Latest / The Bald Brothers Podcast / 43: Woman Goes Viral for Buying a 98' Ford Escort | #isawthisontheinternet

Transcript

43: Woman Goes Viral for Buying a 98' Ford Escort | #isawthisontheinternet · The Bald Brothers Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: To the White Man's College because I wouldn't open with
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: my mind yet, my third hour yet. But if Melissa
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: would have went to any school in the United States,
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: I would have went there.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: She would have went to Haveton.
• 0:12
  Speaker 3: I was like you, so she went to spell When you.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: What you'all mean, weekend, This discrimination is what it is.
• 0:22
  Speaker 3: I would have had a wig for the full four years.
• 0:30
  Speaker 4: You study for your.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: Chur would have been right there at Clark or more
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: House if she went to Spellman. But that the majority
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: of the choice was like, it wasn't even a thought
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: really because everybody in my class was going to U there.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: It wasn't like and honestly, the counselors in Washington were
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: not like, as a black student, you have options at HBCUs.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: I don't think my counselor even knew what an HBCU
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: was because they don't come past the.
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: Texas really, Like there's no Passo. There was none. Yeah,
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: you know, yeah.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: Gets past.
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: I can name five worst cities than our pass. Bakersfield
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: is the number one worst.
• 1:18
  Speaker 5: You know, it's got to be big. Bakers was not big,
• 1:21
  Speaker 5: not like El Paso pass big.
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: What's big?
• 1:25
  Speaker 6: How big is our passa.
• 1:26
  Speaker 5: Pas minimum five hundred thousand people.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: It's got a lot of military.
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: Bakersfield is small, that doesn't why is the what is
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: the big because it's a lot of shitty small cities,
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: but it pass a big.
• 1:38
  Speaker 6: City seventy eight big Portland, more recognitions down in the west.
• 1:46
  Speaker 6: Text very passa very.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: In the border of Mexico and New Mexico, like literally
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: over there you can see Mexico, you.
• 1:55
  Speaker 5: Can see water is from ill Pass.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: Why is it closer to your castle?
• 1:59
  Speaker 6: Is bigger than Portland?
• 2:00
  Speaker 7: Yeah, that's crazy, that's just how it is.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: Not the way big?
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: What what makes it whack it has because it's huge,
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: but what does it what is?
• 2:12
  Speaker 5: It doesn't have any everything we used to go all
• 2:16
  Speaker 5: the time.
• 2:16
  Speaker 6: Character No, No, it's ol Pasta was bigger than Boston. That's crazy.
• 2:22
  Speaker 7: That lets you know this city has to be awful
• 2:27
  Speaker 7: city to be that big.
• 2:29
  Speaker 6: And no topic. They didn't even have like a salsa
• 2:31
  Speaker 6: after him. No, there's no.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: There's the Hispanic culture.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: There's so many Hispanic cultures rich in Mexico for years.
• 2:43
  Speaker 6: He's a New New Mexican, doesn't.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: It's way too big to not have a professional sports
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: like a major one.
• 2:52
  Speaker 5: No protein, No personality.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: What's the personality?
• 2:56
  Speaker 6: No character, Yeah, personality sounds like a minor league baseball
• 3:03
  Speaker 6: town is.
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: We got a three gamer in El Passo this weekend.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: Past is the first you come to five black starters
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: and an NT double a team and they won and
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: they had a movie.
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: How's that for character?
• 3:18
  Speaker 5: That's great?
• 3:18
  Speaker 6: Yeah, it's still yeah did it?
• 3:22
  Speaker 5: It was a glory road.
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: Glory road.
• 3:24
  Speaker 5: Nobody saw the move.
• 3:25
  Speaker 6: I love glorid road.
• 3:27
  Speaker 7: Sounds like a town you go to on a bush.
• 3:32
  Speaker 5: Get out the greyhound and council and get some work.
• 3:35
  Speaker 7: You you have the big you don't fly tol past.
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: Minute the math.
• 3:44
  Speaker 5: You know, we can see Mexico from there. That's the appeal.
• 3:47
  Speaker 5: You can see Mexico from here. That's all they going.
• 3:51
  Speaker 5: That's it.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: You got the university UTIP, Yeah, you have. Pasto is
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: really big though, because of the military base.
• 3:58
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's a military fort.
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: Bliss is military.
• 4:02
  Speaker 6: Lot of military towns out there.
