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When to Offer Advice | Pele Yoetz | Hachzek Day 137 · The Torah Sparks Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you had a beautiful Shabis Parchis Lech.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: New week.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: That means brand new learning of Pelaioit.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: Today's topic, as I mentioned uh last week on Friday, is very interesting because the safer is called Peleoit's wonderful advice.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: And this section, this paragraph is called Yoit.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: So we're gonna learn the Pelioit's advice on the section of advice.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: Isn't that amazing?
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: Here we go.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: Mitzvah Ikalius Yoitov against the Misha Show me mana.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: If somebody asks you for advice, there's a mitzvah to give proper advice.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: Some people withhold from giving advice because the person who they give advice to is not gonna necessarily thank them.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: And if the guy, for another another reason why some people don't like giving advice is because if the person listened to you giving advice and they end up falling or failing in that area, who are they gonna come back to?
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: Not themselves, because they didn't make the choice themselves.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: They ask you, so they're gonna come back to you and put you at fault and complain.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: The person will say, What why do I have to get into this?
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: Let me just not give advice.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: A person says to Pelia should not be worried about this, because she told me an Aitzah I'll be so when a person comes to you for Aitzah, give it to him, Rah, you should be clarify, clarifying your words and say, You should say that I understand you're coming to me.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: But like, don't don't put it up put it on me if something that I advise you to do and you end up failing, don't like come back to me and start complaining and say it was my fault.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: Since you've come to me for advice, it's my obligation to give it to you.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: This is what I feel.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: This is what based on my life circumstances, based on my knowledge, this is what I think you should do.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: But don't just take my word for me.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: Also consult your creator, consult your maker.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not taking responsibility that if uh ta cala came about through this, now it's my fault.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: Again, this is all if somebody's asking you for advice, then you should give it to him and make these uh you know prerequisite statements.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: But if a person's not coming to ask you advice, it is basically the idea of not giving unsolicited advice.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: Just don't give it.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's not worth it.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: They're gonna end up complaining against you if it you're if they think you're at fault because you've steered them in the wrong way.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: A person should flee to run away from run away from being a shark, right?
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: The shard is in this topic because so much of the time people will be tully and and and put their whole life on the sharkin, on the matchmaker, even though at the end of the day, they're just they're just an agent, they're just a shliach.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: If you have shush, a person could say, listen, somebody else could do it.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: If somebody uh you know uh is approaching you to be the shachan, and then in that case, you can't just say, Oh, I'm not gonna do it.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: Now you have an uh obligation, you shouldn't like over-exaggerate requests or praises that sometimes shakhanim do.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: You should speak minimally and say, if this is decreed from Hashem, and this is what he wants, then go ahead and this is if this is what you want, go ahead and do it.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: If Hashem wants it to work out, it will.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: And in that case, you're not taking the full responsibility where that now they're gonna come back to you and be like, oh, it's your fault, this, that.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: Says the Pelly, sometimes you do have to offer unsolicited advice.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: If you see a friend who wants to do something, and you know that if he goes in that direction, he's going to fall and slip and stumble.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Because of the mitzvah, you actually do have an obligation to give advice even though you weren't asked.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: If you know, if you see what he's gonna do, if you see what your your friend is doing, um, that it's leading to some prohibition, to target surah.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: Now you can step in and give advice and steer him away from that, Shimla.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: You're given us a bono, then uh if you don't do that, you could be held accountable.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: Vegam Le Echov Uve Sab, certainly as it relates to your family.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yetinlay Meitovo, you should give sometimes unsolicited advice.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: Even if they don't ask you, it's like your to your own self.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: They're like your own flesh, your brother.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: So he's fine, grandparents giving advice.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: Shafilo Heim Asu again, shalom, shalom it's uh, even if no one asks you.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: You have an obligation to guide them in the right way.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: Gearing them that way their actions are beautiful.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: It should be good for them.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: Wishing you all the best.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: Have a wonderful blessing filled rest of your day.