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An Unlikely Affair: Trust Yourself · Untraditionally Lala

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Hi Amber, Hi Lola, Welcome to an unlikely affair. Hello,
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: my loves, Welcome back to an unlikely affair with myself
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: in the main bitch, the hottest bitch on the streets.
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: That's so sweet of you.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: I'm extremely attracted to you, and.
• 0:22
  Speaker 3: I'm really attracted to you too, especially when you wear
• 0:25
  Speaker 3: jerseys like that.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: You know. I got this jersey at a vintage place
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: and it had like mud splattered on it. And then
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: I went to a hibachi dinner and as I walked out,
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: it just looked like I had spilled tariaki sauce all
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: over myself. I was like, you know, these mud stains
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: actually are not hitting. It just looks like I spilled
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: food everywhere.
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: Speaking of teriyaki. By the way, I have been salivating
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: over the sushi we had the other day.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: Oh from little Zukaiah.
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: That's how much I miss La sushi.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: So I just recently learned from Amber that the only
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: thing she ever wants to do when she comes to
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: La is get sushi. And I had yet to take
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: her to a good sushi dinner, and so this round,
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: I was like, bitch, we are getting you sushi. I
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: promise that we had like a little date plus one
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: my mother go we get least out of the house.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: I have a shadow. You have a shadow. We love
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: our shadows.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: I have a many shadow. Which is why I'm really
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: obsessed with this episode that we're doing, because we did
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: a poll on Instagram on the an Unlikely Affair Instagram page,
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: and you guys wanted us to talk about what stage
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: is the heartest so far when it comes to parenting.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: I mean, I only have up until around five and
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: a half that I can talk about. You have all
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: the way to sixteen. That is mind blowing.
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: I know, I think about that all the time. It's hard.
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: I don't when I think about the hardest stages. I
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: think for me it starts around puberty. And I think
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: it differs if you have boys and girls. Right, So
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: for me having London and Riley that twelve, like eleven
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: and a half twelve, they start getting mean, and I
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: think it's because it's like it's like a relationship that
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: goes bad. Right. They're all into you, they love you,
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: they want to cuddle you, and then slowly they start
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: pulling away and you're like, well why are you pulling away?
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: You know, and then all of a sudden it's like,
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: oh that was rude. That hurt my feelings. And then
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: I'm like, wait, you're twelve. That's where it starts getting wonky.
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: I think at sixteen you just have to follow along
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: their cycle and where they're at.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: And you're like, do you mean, like, okay, a period
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: cycle or like all the cycles, like go an actual cycle?
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, like a menstrual cycle.
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: I think that that's really important because I also have
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: to check myself too, like I have to know like
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: cut I feel so agitated or emotional or like crawling
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: out of my skin, whatever it is. And then I
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: think of my cycle and I'm like, oh, I'm exactly
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: where this stuff is happening. So it's like I can't
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: blame them. But as a mom having daughters, it's heartbreaking
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: how hard it is to deal with and help them,
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: teach them how to regulate their emotions and what to
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: do instead of just like burning down the house or
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: wanting to burn down the house, like dealing with them
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: and then dealing with your own emotional rollercoaster of whatever's
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: happening in your life.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: Well, I mean, you called me the other day and
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: I was like, how are you you go oh, I'm
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: just saving the house from being burned down because my
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: oldest is on her period, and she goes, I think
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: I'm about to start and I'm going through a little
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: bit of a heartbreak. She's like, so we're just surviving,
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: and like, I wonder what that stage is going to
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: be like in my household.
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, and when you're I don't know what it's
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: like to have teenagers and be in a relationship, like
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: you know, where you're married or you're living with another man.
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: But this past week has been a real doozy you
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: and you know, I actually woke up this morning to
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: take a picture of the sun. Okay, So now before
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: I go into that story, I have to tell you
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: I'm on a mission to wake up at six thirty
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: every morning, like I am. I want to be routined.
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: I am not routined in the morning. And I and yes,
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: it's summer, so I like was giving myself a little
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: bit of grace, but now I'm like, Okay, school's going
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: to start in four weeks. You need to start setting
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: your alarm clock at six thirty every day and just
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: getting out of bed like you have to. So I
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: started that two days ago and I was getting out
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: of bed to go take a picture of the sun
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: because we have all these fires from Washington right now,
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: and the sun, as bad as the air quality is,
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: it looks so beautiful. And I opened the door and
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: a letter from a guy that I was dating.