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: A lot of military town Yeah, except for San Diego.
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: San Diego is probably the best military.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: Is the city that you don't feel like the military
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: should be there.
• 4:21
  Speaker 4: Ye, water all of the branches.
• 4:27
  Speaker 7: San Diego is a city that the military has a
• 4:30
  Speaker 7: higher time being serious and it's a little too nice.
• 4:33
  Speaker 7: You need the military town. You need to send them
• 4:38
  Speaker 7: out to Edwards where they can't be happy. They can
• 4:42
  Speaker 7: take their job seriously.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: Chris, what's the name Chris? The guy who's a Guardian Galaxy.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: He has a military show based in San Diego.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: What's his name?
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: Chris?
• 4:51
  Speaker 6: Chris Pratt.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: Chris Pratt? He has the terminal list? Wait?
• 4:54
  Speaker 4: Was he?
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah? He is fantastic?
• 4:58
  Speaker 5: Is that?
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: Oh? My god? Time?
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: But he is based in San Diego and it's just
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: like how you keep the people the military gets you
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: in those towns. Was like, I'm not even gonna leave
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: the base.
• 5:07
  Speaker 6: Yeah, but they trained the seals down there, just.
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: Like man, every time I go down to San Diego,
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: I'd be seeing the big helicopters and stuff they got.
• 5:19
  Speaker 6: We're safe.
• 5:20
  Speaker 5: But what's the five cities worse?
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: I wasn't going based on giving me small bakers Bakersfield.
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: Bakersfield is trash.
• 5:30
  Speaker 6: What about like what about like an Indie?
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: What do you think about Indianapolis?
• 5:34
  Speaker 6: I hate that, Yeah, Indies.
• 5:37
  Speaker 4: Indianapolis is just like you, all of those cities Indianapolis.
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: I hate Cleveland.
• 5:50
  Speaker 8: Because it's so hard to get it's the same as Indianapolis.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: First of all, Indianapolis is way more old and industrial.
• 5:58
  Speaker 5: Country, more country than I realized.
• 6:02
  Speaker 6: Country in West Chicago. It's crazy.
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: But now we're not talking down skirts skirts in Indianapolis Country.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: There's parts of Chicago, Indianapolis Cleveland you wouldn't tell where
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: you were if you're just on this block and you're
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: in Chicago.
• 6:24
  Speaker 7: And just some cold breeze water brick house. Yeah, it's
• 6:30
  Speaker 7: the wind is disrespectful there too.
• 6:32
  Speaker 6: The way that it's that.
• 6:34
  Speaker 5: What three Cleveland is better than they'll pass, so they guess.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: Sorts they're always gonna get back. You can't get a
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: team down there, Okay.
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: They got the Browns, they got the Cavalie, they had
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: the Guardians.
• 6:51
  Speaker 5: They filmed visions in New York stinks.
• 6:54
  Speaker 6: But they got Niagara Falls and a sports team.
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: I can't I can't defend Buffalo, but they got Prisselda
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: the Machine. They got Westside, but they got the Buffalo.
• 7:07
  Speaker 6: Bills About Jacksonville, Jacksonville.
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: I like, I love Jacksonville.
• 7:11
  Speaker 4: You like Jacksonville, you don't like, idiot.
• 7:13
  Speaker 5: I'm gonna tell you why.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: Jacksonville jackson And this is huge, by the way, way
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: bigger than it's the biggest city of Florida.
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: Yes, I've had so many great shows in Jacksonville. I
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: can't rate it lowly.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: Okay, I haven't had great shows in Indianapolis, and that
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: always seeps into mind.
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: Jackson Cleveland improv is in the worst place. It's on
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: some docs drug deals.
• 7:34
  Speaker 5: It's an old brig.
• 7:36
  Speaker 6: STI you gotta play hilarities. This is a nice problem.
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: Pittsburgh, yuck.
• 7:43
  Speaker 4: They're all that's here, all same city. Those are the
• 7:47
  Speaker 4: same city.
• 7:48
  Speaker 6: Train tracks, I think. But here's the instruction. But you
• 7:55
  Speaker 6: know that's the problem with Jacksonville is Jacksonville. I walked around.
• 8:00
  Speaker 7: I'm like, it's nice, but I don't like it here. Like,
• 8:03
  Speaker 7: I've never seen more people. I've never seen more people
• 8:06
  Speaker 7: smoking at the beach. No, Jacksonville. That's not people.
