Latest / Business for Humans / In the Presence of Harry Styles: A Lesson in Space, Safety, and Shared Humanity

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In the Presence of Harry Styles: A Lesson in Space, Safety, and Shared Humanity · Business for Humans

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  In today's episode, I explore the unexpected connections between live music,
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  community, and personal growth.
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  Discover how shared experiences can transform our understanding of safety,
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  space, and self-awareness. Enjoy.
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  So many things to say. I'm sure it's surprising to see a podcast episode by
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  someone like me with a name like that.
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  It's not clickbait. I assure you this is 100% complete sincerity.
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  It surprised me as much as you might be surprised if you're a regular listener.
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  And if not, welcome. I am a.
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  This may not be exactly like a business coaching episode, but there is some dot connecting here.
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  And I think you will understand how this might help you or resonate with you
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  or help you be in new spaces in a new way.
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  So I'm like so excited about this because seriously, I was shocked.
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  Okay so i am not
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  a huge harry styles fan of course
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  he's been in the ether he's a pop star so obviously i know
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  who he is and have you know
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  been kind of pulled in at certain times around certain things like particularly
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  the performance of sign of the times at saturday night live that was a hook
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  in me for a minute there but then i didn't pay attention to him so he's in amsterdam
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  i live 35 minutes away from Amsterdam.
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  He came here for 10 days. He's still here, I think.
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  And I was talking to my best friend, and this is the power of a best friend.
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  I was just like, oh, Harry Styles is here for 10 days.
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  And she's like, well, why aren't you going? I'm like, because I don't really listen to him.
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  She's like, yeah, but he's going to a few places in the world.
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  It's kind of a moment, like a cultural moment. You have to go.
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  So it was the day before I got online and I was like, oh, there's really cheap tickets for 30 bucks.
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  I'm just going to like bring my family and like also brought my husband,
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  which he doesn't go to things like that.
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  Brought my daughter. She doesn't really listen to Harry Styles.
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  She's a little bit more punk than that. And so I was like, whatever,
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  we'll just make it an event.
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  I was kind of not expecting the moment that I had.
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  And at the risk of sounding like a teeny bobber, I had a few epiphanies.
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  And then afterwards, I was looking at stuff that was out there and I watched an interview.
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  And I realized that my epiphanies were aligned with what this guy was trying to bring forward.
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  I had a few epiphanies in the concert, but then I think there was like this
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  interesting couple of days afterwards where it wouldn't leave me and I couldn't
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  figure out what happened.
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  What happened to me? And nobody saw it. My daughter was like, what?
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  Did we go to the same concert? I didn't realize you were having this kind of experience.
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  But there's this thing that's happening in the world right now where there is
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  so much violence and we're seeing so much anger and hatred in the world. And it's so loud.
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  So when you enter a space with a
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  lot of people my experience as
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  someone who went to a lot of concerts in the 90s was there was violence in a
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  crowd and i'm also american and i was also listening to like grunge and music
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  that was maybe slightly more aggressive than the music that's coming out now
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  well in certain circles i guess there's probably still like aggressive music out there.
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  But I would go to concerts in the 90s and there was always blood.
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  For real. There was a mosh pit. Apparently in Europe, that wasn't a thing in talking to my husband.
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  But there was a mosh pit. And as a young person who was very moved by music,
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  I felt like I needed to be in the mosh pit. I needed to be in the moment.
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  I needed to be soaking in the moment, which meant you have to be in the middle
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  of the crowd like I've lost shoes, gotten groped,
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  definitely shed blood and there was usually like just
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  a lot of aggressive dudes trying to
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  shove each other and that was the experience of being
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  in a concert and what's interesting right now and why i feel so compelled to
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  talk about this is that here's this dude and it's not just him i think this
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  is happening in general it's a movement but i think here's this person who's like 30 and i'm 50,
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  And I just think something is happening collectively with people because if
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  a 30-year-old and a 50-year-old can be connecting the same dots,
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  I was connecting these dots and then I saw interviews with him and I was like,
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  oh, okay, I was connecting the right dots.
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  I was absorbing what he was trying to put out, which is just so cool.