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: For I don't know.
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: Eight weeks slipped out to the door, and I knew
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: exactly what it was. It was an amend's letter. I
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: was with you when the whole situation went down, and
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: this one has really knocked me on my ass in
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: a big way. I know, I want to share this story,
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: but like I'm really I'm going through it, yeah, and
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: it's really fucking painful, and I've realized that it's like
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: brought up a lot of stuff that I still haven't
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: like I haven't worked out right. I think, like these
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: life events happened to you, and I'm not here to
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: tell someone else's story because what they did is, you know,
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: they did me really fucking dirty. But I'm not here
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: to like bash him and tell his story. I think
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: that like healing, what I'm trying to teach myself is
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: healing comes from exposing myself in the situation. Like now
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: I have to hold up the mirror again once again.
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: And by the way, this is not saying like his
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: actions were okay, because they fucking weren't and they were
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: not cool. But boy, oh boy, has this been roller
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: coaster of a week? You know?
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And like you said, I was with you when
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: the whole thing was playing out. And what's so interesting
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: is when my whole thing was playing out, you were
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: there to you know, really pick me up. And then
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: when you left, I went through this really strange process
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: where like you kind of you were and I don't
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: mean this in a bad way, but you were uplifting
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: me and distracting me and pointing out things that were
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: very useful. And then once you left, you know, my
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: mom is very cut through and she's like, fuck that guy.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: You know, he doesn't deserve your time, and it's like, right,
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: but my heart isn't wanting to say fuck this guy,
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: you know. And even though eight weeks for you and
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: this guy and me, the amount of time was short,
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: like heartbreak and betrayal, it doesn't matter if it was
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: eight weeks or eight months, because it doesn't understand time,
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: It just understands emotion. So it's really intense. And we
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: had this conversation in the cart, but without telling too much.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: It's very intense to look in the mirror and say, like, what,
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: you know, what he did was fucked up? But why
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: do I continue to allow this type of behavior into
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: my life? It becomes a you problem? And yeah, I
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: think it's incredible that you're you're falling back and saying,
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: you know, I'm not going to tell his story because
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: we all have our own experiences that make us who
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: we are. And I'm not going to tell you, you know,
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: how you feel and whatnot, because I don't know what
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: you've experienced in life to make you who you are.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: What I do know is you affected me in this way,
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: and what can I do to change to make sure
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: that the next two that comes into my life, I
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: clock the red flags and I don't wait for the second,
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: the third, the fourth, the fifth to seal the deal.
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's it's.
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: This is the first heartbreak, like real heartbreak I think
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: I've been in being sober, and it's very different. It
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: is a very different experience. After I was married, right
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: through through whole that entire thing. You know, I would
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: use you know, pills, alcohol, boys, shopping, food, distractions, anything
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: but to deal with how I felt and the processing
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: of it. And then I jumped into another terrible relationship
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: where alcohol was abused severely and I participated, and I
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: was a little bit wiser, but not I still didn't
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: have my bearings, Like I was a little baby, still
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: learning to walk on my own again, and I felt
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: safe and then dating, I mean, what's for me, what's
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: so shocking is that this person was sober, And I
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: think that, like this is really important. So like anyone
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: who is in recovery, whatever program you're in, just because
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: they're sober and they work a program doesn't mean that
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: they're healthy. And like my sponsor reminded me, like this
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: is where sick people come to get better, and like
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: we're not all healthy, and just because you have six
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: years of sobriety doesn't make you a healthier person. I
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: understand that people are not perfect, but like I feel
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: like where I'm at right now is like this heartbreak
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: that I'm going through is it's not the heartbreak of
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: like him. It's a heartbreak of almost like I let
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: myself down again. It's it's me wanting answers. I want
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: to replay the conversations. I want to know what was real?
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: I want certainty. But but what is so beautiful I
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: think about this experience that I'm having is that I
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: need to learn to heal and live without not needing
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: all the answers, Like I don't need to know this
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: is a control thing, like this is where I want
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: to know, Well, why would he do this and say
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: this and then go do that? And then why would
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: he go over to her house and then come pick
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: me up and take me on date night? Like I like,
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: I want to know, but I don't have to. All
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: I need to know is listen, this is not about
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: what he did. This is of where did amber go wrong?
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: Where can and this is what our program teaches us.
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: It's like where was my part? Where did ignore my intuition?
