Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 3 - Episode 156 - Are you giving your attention to emotions you don’t want?.mp3

Transcript

Season 3 - Episode 156 - Are you giving your attention to emotions you don’t want?.mp3 · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

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  Welcome to the Good Morning from the Chicken Coop podcast with
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  Kim Johnson, your creative strategist and mastermind set
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  coach. Filled with inspiration,
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  distinctions, perspectives, and possibilities, we help you to
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  cultivate a mindset that leads you to create the best version
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  of yourself you could ever imagine.
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  Join Kim every morning from one of her favorite happy places,
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  her chicken coop, along with all her chickens.
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  Hey everybody. Good morning from the chicken
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  coop. So let's talk about bus drivers
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  that we don't want. Let's talk about giving
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  attention to emotions that you don't want to have.
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  Yeah, and apparently Dottie has a lot to say about this
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  conversation this morning because she's right in my face
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  talking to me about it. So what does this look like in
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  in real world scenarios, situations?
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  We all have emotions that we know we don't like.
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  We all know we do it. We all have that anxiety.
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  We all have frustration, we all have irritation.
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  We all have emotions that we don't want to have.
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  And we talk about them. I know because my clients talk
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  to me about them all the time. But we'll often hear people say,
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  myself included, I don't want to feel this way.
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  I don't want to feel this way. So there's there's the logic
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  that says, well, then don't feel this way.
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  And then there is the reality of, well, I don't know how to
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  not feel this way. Well, part of this, although
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  this sounds very simplistic, is we are giving attention to
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  emotions that we don't want to have.
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  We're putting our directive on it.
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  We're obsessing on it. So let's use anxiety because
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  this is a very common subject for most people and this is
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  where it shows up. We are giving attention to the
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  anxiety over and over and over again.
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  So we're like, I'm anxious, I'm anxious, I'm anxious, I feel
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  anxious. I'm pretty sure I'm anxious.
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  I'm anxious. I feel sick to my stomach, my
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  hands are sweating, I'm anxious. I'm going to get a car.
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  I don't like to drive in the car.
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  That makes me anxious. I'm going to go into work.
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  I'm going to talk to my boss and Oh my God, he makes me so
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  anxious. We use the language of whatever
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  that emotion might be over and over and over to the point where
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  it is our driven reality and it's in front of us.
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  It's constant. So if you've, if you're new to
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  the podcast and you haven't heard me talk about the bus
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  drivers before, this is my theory of teaching people this
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  is that, you know, emotions are like bus drivers and they,
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  whoever's driving the bus predicates your entire
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  experience. We all know when we were kids,
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  if we went rode on a bus, whoever the bus driver you had,
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  you always wished for a certain bus driver.
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  I always wished for Chuck because he was such an awesome
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  bus driver and he was always had music and he was so nice to
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  everybody, yet he was stern and nobody got picked on on his bus.
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  So I liked having him as a bus driver.
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  So I didn't want to ride on anybody else's bus.
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  I, I couldn't wait to see that he was my bus driver every year.
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  And I'll never forget when I came up with this theory of like
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  the emotions driving. I'm like, well, so why do we, if
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  we wish for a certain bus driver, why do we then focus on
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  the ones that don't serve us well?
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  It's habit. It's the fact that we don't
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  allow ourselves to be in the present moment.
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  We spend so much time looking backwards and looking forwards
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  that we're not in the present moment.
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  And it's part of the reason why I like being in the chicken coop
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  so much, because you have to be in the present moment.
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  When I'm out here doing this, This is why I do it here,
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  because you have to be in the present moment.
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  You're paying attention. They're not thinking about other
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  things, they're just doing their things.
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  They get into a squabble with each other two seconds later,
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  it's like it never even happened.
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  They don't hold grudges, they just move on.
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  They live in the present moment. The creatures that they are just
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  dictating that and are, can they be trained?
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  Sure, just like we can be trained, but they don't hang on
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  to the stuff that is, is necessarily the, the stuff that
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  will eat them up inside. In fact, you'll see there might
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  be 1 bird that's very mean to the other birds and all of a
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  sudden they just like they'll forget about it and they'll just
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  move on. It's, it's amazing how quickly
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  they will move past things and that's what I love about them.
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  But anyway, I digress. Let's get back to this.
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  So here we are dealing with these emotions that we know we
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  don't want to have. We know we don't want to have
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  them, yet we constantly give them attention.
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  If this was a child, we'd say we can't give attention to the
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  behavior we don't want. We know the rules organically.
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  We know the rules, but we don't follow them for ourselves.
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  And the very simplistic way to think about this is the bus
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  driver switching out the driver. Let me put a different driver.
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  And well, then anxiety seems to come right back.
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  People will say to me, Kim, it's back again.
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  OK, yes, it's going to take time to shift it.
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  It's going to take time. But the basic, simple boil the
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  ocean down thing is, if you're giving attention to an emotion
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  that you don't want, it will keep driving you.
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  So you have to stop giving it attention.
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  Say no thank you, I choose not to give you attention right now.
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  Nope, we're not doing that right now.
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  You're not going to drive and put a different driver in and
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  then come back and say 2 minutes later it might be back again.
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  Oh no, you're not the best driver for this.
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  But just boil it down to those simple facts of when I give
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  attention to something that I don't want, it expands.
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  It can't not. That's just universal energy and
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  the language of, of science. When you give attention to
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  things that that you don't want or give attention to anything,
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  whether you want it or you don't want it, it expands.
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  So give attention to the things that you do want.
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  Give attention to happiness. Focus on happy, focus on light
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  side emotions. Don't focus on the dark side
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  emotions. It's going to be a process my
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  friends, but I know you can do it.
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  Focus on what you want, not what you don't want.
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  Give attention to the emotions that make you feel better as
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  opposed to the emotions that don't make you feel better.
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  And I hope you have a blessed day and I will see you tomorrow.