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  So, okay, so I'm going to like delve this in. Holding space for people.
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  This is something that I had to learn how to do as a coach.
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  There's this thing about holding space for people that it stops being about you.
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  And I think this is something I experienced at the concert.
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  I looked in the general admission pit. So I was up in nosebleeds.
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  That's when the ticket was so cheap.
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  But I was looking at the general admission pit, and I had a sensation that I
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  haven't had in a long time, which was people having their own experience.
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  Experience so there is a thing because i've been going to a lot of concerts lately with my daughter,
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  and it's a lot about the phone and the thing about
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  the phone is that it makes it about that person it's performative
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  for the person that's watching the person perform which is so weird but by having
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  the phone there they are creating like a persona of i am a person at a concert
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  and here's my my perception of the concert instead of being a person at a concert
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  having their own experience.
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  And obviously, like, I'm here also trying to share the power of the experience.
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  So I'm not saying there's anything wrong. It's just an interesting juxtaposition
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  of, like, the performers that they're performing.
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  There's a space they have to hold. And then there's a space you hold as like
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  the receiver of the information or the power of the music or whatever it is,
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  whatever kind of space you're in with a bunch of other people.
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  You also have a responsibility to respectfully hold that space.
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  And anyway, what really surprised me that I haven't seen since old days,
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  they were not, no phones.
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  There was like a bunch of people like laying down between the opener and Harry
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  Styles, which I thought was so fun.
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  They're just there like being in the moment, absorbing the moment.
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  There were two people jump roping and then people were coming in and jump roping with them.
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  There was a group experience happening that was like watching from above. It was so moving.
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  It was so moving because you know that someone had to come in and hold the space
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  for people to feel like they could do that.
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  And also for someone who's such like a tremendous pop star and who's also very
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  compelling to watch, you know, watching that whole experience happen,
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  that these people were still in their own experience.
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  And there's something that my daughter said when we went to see Billie Eilish.
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  I think we were like eating or something.
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  We were watching people just moving back and forth.
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  And she was like, I love this.
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  I love this. I mean, this is my 14-year-old. She's like, I love this space.
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  Because when everybody comes together to see this person that they're all drawn
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  to, it's like a group hug.
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  That is the best description. and again
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  from my 90s experience it wasn't all love and
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  holding hands there were some musicians
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  that held space and brought people together and they felt like that but i would
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  say in my experience going to see bands like jane's addiction or like ice tea
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  and body count it was a safe space or i saw primus it didn't feel safe and so.
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  There's a responsibility someone has to hold space for people,
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  and I think that we're being drawn more than ever to these spaces where we can feel communal,
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  where we can feel that safety in numbers, because what we're seeing on the outside
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  is not that. We are not seeing safety in numbers.
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  We're seeing violence and a lot of division and hatred, and hatred for no reason
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  except that someone told us we're not supposed to like those people.
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  I do think that there is also like this generational shift.
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  And I think that we had to have the violence.
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  Extreme things that are happening in the world happen for us to rise,
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  for us to feel as a group that we could rise to the occasion.
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  I think we still need to be a little louder and louder in a soft way.
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  We need to, instead of screaming, we need to be singing, we need to be chanting, but we need to be louder.
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  But these spaces that people are holding for us are allowing for that.
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  And it seems like going to a concert is not going to shift things.
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  It's about creating more of these spaces. That is the uprising, right?
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  That is the way that we're getting louder. We're getting louder in the way that
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  feels safe and comfortable and soft, but creating movement.
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  And I never believed that as much as I believe it right now that the change
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  happens in each one of us in the way that we show up in the world in the way
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  that we show up with each other.
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  And it's just fun that at 50 I'm like having this complete surgence of connecting
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  these dots in all these interesting spaces for myself and I'll just talk about
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  the holding space point for one more a minute.
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  But I learned in the journey of becoming a yoga teacher, which was only a six-month
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  journey, but there were so many learnings.
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  And again, like afterwards, I'm marinating on it and realizing the depth of
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  the things that I learned through that journey.
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  And I think this whole thing of learning how to be in these spaces at my age too.