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: I'll tell you something. My recovery on this one is
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: much better because as soon as like all of this
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: stuff was going down, when I was in La at
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: your house, my legs were shaking, my my like I
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: my whole body was quivering. And I looked at you
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: and I said, I don't know if I'm going crazy
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: and I'm having post traumatic stress from something that like
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: my past relationship or this is my higher power telling
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: me like something's off. And you looked at me and
• 11:32
  Speaker 3: you said, Amber, you have to trust yourself, And I
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: was like, I didn't even want to trust myself in
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: that moment, even though I knew it was my you know,
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: higher power saying Hello, something's wrong, right, he's not right,
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: he's not answering, he's lying to you.
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: You're witnessing it in real time.
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: Like I still, even at that point, I didn't want
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: to deal with the pain of it, and I was
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: trying to avoid it at all costs.
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: But I so really to that. And I know a
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: lot of people listening who have been through trauma in relationships.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: Even though you get over it, get over it, it
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: changes you, right, and you have those trauma responses and
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: those triggers. And when you were looping on you know,
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: is this my gut or is this my trauma? And
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: I said to you, the same thing happens to me.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: I sit there and I start questioning, you know, is
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: my body speaking to me? Or am I is this
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: a good guy? And I'm feeling like I'm gonna have
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: a trauma response and it's like, no, God is testing
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: you again, saying I'm giving you the same fucking feelings
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: that I gave you with the last person and you
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: ended up being correct, and you're correct this time. Are
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: you going to allow the behavior and ignore the red flags?
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: Or are you going to listen to what the fuck
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to tell you? Because I can't come down
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: and say, hey, by the way, this is what's happening.
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: The only thing I can give you is a feeling.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: Are you going to trust yourself this time? And you
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: fucking did? And I'm very proud of you. Well, thank you,
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: And I'm proud of you for not responding to him
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: because I have yet to become that strong. But the
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: astrologist said I will be open to eleven April in
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: the spring. I've just labeled it as April the first
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: day of spring. I need to write all of these
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: men off who I'm just out talking to, engaging with
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: there giving me fucking nothing, and I'm cool with it
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: because we just fuck and you just occupy time. No,
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: a good man is not going to be able to
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: come into my life because the universe is going to
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: say you haven't wrapped your mind around the self worth part.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: You're saying you want something, but at the end of
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: the day, you're allowing these behaviors just so you don't
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: feel alone, Like I can get off with my vibrator.
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: Yes, Like, yeah, well, I don't know.
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: There's a lot to unpack.
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: There's a lot to unpack.
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: And I think, like again, like my brain, my brain
• 14:09
  Speaker 3: was telling me something and my intuition was whispering. And
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: we as women, we do this all the frickin' time.
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: And that is why this is not about me trusting
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: learning to like trust people, because clearly there's I could
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: I could label myself as someone who has trust issues.
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: It's like, no, you, you have to learn to trust yourself.
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: This is what is its powerful.
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: Have to learn to trust myself in a story. And
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: I don't know why. I'm a thirty eight year old woman.
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: Why the fuck have I learned this yet? It's I'm
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: still uncovering and discovering all this stuff in my life.
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: But this is the lesson, like I could trust and
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: I literally have where is it? Oh, it's right here.
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: I did work with a life coach once and I
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: was actually cleaning out this shore and this quote is
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: I'm willing. I'm sorry, I am unwilling to seek love
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: where I don't have trust. You have to trust before
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: you love. And I really think, even though this is
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: meant for like the other person, you have to trust
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: the other person. It's about trusting yourself. I have to
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: trust myself that I could choose good partners, yeah, and
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: be able to walk away from the ones that don't
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: fit my life. What I want in life, what I value,
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: what I what I need in a partner.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: So yeah, I get it. There's a dude I'm messing
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: with right now, and there have been so many little
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: lies that I've clocked, and I'm like, I'm going to
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: let it slide because I don't want anything from you
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: except you know, when I'm there or you're here, we
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: can link up. And like you can serve as a filler,
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: but like, if you're trying to welcome your person in,
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: you can't have that energy around.
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: No, but la la, I don't like grief at all.
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: I don't want to sit in grief. I don't want
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: to sit in endings. I'm sitting in an ending right now.
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: Have a relationship. And again, it's not about this person.