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: Gotta get his fresh air.
• 8:17
  Speaker 5: It's big, though. This one thing, it's too big.
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: It's huge.
• 8:21
  Speaker 6: This is hilarious.
• 8:22
  Speaker 7: The number one thing to do, according to trip Revisor
• 8:25
  Speaker 7: in El Paso is this scenic overlook.
• 8:27
  Speaker 6: Look at that drive the overlook. This is the scenic overlook.
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: I'm only defending because Tony is coming at it. It's
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: the worst is you're saying all the stuff I said.
• 8:42
  Speaker 6: There's number five.
• 8:44
  Speaker 7: The number five top thing to do is the National
• 8:47
  Speaker 7: Border Patrol Museum.
• 8:48
  Speaker 6: Stop saying.
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: You see what I'm saying, Man trash Greg the episode sucks.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: That's on the number five.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: To see him for Border Patrol anyway, business is nine.
• 9:05
  Speaker 6: This is a sad number number two. Okay, here we go.
• 9:10
  Speaker 7: The number two is uh Hugo Tanks State Historic Site.
• 9:15
  Speaker 6: Number three is Franklin's Mountain State Park.
• 9:19
  Speaker 7: That yeah, or is the Plaza Theater and uh Border Patrol.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: Mark who's on Patreons said, I saw Kevin Love for
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: the first time in Indianapolis. Rather go to Chicago, Rather
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: drive to a respectable, respectable city like.
• 9:39
  Speaker 7: Chicago, Indianapolis New Year's Eve Helium Comedy Club.
• 9:46
  Speaker 5: I'll be there.
• 9:48
  Speaker 6: I'll be there and I'll be happy to be there. Yeah,
• 9:51
  Speaker 6: I'm not a great New Year's Eve choice, but I'm not.
• 9:54
  Speaker 6: I mean, it'll be a good show.
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: It's a good time one night only, you're doing the
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: full week. The week I'll be in Temple for New
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: Year's Eve. Yeah, at the Tampa in front.
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 10:04
  Speaker 6: Text shots of Tampa versus India and Tampa is better?
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: Is the twenty second largest city in the United States.
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna list you the ten cities after
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: our passo see d C Las Vegas by population, Las Vegas, Boston, Portland, Louisville, Memphis, Detroit, Baltimore, Milwaukee, Albuquerque.
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: Albuquerque is much larger than I thought it was.
• 10:34
  Speaker 6: I like Albuquerque.
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: All of those cities be popping bigger than Atlanta, but
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: Atlanta has a bigger metro.
• 10:43
  Speaker 5: All of those cities get mentioned by people.
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: Nobody brings up.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: Nobody except I was being the most famous person from
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: the past black person until cauld You.
• 10:55
  Speaker 4: Like it from like five places, let's get.
• 10:59
  Speaker 6: Down to but the first from So where do you
• 11:02
  Speaker 6: say you're from?
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: It depends. I honestly don't feel like talking about it, Okay, okay, military.
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: I usually just say I'm a military brat, yeah, because
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: I don't feel like that's my wife's the same thing
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: I do from nowhere. Most people don't have this experience. Yeah,
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: you just live in the same place or you move once.
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: So I was an Apasto from nineteen eighty three to
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: nineteen ninety three, ten years, which is enough to say
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: you're from there to me, right, then I moved from
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: there to Virginia for three years, North Carolina, Alexandria, Virginia
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: fort uh something, I remember, Alexander, Virginia, Ford Military.
• 11:42
  Speaker 6: For the Army for.
• 11:49
  Speaker 5: Fatigued.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: They're saying, my MIC's messing up. Let me see say
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: that Ford fatigues. So belvoir, that's the name of it.
• 12:01
  Speaker 5: Somebody's mic is cracked.
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: They're saying it's staticky?
• 12:04
  Speaker 7: Is it?
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: My mind thought it was just me, But the mic
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: is going on.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: I don't know, so let me listen on you's just
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: their computers blaming them.
• 12:12
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I don't hear that's on your gateway. Maybe somebody
• 12:16
  Speaker 6: else calculm.
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: Let me listen his energy.
• 12:19
  Speaker 5: Hey, come on, would give because you quit saying that?
• 12:26
  Speaker 5: A sick of you?
• 12:28
  Speaker 7: I'm just did you see at the store the other night?