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  So anyway, this idea of holding space for people As a yoga teacher,
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  there's an insecurity about showing up in front of people as if you know more
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  than they do, right? Which is not the case.
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  But we go through this journey of like, am I good enough?
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  Am I good enough to be in front of people showing them how to do these things
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  when they might be a lot farther away?
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  On the journey than I am more flexible more able
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  to do some of these things and it
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  took me teaching two classes to get
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  over myself to realize it has
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  nothing to do with me except for my ability
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  to hold space for people I need to create a
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  safe space where they can go inward and not
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  be self-conscious and not be scanning the room figuring out
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  if they look like everyone else but holding
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  that space so that they can have an experience to go
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  inward and the second class I taught I was
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  like oh I get it now it's not
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  about me who cares what I look like who cares if I can do it or not do it I
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  need to be grounded enough I need to get myself centered before I go into a
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  class so that when they come in they feel that they feel that grounded centeredness
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  that's my a responsibility as a teacher.
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  I am not here to preach or say something that I think I know more than you.
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  I want to say something that you're like, oh my God, I feel that way too.
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  Oh, I'm connecting those same dots. It's a way of creating community.
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  If it's three or 10 or 20 people, hold the space with the same.
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  Intention and same responsibility
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  because whoever shows up they're there to
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  have the experience okay just to
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  bring it back into the work situation if i go into a meeting with a client and
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  i'm not grounded and centered and understand what i want to get out of this
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  meeting and be kind and respectful to their time i'm not holding the space for
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  them in a responsible way because everyone's busy.
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  So holding space for people, massive learning in that moment of watching people
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  have their own experience in a space that was being held by someone who wasn't
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  like, hey, watch me, watch me, watch me.
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  They were just, I'm holding this space. I'm showing up. I'm doing my best.
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  I'm being intentional in this moment.
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  And again, I don't follow this guy. I don't know his life philosophy, but I got that.
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  So I also think there's a power of just being in the room with people who are
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  so intentional that you get the message.
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  And the message was so clear that even my husband, who was like indifferent
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  to the whole thing, we went on a bike ride the next day and he was like,
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  the dude's got a simple message, but you have to be open to receiving it.
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  I was like, dang, dude, that is not the normal mantra that I hear on that side.
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  And I was like, that's it. It's a simple message.
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  You just have to be open to receiving it.
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  So obviously he was open and message received.
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  Just I was in love with that. I was in love. I'm so in love that I want to go back.
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  I just want to be in the pen, have that experience because it was just so beautiful
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  to watch. Holding space. Okay.
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  Creating safe spaces. So after this,
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  epiphany that I had of an experience I
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  watched an interview and one of
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  the things he talked about was being in a club and having
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  this transformational moment because
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  he was able to turn inward and
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  forget about what might be happening outside and
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  he talked a lot about like it feels so safe and
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  I had this moment of realizing I've
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  never felt safe in those spaces because
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  I'm a woman and as a young woman
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  who I mean it sounds weird but
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  you know I was cute and fit
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  and I love to dance and you
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  get a certain amount of attention and for the first time
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  I connected the dots of like celebrities are
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  objectified and people are turning them
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  into something that has nothing to do with who they are
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  and ding ding ding that's what it's like to be a woman in the world so we dressed
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  down i dressed in baggy clothes even if that wasn't my comfort zone i just didn't
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  want the attention i would go for a run and all these like creepy old dudes
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  would be looking at me and And I was like,
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  I don't want the attention. And for the first time, I was like, oh.
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  Yeah, that's their life. Well, that's the life of women, too.
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  So how many times did I go to concerts and, like, get really so uncomfortably
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  groped that I had to, like, reach up out of the crowd to the security and ask
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  for help and get pulled out of the crowd?
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  In like my best moment i was getting groped and
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  it was so uncomfortable and i did that but
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  i was at the beastie boys concert and they pulled me up on stage and
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  then i had to walk off like that was the only way out was to get on stage for
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  a second i didn't turn it into a moment but it was a moment it was an internal
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  moment i needed to escape this very creepy dude those spaces never felt safe
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  i never felt safe at a club i never felt like i could go inward because it didn't
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  it literally didn't feel safe.