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: This person was not my person. It's just like now
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: I have to hold up the mirror once again and
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: fucking deal with my shit and deal with the kids
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: and deal with co parenting or the lack thereof, or
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: deal with my you know what I mean.
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: I can't so sick of having to look in the mirror.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: Do you understand? Do you understand? I am so sick
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: of being like, ugh, this went wrong again, want to
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: blame them, but have to look in the mirror. I'm
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: over it. I'm done with that bitch.
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and now I do. Yeah.
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: We just don't like I have nothing to numb myself with.
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: Besides nothing, I have apps like water, fucking water, and
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: I wish there was an in and Out by the way,
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: I'd be going to in and Out right now, Oh food,
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: you don't like in and.
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: Out Amber, I'd rather eat dog food because it's pretty
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: much the equivalent. Everyone fucking loves in and Out. And
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: I'm like the meat to bun ratio is off that
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: sauce that people are getting fries animal style. I'm like,
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: enjoy it's called animal style because it tastes like cat food.
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: Oh, I cannot believe.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: I don't see In and Out sponsoring the podcast anytime soon,
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: and I'm okay with it. By the way, Easton's dating
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: this girl. She's from a different country, right, She's like,
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: all I've heard is in and out. He takes it.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: He's like, it's not that good, but I'll take you
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: if you want. So they go and she was like,
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: this is fucking awful, horrible. I'm like, I know, see
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: even she thinks. So it angers me when someone's like, oh,
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: I want a burger, let's do in and out. I'm gosh,
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: I'm such an easy bitch. You picked the one burger
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: spot that I just can't fuck with. What is wrong
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: with you? Oh my god, I have taste buds. That's
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: what's wrong with me.
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: Oh you know what? Maybe maybe wait, can I just
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: say one more thing? Because I'm looping? This is me
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: looping and.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: You can get it out, baby, this is the letter.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: Can I say one thing? Can I just say one thing?
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: I had a conversation with Amber. I said, the topic
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: is about what's hard during parenting? Should we change the topic?
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: Do you need to loop today? And she was like, no, no, no,
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: we'll be fine with the topic. We're not fine with
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: the topic, little bitch. We're getting rid of this topic.
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: This is gonna we're saving it for another day. Let's
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: this is like therapy. Okay, you don't have to tell
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: the ins and outs, but tell me about the letter.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: Shake the letter again.
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: Okay, this letter, Okay, this one right here, that was
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: in my fucking door when I opened it.
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: Not only is it on a yellow legal.
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: Pad written in pencil.
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: Okay, by the way, it's in what you would send
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: a bill, a return fucking bill.
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: The first thing I noticed, By the way, first thing
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: I noticed, at least the last guy who wrote you
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: a letter, it was in it.
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: By the way, I think you probably ordered that paper
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: was like that heavy duty paper.
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: He used a ball point pin that.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: I appreciate the effort.
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you know what, me too, Cincinnati. You you you
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: really rocked it on the letter.
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: This this bullshit.
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: This is low hanging fucking fruit. Okay, if you're gonna
• 19:29
  Speaker 3: send me, you might as well send me roses.
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: They would have lasted longer they have last.
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: I'm not happy about the setup, but you know what
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: a for effort.
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: Good for you, buddy.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, by the way, you like the baby's breath of letters?
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: Like what it heart that?
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: I fucking love that you just said that you do.
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: But guess what, my my, this my piece is not
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: in this letter. I'm not gonna get resolution in this
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: letter right like this is unfortunately my piece has to.
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: Is going to come from me fucking doing more work.
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: So everybody, you're just going to buckle up because the
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: next month is going to be me.
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: Like just.
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: Am I allowed to talk about how you thought that?
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: Maybe because you know, from the time you're sexually active
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: and young and you experience your first heartbreak, there's always
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: that one friend that goes the way to get over
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: someone is to get under someone, and I think we
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: carry that throughout, you know, our twenties and thirties, possibly
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: into our forties, as you know, single single moms trying
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: to just fucking figure it out.
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: So I was talking to a guy friend of mine,
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: just a guy friend, nothing more, never hooked up, nothing,
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: just pure male female friendship. And I told in the
• 20:51
  Speaker 3: situation that happened it because I wanted to hear a
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: guy's perspective. Sometimes it's like when you when you talk
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: to your girlfriends and you hear their perspective're like, Okay,
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: now I need a guy who has a day, who's
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: like a real man. I want to hear what he
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: has to think. And he's like Amber no cowboy movie
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: that you've ever watched Clint Eastwood, you name it, like
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: a real fucking cowboy movie. Would a man ever act
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: this way? And I was like, I like that, Okay,
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: I like it because it's true. Like the way this
• 21:20
  Speaker 3: whole thing, the way this whole thing unfolded is insane,
• 21:26
  Speaker 3: but it's true.