• 12:31
  Speaker 7: One two, three, four five Donald came back to stand
• 12:35
  Speaker 7: up stand Up? She just set up for eight years off.
• 12:37
  Speaker 4: Really Yeah, the strike got everybody coming.
• 12:39
  Speaker 6: Back, you know.
• 12:40
  Speaker 7: Yeah, everyone's like the stand ups are on strike because
• 12:45
  Speaker 7: we don't unionize because we're drug addicts.
• 12:47
  Speaker 6: We would never do it right. They've tried, like stand
• 12:49
  Speaker 6: ups try to unionize before. I never that's ten years
• 12:54
  Speaker 6: in three years ago.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: I got boring three years in the Fort Bragg, Yes,
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: back to Apasso for tenth grade, then Washington for thirteen years. Yeah,
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: so I started rising popularity from Washington, and I came
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: from Washington to LA. So people like where you're from.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: IM from Washington, so that's why it's like from Washington
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: even the best.
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: So it's just like.
• 13:16
  Speaker 5: Thirteen years in Washington, though, that's a lot.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: Want to take a quick break from the show to
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: talk to you about today's sponsor. Earn in life doesn't
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• 13:46
  Speaker 1: Listen Kevin ten twelve years ago really could have used
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  Speaker 1: just give me my money then, and I could leave
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• 14:44
  Speaker 1: And now back to the show. Yeah, I tell I
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: was born in a Paso raised born and raised in Apasto,
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: but I became a man in Washington.
• 14:56
  Speaker 4: I'm sixteen to twenty nine hours in Washington.
• 14:58
  Speaker 7: I mean, if you have to choose between c attle
• 15:00
  Speaker 7: and pass out, it was Seattle. Though, I'll take away
• 15:05
  Speaker 7: that's nicer than where I was at yeah.
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: The smell the domes of paper mill there.
• 15:11
  Speaker 4: That that's like Alabama. Where is it self?
• 15:14
  Speaker 8: There's a like a city in Alabama that smelled like greens.
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it makes it work.
• 15:23
  Speaker 6: It smells like you think someone farted in the car.
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: What they call they called.
• 15:30
  Speaker 7: So yeah, it's had a little come up, but it's
• 15:32
  Speaker 7: like not to do my bed here.
• 15:33
  Speaker 6: But it's like still not that nice Alabama.
• 15:36
  Speaker 8: Yeah, we used to go on college tours in high school.
• 15:40
  Speaker 8: We went to the Alabama schools. As soon as you
• 15:42
  Speaker 8: pull over that damn like off that freeway, it smelled like.
• 15:47
  Speaker 4: Green juice.
• 15:51
  Speaker 5: Yes, you don't want to city smelling like that.
• 15:54
  Speaker 4: Paper mill smell awful.
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: Well we're here too. I saw on the internet.
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: This is a podcast where me and my comedian friends,
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: well two of my comedian friends and Connelian works a
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: regular job here.
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: My friend in HR, my comedian friends and my friend
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: in HR.
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: We talk about random stories on the internet and sometimes
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: we just chop it up before we get to that.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: Today we have Cornelia Stradwick, Dustin Nickerson, and Tony the Baker.
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: Today's first topic.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: Oh and also the comedians don't know the topic before
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: before I say it all right? Today's first topic? Oh,
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: I must say this too. All the topics from today's
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: episode are from you viewers like you, who submitted them
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: to Internet at Kevin Stage. You guys have done great.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: All we asked if the stories are old, not pop culture,
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: not new, but they're funny and interesting. So today's first story,
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: woman goes viral for buying a nineteen ninety eight ford
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: Eskert fordheskirt?
• 16:53
  Speaker 6: This skirt?
• 16:56
  Speaker 5: Was it split?
• 17:00
  Speaker 4: Who made that? Where is that?
• 17:01
  Speaker 5: Was it short? Was it long?
• 17:04
  Speaker 4: Is a general?
• 17:05
  Speaker 6: Is that her? I'm gonna look that up. An Urban
• 17:07
  Speaker 6: dictionary for an.
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: Escort for two hundred and eighty nine dollars a month
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: for eighty four months.
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: This is the picture of her car.
• 17:18
  Speaker 4: Oh, looks she happy?
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: Six years? Over six years?
• 17:27
  Speaker 4: How many miles on it is?
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: Eight hundred thousand miles?