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  Physically, I never felt safe. So there was a very interesting moment watching
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  this interview with him where he was talking about, finally,
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  I felt safe and I was able to go inward.
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  So I'm 50 and I'm finally in a moment where I'm not getting attention.
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  I'm so happy to not have that attention, that objectifying kind of attention.
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  So I do feel safer, but And that holding has been so intense my whole life of
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  like not being able to look inward that I realized even as recent as this morning.
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  I realized that yoga is a safe space for me.
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  And I'm able for the first time not worry about what everyone else is doing
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  or what's going on around me or how I look.
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  It's about looking inward. And so for the very first time in my life,
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  I feel comfortable wearing a sports bra and my exercise pants,
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  you know, like being scantily clad where in any other environment wouldn't feel safe.
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  And I don't do it because I'm trying to get attention. I do it because I feel
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  like when, especially recently, it's been really hot here and it's not air conditioned in the studio.
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  And there's something that I feel really strong when I'm like.
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  I don't know how to describe it, but when I just have less like layers on and
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  I can just it's just about how I'm moving and I feel so much more comfortable
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  moving in space without a bunch of like stuff hanging off of me or I have to
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  worry about like this thing is fitting weird or whatever.
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  It's just like about my body in motion and
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  the less clothes the better and it's and i
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  finally feel like i'm in a space where i can do that and not feel like someone's
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  gonna look at me or it's about how i look or i'm trying to get attention it's
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  not about any of that it's just i feel so much more comfortable literally like
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  it's easier to do the movements i want to do without a bunch of like baggy stuff hanging off of me.
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  And I just recently made that connection of like, why?
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  It's because this is the first time I feel safe. And you can imagine after,
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  I don't know, when did I start going out? When I was 16, I started going to shows.
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  So that's how long it's been that I've never felt like I could really embody the experience.
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  Of course, there were moments where you're just like, okay, I don't care.
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  They're few and far between. But I think now so consistently
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  as I go to yoga and I sort of double down on yoga
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  like that's the place where I feel it and I'm feeling so much release of
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  tension and all the shit I've been carrying for
• 18:56
  so long because I finally feel like I'm
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  in a space where I can turn inward and it's
• 19:02
  because I have amazing teachers holding incredible space
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  and this is why I'm so drawn to the studio that
• 19:09
  I found because it's very much based
• 19:13
  on this idea of like trying to create community which you don't often feel when
• 19:18
  you go into these spaces because nobody talks to each other but that is not
• 19:21
  the situation here which I really I'm in awe of the business that this person
• 19:28
  started because now their business is surviving community.
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  Not because of them, right? It's grown beyond the founder.
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  It's grown into a thing that like the business has to survive because of the people that need it.
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  So sometimes, again, this idea of like stepping out of yourself,
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  it doesn't have to be about you.
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  It has to be about what you're trying to create in the world and how important
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  it is to hold that space for people.
• 19:56
  It's like if they ever closed down the studio, somebody would
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  immediately emerge because it's so needed it
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  just feels so lovely like
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  to have a reason to
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  come together and i think that we
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  learned isolation and solitude in 2020 and the impact of it and i needed it
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  personally like i needed the world to shut down to give me permission to shut
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  down because i just didn't have permission before And I realized also in that moment, like, oh, dang.
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  I've been pushing for so long. And so I finally got permission.
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  But then it, like, goes on too long. And then you realize, oh,
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  wait, I'm in complete isolation.
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  Like, it's so important to find connection.
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  And I think it's taken almost this long for people to feel safe in those spaces.
• 20:48
  We had some PTSD about I'm going to get sick.
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  And in fact, I went to a show a few weeks ago and I was in the general admission
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  and it was packed and I got sick.
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  And then I was like, oh, yeah, that's what happens when you're in a group for
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  an extended period of time or breathe in the same air.
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  Okay, so holding space, looking inward, having your own experience in these
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  spaces, feeling comfortable, feeling safe, allowing yourself to embody those
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  experiences, and then seeing what happens.