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: And I know that.
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: People are like, oh, it's just the movies and in
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: the notebook they did, you know whatever. It's like, guys
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: are lying, cheating, cowards. I feel like most of them,
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: and maybe I'm man hating severely right now, but I
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: believe there is a small group of men out there
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: that are still good men, right one percent.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: I believe that because I get offended when a man
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: is like the girls out here today or this, that
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: and the other. I'm like, don't loop us all in together.
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: But also in the mirror, we have to be this way,
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: you know, Yes, the one part where I'm like, I
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: don't need to look we we as women don't need
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: to look in the mirror. The men need to look
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: in the mirror.
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: But most men don't want to because they're all fucking ugly.
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: No I'm kidding, they're not all ugly, but.
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: You're going through something and it's okay for you to
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: have a sharp tongue right now. I get it. Yeah,
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: But also, you know, I don't know when it all
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: changed because I look at my dad, my older brother, Easton,
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: and Easton has claimed and he's done work on this.
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: In his sobriety, he that he did a lot of
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: women dirty that you know, back in Utah. His name
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: is not exactly clean with these chicks. Now he's sober
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: and he's you know, making amends and things like that
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: and doing whatever work he does with his sponsor and
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: whatever program you know suits him. Right. But I'm like,
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: I just can't imagine, because there is a difference. There's
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: a difference between someone being young and moving in a
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: way where it's like you're just emotionally young. You're not
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: out here trying to hurt anybody, but you're just young.
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: The problem is we're not young anymore. So I don't
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: want to date I emotionally young man. I look at
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: my dad, I look at my brothers, and I'm like,
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: they would never move this way when at this age,
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: at this stage of the game.
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, my guy was fifty years old. So you date
• 23:35
  Speaker 3: them older, you think like, oh, you're gonna emotionally be
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: on the same level because I've been through divorce. They've
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: been through divorce, they have older kids. I have older kids.
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: No, it's people. I just I feel like.
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: People don't want to deal with their shit, and trust me,
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: I don't want to deal with my shit. But guess what,
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: I'm desperate enough now to deal with my shit. But
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: your dad wouldn't move that way. My father would not
• 24:03
  Speaker 3: move that way. I'm sure one hundred percent. My dad
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: has made mistakes to what capacity I have no idea,
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: but like, my dad's a good fucking man. Your dad
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: was a good fucking man. Like where where are those men?
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: Let me tell you, Hinge, they're not on Riah, They're
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: not on.
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: They are you just haven't come in contact with them
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: at this point. Because this is what we talked about
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: in the car. You are not even the person that
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: you want to be or are going to be in
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: the next month, two months, next year. So why at
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: this moment would you attract someone who you want if
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: you're not even who you want to be. I'm becoming,
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: you are becoming. So you go out there, you focus
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: on you, you fallen, you refall in love with yourself,
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: you retrust yourself again, and only the universe is going
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: to know when the time is right. And I wholeheartedly
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: believe that. Back to the age thing, this guy being
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: fifty one, right, let me tell you the age thing.
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: I was dating this guy, football player, twenty six years old,
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: so sweet, so kind. He comes to La, we go
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: on a date. He's like, after this, I would love
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: for you to come out and see me, Like, I
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: think I want to move it forward. I was not
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: in that headspace because I had met this new guy
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: who I really felt hard for. Cut to things kind
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: of go south with me and the guy. I hit
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: up the football player FaceTime. He doesn't like to text.
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: I FaceTime him again. Keep in mind, twenty six years
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: old and an athlete. When you hear that, you go, oh,
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: I mean that in itself is a red flag. He answers.
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: He's like, hey, how have you been? I look a
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: mess because I've been sobbing. I'm like, I don't even
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: know why I'm fucking calling you. Actually I do. I'm
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: when you need to get over someone, you get under someone.
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: I knew what the fuck I was doing, but this
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: guy's too healthy for that shit, right. I play it off.