• 17:32
  Speaker 4: How many?
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: I didn't say.
• 17:35
  Speaker 5: How many months? Was there?
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: Seven years?
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: Oh?
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: Seventy two is six years?
• 17:40
  Speaker 4: How many?
• 17:42
  Speaker 8: My daddy got a nineteen ninety three Cadillac with under well, no,
• 17:46
  Speaker 8: just above one hundred thousand miles on it?
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: Really? Yes, it.
• 17:52
  Speaker 6: Was his?
• 17:52
  Speaker 4: He never really, he just drove to work and came home.
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: They don't wait.
• 17:57
  Speaker 8: It got just just over one hundred thusand dollars one
• 17:59
  Speaker 8: hundred thous miles. How many miles on the Escort?
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: He didn't say he just bought this. She just bought it.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: February for Escort, dang two eighty nine.
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: My brother had like a for Escort back in the day.
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: He had he got it like ninety one, though I
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: wanted one one.
• 18:22
  Speaker 4: Maybe that's her first car.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: And listen, y'all can say what y'all want. I would
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: have been this baby. Yeah, I paid my ninety six
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: undred Civic. I ain't never said this out loud. I
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: don't believe it was a ninety six Civic. I turned
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: in my fourth focus and got myself and Melissa Carr.
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: I got a ninety six Civic for ninety nine dollars
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: a month. The whole loan was like four thousand dollars,
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: and I was like money.
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: The guy was like, you don't have four thousand dollars monthly? Please?
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: I got ninety nine every month. Melissa's dad was like money,
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: four thousand dollars is when you're like.
• 19:01
  Speaker 5: Twenty, that's a lot.
• 19:03
  Speaker 6: How yeah, I'm not how.
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: A thousand dollars like thousand, I'll never get a car.
• 19:14
  Speaker 5: Never seen that kind of money.
• 19:15
  Speaker 4: What was your down payment?
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: No doubt, no doubt. Yeah, let me tell you what
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: I got down two cars.
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: I bought two cars that I bought a Honda Passport,
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: which I didn't realize just in a Zuzu Rodeo with
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: different words on that, and I drove that. And I
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: got Melissa car and I had we had a two
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: thousand and three I believe, like Ford Focus. Yeah, turn
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: that in for two worst cars.
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: But because I got two cars, I was like came home.
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: I was like ninety six.
• 19:47
  Speaker 4: Wait, what was your first car?
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: My first car was a Geo Metro.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: Oh and the driver's door didn't close, so I had
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: it was closed, didn't close all the way.
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: We never stayed closed. And the guy who gave it
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: to me it was a gift.
• 20:00
  Speaker 6: This is why he drives bad. He had to get
• 20:03
  Speaker 6: used to do.
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: I didn't know.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: I turned on the freeway and the door open, and
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: I was just like driving Flissen around with my arm out.
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: The window eventually kept getting worse and were like it
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: would stay closed for a while and turn it would open,
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: and then eventually it just didn't go. So I the
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: red duct tape around it. And I remember one time
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: I picked opened her door.
• 20:26
  Speaker 7: And she was like like when your hands are full
• 20:29
  Speaker 7: and you got to put something in the arm, but
• 20:30
  Speaker 7: you doing that your driver's side doors.
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: No no, I taped it closed probably like two months
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: in what you.
• 20:40
  Speaker 4: Take it, So every time you got in the car,
• 20:41
  Speaker 4: you have to.
• 20:42
  Speaker 6: Put a new little passenger.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: I went out the passengers or in the summer, I
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: just climb in the window like a nightscar.
• 20:48
  Speaker 5: You had to get in through the passenger climb seat.
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: Tap rat tape so people wouldn't know immediately this is terrible.
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: So one time I was the door from this, she
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: was like thank you. I was like.
• 21:06
  Speaker 4: You like you love me.
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: This is how much I watched movies. I immediately went
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: to an action sequence. So cav keV gets jacked by
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: a villain, like you get the passage.
• 21:18
  Speaker 5: You see I'm gonna steal your car, you stay right.
• 21:20
  Speaker 3: keV was go ahead and drive the car and the
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: villaines know about the door open, and.
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: So he drives.
• 21:27
  Speaker 5: He hit the corner. He just flying. He got the
• 21:32
  Speaker 5: wrong time to day.