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  The release of tension, this is why I really feel a connection between yoga
• 21:26
  and the work that I do as a coach, because...
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  Sometimes you're just holding that stuff in your body and you don't have a word
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  for it. So sometimes people are like, I'm not anxious.
• 21:36
  They're like, OK, well, let's just go a little bit deeper.
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  When that thing happens and you have a thought about it, what's happening in
• 21:43
  your body? And they're like, oh, this tension and that tension.
• 21:45
  OK, so maybe you don't call it anxiety. It's fine. You don't have a word for
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  it. You're feeling a visceral reaction to something.
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  You need to take that seriously. Don't just ignore it because that's what we do.
• 21:56
  We're like, God, this pain in the pit of my stomach. ignore ignore
• 21:59
  ignore i mean of course there are times you need
• 22:02
  to just go to the doctor for stuff like that but when it's something that's
• 22:05
  being generated you can tell it really a feeling that
• 22:08
  you have you're feeling it in your body it doesn't have a word it's important
• 22:13
  to know what that is and then sometimes know how to release it because i do
• 22:18
  a lot of mindset work with people but you can't talk yourself out of some of
• 22:23
  these things and you can't run away from them all the time either.
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  So I love this idea of being in a space that feels safe, feeling like you can
• 22:30
  look inward and then have a kind of somatic experience.
• 22:37
  Embodied experience to be able to release tension that you've been holding on to.
• 22:42
  I work with a lot of people in burnout, and I think a lot of where that tension is, is in our jaw.
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  And it's fun, too, because collectively, there's so much more attention being
• 22:53
  placed lately on your nervous system and what happens in your nervous system.
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  And people are finally coming to the conclusion that being in fight or flight
• 23:05
  all the time, being in really high impact, stressful situations has very serious health implications.
• 23:14
  We're finally connecting those dots. So one of the other learnings is the way,
• 23:19
  it's funny, I don't even want to use this name.
• 23:22
  I'm like this person, because it feels like I'm some kind of teenage fan.
• 23:26
  It's not about that. I'm just really inspired.
• 23:28
  But I think the whole way that he's showing up right now around this tour is
• 23:33
  preventing burnout and people might push back and people might,
• 23:36
  you know, have opinions.
• 23:38
  But ultimately, the thing about setting boundaries, especially at work,
• 23:43
  is I know my value. I know the value I bring.
• 23:46
  This works better for me. I want to do it this way. And I'm always encouraging
• 23:50
  people to ask for that at work.
• 23:52
  What do you need to do better? What do you need to excel?
• 23:56
  Don't be afraid to ask for it. If you know your own value, which most people
• 24:00
  don't, but if you work with someone that helps you see that,
• 24:04
  whether it's your manager or you're working with a coach or whatever,
• 24:07
  or just realizing like you're a badass, once you know your value,
• 24:12
  it's a lot easier to show up and say, listen, my value is going to be plus 100
• 24:18
  if I can just do it this way.
• 24:20
  If that means working remotely or working from home or working more with a team
• 24:25
  or, you know, collaborating more, that's where you start to see those things
• 24:31
  shift, which is really cool.
• 24:34
  This thing about really feeling comfortable in your own skin is related to that too.
• 24:40
  So there's a thing about like being in these spaces, they feel safe,
• 24:44
  you feel like you can kind of be yourself, and then standing in that truth.
• 24:51
  I know my value. I know what I want to bring to the world. I know the spaces
• 24:54
  I want to hold for people. It's not about me.
• 24:58
  I think entrepreneurs are on this journey and musicians and artists are on this
• 25:03
  journey because we feel this thing, we're passionate about this thing that's
• 25:07
  inside of us. We feel like we want to bring it forward.
• 25:10
  We feel weird about bringing it forward because there's so much ego attached
• 25:15
  to showing up and like sharing something.
• 25:17
  And then we get weird about that. And then we, a lot of people shy away from it. They never share.
• 25:23
  So they're like, I feel compelled, but that is a bridge too far for me.
• 25:29
  It feels like it's my ego. I don't want it to be about that.
• 25:33
  And then they shy away from it. Then there are people who push through.
