person, but I also
• 58:49
  Speaker 1: have this shell and this sort of desire to be
• 58:52
  Speaker 1: very strong, get through everything, and very much a type
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: a personality. But I find that sometimes that is a
• 58:59
  Speaker 1: bare you're to my own healing, and sometimes you just
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: have to sit with the softness and the emotion and
• 59:05
  Speaker 1: the feeling and just to be open to it, to
• 59:07
  Speaker 1: be receptive and know that feeling is part of feeling.
• 59:11
  Speaker 2: Feeling is part of healing. I love that. Thank you
• 59:14
  Speaker 2: so so much for your time today. I can't tell
• 59:17
  Speaker 2: you how much I really appreciate it and your honesty
• 59:21
  Speaker 2: and your openness.
• 59:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you so much for having me on. It's
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: been so fun and I love chatting. So I have
• 59:28
  Speaker 1: questions for you off the air.
• 59:29
  Speaker 2: Now, girl, I am all ears. Please take a moment
• 59:35
  Speaker 2: leave a quick review by clicking the link with the
• 59:36
  Speaker 2: description to this episode. We all face multiple hurdles in life.
• 59:40
  Speaker 2: I want to hear about yours. Reach out to me
• 59:41
  Speaker 2: at Emily at Hurdle dot us, connect with the pod Instagram,
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• 59:48
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• 59:52
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• 59:55
  Speaker 1: You can find me on Instagram and most social media
• 59:57
  Speaker 1: platforms at veggie Cans and then on my website all
• 1:00:01
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• 1:00:03
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• 1:00:07
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  Speaker 2: Hurdle Podcast, Another Hurdle conquered. Catch you guys next time