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: I immediately thought of that scene. He's gonna be driving,
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: He's not gonna bunckle up now wrapped the bag. He
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: was like, he just fly out of the money bag,
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: money flying get the wrong ropping the nero from he
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: flew out of the whip.
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: That reminds me. The worst part is the nigga from
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: All State just dead. He was working in the cooking
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: man back line.
• 22:07
  Speaker 4: He recruited him at work.
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: There were hey, man, you cooking eggs. He was like,
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: you know what you out man?
• 22:15
  Speaker 5: Fuck you? Yeah, Jo, you feel me, I'm about to.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: Fast forward, Yeah, twelve minutes later, but you know, same shift,
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: the same same thing.
• 22:30
  Speaker 7: Though, as you saw that car and you knew there
• 22:32
  Speaker 7: was a point in your life where you would do
• 22:34
  Speaker 7: you would be that person. I bet you've each had
• 22:36
  Speaker 7: one job where you're like, I would pursue a life
• 22:38
  Speaker 7: and crime. Absolutely, absolutely, yeah, if the right opportunity came about. Yeah,
• 22:47
  Speaker 7: when I was when I was busting tables at outback steakhouse,
• 22:52
  Speaker 7: if the right person would have come in and said,
• 22:53
  Speaker 7: I can give you an opportunity, it would have been
• 22:55
  Speaker 7: a different crime for me. I would probably cooking math.
• 22:57
  Speaker 7: I don't know the glasses or something, but they absolutely.
• 23:01
  Speaker 8: That was Enterprise. I worked at Enterprise right out of college.
• 23:04
  Speaker 8: So you wash a car full suit on. I'm in
• 23:07
  Speaker 8: the hood of d C. I'm in northeast on Benning
• 23:09
  Speaker 8: Road in the hood washing car.
• 23:11
  Speaker 9: Scrap suit, full suit Ye training program, like you're gonna
• 23:21
  Speaker 9: be a manager.
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: But also if a car needs to be washed, your wash.
• 23:28
  Speaker 4: So you out there vacuum.
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: Wow, you have to throw your tie over you your face.
• 23:35
  Speaker 4: People used to steal the cars, we have to steal
• 23:37
  Speaker 4: them back.
• 23:40
  Speaker 6: You steal a car, so you work in the hood
• 23:43
  Speaker 6: of enterprise.
• 23:44
  Speaker 4: You know people trying to put down they putting it.
• 23:48
  Speaker 8: They be coming in with coupon's like I got a
• 23:50
  Speaker 8: twenty dollars like anything.
• 23:53
  Speaker 4: Somebody stole a Nissan CenTra.
• 23:56
  Speaker 7: We couldn't find a Nissan and your boss came to
• 23:59
  Speaker 7: you and said, no, so you gotta steal it back.
• 24:02
  Speaker 8: I went down the street for lunch and the dude
• 24:05
  Speaker 8: who stole the car was working behind the counter at
• 24:07
  Speaker 8: the subway.
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: Stolen at work.
• 24:10
  Speaker 5: He was to workers, stolen these.
• 24:13
  Speaker 4: I look in the parking lot. The car is in
• 24:16
  Speaker 4: the parking lot. He had ten the windows on it.
• 24:18
  Speaker 9: Took it out before he went to the subway.
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: Weeks later, we.
• 24:24
  Speaker 4: Couldn't find a car. Pas in the windows. He put
• 24:27
  Speaker 4: the spinners on.
• 24:28
  Speaker 7: He couldn't afford the car and the tinted windows.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: I can get the pieces.
• 24:35
  Speaker 5: I just need to.
• 24:35
  Speaker 6: Steal the car.
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: I got plenty of money to dress it up.
• 24:40
  Speaker 6: Yeah, so I went back.
• 24:42
  Speaker 8: I can afford the furn Sandwich went back and I
• 24:44
  Speaker 8: was like, yo, the car at subway.
• 24:46
  Speaker 4: So my boss was like, let's go get our ship back.
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: So he's mister enterprise man.
• 24:54
  Speaker 4: So we got in the car. He had the spare key.
• 24:57
  Speaker 6: Yeah, we go in.
• 24:58
  Speaker 4: We go inside.
• 24:59
  Speaker 8: So but like you know, regular day, Yeah, gets in
• 25:02
  Speaker 8: the car, drives off.
• 25:04
  Speaker 4: Bluemore in the car.
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: In there.