• 25:36
  It is about their ego for a while. I am in front of people.
• 25:39
  I am getting good feedback from people. But then we have to get to the point
• 25:43
  where I don't need the feedback to keep showing up.
• 25:46
  I feel compelled enough to share this stuff that I don't need to attach myself to some outcome.
• 25:55
  It just feels important to share. And I think that's where I'm at.
• 25:58
  I don't even know what I'm doing. And I feel like when I work with clients and
• 26:02
  we've worked together for a long time, it's like, oh my God, we cracked it.
• 26:05
  And it is the best feeling to
• 26:07
  like crack something in collaboration with someone. I want collaborators.
• 26:12
  I want people to go on a journey.
• 26:16
  For themselves. I want to hold space for them on that journey.
• 26:19
  And I want to be able to like pull on threads and push them in all the best
• 26:25
  ways so that they have awareness and then they walk a path that feels really
• 26:30
  aligned with who they are,
• 26:32
  a path where they can also support their families and they don't have to do it the old way.
• 26:36
  So it's a really interesting moment. If you're tuning into this idea of like
• 26:42
  community and partnership and holding space, looking inward,
• 26:49
  but doing it for the good of the whole, the more you show up in these spaces,
• 26:54
  which is risky and vulnerable,
• 26:56
  the more people will see your mistakes and then blam on to your mistakes for all their reasons.
• 27:03
  And then we either shy away from showing up anymore or
• 27:06
  we have this new confronting battle
• 27:09
  and i think as a parent there are
• 27:13
  so many freaking mistakes like daily did i
• 27:16
  do that right did i do that right am i gonna like fuck them up is
• 27:20
  that the right thing to do and i think what i'm realizing
• 27:23
  too on this journey as a parent is like showing up
• 27:26
  is enough i might not do it
• 27:29
  perfectly i mean not might not I
• 27:32
  don't I don't do it
• 27:34
  perfectly very far from but what
• 27:38
  my kids know is that I will always
• 27:41
  be there like I will always show up and they are also aware of the fact that
• 27:46
  I know when I make a mistake and I'm also really honest about it with them that
• 27:51
  was on me I yelled at you that wasn't about you that was about me but also there's
• 27:56
  a thing we need to talk about here It's not, you know,
• 27:59
  sweeping it under the rug. There's a, there's a topic.
• 28:02
  There's an issue we need to address. But me yelling at you about it is not the
• 28:07
  right way to do it. And that's on me.
• 28:09
  That's not on you. So I am in a continual loop of like, show up,
• 28:15
  try something, make a mistake, admit a mistake.
• 28:19
  But then release the mistake is the last part that most people don't do.
• 28:23
  They make a mistake, go into humiliation, stay in a shame spiral,
• 28:28
  run away from the mistake as much as possible, and then whatever happens, happens.
• 28:32
  So I do feel a responsibility to
• 28:35
  keep showing up to keep holding space to keep
• 28:38
  doing the inner work to to give myself these
• 28:41
  safe spaces where I can show up and release
• 28:44
  and be more open and then hopefully impart a little bit of that openness and
• 28:51
  that joy and that group hug onto other people compliment them more you know
• 28:56
  rise them up like I think I've always had this weird thing in me where I was
• 29:00
  so insecure for so long that I was always poking at people.
• 29:04
  And that's not going to give momentum to this movement of kindness and community and the group hug.
• 29:12
  So, you know, I'm working on that. I want to make sure I'm showing up and like
• 29:16
  really lifting people up.
• 29:19
  I think people that work with me as a coach or people that have been in communities
• 29:24
  with me hopefully see that.
• 29:26
  So, all right, in conclusion, I've talked about a lot.
• 29:29
  I hope there's cohesion here, but it's about holding space. It's about being
• 29:34
  in those spaces and feeling safe and finding a space where you can release these
• 29:39
  things you've been holding on to, whatever that means for you, right?
• 29:42
  Whatever that space looks like for you, it's different. It could be a concert.
• 29:46
  It could be church. It could be a yoga class. It could be a dance class.
• 29:51
  It could be going to see someone speak.