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I've been good. I'm just really tired of
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: being a mom, and he goes, I've been meaning to
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: call you. I've met somebody, and I was like, oh
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: my god, I'm so happy for you. He goes, yeah,
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: I really really like her. So he tells me all
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: about her, how they met, where she went to school,
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: what she does for a living, how his mom really
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: loves her, his dad, and he says, you know, I
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: really want to commit to her, but I told her,
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: you know, I've been single for three years, so I
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: need to tie up some loose ends before I get
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: into a relationship with you, because I don't want to
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: be with her and have a girl text me and
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: make her feel some type of way. But I also
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: don't want to throw off the other girl. And I'm like,
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: this is the most emotionally stable human I've ever encountered
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: in my life.
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: I totally believe that that was God showing you that
• 27:33
  Speaker 3: there are good people, and I think, like your intentions
• 27:36
  Speaker 3: of calling them may have been one thing, but God
• 27:39
  Speaker 3: was like, no, look at there's a man out there
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: that is going to be honest. And I love that
• 27:47
  Speaker 3: what he said because I think That's another thing, is
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: like when you get into relationship with someone, you could
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: be dating someone multiple people, and you do have to
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: tie up loose ends and you do have to be
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: honest and say, guess what, I met someone, And that
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: is a scary is that may sound, it shouldn't be
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: hard to say, and that.
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: The fact that he said that to you, I love that,
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: And then like I want to say it was maybe
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: two weeks later he did a post with the two
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: of them, so it was like, you know, it's an
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: Instagram official, you know, what's the real thing. But I
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: just felt like this overwhelming amount of happiness for him,
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: and I just thought he went about it in such
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: like it was flawless.
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: If he handled it.
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: With every other girl the way he handled it with me,
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: I mean, it just made me so happy. And I'm like, Okay,
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: you have proven that good men exist, you have proven
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: that age doesn't matter, and you have proven that you
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: know you're out on these streets as an athlete, like
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: and you you're moving in a pure way. So he
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: really did knock a lot of things for me.
• 29:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it makes me think that he had a good
• 29:03
  Speaker 3: mom totally. He had a good mama who raised him right.
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: And I really just like showed him how to treat women.
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: And it was funny. I was actually telling my friend
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: who I was talking to.
• 29:16
  Speaker 3: My dad always said to me when I was growing up,
• 29:19
  Speaker 3: he must have experienced heartbreak in some way, not to like,
• 29:24
  Speaker 3: not in the capacity of like divorce, because obviously my
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: parents are still married. But my dad always said, like,
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: never break a man's heart. Never break a man's heart,
• 29:32
  Speaker 3: because you might think that they're big in macho and
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: that they could handle it and they don't have feelings,
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: and he's like Amber, you you have no idea how
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: badly when a woman does that, how bad it could hurt.
• 29:44
  Speaker 3: And I, for whatever reason, I don't know why, that
• 29:49
  Speaker 3: lesson has always stuck with me. And I really am
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: grateful for that lesson that my dad gave me because
• 29:56
  Speaker 3: I never cheated on my ex husband, not once, not
• 29:59
  Speaker 3: emotion nothing, nothing when he was doing me dirty many
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: for many years. I never went out. I never went
• 30:07
  Speaker 3: out like at all, and I will always always remember that.
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: So I think that like it has to do with
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: how your parents raised you and how you see relationships
• 30:17
  Speaker 3: and do people make mistakes. Yes, I don't want people
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: to think that, like you have to be perfect to
• 30:22
  Speaker 3: move through this world. We've all been, We've all had
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: our fair share of making shitty decisions and not being
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: honest and truthful. But I think that, like that's like
• 30:35
  Speaker 3: a big lesson for me, as much as I want
• 30:38
  Speaker 3: to like annihilate someone or fucking slash SARTs. Oh, by
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: the way, let me speaking of that. I took London
• 30:45
  Speaker 3: to eight Carrie Underwood concert.
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: Oh that video made me so happy, you guys belting minute.
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: Oh my god.
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: So I went for a hike with London and my
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: sister and my nephew. I came home Carrie, my neighbor,
• 31:01
  Speaker 3: walked outside. She was dressed so freaking cute. She's like,
• 31:04
  Speaker 3: we're going to that concert.
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: Let's go. Let's sit down, and she made me sit down.
• 31:07
  Speaker 3: I literally was like drenched in sweat, dirty from the hike.
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: She's like, we're finding tickets, and London's like, yeah, Carrie,
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: we're going to go. So I found tickets. We ended up.