• 25:11
  Speaker 6: You should have got a race.
• 25:13
  Speaker 5: Did you look at the CD collection?
• 25:15
  Speaker 7: Get absolutely get a race for that, because you can
• 25:19
  Speaker 7: go to Enterprise and go we added value to this car.
• 25:22
  Speaker 7: We brought this thing back worth more money than it
• 25:24
  Speaker 7: was before. This is a this is a premium rental.
• 25:27
  Speaker 8: Now it's just in back taking an Italian B n
• 25:32
  Speaker 8: T and he's watching his stolen car.
• 25:33
  Speaker 6: Gets can't he can't even get mad.
• 25:41
  Speaker 5: Stolen car man. Stuff is in there. You had a sandwich.
• 25:50
  Speaker 7: He loves a lot of credibility when you get your
• 25:52
  Speaker 7: car stolen back by enterprise, who stole your car.
• 25:58
  Speaker 4: No, we were all under twenty four years old.
• 26:02
  Speaker 6: This twenty three year old girl in a suit.
• 26:04
  Speaker 5: So so what happens after that?
• 26:07
  Speaker 8: The cars washed because you can't put it back, you
• 26:09
  Speaker 8: can't re rent it when somebody does stuff to it.
• 26:12
  Speaker 4: Yeah, he put ten of wheels on it, like the
• 26:14
  Speaker 4: hub cap spinners. Like you can't do nothing.
• 26:16
  Speaker 5: I say, give me that a laundrip.
• 26:24
  Speaker 4: So it hits your books as like a loss was charging.
• 26:27
  Speaker 5: So why y'all steal it back then?
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: Because that's what I'm saying. What's the take the car
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: o principal, y'all? Yeah, I would do that. Yeah.
• 26:36
  Speaker 5: I was like, you think you're gonna steal on my ship?
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: Pull up, let me get the steak and cheese. Put
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: off everything on it. You got here, You got more
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: peppers in the back of the pelp.
• 26:48
  Speaker 4: You gotta the community.
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: No on ski now tough to.
• 26:58
  Speaker 5: To come back with the bell. They got it.
• 27:04
  Speaker 10: They got me the Pelpers not knowing what something about
• 27:09
  Speaker 10: the sun, about the pills, nobody, because for everything that
• 27:12
  Speaker 10: was missing, I'm like, you ain't got new black alums.
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: Get the black albums off the.
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: Enterprise car back with the with the screwdriver don't have
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: the keynam man, You're still.
• 27:27
  Speaker 6: You peel out the enterprise in the.
• 27:31
  Speaker 5: Man. That's a wild story.
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: That's great you getting.
• 27:37
  Speaker 5: Out the bag man. I know you got them back
• 27:39
  Speaker 5: the fresh, chop them up, do anything else having my
• 27:47
  Speaker 5: stolen car.
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: That was funny. The CDs man, we used to have.
• 27:52
  Speaker 5: A full book.
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: The booklet of CDs was this big.
• 27:57
  Speaker 6: Still That's why that's why our generation, my.
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: Mind was full of burn. Yes, Christian man.
• 28:06
  Speaker 6: As a Christian man.
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: I really struggled with that.
• 28:10
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I really feel you burning Christian City.
• 28:15
  Speaker 7: You wouldn't burn Goss. You would still still from the heat.
• 28:21
  Speaker 7: You're you're hungry. David needed some bread in the temple, and.
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: I bought Kirk Franklin.
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: Burnt the Jackson five Gang.
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: But that booklet would take up your whole passengers.
• 28:37
  Speaker 7: That's why that's why our generation is good at texting
• 28:41
  Speaker 7: and driving, because that's less distracting than your I the
• 28:46
  Speaker 7: full book while it's driving a stick ship shift.
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: Did you have the.
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: Booklet and the hind the zill I had the Yeah,
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: you had the whole setup, like you gotta.
• 28:59
  Speaker 4: Pull it out somebody to look through the yeah written
• 29:02
  Speaker 4: by drive.
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, when you want to read the lyrics.
• 29:06
  Speaker 6: Every once in a while.
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: You met somebody that was your first like assessment of them.
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what they got, Well, the book is like they
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: got a book that's used, but don't the CDs don't
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: go all the way to the back.
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: Why do you have this book?
• 29:19
  Speaker 7: I had the book, but then like I had like
• 29:21
  Speaker 7: the Netflix top ten on the visors, the heavy rotation.