• 29:53
  I think a lot of like spiritual people call these places containers.
• 29:57
  I always rejected that. I don't want to be in someone else's container.
• 30:01
  This sounds really like oppressive, but I'm being drawn into these community
• 30:05
  spaces more because I'm seeking them more.
• 30:08
  I've shied away from it for a long time. I've lived in these places where I
• 30:12
  was an outsider, essentially in these different countries. And.
• 30:16
  I let that oppress me. And I'm really embracing it now and trying to like step
• 30:21
  into spaces that are being held for people that don't have a firm grasp of the language.
• 30:28
  So for better or worse, but trying to say yes to more of those things.
• 30:32
  But this is if you feel drawn to the idea of like there's a shit show happening
• 30:36
  in the world and I want to do something about it.
• 30:39
  Sometimes we feel helpless and then we shut down. But I do think that in these
• 30:43
  spaces, you know, sharing these moments with people.
• 30:47
  And feeling this collective, you know, love for one another is a movement.
• 30:52
  It is a movement in the right direction. It might not feel like enough,
• 30:56
  but a lot of us feel very helpless in this moment.
• 30:59
  And I think it helps us feel more hopeful and less hopeless when we can just
• 31:08
  be in these spaces where it doesn't feel scary.
• 31:10
  It doesn't feel violent. It feels like we can all occupy a small space.
• 31:16
  I live in the Netherlands. This is a small space with a lot of people.
• 31:19
  We can live in a small space and make it work and be kind to each other and
• 31:24
  be civil and respectful with one another. There are places like that that exist.
• 31:30
  And the more places we can make like that, that we can create that feeling, the more it spills over.
• 31:35
  And it doesn't matter if you believe, if you're a believer or a non-believer
• 31:39
  or you follow this party or that party.
• 31:42
  It doesn't matter anymore because at the end of the day, we're all having a
• 31:46
  shared experience. That's why this kind of stuff resonates with so many of us
• 31:50
  because we're just people trying to survive, trying to make the most out of it.
• 31:54
  And I think if we can just, you know, be more vulnerable with each other,
• 31:58
  share more of our feelings with each other, be in these spaces and bring that
• 32:02
  joy and then bring it forward. I think there is momentum.
• 32:07
  And the change happens within us. I feel like this whole thing is so cliche.
• 32:13
  You're like, yeah, duh. I know.
• 32:16
  Don't tell me something I already know. But I just think it's fun to connect
• 32:19
  the dots. I know we all know this.
• 32:21
  We all know everything I'm talking about. But I think it just feels good to
• 32:24
  say it out loud and to say it in a new way and to say it with different words
• 32:29
  and say it with your own spin on it.
• 32:31
  Because for a lot of us, we're feeling it. We're feeling this pull to these spaces.
• 32:38
  And wherever we can create them, create them, even if it's small.
• 32:41
  Right? That's what I'm doing. I am the least important person here.
• 32:45
  But I feel compelled to share it. And I'm going to keep sharing it.
• 32:49
  Even if it's just with my daughter. Even if it's just a long conversation with
• 32:53
  my son about how you show up with women and how you show up in the world and
• 32:57
  how you can be a good boyfriend and all of that.
• 33:01
  It's enough to share these thoughts.
• 33:05
  Don't keep them in. If you're feeling compelled to connect these dots and create
• 33:12
  better, more inspiring spaces, just do it.
• 33:16
  Just think, how am I holding space for someone?
• 33:19
  How does it feel like it might be an important space to hold for them?
• 33:23
  It makes it so much easier.
• 33:24
  Then we're not getting over these hurdles of insecurity and confidence.
• 33:28
  It's just like, I want to do this to create space.
• 33:32
  And this feels like a good space to hold.
• 33:36
  So very funny topic i feel
• 33:39
  like a 14 year old in awe of this person but i think i'm in awe of him for maybe
• 33:44
  different reasons maybe it's the same maybe we're getting all pulled forward
• 33:48
  with him for the same reasons but i just thought it was a really cool really
• 33:53
  beautiful thing okay i'm gonna leave it at that talk to you next week.