• 31:20
  Speaker 3: Literally, I said London, we have fifteen minutes to shower
• 31:23
  Speaker 3: before we have to head up to Big Sky. And
• 31:25
  Speaker 3: I was like, dude, this is going to be a disaster.
• 31:27
  Speaker 3: We showered so quickly we got in that car. I
• 31:30
  Speaker 3: was like, London, this is this is called living, like
• 31:33
  Speaker 3: good living right here. And we went up there and
• 31:37
  Speaker 3: it was the most beautiful concert. It was like private.
• 31:42
  Speaker 3: It felt like a private concert. There was maybe like
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: a thousand people there.
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: You guys were on like grass, right like standing on grass.
• 31:49
  Speaker 3: We were, yeah, we were on the we were on
• 31:50
  Speaker 3: the dirt, and they had like we had stadium seats too,
• 31:53
  Speaker 3: but if you either had access to the stadium or
• 31:56
  Speaker 3: you had access down on the floor. And I cannot
• 32:00
  Speaker 3: tell you. I needed that concert and it just reminded
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: me that music.
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: Is so powerful for me, Like I felt so good.
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: And London was like singing the songs and I was
• 32:10
  Speaker 3: singing the songs and like we were having such a
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: beautiful moment together. And I was like, oh my god,
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: this is exactly what I needed. Not to get in
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: the way, because I would have come home and I
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: would have been in my bed in morbid thoughts trying
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: to figure out why, wanting to text him and understanding
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: why he made the choices he did. But instead I
• 32:28
  Speaker 3: took contrary action and I did exactly what I didn't
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: want to do, which was to drive an hour up
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: to Big Sky, but it ended up being the best
• 32:36
  Speaker 3: thing that could have happened to me. And I fucking
• 32:39
  Speaker 3: love concerts, So if you're going through a breakup, I highly,
• 32:42
  Speaker 3: highly highly recommend go see someone and cry and sing.
• 32:45
  Speaker 3: And that's what's so good as concerts are so loud
• 32:48
  Speaker 3: that you could like just belt it, so whether you
• 32:50
  Speaker 3: have a shitty voice or not, you're like, it's all good.
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: Unless you choose to record yourself, then it only picks
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: up on yours. But you guys sounded great. I was
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: watching and my face is like this, and my mom goes,
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: I was in the car and you like turned you
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: know it's jarring when someone plays something and there's like
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: a lot of noise, But I had your guys' thing
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: on silent and I'm just cheesing right, so I know
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: you're having the best time. And it's fucking Carrie Underwood,
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: which I had just listened to our song, the same
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: one you guys are listening to. My mom goes, who
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: are you texting? I was like, I'm watching Amber's video
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: and she was like, well, I want to see turn
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: it up because that's how big I was smiling. Usually
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: I only smile like that when like a hot man
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: texts me. So I turned it up. You guys were
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: so cute and London was living her best life.
• 33:38
  Speaker 3: It was so cute, except for the people in front
• 33:41
  Speaker 3: of us started smoking weed and she's like, Mom, what
• 33:43
  Speaker 3: does that smell?
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, Heaven, I'll tell you why relaxation.
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, she's like, mom, why are you doing this?
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: Like, no, honey, I'm sober, Like you know that anxiety
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: we all suffer with. That'll take it right away. I
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: don't know.
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: We does not do that for me. It makes me
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: so paranoid.
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah. That's how I knew I had to give it
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: up was when it turned on me.
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it turned on me.
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no longer had my experiences.
• 34:14
  Speaker 3: And I was like, I thought I was like some
• 34:17
  Speaker 3: PI like doing cartwells cartwheels in the.
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: Fight and that definitely that was just a PI doing
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: cartwheels in the hallway.
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: What is that?
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: A private investigator?
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: No, I know, But what is the.
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: Thing that does like cart wheels when you're like spying
• 34:29
  Speaker 3: on people?
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: What are you smoking it? Now? What the fuck are
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: you talking about?
• 34:38
  Speaker 3: When like you've seen it in the cartoons where they're
• 34:41
  Speaker 3: like going through the laser.
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: Come on, is easton there?
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: No, it's not here, like the ducking and dodging.
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: Yes, you're Kim Possible. Yes, Kim Possible. I turned into
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: Kim Possible when I say, do.
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: You do cartwheels over the laser beams?