• 29:27
  Speaker 6: I don't want to go digging.
• 29:28
  Speaker 5: Because I had that one too, the one you put.
• 29:30
  Speaker 7: On I lost because my uh, my dad the the car,
• 29:35
  Speaker 7: Like I like this old eighty eight Chevy S ten
• 29:38
  Speaker 7: that was like my first car, and I thought it
• 29:40
  Speaker 7: was like my car.
• 29:41
  Speaker 6: And then I graduated from high.
• 29:42
  Speaker 7: School and my dad just sold the car. Like I
• 29:47
  Speaker 7: came home one day and the car was gone. He
• 29:49
  Speaker 7: stole it to his friend. He sold it to his friend. Yeah,
• 29:52
  Speaker 7: he sold it to his friend with my CDs in it.
• 29:55
  Speaker 7: And he was like, yeah, I mean it wasn't your.
• 29:57
  Speaker 5: Get the did you pull up on su nothing?
• 30:02
  Speaker 6: That's such a that's such a.
• 30:05
  Speaker 7: Dad move though that I just like I came home
• 30:07
  Speaker 7: one day and I was like, I don't Oh, I
• 30:08
  Speaker 7: don't have a vehicle.
• 30:09
  Speaker 6: Now it looks like it's type of fifty a month.
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: Ont be making you feel like your whole existence you
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: have nothing?
• 30:21
  Speaker 3: Like?
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they taking the doors off, the taking the doors off,
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: the hinges, you can't lock the door.
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: Ain't no privacy.
• 30:28
  Speaker 5: I did you a favor by bringing you into this world.
• 30:31
  Speaker 6: Oh yeah, I can take you out.
• 30:32
  Speaker 5: I did you recoup ad Hey, can you conceive me?
• 30:43
  Speaker 5: You got to pay me back though everything?
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: Yo?
• 30:50
  Speaker 5: Like we had Like, can you conceive me?
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: Guys?
• 30:53
  Speaker 5: You too like.
• 30:56
  Speaker 7: Me?
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: Sure? That's what my dad.
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: When I was in college, I remember I didn't have
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: enough money and I went to financial and they were like,
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: did the little qublications. They're like all your parents should pay?
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: And I was like, but they're not. The government says
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: they should. So I told my dad. He was like,
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: I could get you up to high school.
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: If you.
• 31:19
  Speaker 5: And food.
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: I ain't nobody told you the military. You can go
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: to community college. I'm not taking.
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: Out no loan.
• 31:26
  Speaker 6: Man was not hilarious.
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: And nobody told you go to college.
• 31:30
  Speaker 5: I had you high school. Middle school is a strict.
• 31:34
  Speaker 5: Now you want college, figure it out, man.
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: But Melissa's dad was taking out loans. Ye had scholarships.
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: She had a computer.
• 31:43
  Speaker 3: That's because he had a six pack, had a six
• 31:46
  Speaker 3: pack man plus fifty.
• 31:48
  Speaker 4: Well, how old was he? Because dad was like thirty two?
• 31:51
  Speaker 8: Back then you shredd and you just got money coming
• 31:53
  Speaker 8: into huh.
• 31:55
  Speaker 4: How old was he?
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: He was when she was in college?
• 31:58
  Speaker 4: Maybe like thirty eight?
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: No, no, she was. Her dad is twenty years older
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: than her.
• 32:04
  Speaker 4: Eighteen.
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: He was thirty thirty eight, thirty eight. But no, but
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: he didn't have it, he talked Tony's talking about later.
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: It was past fifty he had I'm talking about rock
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: hard ass serious.
• 32:21
  Speaker 5: Watching the college money on his as how much you need?
• 32:28
  Speaker 5: But this is the first pay, but the first is style.
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: All Right, that's enough of this episode. They're only thirty
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: minutes because Audiobo main't paying. Well shoot, don't Greg take
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: that part out. But the podcast company ain't got no bread.
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: So thirty minutes and you enjoy it. All right, we'll
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: be talking a little bit longer on the Patreon. You
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: would know that if you're on here, we're having a
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: great time. These people ain't at work. I mean they're
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: at working.
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: They ain't working.
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: They're like Comelion heard, yeah, I follow the comedian's Chamillion Stradwick,
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: Dustin Nickerson and Tony the Baker.
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: We'll see you guys next Weak Peace