• 34:57
  Speaker 3: Yes, that's me when I smoke wheat, or when I
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: did smoke weed, or take I took.
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: That doesn't sound like it turned on you. That sounds
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: like it fully had your back and best interest at heart.
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: Let me tell you what my experience laying on the couch,
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: I'm one with it, watching murder closing every blind because
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: the murderer is outside and then has some way worked
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: its way into my shoe. Now it's about to kill me.
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: And in a matter of less than a minute, you
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: have talked yourself into a murderer living in a shoe.
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: Everyone's like it's laced. I'm like, I got it from
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: a weed store.
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, No, it's fucked. That weed is weird. Weed is
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: a weird one for me. I didn't handle it.
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: It's because you didn't get the perfect blend of fatified.
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: I'm like, all right, enough, I'm sober, I'm not relapsing.
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: I don't need you to talk.
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: To a chemist.
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: By the way, I don't want to be a chemist,
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: not at all, Not at all. Also, I think I
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: would be really, really nervous to be a mom if
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: I were high. I think I'd look at them and
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: be like, where do you need someone like Easton to
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: get you out of the funk. Anytime a dude makes
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: me feel some type of way, the shit that comes
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: out of his mouth, I'm like, well, I can never
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: see that man again because the image you just painted
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: I'm never gonna be able to get out of my head.
• 36:28
  Speaker 3: I love Easton so much. He's the best. He really does.
• 36:31
  Speaker 3: He knows how to get anyone out of a phone.
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: He really really does. And you're going to be back
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: here any day now.
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I might actually be coming tomorrow.
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: Do not fuck with me, are you for real?
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: Listen?
• 36:44
  Speaker 3: London is leaving on Wednesday for where home home?
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: She's going?
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: She no, no, She's going to Miami to visit her
• 36:53
  Speaker 2: father and Riley.
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: Why is Riley going? She just wants to before school.
• 36:59
  Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, I'm like Riley, it's time to come home, dear.
• 37:03
  Speaker 3: It's enough, is enough? You've been playing all summer? Like, yeah,
• 37:07
  Speaker 3: it's time to come home.
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: And get serious.
• 37:09
  Speaker 3: And so I could stay in Montana and go hiking,
• 37:14
  Speaker 3: or I can catch a plane and go have some sushi.
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: I'll take the ladder, I mean and shopping. I love Montana,
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: by the way, love love love Chef's cats. But I
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: mean that's the depretion station right there. So I was
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: walking hiking by yourself.
• 37:33
  Speaker 3: No, I love hiking by myself. While it's so, I
• 37:37
  Speaker 3: think sometimes I don't know why.
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: I just love it.
• 37:40
  Speaker 3: I love hiking by myself. I need to hear my thoughts.
• 37:44
  Speaker 3: I'm also a weirdo when I hike.
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: I'm like me, me to have the thrill of a
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: bear approaching me. And yeah, that is true. You know what.
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: That's brutal, it's like a rush.
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: Maybe that's like.
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: A That's something to look into too, amber. Yeah, something
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: that with death. I think that's something we should we
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: should deep dive into. Maybe therapy. I can't do therapy,
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: and I'm done with therapy. No, I don't want any
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: more therapy. I did enough therapy in my twenties, you
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: know enough.
• 38:15
  Speaker 3: I just need to go have some fun and eat
• 38:18
  Speaker 3: and shop and just just be amen.
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: Be you let me know what the game plan is
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: I'll be right here waiting for you, baby. Read I'll
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: be that cowboy from the Clone Eastwood movies.
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: Oh, I would love that.
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: I know I would make the greatest man.
• 38:42
  Speaker 3: I think I would make the greatest man too. I
• 38:43
  Speaker 3: say that all the time.
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: I would never fuck up, really, but maybe just like
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: the common things that people do. And let me tell
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: you something, Boo, I would fucking fly in. I would
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: shower you with whatever you wanted. I send the cute text,
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: but not in the love bomby way.
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: You know what It's like that Beyonce song if I
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: were a boy.
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: It's one hundred percent that babe.
• 39:04
  Speaker 3: I fucking love that song. I'm actually gonna go listen
• 39:07
  Speaker 3: to it.
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: You should. I'm going to listen to it on the
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: way home. Yeah, genius. I love you, Love you. Thank
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: you guys for listening to another episode of an Unlikely Affair.
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: We're going to catch you next week. We love you, babe.